All language subtitles for The.Only.Way.Is.Essex.S09E12.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-SLAG_track3_[eng]

sing songs, real life ructions
and some random ramblings.

The tans you see might be fake
but the people are all real,

although some of what
they do has been set up

purely for your entertainment.

Previously on "The Only Way Is
Essex."

- James, you will not be
staying in my room tonight.

- Sam walked through, was
holding the blond geezer's hand

and then later on she was sat on
his lap,

a few of the boys said they
saw her get with him as well.

- You also mentioned
about a girl on Twitter,

and I asked you if you
thought it was a good idea.

Her name is hundred percent,
Peachy Nessa.

- I don't think you be with Ken
anymore.

- You see, I think she knows it
deep down.

- Is she going with him?

[Woman]- She's going with him!

- Did she just leave with him?

[jazzy pop music]

[bus brakes]

[Gemma]- I've gotta have
a drink, I'm so stressed.

[Billie]- Have a nice glass,
Gem.

- Oh, God.

- How's things, all right?

- Stressed, so my top lip's
sweating.

I always get a sweaty
top lip when I'm nervous.

Like literally my hands are like
shaking.

- You've got nothing to be
nervous about,

the shop's amazing.

- It's all done, it's
lovely, everyone's coming.

It's gonna be a lovely night,
don't worry.

- Everything's just come at
once,

the moving, the shop, James
Argent.

- Tell us what happened
at the Murder Mystery.

- Yes, fill us in.

- Oh God, basically, James
cannot keep his hands off of me.

- We all knew that, we knew
that.

- And the passion was just
there.

[Sam]- Yeah.

- And yeah, we made love to each
other.

- So you done then?

- It was just so passionate,
the way he was kissing me,

he like pushed me up against the
wall.

- Did he?

- I was unbuttoning his shirt.

He was like on top of me and his
chest,

and he was sweating and
it was just passionate.

- Yeah well you definitely seem
satisfied, that's for sure.

- I'm as happy as Larry, and
I've never

smiled like this for a long
time.

[laughter]

[rock music]

[Tom]- Smile!

- No, don't take pictures Tom.

Tom stop it mate, shut up.

- Oi, these don't look right
what I'm taking of yous two.

- Joe, put your phone away.

[J]- I'm zooming in.

- I'm actually quite excited,
you know,

I'm a little bit nervous, quite
excited.

I haven't date for a little
while.

- What's she like, have you
spoke to her on the phone?

- Well she seems attractive you
know,

on her profile picture on
Twitter,

and yeah she seems like a nice
girl.

- Have you spoke to her on the
phone?

- No.

- So you haven't heard her
voice, nothing?

- No.

[Joey]- Ah, mate, voice is quite
an important thing as well.

[Tom]- Yeah, I think so too.

- Say you meet her and she goes
"hello",

what you gonna do then?

- Or say she's got a James Lock
voice,

"hello son you all right?"

[laughter]

- But I'm seeing her later and

I don't even know what I'm doing
with her.

She likes musical theatre

so maybe something theatre
related.

- When you spoke about it
Gemma at the start was like,

she likes musical theatre, so do
I.

- It'd be nice to have similar
interests.

- I suppose.

[pop music]

- I think I'm more nervous now

than what I was thirty
years ago for me wedding.

- I feel like it is a wedding.

- You didn't have none of this,
did you,

when you first got married?

- No, no make up artist.

- No, no hair do or anything.

- Did me own nails.

- Cause I had none of this
business,

you just had to get
married and that was it,

the following day.

- I would say it should be a
good day,

but I feel like I don't
know if I can enjoy it

with all this stress going on
with Ricky,

now he's, he's angry with me now

because of the boy at the hen
party.

- Oh it's ridiculous, I
wouldn't take any notice of it.

[Carol]- you've done nothing
wrong.

God, you only had a drink with
him.

- We went and got a drink and
that was it.

I didn't see him again,
I didn't get his number,

I don't even know what his
surname is.

In fact I can't even remember
what his first name was.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- But Ricky's like heard
about it and gone mad,

and he's tweeted that he's
fuming,

about this whole hen do thing.

- Just block him off, a
lot of them are divorcing

over them twitters and
whatever it is, twittering.

- One of the first things he
said to me is

oh, I won't be coming tomorrow,

and I was just like whatever.

And now I'm thinking about
it, if he doesn't turn up

he's gonna be in big trouble.

- Don't worry over it.

Oh hold on me curler's coming
out.

[pop music]

- Watch out.

- Hiya [kisses]

- What, she only sells clothes
for, overs-

is it rude to say oversized
people?

- Yeah.

- Overweight?

- Nope.

- Yeah but it is overweight?

- But say it nicely.

- How do you say, bigger?

- What about bigger people?

- Heavy set?

[laughs]

- So, are you gonna start
shopping in a shop like this
soon?

- What are you trying to say?

[techno beat]

- So nice, isn't it, all this
stuff?

- Yeah it's a shame we can't
buy anything, isn't it?

- I know, I want some of these.

- I'm getting so much stick
at the moment about my size.

- What, because you're so slim?

- It's really annoying
me, because I'm healthy.

Here I am a six to eight, which
is small,

but it's through exercise.

Like, Gemma's happy at the size
she is,

I'm happy at the size I am,
it's just the way it is, like.

- We're all really different,
us girls aren't we?

- I just quite want my boobs
back, though.

- Is that padding?

- Yeah [laughs]

- I was going to say, they're
looking quite big today!

[techno beat]

- How come you and Abby didn't
meet?

You've actually been dating her,

you've been on about five
dates over the last four weeks,

and you still haven't done a
thing.

- I'm learning.

- You're a pathetic specimen of
a man.

- I'm learning to be a
gentleman.

- You're not a gentleman.

- I am a gentleman,
I've been good as gold.

- You're trying to, every time

you go on a date with her you
hint...

- You all right?

- You all right, all
right Diags, how are you?

- Hello

- Good?

- Yeah, good thanks.

- How've you been?

- Not bad, yeah.

- Good, is Joey coming?

- Don't think so, no.

- I like your parrot t-shirt.

[Sam]- Yeah.

- I know, yeah.

- You do look ridiculous, yeah.

This is a lovely dress, lovely
dresses.

[Sam and Billie]- Thank you,
thanks.

- Beautiful, Cor, this is
awkward, innit?

- Oh look, cheers Gem.

[Gem]- If you're thin,
you ain't coming in.

- I hear that Cyril Sneer's
been doing some shit-stirring.

- Who, Mario do you mean?

- Mario

- Yeah.

- Yeah, but I think he just
thought

Joey had the right to know.

- Yeah.

- Was there nothing happened
then?

Nothing to tell?

- Not really, apart from the
fact we was all at a table,

yeah, I was flirting, dancing,

and whatever else, but that's
it.

It's like, you know,
yous are all going away

in a couple of weeks, like
I'm gonna be hearing things

and it's gonna happen, it's
gonna happen.

- We just want everything
to be all right, sweet,

we can all be happy.

- Yeah, no, it's fine, and
I feel like we've all been

really awkward recently, like,
you know...

[Diags]- Yeah, we don't need to,

we don't need to be awkward,

we should be able to talk to
each other.

- Yeah, exactly.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Good?

[Billie and Sam]- Good, yeah

- Cheers, to Gemma

- To Gemma.

- This is a bit weird.

- This is a bit weird.

- This must feel like what
it feels like to be you

and you're talking to me.

- What looking down at you, you
bastard.

[laughs]

- Come on, get us measured.

You want to measure my sausage?

- From what I've just felt,
there's nothing to measure.

- Go on, measure him.

- Oh, that sausage!

- I was like, I know we're
friends again

but don't fucking overstep the
mark.

- So I've got to alter your
trousers then,

for the wedding vows.

- Yeah, that's gonna be
interesting, the wedding vows.

It's quite a nice
occasion to go to though,

to be invited.

- Yeah, should be good, should
be good, be interesting.

- Yeah, I wonder if
Ricky's gonna be up there,

sitting on the family table...

[light pop music]

- Thank you, cheers mate.

- Enjoy.

- Thank you.

- Come on, boy.

Christoph, it's Rick.

[Little Chris]- All right
Ricky, what's happening?

- Buzz me up mate.

[Little Chris]- All right,
sweet, bye.

[buzzer sounding]

- It's like the puppy club,
innit?

- How you doing, you all right?

- Yeah not too bad.

- Let these, let these two play.

Come on, rascals.

What's the matter with
you, you look angry?

- I am angry, I found
out that she was like

flirting with some geezer, like,

like and I get it right, and I
understand

that she can say well
you done what you done,

blah blah blah, and I
hold my hands up to that.

- If you're going forward,
that's never going to work.

- But at the end of the day,
what I done was a year ago,

and what she's doing is right
now.

She's doing what she's
doing now out of spite.

What I'm fighting and
fighting and fighting

and I've done what I've
done, and I've done wrong,

but I'm doing everything that
I can to make that right,

but how can I make something
right when she's doing that?

- At the end of the day,
if she's gonna forgive you,

she either forgives you or she
doesn't.

I made this mistake a long
time ago, it's what I did.

- That's what I'm saying,
it happened to you

and you done it back and it
don't work.

- It doesn't work.

- And like I'm now getting it
in my head that, right okay,

so whenever she goes out,
she's gonna be thinking

how she can pay, get me back.

- Pay you back.

- And that even last night she
was with me

and her phone rang, and
it weren't a saved number,

it was just a random number,
and she just looked at it,

put it down and put it in her
bag, and I'm just thinking

it could be that geezer,
like do you know what I mean?

- Yeah, it's gonna drive you
mad.

- And it might not be true,
it could be completely untrue.

- Things like this are gonna
slowly

send you over the edge
mate, and things will start.

- I'm going mad.

- Exactly, and things
will start cracking mate,

and then you're gonna
start hating each other.

- So are you gonna go to
Carol and Mark's vows or not?

[pop music]

- All right Arg?

- What are you doing here?

- What are you doing here?

- I'm meeting someone,
I'm going for dinner.

- What, Peachy Nessa?

- Oh, don't start, is this a
prank?

- Peachy Nessa, that loves the
wood oven?

- Oh, I don't believe it.

- The theatre.

- I don't actually believe it.

- All the things that you love.

- It was you the whole time,
wasn't it?

Oh for fucks sake, oh I
thought I was going on a date

with a really posh bird from
Fulham.

- You'll never get a
posh bird from Fulham,

you're an absolute joke.

- Why am I a joke?

- This girl that you was so in
love with

cause she was posh and from
Fulham.

- I wasn't in love with her,
I just wanted, I met someone

on Twitter I wanted to meet her.

- And a size ten, I'm that girl
Arg.

You've slept with me and
basically used it

to your advantage.

- No I didn't.

- You then tried...

- No no no, that's bullshit.

We was on the tennis court,
I was playing tennis,

and you was touching
me all over the place,

rubbing me up and then got
me, and then got me excited.

- You're deluded.

Good luck with your posh, slim
girl.

- Oh don't.

- Who's gonna bore the
absolute shit out of you,

cause you will realise one day
that it's what's skin deep.

Well, enjoy your breadsticks
and your posh bird

that you're gonna go out and
get.

James, you will never ever,
ever, ever

get in my bed again and
mug me like you have done.

[sighs]

[beautiful piano music]

[birds chirping]

[light violin music]

[Officiant]- We are here today

to renew the sacred marriage
vows

already taken by Carol and Mark.

Do you now wish to reaffirm
the vows you took 30 years ago?

[Both]- Yes.

- Once before I've stood with
you,

before family and friends.

Once again I take your hand as
my partner.

I take you this day and
forever as my loving wife.

- Today, tomorrow are
for the rest of my life,

I promise to stand by you,
dance with you in times of joy,

lift you in times of sadness
to see old bones together,

to share the love and joy of
grandchildren yet to come.

We have a bond that has
worked so we can only say wow,

we did it, we've made 30 years

- Very good.

[cheering and clapping]

[Officiant]- And now, the
wedding rings.

- You gotta coo, you've gotta
coo.

[whistling]

- Oh shit.

- That is so sick.

- What's he got in his mouth?

- It's a bit of muck.

[applause]

- All right, I've got your
wedding ring

that you told me that you'd
lost.

- Really?

- You see I found our
that when times were hard

in situations that you
sold it and I got it back.

- Thanks very much for that,
it still fits me as well.

[Officiant]- You may celebrate
this renewal of vows now,

as once again, I pronounce
you husband and wife.

[Mark]- Thank you.

[Officiant]- Mark you may kiss
your bride.

[joyful rock music]

- I'm going to throw my
bouquet, so fingers crossed.

[Ferne]- I need it.

[Bobby]- It's every gay and
girl for themselves, babes.

[screaming]

- What a lovely party.

- It is pretty lovely day.

- Do you recon that one
day maybe me and you

might have a 30th wedding
anniversary?

- Yeah!

- Renewal of vows?

- I hope so, but we've
got to get married first.

- Yeah, we've got to do the
first set of vows first.

- I think we've got a few things

to come before marriage, don't
we?

- We're the power couple around
here,

and we can't forget that.

- Seems like we're the only
couple

around here at the moment.

- I know, bloody hell.

- I've got to say I'm loving
your white drain pipes.

[laughs]

- All right, what's wrong with
them?

- Watch that Rose on them.

- You ought to watch where
you sit in them as well.

- Where's Stan?

- He couldn't make it,
he didn't want to come.

He's just really pissed off he
can't...

- Doesn't want to see any, yeah.

- He needs a little bit of time
out.

- Yeah.

- Is that why you've been
hanging around with us today,

you don't got your partner in
crime?

- Yeah.

- All right girls.

Got no mates now have I, no
mates.

- Literally.

- Yeah.

[bouncy pop music]

- How'd your date go yesterday?

- The profile picture was a bit,

it was it was a bit way
off, it was a bit...

[Joey]- Misunderstanding.

- It wasn't really...

[Tom]- Was she, was she
photogenic?

- She wasn't really the
girl I thought she'd be.

- It's not about looks,
was she a nice girl?

You snogged her?

- No, basically, I've
turned up to the date

and expected it to be this posh
Vanessa

from London or whatever,

and it turns out to be Gemma
Collins.

- What?

[laughing]

- Yes, and you know like
she plays the size thing

all the time like she,
even though I'm like nearly

18 stone she seems to think that

I won't be with her because of
her weight

and that's just not true at all.

- Basically, what she's trying
to say is

she's got all the same interests
as you,

you can get on with her if
you're just talking to her,

like, say if it was a blind
date,

but then when you actually see
her, you're not interested,

and that's what she's
trying to prove to you.

- I am never, ever, ever gonna
do any form

of internet dating again.

I will find girls going out face
to face

and actually meeting them.

[pop music]

[cheering]

- Ladies and gentlemen, can
I have your attention please?

[Cheering]

Right as you all know, that
Carol and Mark

has renewed their vows today,
and it should have been

my husband that was taking them
down there

but I done it instead and
it's been a lovely day

so everyone enjoy yourselves
and have a lovely evening.

[cheering]

[Everyone]- To Carol and
Mark! Thirty more years!

- I don't even have words for it
any more,

do you know what I mean?

For the last three weeks I've
been doing everything I can,

I mean every single possible
thing in my body to do that,

writing soppy poems and fucking

turning up at restaurants with
flowers.

I've been doing everything I
can,

I've not even gone out since it
happened.

- Do you reckon you
should write another poem?

- No, this is what I'm saying,

I've done everything, I've done,

I've gone as cringey
and as soppy as I could.

[Jess]- Why is he telling
the whole fucking table

of people that I don't even
fucking know?

- Exactly.

- Yeah like, Sam's sitting
over there laughing

like it's a joke but
d'you know what I mean,

she's just bitter, she's a
bitter woman,

like her relationship's fucked
up,

so now she wants to go over
and tell Jess to leave me

because she don't wanna be on
her own.

I just love her so much, I just
wanna,

I just wanna make things
right, that's all I wanna do,

that is all I wanna do,
is make things right.

- Can we just all chat and
laugh like we're having fun?

- Yeah, Jess.

- Let's get some shots
in, Bobby order the shots.

- See look, do you know what I
mean,

let's all get the shots in,
like...

- It doesn't matter, let her do
it.

[hysterical laughter]

- Stop with your fake laugh,
he just acts like a child.

- Let's all get drunk
and have a great time.

- Ricky hates all of them, he
cannot stand

anyone on that table.

My mum's listening, my mum's
listening.

What is he fucking doing now?

- I know it's well stupid
but I went, now listen

I went through the same thing,
believe me,

oi, Arg believe me, what
did I say about Sam?

I said I needed more time,
you need more time mate.

You do need to give it more
time.

[Jess]- Embarrassing,
fucking embarrassing.

[funky pop music]

- This ain't really a wedding
isn't it,

it's more of a, what
is it, like a ceremony?

- Yeah.

- I suppose you're
saying I still love you.

- Yeah, I still meant what
I did mean 30 years ago.

- I still mean it now.

- Which is really nice.

- That's nice he's doing it.

- Oi, you all right?

- Hey, Argy.

- Right, listen, I'm doing
some private special messages

to Mark and Carol on their big
day,

so is there anything you two
want to say?

- Mark, Carol, I just want to
say

if in 30 years I'll be where you
two are,

I'll be a very happy
man, so congratulations.

- Joseph?

- Hi Carol, hi Mark, it's
Joey here what are you saying?

We're just cooching, signing
your book, keeping it real.

You make a good camera boy Arg.

- Sweet.

- You say you're fighting, but
you're not.

Fighting isn't going out to a
club

and flirting with some geezer,

whether it's harmless or
not, that's not fighting.

- It's me going out and
feeling normal and just

trying to get my head around it.

- Feeling normal?

How is that normal?

- Because I was out with the
girls

and I was just trying to get
my head around the whole thing.

And he came up to me and he...

- Do you know how much,
how angry I'm getting

just listening here, listening
to that?

- Okay well let's just forget
about that,

cause it's not relevant.

- I can't forget about
that, it's not irrelevant.

You've gotta make a decision,

if you wanna be with me tell me.

If you don't and you want,
you can't get over it

and you wanna move on, just tell
me,

just let me know so that I can
move on,

so I can fucking cry it
out and let it all go.

Because at the moment I'm just

sitting at home doing absolutely
nothing,

not doing anything, not going
out,

just sitting there waiting for
you

to give me an answer about
something.

- I know that you're sorry
and I know how upset you are,

and I'm upset, but I am so
gutted

that I even have to even
contemplate

the fact that you have even
been with someone else.

- What do you want me to do?

I've done everything you,
if I went to you now,

what more could I do you
would say I don't know.

- I don't know.

- Because there's nothing more I
can do.

- And if you ask me how
I feel, I don't know.

- Exactly, so, but you
need to draw a line.

You can't just sit there on
limbo not knowing what you feel.

Look, at the end of the
day, unless you tell me

you wanna be with me today,

I'm gonna just say goodbye
to your mum and dad

and I'm gonna go home.

Cause I can't sit here and just
watch you.

No, no I don't wanna just
cuddle,

it's not gonna make things
better.

You either wanna be with me or
you don't.

[smooth guitar music]

[clapping, whistling]

- Come on everybody, dance.

Come on Tom, Sam come
on, Lucy everyone up.

[funky dance music]

- I dunno about you, but
watching that ceremony

and watching the first dance,

all I wanted was a guy to
cuddle and have a dance with.

- Yeah, exactly.

- It's weird isn't it?

Joey and Mario are walking over,
oh God.

- All right?

- All right?

- You okay?

- You all right?

- Yeah good, you?

- Can I talk to Sam alone, that
all right?

- Yeah, okay.

- Can I talk to you Luce?

- See you later.

- Good luck.

- You look nice tonight.

- Thanks, what do you, what
do you want to say to me?

- Sam, don't get the hump like
that.

- I'm not getting the hump, but
you know,

it's just one of those things.

- I know, I know, but the thing
is like,

yeah, but I don't,
listen, I don't want you

getting the hump about
it, what Mario's told me

because Charlie sees it,
everyone sees it

and they've told me,
and it obviously, Sam,

it hurt me but you're moving
on, Sam and I wanna see that.

- Yeah and so are you.

- You, you, I think
sometimes you think that

I'm sort of like, like trying to
move on

when I'm not, and you're
like doing your thing.

- Don't think for one minute
that I've not found this hard,

do you know what I mean?

Don't think that for one minute.

- I'm not saying that, I know
you've found it hard Sam,

we was together a long time.

- Yeah like, I don't know,
you was a big part of my life.

It's hard really.

- I know but the only thing is
Sam,

I think it's gonna be harder
if we stay in contact.

- You gotta follow this.

- But I'm a really logical
person,

and I kinda look at
things in the long run,

and I just don't know if what
he's done I can get past.

- All right, Rick?

- Do you mind if I sit there?

- Of course not.

- I just wanna, look I just
wanna talk.

- I know.

- I can't, I can't do it any
more,

I can't keep arguing.

I've done everything I can in
my bones, everything possible.

Like I just don't know what to
do any more, I really don't.

- It's been interesting.

- Interesting?

- It's just been weird,
you know, the wedding?

- I don't really know how
to start, I feel sick.

- Can I just ask one thing, and
I'm not,

I don't want an argument, and
I...why?

- Because I was selfish.

This is honesty, after the Mark
stuff.

No, no I'm not going back into
that.

- I fucking paid my dues for
that.

- But everything, I know I'm
just saying,

everything that happened after
that

was literally in that space
of about five, six months,

and after that I think before,
maybe like

a couple months before the
engagement, that was it.

Then for the year after
that I never did anything.

- Before the engagement you
stopped?

- Yeah.

- You swear?
- I swear to God.

- You swear.

- I swear to God, I swear
on my mother's life.

I was a fucking idiot.

- You were.

- I know.

- It wasn't even what you
did, it was the way that it,

I just felt like I was going
insane,

I felt like everyone was
trying to warn me and I just,

and I didn't wanna, I
didn't wanna believe them,

I wanted to be with you.

I wanted to make it work and I
actually,

part of me thought it was all
rubbish,

when you used to say to
me you weren't cheating,

I thought you weren't.

- It's a cliche I'm
going to say, but it was

literally nothing, it was
always a nothing thing.

- I don't understand,
one thing I don't get

is I was laying at home in our
bed

and you'd rather be with someone
else.

- I wouldn't rather be
with someone else, Lucy.

- Do you know how that makes
someone feel?

- I know I've been a complete
and utter dickhead, trust me.

I do sit there at home and
think that I wish my Lucy

was still there to talk to and
stuff,

that's why I'm selling the flat,

because every single time I go
in there

it's like something is
missing, you're missing.

[romantic music]

- I still love you after thirty
years.

- You still love me after thirty
years?

Why say that now, and not
for the last thirty years?

- No, for the next thirty years
as well.

[everyone awing]

- But you know from out
of everyone, out of,

what sort of person I
am, that this has been

the hardest thing in the whole
world.

Look at me.

You know that.

All the questions in
my head it's just been

playing over and over
and I've needed time,

I've needed time to contemplate
it all

and get everything in my head.

- Okay.

I'm shaking man.

- I don't know if I can forget
it.

I don't know if I can trust you.

I don't know anything
anymore, my head is gone,

but I do wanna try.

I feel like I do want to make it
work.

- Oh really, this is all I want.

- Just give me a cuddle.

- I love you so much.

- Please don't let me down.

- I'll never let you down, I
promise.

- You've ruined it now for me.

- What?

- Because when you propose to
someone,

and you ask them to marry you..

- I know Sam, I loved you Sam.

- You always think it's
gonna be just that one time.

- I know.

- So every day I still think
about it

and I still go over in my head

what was wrong in the
relationship, but.

- I know, and so do I Sam,
that's what you don't
understand.

- Obviously we weren't as strong
enough

as we thought to work through
it.

- I wanted you to be happy,
and I know you're happier.

- Are you happy?

- Obviously I ain't been that
happy,

but yeah, I suppose
I'm getting on with it.

- Are you happier, are you
happier

than when you were with me?

- I'd say I'm a happier person,
yeah.

- Okay.

- Okay?

All right, one last cuddle?

You'll always have a place in my
heart.

Okay?

- Do you know the worst
thing about this whole thing

is that we were actually best
friends,

you know everything about me,
I know everything about you.

That's what makes it worse.

- The thing is Lucy, I still
love you.

It pains me to say it, I do
still love you and I miss you.

- Okay, well I guess I'll
see you at things like this.

- I really am sorry.

- I know you are.

- I'm really, really sorry.

And you know I'll always love
you, yeah?

Always.

[slow rock music playing]

[Arg]- Charlie!

Yes, my favourite place, the
buffet!

And look who we've got
here, Charlie and Ferne!

- Whoa, where did you come from?

- Hey it's been a really
nice day, congratulations

and good luck for the future!

- Hopefully you spend another
thirty years with each other,

cause it's sweet.

- I hope that we can make at
least...

- Thirty years?

- Do you reckon that
it's going to be thirty

after all your arguments keep
walking off?

- Dunno.

[laughter]

[Arg]- [mumbles] Mark and
Carol's big day.

- Really nice day,

- Excuse you, you've got
to say good things boy!

- Yeah it's really, really
really good day, yeah.

[Arg]- What about you two, any,

any bells gonna be ringing
soon any men on the girls?

- No.

[Arg]- Are you enjoying that
food, Ferne?

- I've got enough of it, yeah.

[Arg]- Show him, you do
have a big plate there.

- I've got more [mumbles],
the more the merrier.

[Arg]- Mario, anything you wanna
say,

any lies you've tossed today?

- From you?

[laughter]

[Arg]- I just wonder
about what do you reckon's

the biggest lie you've ever
told?

- I told you you was a good
singer once.

[laughter]

[Arg]- Lucy!

- Oh, where've you been all my
life?

[Arg]- Oh no.

- You've ruined the photo,
he has ruined the photo!

- It's the crump twins!

[Arg]- It's the fair sisters!

- We're not ugly.

[Arg]- How is life single
and all that, I reckon...

- Where are we going with this,
Arg?

- Well, well I just I reckon the
job

that you and me will have,

I reckon we'll have
have one of those nights

where we both just get really
drunk

and like sleep with each other

and just like laugh about it the
next day?

- I don't think that's ever
going to happen darling,

but just keep dreaming it.

- Well why not though?

- Never.

- Why not?

- It just won't.

- I couldn't even make it
past a year unfortunately,

so well done to make it thirty
years!

And I couldn't though, no but I
wanted to!

[Arg]- All right, all right.

Is there anything you two want
to say on your special day,

what it means to you?

- Yes, Arg, we're very
pleased you've come today.

- Mark and Carol, I hope you
have another

30 years of happiness, lots of
love.

[Arg]- And you're sure you
don't want to sleep with me?

- No.

- Ever?

- Love you, Arg.

[Arg]- All right, bye.

[bright pop music]