Original subtitles

- [Narrator] On this series the tans you see

might be fake, but the people are all real,

although some of what they do has been created

for your entertainment.

Previously on The Only Way Is Essex.

- [Mark] That's it, good boy.

- Goal!

- See yous on the pitch, yeah.

- Cool son. - See ya.

- Son, I'm not his son.

- It's gonna be like playing against

a bunch of fucking girls.

- Better get practising .

Losers, you have to streak naked.

- What are you gonna do, just cut all ties?

- I'm gonna hold auditions for a new little Chris.

[laughs]

- Shut up.

- I'm never speaking to him again in my whole life, ever.

- You think I'm trying to mug you off, I wouldn't do that.

- Yeah it's pathetic, it's embarrassing really.

- I wanna propose to Sam.

[Billie gasps]

- Oh my God.

- What is this?

- Do you wanna go, or do you wanna go Dubai?

[upbeat music]

♪ The only way is up

♪ Baby

♪ For you and me now

[upbeat music]

- Whey!

- Seven, eight.

- Mate, if we did lose and we have to streak

down Brentwood high street. - Don't even talk about it,

we ain't gonna lose,

it's not even crossing our minds.

[phone ringing]

It's Joey, Joey.

Joe?

- Oi, I'm in Dubai man.

- You're where?

- What?

- Ah mate, it's a long story.

Basically, look all right, cut a long story short,

basically I'm gonna propose to Sam.

- What? - Are you?

- [Joey] I swear down, I'm gonna do it.

- Ah Joey mate, I'm so happy for ya.

- I know mate, I thought it might be coming

but not this soon.

- Nah that's what I mean, I'm well nervous,

I've been biting my finger and that,

I dunno I'm well nervous 'cause obviously

I've never done it before.

- I can't believe you're doing this mate,

this is a massive thing.

- [Joey] Wait, what knee do you get down on?

- Left.

- Your right one innit?

- Nah it don't matter, does it?

Both knees.

- I'm on my left knee now.

[laughing]

Oi do I put the ring on my finger

and then give her the ring?

Or do I leave the ring in the box

and then give her the ring?

- Nah.

- Nah you hold the box and you open it up

and show her the ring when you say will you marry me.

- Yeah boys no, it's like the biggest thing man,

ever man, it's the biggest thing,

like one of the biggest things in my life,

what I'm about to do.

- All right, nice one Joey, we love you lots,

we miss you already yeah.

- [Joey] Laters.

- Laters bro, see ya later.

- [Joey] Bye bye bye bye bye.

- Wowza.

[laughing]

- That's jokes.

- I reckon I'll be a big part of the service,

I'll be either an usher or I might be master of ceremonies.

- Page boy, page boy.

- I'm not expecting to be best man

but I reckon it'll be you two,

I reckon maybe Diags 'cause he's sort of half family,

half friend as well.

- I've known him for longer though.

- [Arg] Was Joey more sort of forced to be friends with you?

- Yeah sort of had to be friends with you,

didn't even really like you at first.

- Is that true?

- I dunno maybe he'll have two best men.

- [Arg] Maybe.

- Nobody likes us we don't care,

nobody likes us we don't care.

Drop down!

All right, one, two, three!

[laughing]

Ah, fucking hell, good one boys.

Let's reel it in.

- So what is our actual name,

is it Rockafella FC or Rockafella United?

- We're just calling it Rockafella City

United Football Club.

- It's the longest name in history mate.

I actually think it's not even gonna be close.

Arg is coming up to me giving it all

yeah you know you're gonna lose.

- I think it's a front you know.

- It's reverse psychology,

they're saying that 'cause they know they're gonna...

- Trying to get in our heads.

- They've got a manager now right, big Mark,

Jess's dad, and I've spoke to him

and he said nah no hope, so...

I know that it's a bit of a sort of touchy subject,

but Mario has put like, he's said, like if you need me

I'll play so I wanted to talk to you first

- Nah at all costs I wanna win,

I'm not gonna say it's gonna be a great atmosphere

for me and him.

- We need someone just in case.

- We're gonna need someone mate,

if someone gets a little knock or whatever

they can rest for five minutes.

- Exactly, it could help, it might actually build it

so it could be good for ya.

Obviously you've not got the best relationship with Tom

after you sonned him off.

All right son.

- This is how I talk.

- Who you sonning off?

You sonning me off Chris?

- He'll have to get over it won't he.

- To be fair mate I think I might have pulled something.

- I don't think James has.

[laughing]

[upbeat music]

- Well done.

- Was it good, was it good?

- That was so good.

Once we get a proper routine

everyone's gonna proper love it.

Obviously James, husky James,

ladies man, dropped me right out.

- Proper player.

- No game whatsoever.

- It was so obvious, the first rule of a player

is they'll go and find another girl

to try and make you jealous.

- I couldn't believe it.

I was just like what is this boy on?

- The thing is though Abs, we were supposed to

cheer for him and Dan.

- We ain't cheering for them now, no way.

- [Jas] We can't cheer for them now.

- No way are we cheering for them.

- And also it's like my brother, Diags.

- [Abi] I think we got to cheer for the other boys.

- Diags has been like well upset as well.

- No we're supporting team Diags all the way.

- Apparently they're called Team Football Nutters.

- I love it.

Team Football Nutters.

What's the other team called?

Team Mug Off?

[laughing]

[upbeat music]

- I'm glad you like it.

- Thank you so much.

- I love you.

- I love you too.

Best surprise ever.

- I did it for you 'cause you're a special girl.

- How did you know to pack this?

- You know I just know them sort of things,

you like kaftans and beige bikinis.

- [Sam] Kaftans.

- Is that beige?

- it's like a salmon pink.

Ah it's just so luxury.

- The views are amazing.

- [Sam] The Burj, the atlantis over there.

- I don't get how a place can be built like this,

it's just amazing.

How did they make like...

- D'you know that this 10 years ago was like none,

hardly anything. - There was nothing here it?

- Well it was, there was stuff here but hardly anything.

- Was Dubai a country?

- [Sam] Yeah it, it's they, the Arabs,

cause it's all the oil isn't it?

- Yeah but I don't think this was a country,

I think they made this a country,

like they actually built the sand and the underneath of it,

'cause you can't make a palm into a palm tree

out of the world, d'you understand?

- I dunno, I don't really know much about the middle east.

- This is man made.

Why can't you touch hands and things like that?

- I think it's, I dunno, It's just their religion really,

I think it's like you have to be married,

and obviously all the women

only show their eyes don't they, so like...

- What so you've gotta be married to kiss in Dubai?

That's why I like Essex better.

- Oh so you can kiss me more.

- [Joey] Mm.

[laughs]

- That's a fair enough excuse.

- Yeah.

It is annoying that I can't kiss ya but...

- You can kiss me in here.

- Quick.

- [Sam] This is private, you're allowed to kiss in here.

- Yeah but just in case someone's looking in binoculars.

- I don't wanna sound like a pussy

but that James is well intimidating.

I'm quite scared of him.

I'm being honest with ya.

And the thing is though he's got this

really croaky voice like the godfather.

It's proper scary.

- It's obviously just where he shouts so much all the time.

- Yeah, yeah I think he needs a glass of water.

- He's angry, get a glass of water, chill out mate.

- It does make things more exciting though, don't it.

- Yeah it's made it more interesting,

like it's gonna be proper intense now the match.

- I don't wanna knock our confidence,

I truly believe in my heart of hearts we can win this match

but let's be realistic, we're massively the underdogs

but I've got an idea, I've had a bit of a brainstorm.

- [Diags] What?

- And I think you two are gonna like this.

I think we need this.

[phone rings]

- [Mario] What's happening, what's going on?

- Mario.

- [Mario] How's you doing mate, you alright?

- Basically you see these two new guys,

James and Dan or whatever their names are.

- [Mario] Yeah yeah yeah.

- Basically well they've sort of like palled up with Ricky,

and Little Chris, as you're probably aware.

- [Mario] They're taking my place mate,

they're taking my place.

- Exactly they're taking your place, you know,

they don't give a monkey's about you

and basically they've sort of,

they've challenged us to this football match.

I dunno how you feel about it but I'd love you

to sort of cause a stir, you know,

I'd love you to play for us.

- [Mario] So me play against Ricky and Little Chris.

- Yeah get right involved and stuck in.

- [Mario] Me playing against Little Chris

is a bit of a dream come true.

[laughing]

- The last thing I wanna do is be a wind up

and shit stir but I suppose he did try and ruin your life.

- [Mario] Exactly, Chris tried to ruin my life,

Rick stood by and did nothing about it,

I offered my hand in friendship and he turned it down.

- Exactly maybe you know if you scored a few goals

or stopped them from scoring.

- [Mario] It'd be amazing.

- It might make you feel a bit better.

All I need to know is that you're in yeah?

- [Mario] Yeah I'm in definitely.

- All right that's brilliant.

Alright Mario, I love you lots mate,

I'll see you, I'll see you at the match all right.

- [Mario] Yeah see you soon, ta ta mate.

- Nice one mate bye bye bye.

Yes!

- Mate if we've got Mario as well, mate this game's ours.

- It's ours for the taking.

- I can't wait to see Ricky and Little Chris's faces

sitting there like.

- Whenever you want someone to fuck over someone,

their own mates.

- Mario's there.

[laughing]

- [Sam] Billie, it's me.

- [Billie] How are you?

- Yeah I'm currently sitting around a private pool

with a cocktail, looking at a lovely view of Dubai.

- [Billie] Oh my God amazing, what's it like, is it lovely?

- It's just so nice.

He's hired like this private apartment, villa,

it's humungous, it's too big in fact

and it's got a private pool,

and d'you know like the end of the palm you look across,

you can see everything, so can see the Burj,

you can see like the city bit,

you can see the Atlantis,

you can see everything, it's amazing.

- [Billie] What are you doing tonight?

- Well I don't know, everything seems to be

like one big surprise, so I haven't got a clue.

What you doing then?

- [Billie] Nothing really, just in the shop working.

- Ah, lovely.

[laughs]

Okay, well I've got to get back to sunbathing now

so I'll give you a call later.

- [Billie] Okay, have fun, bye.

- Love you, bye.

- Will you marry me?

Will you, will you marry me?

[sighs]

[slow melodic music]

Nice innit babe?

- I know, there's a party going on down there.

- It is, um...

You like it yeah?

- [Sam] It's lovely.

You not hungry?

- Yeah.

- You are really lovely to me.

I'm gonna go to the toilet.

- All right then.

Be quick.

- I will.

- Dad?

I'm in Dubai and I'm with Sam.

I just, I'm scared Dad.

How did you do it?

[upbeat music]

- Rayment.

- The cavalry are here.

- It ain't just a game, this really isn't just a game,

this is more than just a game, this is our prides,

this is our egos, this is everything right now

that's on the line.

- When they all run past mate fucking naked,

imagine how sweet that's gonna be.

- Tom Pearce do you believe?

- I believe mate!

- Diags do you believe? - I believe!

- [Arg] Jack Bennewith do you believe?

- I believe.

- Danny I can't guarantee you'll play but do you believe?

- Yes.

- [Arg] Darrell do you believe?

- Course!

- Jamie Reed do you believe? - I'm in, I'm in!

- Come on! [cheering]

- Give them little nudges, little pinches,

little punches, little digs.

No-one's gonna see that, but them you're there,

'cause then the next time they take that touch

they'll be worried that you're behind them.

Normally--

- [Arg] Alright losers!

- [Ricky] Look at this.

- What an absolute bell.

- I thought I'd er...

- What is this, football nutters?

- I thought I'd come and wish you all luck.

- What is that, salmon?

- That's lovely, that.

- It's a nice shade of salmon you got there.

- Listen boys I don't wanna throw

a little spanner in the works or anything

but obviously just to let you know

Mario is playing for us today.

- Oh he is playing for yous lot?

Ah mate, who else, anyone else?

- Well nah you know lets say.

- [Chris] Anyone else you wanna do?

- Only, listen, we're only keeping it close friends,

and yous lot have all got plenty of experience in football,

semi-professional.

Boys good luck.

- I've played with Mario mate, he's absolute pone,

Al Capone.

- See ya later boys, good luck.

- Take it easy, yeah, don't slip.

Ah what an absolute bellend!

- It just shows where his loyalties lie obviously Ricky.

- The fact that he's on another team

has fired me up even more because I have never

wanted to win this match more than right now.

- [Diags] They've lost their girls.

- What d'you mean they've lost their girls?

- James mugged Abi off, well now we got them on our side,

cheerleading for us.

- So not only have they lost Mario,

they've lost their cheerleaders and after this

they're gonna have no pride left either.

[cheering]

- Here he is!

Here he is!

How are ya, great to have you here mate.

- I've come to support, not to play.

- What?

- I've cracked a bone in my foot and my back's fucked, so.

- Not gonna be playing then.

- [Mario] Not gonna play, I wanna, I really wanna play,

I'm actually gutted I can't play.

- Honestly Mario?

- Honestly mate. - You winding me up?

- Not winding you up.

- Are you getting drunk tonight?

You're downing the champagne.

- You look beautiful.

- [Sam] Thank you.

- You always look beautiful.

I love your lips.

- [Sam] Thank you, I love your lips.

- Um, wait one sec.

- What is that?

- I've wrote down a massive list,

but I can't remember it, so.

- Of what, things you love about me?

- [Joey] Yeah.

- Really?

- Right.

Sam I know we've been through a lot together

but no matter what happens you're always there for me,

supporting me with serious problems

or the lovely little things you do for me,

like teaching me to operate the till in Fusey.

Um.

- Why you crying?

Why you crying?

- It's 'cause I love you so much.

- I love you too, don't cry.

Are they happy tears?

- Yeah.

- [Sam] Good.

- I bought you out here because,

because Dubai is special and magical like you,

and erm,

because,

will you marry me?

- Oh my god.

Yes!

Joe!

I love you so much.

Of course I'll marry you.

I love you so much.

You need to put it on my finger,

oh my god that ring is amazing.

♪ I won't let these little things slip ♪

- It fits perfect don't it.

- [Sam] Oh my god.

♪ But if I do

♪ It's you

♪ Oh it's you

- I'm so happy.

- I dunno why I'm crying.

♪ I'm in love with you

- I love you so much.

- [Joey] I love you too.

- I'm really nervous.

♪ I'm in love with you

♪ And all these little things

[upbeat music]

- Come on boys!

Let's have it, let's have it!

Come on!

♪ It's a beautiful day

♪ Sky falls you feel like

♪ It's a beautiful day

[cheering]

- [Mark] Come on boys, listen, Diags in goal,

Darrell, Tom at the back yeah.

- We ain't gonna argue, we're not gonna do

any of this bullshit, we're gonna win this game,

and we're gonna win it well.

- Watch your footing 'cause they're gonna have a go at ya.

Get as many shots in the first five minutes as you can.

- Rockafellas on three.

- Come on lads!

[cheering]

- Rockafellas.

[cheering]

- Rick, Rick!

- Go Diags!

Go, go Diags!

Go on Diags, we love you.

- [Arg] Everyone fucking concentrate!

Come on, wake up, mark someone.

- Arg, where are you mate?

Arg mark your man.

[cheering]

- That's what I'm saying!

- [Mark] Come on boys.

Chin up.

- Penalty!

Referee it's a penalty.

It's a penalty.

- How much is this ref being paid?

- [Ref] It's gotta be outside the area.

- Jameo, go on.

Go on James, it's our foot.

[cheering]

- Yes, come on!

Yes!

- Arg, Arg, Arg.

Arg!

You're in!

[cheering]

Come on!

[laughing]

- Come on drop it bellend!

- Get off me, shut up mate.

- Oi!

[whistle blows]

[indistinct arguing]

- I watched you.

I watched you.

- He pushed me.

Who pushed who?

She watched it.

Are you serious?

- [Jas] Calm down you silly little prick.

- He pushed, he comes up and pushes me and--

- [Jas] No he didn't!

You pushed him, I saw that!

- You're losing Ricky, 'cause you're a mug.

- [Jas] He didn't, don't lie.

[whistle blows]

- I'm so happy.

I am officially now your fiancé.

- Yeah, what am I then, what am I?

- My fiancé.

- So what, I'm your fiancé?

- Yeah.

- So what, are you my...

- Fiancé.

- We're both the same thing?

- Love you so much.

- [Joey] I love you too.

- I'm really, my heart's beating really fast, really fast.

- Ah.

- How long have you been planning it?

- Ages.

- Have you?

I need to speak to Billie.

- Do you wanna ring Billie?

- Yeah let's ring her, let's ring her.

- [Billie] Hello.

- Bill?

- Billie, it's me.

I'm engaged!

- [Billie] Oh my god, congratulations!

- I know I just can't stop smiling.

- [Billie] Ah!

- Billie, Joey's your brother in law, to be.

- We've discussed this.

- [Billie] I'm more than happy to have him

as my brother in law.

- Love you Bill.

- [Billie] Ah love you too, well have an amazing night.

- Thank you.

- [Billie] Love you, bye.

- Love you, bye bye bye.

Ah she's so happy.

- Ah I can't wait to get home now and celebrate.

I'm engaged!

- [James] It's only a goal, innit, it's nothing.

- It's 20 minutes yeah.

I know we're gonna feel knackered at times

but 20 minutes with 100% effort.

- Keep the discipline, Ricky's losing it,

Chris is losing it, Charlie ain't a goalkeeper.

Now come on boys let's get going, come on let's do it.

- Charlie's got nothing on you Diags mate.

[whistle blows]

- [Female] Come on boys!

- Get to it, get to him.

[cheering]

- Three-one!

Three-one!

Three-one!

- Arg.

[cheering]

- Yes!

And again, and again, and again, and again.

Locky, finish it.

Well done.

[applause]

- [Male] Well done Locky.

- [Male] Jack, down the line!

[cheering]

Jack, Jack!

- Five-two, boys, the underdogs,

come on, who's the underdogs now?

- [Both] Five-two, five-two, five five, five-two.

- George!

Arg, where are you mate?

[cheering]

- Two minutes boys, two minutes.

- Five-three, it's two minutes left.

[whistle blows]

[cheering]

- We actually did it.

Coming into this game I didn't think we was gonna win

and every single one of yous proved everyone wrong,

and I'm so proud of everyone here.

- We played our hearts out boys.

- Especially you Diags, you know you're always down

and saying what am I doing with my life sort of thing,

you just showed everyone what you can do

if you put your mind to it, well done mate.

- [Female] Well done, well done boys!

- Everyone's seen where loyalties lie today,

that's cleared things up I'd say.

- We've gotta make the engagement party

really super special,

because they're coming back from Dubai,

that is amazing out there.

- So they're gonna be all like on a high aren't they.

- Make sure she's got a hair appointment booked for it.

- That's what I've done.

I've booked her a hair appointment so she can get that done,

but obviously it's just the dress.

- Better get Joey one as well.

- Yeah!

Exactly.

- He'll wanna have his hair done.

- Yeah he will, probably want it cut or something

won't he so it's all fresh, but no we've got so much to do.

[cheering]

- [Lads] Football nutters, football nutters,

football nutters, football nutters,

football nutters, football nutters,

football nutters, football nutters.

- First of all, man of the match, Diags!

Secondly, the top goal scorer, Jay-mo.

Thirdly, biggest row on the pitch, Danny,

and fourthly our rock at the back, Darrell, well done mate.

[cheering]

- [All] Football nutters, football nutters.

- Oi not only did we actually win,

we gotta see them mugs get naked.

Team Rockafella, Rockafella my arse!

- [Lads] Football nutters, football nutters,

football nutters, football nutters,

football nutters.

♪ Know what I said is true

♪ I can feel the love can you feel it too ♪

♪ I can feel it all

♪ I can feel it all

♪ Know what I said is true

♪ Know what I said is true

[wolf whistles]

- Someone's looking hot.

- Hello.

♪ Know what I said is true

♪ Know what I said

- It's your best mate.

I didn't think he was coming.

- To be honest mate neither did I.

- These kind gentlemen are about to strip bollock naked.

- Are you really?

- Yeah, so erm.

- Could have been worse though, it could've been Arg.

[laughing]

♪ You know what I said is true

♪ I can feel the love can you feel ♪

- Chris is behind us.

- Yeah I know.

That's obviously Chris and Ricky talking about us, or me.

- Ah I'm excited are you?

- I'm excited now, how cool is?

- [Sam] Actually I feel a bit nervous.

- It's so cold.

- Everyone's gonna be going, "Let me see the ring."

- Does my hair look all right?

- Yeah it looks lovely.

Do I look nice?

- [Joey] Do I look reem?

- You look reem.

- Ladies and gentlemen please put your hands together,

the newly engaged, future Mr and Mrs Joey Essex.

[cheering]

- Well done.

- I love you man.

[cheering]

- Basically I'm gonna do it from my phone

'cause I can't remember speeches and stuff so.

First of all I wanna thank you all for being here tonight,

my dad, Sasha, Frankie and Chloe,

and my sister in law Billie, to be.

- To be, to be, to be.

- To be.

All my best mates, James, Tom and Arg,

you're all my best mates,

and you have always been there for me.

- [Female] Just take a deep breath, it's all right.

- I can't.

- You can, you can.

[indistinct whispering]

- You're all my best mates and you have always

been there for me, Tom, James and Arg.

I know everyone calls him Diags but to me his names is James

and his mouth isn't diagonal.

He's a lovely looking kid,

and don't let anyone ever get you down mate,

you've actually got quite a straight mouth.

Dad,

Dad I wanna thank you more than anyone

because you are the one who bought me up in this world,

you got me through everything,

and the hard times and the good times,

I love you more than anything in the world.

I couldn't have done this without you

and I couldn't have asked for a better Dad.

I hope one day I have kids and I'm just

a great dad like you are to me and Frankie.

I love everyone, I love every single one of you

and especially my fiancé Samantha Faiers, I love you.

[cheering] [upbeat music]

- Love you man.

- Love you too.

♪ How did I get here

♪ I'm in over my head

- Hi guys.

Do you mind if we sit down?

- Yeah course, course.

- You look lovely.

- Thank you so do you.

- Basically I wanted to come here myself

and talk to you guys.

- The only reason I got pissed off at the football match

was 'cause you was intimidating me.

- I was pulling my shirt, at the end of the day

I know that does intimidate people right

but I was doing it to everyone on the pitch,

when you play football you do pull people's shirts,

you do pinch people, you do do little tactics

and that's what you do.

All the comments that I've said

and anything that I may have put your way

I just want to apologise for 'cause obviously

I don't know you guys that well I shouldn't really

be passing judgement on you guys.

- No, I appreciate the fact that you've obviously

come to apologise 'cause to be honest

it's probably hard for you to apologise.

- Yeah I am a stubborn, you know what I'm like,

I am very stubborn and you know I like to say

what I need to say and I just wanna leave it all behind us.

- Okay.

[upbeat music]

- D'you know what, Diags is looking so hot tonight.

- You should've got with Diags from the start.

- Why didn't I do that?

'Cause you know what like,

I go for all like the proper like...

- Muggy pricks.

- Muggy pricks dun' I?

Tom was good looking but like nothing happened,

James they're all like into themselves more

d'you know what I mean?

Diags isn't like that.

- You look like bloody Willy Wonka.

- Right everyone the time is here!

[cheering]

So girls, anyone wanna see some naked boys?

Bobby this one's for you son!

The Rockafellas!

Let's see some ass.

- [Crowd] Off, off, off, off, off,

off, off, off, off, off, off, off,

off, off, off, off.

[cheering]

- [Arg] Give us a scoot boys!

[cheering]

- Like her face lit up when they walked in,

and Joey, aw, it was so nice.

- It was nice, was really nice.

- [Lucy] With their family there.

Alright Rick, Chris.

- You all right, how you doing?

Look, I've only got a few things to say, obviously, like...

- So you gonna play the victim again,

ah look at me I'm little Chris.

Ah everyone feel sorry for me I'm Little Chris,

you're pathetic Chris.

- I'm not actually here to argue with you

and us all bickering at each other.

- Ever since I've gone out with you you've been a nice boy,

lately you've been a complete prick.

- Mate I ain't changed.

- Shut up let me talk.

- I ain't changed, I ain't.

- No, listen to me, you fucking listen to me.

Right, so I've come back, I was nice to you,

you sat there and played the victim,

you've let her go through absolute hell

knowing you could've said something

but instead you just sat back, didn't get involved.

In my eyes that's as bad as a coward,

that's just as bad as doing anything.

- You saw me break down, my whole world, Mario,

Mario's family, my family,

but you let me get that upset,

you let Mario get upset and you didn't do anything,

you didn't do anything.

- And you come back and you play the victim.

- Look me in the eye, you look me in the eye and--

- He's a mug, you know he's a fucking mug.

- Stop it, stop it. - Don't you ever do that.

- You know that.

- Ricky, Ricky, you never heard what he just said.

- Ricky if someone did that to you and Jess.

- Yeah I understand that, do not ever,

don't threaten him, you don't do that.

- He's not my friend, he's not my friend.

- Right fair enough but--

- Look look look at the end of the day--

- What he's done is not a friend.

- Exactly, we're never gonna be friends.

- So please fuck off.

- [Chris] We're never gonna be friends.

- So please fuck off. - Stop it stop it.

- I understand what he said to you,

oh yeah you know it's all bullshit whatever,

at the end of the day he wasn't there,

he doesn't know anything that happened.

- So why does he slag me off?

- No but he didn't sit there and say you done it.

- Oh my god Ricky.

- Ricky, you know it's wrong, you know it's wrong.

- I'm on your both of your sides, just let me get--

- No don't be in the middle, don't sit on the fence,

you know he's wrong!

- At the end of the day, all right,

at the end of the day don't be saying that.

- Or what?

- Wait.

- No no no.

- Or fucking what Chris?

- Stop it now sit down.

- Or fucking what?

- Mario, Mario, Mario!

- Mario, stop it.

- Stop it.

- You know how many times Mario has been there

for you and your brother.

- I'm not saying he hasn't. - You know he has!

- All right the thing is. - He's pathetic.

- He should be a fucking man and say

and be a fucking man and put the situation right,

you're just as bad as your brother because you did nothing,

you sat there and did nothing,

and let all our lives get destroyed.

You did nothing!

- Luce, wait, I'm asking you please

just to sit down for a second.

- No it's bollocks.

- To you I say good night.

- This, this there needed to be like this.

- To you I say good night.

And to you I say fuck yourself.

- Please don't be like that Mario.

- He could've easily at any stage sorted this out

but he didn't because he's a spineless little mug.

- You came in here to resolve things,

it hasn't been resolved and that's how it's left now.

It's over.

[slow melodic music]

- Mr and Mrs Essex.

- This is the best engagement I could ever ask for ever.

[upbeat music]

♪ The only way is up

♪ Baby

♪ For you and me now

♪ The only way is up

♪ Baby

♪ For you and me now

♪ The only way is up

♪ Baby

♪ For you and me now