Original subtitles

- [Narrator] On this series, the tans you see

might be fake, but the people are all real,

although some of what they do has been created

for your entertainment.

Previously, on "The Only Way is Essex."

- Do you need me for the opening of Fusey?

- I will have ducks everywhere.

- Yes. - It will look like a pond.

- James, you're nothing to me.

- All right.

- You know what, I don't think actually

I'm ready for a relationship for the minute.

- Yeah.

- Still be mates and that, yeah?

- Yeah.

- Cheers.

- Oh my God, they're so fit.

- In a moment, I'm going to bring you back into the room.

Open your eyes.

- How'd you feel?

- I feel thinner already.

- Dude, you're talking shit about my family.

- Who are you talking to? - He thinks you act dumb.

- Why do I act dumb though, Ricky?

- The way you flaunt around!

Look, I know you're a clever girl.

- But that's what girls are like!

I am a party Essex confident girl.

[upbeat music]

- [Joey] Ricky always tries patronising people,

and he's like, he tries making people feel small.

I used to look after Danny when he was a kid.

He's only 19, and it's like

he's out of order really, innit?

- Couldn't get a word in.

Ricky doesn't let me get a word in,

because he wants to get his point across so badly,

he doesn't even see the world around him.

Every time I tried to speak, it was like "ah"

in front of me.

- He's fucking out of order.

He shouldn't have said--

It's out of order picking on someone.

Especially when he's the one in the wrong

in the first place, when he said stuff about his family.

And then Danny's come to sort it out with him.

And then he's mugging him off again.

What's that about?

- I don't know, like

it pisses me off

the way that you hear stuff in Essex.

But then like, obviously he didn't say it to our face.

So that's what I wanted him to say.

I'd rather him say it to our face

instead of going around bitching.

- We've never had nothing, like a problem

with Jess or Ricky.

I've never said a bad word about 'em.

- It's confusing, I know, but.

- [Abi] At least you both confronted him.

- The only thing with Ricky, he just shouts so much.

- Yeah, 'cause I'm not really like the arguing type, am I?

- Nah. - I've never argued with you.

He needs to control hisself.

I was saying, like "I'm four years younger than you."

- As long as I've confronted him,

and I feel like I've got it off my chest.

- You shouldn't shout at girls.

Let alone my sister.

That's what I think. - So you stuck up for her?

- [Danny] Yeah, basically, I had to.

- Good, well done, she's your family, you should.

- Actually, I could hire you as my body guard.

- [Danny] I'd rather be Abi's body guard.

- There you go.

- Why?

- I'll protect her big melons [laughing]

- What is it with these?

Seriously?

- [Danny] I think you just need to stop getting them out,

to be honest. - I don't think I can help it.

[laughing]

- [Ricky] Just coming at me all like,

"You're disrespecting me and my family, you know?"

And I'm all like, "Well, I haven't said anything.

"All I said was you are quite smart at school."

I said, "I ain't got a comment on your brother."

- [Little Chris] Yeah, of course.

- He's a bellend, an absolute bellend.

And then when I explained it to her,

she still didn't want to take any of it.

She was just like, "Well, you know,

I just think it's out of order."

I was thinking, do you know what?

Just grow up for a second.

Stop attention seeking for so long and just chill.

She just jumps onto every single guy.

She goes, "Oh, it's okay, like I'm single,

"so I can see as many people as I want."

And then her little brother started piping up,

like proper piping up.

He's like, [grunts]

"Why are you talking to my sister?"

"Why are you talking to my sister?"

I was like, what do you mean?

Your sister's talking to me, like just chill.

He's like "you're disrespecting my family."

Just go away.

Just off, go.

You know? It just does my nut in.

Like he just walks around and tries to be Joey.

But Joey's himself, like that's Joey.

- Yeah.

- Don't start trying to copy other people.

- If you have any more problems,

I'll back you up though, mate.

Because I ain't particularly found of him.

- But I think this whole Tom thing is well random.

- I think it would have been better if he'd come up to me.

Out of a courtesy of being on two dates with me.

- Yeah, to be fair, that would annoy me a bit.

Because like, you go out with a boy.

You made the effort to get ready and stuff.

And then they just ignore you. That's a bit muggy, innit?

- Yeah, he could at least come up to me

at the beginning of the night,

and spoke to me at least, instead of waiting until the whole

end of the night to tell me.

- [Jasmin] Forget it.

There's no talent left. We need to look for some more.

- [Abi] Yeah.

Two new eye candies.

- Oh my God, yeah, who are they?

- Who are they?

- [Jasmin] I've never seen them before.

- We need to go on the prowl.

- Reel them in with a fishing rod.

Like that.

We've got to catch them.

- Reel them in.

- If we don't like them, throw them back out.

- Throw them back out.

- [Tom] I didn't really fancy her.

And I thought it's a bit weird that Diags snogged her.

- [Arg] [Laughing] Yeah that is weird.

That is really weird.

- I do snog girls, you know.

So why are you making a big deal out of it?

- I'm not, I just didn't really fancy her

that much in the end.

- So you used me, saying that I was disgusting,

as an excuse?

- Yeah, but show us how you snog.

How do you snog?

Look.

- No, don't do that.

- [Tom] You've showed me before, and it's disgusting.

- Go on, do it, Diags.

[laughing]

- [Tom] See what I mean?

That's what I mean.

- Oh, let's see your snogging, go on.

Snog away.

- I don't snog, I kiss.

- [laughs] That's bullshit.

[laughing]

- So what, you think you can kiss better than that?

- [Arg] Course I can kiss better than that.

- Go on, then.

- I've got dry lips.

- [Tom] So you do your snog, and I'll do one.

Start off, the hand 'round the neck, it's like.

[laughing]

- Do it again, properly.

- That was it, mate!

[laughing]

- That's worse than mine!

- Yours are disgusting.

[laughing]

- Nah, don't stick your tongue in like right at the start.

- Well, do you stick your tongue in right at the start?

- No, you get lips in first, lock in place,

then go for the tongue, it creeps by.

[laughing]

- Why don't we swap? I'll go for Jasmine, you can have Abi.

- [Diags] Why don't I get someone?

- No, why don't we just meet new girls

and go out and have a laugh?

- Why am I getting left out of this?

- [Tom] Yeah, we could do that,

but then if worse comes to worst, we can swap.

- Maybe posh girls.

- You love posh girls, mate?

- I love well-spoken girls.

Suits my style.

I'm sophisticated, I'm dapper.

- No, you put on a good front.

But really, behind the scenes you're just horrible.

- [Arg] Oh shut up, Diags.

[laughing]

[slow music]

- There's sulphate of ammonia, no.

- Slug and snail killer.

- Well no, they're not slugs, they're like big rats.

You need something more stronger than that.

- Rose clear, bug clear.

- Ultimate bug killer.

- Cat spray, cat repellent, who wants to get rid of a cat?

- Oh, look here!

- Mole repellent.

- Why does it smell of garlic?

- [Joey] We'll catch 'em with this!

- [laughing] No, get off!

- We'll catch 'em with this! - That hurt!

- You can't catch it with that!

- You can't catch a mole!

- [Joey] Catch it with this. - Mole's under the ground.

- You have to put

something down there.

- [Girls] You can't!

- Then what are you planning, what are you doing?

- You need this, repeller. - Oh my god, is that a mole?

- [Girls] Yeah!

- [Billie] That's what they look like, rats.

- What, haven't got any eyes? - [Girls] Yes, they're blind!

- Oh, that made me cringe!

- So once you've got the mole in there,

what are you planning with doing it?

You can take it to your garden.

- [Joey] Keep it as a pet, if you want.

- [Billie] No thanks.

[upbeat music]

Oh, it looks lovely.

It's good, innit?

- Yeah, perfect.

No, it's lovely.

At least you ain't pale anymore, babe.

- I know, right?

- It's awful - I hate being pale.

- Aww, you've got a little mole.

[laughing]

- What are you giggling at?

- It sounded like you're talking about a little mole.

- [Lauren] It's probably the size of a mole. It needs to go.

- No, keep it, it's cute.

- [Lauren] No, I definitely want to get rid of it.

What do they do?

- [Frankie] Tie a little bit of cotton 'round it

and it just falls off.

- I think they used to do that in the olden days

with teeth, not moles.

They used to put the string on the door and slam it.

- Shut up.

- Don't worry, Lauren, I'm sure it's all moved

on since them days.

- That is gross.

- So me, Chloe, and Sam had a little chat or whatever.

Like, we're gonna have a little family dinner.

'Cause I think Joey gets a bit, like--

- [Lauren] Stressed?

- Yeah, he does.

- Sam wouldn't out of the blue wanna be our best friend,

and vice versa, but she's not a bad girl.

What people don't realise is Joey confides in me,

and then I get upset.

'Cause I know about their relationship,

and I only know Joey's side to be fair,

it's easy for me to feel protective over him,

and like, be against her a little bit.

But I don't wanna be like that,

that's just how it is. - No, of course not

[upbeat music]

- I've got these biscuits next to me,

and I don't wanna eat them.

- Really?

- It's really wild.

- So what have they done, put you to sleep

and spoke to your subconscious?

The guy said to me, "You've gotta imagine

"yourself how you wanna be."

I visualised myself with this big, blonde hair,

sparkles comin' out my eyes,

the brightest white teeth, right?

- You already have that.

- Yeah, I know, but like on a smaller version.

And then I had this emerald green dress on to the knee,

nice tan, nice wedges, and a little fluffy dog with a lead.

- Really?

- And I visualised myself, still me, but like a size 14.

And when I visualised it, I become like,

really, really like felt amazing.

I was untouchable.

But what I have to do to feel that,

is to go like this.

Keep away.

- What, is this Gemma's new thing now?

- Yeah, this is the thing.

When I do this, this brings back all my empowerment

and the fact that I am strong, and it is mind over matter.

And I don't need them biscuits.

[birds chirping]

We've definitely gotta get one of these bad boys.

- [Danny] That's well good.

- He poos, sleeps, and does nothing else.

[laughing]

- [Danny] We might as well call it Diags.

- [Jack] Don't worry about Ricky, anyway.

Who actually cares?

You shouldn't really worry about

what a little bean like him thinks.

- Yeah, I know.

- Why do you care?

Like, we hardly even know him, mate.

- But it's gonna be quite horrible.

- Think about it, we went to his bar

and then he goes and mugs your family off.

Why invite you if he don't like you?

- Yeah, I think Diags, Tom, you, and Joey,

like all of us stick together, don't we?

- Exactly, so stop worrying about people.

[upbeat music]

- [Ricky] What's going on?

Rick.

- James, man.

Pleased to meet you.

- We saw you at the St. Patrick's Day parade, right?

Yeah, thought we'd come over and say hello.

- How you doing?

- [Ricky] Yeah, not too bad, you enjoying it? Yeah, good.

- Bumped into a few people,

obviously got introduced to a few people.

There was a few good looking girls there.

- [Chris] Oh yeah, I was gonna say,

you're tattooed completely up.

How long did that take, then,

with the whole sleeve?

- [Dan] I had it done in five different sittings.

But like four hours a sitting.

- [Chris] 'Cause I wanna get a sleeve.

Like, I've never had anything,

but I'm not one of those people that goes

and gets just a little one.

- [Ricky] We're probably gonna go out later

to the pub with a couple of other boys

if you fancy it.

- [Dan] Yeah, mate.

- [Ricky] Come down, have a couple of drinks,

just get to know everyone.

- Definitely, mate, yeah that'd be nice.

- Yeah?

- [Dan] Definitely, mate.

- Good stuff.

I'll let you get back to what you're doing.

- Yeah, cheers mate, nice to meet you.

- Take it easy.

- You look like you've been working out hard.

Rick, let's go to the other gym, we're amateurs.

[laughing] - See you later on, guys.

- See you later - See you guys.

- [Joey] Jack and Danny, Jack and Danny.

Jack and Danny.

- [Jack] What's happenin'?

- [Danny] What are you doin', the sign?

- He's puttin' the sign up, yeah.

It's a duck, innit?

- [Jack And Danny] That looks sick.

- The launch party soon, you gonna come yeah?

- Yeah, yeah, of course.

- I will have a job for you, both of ya.

I'll sort you out both a job.

- Do you need a security guard?

I've got the leather gloves, and that.

[laughing]

- [Joey] I could dress you both up.

What about putting a sandwich board on

and walk 'round Brentwood?

[laughing]

- [Jack] Imagine doing that.

- So bad, man. - Oh my gosh, mate.

- I've had problems with Ricky in the past.

And you just gotta, you know if something happens,

you just gotta sort it out, ain't ya?

- Yeah.

- If I was there, I would've stood by ya.

It is a liberty, what he's doin'.

- I dunno what to do now, really.

- Just say to him, look, I ain't got a problem with you.

You got a problem with me.

Don't talk behind my back,

I won't talk behind your back, innit?

- Yeah, cause I don't want it to be like ag all the time,

like I just want it to--

- Look Dan, don't worry about Ricky, all right?

You'll be all right.

Don't worry about him, man.

I'll look after ya.

[upbeat music]

- Arg, thanks for coming.

I've ordered you your favoritest bagel

in the whole wide world.

I just wanna say I really am sorry,

and you didn't deserve it.

You are a lovely boy.

I'd be really upset if you didn't accept my apology.

Losing you as a friend would be terrible.

- I accept it.

- [Waiter] Here you go, Arg.

A lovely bagel.

- [Gemma] Look, two bagels just for you.

- [Waiter] And she's got your drink.

- And a drink.

And fish balls.

I won't be having a bagel today,

because I am in control.

Do you know what that means?

I have an urge to have something,

I just go like this, and it stops me.

- What, you don't even want one fish ball?

- No, I don't.

- Fish ball?

- I don't.

Now I'm in control, Arg, and there's no stopping me.

- All my stresses and worries in life at the moment

are to do with you.

- Do this.

- I need you to be happy and be in a good place.

- Babes, I'm in such a good place.

Have you ever seen me resist a bagel?

I'm strong.

I'm physically strong, I'm mentally strong.

Things have taken a massive turn in my life.

I made up with my boyfriend.

- Have you?

- And I moved back in with him.

- [Arg] Good.

- So.

- [Arg] That's good though, innit?

- Really, really good.

Really happy.

- And what about Bobby and Charlie?

- I'm gonna go and see Bobby and Charlie.

I'm gonna congrat--

- For me, will you make a bit of effort with them?

- James.

I'm gonna go to Bobby and Charlie.

And I'm gonna say, "I want us to be friends again."

But at the same time, you know,

they need to apologise to me

for not really being there for me.

They did really know what was going on.

- But all this arguing stuff,

that sort of stuff.

- [Both] It's not attractive.

- But I'm glad to see that you are sorting yourself out.

[upbeat techno music]

- Hi, boys, a'right?

- Smells fresh in here.

- [Joey] Yeah, I know.

- How you doing?

What's going on? - Good to see you, mister.

- It's looking good, mate. - So what's going on?

- [Bobby] You know I spoke to you the other night.

- Yeah.

- What do you think about us doing your Fusey launch?

- [Joey] Obviously I've got ideas,

have you got ideas?

- [Bobby] Yeah, we've got some ideas.

We obviously wanna find out yours.

- I'm thinking definitely green and yellow drinks.

Dunno why, I think it's weird.

And then you can get them ice cubes

that glow up like neon.

- [Charlie] That's cool.

- [Bobby] Put them in the drinks.

- Yeah, get them, yeah.

Break dancers, if we can get them.

Because I've always wanted to learn how to break dance.

I still wanna do it now.

- When we think of you, Joey, we think,

you're a bit of a leader, and you're very individual.

And obviously a lot of people know you

for your wacky ways.

And obviously now you like the ducks,

we could call it "quacky ways."

- [Bobby] I mean I love duck egg blue, as a fashion.

But I've never ate, like duck egg with soldiers.

- What, actual duck egg?

- Yeah, 'cause we eat chicken eggs,

but I think duck eggs are blue.

- I never ate one either.

I feel mean.

- So we don't want any duck egg and mayonnaise sandwiches?

- No, nah.

- Allow that.

- We're also thinking maybe some random noises,

like duck noises, pond life noises, frog ribbiting.

- [Bobby] This is already gonna be the best event in Essex,

I can feel it.

- [Gemma] I've met with Arg today,

just before coming here, and I made up with him

because he said to me that I was

getting on everybody's nerves

and people were pissed off with me.

So I said sorry to him, he accepted.

- [Joan] But it's stress that can make you

just totally lose the plot, isn't it really?

And you take it out always on the ones

that are closest to you.

- Yeah, don't mean it though.

Obviously I had nowhere to live,

you couldn't help me out.

- Well you wasn't homeless, Gemma.

You could have come back here,

but you didn't choose to come back here.

You had three settees to sleep on,

but because your father couldn't

put your bed up straight away

because it was an antique bed,

and it had to wait to the weekend,

you wasn't prepared to do that.

- Well is the bed up now?

- And then you could've gone with your brother,

who's got two bungalows on his property,

but you didn't want to live there.

- It was too far.

- So you wasn't, you know, you're playing the victim

all the time, you wasn't actually homeless, was you?

- Well I was.

I just wanna say it's silly that we keep rowing.

- Yeah there's no point, life is too short, Gem.

- So just gonna sort of like leave it,

nip it in the bud - You know, to be unhappy.

- Yeah, it's not worth it.

- You only live once, Gem.

And it's nice to enjoy every day.

Because you don't know what's 'round the corner.

- That's very true.

Did you have a nice break for a couple of days?

- I missed you every day, obviously I missed you.

Did you miss me?

- Yeah.

[upbeat music]

I wonder what Frankie makes for dinner.

- I reckon she'll make something traditional

like a traditional English dinner.

- Joey said she's quite good at cooking,

so I'm looking forward to that.

Like since Christmas and stuff,

when it's been a little bit of drama,

everything's just back to the way it was, thank god.

But what they have got to, and what they do realise now

is that actually we are going forward with our relationship,

we are, like been together nearly a year,

do you know what I mean?

- So are you going to start seeing them all the time, now?

- Yeah, I don't see why not.

We had that big gap where we didn't see each other,

and now everything's smoothed over,

me and Joey are happy,

yeah, I don't see why not.

[upbeat music]

- [Chloe] I'm so excited

about having a selection of my stuff

in Joey's shop.

- I know, Chlo, do you know how good that is?

- [Chloe] This time next year, Frank!

I could be on the catwalk!

That looks so disgusting right now.

- Do you know what?

I don't think I've actually ever cooked for Sam.

And Joey, at that.

Never.

- [Chloe] That's mad, innit?

- It's quite mad really,

considering they've been together how long?

- You're gonna get judged on your cooking skills.

I like your dinners.

Joey'll eat anything.

- How 'bout a bit of red wine?

- [Chloe] Yeah, if you've got red wine.

- [Frankie] Course, babes.

And like these little, this little zhuzh.

I don't know what it is, but it looks nice.

- So have you thought of any names for the shop?

- I dunno, I've had a couple of ideas, but not sure.

You've gotta put your input on it.

- Well I was thinking, what about Naughty Tatts?

- My favourite one's gotta be Get Your Tatts Out.

[laughing]

We need to start looking for other artists as well,

if there's anyone interested,

and maybe a piercer.

I'm thinking maybe get like a girl for a piercer

so that guys wanna come in as well.

- Yeah, a good looking bird piercing, yeah.

- No one's allowed to have their thingy pierced.

- No?

- No, not in our shop.

- I was thinking about having that done, actually.

- Nah, no way.

There's not a small enough needle, is it?

- [Ricky] What's happening, boys?

Couple of beers for ya.

- Cheers, mate - Cheers, nice one.

- [Ricky] How are you doing, you all right?

- How you doing, mate?

- Yeah, not too bad, yourself?

- Yeah, good.

- What's been happening?

- How you guys feeling from the gym?

- I'm all right.

- [Chris] Sore mate, did you see those weights

I was picking up?

- Them little grey ones?

[laughing]

- [Chris] It's not about being the biggest bloke

in the gym always, is it?

- Nah.

- It's about being the most ripped.

- With a face like yours, you don't need a body.

It's the personality that gets me through, I'll be honest!

[laughing] So you do a bit of modelling, don't you?

- Yeah I do, I do some.

I've been to a few places modelling.

I've been Milan, Germany, and LA.

- Bloody Hell - And I'm going to New York

in a couple of weeks. - That's cool.

So hopefully it goes well.

Is it all like body model, or?

- They tell me it's gonna be clothes,

and I'll get there and they always tell me

to take my shirt off.

- How can they treat you like that?

Like a piece of meat.

How degrading.

- The thing is you've got feelings.

- [Dan] It's bullying.

- [Ricky] I mean we've all got emotions.

- [Chris] So what are you gonna do on the woman front?

Any girls caught your eye yet?

- [James] I've already met a few of the girls.

Like obviously I've met Billie and Danni, Jasmin.

They seem like nice girls, really.

- [Ricky] Jasmin, I don't think she's gonna

be your sort of thing.

- [James] No?

- Well I dunno, actually, it might be.

I knew her ages, I went to school with her ages ago.

And she was all right.

- So what happened?

- [Ricky] And then I didn't see her

for like four or five years, whatever it was.

Must be about five years.

And she's just come back this little horny devil, mate.

Every time I turn around she's with another fella.

- [Chris] Some of the girls you gotta be

a little bit careful about.

You boys look like you know how to handle yourselves.

If you're looking for Miss Right Now,

i.e. the one you're gonna take home,

then go with it, if you're looking for Miss Right Now.

- [Ricky] I think, do you know what it is?

I think it's just more attention.

And it's just like, I hate attention seeking girls.

- Listen, you can't knock her for that.

I think she's a good girl, really.

- The only thing that's worrying me is the budget.

Because the stuff he wants is so out there,

and it's so not your average.

- Joey isn't average though, is he?

- No, but I'm just thinking, how are we

gonna actually price this off?

We've got a lot to do.

- [Gemma] Bobby, how are you?

- Good thank you, how are you?

- Good, your quiff looks nice.

- Thank you darling, I thought I'd have a bit of a haircut.

- Hello, you guys. - You all right?

[upbeat music]

- [Chloe] Frank, it looks so nice.

Do you want that, Jo?

- [Frankie] I'm sweating.

- [Joey] Jack and Danny basically come by my shop today,

and they was like, "Oh, the shop looks cool,"

and took a photo of it.

- [Sam] Can I just say, doesn't Jack and Danny

abbreviate fanny?

It does, doesn't it?

People say it.

Jack and Danny.

- [Chloe] What, so people call their nun Jack and Danny?

- Well some people do.

- Well no, people will say it, it's like saying--

- [Frankie] Apples and pairs, stairs.

- [Sam] Go on, carry on.

- [Joey] Right, so basically Jack and Danny

come to my shop today, the sign was getting put up.

And then I dunno, he seemed a bit shook up,

you could tell he was a bit shaky.

- [Frankie] Who, Danny?

- [Joey] Jack and Danny, right?

Was getting mugged off by Ricky.

'Cause Ricky was saying in the grapevine, just gossip,

saying "Oh, I don't know about the Walias."

I said to him, "If you want to talk to Ricky,

"I'll talk to him with ya."

He left.

- [Chloe] Can I just say, do you remember

when Ricky first come on the scene?

And like, people weren't really that friendly

and welcoming to him.

He's doing pretty much that to Danny,

and he needs to remember that,

because he didn't like it when no one wanted him

coming to our parties, bars.

- [Joey] To sum it up, they're two new boys

on the block, and he don't like it.

Everyone else is getting on with it, I don't care.

We've basically found a house in Brentwood.

Reason I wanna move there is because

it's closer to the shop,

reason I don't wanna move there is because

I'll be away from you guys.

- [Sam] That was the only problem, really, wasn't it?

With us moving in together, because he was like,

"I don't know where."

- [Chloe] Are you actually gonna go and buy it?

- I want the shop to be open first,

'cause then my mind will be more clear.

- [Chloe] Don't forget what I told you before.

If it's meant to be, it'll be.

But don't ever feel pressurised.

- I feel I'm not here to apologise,

because I don't owe you guys an apology.

- Okay.

- I think the beautiful thing about all of this

is everything you have said now, you've gone on to do.

And I'm really proud of you two.

But we can't go on every time Gemma speaks,

every time I talk to you guys, you start shouting.

You both know I'm a very sensitive person.

- The reason I fight with you

or row with you so passionately is because I care.

Because I know you've graced this planet

for the last 32 years, I know you've got wisdom

in that mind of yours.

I absolutely know it.

But I do think you failed majorly

at diplomacy class, at tact class.

There's ways of saying stuff sometimes,

and you're not the best at it.

- Right, so show me an impression then.

What do I do that's so wrong?

- It's just the way you say things.

There's a way you can tart it up,

you can butter it up.

Do you know the saying, "you can roll a turn in diamonds,

"but it's still a turd."

Sometimes just put that bit of sugar icing on the top,

and make it a softer blow,

rather than bang bang bang, and I'm K-O'd.

And I'm like, shit the bed!

But have you set this business up?

Because obviously I said to you guys

about a business plan and doing something.

'Cause where has this come from?

Have you got experience with party planning?

Are you gonna do a party planning event course?

Are you gonna get more experience in it?

- Oh here we go, no, here we go!

Now we're gonna start talking what experience

have I got in party planning.

Let's not go down that route.

- So you're being offensive.

- No, you've already put my back up

by the comments you've just made.

- [Gemma] We're having a conversation.

- [Bobby] No it ain't a conversation.

'Cause a conversation should be something

that ain't digging someone out.

And you're patronising the shit out of me,

even now you're patronising me.

And how no one sat 'round you is gonna say

that you're patronising me just boggles my mind.

- [Gemma] Right, guys, Bobby if I--

- God, my fucking cock hurts from all this.

'Cause you actually make my bollocks ache.

You really make my bollocks ache.

We're talking about the same shit over and over again.

- But what is offensive about me asking

if you did a course? - Gemma,

- How many times do I have to tell you,

no I haven't done a course!

Ten seconds, ask me if I've done a course.

Come on, have I done a course?

No, I ain't done a fucking course!

- But Bob, why is it you feel like it and I don't?

I don't feel like she's put us down.

- [Bobby] I don't know, darling, I don't know.

- Because I'm secure in what we've done.

- Don't fucking come at me.

I can't tell you why something's affected me.

- [Chris] I'm not coming at you.

- Something can affect me and not affect you!

- Am I coming at you?

- Fuck off.

- All right, will do.

[glass breaking]

- Whoa!

- I tell you what, there is no way I'm going

into business with that.

- [Chloe] So, as you know, I'm doing my collection.

I wanted to show you some of my sketches.

- Let's see.

- [Joey] That jacket's amazing.

- [Chloe] And I'm gonna know in the next couple of days

how long until I get my samples,

and then I can show you Joe,

and then you can tell me what row I can have?

[laughing]

- [Frankie] I like how you've named them as well,

like this one, the Goddess dress,

that one's called the Darling.

[phone dings]

- What's that?

- Diags text me.

- What's Diags said? - They just said they want me

to go meet 'em down the pub.

"Joe, I'm just in the pub with Tom,

"Ricky's here, come down."

I dunno, I think they wanna know

about the whole Ricky thing.

- Are you blowing us out for the boys?

- [Joey] I gotta go meet 'em, man.

I gotta go.

- [Frankie] See you later.

- [Joey] Bye, guys.

- [Sam] You're itching to get out of here,

were we boring you or something?

- [Joey] Nah, it's sweet.

Bye, thanks for dinner Frankie, it was nice, thank you.

- [Chloe] Bye, be good!

- [Ricky] It's not her family I don't like,

I'm just not keen on her,

and I'm definitely not keen on her little brother.

He just seems like the ultimate bellend.

- Just seems like he wants to be Joey, to me.

- [Ricky] It is!

- He's like Joey's shadow.

- [Ricky] But I don't know how you can live like that.

- [Tom] What we getting, boys? - Gotta be beers, innit?

- Go on, I'll have a beer.

- I mean, I get if you're like an 11 year old kid,

- Ricky Romo is over there.

- I think Joey's at the bar with his mates.

- [Joey] I think it's a bit out of order

that he keeps confronting him and putting him

on the spot like this.

Danny is a little boy, inne?

- Yeah, he takes the piss.

- You take the piss, apparently.

- [Ricky] Really?

- [Tom] I obviously wasn't there,

so I don't know what was said,

and there is two sides to every story,

but we've known Danny for all our lives

since he was a little kid.

So we're obviously gonna believe him,

and we've gotta look out for him, boys.

- [Joey] Let's go have a word with him.

- Someone's gotta speak to you.

- [Frankie] Apparently pile cream

is really, really good for like, Botox.

Apparently all like famous actresses and models use it

and everything.

I've had Botox, but it's gone.

Like it's worn out, look, I can move my head again.

- [Chloe] Frank, basically a model must have been

doing bits with a scientist,

and he must've gone, "listen,

"forget all that expensive cream you buy,

"and whack that on your face."

- 'Cause what's it got in it? It must be

like a really thick--

- [Frankie] Really, a I gonna walk

into a shop and buy a pile cream?

- [Chloe] If you go to a supermarket,

I'm pretty sure that it'll be down the medical aisle

and you won't have to actually ask for it.

And then you can do the self-service boop,

and you're out of there.

- [Sam] Oh yeah!

- [Joey] Guys.

- You all right, what's happening?

- Chris, boys.

- How you doing?

- Hello, nice to meet you.

- Hello, son.

- How you going, mate?

- So what's been going on with you and Danny?

- Have you come in here to ask me questions

or just accuse me of shit?

- We're not accusing you, but you've done something.

- But you weren't there, innit?

You're hearing what he's told you.

- [Joey] We ain't come here to argue, for one.

We've come here to ask you a question, right?

- And I'm saying--

- [Joey] You don't like him, yeah?

- Yeah, I don't like him.

- There's people I don't like,

but look, all I'm saying

is when you see him out, be civil with him.

- I've mugged him off, and I don't like him.

- He was scared to come up and talk to ya, Rick.

- He came at me, he started being a mug to me,

I was a mug back to him, we left it at that.

- Listen, you're a lot older than him,

he's been texting me all night,

and he's pissed off, he's a bit upset.

- [Ricky] I understand that mate.

- And to be fair, I've always looked after him.

I don't want people going about mugging him off.

- Course.

- Don't go about saying he's a nasty kid,

'cause he ain't, he's harmless.

The kid's harmless, mate.

- [Ricky] This is what I'm saying, right.

- He's harmless.

Ricky, what you gotta understand, can I say one thing,

he confronted you, right?

Trying to be brave in front of his sister,

which is the right thing to do,

obviously he's a kid, he's got shook, yeah?

So he's scared. So what he's done is he's got scared,

he backed off, and now he's ringing me up

to say, "Joe, please help-- not help me out, but

"can you go talk to Ricky?" So I come to talk to ya.

Let's put this straight, right?

So this is what happens,

when you're out next, and when you see him,

I'm not saying you have to like him,

because there's people I don't like, Ricky.

But don't shake his hand, but just go up to him

and say, "Look, why don't me and you keep out

"of each other's way."

That's it.

He's only a kid, inne? All I want you to do is,

just next time you see him out,

be civil with him, that's it.

- [Ricky] It's done now, innit really?

So I'll just, he stays out of my way,

I'll stay out of his way,

and we've all got our own friends.

- [Joey] Boys, enjoy your drinks.

See ya later.

Enjoy your drinks, sweet, see ya later.

[upbeat music]