Original subtitles

[quirky music]

- [Narrator] On this series,

the tans you see might be fake,

but the people are all real,

although some of what they do has been created

for your entertainment.

Previously on The Only Way Is Essex.

[Kirk laughs]

- You deserve better than that Lucy.

- I still love him.

- I want you to be happy.

I think a lot of you, do you know?

You're still one of my best friends.

Hey!

- This relationship you've got,

the thing that is lacking is trust.

- So how are you paying for the baby?

Off the government?

- [gasps] Are you serious?

- Diags, well, he's interested in sniffing cheese.

- [laughs] Your future ain't cheese, Diags

- I don't think it is.

- Well, I can't sell chocolate, can I?

- Why not?

- I took a pregnancy test.

It's not positive.

[upbeat music]

♪ The only way is up,

♪ Baby

♪ For you and me now

[electronic music]

- I do think it's one of those things that we just gotta do.

We're at that stage now,

we've have waited ages. - Well, I'm with you.

I'm with you every step of the way,

[laughs] even though I'm probably more scared than you,

but I'm with you. [Jess laughs]

- You're not more scared than me.

- No, I am, I'm so nervous! - I'm so scared.

- This is gonna change our lives, this is so...

Hello. - Hi, guys.

- Hi ya. - Hi doctor, you all right?

- Yeah. - Nice to meet you.

- Nice to you meet you, Dave Alsbeys, I'm the chief surgeon.

It might be helpful to know what you know of far,

'cause you're a bit more, I can give you the medical reason,

and it's simply because your balls are too big.

[electronic music]

- Please take a seat. - All right.

Hey mate, how are you? - You all right, Joe?

- How you've been?

- Yeah, long time, mate. - Yeah?

Can I have just the same Fusie hair cut, please?

- Fusie, yes?

- Yeah definitely, Fusie.

- What's a Fusie?

- Basically where it's short on the sides,

and it's just basically long on top, just keep it long.

- [Chris] Okay.

All right. - What do you say?

- That's pretty sick mate.

I don't have a clue what to have done with mine, mate.

I just want it really to be a bit of a head turner.

I need to redo all of my fashion,

I'm redoing everything, mate.

- I don't know if you know, I'm opening a shop right now.

- Are you really? - Yeah.

- What are you selling in there?

Is that gonna be like your kind of style?

- Yeah, it's gonna be like all my sort of clothes

and all my look in there, yeah.

- Sick, mate.

- It's gonna be sort of like a museum.

- A museum?

A fashion museum?

- A fashion museum, yeah.

- That's quality.

- I need to get the right people working there,

because I need people to look like me,

like loads of Joey Essex running about the street.

- That sounds good, mate.

I look like bloody Tintin, mate.

- Tintin? - Honestly, yeah.

Like, literally I look like Tintin.

- My mate calls me Tintin.

- Does he?

- I don't know why, I don't know who Tintin is.

I thought he was the man out of Wizard of Oz.

- Isn't he?

- Is he?

The man that's made out of tin.

- Yeah, Tintin.

- But he ain't got any hair.

[dramatic music]

- This is laser eye surgery.

I'll give you a feeling for what it's actually like

on the day. - Yeah.

- I'm super nervous.

- Are you? [Ricky laughs]

- Begins with bit of anaesthetic in the eye,

a couple of drops, works straight away.

- No injections or anything?

- No injections, just drops.

And then, I use this little thing here.

- Oh, God. - Yeah?

First thing we gotta do is, in effect,

cut a flap on the front of the cornea.

- I don't know if I wanna know.

- I'm then gonna fold that little flap over out the way,

[Jess moans] still attached.

We used to use a blade device.

- Oh, that's disgusting.

- I don't understand

how you are so calm now. - I actually feel like

I better touch wood.

[doctor laughs] - And I'm still,

- Ricky is, - And I'm still a bit.

You got the shakes over there. - Cause you're such a baby.

- No, I'm not a baby, I'm a realist, all right?

99.9% of the time, it's fine.

.01 is not, with my luck, that's me.

- Yeah. - No, it isn't.

- I'd come out like a Cyclops. - Don't be stupid.

He's right here. [Ricky grunts]

[upbeat music]

- How are you and Mario?

Are you all right, now?

- To be honest, mate, I haven't actually spoken to Mario.

- He hasn't-- - Why?

He just ain't got in contact, mate.

And because of all of this, it split up our group.

Ricky is pretty much like sitting on the fence,

Charlie doesn't have a clue like why we're arguing

and I'm just like, "Look, at the end of the day, Mario,

"the corridor is open for you to still be my friend

"if you want that to happen."

And this whole thing is tearing everyone apart.

And everyday I'm having Charlie and Ricky ring me up

going, "Have you made up with Marion yet?"

- Maybe you should be the bigger man, Chris.

You go up to Mario and say, "Look"--

- I feel I've always been the bigger man, mate.

I feel like every single time

that one of us disagrees on something,

if I don't run back to him, it's not gonna happen.

[upbeat guitar music]

- Surely if you boil milk it curdles, no?

- I've never boiled milk.

- Have you heard anything from Lucy

since she's been staying at yours?

- She thinks the twins are lying.

She's saying that they didn't sleep with each other,

and they say that they have done stuff.

In my eyes, that's still bad. - Yeah.

- To do stuff, whatever they've done,

that's still bad, isn't it?

- Whatever it is, I just feel really bad for her.

She's a young girl, she has so much going for her.

- Lucy texted Mario a message,

just to get all her problems off her chest,

apparently it's really upset Mario.

- The thing is, I don't know if I'm just a really bad person

but I would do more than send him a nasty text message.

- That's what I said.

- Do you know what I mean?

Like, you'd wanna chop his willy off with that knife.

[rock music]

- Can't believe you're still not driving.

- If I'm gonna get a nice bird to go with my looks,

then I need to drive as well, don't I?

- It's true, mate.

It is the one thing, I do think you need to drive.

- Yeah, talking 'bout girls, how's things going with Lucy?

- It hasn't been nice, mate, at all, to be honest.

- From past experience, obviously you know I've been there,

don't you?

- Obviously your past experience is that you were guilty.

- Yeah, I know, I know that,

but, you know, I'm a bit of a boy,

I did make mistakes and I think it's part of growing up

and, to be far to you, I've never ever seen you cheat,

but obviously you're fully aware

there are a lot of rumours about you going about.

- Yeah, of course. - You know that, do you know?

Everyone is saying it.

And, obviously, there have been a few skeletons,

this ain't obviously the first time.

- The thing is like in the past I've held my hands up

and taken the flack, because I knew I was guilty.

But, in this situation, I have unfortunately been

well, fucked. if I'm honest. - Yeah.

- Don't think I'm trying to say,

Mario, I know you've done it, you have bla bla bla,

but all I'm saying is that, in the past,

I used to deny it so much that I used to actually

tell myself and believe in my own head

that I had never done it.

So how are things left with Lucy at the moment?

What's going on?

- Well, obviously we have spoken

and the thing that hurts is the fact that, you know,

she didn't trust me and she should have done,

because this time I'm honest and I've done nothing wrong.

So you know it's sort of like getting

charged with murder when you haven't done,

you haven't killed anyone.

♪ I stay up late at night when it is cold ♪

♪ 'Cause my mind is running double ♪

- You okay?

- I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm all right now.

- A bit worried about the thinness,

little bit too thin, like you look a bit like--

- Well, you know what I'm like, when I get worried

about things and stuff I just - It's just drops off you,

look how thin you are.

I mean you know what Essex is like,

people get busy and this one says that

and that one said that, - Yeah, I know that.

- And this one, I know things get out of proportion,

that's why I had to come today,

'cause I thought, I don't really know what's happening.

- Everyone presumes that, everyone still around here

and everywhere thinks that he's cheated.

You must think that, everyone thinks that.

- So what has Mario said?

- He sent me a message saying,

"I'm not begging and grovelling,

"because I have done nothing wrong."

That is what he's put and that made me straight away think

this isn't what he did when he actually did something wrong,

so, do you know what I mean?

- What I want you to do is I want you to actually think

about who's telling you what, what they're telling you,

You know, she said this, he said that,

she was there, she wasn't.

And think how do you honestly feel?

♪ Walking out to lose myself

♪ Eyes down low

♪ Take my mind to somewhere else ♪

♪ We're all alone

- Hello!

How are you?

- Yeah, freezing, but good. - I know, right?

Sorry about the other day in the chemist.

- Don't worry, honey, are you all right?

- Yeah, no, I'm fine.

It's just been a stressful few days.

- So what's been going on with Kirk?

- He went from, "I would have loved

to have been there for you."

Like, "I can't believe you didn't come to me" and all this,

to the most disgusting messages like,

"You've completely lied, you're making this up."

I'm utter dirt to him and the last thing he said

was to fuck off and do one.

- Oh, babe!

- I know.

I think maybe he's a little bit insulted

that I didn't ask him to help,

like I went to Chloe instead of him,

but I don't know, I just needed a friend

and he hasn't been my friend.

- But have you still got feelings for Kirk?

[electronic music]

- Nice, couple more now, mate.

Come on, two more, one more. - What's up, man?

[Kirk groans]

Good man, good session, pal.

I'll see you soon.

- All right, cheers, mate, thank you brother.

What are you wearing, dude? - What?

- You look like a garden gnome.

- I got my gnome head, don't I?

I've had my hair cut.

- This is why you got a hat on? [laughs]

- It's very naughty, ain't it?

- Joey!

- It's like quite 80's, ain't it?

I think apparently they used to have this in the 80's,

when they'd just bowl cut it. [Kirk giggles]

Like someone's got a ruler around my head just like that,

and just went, "See you later, yo."

That's a sick one, ain't it?

- Brother, you know what?

- Streetwise.

- That Lauren thing was a mad turn out, wasn't it?

- Yeah, I know.

- I don't know where to go from now.

I'm not now gonna, I don't know.

- Have you been in contact with her since?

- I texted her a little bit after,

but I was a bit horrible to her.

- Why?

- That's why I just wanted to be her friend.

That's why I just wanted to be her friend,

'cause I didn't want the arguments like this to happen.

- Look, go meet her, but do it just you two.

Me and Chloe ain't gonna be there, you two

- No, no, no. just go there to meet up.

Because she tried to start an argument

for no reason the other day.

- She won't, just say to her, "Look, we're normal."

Even take her out, just say, "I don't want it,

"this ain't an argument."

- Yeah, but I tried to do that last time,

we went out, we had something to eat,

we was just casually talking, casually having sex,

and now she's turning it into,

as if we were boyfriend and girlfriend,

I got her pregnant and just left her.

We were friends, we weren't even seeing each other,

we were just friends.

- Maybe.

[electronic music]

- Dan.

- What? - What are you doing?

- I'm going for my first ever job, and guess where.

- Where?

- Joey's shop.

- What? - It's gonna be so sick.

[sprays hair]

[Dan coughs]

- Yeah, that looks really good,

just keep doing that.

I thought you wanted to be a model.

- Well, I do, but I need a job, don't I?

Like to find myself and stuff.

So, basically, what I have to do

I just have to walk in there and go.

- What and you think Joey is just gonna choose you?

- Yeah.

He'll be like, [snaps finger]

I think he's gonna love me.

- Have you got your CV ready and stuff yet?

- No.

- I'll do it and you can show Joey and get his approval.

- Well, all right.

- Yeah? - We'll have to get writing.

- What did you get in your GCES and stuff like that?

- Seven A stars.

- You can't lie!

- Why?

- 'Cause he'll be like. "Dan you never got seven A stars."

- I can't really remember what I got, to be honest.

I didn't do too good.

- What did you get?

- Well, I got a D and an E.

I suppose that can stand for Danny Essex.

- What, do you want me to put in brackets Danny Essex?

- Yeah.

- Okay, we'll come back to that, yeah?

Right, what's your favourite hobbies?

- My favourite hobby?

Just write I'm hinged, I go to the gym all the time

and that's my hobby, like 24/7 I'm in the gym.

And he'll be able to tell.

- You can't write that.

- This is gonna take all days, Jas.

[upbeat music]

- It really stinks.

Like the things you have to go through

to get perfect skin are unbelievable.

Do you know what I mean?

But I'm so excited that we're having a pamper day,

even though you've been totally been neglecting me lately.

- I've not been neglecting you.

I always seem to get dragged along to these things

where I've got something on my face.

I like coming out on these days with you,

I'm not neglecting you,

just maybe we could go out for like a drink?

- Sweety, it gets you in touch with your feminine side.

- I'm so in touch with it.

- And your skin needs to get better, Diags, let's face it.

[Diags murmurs]

Don't eat it!

Is he allowed to eat it?

- It is edible.

- I can eat it?

- Yes you can. - Oh, don't tell him that.

But please don't until it's all on.

- Okay, sorry.

- Would you lick it off my face?

- [Diags] Yeah.

- And then what?

You're gonna try and get sexual with me?

- There's nothing sexual about this, look at me.

[Chloe laughs]

Are you finding me sexy now, yeah?

- You're actually making me feel a bit sick.

It's kind of ruining pamper day for me.

- No, it's chocolate facial, trust me.

[Chloe laughs]

- [Esthetician] All done now.

I'll be back in five minutes.

- [Diags] Okay, cool.

- So listen, are you gonna go and have an interview

for Joeys shop to get a job?

- I do need to find something.

- I think you should plan what you're gonna say,

plan a nice outfit really fashionable,

like out there, trendy, like what Joey's like.

- He's not gonna care.

He's gonna just see someone who looks a little bit like him

and think, "Yeah, he'll do sweet in my shop."

And they're gonna beat me every time.

It makes me a little bit annoyed

I've gotta go for an interview.

So what's the point of being your mate?

If you gotta shop and you won't put me in it.

Mine's still smooth.

- No, it ain't gone hard.

[upbeat music]

- I think I went though a chunk of my life

mourning that I wasn't gonna be able to be a dad,

but then, Elton banged one out a couple of years ago,

and he's just had his second,

and it just surprises me that some people

could even be offended by what I'm gonna do,

and like, I think this ain't Downtown Abbey,

it ain't 1912, we've gotta move with the times.

- You have to get to that point in your head

where you think, "I can't worry

"about what other people think."

Whenever you see the likes of people like Gemma,

is she still going at you?

- Well, do you know what, I just feel so hurt by it.

The one time I need Gemma to sit there and listen to me

and actually be a friend and lend an ear,

I just feel like she hasn't done it.

- If Gemma was really your best friend, there is no way

she'd be talking to you the way she does.

All this you're my gay best friend malarkey, jog on.

She ain't your friend.

- Gem, just sit there, hold you guns,

and just listen to me for two minutes in your life,

just listen rather than talking all the time,

it just does my nut in, do you know?

- Don't let the likes of her get you down.

You don't need her in your life for the minute.

[slow upbeat music]

- [Sam] It's really hair.

- You have to be gentle with the horse,

don't stroke it like I used to stroke my hair.

- [Sam] You gotta be nice.

- Reminds me of you, actually.

[Arg and Sam laugh]

- I think it's really good that were here, though,

because it's actually meaning that we're so committed

to our weight loss plan and--

- At least it's fun like--

- Yeah, if you tense the buttock area,

you will get more of a better workout.

Come on, bend and up. - Don't.

No, not go up like that!

Up like that.

- Like that? - Yeah, bend and up.

- Get of, Gemma! [Jess laughs]

She's looking for excuses to touch me up.

- You wish, as you go up-- [Arg laughs]

- Can we get cracking on the horses?

'Cause I've gotta prepare the dinner

for the dinner party tonight.

- Yeah coming in. - Dinner party?

So who's actually going?

- So I'm having Joey, Jess and Ricky.

- Well, I can come along, can't I?

I'm not doing nothing tonight.

- You haven't got a girlfriend.

- Don't need a girlfriend.

Can I come?

- Yeah, the more the merrier.

- You sure?

- I'm sure. [chuckles]

- Ready Arg?

Or are you thinking about the food tonight?

- No, I'm thinking about horses.

[electronic music]

♪ Tell me you love me, yeah

♪ Touch me, touch me there

♪ Tell me you want me, yeah

- Does that spell auditions?

A-U-D-I-T-I-O-N-S

- Yeah.

- I can't believe I spelt that right.

- So have you actually interviewed anyone before?

You ain't, have you?

- No. - It's always been you and me.

Oh, I have, no I haven't, no.

- The tables are turned, mate.

You're in charge.

- Yeah.

- You're gonna sit them down,

and you gonna ask some questions,

you're gonna make them do something,

what are you gonna do?

- Basically, this is what I'm thinking, all right?

My interview is not about coming in and telling me--

- It's gonna be a serious interview.

It's gonna be like-- - Telling me

what your job was before, none of that.

I want it to be fresh, I want it to be cool,

I wanna be slick, I want it to be Fusie.

I want it to be like just normal persons.

I'm gonna make everyone do poses.

- What do you mean make them do poses?

What sort of poses? - Well, they gotta pose,

ain't they?

You know, say if you'd just go to like a job interview,

in the like clothes shop. - Yeah.

- They say, you gotta always say hello, ain't you?

Like someone like, hello, you all right?

So let's say if someone walks in,

and he looks really cool,

you gotta say, oh mate, I like them jeans,

where did you get your jeans from?

And he goes, "I got them from down the road."

And you go, yeah, sick mate, yeah, sick.

Do you know what I mean?

- That's just weird, mate.

- Why's that weird?

- You just blew him as kiss. - Yeah, but no,

no, that's not a kiss.

That's kissing your teeth, like KMT, kiss my teeth.

You've gotta teach them all these things then, mate.

- So say if they come in and they're not wearing

clothes like that. - What does that mean?

- They've gotta know to be cool.

If they come in and they're dressed like, I don't know,

not Diags, but worse.

- Yeah, but Diags' proper.

You know how much he needs this job, mate?

He thinks as one of your best mates,

he thinks he's gonna get it.

- You can't just get a job in a day.

- I know.

- I've gotta interview about 50 people.

Guarantee you, today he walks in here,

and he goes [chuckles] - Yeah, he knows his worth.

He starts making a joke out of everything,

he's not gonna get a job.

I'll say, so stop being sarcastic,

if you're working here, don't be sarcastic.

When someone walks in, you smile.

And also definitely brush your teeth,

he never brushes his teeth.

- When he comes in, smell his breath straight away.

it's disgusting, but do it. - How hard, man.

- You've got to. - I can't.

[electronic music]

- [Arg] Whoa! [laughs]

- Slow down, slow down.

- God, it hurts your balls.

[Gemma laughs]

- You're a joke.

I know you like your chocolates and sweets, yeah?

As do I. - Yeah, obviously.

[both laugh]

- So I just think we need to be at the end

of the phone for each other.

If I'm about to go, oh my God, I need a chicken korma,

with a garlic naan and a few poppadoms,

I need to know you'll be there and go,

"Gemma, it's not worth it."

- No disrespect to you, Gemma,

I mean, I think we should be there for each other,

but I don't really wanna get 100 calls a day of you.

- I ain't gonna call you a 100 times a day.

It's good that we can, like, do things like this

together now, ain't it? - Course it is.

- And there's no atmosphere or anything.

- No, it's nothing at all.

- Me and you will always have that chemistry,

because we were married in a past life.

- Why was we married in a past life?

- 'Cause I went to a fortune teller

and she said that basically we were married

in our past lives, that's why we got that connection.

- Did we divorce? [laughs]

- But how's things going in your love life and that?

- Yeah, well, status is currently single at the moment,

but I'm pretty happy doing my thing.

- You told me Jasmin was trying to sleep with you.

- I didn't say Jasmin was trying to sleep with me, Gemma.

- Yeah, you did. - No, I didn't.

- All right, what's the koo then?

You've been on a date with her.

- No, I haven't been on a date with her.

- Are you going on a date with her?

- I might do, yeah.

- Did you feel like when you're with her,

you wanna kiss her and touch her?

- No, I just feel like it's a bit of fun,

she has similar interests, nice bit of company,

she's a pretty girl. [phone rings]

Go ahead, I got a text.

- All right. - Go on.

- See you later. - I'ma catch up.

Dinner tonight.

[upbeat rock music]

- What's your name?

- Diags.

- Tell me why you really want this job.

- I like fashion, very outgoing person.

- Diags' brother!

- I like your style.

- [claps] Do that.

[Joe laughs]

Next please.

- I wanna be like the mini Asian Joey Essex,

and I've got the style and everything,

the rolled up jeans, everything.

- Like it, like it.

Have you had a shower today? - Yes.

- Have you brushed your eyebrows?

- Yes.

- No, you meant to say no, because no, you haven't.

All right, I want you to sell yourself to me

and you've got one minute.

- Pretty much, I'm your best mate,

you probably don't know the others as well as me,

and I think I would do well for you.

- I'm good at chatting to people, like,

- Yeah?

- Conversating with people.

- If I was gonna say to you, what's good?

Pull up your trouser, pull up your,

- Hood.

- Got it.

- Combats.

- No, hood.

You know that one.

- Oh yeah.

- Give me your best pose, sell me your pose.

[Diags groans]

[Joe laughs]

- Nice!

- If you saw this on the floor in my shop,

you say what happens with it?

[Diags stutters]

- It's on the floor of the shop.

- I'd get rid of it.

- No you don't, it's a t-shirt.

- Pick it up and fold it up.

- Yes! - That's nice.

- Put in pocket.

- Put it in the till.

- Yes!

- You can't rob money, so--

- I know that!

- I give you 40% mark up for that one.

- Where are you getting these marks from?

- Just making them up in my head.

The thing is it's gotta sort of go

to the head office, I suppose.

Head office is my head.

I'll give you a call.

- All right mate, cheers for that.

Thanks a lot, see you later.

- All right.

- [Diags] You'll let me know?

- Yeah, I'll let you know.

- All right, see you later.

[upbeat rock music]

[sensual music]

- See, I've never really understood what saunas do for you.

- After five minutes, all your pores open up,

which allows all your black heads

and any kind of nitty gritty to just fall out your face.

- All right, boys.

- Hello, mate!

Going for a little one?

- How you doing?

- Look at the body on this one!

- I'm trying to keep up with that.

- No, mate.

- How are you doing, mister?

- Hello, mate, how have you been?

- Yeah, really good and you?

- Where's this come from?

- Six weeks of hard work.

- I saw Lauren earlier in the coffee shop.

- Oh, yeah.

- She told me that you and her had a bit of a ding dong.

- Yeah, you know what?

I messed up a bit and I was horrible to her, to be honest.

- Why would you do that?

- Because that situation, do you know what I mean?

- That ain't cool what you did.

- I know, I know and that's why--

- You need to go see her mate, that's what you need to do.

- You know that will cause an argument, though.

- And that's what she wants. - It doesn't have to cause

an argument, what is it with Essex and arguments?

Just take a deep breath and go and have a chat with her.

- Bloody hell.

[upbeat music]

- Dad?

Arg is here.

- You all right?

- What are you doing here?

- I'm going to take her out couple,

take her out and stuff, so, hopefully, it will be quite fun.

- I'm watching you.

- All right, cool.

- See you later, sweet heart. - See you, dad, bye.

- Have fun as well, all right?

- All right, thank you, bye.

That was so awkward.

- Yeah. [laughs]

- Do you like what I'm wearing?

- Yeah, you look gorgeous.

- Can't wait, where are we going then?

- Well, basically, I've gotta meet Jasmin,

I've sort of mucked up a little bit.

- What do you mean?

- Well, basically, I've doubled booked.

I've already planned to go to Sam's dinner party,

so I've sort of doubled booked.

- I thought you was gonna take me out

to a fancy restaurant up in London to have a good time.

- Yeah, I know. - And we're going to Sam's?

- I know, I'm sorry.

Obviously, you know, I do wanna make up to you and stuff,

but I don't know, I sort of just made a mistake.

- I'm a bit annoyed, to be honest, Arg.

I just think like I made a proper effort

and I've given you another chance,

and you kind of just come around and you're like,

"Oh, we're going to Sam's, I forgot I'm taking you out."

- But it's an opportunity for you to socialise

with the girls and make some new friends

and we'll have a laugh.

- Yeah, but I'm still annoyed,

and you've gotta make up to me.

- Yeah, all right.

Are you all right to drive?

- What do you mean drive?

Are you taking a piss?

I don't wanna drive, I wanna drink,

I wanna have a few glasses of wine and stuff.

- All right, cool, listen.

- I can't believe you're asking me to drive.

- I wasn't, I was just, didn't know if you was gonna or not.

So come on, should we get a cab?

- No, it's all right, I'll get my dad to give us a lift.

Yeah? - Yeah?

- Yeah.

- All right, then.

- Okay, come on then let's go and ask him.

Dad?

[slow music]

♪ I knew that something wasn't right ♪

♪ So close together

♪ I didn't realise

- How you doing, you all right?

Yeah, yeah, are you about later?

I just wanna have a little chat with you.

[upbeat music]

- We was horse riding earlier.

I swear to God, the exercise did really work,

like all that up and down and trot.

Gemma and Arg were historical.

There is so much chemistry there with Gemma and Arg.

- Yeah, I'm telling you now,

there's a certain love between them.

He doesn't stop touching her, admit it.

- Them two were all over each other.

When I'm with Gemma - Do you think he still

loves Gemma? - And he brings up Jasmin,

I think she gets - Gemma does get funny.

- Gemma gets a little bit.

- I agree.

If you ask me, I'm sorry I think Jasmin is doing it

for attention, she knows Arg is quite popular.

[door bell rings]

- Oh, here he is.

- Oh, it must be Arg.

- Oy oy! [Arg laughs]

- [Sam] Hello!

- Hi! - Oh, Jasmin, how are you?

Hello, you didn't tell me you was bringing Jasmin.

- Hello! - How are you?

- Obviously knowing it was going to be Jess and Ricky,

Joey and Sam, I felt like bit of a gooseberry, so,

I thought bring Jasmin along, a bit of company,

nice for her to socialise. - Fair enough.

- You could have told me, Arg,

'cause I've only got five salmons.

How irresponsible is that?

[slow music]

- At the end of all this, even it's all rubbish,

I don't wanna be called naive Lucy.

- No, that sort of label will pass, you know?

Just rise above it.

And don't react, if anything just say nothing,

or do nothing, it speaks words, it speaks volumes.

- But once it's happened to you once,

you're always gonna think the worst

and you've always got a guard up,

and I'm never, ever, ever gonna trust anyone.

Have you ever trusted anyone completely?

- He's got no reason to lie to you,

because you're his mum, so no matter what you'll love him.

So he had no reason to say, "I didn't do it."

to you if he'd done it.

- It's easier to walk away from it

than have this every time.

Do you love Mario still?

- Course I do!

That's a stupid question, you know I do.

- Yeah?

So why let someone destroy it?

Do you know what I mean, Lucy?

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

- I think the worst-- - Don't care what people

say or what people do.

- But it's really hard, like,

when it's happened to you before,

and it's not even Mario. - But why you always think--

- It's not even with Mario, it's other people.

I've been with him in a club,

and a girl has been biting his ear.

Who acts like that?

And now I'm standing next to him,

so imagine when I'm not there what they do.

- Yeah.

- Girls throw themselves at him.

- But it comes with the territory.

[cutlery clinking]

- How did your interviews go today, Joe?

- Yeah, that was all right, actually your brother come.

- I know, was he good?

- To be fair he was a bit shy.

- What do you mean?

My brother's never shy.

- Arg have you spoken to Gemma?

- [Arg] Huh?

- [Jess] I'll take that as a no.

- Gemma's still my mate, ain't she?

- Yeah, with the horse riding earlier, wasn't we?

- Yeah, we had a laugh.

Apart from that, I've got an allergy to horses.

- [Jasmin] What happened at horse riding then?

- [Ricky] I heard you really hit it off with her.

- Who?

- Gemma.

- What do you mean?

- Riding horses together, galloping around,

smiling. [Arg laughs]

- Smiling.

- I heard there was a lot of chemistry.

- Jess, would you say that?

- [Jess] I think there's a lot of chemistry

between you and Gemma.

No offence, Jasmin.

- You and Gemma do have something there, you was flirting.

- Oh my God, me and Gemma are like best friends.

- These lot have told me you fancy her.

- You think I fancy her?

- Yes.

- I want the Gemma topic to stop, because it, I do--

- Do you though?

- Yes, I do, because I brought Jasmin for company tonight

and I do think Jasmin's,

Jasmin is a nice girl, I think she's attractive,

and I don't think it's fair or right for you lots

to keep banging on about Gemma.

- Fair enough, but then you make Jasmin feel welcome,

like you brought her as a date then, not just a friend.

- I brought Jasmin along 'cause I didn't wanna feel

like a gooseberry and it's a nice bit of company.

- Yeah, you and Gemma are friends,

and maybe you should have brought Gemma,

not instead, I don't mean that harshly to you Jasmin,

but you're not enemies with Gemma,

you've had a past with her, you have chemistry.

- As much as you guys want a fairy tale ending,

me and Gemma are always gonna be friends,

it's not gonna be anything more than that.

We gotta drop the subject now.

- Then you stop flirting with her!

- I don't flirt with her, we just--

- You're constantly touching her bum,

constantly bedding your, you constantly bed your head

into her breasts.

- Right, I'm just going to the ladies'.

[dramatic music]

- I feel awkward being here.

- Why?

- You got me on your territory, ain't you?

- Well, you asked. - Yeah I know.

I don't even know how to start.

I wanna say sorry.

I still like you, like, it kills me.

It's not...

I don't even know what to do.

We've tried it twice, didn't we?

And I've hurt you both times.

- I would like to be friends,

but I don't think we can be friends.

You don't wanna see me with anyone,

I don't really want to see you with anyone.

- See, the thing I'd love to be, I do wanna be with you,

I do, but, I was always thinking

that maybe if you was pregnant,

it might not be a good idea getting back with each other,

because I thought maybe we'll probably split up again,

and I went through a separation, it wasn't nice

when I was a kid and I wouldn't want,

and I don't think a kid has to grow up

in a married family to watch it.

[Lauren chuckles]

- I don't like seeing you upset.

I'm not like saying horrible things to you,

- I'm just saying like, - I know you're not.

It's me, it's my problem. - If I knew could have

the nice you like 90% of the time...

- I can't do it.

Fucking...

- Oh, I feel bad now.

- Don't you feel bad, 'cause it's me.

It's all me, it's always been me.

- I don't like seeing you upset.

- Fuck.

I don't know, I would have loved to have had a kid.

♪ The only way is up

♪ Baby

♪ For you and me now

♪ The only way is up

♪ Baby

♪ For you and me now

♪ The only way is up

♪ Baby

♪ For you and me now