All language subtitles for The Girl From UNCLE s01e26 The Double-O-Nothing Affair

This is Thrush Mobile Unit 6, switching
to scramble pattern G as requested.

Thrush security personnel notifies all
units that there is a discrepancy in

temporary replacement tally.

Please run a TBY on any replacements
before depositing them at their drop

Message received.

Anything else?

LB2, 4.

Yes, of course.

Has Mr. Kramer received any word on the
inspector from Central?

These are the last files. I see.

All right, control. Thank you.

I don't see any weapons code number on
your chart, Mr. Slade.

I'm sorry. I have an unlisted gun.

Put your guns on the floor and hands
above your head.

Stop the truck.

Stop the truck!

This watch contains a transistorized
explosive device with the power of one

one eighth tons of TNT.

I can detonate it from up to a thousand
yards away.

Now, I'm going to walk down the street.

If I see the doors open or the truck
move, bang.

Thanks for the ride, gentlemen.

Channel D, Channel D, Slate here.

Come in, April.

How's it coming?

My getaway wasn't as smooth as I thought
it would be.

I'm on West 76th Street near Amsterdam.

Now, Strash is pretty close.

I'm leaving the tape recorder in the
front seat of the limousine. You can't

it. It's the only car on the block.

I'll draw them away from here. You pick
up the recorder first and then look for

me, right?

Right.

Is it bad?

No, it's not serious.

And the limousine, the one you put the
recorder in?

Have you ever seen my disappearing car,
Trick?

Only a few of our own people know about
this.

But during the last three weeks, Thrush
has aborted several of our most

important local missions.

They're using a new mobile force.

Terribly effective.

Yes, sir, I knew.

Oh, you did?

Anyway, it seems our Mr.

Slate has taped several of Thrush's
scramble dispatches from their secret

headquarters before he lost the
recorder.

Our communications department assumed
that with the recordings we could break

down the transmission pattern and trace
the location of their headquarters.

Something like that, yes.

Anyway, it's vital that we find out who
has that recorder and get it from him.

How's the leg, Mr. Slade?

That's a minor injury, sir.

I think it's all, really.

Really?

I've covered your debriefing report, Mr.
Slade.

Fascinating reading, I must say.

Yes, sir.

Well, the limousine that got away was
rented. We're tracing it. And Section 2

analysis have found the following item
in the personal columns of this

papers. Dear Uncle, concerned about
misplaced recordings, bidding begins

immediately. Place offer in tomorrow's
paper.

You've outdone yourself, Mr. Slate.

Yes, sir. Well, I think I'll go and
check with Section... Oh, please don't

bother.

I'm turning this assignment over to Miss
Dancer.

Perhaps she can locate your recorder.

I'd like to stay on in some capacity,
sir.

You go and bring your paperwork up to
date. That'll be all, Mr. Slate.

Don't you think you were a bit hard on
him?

If I left him on the assignment, he'd
probably damage his other leg as well.

Section 2's medical expenses are already
overdrawn this quarter.

I hadn't thought of that.

Besides, Mr. Slate can be quite
headstrong.

I'm completely undisciplined.

Reminds me of myself at that age.

That's what we had, Uncle, on the run.
You had to give away the ball game.

All we've got of theirs is this watch.

I'm the first one to admit to what I've
made a mistake, Chief. However, I think

if we examine the role of the security
department, we'll discover that... Oh,

shut up, Montgomery.

That Prussia inspector drops in here and
gets wind of what's happened, we're

sure to get a lousy rating.

That means a low appropriation for next
year. I can speak for the rest of the

men, sir, when I say we'll stick it out
with you, even if there isn't a pay

increase coming.

Thanks, Montgomery.

But I can't ask the men to keep on
mission after mission unless they get

additional benefits.

The armed forces lost a great officer
when they lost you, sir.

It was their idea to have a court
-martial, not mine.

I suppose you saw this ad in the paper?

Do you think it's a pony?

I don't know.

But we'll have to play it for real.

We'll have to find whoever ran this ad
and get to him before Uncle does.

I'll get on it right away, Chief. And if
we don't get there first, it won't be

because I didn't knock my brains out
trying.

Oh, shut up, Montgomery.

Open Channel D, please.

Come in, please.

With the cooperation of the newspaper,
I've located the mysterious gentleman

placed the ad.

I'm surprised that he allowed himself to
be traced so easily.

Rather amateurish.

Oh, he used a fictitious name, but he
left his wallet on the counter.

It seems as though his real name is
Sidney Morehouse.

You'd better have security to run a
check on him.

Do you have anything else to report?

That's it.

I see.

I have other business besides your
assignment, Miss Dancer.

Call me back when you have something
concrete to report.

Yes, sir.

Looking for something, Sidney?

Oh, hi, Marvin.

I'm looking for a carton of eggs that
was supposed to come with the milk.

I guess you kids wouldn't have it.

You'll be sorry for this, Marvin.

And you can record my television, sir.

What's the matter, Sidney?

Hello, Mrs. Barnes. I think Marvin put a
rock in one of those eggs. Why don't

you grow up, Sidney?

You know, I knew your dear mother better
than anyone else.

And she told me how she wanted you to be
a success, like your brother Harold.

You're a great disappointment, Sidney.

Well, you see, Mrs. Barnes... Oh, grow
up, Sidney.

Grow up!

Goodbye, Mrs. Barnes.

I hope you get lost in the subways
again.

This is Unit 9 calling Control.

What'd you find out?

Apparently the ad was legit.

Uncle sent an agent to check it out.

What's your next move?

Well, I...

Montgomery.

Montgomery!

I'm terribly sorry. Mr. Montgomery is
out for the moment.

He'll have to call you back.

Hello, Prisby. According to my
calculations, there can be no more than

variations.

112 possible route patterns for thrush
mobile units.

Never break it down this way.

Have your men been checking out those
fleet registrations?

I removed you from this assignment, Mr.
Slate.

Will you excuse us, Mr. Frisby, please?

Good man, that Frisby.

Quiet and efficient.

And you totally disregarded my
instructions, Mr. Slate. I know, sir.

I thought that as long as Miss Dancer
was in the field, I could back her up

here. I've had Frisbee's people checking
out to garages, truck rentals, anything

that might serve to cover.

If I thought that you would have
contented yourself with that, I would

permitted it.

My concern is that you will go rushing
about haphazardly. I'd like to go

off anywhere, sir.

I can only rely on that.

There is one thing I thought of.

A thrush not only needs a way to buy and
service the trucks, it also needs a way

to dispose of them when they're used.

Yes, of course.

Now, seriously, I'm willing to overlook
this incident.

I might even consider some sort of
limited participation in this

Thank you very much, sir.

Under the circumstances, I think I'm
being very generous with you.

But I warn you...

At this time, you must confine yourself
to headquarters.

Natasha, I hope I didn't wake you.

Oh, I did?

Well, I'm here having lunch at my
private club, and...

My Bombay office didn't send you the
emerald?

Oh, well.

You know, the monsoon slowed down the
postman there.

What's that?

Oh, no, it's just I haven't heard that
expression since I was in the Army.

Uh, Natasha, I'm closing a big deal.

A very big deal.

And I'm going to have a nice, expensive
surprise for you in a couple of days.

Well, why don't you believe me?

What was I doing asleep in the car
outside your apartment when you came in?

Well... Well, I wasn't spying on you. I
wouldn't...

A call on the other line? Well, I'll
call you back.

Well, if you feel that way, I...
Natasha?

Hello? Hello?

Hello?

We're finished, Natasha. You'll just
have to accept it.

Do you always work on your lunch hour?

You're new here, so you wouldn't know,
but they're going to automate half of

this department.

I'm just making sure that doesn't
include me.

Oh, my name's Cindy Morehouse.

April Downs, sir.

An uncle, Agent.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Don't expect me to know anything.

It's all right, Sidney.

All we want is our recorder back.

I needed money.

Now you'll give it to us.

Free of charge.

I knew I couldn't outsmart anybody.

Where is it?

Hidden.

Shall we?

Okay, I will have to hurry.

I'm on my lunch hour.

Well, I still think it's a good deal.

Hi there, folks.

I thought we saw someone on the monitor
over by the trucks. I didn't.

Let's look.

Any action with those two?

I think I can sell them the sedan.

The one we fished out of the river.
Gordon, don't get queasy just because

they're an old couple. Make them take
our financing with a balloon payment. I

know.

about the inspector from headquarters?

No.

It's over on report, Victor.

Now get out there and keep an eye out
for that inspector.

And if I catch you gold -bricking again,
I'll turn you every way but loose. I

kid you not.

Control calling Unit 6.

Command 6.

This is Montgomery to Unit 6.

I have a coordinates on the Uncle Agent
and her friends.

Where are they? It looks like they're
heading for Central Park.

I'm sending Mobile Unit 19 to join you.

You can intercommunicate with them on
scrambled pattern F.

And Montgomery, don't foul this up.

I want that recorder.

Chief, I was foresighted enough to put
the homing device on the girl. I let her

come up on me from behind in the first
place.

But I can't be responsible for mobile
unit 19. I mean, who can tell what

do under fire?

Shut up, Montgomery.

Well,

it's a big park. Where did you bury it?

Where? Uh...

In that direction. Over there. Come on.
Follow me.

Come in, Mobile Unit 19.

Do you read me?

This is Johnson here.

I read you. I have a fix on our party.
You will move in on map parallel 22.

Let's move on.

filming device.

A cheap one, too.

I don't get it.

I do.

Tell Unit 19 to move to coordinates 9S.
They should be getting close.

Over and out.

Nowhere in sight, but we just came on a
guard in a shack.

Coordinates 15L.

What do you think?

According to the tracking device, they
should be practically on top of you.

Maintain radio silence. He'll be right
there.

What happened to Unit 19?

Well, he really fouled it up didn't he

What

can I do

for you I would like to see something in
a foreign car Sorry, we only sell

American models.

Those are fine cars to me

We got a station wagon over here you
might like.

I hope you would have some security.

I had to see for myself, of course.

CalPOS, security investigation, Russia
Central.

And I don't think it's any secret that
we have the lowest cost per kill of any

major city in this hemisphere.

Congratulations.

Maybe you haven't heard about our new
mobile assault system.

I'm sure you've been telling me all
about it.

Uh, yeah.

In here, Mr. Prost.

We have 37 mobile assault systems and
units.

Covering the city 24 hours a day.

From this control center, we can
dispatch units to converge on any given

in a matter of minutes.

Where's your transmitter?

Two levels below. We have four
underground levels in all.

Garage, machine shop, sleeping quarters,
completely self -contained.

And your aerial?

Those flag lines serve as our antenna
system.

And this mobile force unit of yours is
effective?

We've had Uncle in the corner ever since
we perfected the system.

They'd give anything to know the
location of this headquarters, believe

believe you.

Mr. Kramer, I'm quite impressed.

Of course, I sure want to see your
books.

Oh, sure, sure.

You'll see how tight our budget is.
We're hoping for a higher appropriation

year. Aren't we all?

There's a call from Mr. Montgomery, sir.
He says it's an emergency.

An emergency?

Why, it's just routine.

A routine emergency?

Montgomery thinks everything's an
emergency.

Doesn't mean a thing.

That's a very attractive timepiece, Mr.
Kramer.

Yeah.

It's a gift.

You won't mind if I examine your
personal expense records?

No, no.

Honey, take Mr. Prost to my office.

Give him anything he wants.

This is Kramer.

You got the recorder?

I'm glad you asked me that question.

If you can find it soon, the clock's
crawling with rush.

I don't understand. I know I buried it
around here.

Can I help you dig?

No, no, no.

It's the one thing I can do well.

You see, I've tried everything.

I joined a key club, and I spent the
last of my savings on an exercise kit

stereo set.

I wear double -O underwear, and I gargle
three times a day.

I buy He -Man cigarettes, and I don't
even smoke.

I even tried leading a double life, only
to find both parts turned out dull.

But no matter what I do, I always wind
up as Sidney Morehouse.

What's wrong with that?

You really have to ask?

You shouldn't feel that way.

Why, I find you very, uh, cooperative.

Oh, really?

I think it still works.

Hello, Sidney. I bet you didn't think we
knew you buried us here.

It's Marvin.

Who's Marvin?

A rotten kid.

Well, it seems as though...

Marvin has erased the rest of the tape.

Well, I guess that does it.

Not quite.

You can still be of some service.

Do I have to?

It looks like one of Russia's mobile
units.

Here. When I dismantle this
communicator, this half becomes a homing

this a receiver.

What do I do with it?

Take that with this card to Uncle
Headquarters.

Since Thresh will probably take me to
their headquarters, our people can home

on me there.

It sounds dangerous.

That's my job.

I meant my going into Uncle
Headquarters. What if they don't believe

Just give this to Del Gloria.

It's in code, Sidney. Oh, okay. I'll
hurry.

There she is.

Alright, let's go.

I beg your pardon. I'm just a working
girl. What are you doing?

What do you want?

Come in.

These are the last of an office file.

Thank you very much.

That'll be all.

Oh, pardon me. I didn't know this room
was in use.

Obviously.

Haven't I seen you before?

I am Karl Prost, Security Investigation,
Thrush Central.

Really? It's very nice to have you here,
sir, if there's anything I can do for

you.

You can find another room in which to
interrogate those two prisoners.

Yes, yes, sir, of course.

This room does not even have a security
monitor.

I'm surprised you did not know that.
Yes, sir, so am I.

If you'll excuse me. Just one moment.

What is your name?

Montgomery John Lawrence, Section 8,
Class 4.

Montgomery.

Ah, yeah.

I will make sure your name appears in my
reports.

Oh.

April Dancer.

I can't play to other gentlemen.

I didn't see you come in.

Of course not.

Are you keeping something from me?

No, no. I was just going to call you.

How's your jaw?

It's all right, but it didn't hurt that
much.

Oh, he did have a weak right arm.

Well, for once in my life, I'm going to
do something right.

It's my fault we're in this spot, and
I'm going to get us out. Now, will you

me finish?

We'll tell them that I'm the uncle lady
and that you were just accidentally

involved. Now make them set you free.

Why not?

Because the room is monitored.

How about that, Sidney?

Send Montgomery in here.

What do you intend to do with the
prisoners?

Once we've interrogated them, they'll be
eliminated.

How?

Personally, I prefer drugs.

You lose a certain degree of personal
satisfaction, but these are impersonal

times. They definitely are.

I was just telling Mr. Post about the
uncle incident. What did you find on the

recorder? Almost all of the tape has
been erased, although communications

two of our signal impulses at the end of
the tape. This indicates that it is the

recorder we were looking for and not a
decoy.

Why are you staring at me?

You find my appearance odd?

Perhaps you have some bias against your
appearance.

Or a fear of authority?

Or a latent... I'm sure he meant nothing
disrespectful, did you, Montgomery?

Oh, no. No, of course not.

Very well.

I will take the file and the recorder.

Since everyone here seems to be acting
in a very peculiar manner...

I will take charge of the interrogation
myself.

Any objections?

None.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Let him have his fun. He can play around
with those two all he wants.

But I don't know what's the matter with
you. What are you staring at him for

like that?

There's something very familiar about
that man, Chief.

Take away the beard and the accent, and
he could be the uncle agent who

infiltrated my unit. Now, while he's
been tracing us down from one direction,

the girl has been tracing... Ah, shut
up, Montgomery.

Is it important to ascertain, Mr.
Kramer, whether you have revealed the

of your headquarters by bringing the
girl here?

No, I don't think so.

She was electronically screened before
we brought her in.

All her special equipment was removed.

Oh, how very sorrow of you.

Send the girl in.

Question, Miss Dancer?

Before you begin, there's something I'd
like to ask you.

I assume you are going to plead for the
life of this other gentleman.

You will assert that he is harmless and
should be released.

Something like that, yes.

My dear Miss Dancer, you uncle agents
are rather predictable.

Can't help be.

In fact, there is only one man in the
uncle who commands my greatest respect

admiration.

A brilliant young man.

Daring, thoughtful, bold, and quite
irresistible to women,

I have heard.

He is the most feared of all your
people.

The very mention of his name sends
shockwaves of terror through our

organization.

Perhaps... You know him.

Mark Slate.

Yes, I do.

You're absolutely correct.

Except for one thing.

He does a rather second -rate German
accent.

One last question.

How do you fancy me in a beard?

Judy had picked up something unusual in
the car lot, sir.

He'd been there for over an hour, and it
looks like he's more interested in our

office building than in any of the cars.

Probably nothing.

Have them keep an eye on him upstairs.
Put all stations on yellow alert for the

rest of the afternoon, just in case.

Kramer?

Yeah, you'd better come down here right
there. I discovered something very

significant. I'll be right there.

Here, take this. It's the only weapon
I've got.

I'll try not to lose it.

Sidney's next door in room R.

Fine. Look, I've filled the hypodermic
with water instead of the deadly serum.

Okay? You think about the thing, Doctor.

What's going on?

She cracked under my intensive
interrogation.

It seems, Mr. Kramer...

That she was part of a plan to penetrate
your headquarters after all. How?

Her hair.

Especially treated by a gamma ray
process.

Uncle can home in on its ultrasonic
frequency.

Then all those gadgets she was carrying
were just to throw us off.

There is no way you could have known.

Only her radiologist would know for
sure.

Then uncle may be on his way here right
now. We better get her out of here.

Precisely. The injection I have just
given her will cause her to expire

the next few minutes.

I suggest we take her body and the body
of her friend to the river.

Uncle can home in on them there.

I'll get the truck ready.

Yeah, good. I have to tell her the body.

See that I am not the...

I have no time for long explanations.

I'm an uncle agent, and I'm in this
building under false pretenses.

You, Miss Dancer, and I are going to
escape, provided you do exactly as I

Are you with me?

Where's April?

She's in the next room, room C. She's
all right.

What are you going to do with that?

I'm going to call the guard in here, and
when he comes in, I'm going to give you

a harmless shot. You just pretend to be
asleep, and I'll do the rest, right?

Guard!

entrance right away. Top priority, green
clearance.

All stations are red alert, red alert.

I always hate people who say I told you
so, Chief, but this man claims

that he's the security inspector from
Thrush Central.

You understand, sir, that I believe your
story, but it's not up to me.

Come on, Bob.

Steal up all the entrance to the
building, including the truck dock.

Double security, but do it quietly until
I find out which one is the ringer.

All stations, the following directives
go into effect.

LB2, 4, 5, 6, MN12, 13, 14.

Let's shoot our way out. No, wait a
minute, Sidney. Where's Mark?

Who? The man with the bad German accent.

You two have met, I presume?

Completely.

Come on.

Going

up.

Get him!

Right there.

Well, they won't take advantage of
pensioners again. Well, who asked you?

I almost had him stuck with my old car.
And get your hand off me.

That's far enough, Slate.

Drop your gun.

Now, the three of you move back here
very slowly.

Actually, I was rather hoping that you
would surrender to us, actually.

Don't press your luck, kid.

It isn't luck.

See that watch you're wearing?

It's mine, and it's a bomb, and I can
detonate it from here.

He tried that on me before, and
naturally I didn't fall for it.

You ready to duck?

You can't say I didn't warn him.

The other leg?

The other leg.

It's a dirty business, but we all take
our chances.

That's just an expression we accountants
use.

You'll be pleased to know that the fresh
New York operation has been completely

aborted. Well, that'll give us a
breathing space until they're

Yes, probably two or even three weeks.

Oh, uh, sir, if I may say so, I think
Mr. Slate deserves a departmental

commendation.

I agree.

Oh.

Well, if you'll excuse me.

Sidney Morehouse is waiting in my
office.

Well, if that's the way you feel about
it, I don't need you either.

What's the matter?

I've been automated.

Are you sure there's no mistake?

There was no mistake.

It was a recording.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm not.

I'm glad I lost that job.

I'll get another job somewhere.

From now on, I'm going to do all the
things I want to do.

Good for you, Sidney. That's the
attitude. And the first thing I'm going

is beat up Marvin.

Oh, Sidney.

Well, maybe that isn't the first thing
I'm going to do.

First, I'm going to get back my tinted
portrait from Natasha and give it to