All language subtitles for The Girl From UNCLE s01e10 The Paradise Lost Affair

Get me Thrice South Pacific.

Yes, sir.

Thrice South Pacific, sir.

Get out.

I'm waiting, Captain Stone.

Yes, sir.

We've just completed charting the
undersea lanes for the submarine

operations. The last sonar navigation
beacon is now in place.

Very good.

According to my calculations, we should
be able to run 30 cargo submarines a

week. Now, that's between Tokyo and
Macau, Melbourne and San Francisco.

Nice work, Captain.

Now, you get those charts to me as soon
as possible.

Yes, sir.

Had to relocate one of the beacons, sir.
Current was too strong.

All right, log it on the chart.

I'll feed this into the computer, sir.

Good.

Open channel D, please.

I'll go get the rumble started.

Right.

Yes, Miss Danza?

We've secured the chart, sir.

When can we expect...

As soon as we take over the ship, Agent
Slade is starting the mutiny now.

What is that infernal noise, Miss
Dancer?

It's the ship's officers, sir.

They're objecting to our mutiny.

April? April?

Miss Dancer?

Miss Dancer?

Mr. Slade?

That deuce could have gone wrong.

They've had that mutiny on their way for
a week now.

Miss Dancer?

Can you hear me?

Miss Dancer?

Operation Shark's Tooth, come in.

Operation Shark's Tooth, come in.

How am I going to explain this to Thrush
Central?

You know, you and I could wind up as
cabin boys if those charts fall into the

hands of Uncle.

Now you organize a party and get out
there and search that ocean area.

Gentlemen, we must keep those charts
from thrush.

Submarine smuggling operation of the
size they planned would destroy normal

commerce between the United States,
Australia, and the whole of the Orient.

Please have your search units cover the
ocean area.

All right.

This flaming court is about to go into
session.

Genghis Komar is the eighth presiding.

Hey, Genghis, he's a condemned man.

How many times I have to tell you for
the hypocritical Lord Liverpool Henry,

He's a nice fellow.

He's no... He's no condemned.

First, he gets you fair trial.

Then the boys will give it to him.

And is this place worthy defense
counsel?

I'm telling you, the dirty rat's as
guilty as sin.

For time being, Liverpool, you shut him
up, eh? Okay.

How you plead, eh?

Guilty. See?

Unbelievable. Charlie,

you talk too much. Open your mouth
again. Contempt of court. You get the

the day there.

Okay, President.

Where is the evidence?

Oh, down the crowd, Genghis. You know
there ain't no flaming evidence.

It's all out underneath that flaming hot
lava down in Hell's Kitchen.

Six of your ever -loving liars subjects,
Genghis. The last six able -bodied men

on the island.

that you trespass on my island.

Trespass? I was shipwrecked. I floated
ashore.

Ignorance of law, no excuse, sir. You
tell me you's engineers, no?

I said diesel engineers.

Engineers is engineers, sir. You build
the bridges, no?

I simply ask you build the bridge across
hot lava bed to mango grove. I did my

best. Your best brick in the middle put
six loyal best mango pickers in hot lava

bed.

Okay. Got to close the shop.

Let the punishment fit the crime.

Trespasser?

Trespasser?

Listen, I didn't mean to break any laws,
and I'd be very happy to leave.

Just flag me a boat, wire a seaplane, or
build a raft, anything.

Shh.

Did I break any more laws?

Three of them, my dear.

Nobody leaves paradise or thinks about
where to do it.

Genghis scared someone leave paradise,
bring back civilization, spoil us

natives. Well, now, more to the point.

Civilization would send back a South Sea
magistrate so fast, and with a fistful

of old charges, that would spoil
Genghis.

And you don't want that, do you?

Oh, no.

No.

Genghis, old chap.

How would you like to hear a flame and
bright idea?

Speak, Matt. I take you.

You've got yourself four lovely wives.
You have.

Me? Now, what have I got?

Madame Chop -Chop.

Exactly me point.

Now, suppose that I...

This has got to be a nightmare.

Hey, you very lucky girl. Make Liverpool
anyway very nice wife.

That's what you think.

Oh, by the way, Chappies, it's been
quite some time since the last wedding,

I think I'd better refresh your
etiquette.

Basic rule number one, everybody cries
at a wedding.

Rule number two, nobody kisses the bride
or else Liverpool and they break

your butt. Rule number three, everyone's
down when the bride appears.

Rule number four, you can all sit down
and relax. There is no bride.

It's not for trespasser play hard to
get.

Well, you'll just have to think up
another sentence.

Genghis Gomez VIII, hot lava starvation,
name the poison.

I already agree.

She flaming bright idea.

Him not only loyal subject deserve
reward, but Liverpool Henry hit

for any crime.

What are we waiting on, Genghis?

Why don't we get stuck into the blooming
ceremonials?

Why not?

We have a ceremonial. Okay.

Okay.

Now, dearly beloveds, and I pronounce
you...

Are you crazy enough to object to
Liverpool energy?

I am.

Mark!

Oh, you don't know how glad I am to see
you.

Looks like we have epidemics of
trespassers.

You don't know what almost happened to
me.

Well, it was nothing, really.

I mean, the whole thing is quite
revolting, and I'd never let you marry a

like that.

Big fish, Charlie.

Explain to trespassing friend rule
number five.

I come to wish you a hail and a
farewell.

Rule number five.

Anybody objecting must fight the groom.

To the death.

And the survivor gets the lady.

That suits us fine.

Dear old man.

Delighted. On closer inspection, April,
don't you think you're rather making a

mountain out of a molehill?

Mark, are you all right?

You look quite pale.

It's a funny thing, April.

Did I ever tell you about my Uncle
Heathcliff?

He made a very abrasive first impression
on the family.

In fact, we thought he was the most
repulsive bloke we'd ever seen.

But we grew to love him.

Mark, what are you trying to say?

Don't you think you're being a little
hard on the poor chap? I mean, you might

grow to love him in time.

Mark!

When there's so much outside, you'd
think that the inner man might be worth

reaching. Well, I tell you what.

After you tear him apart, we'll have a
look, all right?

He's ready, whatever you are.

This time, trespassing friend.

Pick his own punishment.

Liverpool Henry, go kill him.

You don't know how to open a can of
beans.

Mark, all he has is muscle.

But you have right on your side.

Yeah, so did the martyrs when they threw
him to the lions.

All right.

If you won't fight him, I will.

All right. Watch out for low punches.

Mark!

There's not much point in arguing. Give
me your lipstick. I've done it.

I lost it. You used a little comb.

Oh, we've got that.

Perfume atomizer.

Sorry. Gun? No.

I'm defenseless.

You've still got your karate.

Oh, big deal.

Wait! I'm glad someone could see reason.

Madame Chop -Chop, take bride to bridal
hut to wait for surviving groom.

Mark!

Listen, on second thought, I don't want
you getting hurt just for me.

It's okay with me if you tell them you
were only kidding.

Yeah, well, you wait in that hut. I've
still got my karate.

I think it's only fair to warn you that
I'm a black belt.

Don't make me mad.

Hey bro, I think I'll try an apology.

All search units report negative
results, sir.

Oh, it's disgusting.

30 cargo submarines loaded with a
fortune encounter van tied to the docks.

We've got to get those charts.

Our aerial reconnaissance has
photographed several fishing boats in

area.

Obviously, fresh camouflage units.

Of course, it means that they haven't
found the charts yet either.

Oh, gentlemen, you must redouble your
efforts.

It's a matter of life and death that we
beat them to those charts.

The dancer?

Mr. Slate?

Can you hear me?

kangaroo down.

Get him.

I'll tell you what I'll do, sport.

Here's me jaw.

I'll give you one free bash just before
I kills you.

Did you find that one?

Well, love, as your new groom, I will go
out and make my demand.

Glass jaw.

You survivor, you win her.

Exactly. Now, when does the honeymoon
start, and how can we get a boat out of

here?

You widow, no need no honeymoons. First
you make a trespass, now you make

escape. That's two times we gonna kill
you.

Oh, he didn't mean escape, Genghis.

He just meant that there's nothing for
him to do around here.

That's three times we gonna kill him. On
Lost Paradise, everybody must be

useful. Thanks for your help.

Mark is very useful.

What's so useful about breaking glass
jaw, eh? Oh, that's just a sideline.

Ah, we don't need no sidelines neither.
Engineer, he call a bridge a sideline.

And he bury my best mango pecan in hot
lava.

Bridges?

Stinky little bridges over hot lava bed.

Mark doesn't know a thing about building
bridges.

Do you, Mark?

Ah, this is no time for false modesty.
Are you familiar with, um, Oakland Bay?

Royal Gorge?

Sydney Harbour?

Yes, dear, but you didn't build those
over a bed of hot lava.

Oh.

Liverpool only says it's a flaming
bright idea.

You's gonna build the bridges.

Come on, Horatio.

What's so flame and bright about giving
me bride away?

What about my reward for loyalty?

Nothing from bridges. What do you know
from bridges?

When he build a bridge, he build a
bridge and the bridge make a... Then you

back a bride.

A happy group like that can't be all
bad.

You can't build a bridge.

How do I know? I've never tried.

Well, do me a favor. If at first you
don't succeed, don't plan on try -try

again. That is a bottomless mud bath.

Well, look on the bright side, love. I'm
buying us time.

I'm going to try and get us off the
island, and you find a way to get a

out. What do you suggest?

Throw a bottle into the sea?

That's a start.

Mr. Engineer, we is waiting.

We won't start bridges now!

Well, Frank Lloyd Wright, I hope you
have your degree in erectus sense.

Jolly good.

Well, it looks fairly simple.

We'll need some heavy ropes.

Well, now.

As you can see, old chap, in lost
paradise, there's enough rope.

Even enough to hang a man with.

Three blind mice.

Three blind mice.

See how they...

Some

dirty, filthy,

stinking, guilty rat is to break my
glockenspiel.

Bottles, it is more tougher than the
watches, more scarce.

Ten years a scrimp, a scraver to build
the three blind mice.

Last time a thief hijacked a bottle to
put a knot in the sea.

Lucky for me, the evening tide always
washed in plenty of mice.

Somebody gonna get it.

And Lord loved it. if it's anything like
last time.

Drawn and quartered and boiled in oil
would be a tolerable flaming ending by

comparison. Just for one empty gin
bottle?

Poor bloke. He didn't have one single
solitary framing friend to help him in

hour of need, he didn't.

Not like you have, ducks.

You smile, eh?

Three blind mice.

Three blind mice.

See how they... Run.

That's good.

See...

Thank you.

Do you think you could steal something
from Slushworth millions and live?

Where are they? Where are they?

Miracle Henry.

My apologies.

You're the last person in the world
who'd ever have called upon for help.

Blimey, matey.

Evil to them is evil things.

So right.

Wouldn't you know it.

Now, let's have them flame and chart
what's worth millions.

Plans for pirate treasure?

Pearl beds?

Diamond mines?

Better than that, Henry.

A smuggler's dream.

A golden ocean of contraband.

Lord, love a duck.

Partners, Henry?

Partners. You and me.

You and me in April.

Oh, what have we got to cut her in for?

She's got the charts.

She's in.

Uh -oh.

What's the matter?

Oh, it was me flaming loyalty to that
Genghis.

When she refused me love and friendship,
I turned her and that crummy bottle in.

hand with him, will you? Right.

Look who volunteered to take your place
at Bedford.

Who's still?

Get the chance. You, me, and our partner
is leaving.

Partner?

What happened to your flaming loyalty to
your flaming leader?

What? Loyalty to that?

Every flaming night.

Two, three, four o 'clock in the
morning, he gets an urge to play that

glockenspiel. Stone the crows, I've got
three blind mice running out of my ears.

You see, April, Liverpool Henry wasn't
born mean. He was driven to it.

How right you are, matey.

The chance.

Partner or no partner?

Oh, Miss Lowry. Yes, sir?

I want you to prepare a eulogy of some
kind by way of memorial to Miss Dancer

and Mr. Slate.

Is it really true, Mr. Waverly?

Yes, I'm afraid so.

It's all very sad.

a musical heart.

I snagged them for you.

Is that right?

Partner, don't tell me I fooled you too,
Genghis.

You no fool of me.

You snagged him to gratis.

Oh, how can you say a thing like that to
the bloke what brought back the bottle

for your glockenspiel?

Hey, well, look what you done for me
lately.

Oh, I knew you'd appreciate it, Genghis.

These blokes have got charts that are
worth flaming millions.

And I've been fooling them along just to
get those charts and bring them back to

you, Genghis.

Now, how's that for fair?

Next time you pick a partner, try
Benedict Arnold.

Those charts are worth millions,
Genghis.

It's a thrash.

No.

To you.

That is, if you help us get them back to
Uncle.

Uncle.

United Network Command for Law
Enforcement.

U -N -C -L -E.

Use his dirty cup.

That's right, I will endear us to him.
You and me think the same way about

Genghis. Now get me and these charts
back to thrash.

And you can write your own ticket for
the payoff.

Some payoffs, you betcha.

You want to put my island on the map,
eh?

You want to bring a plenty trespassing
sheriffs and magistrates and hang a poor

Genghis and then all of my good justice
go down the drain?

Me do away with plenty temptations for
loyal subjects.

Genghis, don't!

Now you've done it.

He ain't done nothing to me.

I got those charts right here.

Every beacon we laid, every current,
every shore.

You got your plenty on healthy heads, my
friend.

These dirty double guilty fellows
already catch a prize.

She's in most trouble.

She go fast.

How big?

Little enough to loot old choppy.

No more time for execution.

Can't see. Ain't no need to see. I know
them proceedings by heart.

A feast for sore eyes and an ambush for
sore heads.

That's piracy.

Yeah, ain't it, though?

How do you think we keep ourselves so
supplied in flaming goodies?

This is very Southern April.

Untie me.

Okay.

captain quick are

you the captain

you went ashore with a landing party uh
well now listen i know we don't look but

uh we're uncle agents you better believe
us oh i do

What's this?

Who are they?

The uncle agents from Operation Shark's
Tooth.

So there were survivors.

These two are enemies.

You should tell him me.

Believe me, Genghis, we're the lesser of
the two evils. That man is from Thrush.

Take him.

Genghis Khan!

Genghis Khan's got a chance.

We can't let those thrushmen get a hold
of Stone.

enough trouble without you.

I'm waiting.

No, no. We spread.

Like he says.

Who was right?

Them's bad peoples.

All right, you can give us a hand with
him.

Okay.

What happened to those two agents from
Uncle?

You men search the jungle.

Why don't you help me search the huts?

And who are you?

Break his gag.

Your flaming friend and partner, that's
who.

All right, I'm going to tie his hand.

One gun, two machetes, and one prisoner
against the whole thrush arsenal.

Man, could we use a secret weapon right
now?

We've got it, love.

Built in.

Your bridge.

You've got a blooming nerve you have
calling me partner.

I got her, mateys!

Where's Captain Stone?

Quit stalling. Don't shoot!

I know when I'm beaten. I can see.

Let's go.

Now it's Captain Stone, all right.

Come on.

Now, love.

Yeah.

This... This is a sad, sad day for us
here at Uncle.

Agents Danston and Slate have left a
hole in our ranks that will be hard to

fill.

It's at moments like this, when it's too
late, that we wish we'd been more

appreciative, less critical, and more
understanding of human foibles.

For myself, I only lament that I was
never vouchsafed the opportunity of

them how much I valued their services.

Mr. Waverly.

Sir, it's Agents Dancer and Slate.
They've been shipwrecked.

Shipwrecked? Where?

Acapulco, sir.

I couldn't help it, sir. We were
shipwrecked near here.

Where have you been?

Tell him where we've been.

In paradise, sir.

But we promised not to tell where it is.
That was part of the deal we made to

get out of there.

Shipwrecked?

An Acapulco in paradise?

You haven't much imagination, either of
you, I must say.

That's the flimsiest excuse for fumbling
dereliction I ever heard.

But, sir, we have Captain Stone in the
local clink, and he's willing

to give Uncle the information that was
on the chart.

Oh, I'm tired of your story.

Report back here at once.

I've a few choice words to say to both
of you.

What's he saying?

Nothing.

Sounds like he's tearing a paper.