Original subtitles

BERT YAWNS

Mom? Ed?

ALL: Happy birthday!

HORNS BLOW

They made me do it.

Looks good...ish.

I'm staying ten forever.

But, honey, we've got presents.

I don't want them. Birthday waffles?!

Nah. Cake?

No, thanks. You love cake!

I'll just have some "Heavy Flow Fibre"

and head for a scoot to the park

like the regular day it is.

Sure. See you.

Yeah, I was afraid this might happen.

He promised he'd move out of Castle Fort-A-Lot when he turned 11.

He was going to be ten - double digits and all -

but he gave himself another year.

So...here we are.

Maybe the epic surprise party that we planned

at Bowlarama is a bad idea.

He'll come around.

Some encouragement from you wouldn't hurt, darling.

Got a better idea!

ECHOING: I brought the Spookies here in the first place.

I'm the evil, Spooky genius...

BUZZING

Xen, we've got a problem!

Bert's acting super weird. Doesn't want a birthday...at all!

Are we really doing gate talk? Yes.

If Bert could stay ten permanently, he would.

Tell you what is permanent -

the money Dad put down at Bowlarama for Bert's party.

I need your help to get him there by 1pm sharp.

I'm unavailable. How are you not wanting to help right now?!

It's Bert! Billie, I don't have the bandwidth today. Why?

Circumstances beyond my control. Xena, vague looks weird on you.

One could say the same about your bullish insistence.

Hey. Hey.

All set for Bert's surprise? I'm pumped!

Well, put the pump down because we've got problems.

Bert hates birthdays. No way.

Bert's arcade party last year rocked.

And the rock climbing one the year before.

The go-karting one... But this year, age averse.

Growing up can be tough.

Wait, where is Bert? Park, pretending it's NOT his birthday.

I hope Xen finds the evil genius.

Anyone heard from her?

She's...catching up soon.

Hey, I was thinking - how good are birthdays?

Eh, not that good. Pretty good!

We should have some sort of celebration,

like, with other people. And presents.

Nah, I got everything I need.

What the...?!

New Sunny Valley park art? Since when?

Placement's a little avant-garde.

Love the green. Pop art vibes. BILLIE SCOFFS

What? I read. OK.

Oh, man, my Bert-stinct's pinging!

I smell a Spooky. I smell creativity from a local artist

commenting on how a sedentary lifestyle is making us frozen

in a concrete jungle.

What? I art.

Nice. Art's cool!

No-one...move!

This thing is cree-py!

That's got to be a Spooky.

A-a-a-a-argh!

What are you doing? My karate moves.

Shapooly! THAT'S never worked before!

You catch it, D-Train. Ooh!

Ooh, I need to up the cardio!

Ooh!

That cap...

Listen up. We can do this the easy way,

or we can do it the hard way.

Your choice.

BEEPING AND WHIRRING

Hard way, huh? ZAP!

That's not good.

BEEPING ZAP!

BERT IN DISTANCE: D-Train!

D-Burger! Derek!

Where are you?!

BILLIE GASPS

Careful! Derek, quit playing.

This is the evilest Spooky ever.

What if this IS the evil, Spooky genius behind everything?

EERIE MUSIC, BILLIE GASPS

Don't move.

It's hunting us. We've got to catch it.

What about D-Train? I don't want to leave him either.

We can't move him. What if we break him?

I'll be back, D-Train.

What has this Spooky done to you?

I'll fix this, OK?

John, you increased the slushy price? And bowling. And balloons.

Also increased the salt level on the chips so the kids buy more slushies.

Tubular! ETA on the cash-cow kid? Ahem! We mean "birthday boy"!

About an hour.

He'll be here. Billie's onto it.

Jon, do you remember our 11th birthday party?

Wait, you two have the same birthday as each other?

Yeah. We're twins. Identical.

Jon's significantly older than me, though.

By two years. The maturity shows. As does my youth. Debatable.

Anyhow, for our 11th birthday...

BOTH: ..we got matching sunnies.

Yeah. They're still on-trend.

CRASH!

I have so many questions. SOFTLY: Yeah.

It's coming

You know, the Spooky seems kind of familiar.

The way he moves. That Ghost Smasher hoodie.

That hat. I have a bad feeling about this.

That doesn't look good! Your karate's worse.

Not that. THAT!

What was that?

Shh!

BERT AND BILLIE EXHALE LOUDLY

Whoa! Argh.

Ooh. OK, so,

if Faceless Spooky flashes its eye thingy at you,

you're done for! Solid theory.

Keep your distance. Dodge the flash.

Quick! It's getting away! Do this now!

No way!

Bert!

Fast, Bill, we got to catch it!

It's gone around the corner!

I'm sure it's this way!

Bert, Stop. Stop!

We've lost it.

Reckon I know how we can get it back, though.

Look at this.

My handmade superpower Ghost Smasher card? The Spooky dropped it.

It's exactly the same as yours, but older. How?

I think you and this thing are connected somehow.

The bad karate, the cap, the hoodie and the Ghost Smasher card.

As if! My karate rocks.

Yeah, sure it does.

We need Xen and the Spooky Detector right now!

Or this Spooky might zap the home of Sunny Valley.

Xen is...busy.

Too busy for a Spooky hunt? No way! Let's go.

All Spookies lead to my house?

Ten points for persistence today.

And Bert.

How did you get past the security gates? Phil let me in.

Why aren't you answering your phone?

You cannot come in!

The floors are being polished. SHOUTS: Phil, is that true?!

OVER INTERCOM: Truth is relative. But no, not true.

Xen, the Spooky Crew's in trouble. How so?

Some evil new Spooky's...

..on the loose, turning peeps into statues.

Like, what's her name?

The snake head.

Medusa?! My favourite Greek myth.

A clunky appropriation, but, yes.

It's the worst Spooky ever.

It got Derek.

Oh, my.

Update me.

Based on your concerning updates,

we will need to be locked and loaded.

These should protect our eyes from the Spooky's flash. Cool!

And this should help us turn the Spooky's power back on itself.

Statues are spooky! But where'd you even get that?

A gift from Robina.

How do we move a Spooky statue?

Before embarking on the Medusa Mirror Mission,

we must lure it to Spooky HQ. And when we get to Bowlarama?

Um...just sneak the Spooky past the Johns!

And anyone else who's there?

There's no other way.

You got the Spooky Detector? It's...having power problems.

It will need to be used sparingly. Only in crisis situations.

Xen! This is MEGA crisis mode!

Which way?

SPOOKY DETECTOR BEEPS

That way.

It's around here.

The similarities to Bert are uncanny. Are not!

Let's do this.

OK. Engage Spooky eye protection!

Operation Lure Spooky to HQ is a go!

What are we going to use as bait?

This.

No way! This is precious!

Exactly.

I'm telling you, that thing is grown-up future you.

Future Bert. Nah, that would mean I'M the evil genius.

I can't be a goodie AND a baddie...

..can I?

Bert, you love this card.

If Billie's theory is correct,

that means that future Bert will love it too.

Only one way to find out.

BEEPING

It's working.

Doesn't mean anything. Everyone loves ghost smasher cards.

Move, people!

It's taken the bait! HQ, now!

It's still following.

What is the plan when we get to Bowlarama?

What if we're not alone?

Dudes, it's Bowlarama. As if anyone's going to be there.

Plus, you just...walk freaky no face straight in.

And what about the Johns? What if they get zapped? Hmm.

Bert, you have to go in first. Solo. Distract the Johns

while Xena and I take the Spooky down to HQ.

Sweet. Catch you!

I fear Bert's going to be very cross when he realises what we've done.

Sending him as a decoy to his own surprise party?

Yeah, he's totally going to crack it.

It's the thought that counts.

What the...?

ALL: SURPRISE!

Happy birthday! Happy birthday! Bert, darling!

You're early! Look, everybody, the birthday boy's here!

THEY CHEER

Hope you're hungry because I may have baked the best cake ever.

11 candles, great.

Let's get these candles lit.

We need some napkins. I'll get them.

Happy b-day, Bert.

Make a wish, Bertie Bear!

CHEERING

ZAP!

I'll make this better, Mama Bear. I promise.

No-one messes with my fam-bam! Come and get it!

Think, Bert, think.

Not slushy time!

Wait...it is!

Hey, handsome.

Berry Cola? It's my fave.

My Bert-mark?!

Far out! You really ARE me!

Come with me, Future Bert.

FUTURE BERT SLURPS

I'll need these.

I've got the napkins!

I was going to fold them into lotus flowers, but...

EERIE MUSIC

EERIE MUSIC CONTINUES

Trust me, you're safer in here.

I know what you're doing.

You're freezing peeps

because you want to keep things...the same.

But change doesn't have to be bad.

It can be rad.

So, from this birthday on, I'm saying "yes" to getting older.

Listen to me, me!

I was going to freeze you with these.

But if I were you - and I kind of am -

I'd want a shot at bringing my fam-bam back first.

Can you do that?

SMASH! ZAP!

ALL: Oh!

Thanks, me.

Just in case.

Bert, darling! Bert, where were you?

I...had to whizz! Did you see what just happened?

With what? Are we OK?

It's like there was some lightning in here or something?

Birthday hug, Mama?

I've been thinking. Oh, yeah?

Bring on being 11!

I'll always be a kid.

Even when I'm not.

Like them!

Yeah, yeah, but we need to talk about what just...

DEREK: Am I in time for cake?

D-Train! Cake! Yes! And can we lend a hand? ED: Sure thing.

Billie?

Thanks for joining, poop boy! Huh?

Bird poop.

Oh, thanks.

Told you I'd fix it. Huh?

Napkin? Do I have cake face?

No. But one can never be too careful

when eating a cake with no spoon.

Are you sure there's nothing on me? Check for yourself.

Do you always carry this around with you?

I call it my Medusa Mirror.

It is a much more thoughtful gift than I had anticipated.

I'm glad.

Now you have cake face.

What were you watching?

It was nothing. Ha...

Thanks for your service, Castle Fort-A-Lot.

You've been real.

But it's time I let you go.

TRUMPET PLAYS ONE NOTE

Spooky Crew for life!

Nah, Spooky fam-bam for life.

Thanks for making my birthday super awesome sauce.

Well, thanks for convincing future you to fix us all.

I don't think he WAS future me.

Here we go again. No, hear me out.

I mean, I think he was the me I was afraid of becoming.

One with no face? No.

Like, old...and out of Castle Fort-A-Lot. Interesting.

At least this means I'm not the evil genius. As far as we know!

Don't!

When I thought you guys were going to be green-faced forever,

I was really scared.

ECHOING: Imagine being responsible for all of that.

Bert! It wasn't you.

I know. But still...

Stop! I'm wracked with guilt.

I cannot take it another second.

I've been hiding something. Something bad.

No, something utterly catastrophic.

This is all my fault.

All of this.

What?

I am the evil genius.

BERT AND DEREK GASP What?!

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