All language subtitles for Secrets.of.the.Celebrity.Sex.Tapes.S01E05.Farrah.Abraham.1080p.HULU.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-RAWR_track3_[eng]

- Farrah Abraham.
- Stand by.

Mark.

When I look at--
at the end of my life,

the only thing
I would ever regret

would be I just followed along.
I just did what everyone did.

Farrah Abraham is kind of
a complex character.

She is a former reality star.

And if that's a bitchy comment,

you should
probably hold it back.

To love Farrah
is to know Farrah,

and most of y'all
don't love her,

so you don't really know her
and, uh, give her a chance.

No, I don't have
respect for her in the way

that she made a sex tape, yes,
and she...

I mean, she made one.

You know, seeing her
as a young girl

have tremendous stressors

in her home environment,
and she was acting out.

And then you guys
can go eat [bleep].

- I'll just talk about it.
- All right, I gotta go.

When Farrah's sex tape was
"leaked," it was a big deal.

Why--Why did you make the tape?

For me to be happy for myself
and my own privacy.

Farrah Abraham,
who was the Teen Mom,

came out in the era of
"I'm going to go now to Vivid,"

meet with Steve,
and make a deal.

Who goes to a porn star

and makes their own
benefit tape?

Trauma is a huge factor
for a lot of women

who have had
sex tapes released.

I don't know if fame
was what she needed,

but it--it certainly had
an effect on her.

The animal that reality TV made
is my daughter.

I ask myself sometimes
every day,

why did my sex tape happen?

- How does it feel?
- Feels good.

Okay.

I'm Farrah Abraham,

and many of you might know me

from, um, a franchise
I was a part of--

"16 and Pregnant"
and "Teen Mom."

Going into the first episode
of "16 and Pregnant,"

what did I expect it to be like?

I envisioned, like,
everything working out.

Farrah was one of the girls.

She was one of the original
group of "16 and Pregnant."

"16 and Pregnant"
premiered in 2009,

and that show ended up becoming
this wildly popular hit for MTV.

It was supposed to show

the difficulties that teenage
mothers face in their lives.

The thing that made Farrah
kind of iconic

on her season
of "16 and Pregnant"

was that she was a cheerleader.

So, there's the image
of this high school girl

walking around school
in her cheerleading outfit

with this little bump.

So, yes.

I didn't stick to the plan
of waiting till marriage,

I'll tell you that.

Growing up in Iowa...

I was really ingrained, like,

"Wait till you're married
before you have sex."

We went to church,

and Christianity was
pretty much in our life.

My parents in public school,
when there were sex ed days,

they would take me
out of sex education.

Oh, what you want to know
about is sexual intercourse.

Well, that happens like this.

They did not want me to hear
about that or be around that.

It's like sex is bad.
I was shamed for having sex.

Shame, shame, shame
all the time on that.

I was taught about sex,
probably learning

through the wrong ways of, like,

boys and girls
in my Catholic school,

and I was really
the late bloomer in my classes.

So, when it came to dating boys,

I was probably
the last one, too.

I met my daughter's father
while I'm in high school.

By all means, I used to claim,

like, that was
the love of my life.

Like, I might get
overwhelmed with emotion,

but to be honest with you,

I didn't even know
what love was then.

I definitely, um...
was at cheer camp,

and, like,
only one drop of blood hit the--

I know it doesn't sound--
This is too much information.

My six-pack
is changing on my body.

Like, there's definitely, like,
some weird "V" that's happening.

I'm, like, worried.
So, yeah, I went--

I had my, uh, friend
from school.

She took me
to Planned Parenthood,

and I found out
that I was pregnant

even though I was religiously

taking birth control
from Planned Parenthood.

And so I tell my mom
what's real, what's happening.

I've been a good girl.
I've been good girl central.

But you know what?

Being good girl central didn't
make the perfect outcome,

and I didn't get
the relationship I wanted.

He died, so...

So, perfect
and good girl doesn't work.

The father of her daughter
died while she was pregnant.

I think she was, like,
just about to give birth.

Derek got in a car accident,
passed away.

It was like, two months
before Sophia was born.

It was a weekend after
Christmas, so it's pretty hard.

We talked about... like, moving

or going and living with his dad
in Kansas City.

It's just, like, teenagers
who come together

out of really hurt families

and just wanna move forward,
and, like,

life's gonna be great for us.

I'm trying to graduate
out of high school early.

I'm trying to get
more college credits

before I have my child.

I don't know what I'm gonna
look like being a mom.

Like, I don't know,
but I'm doing that.

You know, just like,
when she had Sophia,

everything had to be filmed.

We had, uh, attorneys
from MTV, our attorney,

attorney from the hospital,
the film crew there.

I gotta get to this mindset.

Don't think about anything else
except just kind of pushing.

I was, like, lost.

But I just thought, like,
everything's gonna work out.

I would just tell myself this.

Everything's gonna work out.

Okay? And that's what I thought,
and it never happened.

You watched
the four of us become moms

on "16 and Pregnant."

But giving birth
is only the beginning.

And our stories
continue now on "Teen Mom."

"Teen Mom" was obviously shot

during one of the most stressful
times in Farrah's life.

She gave birth.
She became a new mom.

Like, the level of stress
is enormous.

And to top it off, she's having
these altercations with her mom.

Debra has been pretty strong,

um, and I'm--well,

you know, I'm trying to be
fair to Debra, but, uh...

Debra would get physical on 'em

coup--you know, a couple times.
Yep.

Don't talk to me anymore.

I have had enough
of your belligerent...

- No, I don't care.
- ...antichrist attitude.

Oh. Too bad, because--

- I've had enough!
- Um, I'm--

I mean it!

My parents really just
didn't know how to parent.

Her mother was arrested by cops.

She had two knives in her hand
after hitting Farrah,

making her bleed.

I would definitely
say my mom and my dad,

they really were like...

"I'm gonna use Farrah
as the ping pong ball,"

"feel bad for me" arguments.

They were getting stimulated
by all their negativity

and putting me
in the middle of it.

We kind of watched Farrah
become a person

shaped on those experiences.

People have no idea
the level of intimidation

that I felt within my family.

When I first started television,

I was in, like,
serious depression,

like, why don't you go take
a walk?

Why don't you just go
someplace else?

As time went on, Farrah became
kind of a hostile personality.

You being here is not
like a happy, fun time.

Farrah was always
exceedingly difficult.

It's the nature
of mental health issues.

Wow. [bleep]
Open up your ears and understand

and listen to what I'm saying.

It's not a cognitive thing.
It's an emotional condition.

In some of her choices,

uh, there was a lot of chaos.

There was a lot of chaos
in her life.

So, let's watch her suffer,
and let's record it.

And then once they started
getting kind of famous,

they were on the cover
of "In Touch" and "US Weekly,"

and it didn't seem healthy
for them.

I mean, by any means,

like, everyone thought,
like, I was wealthy.

I had so much on the outside.

Everybody thinks
you're a multi-millionaire.

Be realistic. Reality TV--
you don't make too much money.

Kind of seemed like she was
maybe having money issues.

It got to this point where

Farrah was wanting
to do other stuff.

She was, like, doing kind of
skimpier and skimpier modeling.

And then I saw that
she was in this magazine,

"Girls and Corpses."

No, no one was around me
to prepare me for what fame is.

So, if you wanna be a celebrity,

you wanna be
a top Googled female,

you wanna be a [bleep]
powerhouse female,

you just let yourself
be emotionally dysfunctional.

That's set up for success.

In Hollywood, celebrities
are constantly

trying to figure out,
"how do I stay relevant?"

So sometimes people
get really bad advice

about things
that they should do in order

to stay in the minds of people
or in order to make headlines.

There was a lot. You know,
when you're hating sex,

but sex makes you feel better,

there's a lot of, like,
I haven't had sex in so long.

I got a call from Farrah.
I go, "Hey, what's up?"

She said, "Hey, Dad."

Yeah, I don't know how
I'm gonna say this, so...

She says, "Well,
I'm gonna give you a heads up."

I'm just being hon--

like, I don't know what's gonna
come out of my mouth, but...

"I did a--I did a sex tape."

I ask myself
sometimes every day,

why did my sex tape happen?

It's just blown up
into something

that I could have never
planned for.

- Sure.
- Great, so...

Are you comfortable
talking about it?

I am.

I was trying
to figure out celebrity.

When I was
in a very vulnerable state,

I decided to let
a manager start...

Yeah.
All these managers and agents--

they love to just make money
off of other people.

She was so manipulative
and so good at taking advantage

of a vulnerable, young, weak,
broken, depressed single mom,

like, all the things that I was

and wanting to act like
she could become my mom

because my mom
was really not present.

I didn't know that she was
a failed porn star.

Gina Rodriguez
is the person that got

my daughter involved in
the adult industry, I believe.

People started telling me that,

"There's a girl
that's selling us stories.

She's the female K.B.

You gotta meet her.
Her name is Gina Rodriguez."

I'm like, I don't think
I know this woman.

She went by a name
called "Demi Delia."

That was her porn name.

Gina Rodriguez is a person
that I have a storied past with.

Oh, God.
I'm trying to be so diplomatic.

It's so hard.

So, Gina gets her fingers

into these little stories
and these people.

Her job is to turn 15 minutes
into 20 minutes as well.

She's going for people
who are down and out,

don't have a lot of options,

have a little bit of notoriety
to them

that she can do
something with.

I don't know why it was so funny
and, like, fun and light-hearted

at the time with a manager,

but she said,
"You can record it, Farrah,

and, like, if you ever need it

or, like, you're having
a downtime, like you have it."

It is very common
for agents or managers

to give people
really bad advice.

"Well, if you do
this sex tape,

or if you do
this magazine cover,

or if you take off your clothes
for this role,

we'll make a lot of money."

I wasn't feeling good
about my body at the time.

I also had, like,
body dysmorphia

really bad at that time.

But yeah, I was
a sad, sad person

who really just wanted some,
like, touch,

human love, feeling worthy.

Like, I have to tell you
what this feels like

because some people
are not gonna know.

Some people are never
gonna be at a trauma center.

Some people are never
gonna understand

what it's like to just be like,
I want, like,

I want relief from my life.

Can I do it in a guilt-free way?

And, like, I can't have
any real relationships.

It's really hard being
a celebrity and dating.

There's guilt around sex.

So my guilt-free choice
to have sex

was with a porn star because
they consent to having sex.

That's what they do every day.

So, it's not bad that I'm
having sex with a porn star.

Yeah, I can
just call a porn star

and [bleep] this person
and, like, move on with my life.

James Deen was a porn star.

He was like the hot guy in porn
for girls because he wasn't like

the typical big, like, beefy,
muscly porn star.

He was just like
a guy next door.

He had a lot of success
from, like,

maybe the mid-2000s
up until 2015,

when it was alleged
that he had sexually assaulted

many women in the industry.

But he was huge at the time.

So, I'm in Austin, Texas,
working for a tech company.

About 9:00, I take a break.

I get a call from Farrah.

She says, "Well, there's
this lady. She's my manager.

Gina Rodriguez is
gonna be calling you."

I go, "Oh, really? You got
a manager?" That was new.

She said, "Well, I'm gonna
give you a heads up.

I did a--I did a sex tape."

I go, "Really? Okay."

So, I go, "Farrah, you know,
I'm here for you. Um...

To be honest, I'm surprised,
a little shocked,

uh, but I appreciate you
calling me

and giving me heads up.

I love ya."

Honestly, I was in disgust.

The less I asked,
the better I would feel.

I don't know
what days they filmed.

I don't know anything.

You know, I didn't even know
if she was dating him or what.

I mean, Farrah kept that
all away from us.

I'm sure it was TMZ.
They put it out there first

that Farrah, like,
had a sex tape,

and it was gonna be leaked,

and then they were kind of
following her.

How you doing, Farrah?

Hey.

I look, too--like, when
you don't know something,

like, when you're lost,
and you're like,

who is a guru in this
to help me deal

with my screwed up,
messed up problem?

And there's only, like,
one person or one entity

that knew how to handle
a "celebrity" and sex,

and that was
Vivid Entertainment.

TMZ did report that her father

definitely had been negotiating
with her.

So, Gina calls me, introduces
herself, blah, blah.

"You know, this is so exciting."

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

"We're gonna arrange
for you guys

to come out this weekend,

and, uh, Farrah will tell you
all about it."

And by the way, we're gonna
all make a lot of money.

That's when I met, uh,

Steve Hirsch
from Vivid Entertainment,

sitting in his two chairs
in front of his desk

looking at all his stuff.

And I go,
"Steve, you have family.

How would you feel if
your daughter was doing this?"

He didn't answer me.

He just said,
"It's just business, Mike."

Right.

So, initially, when the
Farrah Abraham thing happened,

my name kept popping up
all over the place

as the celebrity sex tape guy,

but also the guy who does
publicity and knows everybody,

you know, from ABC News to TMZ.

Steve Hirsch
and Gina Rodriguez--

they recommended
that I work with Farrah.

And when I told her
what my fee was monthly,

she didn't really bat
an eyelash.

I said, "But listen, you have
to do what I tell you to do.

There is money out there,

and people will pay you
for interviews,

but you have to be smart.

Just remember, the pigs get fed.
Hogs get slaughtered."

And she's like,
"Ooh, I like that."

I said, "Don't call anybody.

Everybody's
talking about this tape.

Let's just make this happen
the way that I do it."

And then I'm reading about
a half-hour later this interview

that she gave at TMZ that I know
they would have paid her

thousands of dollars for.

And I call her up. I go,
"What the hell are you doing?

I told you not to talk
to anyone."

"Oh, K.B.,
I didn't realize you--

that I couldn't talk to TMZ."

I'm like,
what was wrong with you?

Then we had a giant fight on
the phone, hung up on her.

I said, "I can't work with you."

So after what
a failed manager tried to do

to me after, like,
swindling me along,

it was just like,
"Oh, I can help fix problems."

Lure me in. "Oh, my God, I can
make something out of this,

get money,
and when she brought up,

"I know how to spin this,"
and she wanted money for it,

I knew that it was all set up
against me.

You know,
"If you cross us unduly,

we have no need
to be around you."

Farrah says Gina's gone.

I don't need anyone else
making deals for me.

I can make them myself.

I did meet directly
with Steve Hirsch.

Uh, so, Farrah,
how did the meeting go?

Farrah initially was saying

that James Deen
was her boyfriend.

There were
these paparazzi shots

of Farrah and James Deen
holding hands

and looking like a couple.

But there was this issue.

TMZ caught up
with James Deen,

and they were like, "Oh,
are you Farrah's boyfriend?"

And he was like, "No."

They were going to pass
it off as, like, a sex tape.

And then people asked me,
and I have this problem

where I can't really lie.

So, I was like,
"We're making a porno."

- Hold up, hold up.
- Wait a second.

- Wait, hold up.
- It's like, wait a second.

Well, because TMZ was
following them so heavily,

like, actually filming them
walking around L.A.

Sometimes we
tell ourselves things

as a form
of self-preservation

that we just
have to believe,

and maybe Farrah
is doing that,

and maybe she's fooling herself,

but I don't think
she's fooling anyone else.

If you told me
that you had planned

to make this and distribute it
from the very beginning,

then that would be a lie.
- That would be a lie.

No. Um...

I think...

Okay. I don't... like...

Just being honest.

I don't think that has anything
to do with, like, legalities

about being honest
about my own thing.

I'm being honest
in the point of, um...

Yeah, hold on.
I should probably watch what--

I'm like, uh-oh, 'cause I really
did sign contracts, right?

Um...

Uh, one moment while I

make sure I'm not
doing anything wrong.

It's like, can I say it quietly
to myself before I just talk?

Yeah, I mean...

Or I don't even really
know how I would do that.

So sorry. I don't know.

I don't know what I'm doing
before I'm doing it. Uh-oh.

I'm gonna get a drink.

She went on "Dr. Phil"
with her parents.

She really kind of had
a cockamamie story

about how this got released.

So, um, there--there is a tape?

There was my own video
that has been talked about

by the wrong people,
and now my attorney

is dealing
with those legal issues.

She was saying that, you know,

she had hired a crew
to make this sex tape

because she wanted
to celebrate her body

and remember it at this point
when she looked super hot.

Dr. Phil was--
had a field day with her.

- How did it all get out there?
- It was--

They just--
somebody ratted you out?

Um, yes. Um--

You hired a porn star
to do that. You're in Hollywood.

Did you really think
this would be under the radar?

Yeah. When you're not ready
to speak about things,

that happens
a lot in celebrity land.

I'm not ready
to speak upon something,

"But we wanna get you
on this show right away.

We wanna get you
talking about it."

This is a sex tape,
though, right?

I don't even
look at it like that.

It is my own personal thing.

Who goes to a porn star

and makes their
own benefit tape?

What was the benefit?
Masturbation?

You could make a sex tape
with anybody to do that.

What made you wanna do it
with James Deen instead

of like an average Joe,
like a TMZ cameraman?

Well, this is--Okay.

Um, well, this is what
I was told,

you know, it's better to--
for my sake, for my privacy,

to find the best
and professional people.

There was no way in hell
anybody was ever gonna

believe that this girl

would link up with the biggest
male porn star, James Deen.

It's like it's really hard
and challenging for someone

with my mental capacity,

with the tools
that I've been born with.

So, what you're seeing is,
like...

a jumbled up mess.

Uh, so I'm wondering, like,

if it was always like
an exclusive thing with Vivid

or if, like, she did make it
and then was shopping it around.

I-I have no idea.

I think what you saw me do is...

You know what?

[bleep] you all.
You're not getting money off me.

I'm giving this to someone
who knows what to do with it.

And so this tape is called
"Backdoor Teen Mom,"

which is, uh...
it's about anal sex.

So, because of her association
with "Teen Mom"

and because of putting "Teen"
in the title,

there was this sort of, like,
barely legal

kind of sheen
to this sex tape.

That was, like, supposed
to be part of the appeal.

I remember seeing
people talk about her...

There is a filthy, dumb whore
who's gonna blow the lid.

...as a commodity,

and it, uh, didn't feel great.

We do
our celebrity sex tapes.

We're always looking
for the newest, hottest thing.

I-I worried about her,
but she, at that point,

was, um, sort of
self-righteous about it.

I have to say I can't
hate Vivid,

but I appreciate it because
I guess

it would have been even stupider
of me to lose all my rights

to just have, like,
hate towards everyone where

that was very easy at the time.

In the lead-up to the release
of "Backdoor Teen Mom,"

Vivid released a trailer.

It was basically
just like a mini version

of "Backdoor Teen Mom" that
showed a lot, a lot, like...

...hardcore porn.
It was them them having sex.

Everyone was writing about it.
Everyone was talking about it.

It was very scandalous.
It was huge on Twitter.

14 million views
in the first 10 days

that clip was up.

The presales
actually broke the record

From "Kim K, Superstar."

There is no bottom
of the barrel.

You keep going lower.
You keep getting paid more.

She was, like,
really trashed in the media.

It's the most idiotically,
transparent path to celebrity.

They like to build you up
and break you down.

We've seen that happen
to so many celebrities.

Fame, attention
can be very gratifying.

It can also be very addicting.

So, my sex life didn't end up

private and respecting
my boundaries.

It ended up
being a dragged-out mess

of other people wanting
to guilt me, I guess,

or ruin me or shame me.

I consider the death
of the celebrity sex tape

happened when Farrah Abraham
put out her product.

Farrah's was when that model
was sort of, like, destroyed.

The paparazzi were
following Farrah around L.A.,

following her,
like, going into Vivid.

I think it was
all part of the, like,

"leaked" story
that was going around.

Like, they would call TMZ
and be like, "Oh, hey, look.

Farrah's negotiating
with Vivid now

because this tape's
about to be released."

So, today's
your big release day, right?

- Today's the big day.
- The big day.

Let's ask that again.
Ask that again.

All right, cut.

"Backdoor Teen Mom"
was released on May 7, 2013,

which was a smash hit for Vivid.

You know, I worked for Gawker.

Some of our biggest
trafficked posts was

the Farrah Abraham sex tape
"Backdoor Teen Mom."

I mean,
that got 20 million views.

And every night, without fail,

"Backdoor Teen Mom"
would tick up to the top.

It would be number one,
like, every single night.

It was even where you go,

it's like run into 7-Eleven
and get--getting a cold drink.

"You're Michael!
I saw your daughter's ass."

So, I go, "Well, you know,
I hope you enjoyed it,"

and I walked out.

I don't agree with the titles,
title,

"Backdoor" of something,

but I will say the keywords
and the things they used,

I actually admire
their business sense

when it comes to selling
and marketing something.

Her profile was super
heightened when this came out.

Like, it worked. Like, she was
being talked about a lot.

She was being written about
a lot.

It was wildly successful.
She's got a brand-new,

very expensive home
that she bought.

The richest Teen Mom of
all of 'em because of that tape.

There is
a very big lesson in life

that I need to learn, which was
business in "celebrity."

I can't even believe
I'm a top Googled person.

I can't believe I have, like,
a, the, you know, top, like,

the best celebrity sex tape.
Never thought about that.

I can't believe
I'm a "New York Times"

Best-Selling author.

Never freaking
would imagine that.

And I did all of this
being depressed and lost.

So, you can only imagine
when I'm un-lost now

how freaking good
I'm gonna be.

Well, one way
that Sarah's story evolved

after this sex tape was

she finally had financial
independence from her parents,

so she didn't really have
to take their crap anymore,

and she was kind of
out on her own.

Debra and I were going
through marriage problems,

even though we didn't divorce
for years and years.

And then the mother--
her mother, Debra Danielsen,

who had been so adamant
about, you know,

no premarital sex and then,
you know, no abortion,

and, like, "You have
to raise this baby now.

This is your consequence"--

she went and, um,
asked Farrah for $10,000,

and so the tables were turned,

and then they were going to her
for money,

and they were going
to her for help.

Farrah Abraham--and I know
she's part of this doc as well--

I consider the death of
the celebrity sex tape happened

when Farrah Abraham
put out her product.

And the reason why I say that is
because it was so well lit

and edited and professional

that you could see
that this was bull[bleep].

It just didn't have...
the sort of authenticity

that these other, you know,
"celebrity sex tapes" had had.

There was professional lighting.

There was
professional camera people.

What really sells the sex tape
is the fact that

you're not supposed
to be seeing this.

When I saw that
Pam and Tommy Lee thing

with the choppy download
in my office,

I felt, like, ew, this is
somebody's private stuff.

I shouldn't be looking at this,
and, uh...

Of course not.

You know, when you watch Kim K's
and Ray J's sex tape,

like, you're like,
oh, they're together.

They loved each other.
They were in love.

Farrah's was not that.
Farrah's was like,

you know, anal with some
guy I just met.

I mean, it didn't even seem
like they liked each other.

It didn't even seem like
they knew each other, honestly,

whereas, like,
Kim Kardashian's sex tape,

you know, created this model.

Farrah's was when that model
was sort of, like, destroyed.

The Wizard was revealed
behind the curtain.

And people were like,
"Okay, this isn't real.

I wanna see something
that's real."

Before they saw it,
she was still vilified for it.

And then when it became clear
that she actually had

some agency in this. Like,
she helped produce this thing,

she chose to do it,
they still didn't like it.

They still were [bleep]
to her about it.

So, I guess, you know, you can't
win when you're a woman.

I think when you are
in your late teens, early 20s,

you cannot fully understand

the long-term repercussions
of having a sex tape come out,

whether you have consented to it
or not.

With Farrah, you know,

you gotta realize
where she's coming from.

I was actually in shock.

We don't care if someone's
mental health is poor.

We don't care if they're

truly the innocent person in
a really screwed up situation.

Farrah Abraham has been

a very busy bad girl.

I was surprised
that she went into sex work,

but she's exactly
the sort of constellation

of phenomenon that will
gravitate that direction.

I mean, I remember
immersing myself

at adult places,
at adult venues.

It really did feel like Farrah
was trying to become, like,

a legit adult entertainer.

Okay, I'm not fitting in
with my family,

so let me go fit in
with another group

so I can feel like I belong,
and I think that's, like,

hurt Farrah felt like,
let me figure out where

I can belong
to another group of people.

Farrah did seem
like she was very drawn

to working in the sex industry

in some kind of way.

She did this, like, tour
of strip clubs at one point,

She had a mold
made of her vagina.

She calls me up. She says,

"Well, what do you think
about it?"

I go, "Well,
you're already out there.

You might as well make
as much money as you can."

Maybe we'll have
a Michael sex toy.

No.

I thought it was funny as heck.

So, a bunch of my toys are
doing amazing, and now we have

a women's line out as well.
- Oh.

Later, when she got
into sex work,

things got odd to me.

Her parents were championing
her sex work.

Literally, like, would come
in with, like, you know,

noisemakers and things
to Team--Team Farrah.

My feeling at the time
was Debra was trying

to heal her relationship
with her daughter.

Nice going. Right here.

Farrah,
over that shoulder again.

Now do it over here.
There we go. Right there.

Debra described it
as a business decision.

You know,
"It's $7 billion industry.

Let my daughter have
a piece of this industry."

I was definitely shamed for
trying to bring in the options

of, like, problem solving,
but I got all the money.

- Are you a millionaire now?
- I am.

I immersed myself in kind
of adult--adult life.

I was blessed to get
booked to just show up.

The AVN Awards have been

kind of dubbed
the "Oscars of porn."

Co-hosting was one
of probably the best nights

that I've ever had.

Hi, everybody. Welcome
to the best night of the year.

Please welcome
"Backdoor Team Mom,"

Farrah Abraham.

I'm gonna be bluntly honest
with you.

I don't remember much.

I do, uh...

vividly remember
that she got booed.

What Kelly just said was

sex is truly
the universal language.

Because you shouldn't mix, like,

your antidepressants
with alcohol.

So... yeah, I was there
to some capacity,

but I didn't...

I didn't want to be there.

It seemed like she'd
walked in on territory

that wasn't hers.

Then where is the space
for Farrah Abraham?

But I think also what's sad
about it is that that's how far

her villainous reputation went,
all the way to the AVN Awards,

where her even having
this very successful sex tape

still got her booed,

and I wonder what that
does to the psyche.

I mean, what do
you feel when you're up there?

She clearly felt like that
was the right avenue for her,

but I don't think it was.

I was not fitting in.

Like, where can I have people
who understand?

So, let me go fit in
with another group

so I can feel like I belong.

When I say the adult industry
or porn stars,

is that space? No.

Farrah was not, you know,

welcome with open arms
into the sex industry.

I think that she's been
overglorified to certain extents

'cause I just think
it's a gimmick.

What is
your favorite set experience

that you've ever had?

Um, I haven't had
a set experience,

so that's funny.

I just feel like it's--
it's a lie.

Just be honest with it.

If you wanna be sexual,
be sexual.

If you don't, don't.

If someone really leaked
your stuff, be honest with it

and then say afterwards,
"Hey, it was leaked,

but I decided to capitalize
off it 'cause it was gonna be

out there anyways,
and this is what I chose to do

and was right for me
at the time."

I will say this. I don't have
any porn star friends today,

so I guess
they don't understand me.

Celebrities put out these tapes.

They produce these tapes,

and then they act like,
"Oh, it's shameful and stolen,

and I'm so upset by it."

But here I'm gonna
get more popularity and fame

and get more following
and everything

and then leave.

But it's, like, work
that we do all the time.

She didn't come
into the industry.

She made a sex tape.

But at least she's proud
of it, I guess.

Is she?

You made the server crash.

I think that's a proud moment
for Vivid.

- Really?
- And I'm--

you know, I'm just happy
to be here.

Hopefully, my body looks good.

I have control over my body.
I have control over my things.

I'm hoping to just
make better choices.

I think that's for sure.
We can all agree on that.

I think sometimes
when you're in your 20s,

you act out of spite,
though, and revenge.

I still wonder sometimes, like,

was that the best way
to handle my resentment?

You make your choices.
Live with them.

I know I'm living
with my choices.

You know, there are people
who think that sex work

and adult entertainment
is exploitative,

but there are also people
who think

that reality television
is exploitative.

You know what? I am not--

I am not going to let you
[bleep] get off track.

She wasn't in charge of the way
that she was portrayed.

The animal that reality TV made
is my daughter.

This is some trailer park trash.

- No.
- No!

You know what? [bleep]
Let's compare.

I haven't been happy
for over 14 years.

I know it's, like, crazy.

Like, I couldn't
get out of depression.

I wanted to kill myself.
Like, there's...

There's no hiding that
I've had struggles of, like...

all that stuff.

So...

Sorry, just overwhelmed.
Like...

Farrah was on my show,
season four

of VH1 "Couples Therapy
with Dr. Jenn."

She is someone who has had
an enormous amount of trauma.

She's a survivor.

We did a pretty stunning session

with her mom

where Farrah was really
asking for compassion.

I'm trying to help
you have empathy for Farrah.

And if that's not good enough--
I do feel empathy for Farrah.

- Then show her.
- At some point in the session

with her mom in the room,
I just looked at Farrah,

and I said,
"You need to grieve the loss

of the mom
that you hoped to have."

Generationally, like, no one
cared about mental health care.

And I've tried to show
love and support

for, like, my parents
because I know that

that's not what they had
in their generation.

That hurts me deeply,

but I also see that they don't
want it as bad as I do,

and that's why
I don't talk to anyone

in my family
at this time with love.

The last time I talked to her,
I told her that I just

want her to be happy
and I want her to be safe.

No matter how bad it hurt,

my job, being her father,
was to be there.

Uh, uh...

to this day, it's unconv--
unconditional love.

I make it a safe place
in my home

so that my daughter
can re-parent herself.

Love you, honey.

Farrah has always given
Sophia opportunities.

She's just a great mom.

Like, I have evolved so much
this year with communicating

and having a better relationship
as a mother with my teenager.

So, yeah, I'm not looking
to repeat anything

in my teenage years
with my daughter,

especially teen pregnancy.

So, when I look back,
do I think any of the things

that I did beyond this point
is great?

Probably not,
and that's the truth.

I just have to admit
where I've done wrong

to myself along my journey.

I'm doing on a 12-step program
for my relationships right now.

The fact that she's taking care
of herself and getting--I mean,

it really makes me feel good,
I gotta tell you,

because with all the stuff,

you know,
once the stuff settles down,

all those features that she has
had for all these years,

if that settles,

there's a really substantial
person underneath.

This is the Farrah that's, like,
in control of herself,

and she's not being exploited
by anybody else.

You know, I let that go.
Like, if I did think like,

oh, my God, I need fame
to feel good,

I really let that go.

What I've learned at
30-some-years-old

that it was all up to me
to do the personal work.

Like, it's a long journey.

It's a long [bleep]
journey right now.

I needed self-compassion.

I needed help
with my self-esteem,

and I needed to do the work.

And I'm so grateful that I did,
otherwise I couldn't

even be here for this interview,
to be honest, so I'm grateful.

I would have never
in a million years

thought she would do a tape,

but I understand
how she got there.

She went from one traumatic
relationship to another.

Mimi was at a low place
in her life when she met Nikko.

The tape broke the internet.

It was the shower rod...

that grabbed
a lot of people's attention.

Oh, the shower rod.

- Shower rod.
- Shower rod.

It took the sex tape
to a comedic place

that nobody really intended.

People wanna say, "Oh, she makes
bad decisions in relationships."

Who the [bleep] doesn't?

Just hers is on television
for us to criticize.

- Hey, let's talk about it.
- Yeah...

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
You just get shot after shot.

Okay.