Original subtitles

"Colt .45"

Produced by Warner Bros.

From the entertainment capital of the world

produced for television by Warner Bros.

Bartender

over in Tuscon, they tell me this is a smokey town.

Meddlin'. Man looking for trouble can sometimes find it.

Can ? That's interesting.

"Who's your fastest gun ?"

Any particular reason for asking, mister ?

Yeah. I'd like to buy him a drink.

And hook up with him for a shooting match.

Well, Woody, what are we waiting for ? Set 'em up.

You ?

Well, I ain't never refused a free drink

since I was fourteen years old.

Well, mister, are you gonna buy one

or you just leaking smoke out of your mouth ?

Well, bottoms up, clear your eye.

Hey, you ain't drinking.

I like a kick in the wrist now and then.

But I'd rather get it from gunpowder.

Well, in that case, [, I'll just clear both eyes.

Well, partner ?

Tuck Degan, what are you up to ?

Where are you going ?

Oh, no place particular, Esse

just amblin' across the street.

When I see a man pulling at his gun belt

or a woman pulling at her corset I know they mean business

now you ain't gunnin' with that fella.

Now, look here, Esse

he's one of them fancy guns from outside

and he's scouting around for the fastest man

there is on the draw and I aim to oblige him.

You promised me you was gonna stop slamming around

shootin' and chewin' tobacco.

You said you were gonna straighten up

and make something of yourself in this town.

Esse, a man without no spine don't straighten up in any town.

Tuck, ain't you got enough holes in your head already

without him drilling some new ones ?

Please wait till Sheriff Ben comes back.

Now, Tuck, you wouldn't wanna disappoint a lady.

Neither would I, so I'll show you how fast I am

and give you a way out.

See these cards ?

Sheriff's office down in Texas printed them out for me.

I'm gonna set them up here on the pitching rail

my face on one side and the blank side on the other.

We'll shoot six shots.

You at me, me at the blank.

Now, the first one to empty his gun

knocks the other's gun hand down.

Okay, let's just step back a few little paces

and give those poor cards a sportin' chance

and when I count to three, we'll draw.

Alright.

What's going on here ?

One, two, three.

You're gonna get killed if you keep on using

that old thumb buster.

Say, who did you say you was

and what was that you was shooting ?

Chris Colt of the Colt Patent firearm company.

"Law officers stop this man

"and order 'The Peacemaker'

"single action army revolver calibre .45.

"Christopher Colt, sales representative

"of the Colt-Patent firearms company

Hartford, Connecticut."

You, you mean, you're just a peddler ?

He's just a peddler.

Mr. Degan, I'm the best peddler the Colt company has.

And I'm selling the fastest gun in the world.

And you pulled all this just to sell your merchandise ?

Well, I'll be boiled, and browned and gargled

if that ain't a good one.

Step right up, folks. My card.

'Folks, I want to show you the speed and features'

'of this remarkable weapon.'

Notice the high hammer spur

that makes for lightning cocking.

Notice the butt.

Let's see that gun there, peddler.

Certainly.

You do me the favor of drawing for the crowd

so they can see how the butt seems to jump into the hand.

I'll take it. What's the price ?

$20.

I can't sell your demonstrator.

I'll be glad to take your order though.

Delivery, when ?

Six months, if you're lucky.

Because every lawman west of the Mississippi

wants one of those remarkable weapons.

And every gunfighter that doesn't have one

is headed for boot heel.

I'm taking this weapon.

And I'm paying cash.

I guess you didn't hear me, Mister

Bluestone.

Very glad to know you, Mr. Bluestone.

But if I sold you my demonstrators

I'd be plum out of business.

You better take the money, drummer

while you got the chance.

Kinda mean odds, ain't it, Esse ? Two against one.

'What's this ruckus ?'

Put up that gun.

Who are you ?

He's some fancy salesman with a new six-shooter.

Name's Colt.

- Sheriff Bluestone. - This man your brother ?

We're both his brothers.

I'm sorry we couldn't have met under pleasant circumstances.

But if you're still interested in, one of these .45s..

If anyone is

I'll be in the hotel bar.

Nobody's going to buy nothing from you in this valley.

If you hadn't rolled up, he'd like shot both of us.

- 'Street fighter ?' - 'Fast, too.'

Fast ?

Maybe you'd like to show us how fast you are

at gettin' out of town.

That is, if you wanna get out in one piece, peddler.

Hiya, peddler.

How's business ?

Haven't taken an order yet.

Bartender, give my friend a drink.

Boy, that's some iron.

You know, Colt, if I was you, I'd back up.

You're through in this town.

Because I tangled with the Bluestones ?

Let me tell you something.

Right now, they're out at Ben's place

on a sheep deal that won't wait.

But they'll be back for their evenin' drinkin'

and right here.

So if I was you, I'd get out of that room

before they get in it and stomp you.

I've broken no law.

Won't the decent people stand up to 'em ?

Back my right to do business here ?

What decent people ?

There ain't nobody that stands up against them Bluestones.

Why, they get all the money there is in town

and they got Brother Ben's law badge

to back 'em up.

Bartender ?

Will you go out in the kitchen and bring us some coffee ?

Yes, if it's cooked yet.

Tuck, you helped me against the Bluestones out there.

Now you're doing it again, warning me.

May I ask why ?

Oh..

Maybe because I like ya.

You know, a man don't get to laugh at much

in this here town.

So, unless I get liquored up

or cut a shine or two, |

I get behind on the regular laughing.

So, maybe it's that little joke you pulled out there.

Joke I pulled out there is nothing

compared to what I have up my sleeve.

You're the law.

What's the matter, lost your sense of humor ?

You're not laughing

Well, the folks around these parts

don't think them badges is very comical.

Depends on who's wearing it.

Would you like to try it on ?

Sure, I'll try anything once.

How do you like that ?

Old Tuck, the law dog.

Head for the hills, mayor. Marshall Diggins' on your trail.

Hey, wouldn't Esse's eyes bug out

if I was to get all cleaned up

and sashay over there ?

Why don't you just let Esse's eyes bug out in worry ?

- What ? - I mean it.

I'll deputize you.

If you do a little chore for me.

Hey, are you serious ?

What do you want in this town anyways ?

I've got a bill to collect from the Bluestones.

Back taxes they owe the government.

Well, all I can say is that you picked

a nice hot place to get buried in.

How much taxes ?

$1,248.

Why, them penny-pinching sidewinders

they got more than ten times that amount

in their pockets right now.

Then you shouldn't have any problem collecting it.

No. Should be real e..

Who, me ? Oh, no.

The last government agent tried to collect them taxes

he leaned into a piece of lead.

But you're their friend.

Oh, no, I ain't.

They ain't got no friends.

Well, at least you can get within talking range.

I can't now.

And Tuck ?

The US Government

will stand back of your play.

Sure. I know how far back too.

About two days' ride from Tuscon.

You won't do it ?

Well..

Hey, ain't the sheriff

supposed to collect the taxes in this territory ?

Yes. But Ben Bluestone's the sheriff

and he's not about to collect taxes from himself.

You don't want the badge ?

Tell you what I'll do.

You collect the money and maybe

I can make the appointment permanent.

Permanent ?

And I'll be the top man in this town

instead of the lawman.

It's up to you.

Mister, you know, there's something going on

in this valley that might just give me the edge

to take a little chip out of them Bluestones.

Little badges sure do tempt me.

You know, you might even prove to Esse

that I was upright and respectable.

Women can't resist a law badge, Tuck.

No, I, I gotta do it.

I gotta do it.

I just gotta clean up

and sashay down to her house and..

You know, she might even marry me.

But before the wedding

you've got to make a call on the Bluestones.

I'll do it.

I'll do it and you know why ?

I just wanna see the expression on them three ugly mugs

when I walk in and say "Gentlemen. Shake hands

with Deputy United States Marshal Tucker Degan."

And now back to "Colt .45"

US Deputy Marshal ?

What do you know, Tuck done smackle himself

a marshal's badge over at Tuscon.

Yes, sir, boys, I was over there the other day

and I run into this marshal.

And he says to me, Tuck, old boy, he says,

you know, three fellers named Bluestone over near valley

cuz they owe the government $1,248.

That's what he said.

So, I said to him, "Know him ?

I've known them all my life."

I said "These are the three crummiest deadbeats

that ever lived."

So I said "Mr. Marshal, you just give me a badge"

and some authority and I'll collect

this little bill for Uncle Sam.

Last government fella who tried to collect that bill

got kicked off. You know that ?

Oh, sure. But he was one of them dudes from Washington.

Didn't know his way around.

Breathing smoke around his mouth.

But us ? We're friends.

Not unless you cut this tomfoolery, we're not.

Well now, now, boys, boys

why don't you pay this measly little old bill

and make me the top man in the valley ?

Listen, you nod head, you forget that tax bill.

And you shup that badge before you get gunned

by one of our riders who ain't in on the little joke.

Now wait a minute, wait a minute

you know, that marshal in Tuscon

he ain't gonna like that.

"Cause he said the next government man

that gets tampered with in this valley

they're gonna send the cavalry in.

Cavalry ?

Yeah.

And, and, you know, with all them riders

strange ones, ridin' around this valley

they're liable to run into some of that stolen mutton.

Pay him then.

Thank you, gentlemen, thank you.

Mighty neighborly of you.

So long.

Kinda overdressed today, wasn't he ?

- Who ? - Tuck.

Wearing that badge.

Since you're dealin' out money today

maybe I could use $50.

What are you getting at ? What for ?

For about $50, I might make a liar out of Tuck Degan.

As to where he got that law badge

and who he got it from.

Oh, hello, Chris, been expecting ya.

- You got the money ? - Yep. Right here.

- Let's have it. - Well now, wait a minute.

Don't be in a rush, sit down.

Sit down, I got a drink over here.

I can't be seen here with you

after you collected those taxes.

Those Bluestones are liable to figure out

who gave you that badge.

Hey, you're right.

Hey, you know the best thing for you to do

is to get out of town as fast as possible.

I aim to, as soon as I get the money.

Let's have it.

Chris, I, I hate to disappoint

a nice fella like you.

You know, funny thing, I like you too

but I can't give you that money.

What ?

I'll give you the badge back though, here.

I don't want it. I want that $1248.

I know you do, Chris.

And I know the government needs it real bad too.

But you know, I'm fixing on getting married.

And all them little dollars will buy me and Esse a nice spread.

I'll give you one more chance, Tuck.

I kinda figured you'd get sticky fingers

when I sent you after the money.

Then why did you ?

I was minding my own business.

Because I figured it'd be easier to squeeze the money

out of you than one of the Bluestones.

That squeeze is a word I don't like

that's what you do with a trigger.

That's right.

- You mean right here ? - I do.

In this little bitty old room ?

Why, why there isn't enough room for that.

You know, it's bad enough to shoot a man but,

have him die of powder burns. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

You gonna draw ?

I ain't quite sure.

You see, Chris

I got the money right here in my pocket.

And I'm gonna put my hand up here and I'm gonna reach.

For your gun or the money ?

That's for you to figure out.

And brother, you better be right.

Tuck, where you been ?

Carryin' all that money around for Mr. Colt.

I was afraid you might a got into trouble.

Me get into trouble with an old friend like Chris ?

'Why, no honey, he's the one that's in trouble.'

You see, he's gotta skedaddle our of town right away.

If them Bluestones find out

that I borrowed that badge from him, why..

They're gonna kill him dead.

'So we can't hold him up. Not for a minute.'

Not for one little minute, honey.

So long, Chris.

Easy ridin' out. I'll be seein' you.

But it's not yours, Tuck.

That money belongs to the US Government.

Tuck.

Now, Esse, with that money, I can buy a nice little spread

and set up like a respectable rancher like you wanted me to.

Do you think I'd live on a ranch that was bought by stolen money ?

Honey, that money ain't stolen, it's just borrowed.

And as soon as I sell my first bunch of sheep

I'll pay the government back.

You'll do nothing of the kind.

If you ride out of town with that money

don't even bother to write.

Esse !

I only took that money so we could get married.

I'll never marry you.

And you know what else I won't do ?

I won't even visit you at the penitentiary.

Esse ! Essel !

That's a real fine woman, Tuck.

Much too good for you.

Why, you dirty low life

you, you was eavesdroppin'.

Out of reach. Up, this time.

Ben ! Cade !

Circle the stable.

Cross firing, men.

Three to one is pretty tough odds, ain't it, Tuck ?

Yeah, see, I sure took a shine to that peddler fella.

Nice boy like that deserves to die laughing.

Mace !

Tuck, go see how your friend is.

Nice shooting you did there, partner.

Yeah. They'd done a lot worse than that

if you hadn't spoiled his aim.

Oh, I couldn't resist them haunches

stickin' out that window

I lifted him four feet off that sill.

Somebody's gotta go after Cade.

Well, don't look at me.

You're the only law around here now.

You just shot the sheriff.

Quit looking at me, what do I care

what happens to Cade Bluestone ?

You're about the poorest excuse fo a bad man

I have ever seen.

You can't say that about Tuck.

You'll be dead if it weren't for him.

The real trouble with him is he's half hide binder

and half honest man.

Mr. Colt's hurt. He can't go after Cade.

He'll keel over from loss of blood.

'Hey, Chris.'

Ain't you forgetting something ?

Thanks, marshal.

Marshal ?

Pin it on him, Esse.

Tuck, honey, you're gonna be top man in this town after all.

Now then, who knows where that Cade Bluestone's at ?