Original subtitles

♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin' ♪

- Hyah! -♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin' ♪

♪ Keep movin', movin', movin' ♪

♪ Though they're disapprovin' ♪

♪ Keep them dogies movin' ♪

♪ Rawhide ♪

♪ Don't try to understand them ♪

♪ Just rope and throw and brand 'em ♪

♪ Soon we'll be livin' high and wide ♪

♪ My heart's calculatin' ♪

♪ My true love will be waitin' ♪

♪ Be waiting at the end of my ride ♪

♪ Move 'em on, head 'em up, head 'em up, move 'em on ♪

♪ Move 'em on, head 'em up, Rawhide ♪

-(whip cracks) -♪ Cut 'em out, ride 'em in ♪

♪ Ride 'em in, let 'em out, cut 'em out, ride 'em in ♪

-♪ Rawhide...! ♪ -♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin' ♪

♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin' ♪

- Hyah! -♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin'. ♪

(whip cracks twice)

Seven long hours in the saddle and for what?

I ain't seen a stray, much less any sign.

You heard what the man said, Jim,

we hunt for strays, and so that's what we're doing.

Yeah, you round them up, and you line them out,

and you push them from sunup to sundown,

and what do you get out of it? Nothing.

You start all over again.

Well, I'll tell you, Rowdy,

this is my last drive.

When we hit Denver,

I'm gonna take my share and buy me a saloon.

- Uh, Jim? - You bet.

I'm gonna prop my boots up on that bar

- and get right back in the shade. - Uh, psst.

Jim.

You betcha. The rest of my life.

- Uh, Jim? - What?

[GRUNTS]

Ain't no range bull. What is it?

I'll tell you what, uh,

you find out while I get out of here.

[GRUNTING]

[NEIGHING]

Smile at him, Jim. Don't let him think we're nervous.

Yeah, just call me old nonchalant.

Oh, let's go.

Rowdy, do something. Shoot him.

Over here. Run.

Hey, get over.

ROWDY: Get your elbow out of my eye.

- He's gotta be part elephant. - Yeah.

Never mind that. Just stay in here.

Help!

- Don't breathe so deep, will you? - Help!

WOMAN [SCOTTISH ACCENT]: Carnoustie, that will be enough!

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Go on. Get back where you belong.

Immediately.

You can come out now.

Really, Carnoustie's a most tractable creature.

Carnoustie?

It must be the yellow scarf you're wearing.

He can't abide the color.

I hope that neither of you are injured.

Uh, no. Not where it shows any.

Nonchalant.

I'm Kathleen Dundee.

Oh, Rowdy Yates.

Hi, Miss Dundee.

Oh, old Jim Quince, ma'am.

We're with the cattle drive heading for Denver.

Oh. Cow drivers.

Very interesting.

Heading for Denver?

Uh, yes, ma'am.

Oh.

Well, you must forgive my bad manners,

but I was just sitting down having my cup of tea.

- Of course, you'll be joining me? - Tea?

Well, no, ma'am, we have to go catch our horses.

Everything in its own time, as Robbie Burns was won't to say.

I'm sure that your animals will wander back to you both.

Come along. The kettle's on.

I guess if we don't go, Cam--

Whatever his name is might not approve.

Yeah.

There's really nothing like tea, especially when it's properly brewed.

I once tried to get used to your national beverage.

- Coffee? - Mm-hm.

I'm afraid that it couldn't get used to me.

Oh, do sit down.

There.

The pewter's Kincardine.

My great grandsire on my father's side.

Oh. And the Haviland's 1821, my mother's.

So do be careful with it.

Are either of you gentlemen familiar with Colley Cibber?

Oh, uh, well, I knew a Cowlick Cibber down on the Red.

He used to have a faro layout. You remember him.

[KATHLEEN LAUGHS]

No. The Cibber I'm referring to was an 18th-century English playwright.

- Uh, good nevertheless. - Oh, no, that wouldn't be him.

Tea! Thou soft, thou sober, sage and venerable liquid...

Ha, ha. Quite appropriate, don't you think so?

Yes.

Uh, say, ma'am,

I don't mean to be nosy, but where are the rest of your people?

- People? - Yeah.

What people?

Well, you're not out here all alone?

[BULL GRUNTING]

Ha, ha. Not quite.

Monmouth, MacHeath, MacDuff,

and I believe that you're familiar with Carnoustie.

Yes, ma’am, we met him.

Oh, do sit down. They're quite harmless, really.

I practically raised them since their infancy.

They go along with the things in my wagon.

They're all part of my dowry.

Well, I thought you was fixing to open up some kind of a swap shop.

Dundee heirlooms, a swap shop?

Hardly, Mr. Quince.

- Miss Dundee-- - Kathleen.

Uh, Kathleen, you mean to tell me you're out here 70 miles

from nowhere, with just a wagonload of...?

- Heirlooms. - Heirlooms.

And four breeding bulls, looking for a husband?

Not a husband, Mr. Yates.

A husband-to-be.

You see, I was betrothed in Edinburgh

at the livestock fair a year ago.

Richard Whiting was his name.

A fine strapping man.

A pioneer rancher of the great American Southwest,

or so he said.

Ooh.

If only I could've seen the villainy

behind the great smile and the twinkling eyes...

Hmm. Lies. Lies. All of it, lies.

The great ranch he talked about, nothing but a mud shack.

And the beautiful herd, scraggy, underfed beasts

not fit to tread the pastures with MacDuff.

That wasn't all either.

It wasn't me he wanted to walk beside him.

It was my wealth.

Heh. Content he was to shut me away in the kitchen

with my fancy heirlooms while he frittered away my inheritance

like snowflakes in a bathtub.

Why, a man like that, he ain't worth being killed.

So it's back to Scotland I'm going.

Me and my bulls and my dowry. What's left of it.

You see, I ran short of supplies and I lost my way.

Oh, this country is like a crazy quilt.

It's full of capricious canyons and deceitful creeks.

Ah, but now that I've found you, everything is all right.

- It is? - Well, we're all driving to Denver.

We can all drive together.

Uh...

- Miss Dundee... - Kathleen.

Kathleen, you see, you don't realize that we got a herd of 3,000 beefs.

Oh, that doesn't bother me at all.

Ma'am, wouldn't it make more sense to freight you and your dowry to Denver?

Well, I'm afraid that's not possible.

You see, that beast, he left me with nothing.

Not even a farthing.

- But you see-- - You wouldn't want me

to be stranded out here 60 miles from nowhere, would you?

No. Heh.

I guess we wouldn't think of that, now, would we?

Ah, capital. Right, I'll go and pack and then we can all be on our way.

[SIGHS]

One lost female and four breeding bulls, tin suit,

3,000 head of cattle.

Yeah, and a trail boss named Favor.

Four what?

Bulls, boss. The biggest breeding stock I ever did see.

The herd took one look at them and busted loose all down the line.

Yeah, well, what are you standing there for?

Break out a rifle and cut them down.

Well, I thought of that too, but I was afraid I might hit Rowdy.

- Hit Rowdy? - Or Quince too.

You see, they brought the bulls in. Them and the woman.

Here they come.

Joe, all of you, get out there and get rid of those bulls.

- But, Rowdy-- - No, he's mine.

He's all mine.

Mushy.

Oh, no, wait a minute, boss.

Maybe you'd better have some coffee. It's good for the nerves.

Only one thing's gonna help my nerves: blood.

Get a rifle.

QUINCE: Miss Dundee, your bulls, ma’am.

MacDuff, whoa, that's far enough.

FAVOR: And what do you knot-heads think you're doing?

ROWDY: Oh, well, you see, boss, it was this way...

I send you out for strays, and you come back with four crazy bulls

and a rolling junkyard.

Junkyard? Dundee heirlooms, junkyard?

And just who do you think you are, you great oversized, beady-eyed

- cross between a--? - Kathleen, that's the boss.

Oh, Mr. Favor, of course.

Oh, how charming.

You see, Mr. Yates and Mr. Quince here, they were just telling me

what a wonderful gentleman you are and a great inspirational leader.

FAVOR: What are you waiting for? Get those bulls out of here.

That won't really be necessary, boss. You see--

Those bulls are trained, boss. They mind her.

- Don't they, ma'am? - Oh, certainly.

If you want the animals removed, Mr. Favor,

all you have to do is to ask him.

Monmouth, move over there.

Dunheath, MacDuff, get along with you.

See?

All right, Joe, just make sure they keep moving.

Don't get too close to them. They're not used to you yet.

Yet?

See, that's what I was gonna tell you, boss. You see, Miss Dundee here...

Well, what he's trying to tell you, Mr. Favor,

is that these two gallant gentlemen of yours,

in the true tradition of the great American West,

have offered to a lost, maltreated woman

the sanctuary of your cattle drive.

They did what?

Uh, well, she was down to her last cup of tea.

We just couldn't leave her out there alone and lost.

You expect me to take four bulls and this--

KATHLEEN: Kathleen Dundee. Aberdeen, Scotland.

--On my cattle drive?

Well, she had no place to go, boss.

She had no money, not even a farthing.

Just four big bulls.

KATHLEEN: Oh, I assure you,

Monmouth, MacDuff and Dunheath and Carnoustie,

oh, they'll be no trouble at all. None whatsoever.

And, well, I could be very useful to you.

And I promise to stay well out of the way.

Mr. Favor, I've been lost a long time.

I'm alone in a strange land.

And all I want to do is to get back to Aberdeen,

where my bulls and my junkyard and I belong.

Please, Mr. Favor.

Uh, Mr. Favor, I could use some more help around the chuck wagon.

Me too.

And I'll put the bulls on drag, boss.

That way the herd won't even see them.

QUINCE: Well, the boys will be glad to pull double shifts to help out.

She was jilted, hasn't got anyone else to turn to, really.

Al right, all right. I can't stand to see grown men cry.

Stay with us until we hit the next town.

- Mr. Favor, I don't want-- - The next town.

Just as you say.

And I'm extremely grateful.

Help! Somebody do something!

[GRUNTING]

Help! Help!

KATHLEEN: Carnoustie, stop that!

Go on, get along with you.

Join the others where you belong.

I just can't understand it.

QUINCE: It's that scarf, Joe.

Carnoustie there just don't like yellow.

No, it must be something more than that.

I've never heard him so unruly. Tsk.

It must be the prairie gnats.

Prairie gnats?

KATHLEEN: Blemishes of a minor sort.

He gets them constantly on his back.

You wouldn't, by any chance, mean warble flies?

Well, I don't what you call them.

Blemishes in Scotland are called something else.

I'm sure that you will know what to do with them.

And, Mr. Favor, do start shaving,

because your lather is going hard.

You must be Mr. Wishbone and Mr. Mushy.

Well, Wishbone, how quaint.

You know, you resemble a cousin of mine.

His star was haggis. A bit of a gourmet, as I recall.

Also, I think he dabbled in medicine. Ha, ha.

Well...

I guess I better get back to the herd.

- Me too. - Yeah. I'd better get this wagon.

- Mr. Yates. - Yeah.

Have you ever seen a herd down with warble flies?

Gee, no, I can't say that I have.

And you wouldn't wanna see anything messy like that either, would you?

- You mean...? - That's right.

You're gonna get the chance to dip Carnoustie

and all his little friends.

- All right? - All right, then.

- Well, I don't mind dipping bulls. - I thought so.

Carnoustie needs a bath, that's all right with me.

[BULL GRUNTING]

Oh, do be careful, Mr. Yates.

Keep your dip out of his eyes.

ROWDY: Yeah. I'm trying my best not to.

[BULL GRUNTING]

[NEIGHS]

And don't pull so hard on that rope.

There's no need to badger the poor dear.

There, there, it's gotta be done.

It's the only way to get rid of the warble flies.

- Whew. - You all right?

[KATHLEEN COUGHING]

KATHLEEN: Ach, I'm fine. Yes. Whew.

It's the fumes.

It's mostly sulfur and asafetida. It's worse than rotten eggs.

You sure you don't wanna go back to camp?

No, I'm fine.

[BULL GRUNTING]

[ALL LOWING]

Settle down, you critters. It's past your bedtime.

- They settling down any? - Afraid not, boss. It's them bulls.

- They ain't doing nothing but just-- - Yeah, I know.

Carnoustie and his friends.

All right. Keep them tight. I'll put some more men on those bulls

to make sure they stay on their side of the fence.

Quiet down, you old mossback.

You ain't going nowhere.

I do hate to interrupt such an idyllic pastoral scene,

but I was under the impression you were gonna spend

a bit of time with them nice little bulls tonight.

Oh, yeah.

Well, you see, it was that warble-fly dip, boss.

I couldn't stand myself afterwards.

"Elixir of rose blossom petals and honeysuckle buds.” Ooh.

Well, heh, that's Miss Dundee's.

It was the only thing I could find that was strong enough.

Boy, those bulls are gonna love you tonight.

And all night long too.

[SCOTTISH FOLK MUSIC PLAYING ON PHONOGRAPH]

Hmm. Warble flies.

Don't stop now, Miss Dundee.

I'm just getting warmed up.

There you are, Mr. Favor.

We were wondering where you'd got to.

Oh, I'd bet on that.

Oh.

So the Englishman was right.

Truly a man who hath no music in himself

is fit for treachery, stratagems and spoils.

Why, these men of yours, they dance so well

they must have a drop or two of Scots blood in them.

Ha, ha. Or a drop or two of the Orkney Special.

Aw, it's this tin suit, boss, I just couldn't resist it.

MUSHY: And guess what, Mr. Favor.

Miss Dundee, she thinks we're related.

My middle name's Milligan, and her great-uncle--

Angus Milligan, regimental commander,

the queen's own volunteer guard.

That is, before he emigrated to America.

Ah, the poor dear. We never have heard of him since.

Mr. Mushgrove here, he could be his twin.

WISHBONE: Yeah. She showed us a picture.

His spitting image.

We thought it was only proper to unpack Uncle Angus' regimentals.

Ah, doesn't he cut a bunny figure?

Drafty would be more like it.

Mushy, let's get out of that fool outfit and get behind a self-respecting apron,

- where you belong. - Yes, sir.

Fool outfit?

Quince, if that pile of junk don't disappear in five minutes

you're gonna be riding nighthawk in it all evening.

Pile of scrap? Mr. Favor.

FAVOR: Now, maybe you haven't noticed it,

but this is a cattle drive and not a traveling carnival.

But...

So while we're enjoying the benefit of your company,

you will confine yourself to the chuck wagon.

And please, let's keep this claptrap where it belongs, huh?

Claptrap indeed.

For your information, Mr. Favor, that claptrap, as you call it,

represents a 400-year heritage

of proud life and noble death

honored on the battlefields of Europe to the Baskerville moors

to the great stones of Saint James himself.

A heritage that was flourishing

when your ancestors thought treetops were homes.

Heh. Claptrap, indeed, Mr. Favor. Heh.

Well? That dinner gonna jump into the pot all by itself?

For your information, Mr. Trail-Boss,

that dinner's all done and just simmering

while Miss Dundee's pies is getting done.

Pies which, I might add, she's made special for you and the men.

[BULL GRUNTING]

Easy there, MacDuff.

Let's not get excited.

KATHLEEN: No cause for alarm, Mr. Yates.

He merely heard my step.

Go on, MacDuff. Go on.

Back with the others.

You know, I think I got this all wrong.

Maybe you should be riding the night guard,

and I should be back with the pots and pans.

Hardly, Mr. Yates.

You see, MacDuff and I were practically brought up together.

There's no need to watch over them.

All they need do to settle is a "good night" from me.

I'm afraid Mr. Favor doesn't agree.

He says watch them, so we watch them.

Insurance, you might say, to be on the safe side.

Your Mr. Favor is a stern taskmaster, isn't he?

Well, driving the men is the biggest part of driving cattle, I'm afraid.

Yes, I suppose so.

Uh, you wouldn't consider me part of that cattle drive, would you?

Uh, well, if you were, I'm afraid we'd have more drovers than we do steers.

Then you will help?

How?

Well, help me to change Mr. Favor's mind.

Well, he can't just drop me at the next town.

That's playing right into his hands.

- Whose hands? - The man I was supposed to marry.

Oh, he'd do anything to get my bulls back.

He's probably notified every constable in the territory to arrest me on sight.

Now, look, Kathleen, the law works both ways.

- Now, all you have to do is-- - There's nothing I can do.

That's what I keep telling you.

I'm not even a citizen. The law's all on his side.

Please speak to Mr. Favor. He'll listen to you.

All I want to do is to get back to Denver.

Then I can sell Dunheath, oh, to a good family, of course,

and then secure my passage to Aberdeen.

Please, Mr. Yates.

If you don't, I'll never get home.

Yeah, but, look...

I'm only a woman.

All I can do is beg.

Well, I'll see what I can do.

Oh, Mr. Yates, I'll be eternally grateful.

[MEN WHISTLING AND YELLING]

Boss, you're not gonna believe this.

Believe what?

I never thought I'd see the day the bulls could drive cattle

better than we could. Look.

I was just having them back there.

Seems to make the steer a little nervous, pushes their speed up.

Why, we keep the bulls around, at this rate,

we'll be in Denver a month early.

Oh, you can keep that bull. I'll see you in Denver.

KATHLEEN: Whoa there.

Who did what?

Oh, it's old Carnoustie there. He's gone plumb goofy.

Got the whole tail end of that herd running around in circles.

Carnoustie, huh?

Herd them in. Don't let them bust through.

[MEN WHISTLING AND YELLING]

- What happened? - No way of telling, boss.

That old bull just started running like he was mad at somebody.

Not somebody, Scarlet. Something.

Look, boss, daisies.

- Yellow daisies. - I know.

Don't tell me.

I bet I know.

- Carnoustie don't like yellow, huh? ROWDY: Well, yeah.

Yeah, well, what was you saying

about how helpful bulls is on a cattle drive?

Well, uh, you see--

FAVOR: And that little girl that talks to them

and keeps them real nice and quiet,

now, where do you suppose she's got to, huh?

Well, maybe she got lost, uh, again.

Now, that would be a shame, wouldn't it?

- Well, boss, now-- FAVOR: Find her, Mr. Yates.

You find her and her wagon and her bulls

and you lump them all together.

That way, you shouldn't have any trouble

- when you leave. - Leave?

That's right. You're leaving in the morning.

You and Mr. Quince and all of Aberdeen, Scotland,

and MacDuff and Dunheath, and Monmouth and Carnoustie.

You're gonna disappear.

Just like that, you're all gonna disappear.

Where are we gonna take her?

Back where you found her, anywhere.

I don't care, just so long as you keep her away from this herd.

Is that clear?

Well, yeah, it's clear.

Fine.

Maybe we could get in a little cattle driving now, huh?

Al right?

- Of course, yeah. Yeah. QUINCE: Yes, sir.

[HERDERS WHISTLING AND YELLING]

Miss Dundee?

[SIGHS]

You did say "Miss" Dundee?

No, that was Mr. Yates.

And I didn't bother to correct him.

Didn't bother?

For your information, Mr. Wishbone, I have left my husband.

I had the hoax of a marriage declared null and void.

Well, are you also gonna declare that baby null and void?

Lady, there isn't a doctor around here in 50 miles.

My baby isn't expected yet, and I believe I can still count.

Well, maybe you can, but the baby can't.

There's really nothing to worry about, Mr. Wishbone.

Oh, that's fine for you to say, but what about me?

I helped deliver a few calves into this world,

but if you think--

- Here. - Oh.

You just push and I'll tug.

We Dundees are sturdy stock.

We carry our children well.

My mother was harrowing clover to the last hour,

and I was born en route to the barn.

Barn?

Well, all we got's wagons.

Ha, ha. Well, if necessary, that will do fine.

Well, nothing's gonna do fine

when Rowdy and Mr. Favor find out about this.

Mr. Wishbone, that's exactly why I've been trying to conceal the truth.

The immortal conspiracy of mankind,

superior beings honor-bound

to present a solid, unwavering front to the weaker sex,

no matter who's right or who's wrong.

Tell them that I dared to defy the nuptial fetters of felicitude forever

to a fellow man, and your Mr. Favor and Mr. Yates

will have me dropped at the nearest doctor's doorstep

as if I were a blight on society

and leave me to the mercy of that gruesome monster

I once called a husband.

Well, monster or no monster, you still ought to be in doctor's care.

You wouldn't even be out here if you wasn't ailing.

It's a minor circulatory condition,

common in pregnancy,

and the cool waters take the swelling of the ankle down.

There's nothing to worry about.

Well, I still gotta tell them.

Mr. Wishbone, you do that and you'll be committing murder.

If that husband of mine gets me in his clutches,

my spirit will die.

And that means I'll die too.

- Please, Mr. Wishbone, don't tell. - But...

I promise that at the first signs, I'll tell them myself.

And then you can go out and scare up 50 doctors

if it'll make you feel any better.

Fair enough?

Well, fair or not, they're still gonna find out.

Motherhood has a way of getting around on a cattle drive.

And when Mr. Favor finds out, I know what he's gonna say.

[KATHLEEN CHUCKLES]

Here you are.

Just what the doctor ordered.

- Oh, Mr. Wishbone-- - No buts about it.

There's extract of iron and calcium and phosphorus in there,

just the thing for blood and bones.

- Either you take it, or I'll talk. - Men.

I know just how you feel,

but there's more important things than getting to Denver.

And whatever you think of Mr. Favor, he's doing the right thing.

You got no business at all out here, you being in the family way and all.

Mr. Wishbone, my Uncle Macintosh marched 1,000 feverish Highlanders

over the Khyber Pass in the dead of winter

with nothing more to keep him going

than his bagpipe and three kegs of Aberdeen ale.

A Dundee never surrenders and never retreats.

I'll get to Denver. If I crawl there on my hands and knees, I'll get there.

And my blood and bones are fine, thank you.

[WISHBONE SIGHS]

This will be real good for the men.

[GRUNTS]

[COUGHS]

Well, you finally did it, huh?

You put arsenic in the coffee.

There's nothing wrong with a little calcium and phosphorus.

A matter of fact, there's some around here I know could use a little iron

and a little less lead.

Trail boss around?

You're looking at what's left of him. Gil Favor.

Ah.

Lost my horse a few miles back,

saw your herd,

figured I might deal with you for another animal.

Seems to me like you could use something solid behind your belt

more than a horse.

I'll see what I can rustle up.

RICHARD: Obliged.

You usually do your traveling at night, Mr., uh...?

Oh. Whiting.

Richard Whiting.

And as to when I do my traveling...

- Here. It's only jerky, but it's filling. - Oh, thank you.

Don't look like I got much choice,

seeing as how I'm trying to follow a trail

that wanders over half the territory.

Might be you can help.

Wrong, Mr. Whiting.

You mean you were looking for someone.

QUINCE: You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Steal a woman's dowry.

- Hold it, hold it, what's this all about? - Him, the man who jilted Miss Dundee.

RICHARD: She told you that?

KATHLEEN: That and more, you thief.

Ooh, I haven't got warmed up yet.

- What right of you to leave me? RICHARD: What right?

Look, if this is a private argument, why don't you take it some place private?

- You run off and leave me... KATHLEEN: Leave you?

--To go traipsing around half the territory

in a wagon my old man wore out 30 years ago

- with nothing but four half-wild bulls... - Half wild?

--To keep you company, no food, no money,

and you ask me what right I had to follow you?

Mr. Whiting, when you abandoned me, you also abandoned all the rights

and claims to anything that existed before the fact.

I abandoned you?

- All right, fella, you-- - Wait a minute.

- Rowdy, they're married. - Married?

Oh, no, we're not.

I told the neighbors it was null and void before I left.

I don't care what you told the neighbors.

You're going home if I have to drag you by the hair.

Oh, no, I'm not. Never.

- Mr. Favor, you're a reasonable man. - Oh, true.

This man married me under false pretenses.

Once he got me and my bulls in his power,

he put Carnoustie and MacDuff

to service ordinary range cows.

And for what? So he could buy more range cows

for Monmouth and Dunheath.

And as if that wasn't enough,

he used my great Irish grandmother's porcelain night pot as a spittoon.

I didn't know it was no antique.

And then he dared to cart my dowry, my precious heirlooms,

every one of them, out to his barn,

hmph, likely to make nests for rodents.

I still say a thing ain't got no use, you junk it.

And finally, having shredded me of all my pride

and reducing me to the status of a chambermaid,

he finally took the humiliating step.

He deliberately stole my dot.

My grandmother's thriftily preserved 92 pounds sterling,

and he abandoned me.

Now, I ask you, Mr. Favor, what would you do?

Well, now, I--

That's it. That's exactly what I did, run.

And run and run and run

till I was far way from his designing and deceitful lies.

Kathleen, I did not abandon you.

I went to San Antone to buy a decent strain of Herefords

to breed with your Aberdeen bulls.

And as for your grandmother's dot, I put it in a bank, where it belongs.

Lies, lies, lies.

Oh, you don't fool me and you don't fool any of my friends either.

All right, that's enough.

No more talk. No more cock-and-bull stories.

You're going home, and I mean right now.

Don't forget to take your bulls.

Oh, no, I'm not. Never. Over my dead body.

I may not be able to swing right, but there's nothing wrong with my aim.

Liberty in every blow!

Come on, let's duel-- Oh!

[KATHLEEN GROANS]

Miss Dundee-- I mean Mrs. Whiting, is it--?

Oh. Mr. Wishbone, I don't think we're gonna have time

to scare up those 50 doctors.

Kathy.

It's all right, you're just gonna be a daddy.

- A baby? - A baby, yeah.

Mushy, blankets!

And I think hot water.

WISHBONE: Mushy, more blankets. MUSHY: Yes, sir.

- Is there anything happening? - No, not yet.

- Well, isn't there something that I--? - Don't worry, you'll know.

Here. You look like you need this.

What I need, you ain't got.

- Women. - Oh, I know how you feel.

Yeah, me too.

RICHARD: Look at this.

Must be at least a ton of it. Junk.

And I helped cart it all the way from Scotland.

And them bulls, think they was part of the family.

Family?

Say, Whiting, you know, you may be right.

Maybe they are family.

To a woman, everything she owns is part of her family.

And this junk's got family written all over it, doesn't it?

Oh, yeah, sure.

- Especially this here bathtub. - Now...

Now, I know

females are hard to understand at times,

especially with things like dowries.

But you gotta be calm and sensible about it, like me.

You got to look to the other side of it.

Now, stop and think about it, Whiting.

Al this junk-- I mean, all these priceless family heirlooms here,

they represent 400 years of living.

The heritage of a family

that was making history before Lewis and Clark ever realized

there was unmapped territory west of the Mississippi.

Now, of course, I know it doesn't mean much to you or me,

but to a woman...

Well, I gotta admit, I ain't never quite looked at it that way.

Yeah, that's right, Whiting,

you just haven't been thinking of it right.

Well, uh, just think of it.

You're liable to be the only man in this whole territory

who has his own personal iron suit.

Yeah. Yeah, Rowdy.

Of course, uh,

well, it'd take a lot of doing to meet her halfway.

It'd take an awfully big man to pull that off.

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, I don't know.

What's in this, boiled rocks?

Oh, that's just a little calcium and phosphorus.

That's the best thing in the world for a new father.

Oh.

[KATHLEEN PANTING]

Is he still here?

If he don't quit pacing out there,

he's gonna dig a trench right through our camp.

Well, it's all an act. He doesn't care.

- Not really. - I don't know.

He seemed like a reasonable enough man.

Reasonable? After what-- Oh.

I'll take your word for it.

Now, you just save your strength. You're gonna need it.

Well, I still say he doesn't care.

Well, any man that's done as much trailing as he has

has to care some.

When he first come in here, he looked like he was shopping for a pine box.

Heh. He did look a bit starchy, didn't he?

Well, he's gonna look a lot worse before he looks any better,

unless you do something about it.

What can I do?

You can meet him halfway, that's what.

Yes, but I don't--

Oh, Mr. Wishbone. Oh.

It's all right. I'm here. Just keep talking. Just keep talking.

[SINGING] Hush-a-bye baby on the treetop

[GASPING]

[BABY CRYING]

[ALL CHATTERING]

MAN 1: That's just wonderful.

MAN 2: Come on, hurry.

You're gonna scare him half to death.

It's a boy.

[ALL CHEERING]

MAN 3: Oh, another little... MAN 4: Whiting.

All right, mister, you can go see your family.

Yeah.

Harkness,

I think that I will have a cup of coffee.

Yes, sir.

Are you sure you're all right?

Yes, of course I'm all right.

You asked me that three times.

Yes.

Look at your son.

[CHUCKLES]

Look at that.

I think Macbeth is a nice name.

- Don't you agree? - Mac--?

[LAUGHS]

Well, we better get started.

Get started?

- But you just had a-- - Hitch up the team.

You don't think I'm going home without my dowry, do you?

We better get to rounding up them strays again.

Oh, no. You two are going on drag to stay.

The only way I can make sure the right strays come back

is to do it myself.

[ROWDY SIGHS]

All right, all right.

I'll go along with the battle standards

- and the Orkney crockery. - That's decent of you.

But if you think you're gonna spread that crazy pewter around my office,

you got yourself another think coming.

Mr. Whiting, the pewter is not crazy.

And it goes with that dungeon that you call an office.

RICHARD: And as for that fool bag of wind

or whatever you call it--

KATHLEEN: Bagpipe, Mr. Whiting, bagpipe.

RICHARD: Whatever it is, you play it down in the south meadow,

where my ears can stand it, or so help me, I'll burn the fool bag--

KATHLEEN: You so much as touch it,

and my great-grandfather's battle ax will need scouring again.

Head them up!

Move them out!

[MEN WHISTLING AND YELLING]