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1
00:00:01,035 --> 00:00:02,735
You know,
I really like
playing with you.
2
00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:04,470
Of course
you really like
playing with me.
3
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,505
That's because you know
you can beat me.
4
00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:09,040
Oh, come on.
What's your handicap?
5
00:00:09,077 --> 00:00:10,177
My leg.
6
00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:14,383
Why you always
throw the bad leg
up in my face?
7
00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:17,185
"Oh, I got shot
in the war.
8
00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:20,048
"They had to put
six grooves in my hip,
9
00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:22,058
"and one is shorter
than the other."
10
00:00:22,090 --> 00:00:24,760
Just give me
my two dollars.
11
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:26,392
You would think
you'd feel bad
12
00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:28,827
taking money
from an old man
with a cane.
13
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,202
You'd think I would.
But I don't.
14
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,100
(CLEARING THROAT)
15
00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:38,273
Well, at least
I broke 90.
16
00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:41,406
Unfortunately,
I was on the eighth hole
at the time.
17
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:42,742
(LAUGHING)
18
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:45,114
That's a joke, son.
19
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:46,176
Oh!
20
00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:47,154
(LAUGHING)
21
00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:49,821
Actually, I'm just glad
I didn't break my hip.
22
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:52,720
(LAUGHING)
23
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:53,793
That's not a joke.
24
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:54,821
Oh.
25
00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:59,290
Don't worry.
I'll get my money back
when we play on Saturday.
26
00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:00,757
Oh, no.
Not this Saturday.
27
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:02,534
Why not?
It's my anniversary.
28
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:03,633
Oh, really?
29
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,374
Yeah.
What've you got planned?
30
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,599
Oh, she's gonna love this.
It's my 15th.
31
00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:09,595
This year
I'm gonna surprise Jay.
32
00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:11,437
Because I've tried
in the past,
33
00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:13,712
but she got the kids,
you know, to spy on me
and then they ruin it.
34
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,511
That's 'cause she got them
under her control, you know.
35
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:17,553
She controls
the snacks and stuff.
36
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,548
Like her mama.
That's how her mama
used to work her.
37
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,620
Pull out some
little candy
from the bra.
38
00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,749
A piece of cupcake.
39
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:25,154
(BOTH LAUGHING)
40
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:29,157
With a lit candle in it.
41
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:33,690
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
42
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,657
Hey, it's open.
43
00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:37,666
What's up, Wanda?
What are you doing here?
44
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:40,898
Well, that's not a very warm
greeting for an old friend
who comes bearing gifts.
45
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,844
What? You got a big screen TV
hidden in your back pocket?
46
00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:46,341
No. But thank you
for suggesting
what could fit there.
47
00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:47,744
Oh, sorry.
48
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:52,275
But what I do have
is your front row ticket
to the brown mound of sound.
49
00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:54,323
No! Not...
Mr. Brian McKnight!
50
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,648
(SCREAMING)
51
00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,692
God, I love Mr. Brian!
52
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:03,891
* One, you're like
a dream come true
53
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:07,564
* Two, you buckle my shoes
54
00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:08,655
* Three
55
00:02:08,696 --> 00:02:11,466
* You want to be with me
56
00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,399
Girl, this is
unbelievable!
57
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:16,304
Oh, girl,
we're gonna make it
girls' night out.
58
00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:19,637
Angie, Lisa, Stephanie
and Susanne are all coming.
Oh.
59
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:24,513
We're gonna have drinks,
appetizers and then
the main course,
60
00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:27,452
fillet of Brian.
61
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:28,581
(SLURPING)
62
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:33,416
Oh, no.
63
00:02:33,454 --> 00:02:34,524
What?
64
00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:35,855
Girl, I can't go.
65
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:37,629
What do you mean
you can't go?
66
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,758
Saturday is our 15th
wedding anniversary, Wanda.
67
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,504
Celebrate on Sunday.
68
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,400
Sunday is not
our wedding anniversary.
69
00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:47,542
I don't know
why you keep celebrating
a shotgun wedding anyway.
70
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:50,368
Okay. Maybe it wasn't
the wedding of my dreams,
71
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:52,714
but at least it was
with the man of my dreams.
72
00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:55,540
Oh, you actually think
it's gonna make a difference
73
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:58,376
to baldilocks
whether you celebrate it
on Saturday or Sunday?
74
00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,252
Of course it will.
75
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:02,251
Our anniversary
is very important
to Michael.
76
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:04,823
And I think
he has something
special planned.
77
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,722
Oh, what makes you
think that?
78
00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:11,464
'Cause my baby is romantic.
Let me tell you what he did
five years ago.
79
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:15,762
He got us the penthouse suite
at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel.
The room was candlelit.
80
00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:19,766
Dom Perignon on ice
and rose petals
all over the bed.
81
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:21,674
Ooh.
82
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:25,372
Michael is sweet and sensitive
and loves his woman.
83
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:26,806
I mean,
the man can't even
walk into a room
84
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,780
without giving me
a big, wet, juicy kiss.
85
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:31,649
Here he comes.
Hey, baby.
86
00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:33,409
What's up?
What's up?
87
00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:38,648
(EXCLAIMS)
88
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:42,491
Don't start with me,
peanut head.
89
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:45,393
Why can't you two
just get along for once?
90
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:47,396
You know what, Jay?
You're right.
91
00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:49,498
We do this every time
we see each other, Wanda.
92
00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:51,670
Can't we just,
like, be friends?
93
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:54,599
Really?
No.
94
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:58,305
Oh, oh, before I forget.
Jay, don't make
any plans Saturday.
95
00:03:58,306 --> 00:04:00,666
Oh, you have
something planned?
96
00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:02,778
Yeah. I'm golfing
with Johnny.
97
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:06,510
So, I need you to be here
because Saturday night...
It's on.
98
00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:07,677
It is, baby?
99
00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:10,545
Yeah. The cable's gonna
finally be on.
100
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:13,554
And I need you here
to let the satellite
dish guy in. Okay?
101
00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:19,763
Satellite TV
on your anniversary!
102
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,333
That's so romantic!
103
00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,462
No!
104
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:26,404
No. No, 'cause I know
he is a clever man.
105
00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:27,404
See, I know
what he's trying to do.
106
00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:29,965
He's trying to make me think
that he's forgotten.
107
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,473
Mmm-hmm.
I'm just gonna play along.
108
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:32,565
Okay?
Hmm, okay.
109
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:33,606
(DOOR SLAMS)
110
00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:35,341
What is wrong with you?
111
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:36,606
I hate men.
112
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,454
(SIGHING)
113
00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:40,449
Well, don't go eating
every time a man
breaks your heart.
114
00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:43,551
That's what happened to me.
See this little pocket
of jiggly right here.
115
00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:47,424
Steven Johnson, '89.
See these saddle bags
right here?
116
00:04:47,455 --> 00:04:49,655
That's Eugene Clark, '95.
117
00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:51,830
See these?
Well, my mama
gave me those.
118
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:56,464
Yeah? Whatever.
119
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:59,467
That girl too skinny.
I couldn't even make
a decent broth out of her.
120
00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:03,039
Now, you sure
you won't reconsider?
121
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:08,110
Mmm. I love Brian
but I love Michael more. No.
122
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:12,381
Well, the way I see it,
you're gonna be stuck
in this marriage forever.
123
00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:16,623
But Brian is only in town
for one midnight.
124
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,763
And if you actually
think Lou Gossett
125
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,730
has remembered
your anniversary...
126
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:31,732
He hasn't forgotten, Wanda.
127
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:34,395
God! I hope
he hasn't forgotten.
128
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:41,407
MICHAEL: It's been
another intense day
of record-setting heat
129
00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:44,409
with intense rainfall
and tornadoes
130
00:05:44,412 --> 00:05:46,512
which have swept
through this country club
131
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:50,877
leaving these greens
as bumpy as the back of
Michael Clarke Duncan's head.
132
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:59,062
And it's come down to
the two most handsome
men in the PGA,
133
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,460
Michael Kyle
and Tiger Woods.
134
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:06,796
And if I was a betting man,
I wouldn't put my money
on the big-toothed fella.
135
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:15,440
Here it is. The final putt
for the million dollar
Masters Championship
136
00:06:15,443 --> 00:06:18,753
and that God awful
green jacket.
137
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:23,179
Okay, baby, get on in there
and talk to your father.
138
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,686
Oh, come on, Mom.
You know I end up
getting in trouble.
139
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:28,459
Do I have to remind you
that I gave you life?
140
00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:30,716
Yeah. But he can
take it away from me.
141
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:31,928
Junior,
go on in, please.
142
00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:33,059
(SIGHS)
143
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:35,061
Hey, Dad.
144
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,930
What're you up to?
145
00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:41,936
Nothing. I just gave away
my Masters jacket.
That's what I'm up to.
146
00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:44,709
By the way,
what're your plans
for the weekend?
147
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:45,838
I'm going to "none ya."
148
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:46,943
Where's that?
149
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:48,084
None ya business.
150
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:50,983
Well, what's your plan?
151
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,051
I don't have any.
152
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,479
Good. You know what?
Let me make you some plans.
153
00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:56,222
I tell you what.
You can plan on
154
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,489
washing my car and cleaning
the gutters this Saturday.
155
00:06:58,519 --> 00:07:01,959
Oh, Dad, I just remembered.
I have to go read
to some orphans.
156
00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:03,089
Too late.
157
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,062
Okay, what did he say?
158
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:10,104
He's playing golf
and I'm washing his car.
Thanks a lot, Mom.
159
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:14,695
Never send a boy
to do a woman's job.
160
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:20,511
Babe, are you gonna be
on that computer all night?
161
00:07:20,508 --> 00:07:22,108
Or you gonna
come to bed with me?
162
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:24,682
I'll give you a thriller
in the pillow.
163
00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:29,782
Hmm. A little rumble
in the jungle.
Heat between the sheets.
164
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:32,887
Oh, man. Baby,
what's going on here?
165
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,760
Hmm?
You ain't crashed
the car again, did you?
166
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,818
No, babe.
I mean, come on.
167
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:40,227
Can't a girl show her
beloved husband how much
she appreciates him?
168
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:43,000
Sure. Oh, that feels good.
169
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:44,900
Mmm. Like that?
Mmm-hmm.
170
00:07:44,932 --> 00:07:48,072
It's reflexology.
I'm stimulating
your chakras.
171
00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:50,201
This right here is
your throat chakra.
172
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,007
This right here is
your heart chakra.
173
00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:53,069
Mmm-hmm.
174
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,136
And this right here...
175
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:56,014
Uh-oh, that's
the Chakra Zulu.
176
00:07:57,778 --> 00:08:00,908
You're so crazy.
177
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:03,848
You still make me laugh
after all these years.
178
00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:06,994
You know, babe, sometimes
it just feels like yesterday
we got together, doesn't it?
179
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,190
It sure does.
180
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:09,721
Mmm.
181
00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:11,217
Mash that bunion
down for me.
182
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:16,225
Babe, how long
has it been?
183
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:18,233
I don't know.
It's been a while
184
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:19,825
since you played
with my chakra.
185
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:23,567
I'm talking about
how long have we been married?
186
00:08:23,571 --> 00:08:26,571
I don't know.
It just feels like forever.
187
00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,944
Oh, what chakra's that!
Oww!
188
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:37,748
Hey, I made some of
your favorite foods.
189
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:40,622
Whoa! What do
we have here?
190
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:44,124
Hot wings.
Hot tater tots.
Hot damn!
191
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:46,227
And peach cobbler
for dessert.
192
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:49,059
Peach...
Baby, what did I do
to deserve all of this?
193
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:51,256
Nothing. You just be
my baby, that's all.
194
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:54,068
Just be your baby?
Baby want to nurse
afterwards.
195
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:57,141
(BABBLING)
Just shut up. Stop.
196
00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:01,236
Girl, you sure know
how to spoil your man.
197
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,044
Mmm-hmm.
198
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:06,606
First you
make my Chakra Khan.
Chakra Khan. Chakra Khan.
199
00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:09,778
Stupid.
200
00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:12,287
And then, all of this.
201
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:16,119
Wait a minute.
Wait just
a doggone minute.
202
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:18,026
I know why you're being
so nice to me.
203
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,288
What're you...
I'm always nice, Michael.
204
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,627
No. You're so obvious.
205
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:26,233
You don't have to go
through all this to get
me to remember, baby.
206
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,296
Oh, Michael.
207
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:28,644
Yes.
208
00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:32,766
When I say
I'm gonna mow the lawn,
I'm gonna mow the lawn.
209
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:36,136
Mom, Dad, Claire's
driving me crazy and
I can't take it anymore.
210
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,036
What's wrong now, Junior?
211
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,777
She broke up with
her boyfriend, Tony.
212
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:41,012
Oh, thank the Lord.
213
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:44,718
But now she's playing
the same sad love song
over and over again.
214
00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:46,192
I can't concentrate
on my homework.
215
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:49,259
Oh, you got to concentrate
to bring home two Ds and an F?
216
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:51,089
What about the two Cs, huh?
217
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,264
See, he never remembers
the good stuff.
218
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:56,062
(EXCLAIMS)
219
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:01,232
Okay, come on.
Let's go talk to Claire.
We need to go talk to Claire.
220
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:04,638
"We"? Baby,
I thought that this was one
of those mother-daughter,
221
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:08,342
estrogenic type
of moments, you know.
222
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:11,305
No. I think
a male point of view
might help. Come on.
223
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:14,954
All right, baby. I'm coming.
Let's just hurry this up.
224
00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:16,652
And, Junior,
you touch my chicken,
225
00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:18,954
I'm gonna bend
your arm up like
one of them wings.
226
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,964
* No more drama in my life
227
00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:29,333
* No one's gonna
make me hurt again
228
00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:30,962
Claire, it's your
mom and your dad.
229
00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:34,698
* Hurt again
230
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:38,309
* Why'd I play the fool
231
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:41,108
* Go through ups and downs
232
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:46,051
* Knowing all the time
you wouldn't be around
233
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:48,179
* Or maybe
I liked the stress
234
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:51,045
* 'Cause I was young
and restless
235
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,294
* But that was long ago
236
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,260
* I don't wanna
cry no more
237
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:59,129
* No more pain,
no more pain
238
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,904
* Help me
239
00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:05,130
(TURNS MUSIC OFF)
240
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:09,195
Baby, we are so sorry.
We just heard about
your break up.
241
00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:12,306
Where did you hear it?
On clairecan'tkeepaman.com
242
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,239
I'll never walk out
of this room again.
243
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:15,244
You keep eating
all these goodies,
244
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:17,305
you're not gonna be able
to fit out the door.
245
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,214
Hey, you got to watch
your sugar intake.
246
00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:22,916
You're already
genetically predisposed
to being a little thick.
247
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,753
That wasn't
even necessary.
248
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,021
Baby, I'm just being honest.
249
00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:32,027
Do I run around the house
telling Junior
250
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:35,129
that he's genetically
predisposed to looking
like a brown egg?
251
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:40,130
Hello? Guys, this is
about me, remember?
252
00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:42,337
Oh, right. Yeah.
Oh, she's right.
253
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,469
Okay. Talk to us.
Tell us what happened.
254
00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:46,044
No.
255
00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:47,413
Okay. Fine.
I'll be downstairs
with my chicken
256
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,940
when you want
to open up. Okay?
257
00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:52,277
Great effort, Dad.
You're a regular
Bill Cosby.
258
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:57,052
(MIMICKING BILL COSBY)
Well, would you tell me
if I gave you a pudding pop?
259
00:11:57,084 --> 00:12:00,794
Perhaps you get
the flipped flavor--
260
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:03,791
Okay! I'll tell you if you quit
doing that bad impression.
261
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,034
How can you call
my impression bad?
262
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:09,298
I felt like I really captured
when I got into the back...
263
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:11,459
(MUTTERING COSBY IMPRESSION)
264
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,528
Dad, shut up.
265
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:16,796
I'm... I mean,
I'm really trying
to express how I feel.
266
00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,207
Okay. I'm sorry.
267
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,308
What happened, honey?
268
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:20,909
Tony is cheating on me.
269
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:23,911
I knew it!
I could tell by his
little, beady eyes.
270
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:26,554
Erica was at the one
basketball game
that I missed.
271
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,319
She said there was
a beautiful girl
there cheering
272
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:29,548
every time Tony
made a basket.
273
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,422
Say what?
Mmm-hmm.
274
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:37,288
That's it? That means
he was cheating?
275
00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:41,434
Well, isn't it obvious?
The one game that
my baby girl doesn't go to,
276
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:44,231
and that little rat-eyed boy
is looking for someone else.
277
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,274
No, stop.
278
00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:48,198
Baby, that's what rats do.
They start to scurry.
279
00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:50,895
They look around to see
what they can get
their little hands on,
280
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:53,268
and then they get trapped
by Bill Cosby.
281
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:55,936
(MIMICKING BILL COSBY)
And they start to run
and try to get on the wheel.
282
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:59,506
And they're moving their feet,
they're moving real fast
in the rat machine.
283
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:04,476
Hey, little rat fella,
I got a sweater
that looks like you.
284
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,317
And get this.
At the end of the game,
285
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:08,493
Erica asked her
why she was
cheering for him
286
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,591
and she said because
Tony was her sweetie-pie.
287
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,863
Mmm. Mmm-mmm.
Guilty as charged.
288
00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:15,431
Did you talk to Tony
about this?
289
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:16,932
Did you give him
a chance to explain?
290
00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:19,174
No. I told him
it was over
and I hung up.
291
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:22,439
Good for you.
Here's five M&Ms
for the courage.
292
00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:26,474
You know what?
You're really,
really not helping.
293
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,876
Baby, you have got to
communicate with Tony.
294
00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:30,909
That is the secret
to any good relationship.
295
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:33,954
How do you think
your father and I have
hung in there for so long?
296
00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:35,381
Unplanned pregnancies?
297
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:36,375
Ow!
298
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,586
You said you wanted
the male point of view.
299
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:40,418
I'm giving you
the male point of view.
300
00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:43,623
Go point your view
back at the television.
Bye-bye, Michael. Bye-bye.
301
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,186
Okay.
302
00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:48,329
And you all really
didn't like the Cosby?
303
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,433
(IN DEEP VOICE)
Hey, hey, hey.
Bye, Michael.
304
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:54,174
I'll be on my way.
305
00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:57,371
Claire, honey,
you cannot run around
angry at somebody,
306
00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:59,914
and they don't
even know why.
That's childish.
307
00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:02,977
Relationships are built
on honesty and trust.
308
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,310
Okay, Mom.
Okay?
309
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,305
Now, I need you
to do me a favor.
310
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,917
Go downstairs and spy
on your father for me.
311
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:20,392
Wanda, I'm telling you.
He's gonna come through.
I have faith in Michael.
312
00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:23,957
Yeah... Look, if you want
to give the ticket away,
just give it away, okay?
313
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:25,467
(DOOR OPENING)
314
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:27,936
Oh, hey, baby.
315
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,638
Hey, baby.
316
00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:30,939
Where you going so fast?
317
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,371
I got to go
to the bathroom.
318
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:33,365
What you got in your hand?
319
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,336
I told you I got to go
to the bathroom, right?
320
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:39,305
(SHRIEKS) Girl!
I told you Michael
was gonna come through.
321
00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:43,146
I just caught a glimpse
of a Tiffany's box
in the man's hand.
322
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:45,953
Yes. No, he ran upstairs
so he could hide it,
so he could surprise me.
323
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,646
I'll call you back
after I find it. Bye.
324
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:03,667
Where is it, where is it?
He always puts them in here.
325
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,213
No. He wouldn't
put it in here.
326
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,338
Where, where, where?
327
00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:16,351
Hey, baby.
What you doing up here?
328
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:17,483
Just relaxing.
329
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:21,187
Oh. You sure look cute
when you relax.
330
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:22,361
(GIGGLES)
331
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:36,173
Six, seven...
332
00:15:36,203 --> 00:15:37,273
What you doing now?
333
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:38,374
Pushups.
334
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:39,505
But I thought
you was relaxing.
335
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,439
No. I got tired
of relaxing.
336
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:44,284
Well, if you're gonna
do it, you got to go
all the way down.
337
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,211
Go all the way.
338
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:47,276
Now, that's a picture.
Twelve.
339
00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:48,554
Yeah.
It's harder, too.
340
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:49,721
I know. Yeah.
341
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:51,647
Twelve...
342
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:53,094
(PANTING)
343
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,690
Okay. All right.
344
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:58,532
Come on.
I think he would...
345
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:02,504
Oh, man.
346
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:08,500
(EXCLAIMS)
347
00:16:11,238 --> 00:16:12,668
What is going on
out here?
348
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:14,605
I'm... I'm cleaning out
the closet.
349
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,377
With what? A bomb?
350
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,181
Did you fall?
I heard a noise.
351
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:24,376
Oh, I'm fine.
352
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:25,487
You sure? You positive?
353
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:27,148
Mmm. Yes.
354
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:28,587
Okay. Could you go
make me a sandwich
please, baby?
355
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:29,621
I'm starving.
356
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,364
Okay, Michael.
357
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,162
Just leave that for later.
358
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,497
Hey, babe.
359
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:42,172
Yes?
I forgot to
give you something.
360
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:43,372
You did, Michael?
361
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:45,143
Mmm-hmm.
You did?
362
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:46,442
Okay. You got to
close your eyes.
363
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:48,583
Okay.
364
00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:50,138
You know what
I'm gonna give you?
365
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:51,677
No!
Do you have any idea?
366
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:53,481
I don't have a clue.
367
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,353
Okay. I'm gonna
give you some sugar.
368
00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:01,490
Sugar!
369
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:04,085
Yeah. Thanks.
370
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:15,103
Okay, baby.
Now's a good time.
371
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,535
He's eating.
He's vulnerable.
372
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:18,609
Like a gazelle
at a watering hole.
373
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,284
Mom, you're gonna
get me in trouble.
374
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:25,380
You already got Junior
on carwash duty.
375
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:29,422
Your dad's not gonna
punish you.
You're his favorite.
376
00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,519
After Kady.
Now get in there.
377
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:36,618
Hi, Dad.
378
00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:38,126
Hey, baby.
379
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,132
What's going on?
380
00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:42,557
Nothing. And what's
going on with you?
381
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,125
Nothing.
382
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:46,328
(LAUGHING)
383
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:57,138
What's so funny?
384
00:17:57,177 --> 00:18:00,177
Oh, nothing.
It was just this episode
of The Flintstones.
385
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:03,183
It was the one where Fred
forgot their anniversary
386
00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:06,286
and Wilma hit him
in the head with this
big Brontosaurus bone.
387
00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:08,894
Did you ever
see that one?
388
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,221
No.
389
00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,588
Oh, but I did see
the one where Fred
390
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:16,196
had this evil twin
and he was walking
around going
391
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,569
Yabba-Dabba-Doo!
392
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:21,168
Yabba-Dabba-Doo!
393
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,301
Yabba-Dabba-Doo...
394
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:28,176
Yabba-Dabba-Doo.
Yabba-Dabba,
Yabba-Dabba-Doo...
395
00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:30,175
Dad, will you shut up?
Hmm?
396
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:32,177
Shut up?
397
00:18:32,179 --> 00:18:34,179
This is the second time today
you told me to shut up.
398
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:36,184
You know what?
You're grounded
Saturday, miss.
399
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:40,346
I'm grounded?
That's not fair!
Why am I grounded?
400
00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:42,917
This is one of those
great moments
in parenting. Okay.
401
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,185
Now, I want you
to look at my face
402
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:48,295
and see how happy I am
as I respond to your answer.
403
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:52,428
Okay? I want you to watch
this eye in particular,
what it does. Okay.
404
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:53,495
Ask me again.
405
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:55,203
Why am I grounded?
406
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:59,308
Because... I said so.
407
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:00,869
You see how it rolls up
like that?
408
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:05,406
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
What did you find out?
409
00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:08,215
I found out that
I'm grounded Saturday,
thanks to you.
410
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:14,954
So, you know Saturday
is a special day
for Daddy and me, right?
411
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,287
I know.
412
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:18,293
You know?
What do you know?
413
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:20,355
I heard Daddy
talking about stuff.
414
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:24,503
You did? Come here, baby.
Come here. Sit next to Mommy.
What did Daddy say?
415
00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:28,341
Well, he said he was gonna
have to call his friends.
416
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:29,568
I'm gonna have a party.
417
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:31,242
(LAUGHING)
418
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:32,971
I'm gonna have a party.
419
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:35,235
(EXCLAIMS)
Tell me! Really?
What else?
420
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:36,975
He got a driver.
421
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,849
I'm gonna get a limo, too?
422
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:41,378
But he said he was gonna
have to stick it
in the same old bag.
423
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,815
Oh, no. He...
424
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:47,451
He means he's playing golf.
Come here. Come here.
425
00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:52,759
Listen to me.
I need for you
to go downstairs
426
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:57,902
and talk to your father
and see what he's planning
on Saturday evening, okay?
427
00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,430
Okay. I'll see
what I can dig up.
428
00:19:59,466 --> 00:20:02,236
That's my girl
right there.
Oh, Kady.
429
00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:03,739
Be inconspicuous.
430
00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:04,970
Okay.
431
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:06,514
All right.
432
00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:10,535
Hey, baby.
433
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:13,477
Daddy, Mommy wants to know
what you're planning
for Saturday.
434
00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:14,553
Golf.
435
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:16,551
What about Saturday night?
436
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:20,253
Saturday night?
Oh! The fight is on
Saturday night.
437
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:22,320
Okay.
438
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:23,515
Daddy?
Hmm?
439
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,386
What's "inspisuous"?
440
00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:26,785
Inconspicuous?
441
00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:28,456
Uh-huh.
It's everything
you're not.
442
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:35,396
A fight Saturday night?
443
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:36,895
That's what he said.
444
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,366
Oh, there's gonna be
a fight, all right.
Thank you, Kady.
445
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:46,276
MICHAEL: Next time on
My Wife and Kids...
446
00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:49,353
Oh, Claire. Your daddy
is something else.
447
00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:52,692
Girl, he really had me
going for a while,
then he sent me these.
448
00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:54,749
"Love, Tony." Tony?
449
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:56,487
Oh, my God.
They're for me.
450
00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:58,063
What?
451
00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:01,330
You forgot what today is.
The most important day
of our lives!
452
00:21:01,328 --> 00:21:03,428
And you went
to go play golf.
453
00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:05,063
Oh, that felt good.
454
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:09,867
Janet Marie,
will you marry me tonight
for our anniversary?
455
00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:12,671
Yes!
456
00:21:12,705 --> 00:21:14,465
(SINGING BACK AT ONE)
457
00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:19,646
Oh, my God.
Tell me that is not
Brian McKnight.
458
00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:20,749
That's not
Brian McKnight.
459
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,080
Yes, it is, Junior.
460
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:23,554
Then why did you just
tell me to tell you...
461
00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:24,783
Shut up, boy,
and get me
to the altar.
462
00:21:24,817 --> 00:21:25,787
(SIGHS)
32816
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