Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,580
(SIGHING)
(CHEERING ON TV)
2
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:09,639
(TURNS OFF TV)
3
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,307
What is it?
4
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,275
Nothing, nothing.
You look busy, it's okay.
5
00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:14,484
Yeah, this is
a good game, Jay.
6
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,515
(TURNS ON TV)
7
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:17,119
Oh, man,
this is a good game.
8
00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,651
Jordan is shooting
the ball beautifully.
9
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,486
He's playing
like the old Jordan.
10
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,391
He is the old Jordan.
11
00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:25,355
(SIGHING MELODRAMATICALLY)
12
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,432
(MUTES TV)
13
00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:30,433
Jay, what's going on?
14
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:32,804
Okay, you really
want to know?
15
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:35,273
Look at me.
16
00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:38,413
Look into my eyes, Michael.
Look into...
17
00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:40,139
My eyes.
18
00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:43,084
Is this leading to nakedness,
or is this just conversation?
19
00:00:43,111 --> 00:00:44,181
What do you mean,
just a conversation?
20
00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:47,282
Let me finish.
Because if it's
just conversation,
21
00:00:47,315 --> 00:00:50,445
then your beauty
is way too distracting.
Okay?
22
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:52,424
But if I just look
straight ahead...
23
00:00:52,453 --> 00:00:54,623
Yeah, like where
the television is.
24
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:56,215
Okay, I was thinking
more of the doorknob,
25
00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:58,087
but let's go
with the television.
26
00:00:58,126 --> 00:00:59,126
Mmm-hmm.
27
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,460
Then I can listen to you
28
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:06,225
and not be mesmerized
by your dazzling essence.
29
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,300
Uh-huh.
30
00:01:08,336 --> 00:01:12,206
Come on, Michael.
I have a problem,
and I wanna talk about it.
31
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:15,982
Let's talk.
32
00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:18,449
I'm bored, I'm bored,
I'm bored, I'm bored.
I'm bored.
33
00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:20,479
Watch this game.
This is a great game.
34
00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:22,424
Oh, will you please
listen to me?
35
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:23,780
Since I've been
out of work,
36
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:25,187
I've cleaned
every single inch
of this house,
37
00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:28,819
I've cooked everything
there is to cook on
the Martha Stewart website.
38
00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:31,386
I've done every project
I've put off
for the past 17 years.
39
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:32,785
I mean,
look at this.
40
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:35,356
I've organized
every child's
memory chest.
41
00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:37,566
They're not old enough
to have memories.
42
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,428
And none of them
have developed
a chest yet.
43
00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:42,798
Come on,
doesn't this ring a bell?
Look at this.
44
00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:45,306
It's Junior's first
big boy drawers.
45
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:49,239
Yeah, and I remember
the big doo-doos
he left in these drawers.
46
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:52,911
What about this?
Remember this haircut?
47
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,516
Oh, Kady's first.
48
00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:56,348
No, your last.
49
00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:57,494
(SIGHING)
50
00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:59,448
Hey, look at this.
Remember this guy?
51
00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:03,857
Oh, yeah, babe.
This is Claire's
E.T. doll. Oh!
52
00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:05,791
She used to drag
this poor thing
everywhere.
53
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,526
Yeah, her first love
was an alien.
54
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:11,401
That explains
her taste
in that boy, Tony.
55
00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:13,802
Anyway, don't you see
my dilemma?
56
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,944
I've done everything
there is to do
around here.
57
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,209
I sure wish
I was more productive.
58
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:19,569
Hey, I got an idea.
59
00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:21,907
If the Wizards
take another timeout,
60
00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:23,212
I got something
for you to do.
61
00:02:23,211 --> 00:02:24,611
Like what?
62
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:27,515
Well, it depends on
if it's a 20-second timeout
or a two-minute timeout.
63
00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:30,348
Michael, come on!
I wanna talk about stuff.
64
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:31,424
What stuff, baby?
65
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,292
I don't know!
Like...
66
00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:36,862
Hey, babe.
67
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,330
Are you still having
that problem
68
00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:40,229
with your
accounting department
at work?
69
00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:41,831
Nope, got rid
of the accountant.
Problem gone.
70
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:42,702
Really?
Yeah.
71
00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:44,900
That really must
be an inconvenience.
72
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:45,932
Not really.
73
00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:48,536
Hey, babe.
74
00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:50,299
Remember when
you first started
the business?
75
00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:51,508
I used to do
your accounting.
76
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:54,239
Butt-naked audits.
I remember that.
77
00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:56,382
I sure miss
those days, boy.
78
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:57,880
I wonder
where this is going.
79
00:02:57,911 --> 00:02:59,411
I want a job.
80
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:01,824
You have a job.
81
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:07,259
You have the most amazing,
most beautiful job
on the planet.
82
00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:10,458
You're a mother.
A mother, Jay.
83
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,563
Well, if being a mother
84
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:21,300
is so noble,
why don't men do it, huh?
Why don't you do it, Michael?
85
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:24,805
I can hardly
pass this beer,
let alone a baby.
86
00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:25,708
Come on, let me have
the remote back.
87
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:29,279
No! No, you gotta
come better than that.
88
00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:31,450
Jay, look,
it's the last minute
of the game.
89
00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:34,279
(IN SINGSONG)
That doesn't
interest me!
90
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,349
Okay, I'll tell you what.
91
00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:38,894
Instead of me hiring
one of those pesky temps,
92
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,289
why don't you
just come in
and help out?
93
00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:41,791
(GASPS)
94
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,292
Babe, you want me
to work for you?
95
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:45,364
If it's gonna end
this conversation, yeah.
96
00:03:45,393 --> 00:03:47,803
(EXCLAIMING)
Baby, that is so sweet!
97
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,298
You are so smart
and so wonderful.
98
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,030
And you know
I'm good with numbers,
right, baby?
99
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,904
And everybody knows
I'm already sleeping
with the boss.
100
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:55,765
Love you!
101
00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:57,003
See? There's not
a problem I can't fix.
102
00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:59,337
And I'm about
to fix you.
103
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:03,312
Got it.
104
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,523
Hi, kids.
105
00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:12,922
Hey, Dad,
aren't you gonna
have breakfast?
106
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:14,723
Nope, I don't
have no time.
107
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,685
Your mother wants
to get an early start
at work today.
108
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,664
You guys are gonna
work together?
109
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:21,562
That's right.
Your mother
is my new accountant.
110
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,825
(LAUGHING)
What happened?
Did you lose a bet?
111
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,703
Hey, baby.
Do I look nice?
112
00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:31,535
Do I look stupid?
You look perfect.
113
00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,472
Mom, what are you doing
with my old E.T. doll?
114
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:34,677
Oh, I found him
last night.
115
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,478
I'm thinking about
giving it to Kady.
116
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:37,650
(IN CHILDISH VOICE)
If that's okay?
117
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,748
I'm 15. Hello?
118
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,750
You know,
I used to love
that doll, too.
119
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,552
Oh, that's right.
You used to call him
your little wrinkly pal.
120
00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:44,794
Mmm-hmm.
121
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:47,388
Oh, that was E.T.
he was talking about.
122
00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:50,856
Mommy, can I wear
two different shoes?
123
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:52,661
Are they both yours?
Yes.
124
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:53,933
JAY: Okay!
125
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:58,366
Mmm, yeah,
he's so cute.
126
00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:00,599
Here she comes.
127
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,374
What's behind
your back, Daddy?
128
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:03,740
It's a magical surprise.
129
00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:04,841
Is it money?
130
00:05:04,872 --> 00:05:07,712
Only for Steven Spielberg.
131
00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:10,541
Kady, I want you to meet
your new best friend.
132
00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:12,848
Say hello to E.T.!
133
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:14,977
(SCREECHING)
134
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,522
(RAP SONG PLAYING)
135
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,556
That's my song.
136
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:34,535
Are you really
listening to that?
137
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:38,871
Not anymore, huh?
138
00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:40,406
(TURNS OFF RADIO)
139
00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:42,411
I wanna talk
about work.
140
00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:44,553
I wanna talk about
what you expect of me,
my responsibilities.
141
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:45,948
I wanna talk about that.
What do you want to do?
142
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:47,619
Okay. You are
an accountant.
143
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:48,748
Mmm-hmm.
144
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:52,892
And I expect you
to account.
145
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,590
And you know what
we just added to
your job description?
146
00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:57,593
You're in charge
of turning the radio
up and loud
147
00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:58,725
and back to that station.
148
00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,829
Michael, can we forget
the radio?
149
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,431
I want you to tell me
what you want me to do
as your accountant.
150
00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:05,501
I don't... Jay...
Baby, whatever
you wanna do.
151
00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:06,703
You just
knock yourself out.
152
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,844
Pull over! Pull over!
Whoa! What?
153
00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:11,938
Is that Freddie,
our dry-cleaner?
154
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,542
Where, under the bus?
155
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,814
No! What you talking about?
In the cleaners.
156
00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:17,713
I did not know
they were open
this early.
157
00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:20,445
Jay, you made me
pull over
three lanes of traffic
158
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,721
to see if Freddie
was in the dry-cleaner?
159
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:24,490
Yes, 'cause now
I can run in there
160
00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:26,688
and see if he got
that wine stain
out of our tablecloth.
161
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,460
Oh, no.
Hey, hey, hey.
Jay, Jay.
162
00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:30,186
I didn't get up
an hour early
to run errands.
163
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,633
Is that what
you thought
I was gonna do?
164
00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:33,489
Excuse me,
but this is
very efficient.
165
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:35,457
Now I don't have to
look for a parking space.
(SCOFFS)
166
00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:37,733
Yeah.
(MIMICKING JAY)
But I do.
167
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,602
I'm starting
to get it.
168
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:42,904
I'm ruining
your morning ritual,
is that right?
169
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:44,136
Yes, you are.
170
00:06:44,171 --> 00:06:46,841
You are ruining
my damn ritual.
171
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:48,714
Jay, when I get up
in the morning,
172
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,812
I get in the car,
I don't...
I don't run errands.
173
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,484
I turn on
the radio,
174
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,883
I put on a little
seat heat,
I like to fart, and...
175
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,675
You know,
so that when
I give the...
176
00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:58,487
What, you crying?
177
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,789
I wanted you
to be proud of me!
178
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:04,632
I am proud of you.
Look at my chest,
all puffed out. I'm...
179
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,228
That's proudness for you.
No.
180
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,899
I'm with Jay, hey.
181
00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,499
No, Michael. No!
182
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,801
I wanted
our first day at work
to be special!
183
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:15,143
I wanted to look good,
and I wanted
to make you proud!
184
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,138
But it is...
Jay, I'm proud.
185
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,070
You're having
second thoughts about me
going to work with you,
186
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:21,576
I know. I can tell.
(BABBLING INCOHERENTLY)
187
00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:23,609
You look beautiful.
No. I know you...
188
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,084
You're beautiful,
listen to me.
189
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,652
No, Michael,
I feel...
190
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,620
I want you to
be there
with me at work.
191
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:31,179
I ain't...
Hey, look at me.
192
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:35,088
I need you
to be working
with me.
193
00:07:35,756 --> 00:07:37,156
Please?
For real?
194
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:38,760
Pretty please?
195
00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:40,693
For real, for real?
196
00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:42,798
For real, for real,
for real.
197
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:44,830
Thank you, baby.
198
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,703
Okay?
199
00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:48,765
Oh, look!
The nail salon
is open, too.
200
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,642
Maybe I can get
a quick polish.
I'll be back.
201
00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:56,535
What have I done?
202
00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:59,105
...street construction here.
203
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:00,706
So you might wanna
reverse your route
204
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:02,578
and kind of sneak around
through the back way.
205
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,046
Yeah, good.
That'll work.
206
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,854
Hi, sweetie!
207
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:08,016
Hi, RJ,
how you doing?
208
00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:09,885
No, no, no,
don't get up.
209
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:16,225
What... What are these?
210
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:17,733
Oh, these are
all my files.
211
00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:19,725
I know. Why...
Why are they
in my office?
212
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:21,667
Oh, have you been
in that accountant
office lately?
213
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:22,802
It's all dusty
and dingy.
214
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,606
I mean, really,
who could work there?
215
00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:26,638
Accountants?
216
00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:28,614
Yeah, well,
this is much nicer.
217
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:30,082
Are you kicking me
out of my office?
218
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:32,010
Of course not,
sweetie.
219
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:34,715
You're gonna sit on
this side, I'm gonna
sit on this side.
220
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:36,578
No, no. That...
That doesn't
work, Jay.
221
00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:38,087
Of course, it'll work.
You want me to show you?
222
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,218
Okay. RJ,
move over a little bit.
223
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,823
No, a little bit...
224
00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:46,727
So, RJ, what
were you guys
talking about?
225
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,329
You see, I have
this Brooklyn route,
226
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,634
and there's
construction
going on,
227
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:54,596
so we were
talking about it.
228
00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:56,702
Yeah, I told him
to work it backwards.
229
00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:59,307
What? That's
a terrible idea, Michael.
230
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:01,679
You're gonna have him
running into all that
rush hour traffic.
231
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:03,609
No, RJ, what you
need to do
232
00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:05,681
is you need to use
all the cross streets
up and down
233
00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:08,053
and avoid all
the main arteries.
234
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,781
Backwards?
Silly man.
235
00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:14,050
That's a great idea,
Mrs. Kyle. Thanks.
236
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:16,657
Oh, you're welcome, RJ.
237
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,830
Could you stop
that, please?
238
00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:21,089
I'm tapping, Jay.
It clears my head.
I tap.
239
00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:22,758
Yes, well,
it's very annoying.
240
00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:25,796
Well, it's not annoying me.
Is it annoying you, RJ?
241
00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:27,643
(INTERCOM BUZZING)
242
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:30,636
Hello? Yes.
243
00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:33,235
It's for you.
Oh, okay.
244
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:36,812
I'll just take that
out there.
245
00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:38,354
Good idea.
246
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:40,378
You know, I really
should get another line
put in here.
247
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:43,023
I'm not comfortable yet.
I'm really not.
248
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:48,259
How did this
happen, boss?
249
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:52,088
There's 30 seconds left,
Jordan had the ball,
she had the remote.
250
00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,198
Hey. What are
you doing?
251
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,773
Changing
little Pipi's pants.
She had an accident.
252
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:04,143
Can E.T. and I play?
253
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:05,771
You can,
but it can't.
254
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:09,036
But E.T.'s totally magic.
Everybody knows that.
255
00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:10,376
He better have
something going on,
256
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:14,110
'cause he looks like
a chewed-up Milk Dud.
257
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,747
Oh, come on, Kady.
258
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:19,694
Once you get to know him,
you'll realize ET's
all about love
259
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,090
and kids and just
wanting to go home.
260
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,662
Who's stoping him?
261
00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:27,261
No offense, but it's not
like Little Pipi's such a babe.
262
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,034
But he's got
a bald head
263
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:30,032
a long neck
264
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:31,933
and skinny fingers.
Uhhh!
265
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,295
You just described dad.
266
00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:36,372
Have you ever seen
a dad doll?
267
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:37,713
No.
268
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:39,108
I rest my case.
269
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:42,944
JAY: I've been
over the books
and over the books
270
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,136
and over the books
and over the books.
271
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:45,907
I mean,
sure, the books
are in order,
272
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:50,016
but running a business
is so much more
than just solid finances.
273
00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:52,251
Good night, Jay.
274
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:55,257
Good night.
275
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,118
The lounge,
for instance.
276
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,957
When was the last time
the coffee machine
was cleaned?
277
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:01,032
And why don't
we have
a healthier menu?
278
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:03,201
Those snack machines
are all filled with sodium,
sugar, and preservatives.
279
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:06,100
You know,
the guys really
need their fiber.
280
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,098
They're truck drivers, Jay.
281
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:11,036
The last thing
you wanna do
is give them fiber.
282
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:14,011
Okay? One bump,
and we're changing uniforms.
283
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,277
Okay? Good night.
Uh-huh.
284
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:19,911
Good night.
285
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:26,991
And the trucks.
Why isn't your picture
on a truck?
286
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,920
As a matter of fact,
why isn't our picture
on the truck?
287
00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:30,486
Aren't we as good
as Manny, Mo, and Jack?
288
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,493
See, I know the names
of the three Pep Boys,
289
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,795
because their faces
are on the truck.
290
00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:37,928
Talk about
an excellent marketing ploy,
I tell you!
291
00:11:37,965 --> 00:11:41,195
Jay, let's recount
our day together, huh?
292
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:43,174
Okay. We drove
to work together.
293
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,773
Mmm-hmm.
294
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:47,135
We had breakfast together.
We spent the day together.
295
00:11:47,174 --> 00:11:50,144
We had lunch together.
We came home together.
296
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:51,947
We ate dinner together.
297
00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:53,979
We spent
the evening together.
298
00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,924
Right now,
don't take this wrong,
299
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:58,089
I just wanna
shut up together.
300
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:00,152
Can we do that?
301
00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:01,487
Mmm-hmm.
302
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:06,825
(SOFTLY)
Thank you.
303
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:15,140
I know I should shut up
and I'm babbling
like a brook,
304
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:19,138
but I really, really think
that I have this great idea
about starting this website
305
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:22,012
that will increase
our business by 20%...
306
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,836
What do you say
we paint this weekend?
307
00:12:48,836 --> 00:12:50,466
Yes, ma'am.
Just me?
308
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:53,073
No, all the guys.
We'll have a paint party.
309
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,506
I'll bake cookies.
It'll be great.
310
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:56,541
Yes, ma'am.
311
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:59,276
Hey, what are
all these things
around the office?
312
00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:00,312
I see them everywhere.
313
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:02,117
Just gentle reminders.
314
00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:04,179
"Feet on the floor,
not on the table.
315
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:07,147
"Don't be a grouch,
I know that you're able."
316
00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:09,115
And where's Feeney?
317
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:11,256
He's not on his route,
and he's not on the dock.
318
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,991
I gave him
a personal day off.
319
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:14,226
You what?
Yes.
320
00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:15,861
It's his seventh
wedding anniversary.
321
00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:17,333
What are you supposed
to get for the seventh?
322
00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:19,104
Copper, brass,
or bronze?
323
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,032
We gotta send them
something
from the company.
324
00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:22,468
We do send them
something from the company.
325
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:25,542
Every week.
It's called
a paycheck.
326
00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:28,442
You know, they have some
beautiful brass candlesticks
down at Bloomingdale's.
327
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,105
Do they? They sure...
Yeah.
328
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,513
You know what?
Pick those up
for me, too.
329
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,184
Yes, ma'am, that way,
when I get
your baguettes,
330
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:34,313
they won't be stale.
331
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:37,317
No, no, no.
We do not use trucks
to run errands.
332
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,220
No, baby,
I can fix it
in the books.
333
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,152
It'll look like
he's working.
334
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:43,488
You know what, RJ?
Forget that assignment.
335
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:45,293
Your break was over
five minutes ago.
336
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:48,095
Actually, I gave the guys
an extra 15 minutes.
337
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:49,398
And why,
pray tell?
338
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:53,129
Because I thought
that it would make them
more productive.
339
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,496
Well, you know what, Jay?
They're truck drivers.
340
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:57,404
They are only productive
when they're driving trucks.
341
00:13:57,437 --> 00:14:00,567
Actually, boss,
I'm feeling
a little more tranquil.
342
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,377
Really? You know,
they're teaching tai chi
343
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:05,049
down at
the unemployment office.
344
00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:07,008
Ooh, look at the time.
345
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:13,049
Jay, you cannot come in here
and undermine
my authority like this.
346
00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:14,486
It's my authority, too.
347
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,091
And how is it
your authority?
348
00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:17,493
We're partners,
remember?
349
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:21,494
Yeah. At life, in love,
in bed, we're partners.
350
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:24,058
Here, this is work.
We're not partners here.
351
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,267
Then why do
we share an office?
352
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:26,528
We don't share
an office.
353
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:28,266
You're trespassing
in my office.
354
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,271
Hey, hey,
you hired me,
remember?
355
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:31,973
No, I didn't
hire you, Jay.
356
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:34,165
I asked you
to come in
and help out,
357
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,237
because you were
bored at home.
358
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:37,436
You know what? We don't
even have to discuss this
right now, okay?
359
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:38,277
Good, we don't.
360
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:40,281
Because we have
all the ride home
361
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:42,583
and all night long
to hash this out.
362
00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:49,116
You crack a smile,
you're working
Christmas Day.
363
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,004
Hey, where's Junior?
364
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,172
He's in the yard
with the telescope.
365
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,170
Okay, gotta talk to him.
366
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,542
Oh, by the way,
I left you a gentle reminder
on the stove.
367
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,971
Well, all right.
You did that?
368
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:08,144
Yes, I did.
369
00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:12,145
Finally getting
with the program.
I like that, baby.
370
00:15:12,179 --> 00:15:15,149
Oh! "The kids and I
are getting much thinner
371
00:15:15,182 --> 00:15:19,052
"because the new accountant
forgot to make dinner."
372
00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:20,986
Very funny, Michael.
373
00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:27,088
So what are you
looking at?
374
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,997
Cassiopeia.
375
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:31,059
That the Wilsons'
new maid?
376
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,274
Dad.
377
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,140
Can't I joke
with you anymore?
378
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:37,538
Sure, just let me know
when you start.
379
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:42,241
(SIGHING)
380
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:45,175
Something
bugging you, Dad?
381
00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:48,052
Well, not...
Not bugging me per se.
382
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:52,391
But I could use
a sounding board,
if you would listen.
383
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:55,719
You're coming to me
for advice?
Oh, this is a first.
384
00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:59,255
I know.
My back is really
against the wall here.
385
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,762
Look, it's...
It's like this.
386
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:05,404
Your mother
is working with me now,
and she's driving me nuts.
387
00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:08,702
Oh, Dad.
Oh, you should have
come to me sooner.
388
00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:10,095
Sit down.
389
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:15,777
Okay.
390
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:18,108
The way I see it
is, you have
three choices.
391
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:20,145
A, you could
suffer silently
392
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,680
and be miserable
for the rest
of your life.
393
00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:26,445
Two, you can sell
the business and
become a tuna fisherman.
394
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:28,787
And why would
I do that?
395
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,291
I love tuna.
396
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:34,760
Let me get
right to D.
397
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:35,804
"D"?
398
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,068
D, fire Mom.
399
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:41,473
Wow.
400
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,341
Yeah, I know.
401
00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:46,440
But there really
are no other choices,
except for A and two.
402
00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:53,208
Come on, baby.
Just watch
the first 10 minutes.
403
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:55,346
If you don't like it
after that,
you can turn it off.
404
00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:57,282
Is that thing in it?
405
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,117
Yes. The thing is in it.
406
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,252
Then, no.
407
00:17:00,287 --> 00:17:02,387
Come on.
Everybody loves E.T.
408
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:04,362
They're even
putting it back
in the theaters.
409
00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:05,761
I don't care.
410
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,232
You know who's
in this movie, too?
411
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,300
Who?
412
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,658
The girl from
Charlie's Angels.
413
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,697
The cockeyed
Chinese girl?
414
00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:17,442
No. The one
with red hair
and brown roots.
415
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:18,770
Drew Barrymore.
416
00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:20,405
The one who twirls
and kicks?
417
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,180
Yeah, your favorite!
418
00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:25,109
Why didn't
you say so?
Turn it on!
419
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:27,183
Baby, made you some tea.
420
00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:29,124
Oh, thank you.
421
00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:31,747
Here you go.
Mmm.
422
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:32,994
You know what?
This reminds me.
423
00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:35,719
We should stop
using those paper cups
at the drivers' lounge.
424
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:37,815
On our way to work,
let's stop
at Pottery Barn
425
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,427
and pick up
some nice ceramic mugs.
426
00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:40,629
Okay, Jay?
Yeah?
427
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,460
You're fired.
What?
428
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:43,695
I gotta let you go.
429
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:44,800
Come again?
No.
430
00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:47,671
Don't come again.
431
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,800
Wait a minute.
You're actually
firing me?
432
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:51,636
Yes, but with love.
433
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:52,571
"You're fired," right?
434
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,405
Like what-happened-
at-my-last-job fired?
435
00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:57,741
Listen, Jay, this working
is coming between you and I.
436
00:17:57,777 --> 00:18:00,647
We're being hurt by this.
I'm not doing it for me.
437
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,250
I'm doing it for us.
438
00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:04,782
Oh! Oh, really?
439
00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:05,947
Okay, well,
you know what?
440
00:18:05,985 --> 00:18:09,485
I sure hope
"us" is gonna be happy
sleeping on the couch.
441
00:18:15,228 --> 00:18:16,258
All right!
442
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:17,896
All right.
Fresh off the stove.
443
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,770
There you go, Junior.
Thank you.
444
00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:22,399
Nice and crunchy
for you, baby girl.
445
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,865
Kids.
Here's some for Mommy.
446
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,814
Don't I get
a waffle?
447
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:29,839
Oh, I wasn't accounting
on you eating.
448
00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:31,876
Oh, come on, Jay.
Don't do this to me.
449
00:18:31,911 --> 00:18:33,781
Oh, don't worry,
I don't have
any intention
450
00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:36,223
of doing anything
to you anymore.
451
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:39,190
Okay, I'm going
to school.
Me, too.
452
00:18:39,186 --> 00:18:40,246
Bye.
453
00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:44,322
Wow, you're fast.
454
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,930
Hey, I see you and E.T.
finally got acquainted.
455
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,603
(MIMICKING E.T.)
Kady love E.T.
456
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:57,343
Baby! I told you
he was special!
457
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:58,910
Now, what do you want
for breakfast?
458
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:00,938
Reese's Pieces.
459
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,213
Oh, really?
460
00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:06,310
Well, E.T., did you know
if Kady eats candy for
breakfast, she gets punished?
461
00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:09,216
Yeah. Now you know
what "E.T." stands for.
462
00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:12,286
"In trouble."
463
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:19,233
Well, since there's
no food here for me,
464
00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:22,396
I guess I'll pick up
some coffee
on the way to work.
465
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:32,607
Look, Jay,
this is stupid, okay?
466
00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:37,379
We've been together way
too long to be playing these
silly little childish games.
467
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,850
(MUTTERING)
468
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:41,249
Well, unlock it.
469
00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:43,878
(MUTTERING) I can't
unlock it, 'cause you
threw it out there!
470
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,316
I understood
everything you said.
471
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:48,656
You hurt me, Michael.
472
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:51,258
Baby, I know
it must hurt,
and I'm sorry.
473
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,661
But I didn't know
what else to do.
474
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:55,762
I mean, even Junior told me
I should fire you.
475
00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:57,695
I'm serious.
476
00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:59,800
I thought I was
doing great things.
477
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,902
I thought I was doing
great things for our
employees, for our business.
478
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:04,304
Baby, you are smart
and you are capable,
479
00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:07,537
and I am so lucky
to have you as a partner.
480
00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:09,944
Your partner?
Does that mean
you're hiring me back?
481
00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:11,606
(GASPS)
Yes. Listen, Jay.
482
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:15,354
I know that you've been bored
staying at home. Okay?
483
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:18,992
And if you got another job,
I'd probably
never see you anymore.
484
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:22,318
So, hiring you back
is a good compromise.
485
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:23,885
Baby, you won't
regret this.
486
00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:26,663
Honey, I have so many ideas,
especially with marketing.
487
00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:29,333
I have us going national
in five years, I promise.
488
00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:31,762
Okay, okay.
And it all sounds
wonderful, okay?
489
00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:33,628
But you gotta
know this, Jay.
490
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:37,766
At work,
I'm the boss, okay?
I'm the exalted ruler.
491
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:40,711
I'm the grand poobah.
492
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:43,780
I am the king of that
entire domain, okay?
493
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:45,680
Yes, Your Highness,
Your Majesty.
494
00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:46,752
Thank you.
Yes.
495
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:48,519
Oh, Grand Poobah?
Huh?
496
00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:50,678
Grab the trash
on your way out.
497
00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:52,687
Yes, my queen.
498
00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:57,618
See you at work.
Bye.
499
00:20:57,957 --> 00:20:59,327
(GIGGLING)
500
00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:05,970
Ooh, that maid is hot.
501
00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:12,765
I love you, E.T.!
Show me the magic.
Let's fly!
502
00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,978
(CRASHING)
(CAT MEOWING)
503
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:25,716
KADY: (MIMICKING E.T.) Ouch.
35217
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof