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1
00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:08,413
Hey, what do you think
about my suit?
2
00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:10,112
Uh-uh. That's
a loaded question.
3
00:00:11,079 --> 00:00:12,479
Why?
4
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:15,653
Because you want me
to say, "Oh, is that new?
It makes you look so thin.
5
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:19,523
"And the color
just makes your eyes
jump out and dance."
6
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:21,423
That's not what
you were thinking?
7
00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:23,415
No. Here's what
I was thinking,
8
00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:27,197
"Whoo!
Michael Jordan is back!
9
00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:29,158
"And what is that
annoying sound
in my ear?"
10
00:00:29,197 --> 00:00:31,097
Oh, hi, Jay.
11
00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:35,402
"I wonder what color panties
she got underneath that suit."
12
00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:39,636
I'm serious. I wanna look good
for Take Your Daughters
To Work Day.
13
00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:42,283
Jay, you're missing one of
the biggest points about
going to work.
14
00:00:42,310 --> 00:00:43,380
And what is that?
15
00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:46,481
People have jobs to get
away from their children.
16
00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:49,284
Yeah? Well, I'm thrilled
my daughters are gonna be
with me.
17
00:00:49,317 --> 00:00:51,247
Especially today.
Why today?
18
00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:54,555
I put all my clients
into this Bergstrom
Technology stock,
19
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:56,488
and today they announce
their quarterly earnings.
20
00:00:56,524 --> 00:01:01,634
So my girls are gonna see
an entire brokerage house
say, "Go, Jay. Go, Jay.
21
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:04,332
"It's your big day.
It's your big day."
22
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,170
Are you ready to go, Mommy?
23
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:11,372
Oh, look at her.
She looks like a
little Janet Jackson.
24
00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:14,643
Five, four, three,
two, one.
25
00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:19,207
Hey, what are you doing
with my camera, young lady?
26
00:01:19,247 --> 00:01:22,317
No, baby. I have
Claire making a video
about her day with me.
27
00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:25,850
You know she has that
Take Your Daughters To Work
Day project at school, right?
28
00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:28,286
Babe, that was supposed
to be just a one-page essay.
29
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:30,222
Michael, you're
thinking so small.
30
00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:34,158
On paper,
it's a mere essay,
but on video, it's an epic.
31
00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:36,462
I just know
we're gonna get
an A on this one.
32
00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:38,267
Oh, my God.
Listen to you.
33
00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:40,869
We? We?
34
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:45,171
Michael, come on.
I'm just encouraging her
to be all she can be.
35
00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:49,536
Claire!
Okay, let's hear
your opening line.
36
00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:52,847
Good morning.
This is Claire Kyle
with the Claire Kyle Report.
37
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,620
Whoa! Don't knock us
out with all that energy.
38
00:01:57,518 --> 00:02:00,888
What is wrong with you?
You did it perfectly upstairs.
39
00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:01,961
Come on, Claire.
40
00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:05,259
If you tried, you could
be the next Barbara Walters.
41
00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:06,293
Who?
42
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:09,357
It's that chick on ABC
that can make anybody cry.
43
00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:12,895
Even Mr. T.
He'll start out
44
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:15,443
talking 'bout
"I pity the fool
who mess with me."
45
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:16,899
And by the time
she's finished, going,
46
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,707
"I am the fool.
Pity me.
47
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:20,539
I made her cut
my pants too tight."
48
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:22,484
Ha ha ha.
Laugh all you want.
49
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:23,680
But today Clair
is going to see
50
00:02:23,711 --> 00:02:25,611
how women succeed
in the workplace.
51
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:26,776
Whatever.
52
00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:27,884
Clair, come on,
53
00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:29,945
you could be
a really good reporter.
54
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,223
And a good reporter
never quits.
55
00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:33,393
You have to be agressive.
56
00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:34,921
You've got to sniff
out the story
57
00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:35,955
no matter where it leads you.
Right, baby?
58
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,289
That's right.
59
00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:40,325
Right. Come on.
Junior, I'm leaving.
60
00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:41,431
All right. Bye, Mom.
Bye.
61
00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:43,402
Bye, ladies. Love you.
ALL: Bye.
62
00:02:43,431 --> 00:02:45,271
This is so unfair.
63
00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:47,299
How come Clair gets
to ditch school and I don't?
64
00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:48,695
Oh, you can
ditch school.
65
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:50,666
You can come
load refrigerators with me.
66
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:53,244
We'll call it,
"Work Your Son Like
a Slave Day."
67
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:55,311
I'll go to school.
68
00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:57,776
And speaking
of school, son.
69
00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:59,351
Have you given
any thought to what
70
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:00,650
you're going to be
whan you graduate?
71
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,621
Besides 28 years old?
72
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:06,250
After high school
I plan to travel the world
for a couple of years.
73
00:03:06,254 --> 00:03:07,524
Just to find myself.
74
00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:09,255
Yeah, you're going
to find yourself broke.
75
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:12,390
No I won't.
'Cause I plan on
taking over your business.
76
00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:15,256
Let me burst that
little bubble, really quick.
77
00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:17,873
I'm not working this hard
to build a company
78
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,468
and then leave it
to someone
79
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:22,000
who can't even remember
to flush the toilet.
80
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,895
I'll be right back.
81
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:28,379
God, please let him
be a late bloomer.
82
00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:36,277
Come on, let's just
start filming, okay?
83
00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:37,954
Your job is boring.
84
00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:40,715
For your information, missy,
some of the most
important people
85
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,624
walk through that door
every single day.
86
00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:44,356
Muffin guy.
87
00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:45,862
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know
you were busy.
88
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,303
No, it's okay, Jimmy.
89
00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:48,655
Hey, I want you to
get this on camera.
90
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:50,796
This is Mommy interacting
with the people.
91
00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:54,941
Jimmy. Hi.
How you doing?
No muffins for me. Yuck!
92
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,768
What're you talking about?
You always get two chocolate,
93
00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:59,314
chocolate chip muffins
with extra cream cheese.
94
00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:01,307
No, I don't.
95
00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:03,709
Uh, yeah, you do.
96
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:06,754
And then you say,
"If I eat it standing up,
it's no calories."
97
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:10,820
And I pretend to laugh,
and you tip me, like,
50 cents.
98
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:12,791
Give me
the damn thing, Jimmy.
99
00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:15,888
Put it on my tab!
100
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:16,963
All right.
All right.
All right.
101
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:19,830
I'll be back with your
double cheese bacon burrito
102
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:24,030
and your Cajun fries,
'cause you can't forget
madame's Cajun fries.
103
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:29,804
Don't forget my Diet Coke.
104
00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:33,937
Now I see a story.
"Jay Kyle, cheating dieter."
105
00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:36,644
(LAUGHS) You want to see
the inside of the GAP again,
106
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,347
you might wanna
cut that scene out.
107
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,620
Knock-knock.
108
00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:42,749
Who's there?
109
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,623
Kevin.
Kevin who?
110
00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:45,892
Kevin Anderson.
111
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:47,359
That's not funny.
112
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,691
Kevin.
113
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,633
Girls, you know my boss,
Mr. Anderson.
114
00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:52,829
Hi.
Hi.
115
00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:54,730
Hello.
Claire's doing
a school report
116
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:56,902
on the day in the life
of a successful broker.
Isn't that great?
117
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:59,900
Yeah. Jay, I need to
talk to you in private.
118
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,103
Uh, no, Kevin, look.
119
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,665
There's nothing you can't say
in front of my girls, okay?
120
00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:06,605
I want them
to experience
the gritty truth,
121
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,880
the cutthroat business
that this really is. Okay?
122
00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:10,909
So, let me have it.
Hit me. What's up?
123
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:12,914
Uh, okay.
Am I in the frame?
124
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:14,006
Yeah.
125
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:15,875
Jay, you're fired.
126
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,786
What?
127
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,088
I think I just
found my story.
128
00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:20,789
What do you mean
you're firing me?
129
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,821
I'm sorry.
We have to let you go.
130
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:25,786
But I made this company
a lot of money, Kevin.
131
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,396
Well, the gritty
truth is
132
00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:28,825
we lost it all
today.
133
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:31,002
Bergstrom Technologies
went in the crapper.
134
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,931
Well, Kevin,
this is who I am.
135
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:34,836
I'm a stockbroker.
It's all I know.
136
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,498
You can't fire me!
137
00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:38,967
- Yeah, that's right!
- Owww!
138
00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:40,813
This isn't fair,
Kevin.
139
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:41,681
Life isn't fair.
140
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:43,609
Don't make this any harder.
Go, Jay.
141
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:45,414
But...
Go, Jay.
It's your last day.
142
00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:46,653
But...
It's your last day.
143
00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:51,015
There we have it.
The face of humiliation.
144
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:52,591
A mother's disgrace.
145
00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:55,120
Out of work, overwrought
and overweight.
146
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:57,115
I'm sorry, Kevin.
I'm not going anywhere.
147
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:58,987
If you want me
out of here
148
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,786
You're going
to have to throw me out
149
00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:02,758
and I don't think
you're man enough
to do it.
150
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,526
You're right,
I'm not.
151
00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:05,865
But he is.
152
00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:16,542
Hi, baby.
Hi, Daddy.
153
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,177
How was your day at work?
154
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,611
Mommy got laid.
155
00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:22,147
Off. Laid off.
156
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:24,022
Oh, I'm sorry.
What happened?
157
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:26,051
(SIGHS)
158
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,716
Bergstrom Technologies went
in the toilet, and so did
my career.
159
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:38,467
(DISHES CLATTERING)
160
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:41,637
What're you looking for?
Nothing.
161
00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:43,039
I just feel like
slamming things.
162
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:44,744
(SIGHS)
163
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,612
Honey, what happened?
164
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,680
That beady-eyed little weasel
made me take a fall
165
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,739
for a one-day
stock fluctuation.
166
00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:53,048
You know
how many times
I saved his sorry butt?
167
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,650
How many times I covered
for his stupidity, Michael?
168
00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:57,793
I have a golden
gut, Michael.
169
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:01,122
I know I was right
about that stock.
170
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:05,034
Every instinct in my body
tells me they sold that
stock too soon.
171
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:07,228
Do you know the PE ratio
on that stock?
172
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,760
What's a PE ratio?
Shut up!
173
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:12,674
You're just like him!
You're bald and male!
174
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:15,174
Baby, I'm sorry.
175
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:18,642
Oh, I bet you are sorry.
Oh, you're sorry, huh?
176
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:23,012
Sorry I'm here now
to cook and clean for you
and wait on you hand and foot.
177
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:25,553
I bet you're sorry, huh?
You happy about that, Michael?
178
00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:27,719
You happy?
You happy, Michael? Happy?
179
00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:29,718
Well, you know...
Shut up!
180
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:32,950
Will you stop interrupting me?
I do not want your answers.
181
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:36,186
I don't want you to fix this.
I just want to yell
for a while.
182
00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:37,763
Is that all right with you?
183
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,162
I'm talking to you!
184
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:42,103
I don't know what to say!
185
00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:46,132
Come here, Jay. Come here.
186
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,166
Michael, I worked
so hard on this.
187
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:49,401
I know you did.
188
00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:52,966
Baby. Baby,
I researched this
backwards and forwards.
189
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,976
I know.
This was supposed to
be good for everybody.
190
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:57,178
I know. I know. I know.
191
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,210
You sure you're
not happy about this?
192
00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:00,976
Jay, how can I be happy?
193
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:03,654
You get fired.
When you cry, I cry.
194
00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:09,121
(INAUDIBLE)
195
00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:13,762
Did you get it?
I got it.
196
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:27,111
Jay, what're you doing up?
It's 5:00 in the morning.
197
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:29,940
Oh, please.
I've been up for hours.
198
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:31,677
You know what
I was thinking, babe?
199
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:34,652
I should really
put a positive spin
on all of this, right?
200
00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:35,982
I guess. I mean,
201
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,586
you know,
even a kick in the pants
is still forward movement.
202
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:41,049
Exactly. Exactly. See...
203
00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:44,118
There are tons of projects
that I can finally get to
around this house.
204
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:46,857
Like, look.
Already this morning
I defrosted the freezer,
205
00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:50,004
I cleaned out the gutter,
and look at this, baby,
look at this.
206
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:54,670
I organized the cereals
according to sugar content.
207
00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:55,842
Since you got
all this energy,
208
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,969
why don't you come upstairs
and rearrange my sock drawer?
209
00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,005
(LAUGHS)
210
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,709
What, you my boss now?
211
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:07,006
Oh, oh, oh.
You just snap your
fingers and I move, huh?
212
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,847
I just move, huh?
213
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,682
Jay, relax.
214
00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:13,118
(SIGHS)
Baby. Baby,
you are so high-strung.
215
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:16,123
Look, I guess I am
a little tiny bit tense.
216
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:19,126
Tiny bit?
Your shoulders
feel like rocks.
217
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:20,629
(SIGHS) I know.
218
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:23,261
Michael, I just keep
seeing in my head, over and
over again, me getting fired
219
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:24,996
over and over again.
220
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:27,032
Well, look,
let's take your
mind off of this.
221
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,937
You wanna do
that couple's yoga tape
that Dr. Bouche gave us?
222
00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:32,840
You'd really
do that with me?
But you hate yoga.
223
00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:34,143
Yeah. But I love you.
224
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:36,284
And I'd do anything
to see you relax.
225
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:39,079
Baby, this is so relaxing.
226
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:41,782
Yeah, as long as she
don't say, "Breathe deeply."
227
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:44,893
Now breathe deeply.
228
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:51,930
Our next
position is called
the downward facing dog.
229
00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:53,889
JAY: Oh, I love this one.
230
00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:56,728
(GRUNTS)
231
00:09:56,764 --> 00:09:58,234
Yeah, that is a good one.
232
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:00,396
(BARKS)
233
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:06,213
It's time for you and your
partner to heighten your
state of intimacy.
234
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:09,009
Yeah. That's what
I'm talking about.
235
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:13,252
Close your eyes,
hold your partner's hand,
236
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,280
and feel the union
of your spirit.
237
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:19,317
MMM, I feel it.
You feel it?
238
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:22,922
Now get ready
to really connect.
239
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,156
Connect, baby.
240
00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:28,201
It's time to achieve
the ultimate esctasy...
241
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:30,862
by stopping.
242
00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:33,398
- What?
- You heard me.
243
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,743
Stopping talk.
244
00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:38,239
Communicate with
your partner
245
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:40,311
while I hum
for you.
246
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,310
(HUMMING)
247
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:45,212
Oh, baby,
this is so great.
248
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,805
Thank you
so much.
249
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:49,247
(HUMMING)
Oh, your welcome.
250
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:52,890
Turn that tape off
before I choke that lady
251
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,390
through the TV.
252
00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:01,727
Hey, babe.
What're you up to?
Hey.
253
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:02,832
I'm done.
254
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:05,274
With what?
Everything.
255
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,798
There's nothing else
for me to do.
256
00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:09,465
There's got to be
something to do.
Why don't you...
257
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:13,312
What is it?
What? What? Tell me.
I'll do anything else.
258
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,740
I don't know.
Why don't you do
Kady's hair or something?
259
00:11:15,743 --> 00:11:16,983
Oh, I did Kady's hair already.
260
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,010
Kady, come in here!
261
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:21,047
Whoa!
262
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,921
It's like
Honey, I Shrunk Buckwheat.
263
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,052
Don't you love it?
264
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:30,787
(IMITATING PORKY)
Looks otay.
265
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:33,494
Oh, baby. So,
what're you doing?
What're you up to?
266
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,826
Tell Mommy everything.
267
00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:38,973
Mom, I play and I poop.
That's all I do.
268
00:11:41,468 --> 00:11:42,798
Can I just
have an apple?
269
00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:45,006
Yeah. Oh, baby,
you can have an apple.
270
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,308
You want it peeled,
cored, candy, or baked?
271
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:49,981
I just wanna eat it.
272
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,950
Oh, fine.
All right. Here you go.
273
00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:55,421
Good luck.
274
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:08,033
You're a good-looking man.
275
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:11,229
Thank you.
276
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,874
Love you.
277
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:13,930
I love you, too.
278
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:16,337
I love being here.
279
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:18,369
Everything's done.
280
00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:28,276
(SIGHS)
281
00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:30,475
I'm just happy
watching you,
you know.
282
00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:32,924
Good.
283
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:36,563
I love watching your eyes
when you read.
284
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:39,829
The way
your shirt moves
when you breathe.
285
00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:45,829
And I just noticed the way
your jaw clenches when
I'm talking.
286
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:48,497
What's wrong, baby?
287
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,336
Nothing.
288
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:55,911
Nothing? And now there's
a little vein pulsating
right there at your temple.
289
00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:58,913
Come on, baby. If there's
something bothering you,
you can talk to me.
290
00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:00,946
Tell me.
I will not get upset.
291
00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:05,021
Okay, Jay,
I think you've become
a teeny bit too efficient.
292
00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:06,322
What do you mean by that?
293
00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:10,418
That. That. That's
what I'm talking about.
294
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:13,457
Ever since
you stopped working,
you can't stop working.
295
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:16,933
You're starting to
exhibit what some might call
obsessive-compulsive behavior.
296
00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,304
That is not true.
297
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:20,471
Yes, with some
serious mood swings.
298
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,500
So, what're you
saying, Michael? Huh?
299
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:25,537
What're you saying?
300
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,306
(STAMMERING) Well, I'm...
301
00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:30,941
You're saying I'm an
empty shell of a woman,
that's what you're saying!
302
00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:31,978
No!
303
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:33,582
You're saying
I'm a lousy housewife!
304
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:35,353
No...
You're saying...
305
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:38,552
No, I got what
you're saying, Michael.
I got what you're saying.
306
00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:42,185
You're saying,
apparently, I can't
function in a workplace,
307
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:43,462
so I can't function here.
308
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:48,500
Well, let me
tell you something,
Mr. I Still Got My Job.
309
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:51,428
Why don't
I just lay myself
on the front porch,
310
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:53,504
(STOMPING)
and y'all can just
use me as a welcome mat?
311
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:54,943
How about that?
312
00:13:58,538 --> 00:13:59,908
Great coffee.
313
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:05,009
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
314
00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:16,586
Jay, will you stop
watching this stuff?
315
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:20,333
It's the only thing
I can relate to, Michael.
316
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,530
It's in Spanish.
317
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:25,402
It doesn't matter whether
it's in Spanish, Swahili
or Russian.
318
00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:27,942
The only language
I understand is loser.
319
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,236
Okay.
320
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:33,641
You know what?
I'm really glad
you did that.
321
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:36,043
Because I can't stand to see
these commercials anymore.
322
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:38,376
The new Tide works
and I don't.
323
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:42,051
Jay, look.
Let's put on
that yoga tape.
324
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:43,522
That helped you before.
325
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,290
(SIGHING) Michael,
326
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:48,218
I was positive
that stock was gonna
work and I was wrong.
327
00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:52,625
You gotta let it go, baby.
Stop looking at the glass
as half empty.
328
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:55,629
You know, the only thing
in my glass right now
329
00:14:55,662 --> 00:15:00,332
is the dust from the leftover
crushed dreams of what
could've been.
330
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,641
Damn!
331
00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:05,970
Is there anything
I can do for you?
332
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,013
Yeah. Wanna fool around?
333
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:13,511
I'm all yours.
334
00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:16,346
Yeah, you sure make
that look good.
335
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:19,323
Come on, baby,
clean yourself up.
Let's go out to dinner.
336
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:22,262
Hear some jazz music.
Candlelight dinner, huh?
337
00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:24,623
(SOBBING)
338
00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:28,599
What? What did I say?
339
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,658
You're too good for me.
340
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,271
Can't use that footage.
341
00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:41,206
You were filming that?
342
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:44,381
Yeah. Mom told me
no matter what, to be
aggressive and get the story.
343
00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:46,211
What's wrong with her?
344
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:48,646
Look, she took
a really hard fall,
345
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:52,421
and it's gonna take all of us
to help put those pieces
back together.
346
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:55,262
I don't know.
It seems like she's
being over-the-top to me.
347
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,618
I think she's
blowing this thing
way out of proportion.
348
00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,687
No, it's kind of like...
349
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:02,656
Remember when
you got thrown off
the cheerleading squad?
350
00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:04,255
(SOBBING)
351
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,402
You just had to bring
that up, didn't you?
352
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:14,740
Okay. I'm two for two.
353
00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:25,586
You look great, Mom.
Where are you going?
354
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,188
I'm going to the cleaners.
355
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,420
Dressed like that?
356
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:31,285
I don't want anybody
to know I got fired.
357
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,634
Oh. Well,
if you have
some time later,
358
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,300
I could sure use some
help with my homework.
359
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,728
Sure.
What're you working on?
Shakespeare.
360
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,370
Shakespeare?
361
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:42,669
Yeah. I don't understand
all the thous,
thys and this's.
362
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:45,112
Honey, I love Shakespeare.
363
00:16:45,138 --> 00:16:47,468
I've read all 37 plays.
Which one are you
working on?
364
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:50,137
The one where the
guy dies at the end.
365
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:51,577
Hand me the book, Junior.
366
00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:55,653
Junior, this is Othello.
You should love this.
367
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:59,192
It's full of betrayal,
sex and murder.
368
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:01,149
Oh, there's sex in this?
369
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:04,218
It's full
of heaving bosoms
and throbbing loins. Yes.
370
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:07,527
Well, that sounds cool,
but I can't figure out
how to read it.
371
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,530
You know what?
It's a matter of getting into
the rhythm of the language.
372
00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:12,273
It's sort of like rap.
373
00:17:12,299 --> 00:17:14,129
You can't understand half
the things they're saying,
374
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:15,697
but sometimes
you can feel it, right?
375
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:17,595
Yeah, that's deep, Mom.
Thanks.
376
00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:20,307
Hey, I'm deep, Junior.
377
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:23,180
So, I'll tell you what,
I'll help you work on
it tonight.
378
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:24,240
Okay? What do you say?
379
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:25,347
Oh, cool.
That sounds great.
380
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,348
Cool. You got a date.
381
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:28,580
Hey, Mom.
Yeah.
382
00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:30,516
I love you.
383
00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:33,645
I love you, too, Junior.
384
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:39,588
Hey, where you going?
385
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,226
To the mall.
386
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:43,131
Oh. You finished
with your movie project?
387
00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:45,370
Well, I was
kind of hoping
for a happy ending.
388
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:48,298
Oh, you are a sweet girl.
389
00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:51,135
You dress like a hussy,
but you're a sweet girl.
390
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:52,811
Mom!
What?
391
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:56,179
What? I'm sorry. Why don't you
go to the mall and get some
decent clothes, Claire?
392
00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:57,609
Like what?
393
00:17:57,644 --> 00:18:00,554
I don't know. Something that
doesn't show your appendix.
394
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,620
Mom, I wear what
all the other kids wear.
395
00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:04,419
Well, if you keep
thinking like that,
396
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,891
you're gonna end up
like all the other kids.
397
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,259
Claire, why don't you
try this?
398
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:10,218
Why don't you try
some brighter colors?
399
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,023
Really?
Yeah.
400
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:15,158
Well, why don't you come and
help me pick out some stuff?
401
00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:17,862
(IMITATING VALLEY GIRL VOICE)
What? You'd actually
want to be seen at the mall
402
00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:19,197
with your mom?
403
00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:23,372
(IMITATING VALLEY GIRL VOICE)
I do if she's
got her credit cards.
404
00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:26,843
Okay. Okay.
Why don't I drop this off
and we can head over there?
405
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:30,243
Okay. But
if we see anybody I know,
you're my aunt from Florida.
406
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:33,247
Okay. If we see
anybody I know,
it's my day off.
407
00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:43,292
And now, again,
for her spring look,
we have Claire Kyle
408
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:45,893
modeling her
beautiful ensemble,
409
00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:48,255
set off with
stacked Mary Janes.
410
00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:51,395
Hey, there's a stacked
Mary Jane in my class
I'd love to try on.
411
00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:53,401
(LAUGHS) Why don't you
try this on?
412
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:54,503
Ow!
413
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:57,596
That hurt.
414
00:18:57,637 --> 00:19:00,237
Yes, it's supposed to hurt.
It's a tragedy by your
favorite author.
415
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:01,643
It's Richard III.
Oh.
416
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,914
Sounds like you guys had
a great time at
the mall today.
417
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:05,553
We really did.
418
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:08,218
Yeah. Mom ate two
humongous cinnabuns.
419
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:09,278
Really?
420
00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:11,446
They were stuck together.
421
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,224
They were.
422
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:17,263
Well, Kady and I
haven't been sitting
on our hands, either.
423
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:19,890
We actually worked
on a little something
to entertain you with.
424
00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:22,356
Here's the booty trumpet.
Go ahead.
425
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:24,395
Thank you, Daddy.
Mmm-hmm.
426
00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:29,301
I will now play
You Are My Sunshine
on the booty trumpet.
427
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:30,636
Drum roll, please.
428
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:37,606
Uh-oh!
429
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,620
It was hilarious.
Did you see her face?
430
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:46,489
I didn't teach her that part.
She improvised in a hurry.
431
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,789
Oh, it feels
so good to laugh.
432
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:51,921
Yeah? Well,
I got some news that
may cheer you up even more.
433
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,488
What? You gonna clean
Kady up?
434
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:56,256
No. Not that good.
435
00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:58,426
Hey, you know my friend
Eric Goldman?
436
00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:01,295
His bank does
a lot of business down
at this brokerage firm,
437
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:03,304
and they're looking
for a liaison.
438
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:06,436
Now, it may not be definite,
and it'll probably
be part-time,
439
00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:08,413
but he thinks
you'd be great.
440
00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:12,980
That is the nicest thing
you have ever said to me.
441
00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:15,783
I'll give him a call.
442
00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:16,845
Are you sure about this,
Michael?
443
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:20,853
You know, right now
you have the perfect world.
444
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:25,287
Jay, my world
can never be perfect
unless you're happy.
445
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:29,525
You know what?
You just earned yourself
some downward facing dog.
446
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,969
And I got a shock
for you, honey.
447
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,841
Mmm.
I am happy.
448
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:39,409
You know, today,
I got to help Junior
with his Shakespeare,
449
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,269
and to tell you the truth,
I was beginning to feel like
450
00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:43,538
that boy wasn't
all that bright.
451
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,776
I still feel that way.
Mmm.
452
00:20:45,812 --> 00:20:47,382
But he is, Michael.
453
00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:49,324
He just needed some
personal attention
from me
454
00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:50,949
that I haven't
been able to give him.
455
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:53,053
And then, going to
the mall with Claire,
456
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,385
you know,
she's as shallow
as a kiddie pool.
457
00:20:57,089 --> 00:21:02,359
But I actually got to get
her to put some clothes on.
458
00:21:02,395 --> 00:21:05,825
To cover the belly button
and everything.
And that's major.
459
00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:08,795
So, what do you think?
460
00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:11,935
I haven't
heard anything you said
since "downward facing dog."
461
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,381
Kevin,
what're you doing here?
462
00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:25,446
You were right about
Bergstrom Technology.
463
00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:27,045
They got a big
government contract today.
464
00:21:27,086 --> 00:21:29,016
Their stock
is through the roof.
465
00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:32,355
All the clients
want you back.
With a big raise, of course.
466
00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:34,089
Wow, that's
really flattering.
467
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,396
Well?
468
00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:36,528
Um...
469
00:21:36,563 --> 00:21:39,073
(EXCLAIMS)
Come on, Kady.
470
00:21:39,098 --> 00:21:40,968
You can't use your hands.
No hands.
471
00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:45,466
Thank you,
but no thank you.
472
00:21:45,505 --> 00:21:47,435
Come on, Jay.
473
00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:49,544
You said yourself,
this is your life,
this is who you are.
474
00:21:49,576 --> 00:21:53,376
Mmm. Yeah. I am
a very good stockbroker.
475
00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:57,450
But, Kevin,
this is my life
and this is who I am.
476
00:21:57,484 --> 00:21:58,724
You won't
change your mind?
477
00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:01,551
No.
478
00:22:01,588 --> 00:22:04,858
You bought a bunch of
Bergstrom Technology
yourself, didn't you?
479
00:22:04,891 --> 00:22:08,401
(LAUGHS)
A ton. Bye-bye.
480
00:22:10,497 --> 00:22:11,997
Wait for me.
34620
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