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1
00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:07,213
Ooh.
2
00:00:10,078 --> 00:00:13,348
Man. Be strong, Jay.
Be strong, be strong.
3
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:14,351
(HIGH-PITCHED) Eat me!
4
00:00:14,382 --> 00:00:15,382
(NORMAL VOICE) Huh?
5
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:18,287
(HIGH-PITCHED) Eat me!
6
00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:21,758
(NORMAL VOICE) Come to mama!
7
00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:24,186
Ah-hah!
8
00:00:25,493 --> 00:00:27,333
Michael!
Gotcha!
9
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:28,801
Michael!
10
00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:31,669
Another entry on
the Wall o' Shame.
11
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:32,869
Michael, don't you dare!
12
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:37,140
Do I put this next to
Kady with her foot in
the toilet,
13
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:39,511
or Junior with his thing
caught in the zipper?
14
00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:43,309
Zipper!
15
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:46,154
And why isn't any
of your pictures up
on the Wall o' Shame?
16
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:49,150
Because it's my camera,
it's my wall,
17
00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:50,683
and it's your shame.
18
00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:53,790
JAY: Hi, baby.
Hi, Mom.
19
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:55,421
Hi, Dad.
Hey, how was school?
20
00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:58,856
School was terrific.
I love learning.
21
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:02,332
(EXCLAIMS) Don't you guys
look fabulous today!
22
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:05,703
Dad, you're getting so buff,
you're ripping out
of your shirt.
23
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,170
(LAUGHS)
The answer is no.
24
00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:11,637
No, what?
25
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:13,742
(LAUGHING)
Whatever it is you're
about to ask us for.
26
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:15,214
The answer is no.
27
00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:17,453
It's just a party
at Shane's house.
28
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,378
No. You are too young
to go to parties.
29
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,223
The only thing there is
horny boys, naive girls,
30
00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:24,350
and loud music that make
you want to bump nasty.
31
00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:26,245
(EXCLAIMS)
Uh-huh.
32
00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:27,887
See, when me and
your mother used
to go out dancing,
33
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,791
it was a dance
that's a dance,
like this.
34
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:32,433
Maybe I could turn her
around and see her butt.
35
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:33,830
But I had to do it quick.
36
00:01:35,363 --> 00:01:37,173
Nowadays, you all start
to dance like this...
37
00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:38,828
(IMITATING DANCE BEAT)
38
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:45,405
And there's nowhere to
go after that, except
maybe the maternity ward.
39
00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:47,777
Thanks for not trusting me.
40
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:50,308
You're welcome.
It's my job.
41
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:54,383
(HUMMING)
42
00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:55,845
What'd I do?
You're humming.
43
00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:57,293
You're humming.
What did I do?
44
00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:58,788
What?
45
00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,789
Any time
you start the humming,
I did something wrong. What?
46
00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:02,821
Okay, you want to know what
you did wrong? I'll tell you.
Yes.
47
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:04,786
I think you're being
unfair to your daughter.
48
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:08,195
Honey, I love you.
The sex is incredible.
49
00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:09,799
But I disagree.
50
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:13,300
Honey,
it's not a school night.
The sex isn't that great.
51
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:17,706
And how is she ever
going to learn to be
responsible and mature
52
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:18,968
if we don't give her
a chance to prove it?
53
00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:22,406
Hey, she can do all that
when she's married and
out of my house.
54
00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:24,783
Oh, Michael!
Yeah.
55
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:27,252
Can I at least go to
Erica's house for
a sleepover?
56
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:29,381
Shante is going to
be there, too.
57
00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:31,317
No. No.
Yes.
58
00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:34,362
Don't you agree, Michael?
Yes...
59
00:02:35,256 --> 00:02:37,826
(ENUNCIATING) Yes!
60
00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:40,228
Yes. It's fine with me.
61
00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:41,701
Thank you.
62
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:45,300
(HUMMING A TUNE)
63
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:50,240
* Jesus, take this
burden off my heart *
64
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,774
(HUMMING)
65
00:02:54,742 --> 00:02:56,942
What? What? What?
66
00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:58,577
It's just a sleepover.
67
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:01,582
No. It's just a sneakover.
68
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:03,775
See, she's going to
pretend to go to her
friend's house,
69
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,787
and then she's
going to sneak
over to the party.
70
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:07,259
No.
You can't see that?
71
00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:12,331
Erica, you should
have seen them.
72
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,930
They totally fell for it.
73
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:16,831
I did the
"Shante is going to
be there too" thing.
74
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:18,674
That was the clincher.
75
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:23,595
And then my dad goes,
76
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:24,837
(IMITATING MICHAEL)
"You're too young
to go to any parties."
77
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:27,342
I don't think so.
Fact of the matter is,
78
00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:29,005
I'll be at a party tonight.
79
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,942
I know. Can you
believe our parents?
80
00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:33,978
(LAUGHING) They are so lame!
81
00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:42,288
Hey.
82
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:43,523
Jay!
What?
83
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,887
I just got firsthand
conclusive knowledge
84
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:50,496
that Miss Claire Marie Kyle
is actually planning to go
to Shane's party tonight.
85
00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:52,371
Really?
Mmm-hmm.
86
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,640
Wait! How did
you come by this
firsthand information?
87
00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:58,939
Well, I was picking
up the phone to make
a phone call
88
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:01,312
Uh-huh.
and I realized that
89
00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:04,379
she was on the other end,
so I patiently waited
Yeah.
90
00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:06,952
with the phone to my ear.
91
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:08,520
In other words,
you were eavesdropping.
92
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,449
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
93
00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:15,324
I was monitoring
the suspicious activity
of a suspected partygoer.
94
00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:19,063
Michael, you know how
I feel about spying on
the kids. It's wrong.
95
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:22,332
But Jay, she's in there
calling me lame.
96
00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:23,600
You are lame!
97
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:27,068
You're violating your
children's rights.
98
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,640
Look, the only rights
my children have is the
right to remain silent,
99
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:33,541
and anything they say to
a phone call to their friends
100
00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:37,954
can and will be used
against them in my court.
101
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:41,618
Okay. My children
have rights, and I refuse
to be a part of this.
102
00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:43,649
Come on, Jay.
No.
103
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:48,364
Outsmarting your children
is the only real perk you
get at being a parent.
104
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:51,559
I mean, otherwise,
you're just changing
diapers, paying bills,
105
00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:53,892
and doing all that
nurturing crap.
106
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,262
(LAUGHING)
107
00:04:56,364 --> 00:04:58,874
Fine. But I'm gonna
go to that party and
I'm gonna bust her.
108
00:04:58,899 --> 00:04:59,869
Go.
I'm gonna put
a picture of
109
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,700
Miss Perfect right here
on the Wall o' Shame.
110
00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:11,578
Get out!
111
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,452
I have to tell
you something.
112
00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:15,481
Not now, Kady.
I'm busy.
113
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,986
Okay. Don't get
mad at me when you
get busted.
114
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,448
Wait!
115
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:20,587
What did you say?
116
00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,921
Oh, nothing.
You're too busy!
117
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:25,526
I'm never too busy
for my favorite
little sister.
118
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,059
(CHUCKLES)
119
00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:29,604
Don't insult
my intelligence.
120
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,530
Okay, I'm sorry.
121
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:34,435
Look, you said something
about getting busted?
122
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:35,968
What did you mean?
123
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,940
Is that licorice?
124
00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:40,472
It sure looks good.
125
00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:42,878
It is good.
What do you want?
126
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:48,446
Look at all these licorice.
127
00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:52,050
How about two?
128
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,515
Call me when
you get serious.
129
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,855
Wait. You can
have them all!
130
00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:58,891
Info first.
131
00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:01,626
I need a little taste
to jog my memory.
132
00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:10,666
It's all coming
back to me now.
133
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:15,083
Daddy
134
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,978
knows about the party
and he's going to go
and catch you.
135
00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:21,081
Oh, my...
How do you know?
136
00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:23,124
A little birdie
told me.
137
00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:24,920
Can I have my
licorice now?
138
00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:27,052
You get half now,
and half when you
finish the job.
139
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:28,257
What job?
140
00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:30,988
I need you to page me
when dad leaves the
house tonight.
141
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:32,134
You're on your own.
142
00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:33,989
Wait!
143
00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:38,099
Okay. I just typed in,
"Baldy's on his way."
144
00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:41,071
When dad leaves
the house tonight,
press this button,
145
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:43,071
and I'll get the message
on Erica's pager.
146
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,143
Any questions?
147
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:48,482
Yeah. Why do you put
socks in your bra?
148
00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:49,876
Get out!
149
00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,791
Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.
I'm off to Erica's house.
150
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,490
Wait! Hold on.
151
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:02,862
What about my kiss?
152
00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:05,994
Have fun at the party.
153
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:08,556
It's not a party, Dad.
It's just a gathering
at my friend's house.
154
00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:10,496
I meant the slumber party.
155
00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:13,128
You say "potato,"
I say "p-party."
156
00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:16,102
Okay, Dad.
157
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,540
(CHUCKLING)
158
00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:21,542
Oh, I'm going
to bust her, Jay.
159
00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:23,175
And you know why?
Why?
160
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,040
Because...
161
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:27,147
* My girl likes
to party all the time
162
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:30,880
* Party all the time
Party all the time *
163
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,217
Hey, where are
you going?
164
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:37,825
I think I'll go take
the dog for a walk.
165
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,788
We don't have a dog.
166
00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:44,027
In that case, I think
I'll go bust my daughter
at her party.
167
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:46,174
Sure you don't
want to come along?
It's going to be fun.
168
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:49,239
No. I trust
my children.
169
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:51,040
Yeah, well
I don't.
170
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,041
They're even guilty
when they're sleeping.
171
00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:54,113
Watch this.
Hey, Junior!
172
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:55,541
Ahhh!
I didn't do it.
173
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,680
I swear, dad,
I didn't do it.
174
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,177
Okay I did it.
I'm sorry.
175
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:05,221
I'll go
clean it up.
176
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,791
See.
Hey, are those butter?
177
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,563
- Yeah.
- Gotcha!
178
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:12,832
...Michael.
179
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,560
Now I'm going
to get clair
180
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,155
and put her
on the wall of shame.
181
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,900
Excuse me.
Where you going?
182
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,203
I have to make tinkle.
183
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:24,874
Hey. Remember,
front to back,
front to back.
184
00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:27,266
Good girl.
185
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,700
Hey, Sherlock!
186
00:08:49,597 --> 00:08:50,857
How'd it go?
187
00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:52,268
She wasn't there.
188
00:08:52,299 --> 00:08:54,299
Oh, really?
189
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:56,804
Who was it that said,
"We should trust
our children"?
190
00:08:56,837 --> 00:08:59,707
Oh, yeah, I remember.
It was me.
191
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,910
Hey, look, just because
she wasn't at that party,
192
00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:04,312
(SNAPS FINGERS)
doesn't mean
she wasn't at that party.
193
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:06,976
Who are you calling?
194
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:08,684
Erica's parents.
195
00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:10,616
Can't outslick
the slicker, Jay.
196
00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:16,821
Hello, Miss Washington.
Yes, this is Michael Kyle.
197
00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:18,287
Is Claire there?
198
00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:20,926
She isn't?
199
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:23,261
Ah. Okay.
Thank you very much.
200
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:25,726
I told you. I told you.
201
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:26,866
Hi, Daddy.
(GASPS)
202
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:32,912
What's the matter,
Mr. Kyle? Look like
you just seen a ghost.
203
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:34,270
Well, what are
you doing here?
204
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:35,907
I live here, silly.
205
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:37,753
Well, what about
the sleepover?
206
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,948
My house was
way too noisy.
207
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:42,720
Yeah, it was like
one big giant party.
208
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:45,150
(GIRLS GIGGLING)
209
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:46,685
So we just
came over here.
210
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,920
You don't mind,
do you, Daddy?
211
00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:50,786
Of course not.
212
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,764
Oh, don't mind us.
We're just going to
grab a little snack.
213
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,363
(GIRLS GIGGLING)
214
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:57,797
JAY: Hey, Michael!
215
00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,771
Ha!
216
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,304
* Wall o' Shame
Wall o' Shame
217
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:05,666
* Wall o' Shame
Wall o' Shame
218
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,806
* Wall o' Shame
Wall o' Shame *
219
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:12,281
(GRUNTING)
220
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,149
(GRUNTING)
221
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:18,654
Michael! Michael!
Michael!
222
00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:20,346
Will you stop
flopping around?
223
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:21,957
It's like I'm sleeping
with a trout.
224
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:26,130
Jay, I cannot sleep
until I figure out
225
00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:27,699
how this child
tricked me.
226
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:29,461
It's over!
227
00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:32,126
You saw with your
own eyes she didn't
go to the party.
228
00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:33,365
End of story.
229
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:39,373
The story ain't over until
there's a happy ending,
230
00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:42,676
and right now, I'm very
unhappy with this ending.
231
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:47,377
Why is it so hard to
believe Claire didn't
go to the party?
232
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:49,854
Because you didn't hear
what I heard, Jay.
233
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:52,853
To me, it seems like
the only person that did
something wrong here
234
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,356
is you,
Mr. Eavesdropper.
235
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:58,788
All right,
let's talk about
that word, "wrong," Jay.
236
00:10:58,826 --> 00:10:59,856
Fine.
237
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:01,733
Isn't lying wrong?
238
00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:03,829
Of course
lying is wrong, Michael.
239
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,874
But who lied?
She did.
240
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:08,339
When I was eavesdropping,
241
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:10,838
I specifically
heard her say,
242
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:12,811
"I will be at that party."
243
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,410
And then she didn't go.
244
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:16,441
That is a liar!
245
00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:21,879
That is ridiculous!
And you know what else?
246
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:24,215
I actually think
you should apologize
to that girl.
247
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:26,191
What, me?
Apologize to one of my...
Oh, yes.
248
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:27,759
You must be crazy.
249
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:29,515
I'll tell you
what I will do.
250
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:31,786
(SIGHING)
I'll do a little
more investigating,
251
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:34,185
get right to the bottom.
That's where I'm going, Jay.
252
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,457
To the bottom of this.
253
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:40,297
Listen to yourself.
Just listen to yourself.
254
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:41,903
You have been proven wrong,
255
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:45,065
and then,
you are relentless
256
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,505
in your pursuit of nothing.
257
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,779
It's my pursuit and
I'll pursue nothing
if I wanna.
258
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:52,481
The girl is hurt by it.
259
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:56,182
Claire won't trust you.
She's hurt. I've seen
her crying.
260
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,086
She's hurt
over it, Michael.
Oh, Jay.
261
00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:00,118
She's hurt.
That's part of the scam.
262
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,553
The sad face.
263
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:04,888
(MIMICKING CLAIRE)
"Parents are so unfair.
They don't trust me."
264
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:07,325
(MUMBLING INCOHERENTLY)
265
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:11,199
Baby, you know what
I want you to do?
Huh?
266
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,231
Seriously. You know
what I want you to do?
Huh? What?
267
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:15,396
Turn off the light
and get some sleep.
268
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:18,465
I can't sleep until
I get to the bottom
of this.
269
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:20,465
Michael, you have to sleep.
270
00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:22,077
No, I don't!
271
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:24,179
See, because I'm fuelled
right now, Jay.
272
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:28,021
I'm fuelled by my
quest for answers.
273
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:31,218
And until I figure out
how she did this
274
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:34,491
I will not,
no, I shall not...
275
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:37,831
I shant not...
276
00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:40,085
shut my eyes!
277
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:44,556
Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
278
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,367
Good morning.
279
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:47,999
Kady, have you
seen my pager?
280
00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:49,535
I don't know where it is.
281
00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:51,839
Well, you better find it.
I need it.
282
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,236
When you get a chance.
283
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,945
Daddy, would you
pass me the pepper?
284
00:12:57,978 --> 00:13:00,848
MICHAEL: Look at her.
Over there smiling
285
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:03,421
because she thinks
she outsmarted me.
286
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,290
She couldn't have
done it alone.
287
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:07,448
She had to have help.
288
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:08,917
But, who?
289
00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:11,857
Was it him?
290
00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:15,899
Nah! He's not smart enough
to pull off a job like this.
291
00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:18,969
He's having a hard
enough time reading
that cereal box.
292
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:27,411
And what about
my darling wife?
293
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,880
She's been on their side
from the beginning.
294
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:31,910
Could she be
the double agent?
295
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:33,475
Would she stoop that low?
296
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:34,953
(JAY SIGHING)
297
00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:40,424
Oh, don't smile
at me, Judas.
298
00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:43,023
I'm onto you.
299
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:45,386
If only I could
read their thoughts
300
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:48,225
and hear what they're
really thinking.
301
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:50,961
Na-na-na-na-na.
You can't catch me!
302
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,935
All 'em licorices!
303
00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:57,936
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
304
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,480
MICHAEL: Look at
my little angel.
305
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:05,509
She's the only one
I can trust.
306
00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:08,315
I remember when Claire
was that innocent.
307
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,992
Why do they have to grow up?
308
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:15,459
Oh, promise me you'll
never deceive me when
you're older, Kady.
309
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:17,258
Okay, Daddy.
(EXCLAIMS)
310
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,932
Okay, Daddy,
read me the funnies.
311
00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:24,459
(SIGHS) I'm sorry, I...
312
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,967
I got really caught up
in this article
I was reading.
313
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,970
Really? What's it about?
314
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:31,972
Oh, well, Connecticut is
starting this new amnesty
program for criminals.
315
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:34,305
If you confess
to a crime before
they catch you,
316
00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:36,681
and they will catch you,
317
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,579
they have agreed to
reduce your punishment.
318
00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:41,352
Really? I'd like to read that.
Mmm-hmm.
319
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,421
What... What page is it on?
320
00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:44,319
Oh, well, um...
321
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:47,961
I don't quite remember.
It might have been in
yesterday's paper.
322
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:51,592
I think it's stupid.
Why confess?
323
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:54,364
Let the law do their job
and prove you did it.
324
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,434
If they can.
325
00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:59,003
Oh, they can!
And they will!
326
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,530
Whatever. In my opinion,
327
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:05,408
there's nothing worse than
to be falsely accused of
a crime you didn't commit.
328
00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:07,843
Hey, Junior,
329
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,984
let's go out to the garage
for a second. I want to
show you something.
330
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,340
Show me what?
331
00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:13,248
I bought you a boat.
Really?
332
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,688
There's no boat out here.
333
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,391
Don't play dumb
with me, kid.
334
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,433
I'm not playing.
335
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,358
(BANGS TABLE)
I can't argue with that.
336
00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:30,425
But this is how
this works, Junior.
337
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:33,433
You give me something
and I'll give you something.
338
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,266
What do you want?
I want answers!
339
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:37,496
See, I know you're guilty.
340
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:40,141
You work with me now,
341
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:42,243
(TAPPING ON TABLE)
342
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,505
I'll go easy on you later.
343
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,284
What do you want to know?
344
00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:48,653
I want to know
345
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:51,381
what did you do
the other night when
I left the house?
346
00:15:51,418 --> 00:15:53,688
Okay, okay, okay.
I'll tell you.
347
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:56,320
I accidentally ordered
Star Whores on
pay-per-view.
348
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:57,616
Accidentally?
349
00:15:57,657 --> 00:16:02,197
Yeah. See, I meant to order
I Know Who You Did
Last Summer.
350
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:07,202
And then,
what did you do?
351
00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:09,704
Well, I skimmed over
the first three minutes,
352
00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:11,466
then I fell asleep.
353
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:15,239
You just fell asleep?
It wasn't good enough, huh?
354
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:17,205
No, it was good, but,
355
00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:19,654
I mean, after three minutes,
I was exhausted.
356
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,184
And what about Claire?
357
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:25,486
Well, Claire wasn't in
the three minutes I saw.
358
00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:31,685
No. Why did you tip
her off that I was
coming to that party?
359
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,464
Dad, what are you
talking about?
360
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,303
I'd love to see
Claire get busted.
361
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,358
It would take
the heat off me.
362
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,727
In fact, if you
want me to say
she did something,
363
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:41,626
I'd be happy to lie for you.
364
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,209
Well, if it wasn't him,
365
00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:50,376
that leaves...
366
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,280
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
367
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:57,524
I'm rich! I'm rich!
368
00:16:57,550 --> 00:16:59,250
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
369
00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:00,586
MICHAEL: Kady.
370
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:03,420
Just a minute.
I'm not decent. Hold on.
371
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:08,256
Come in.
372
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:10,526
What are you doing?
373
00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:12,173
Nothing, Daddy.
374
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,399
Are you eating licorice?
375
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:15,574
No, Daddy.
376
00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:17,472
Is it good?
Yes, Daddy.
377
00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:23,107
Why don't you go
brush what's left
of your teeth?
378
00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:24,210
Okay, Daddy.
379
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:37,120
Still skulking around, huh?
380
00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:40,564
Have you found one
shred of evidence?
381
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:42,463
Found licorice.
382
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:44,595
Not one thing to tie
Claire to that party.
383
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,698
Well, no.
384
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,143
Yeah. Give me the candy.
385
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:51,239
Give me the candy, Michael.
It's over.
You're off the case.
386
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:53,141
Turn in your badge.
It's over.
387
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,143
That's it, Michael.
It stops here.
388
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:56,605
(PAGER BEEPING)
389
00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:58,353
What's that?
390
00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:00,608
Oh, Claire's pager.
391
00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:02,547
She's been looking for it
all over the place.
392
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,722
Yeah, and it's sticky.
393
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,320
That explains where
Kady got all that
licorice from.
394
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:09,157
Uh-huh. Look at this.
395
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:11,489
Don't tell me you're reading
her personal messages?
396
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:13,394
Oh, yeah.
It's from Erica.
397
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:16,196
It says, "Oh, my God!
398
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,229
"What a cool party!
399
00:18:18,265 --> 00:18:20,865
"Too bad your dad had
to come ruin it for us.
400
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:24,170
"He is so lame."
401
00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:27,414
Okay. Well, I still
think it's wrong
that we're doing this.
402
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,840
Maybe you want to read
the rest of that message.
403
00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:31,176
(CLICKS TONGUE)
404
00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:32,508
(SIGHING)
405
00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:36,645
"P.S. Your mom sure
has put on a few pounds!"
406
00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:40,892
Oh, it's on, now.
407
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:44,620
MICHAEL: What's
happening, ladies?
408
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:45,827
Nothing, Dad.
409
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:47,328
Oh, hi, Mrs. Kyle.
410
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,530
You look great.
411
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:50,531
Did you just get your
new fall wardrobe?
412
00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:53,203
Yes, Erica.
And you're going
to get yours.
413
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:55,401
(PAGER BEEPING)
414
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:57,595
Oh, it's mine!
415
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,267
Oh, my God!
Check this out.
416
00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:00,506
(GIRLS SCREAMING)
417
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:02,310
Hey, hey, hey!
Where you all going?
418
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:06,412
Oh, nothing.
My mom wants us to
pick up some milk.
419
00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:07,806
Excuse us.
420
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,217
(GIRLS GIGGLING)
421
00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:11,917
(ALL CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)
422
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:14,245
Okay. I just got this page.
423
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:16,257
There's a
surprise party for
Justin Timberlake
424
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:18,489
tonight and we're
all invited.
425
00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:19,855
(ALL SCREAM)
426
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,532
ALL: Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
427
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:23,301
I'm so there!
Me too!
428
00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:24,830
Let's do it!
Okay.
429
00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:27,404
But the only way to
get in is we have to
use the password.
430
00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:29,544
What's the password?
431
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:31,539
"Walla."
What does that mean?
432
00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:33,511
It's French for
"Here it is."
433
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,440
You know, when the
chef's done cooking,
he says, "Walla!"
434
00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:37,235
Duh!
435
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:38,577
ERICA: Oh, my God!
I'm so excited!
436
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:40,811
I know!
This is it!
437
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,277
Oh, my God!
I'm so excited!
438
00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:44,345
I can't believe how
easy it was to get in.
439
00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:45,594
Where are
all the people?
440
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:48,288
Duh! It's
a surprise party.
441
00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:49,861
They have to keep
it on the DL.
442
00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:51,259
Now, come on.
Do I look okay?
443
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,431
Yeah. Do I?
444
00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:54,389
Yeah, yeah. Do I?
445
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:55,957
Okay. Let's do it!
446
00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:57,625
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
Let's go!
447
00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:58,904
(DOORBELL BUZZING)
448
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,301
MICHAEL: What's the password?
449
00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:01,373
ALL: Walla!
450
00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:02,601
MICHAEL: I can't hear you.
451
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:03,865
ALL: Walla!
452
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:04,973
One more time, please.
453
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:07,274
ALL: Walla!
454
00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:10,375
That's right.
455
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:12,250
Wall o' shame!
456
00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:13,849
(LAUGHING)
457
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,487
Oh, that looks
great right there.
458
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,949
But I'm thinking about
blowing it up poster-size
459
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:23,818
and then putting it
on the front door.
460
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,562
Polished your shoes.
461
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:29,764
What about my bath?
462
00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:33,366
Yes, 95 degrees with baby oil
and lemon-scented candles,
just like you asked.
463
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,800
Mom, I organized your
closet and ironed all
of your blouses.
464
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,336
Light starch?
Yes!
465
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:39,571
Yes.
466
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:41,766
When is
my punishment over?
467
00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:43,808
(LAUGHING)
Whenever you bring us
468
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:45,853
an apple off
the apple tree.
469
00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,523
We don't have
an apple tree.
470
00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:50,548
We will when you
finish planting one.
471
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:51,953
(JAY LAUGHING)
472
00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:55,923
Who helped you?
473
00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:58,385
I'll never tell.
474
00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:01,555
(EXCLAIMING) Mine! Mine!
475
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,464
(LAUGHING) Mine!
476
00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:05,801
Mine!
477
00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:08,873
Dad! Shoulders.
478
00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:10,771
Pain!
Oh, I'm sorry.
479
00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:13,873
I'm sorry. I was just
trying to work out
some of these knots.
480
00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:15,506
MICHAEL: Hmm.
481
00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:18,082
Why is this
shoulder so tense?
482
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:21,510
Is it because that's where
he carries his guilt?
483
00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:24,918
Or is it simply because
he's carrying that
enormous head?
32448
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