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1
00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:08,474
(dog barks)
2
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:15,514
(clock ticks)
3
00:00:15,582 --> 00:00:18,650
- I said I wouldn't see you.
- So I heard.
4
00:00:18,718 --> 00:00:19,584
Would you like
to talk about it?
5
00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:22,387
No.
6
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:25,757
(sighs)
7
00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,493
These people who are making
the show about you...?
8
00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:28,694
Yeah?
9
00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:31,363
How do you know exactly they
are making a show about you?
10
00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:34,366
Well, you just know things.
11
00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:35,567
But they didn't tell you?
12
00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:39,971
Oh, they don't
have to tell me.
13
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,674
- Did they leave clues?
- Well, yes.
14
00:00:42,742 --> 00:00:45,310
I mean, well, this office,
for instance.
15
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,679
If it was a real
psychiatrist's office there
16
00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:49,514
would be a couch that
you could stretch out on,
17
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:53,518
but it's low budget,
so there's just a chair.
18
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:54,586
It's low budget?
19
00:00:54,654 --> 00:00:56,588
Well, what do you
think you're doing in it?
20
00:00:56,590 --> 00:01:00,759
I don't know. What?
What? You tell me.
21
00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:02,461
Well... spoiler alert,
22
00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:04,563
at the end of this episode,
you lose your mind.
23
00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:06,231
Why?
(anxious laugh)
24
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:09,901
Why? Why would I...
lose... my... my mind?
25
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:13,305
I mean, I didn't
write this shit.
26
00:01:13,373 --> 00:01:15,941
That's not the way I
see it going.
27
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:21,713
Sorry.
28
00:01:21,781 --> 00:01:24,383
You need to contact me
on a weekly basis.
29
00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:26,751
Well, I'm gonna do my
best to fit you in,
30
00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,720
but I've got a
pretty crazy schedule...
31
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:29,788
when I say crazy.
32
00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:31,389
The alternative
is jail time.
33
00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:32,891
Jail time?
Why, what have you done?
34
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,460
(snap & squeaks)
35
00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,395
Have you got mice in here?
36
00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:39,030
(squeaks)
37
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,500
And if you impersonate a
real estate agent again or
38
00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:44,937
put lipstick on a baby, or
lock a yoga instructor in
39
00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:48,173
a port-a-potty, or send
two deadly snakes to
40
00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:49,808
your parole officer
in the mail...
41
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:51,376
You're taking your
part way too seriously,
42
00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:52,878
you know that?
43
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,214
Just because you're playing
a parole officer doesn't mean
44
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:57,215
you have to act
like the cliche of one.
45
00:01:57,284 --> 00:02:00,185
Hey, Lady...
maybe you want to go jail.
46
00:02:00,253 --> 00:02:01,720
Oh, that's not how
this is gonna go.
47
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:04,122
No?
How's it gonna go, then?
48
00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:05,590
And by the way,
it was three snakes.
49
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:06,825
- What?
- Don't worry.
50
00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:10,028
We're gonna cut to
another location.
51
00:02:10,096 --> 00:02:11,129
Three?
52
00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:17,435
? (sombre piano) ?
53
00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:21,206
(British accent)
So, what's your bid, dear?
54
00:02:21,274 --> 00:02:23,008
My bid?
55
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,277
Get the fuck out of here.
56
00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:26,978
?
57
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:28,914
That's more like it.
58
00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:31,783
What is?
59
00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:34,152
I don't want to
go into a home.
60
00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:36,121
Who does?
61
00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:37,656
I just don't get it.
62
00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:39,324
Neither do I.
63
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,860
?
64
00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:42,961
What don't we get?
65
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,963
Well, is that how
this thing ends,
66
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:49,234
eating shepherd's pie
and playing darts?
67
00:02:49,302 --> 00:02:50,402
Maybe.
68
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:53,438
Well, then, why are they
shooting this if that's it?
69
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:56,875
Well, maybe they
ran out of ideas.
70
00:02:56,944 --> 00:03:00,111
I'm not going into a home;
that's not an interesting story.
71
00:03:00,114 --> 00:03:04,349
That's just a sad fucking story
about a sad fucking lady
72
00:03:04,417 --> 00:03:08,186
just sitting
looking out a window.
73
00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:11,723
Yeah.
74
00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:13,358
We gotta make our own.
75
00:03:13,426 --> 00:03:16,294
We gotta get out there
and make our own story.
76
00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:18,363
Yeah!
77
00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:19,731
Hey, lady!
78
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,166
Let's go find
some champagne.
79
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:24,369
(glass clinks)
80
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:27,906
Oh.
Hey, what's your hurry?
81
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:30,642
(laughs) Thank you.
82
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:34,045
?
83
00:03:34,048 --> 00:03:37,682
Stefan?
84
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:38,650
- Yes?
- Ah...
85
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,385
I think I'm
gonna get this one.
86
00:03:40,453 --> 00:03:43,589
Oh?
You want this one, too, hm?
87
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:46,391
Yeah.
I mean, it's kind of ugly,
88
00:03:46,459 --> 00:03:49,327
but I guess that's why
they call it art, right?
89
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:52,197
You know, you look at
something and you have to
90
00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:56,935
ask yourself, did somebody
just barf on a cardboard box?
91
00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:59,938
But, no, it's hanging
on a wall and it has
92
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:02,340
a price tag on it
for five grand.
93
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,876
(clears throat)
94
00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:07,312
Do you have a credit card
I can put these on?
95
00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:09,681
Oh, don't worry
about a credit card.
96
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,550
Everybody's always so
worried about a credit card
97
00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:14,252
as if that's the only
thing that matters in life.
98
00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:16,087
Hey, Lady...
99
00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:18,556
I have to ask,
you know, hm...
100
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:20,225
Are you really buying this?
101
00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:25,330
I have to ask you: Are you
really an art gallery owner?
102
00:04:25,398 --> 00:04:28,433
Because you gotta wonder,
weren't you the manager at
103
00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:31,870
some golf club
at some point...?
104
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,572
And not a very convincing one,
I might add.
105
00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:36,308
Did somebody in
fart in here?
106
00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:38,877
- Uh-oh.
- Oh, that was me.
107
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,246
- (laughs)
- Okay...
108
00:04:41,314 --> 00:04:43,048
What is going
on here, please?
109
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,851
(laughs) We're just
having fun with you!
110
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:47,585
(laughs)
111
00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:50,422
No, actually,
I am an art reviewer,
112
00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:52,123
and I have to say,
you really have
113
00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:53,825
quite the collection here.
114
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:56,861
Reviewer?
Who are you with?
115
00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:58,664
I'm with her.
116
00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:01,199
Uh-huh?
And you are...?
117
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:03,602
I'm me, you fuck.
118
00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:06,938
I mean, who is anybody when
it comes right down to it?
119
00:05:07,006 --> 00:05:08,340
Who?
120
00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:12,577
I am the owner
of this gallery.
121
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:15,113
Okay?
122
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:16,180
What gallery?
123
00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:18,149
And, just like that,
you're somewhere else?
124
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:21,052
Yeah, you gotta wonder
who green lit this thing.
125
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:24,756
So, you, you just cut
from location to location?
126
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:28,293
Well, it's all
in the editing.
127
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:29,828
Right.
128
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:31,663
But wait, this is real,
isn't it? Right here, now?
129
00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:34,232
You and me here,
this is-- we're not...?
130
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:35,900
This-- or is this show?
What are we doing?
131
00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:40,172
Is this...? A scene?
132
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,374
Not for long.
133
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:49,514
(clock ticks)
134
00:05:49,582 --> 00:05:51,516
(clears throat)
135
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:54,986
(birds chirping)
136
00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:57,322
Why this park?
I hate this fucking park.
137
00:05:57,391 --> 00:05:59,824
Hey, lady, you got a light?
138
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:01,727
I got better than a light.
I got an idea:
139
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,461
go fuck yourself,
why don't you?
140
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:04,796
You go fuck yourself.
141
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,532
And don't you,
"Hey, Lady," me.
142
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,801
Don't "Hey, Lady!" me.
143
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:12,070
This isn't just anybody
sitting here, you know?
144
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:14,939
This is somebody
they're making a show about.
145
00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:17,108
And don't ask me why.
146
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:18,810
Ask them.
I'm just in it.
147
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:20,812
(birds chirping)
148
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,547
Just keep the
camera rolling.
149
00:06:22,615 --> 00:06:25,150
Is the camera still rolling?
150
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,685
Keep the camera rolling!
Keep it rolling!
151
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:32,757
(birds chirping)
152
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,459
Radio announcement:
(radio feedback)
153
00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:36,828
There will be a meeting this
afternoon in the main lounge
154
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:39,698
for adults interested in
signing up for aquafit.
155
00:06:39,766 --> 00:06:42,500
Today at 2:30 instead of 2:00
156
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,769
and, if you haven't yet,
please sign up on the
157
00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:46,438
sign-in sheet in
the dining room...
158
00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:49,340
(indistinct speaking)
159
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:56,481
(birds chirping)
160
00:06:56,549 --> 00:07:06,524
?
161
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:17,669
?
162
00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:20,472
? HEY LADY! ?
163
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:25,477
?
164
00:07:25,527 --> 00:07:30,077
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