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1
00:00:06,307 --> 00:00:08,374
(dog barks)
2
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:14,913
So, the...
the western hognose snake,
3
00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:16,515
does that come in
any other colours or
4
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,317
just the brown spots?
5
00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:19,651
I like the California
kingsnake.
6
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,053
(whispers) Yeah.
7
00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:22,721
Um, oh... yes.
8
00:00:22,789 --> 00:00:24,790
Are they poisonous
'cause he likes poisonous?
9
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,559
So convenient to
order by phone.
10
00:00:27,627 --> 00:00:30,529
I know-- Oh, and how many
snakes is that in total?
11
00:00:30,597 --> 00:00:33,432
- Is there ever enough?
- Yes, it's his birthday.
12
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:35,300
And, you know,
it's been a very tough year.
13
00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:37,936
It's not that easy
being a parole officer.
14
00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:39,938
You should see how many
creeps he has to shadow.
15
00:00:40,006 --> 00:00:42,541
- You need to order some food.
- Oh, yes, right.
16
00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:46,344
Um... So, do you
handle feed rodents,
17
00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:50,515
or is that another company?
Yes, live would be best.
18
00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:53,051
- (chuckles)
- Alright, great.
19
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,088
Um, okay, so the
address is, it's,
20
00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:59,257
care of the Correctional
Service Department.
21
00:00:59,326 --> 00:01:02,094
A Mr. Carmen Jourdain.
22
00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:04,496
(laughs)
23
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:05,898
I didn't even
know that was legal.
24
00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:07,933
How would you know what's
legal? You're a lawyer.
25
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:10,969
- Selling reptiles online?
- Home delivery included. Tea?
26
00:01:11,037 --> 00:01:12,838
You sent your parole officer
three snakes, mom.
27
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,439
Well, they weren't
just any snakes.
28
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:17,476
- No, $400 snakes.
- It's his birthday.
29
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:19,377
- Is it?
- Well, it's some time.
30
00:01:19,446 --> 00:01:20,712
And how did you
get my credit card?
31
00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:22,047
Have some lemonade, Lassie.
32
00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:23,915
One of the conditions of
your parole is not to
33
00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,417
hang out with convicted felons.
34
00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:28,286
- Rosie's a convicted felon?
- Oh, who isn't?
35
00:01:28,355 --> 00:01:30,389
Now, is there vodka in that
because I'm not allowed
36
00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:32,858
to have vodka before noon.
It does something to my system.
37
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:36,395
You're not allowed to have vodka
on parole at all, mom.
38
00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:37,796
Don't you "mom" me.
39
00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:39,931
I'm your mother-in-law;
that's bad enough.
40
00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:44,102
You just say mean things
because you are old and alone.
41
00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:47,606
Speaking of mothers and law,
the law does not require you
42
00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:50,075
to be our mother, nor does it
require us to be your children.
43
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:51,776
Would you like me to
show you the incision
44
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:53,245
where they cut you out of me?
45
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:54,980
- They didn't cut me out.
- Were you there?
46
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:58,350
- Yes, I was there. Were you?
- Where's my son?
47
00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,119
He's the only one
who understands me.
48
00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:01,586
He's...somewhere.
49
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:05,223
- (distant) Is she gone yet?
- She lives here now, honey.
50
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,459
Not for long,
you ungrateful bastard.
51
00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:09,427
That's right: not for long.
52
00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:11,930
If you have plans for me,
I would like to hear them.
53
00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:13,732
Oh, I have plans.
54
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,934
On second thought,
this conversation is over.
55
00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:17,002
I'll say when it's ov--
56
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:20,305
- She hates me.
- You hate her.
57
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,874
Oh, but just the way
any other mother does,
58
00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:26,044
you know, it's like having
a mole under your arm.
59
00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:28,313
You try to forget about it
because you can't be
60
00:02:28,381 --> 00:02:30,582
bothered to have it removed.
61
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:34,119
She hates me with an
unqualified passion.
62
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:35,988
You shouldn't have
ordered those snakes.
63
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:38,023
Not on her credit card.
64
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:40,358
I did it for the
best of intentions.
65
00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:45,263
(sighs) You need to
make it up to her.
66
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:48,133
And they said I'm not supposed
to see you anymore.
67
00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:52,337
- No?
- You're a bad influence.
68
00:02:52,405 --> 00:02:56,141
I'm the only
influence you got.
69
00:02:56,209 --> 00:02:57,609
I know.
70
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:05,050
?
71
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,351
So...?
72
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:07,986
Yeah, I don't need to
talk to you right now.
73
00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:08,954
I gotta be somewhere.
74
00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:13,692
Wait, this show
you're in, this... ah...
75
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,228
I actually hate this place,
but I wanted to
76
00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:18,563
treat you to a little lunch.
77
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:20,165
I'm the one who's paying.
78
00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:22,767
Always with the details,
that's my daughter.
79
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:24,703
(laughs) Daughter.
80
00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:25,937
Hm.
81
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:28,673
Oh... put that on my tab,
would you?
82
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:31,109
And you treat yourself
to a big old tip.
83
00:03:31,177 --> 00:03:33,645
- I'll have another double.
- Mm, me too.
84
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,513
You're not supposed
to be drinking.
85
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:37,916
- Says who?
- The parole board.
86
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:40,319
Fine then,
just bring me two singles.
87
00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:44,122
What's his problem?
88
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:46,391
I believe you poured
soup on his head.
89
00:03:46,459 --> 00:03:49,728
That was the manager and
that was back in episode three.
90
00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:51,496
So, what episode
is this, then?
91
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:54,766
Six. This is where I'm supposed
to make up to you.
92
00:03:54,834 --> 00:03:58,770
And... I've brought you this.
A little peace offering.
93
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:07,812
Look, I know you're insane,
and it's probably some form
94
00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:09,914
of senile dementia or
Alzheimer's or something,
95
00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:11,182
and I really don't care.
96
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:13,084
I just want to get through
my life without you ruining it.
97
00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:15,687
- Is that too much to ask?
- Yes.
98
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,222
I tried my damnedest to
get you a jail term,
99
00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:18,390
but that judge
doesn't like me.
100
00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:19,691
That judge
doesn't like anybody.
101
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:21,192
He should be
working for an airline.
102
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:24,563
So, I've booked you into a
nice home for seniors...
103
00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:26,932
where they can
look after you.
104
00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:31,036
I won't go.
105
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:35,006
You have no money, so unless
you want to live on the street,
106
00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:37,809
you'll live there,
until you die.
107
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,644
Or someone does.
108
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:42,180
We'll see what happens
in the next episode.
109
00:04:42,248 --> 00:04:46,651
(snake rattle & hiss)
110
00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:56,695
?
111
00:04:56,763 --> 00:05:07,673
?
112
00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:10,976
? HEY LADY! ?
113
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:15,914
?
114
00:05:15,964 --> 00:05:20,514
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