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1
00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:08,607
(dog barks)
2
00:00:09,976 --> 00:00:12,978
(birds chirping)
3
00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:14,646
Ah.
4
00:00:14,714 --> 00:00:16,115
Alright.
5
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:18,984
Time for a few poses.
Are you game?
6
00:00:19,053 --> 00:00:20,452
Do we have to?
7
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:21,653
? (tranquil) ?
8
00:00:21,721 --> 00:00:27,326
If you choose openness,
openness will find you.
9
00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:30,462
Everything in
life is a choice.
10
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:33,131
And breathe, and reach,
11
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,101
and open yourself to the sun.
12
00:00:36,169 --> 00:00:39,137
Or not.
You can choose.
13
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,607
But if you choose to
open yourself to the sun,
14
00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:44,409
feel the blood flowing.
15
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:48,346
Feel it reversing
in your veins.
16
00:00:48,349 --> 00:00:51,850
If blood was reversing in
your veins you would die.
17
00:00:51,918 --> 00:00:53,318
- Fucking die.
- Yeah.
18
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:56,455
And moving into warrior.
19
00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:58,790
So, what do they call this,
the hymen maneuver?
20
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:02,494
- (laughs)
- (exhales)
21
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:05,497
- I'm sorry, are you smoking?
- Well, somebody has to.
22
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,433
- You can't smoke here.
- I'm outside.
23
00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:08,767
Where else am I gonna smoke?
24
00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:11,636
Well, it's drifting over
the entire practice area.
25
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:13,271
Yeah, don't worry.
It's part of her character.
26
00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:15,373
- It's part of my character!
- She's glamorous.
27
00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:18,009
? (tranquil) ?
28
00:01:18,012 --> 00:01:21,046
And,
and reaching...
29
00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:24,383
coming here
today is a choice.
30
00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:27,519
Everything is a choice.
31
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:31,790
Aging is a choice.
Cancer is a choice.
32
00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:33,225
Well, if everything
is a choice,
33
00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:35,894
why did you choose to
be such a dickhead?
34
00:01:35,962 --> 00:01:37,762
(snickers)
35
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:41,466
Ha-ha. You know, you can
choose to be somewhere else.
36
00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,168
I choose to smoke.
37
00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:45,037
And we choose to have
you somewhere else.
38
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:49,141
And where exactly do
you choose me to be?
39
00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:51,209
(muffled) Let me out!
I'll call the police!
40
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:55,881
I think we should
choose to just walk away.
41
00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:59,017
- Let's choose some vodka.
- Excellent. (laughs)
42
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:01,887
(muffled shout)
Hey, Lady! (echoes)
43
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,755
Uh-huh.
44
00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:06,558
Yeah, I understand, but
he represented her before.
45
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:09,895
Well, before, when--
when she stole the streetcar.
46
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,831
I didn't steal a streetcar.
That case was thrown out.
47
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,399
It was thrown out
on a technicality.
48
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,501
You didn't get very far.
49
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,837
I had to let people
off at their stop.
50
00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:20,672
Hello, hi?
(sighs)
51
00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:22,207
Oh, now he has principles,
this lawyer.
52
00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:24,776
- I can represent myself.
- No, you can't.
53
00:02:24,844 --> 00:02:26,178
I can do anything I want.
54
00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:28,547
How do I disown you?
How do I legally do that?
55
00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:29,814
It ain't gonna happen.
56
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,116
You don't want to
disown your own mother.
57
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:34,085
Pfft. Mother.
I'm not his mother.
58
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,721
I'm just the poor retch who
gave birth to the bastard.
59
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:39,457
The woman who squeezed
you out from her quivering,
60
00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:43,128
bleeding loins as she
was screaming in agony and
61
00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:45,130
praying to Jesus for mercy.
62
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:46,898
I thought you had
an epidural block.
63
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,567
Is it any wonder?
Who could handle the
64
00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:51,102
painful memory of
bringing that into the world?
65
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:54,105
You know he was born
with a dermoid cyst
66
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,442
on the bridge of his nose.
He looked like a cyclops.
67
00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,144
Okay, we need to
find you a lawyer.
68
00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:01,079
- What about Lassie?
- She's busy.
69
00:03:01,147 --> 00:03:01,947
Doing what?
70
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,682
She volunteered to
prosecute the case.
71
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,751
- Is that legal?
- Don't you worry.
72
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:07,019
I have a lawyer.
73
00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:10,122
And who is representing
her in this case?
74
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,256
Somebody tell me.
75
00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:13,758
One can only imagine,
your Honour.
76
00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:15,160
She'll be here in a minute.
77
00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:18,096
- Did anybody ask you?
- You did.
78
00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:19,264
Your Honour.
79
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,366
Oh, there's no need for that.
You can just call me Lady.
80
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:23,502
(door creaks)
81
00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:25,237
Hang on, everybody.
I'm here.
82
00:03:25,305 --> 00:03:28,306
?
83
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:29,307
Hm...
84
00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:31,109
Hm-hm-hm!
85
00:03:31,177 --> 00:03:33,145
?
86
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,380
Hm-mm!
87
00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:37,983
What is that?
Is that a cigarette?
88
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,151
- Is what a cigarette?
- You can't smoke in here.
89
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,854
- Says who?
- Says him!
90
00:03:42,922 --> 00:03:44,889
Well, who the fuck are you?
91
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:48,894
I am the presiding judge.
And who are you?
92
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:51,162
This is my counsel,
your Honour.
93
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:54,599
And I find the
defendant not guilty.
94
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:55,767
(gavel hits)
95
00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:58,570
Where is the court officer?
What is going on here?
96
00:03:58,639 --> 00:03:59,704
You're asking us?
97
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:01,506
I recommend jail time,
your Honour.
98
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,942
- This place is a shit show.
- Is it?
99
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,644
- Mom!
- Is that what it is?
100
00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:08,647
- Well, where's my jury?
- You don't have a jury.
101
00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:09,948
You have me.
102
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,517
Now, according to
this police statement,
103
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,953
you intentionally restrained
another person's
104
00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:16,488
ability to move freely.
105
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:19,224
Well, how freely does a
yoga instructor move,
106
00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:20,425
let's be honest?
107
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,327
You locked her in a...
port-a-potty?
108
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:23,495
She chose to be locked in.
109
00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:25,664
Even a misdemeanor
conviction for a charge of
110
00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:29,067
false imprisonment can land
you up to a year in prison.
111
00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:31,036
Well, don't talk to me
about imprisonment.
112
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,105
- Do you wear adult diapers?
- No.
113
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:35,807
Do you know what it's like
to live in wrinkled skin
114
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:38,576
surrounded by people
who want you to die?
115
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:39,844
No, I don't.
116
00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:41,446
Is there anything
else you'd like to say?
117
00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:44,582
Yes, you are terrible
casting for this, judge.
118
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:46,484
I could've done a
better job myself.
119
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:48,853
(gavel hits)
120
00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:52,791
?
121
00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:56,995
Ah, fuck it.
122
00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:59,197
You have to do this
for how many months?
123
00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:04,102
I don't know.
Ask my crappy lawyer.
124
00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:08,740
- Was that me?
- Yep.
125
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:12,944
I'm just doing it until that
parole officer fucks off.
126
00:05:13,012 --> 00:05:14,613
Well, which one is he?
127
00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:18,283
The guy over there acting
like a parole officer.
128
00:05:18,285 --> 00:05:21,353
- Well, I think he's gone.
- Yeah?
129
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:22,954
- Mhm.
- Good.
130
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:24,956
- (bucket clangs)
- Hey, lady!
131
00:05:25,024 --> 00:05:26,024
That's garbage!
132
00:05:26,092 --> 00:05:27,826
You know what's garbage
is that running gear.
133
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:29,527
If you can't afford to
look like an asshole,
134
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:30,695
don't act like one.
135
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:32,097
Ha.
136
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:36,101
We need a
change of location.
137
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:39,037
Yeah, we need...
change of something.
138
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:40,638
Yeah.
139
00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:42,240
You want to go over to
the playground and watch
140
00:05:42,308 --> 00:05:44,109
children become more and
more like their parents?
141
00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:46,644
Ha, I thought
you hated kids?
142
00:05:46,713 --> 00:05:49,448
Well, we can laugh at them
when they fall on their faces.
143
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,816
(chuckles)
Little drunks.
144
00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:54,152
(laughs)
145
00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:57,255
Watch out
for the garbage pail.
146
00:05:57,323 --> 00:06:00,325
- (clang)
- Ah!
147
00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:01,460
(laughs)
148
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,728
Let's walk away
into a wide shot.
149
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:06,798
?
150
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,300
Alright... it's wide enough.
151
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:19,344
?
152
00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:32,023
?
153
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:34,092
? HEY LADY! ?
154
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:39,898
?
155
00:06:39,948 --> 00:06:44,498
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