Original subtitles

(dog barks)

(birds chirping)

Ah.

Alright.

Time for a few poses. Are you game?

Do we have to?

? (tranquil) ?

If you choose openness, openness will find you.

Everything in life is a choice.

And breathe, and reach,

and open yourself to the sun.

Or not. You can choose.

But if you choose to open yourself to the sun,

feel the blood flowing.

Feel it reversing in your veins.

If blood was reversing in your veins you would die.

- Fucking die. - Yeah.

And moving into warrior.

So, what do they call this, the hymen maneuver?

- (laughs) - (exhales)

- I'm sorry, are you smoking? - Well, somebody has to.

- You can't smoke here. - I'm outside.

Where else am I gonna smoke?

Well, it's drifting over the entire practice area.

Yeah, don't worry. It's part of her character.

- It's part of my character! - She's glamorous.

? (tranquil) ?

And, and reaching...

coming here today is a choice.

Everything is a choice.

Aging is a choice. Cancer is a choice.

Well, if everything is a choice,

why did you choose to be such a dickhead?

(snickers)

Ha-ha. You know, you can choose to be somewhere else.

I choose to smoke.

And we choose to have you somewhere else.

And where exactly do you choose me to be?

(muffled) Let me out! I'll call the police!

I think we should choose to just walk away.

- Let's choose some vodka. - Excellent. (laughs)

(muffled shout) Hey, Lady! (echoes)

Uh-huh.

Yeah, I understand, but he represented her before.

Well, before, when-- when she stole the streetcar.

I didn't steal a streetcar. That case was thrown out.

It was thrown out on a technicality.

You didn't get very far.

I had to let people off at their stop.

Hello, hi? (sighs)

Oh, now he has principles, this lawyer.

- I can represent myself. - No, you can't.

I can do anything I want.

How do I disown you? How do I legally do that?

It ain't gonna happen.

You don't want to disown your own mother.

Pfft. Mother. I'm not his mother.

I'm just the poor retch who gave birth to the bastard.

The woman who squeezed you out from her quivering,

bleeding loins as she was screaming in agony and

praying to Jesus for mercy.

I thought you had an epidural block.

Is it any wonder? Who could handle the

painful memory of bringing that into the world?

You know he was born with a dermoid cyst

on the bridge of his nose. He looked like a cyclops.

Okay, we need to find you a lawyer.

- What about Lassie? - She's busy.

Doing what?

She volunteered to prosecute the case.

- Is that legal? - Don't you worry.

I have a lawyer.

And who is representing her in this case?

Somebody tell me.

One can only imagine, your Honour.

She'll be here in a minute.

- Did anybody ask you? - You did.

Your Honour.

Oh, there's no need for that. You can just call me Lady.

(door creaks)

Hang on, everybody. I'm here.

?

Hm...

Hm-hm-hm!

?

Hm-mm!

What is that? Is that a cigarette?

- Is what a cigarette? - You can't smoke in here.

- Says who? - Says him!

Well, who the fuck are you?

I am the presiding judge. And who are you?

This is my counsel, your Honour.

And I find the defendant not guilty.

(gavel hits)

Where is the court officer? What is going on here?

You're asking us?

I recommend jail time, your Honour.

- This place is a shit show. - Is it?

- Mom! - Is that what it is?

- Well, where's my jury? - You don't have a jury.

You have me.

Now, according to this police statement,

you intentionally restrained another person's

ability to move freely.

Well, how freely does a yoga instructor move,

let's be honest?

You locked her in a... port-a-potty?

She chose to be locked in.

Even a misdemeanor conviction for a charge of

false imprisonment can land you up to a year in prison.

Well, don't talk to me about imprisonment.

- Do you wear adult diapers? - No.

Do you know what it's like to live in wrinkled skin

surrounded by people who want you to die?

No, I don't.

Is there anything else you'd like to say?

Yes, you are terrible casting for this, judge.

I could've done a better job myself.

(gavel hits)

?

Ah, fuck it.

You have to do this for how many months?

I don't know. Ask my crappy lawyer.

- Was that me? - Yep.

I'm just doing it until that parole officer fucks off.

Well, which one is he?

The guy over there acting like a parole officer.

- Well, I think he's gone. - Yeah?

- Mhm. - Good.

- (bucket clangs) - Hey, lady!

That's garbage!

You know what's garbage is that running gear.

If you can't afford to look like an asshole,

don't act like one.

Ha.

We need a change of location.

Yeah, we need... change of something.

Yeah.

You want to go over to the playground and watch

children become more and more like their parents?

Ha, I thought you hated kids?

Well, we can laugh at them when they fall on their faces.

(chuckles) Little drunks.

(laughs)

Watch out for the garbage pail.

- (clang) - Ah!

(laughs)

Let's walk away into a wide shot.

?

Alright... it's wide enough.

?

?

? HEY LADY! ?

?

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