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1
00:00:06,206 --> 00:00:08,774
(dog barks)
2
00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:17,883
(clock ticks)
3
00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:20,419
(sighs)
4
00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:23,588
(clock ticks)
5
00:00:23,591 --> 00:00:26,191
Talk to me about something.
Anything.
6
00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:27,993
- Must I?
- That's what I'm here for.
7
00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:30,863
Alright,
you're a very ugly man.
8
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:32,898
- Well, that's not very nice.
- Tell me about it.
9
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:34,833
I'm the one that
has to look at you.
10
00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:36,902
Is that why you
became a shrink,
11
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:39,204
because you couldn't
deal with your ugly, sad,
12
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,607
little bug-eyed life,
so you thought maybe
13
00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:45,878
you could bury your misery in
the hideous lives of others?
14
00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:47,212
Why don't we talk about you?
15
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:48,547
Well, I'm not that
interesting and
16
00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:49,915
I'm certainly not that ugly.
17
00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:51,583
Well, you're interesting
enough that someone's
18
00:00:51,651 --> 00:00:54,753
making a show about you,
so your son tells me.
19
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:56,088
Well, my son's insane.
20
00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:58,757
He says you think you're
in some kind of TV show.
21
00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:00,359
It's not a TV show.
It's just a show,
22
00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:01,760
and it's not a
very good show.
23
00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:02,561
Oh, no?
24
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:03,829
Well, you're in
it for starters,
25
00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:05,964
with that phony voice
and those fake glasses.
26
00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:08,133
Talk to me about
these fake glasses.
27
00:01:08,135 --> 00:01:09,635
Talk to props.
28
00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:12,971
(clears throat)
Who's making this show?
29
00:01:13,039 --> 00:01:14,473
People.
I can't talk about it.
30
00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:16,441
I'm not that happy with
their work, to be honest.
31
00:01:16,444 --> 00:01:18,577
And does it air
on a network?
32
00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:20,679
Oh, you know what
fucking networks are like.
33
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:22,714
No, it's an
independent production.
34
00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:24,049
I don't ask too
many questions.
35
00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:27,452
I just do my thing, and then
when I get tired of
36
00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:30,455
doing that thing, I just
cut to another thing.
37
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:31,790
That's the beauty of it.
38
00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:36,395
What if, instead of just
cutting to another thing,
39
00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:37,662
you stayed with something?
40
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,264
What, like this?
41
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:44,136
Well, like hobby,
some kind of past time.
42
00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:47,105
Aquafit, bridge, you golf.
43
00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:48,507
Why, you wanna
see a hole in one?
44
00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:50,242
I've seen enough.
Thank you.
45
00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:52,311
You got a phobia?
Talk to me.
46
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:55,046
You need to get out more.
You need to...
47
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,082
I need to get out 'a here,
for starters.
48
00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:58,817
Can we just cut
to another scene?
49
00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:00,952
- What if--
- (man coughs)
50
00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:03,288
Not this fucking scene.
51
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,856
Hey, lady.
52
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:06,691
Get me out ' a here.
53
00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:10,362
- Ah, that's better.
- Yeah.
54
00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:12,230
Oh, nice swing.
55
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,899
You look good
in those pants, honey.
56
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:16,334
Hey, lady, I'm trying to
tee off here, if you don't mind.
57
00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:17,603
Yeah, we mind.
58
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,104
Are you members here,
by any chance?
59
00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:21,373
This is part of
my psychotherapy.
60
00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:24,042
Yeah, so hit
the fucking ball.
61
00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:25,343
Yeah, we don't have all day.
62
00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:26,845
Do we look like
we have all day?
63
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,647
We gotta get to aquafit.
64
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:33,385
Aquafit, you fucking donut.
65
00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:37,355
Whoa! Nice shot.
Good luck finding that ball.
66
00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:39,858
Who taught you how
to play, Ray Charles?
67
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:41,360
(laughs)
68
00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:45,297
Oh! Too bad.
Oh my goodness.
69
00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:47,299
Whoa!
70
00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:49,834
Well, have fun
in the sand trap.
71
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,102
Rosie: Thanks.
72
00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:53,472
Lady: I wasn't talking
to you, honey.
73
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,473
Golfer: Let's go.
74
00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:58,210
- Guys used to notice us.
- Yeah.
75
00:02:58,278 --> 00:03:00,112
I used to be the
belle of the ball.
76
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,247
Yeah...
77
00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:04,482
(sighs ) Ah, fuck this!
78
00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:06,485
Yeah. What are we
doing here anyhow?
79
00:03:06,553 --> 00:03:09,254
Are we gonna play?
I hate golf.
80
00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:12,123
No! We're gonna have a lovely
lunch at the clubhouse and
81
00:03:12,126 --> 00:03:14,593
it's on my daughter.
Isn't that sweet?
82
00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:15,961
I thought she hated you?
83
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,496
Oh, she will when
she gets the cheque.
84
00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:19,731
- (laughs)
- Cheers.
85
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,967
- (bottles clink)
- Yeah.
86
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:25,304
- Oh...
- Hm?
87
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:32,978
(cheers & laughs)
88
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,713
- Yoohoo!
- Yeah, oh!
89
00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:36,481
Want some more, lady?
Okay, there you go.
90
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:39,017
Whoa! Ooh!
(indistinct shouts)
91
00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:41,786
(cackles)
92
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:44,590
I love you, Rosie!
You're my best friend!
93
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:45,924
(indistinct speaking)
94
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:48,527
Oh, yeah, I wish
I was. Very nice!
95
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:51,463
It beats golfing.
(laughs)
96
00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:53,965
Oh, hey, fine thank you.
Just get me another bottle of
97
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:55,433
whatever the fuck
that was, okay.
98
00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:57,969
I'm not a waitress.
I'm your daughter.
99
00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:00,272
- Oh, god.
- Oh, it's Lassie.
100
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:01,806
Oh, what do you know?
101
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:04,276
- Lassie? Like the dog?
- Yes, it's me.
102
00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:05,343
I just said that.
103
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,212
What are you doing here?
Aren't you a lawyer?
104
00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:09,481
Don't you have
anybody to throw in jail?
105
00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:10,882
What do you think
I'm doing here?
106
00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:11,984
I got a call
from the manager.
107
00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:15,220
Apparently, you poured a
bowl of soup over his head.
108
00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:17,756
Well, in my defense,
it wasn't very good soup.
109
00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:20,759
- It was cold.
- It was gazpacho.
110
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:23,561
- "Ga" what?
- (laughs)
111
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:26,231
Eh, it's no smoking here,
s'il vous plait.
112
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,833
- Huh? S'il vous plait?
- Oh... ho-ho-ho.
113
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:32,037
I can see your cajones in
those pants, senor.
114
00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:33,171
(snickers)
115
00:04:33,239 --> 00:04:35,206
I have asked them not
to call the police,
116
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,108
since I don't want to
cause an even bigger scene.
117
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:39,978
The manager has been kind
enough and sensible enough
118
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,313
not to press charges,
119
00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:42,914
but he would like you to
leave the clubhouse.
120
00:04:42,982 --> 00:04:45,550
So, if you don't
come with me, now,
121
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,452
I take no further
responsibility for you.
122
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,955
Okay. And who took
responsibility for you
123
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,191
for 25 fucking years?
124
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:55,560
- Who put you through college?
- I did.
125
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:57,095
She kicked me
out when I was 15.
126
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:59,064
Should 'a kicked you out
in the first trimester.
127
00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:00,465
I want that
suit dry cleaned!
128
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:02,067
Relax.
I am dealing with this.
129
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,134
S'il vous plait.
130
00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:04,936
Ah, I haven't seen
the dessert menu.
131
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:07,138
They are not serving
you anything more.
132
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:08,606
You're being asked to leave!
133
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:10,642
Come with me or don't,
it's up to you.
134
00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:11,777
Oh...
135
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:17,048
Well, you know what,
Rosie, I think we'll leave.
136
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:22,020
Mhm...
With our dignity intact.
137
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:24,589
- Exactly.
- (grunts)
138
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:27,258
(cackles)
139
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,426
Thank you.
140
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:31,229
- You just send me a bill.
- I'll send you the bill.
141
00:05:31,297 --> 00:05:33,565
Are you enjoying
your dinner?
142
00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:36,468
- (crash)
- (cackles)
143
00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:38,837
And, what do you think
you're acting out with
144
00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,972
all this bad behaviour?
145
00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:43,174
I'm not really acting.
I'm just being myself.
146
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:46,044
- You're the one who's acting.
- Oh, am I?
147
00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:48,380
Yes, you're playing the
part of the psychiatrist.
148
00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:49,981
And not very well,
I have to say.
149
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:54,185
And this, ah,
psychiatrist I'm playing,
150
00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:55,620
what's his next line?
151
00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:57,222
Well, you ought 'a know.
It's your line.
152
00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:58,323
And one thing's for sure:
153
00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:00,525
you'll be saying it in that
phony actor's voice.
154
00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:02,594
Oh, so this
isn't my real voice?
155
00:06:02,662 --> 00:06:05,764
It isn't anybody's, but I
guess a shitty second rate
156
00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:08,333
actor's all they could
afford on this show.
157
00:06:08,401 --> 00:06:10,068
Everything's
pretty low budget,
158
00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:12,070
but they're very
short episodes, thank god.
159
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:13,938
How short?
160
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:16,007
(snaps)
161
00:06:16,075 --> 00:06:26,017
?
162
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:35,894
?
163
00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:38,830
? HEY LADY! ?
164
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:44,136
?
165
00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:48,736
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