All language subtitles for And.Just.Like.That.S03E07.They.Wanna.Have.Fun.MAX.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.x264-NTb.en[cc]

[knocking]

- I hate you.
- Understood.

But I might need
a bit more explanation
as to exactly why.

Your first chapter

is thrilling.

It's polished
and it's ready to publish,

and how am I
supposed to hand you
my work in progress now?

Well, that was the deal
that we agreed to.

But can we get back to the,
"My work is thrilling" bit?

Oh, my God, Duncan,
it is so good.

- I'm so relieved.
- [Carrie chuckles]

Alright, this is mine.

[inhales deeply]

And I'm so terrified.

[screaming]

Lily, what's wrong?

Diego...

broke up with me.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[people chattering]

- [Carrie] Mm.
- [Charlotte] Ooh!

[barista] Alison,
almond milk macchiato.

Poor Lily. Mm.

Breakups at that age
are so Bronte sisters.

You know, I still feel
a little of the pain

of my first
high school breakup.

Well, it was only
a few years ago.

Give it some time.

- Kevin Moss. Mm.
- [Miranda chuckles softly]

Yeah, he said he was into me,
but it was just way too much.

[Miranda] Mm.

Guys, that may be my brand.

[laughter]

That flower market
can kiss my ass.

It took so friggin' long,
I'll barely have enough time

to slap on a light coat
of bronzer before she arrives.

Before who arrives?

Giuseppe's shrink mother

is coming
from Rome for a week.

And I am not
a fan of therapy.

I tried it once.
He had all these insights.

- Ugh.
- Like I need that.

[chuckles]
Tidy up!

My future mother-in-law's on
her way over from the Carlyle.

So, at this point,
I don't even know

how I'm gonna get
Lily out of bed.

And with everything else
that I have on my plate,

it's the last thing I need,
is for my easy one

to just have a breakdown.

Why? What else do you
have on your plate?

Oh, my gosh, I wanted
to show you this new ring.

Ah, questo caffè
è così dolce,

piccolo e intimo.

[sniffing] È il pane

- ha un profumo invivante.
- Si, si.

[Charlotte]
When did you get this?
I've never seen this one.

- Oh, bene, look who's here!
- [Miranda] Hey!

[Giuseppe]
Mama, I want you
to meet my friends.

- [Carrie] Oh!
- Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda,

this is my mother,
Dottoressa Gianna Amato.

Please, angel,
why so formal?

We are all friends.
Ladies, call me Gia.

Oh, it's so nice
to meet you, Gia.

And your English
is perfect.

It should be.
I was born in Buffalo.

- [Carrie and Miranda chuckle]
- Made my escape at 19

- to study painting in Florence.
- [Carrie] Mm.

I was going to be
the next Botticelli.

The arrogance of
a 19-year-old American, yes?

But I fell in love,
so here is my masterpiece.

[all] Aw!

- We love your son.
- Then, I love all of you.

- [Miranda laughing]
- [Gianna gasps]

This gorgeous man
must be the Anthony

I have heard
so much about.

Ciao bello, I'm Gia.

Ciao.

Mama, this is not Anthony.

[Anthony]
I hope his fancy, important,

head-shrinker mama

enjoys this fucking foliage.

- This is Anthony.
- [Anthony] Oh.

I didn't know
you were here.

- Ciao.
- [Gianna chuckles softly]

I wanted to make the place
look its best for you.

I appreciate the effort.
Now, please, set that down.

It must be heavy
for a man of your size.

[Anthony] Take it. Take it.
I said take it.

- [vase thuds]
- Uh, so, welcome.

Uh, what should I call you?
Mrs. Amato?

Gianna? Mrs. Gianna?
Mom? Mama?

[both laughing]

You may call me
Dottoressa Gianna Amato.

I'm afraid I made
a very bad first impression.

[♪ plucky music playing]

You have some makeup
on your neck, yes?

Yes.

[Carrie]
Hey, I think we should
throw Charlotte a party

for her birthday next week.

Okay!
Let's do it at my new place!

I've been wanting to have

a little housewarming
there anyway.

Well, actually, I think it--

it should be
a kind of bigger party.

And I have all that space,

plus you're working
all next week,

so, um, you know,

- just let me plan it.
- Okay.

Well, it doesn't have
to be a big thing, though.

- It's not her 60th.
- [chuckles] No, I know.

I know, I know, I just--
I just feel like she--

she really needs to have
some fun right now.

Why? Is something wrong?

Oh, no. What?
What's wrong with Charlotte?

Is she sick?
Is that what's on her plate?

No. No, no, no, no, no.

No, she's not--
Charlotte isn't sick.

Well, something is wrong,
clearly!

- Are the kids okay?
- Yes, the kids

are absolutely okay!

- Okay.
- Okay.

And Harry?

- Is he sick?
- [sighs]

Oh, my God!
Harry's sick.

No! No!
No, Harry is not sick.

Well, someone is sick!

You just, like, froze
when I asked if--

It-- It's--
it's the dog!

Richard Burton
has dog cancer.

He has an incurable tumor.

- Oh, no.
- And he's dying.

Also, just don't say
anything to her,

'cause she's really--

She just--
she doesn't wanna--
She's having a hard--

she doesn't wanna
talk about it.

Okay, yes.

We have to go all out
and make sure it's fun.

- All the fun.
- Yes.

- Charlotte needs fun.
- Yes!

Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun.

[Seema]
I live two blocks away,

and today I was thinking,

why am I taking an expensive,
dirty cab downtown

to get my eyelash extensions

when I can just walk
into Lattes and Lashes?

Why don't you
just take a Uber?

- [gum smacking]
- Here, let me take that.

- [gum popping]
- Your nails are
really something.

- Don't they get in the way?
- The way of what?

Here, I'm just gonna put
your pad on your face, okay?

[gum popping]

Okay, ready?

- [chair clattering]
- Here you go.

[♪ pop music playing in salon]

You know,
you don't have to rush.

I have cleared two hours.

Two hours?

I got three people
waiting, diva.

- Period.
- Three people waiting?

Oh, so you must be
really good at this.

You are good at this, right?

I'm the best.
[chuckles]

[gum popping continues]

[♪ soft, calm music playing]

Hey, um...
[clicking tongue]
would you like to come

to my friend Charlotte's
birthday party?

No, absolutely not.
Deal-breaker.

[laughing] Come on!
It'll be fun.

Anyway, that's the goal.

Carrie told me that
Charlotte's dog has cancer

so this party is supposed
to lift her spirits.

Y-You buried the lede!
God, that's awful.

God, if something
happened to my dogs,

I simply don't think
I could go on.

[clicking tongue]
What's the poor pup's name?

[gulping]
Um, Richard Burton.

Oh, I would say
something snide here,

but I named mine
Sappho and Socrates.

[both laughing]

[distant street noise,
cars honking]

[phone buzzing]

Hello, you.

She hates me, right?

Giuseppe's mother?
So nasty.

Um... I...

I think she was nice.

Yeah, but, like,
nice-nasty though, right?

Like, Duck, Duck, Goose?

Nice to you, nice to Char,
nasty to me?

I hate to confirm
your conspiracy theory,

but, um, I am meeting
Gia for lunch today.

Gia?

Now it's Gia,
and it's lunch?

[Carrie]
Don't get mad.
She invited me.

We kinda hit it off
the other day.

Ah, of course, you did,
'cause you're not me.

- [phone chimes]
- Oh, my gosh, Anthony.

I have to get ready.
I'm sorry, I gotta go.

Go! Go!
Have lunch with your "Gia."

But put in a good word for me?

What, you want me
to pimp you out to his mom?

You have to.
I love him, he loves me,

he loves her,
and she hates me.

And what's with the fancy airs?
And the accent?

She's from Buffalo,
home of the chicken wing.

Alright, I'll try.

Goodbye!

[Carrie] So, yes,
I-- I write about love,

and men and women.

So, I'm always interested
in other people's love stories.

There's so much to say about
Giuseppe's father and myself.

Where to start?

Well... [sighs]

I was 21,
and his father was almost 50.

- [Carrie] Hmm.
- [Gianna giggling]

[sighs]
Shocking for America,

but for Roma, not so much.

Alessandro was my first man,

and after him,
the only man I ever wanted.

Mm. That's magical.

Well... it wasn't all magic.

My husband's teen children
loathed me from day one.

Nothing I did mattered.
Infuriating.

So much so,
that I dropped art

and dove head-first
into Freudian theory,

just to try to figure out
their psyche.

Sorry, I shouldn't spout on
about stepchildren, but...

[both chuckle]

...I guess Sancerre
is the gateway to truth.

- [both laugh]
- Not at all.

It's actually--
it's very interesting.

My boyfriend has children,
and, um...

it's complicated.

Oh, so you're the enemy too?

No.

No, no, no, I--
I don't think.

Well...

maybe with one.

So, do you have any, uh,
professional perspective
to share?

[sighs]
Don't waste years

trying to be who
you think they'll accept.

Inauthentic beings never win.

Be yourself.

That way, at least,
they're meeting the real you.

And just remember,
it's always complicated

when a new love enters
an established dynamic.

Hmm.

Well, speaking of new loves,

I would be remiss
if I didn't tell you

that Anthony is
one of the most authentic

and loving people
I've ever known.

Maybe I have him wrong.

Well, how do you have him?

I'd rather not say.

[♪ lounge music playing]

- [employee] Hi, ladies.
- [customer] Hi.

Oh, my goodness.

[indistinct chatter]

[customer 2]
These are all the same?

[attendant]
Yes, all of these.

Harry?

Harry!

Harry!

Uh...

uh, hi, honey!

What-- What are y--
What are you doing here?

I'm buying Lily
a "life isn't over" gift.

What are you doing here?

- Harry!
- Oh, boy.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

- Uh...
- [Bonnie clearing throat]

I did not want you two
to ever meet.

Well, Harry, do you want
to tell her, or should I?

Tell me what?
And bear in mind,

I cannot hear
any more bad news.

Bonnie...

is my personal shopper.

- She picks out all your gifts.
- [Bonnie chuckles softly]

Birthdays, anniversaries,
Hanukkah.

Bonnie, I would like you
to meet your wife, Charlotte.

Oh, hello.
[chuckles]

Nice to meet you.

- And you have beautiful taste.
- [Bonnie] Aw.

Uh, but I do not need
a birthday gift this year.

And you should be
at home resting.

That is what I told him.
So brave.

[Bonnie chuckles]

Well, any needs,
I'm-- I'm here.

Charlotte, I love that
you are wearing that blouse.

I wasn't sure
if it was too bold
of a color for you.

[sighs, chuckles]

[footsteps receding]

"So brave"?

You told Bonnie?

I had to tell somebody.
It was driving me crazy.

Do you know how hard it is
not to talk to anybody about it?

Do I?
Yes, yes, I do!

I think I do!

You can tell Bonnie,
and I can't tell my friends?

Bonnie is at Bergdorf's.
She's not part of our lives.

Wha-- It's totally
different, babe.
It just is.

[sighs deeply] Okay.

Let's go home.

- Oh, damn.
- [Charlotte sighs]

I wanted to get you
the perfect
birthday gift this year.

Don't you mean
Bonnie wanted to get me

the perfect birthday
gift this year?

What, you want another
Van Cleef and Arpels
Lucky Animal dog clip?

'Cause that's me
without Bonnie, okay?

- Okay.
- [Harry sighs]

Come on.

[doorbell ringing]

[Carrie giggles]

Well, to what do I owe this...

What-- wait a minute,
what's happening? Why--

Why is your left eye smaller
than your right eye?

Cute story.

- I was just at
Union Square Café...
- Mm-hmm?

- ...trying to land
a big client.
- Ooh.

And my cheap-ass eyelashes
started to molt.

- Well, what's cute about that?
- Nothing.

- Day-drinking is required.
- Mm.

Uh, champagne or rosé?

Champagne.

Hey, stranger.
What are we celebrating?

Clearly, not you finally
finishing Carrie's yard.

Well, good things take time.

You wanna-- you wanna
come outside and see?

Oh, I don't do dirt.

Seema's having
a challenging day.

Which is even
more reason for her

to attend
Charlotte's birthday party.

Did you just backdoor me
a party invite?

I most certainly did,

because I need this party
to be fun,

and no one's
more fun than you.

- I'm fun.
- Well, "Fun Adam,"

would you like to join us
for a drink Saturday night?

I would.
Yeah, we'll both be there.

Right, Seema?

Oh. [clicking tongue]
Well, it depends

what I'm doing
Thursday and Friday.

Wait, your-- your
left eye's a little red.

Well, of course, it is.
I started taking cabs

for the first time in years,

and beyond being so unsexy,

I think they gave me
whatever this is.

It's a loose eyelash.

- Ooh.
- Uh, may I?

- It's clean.
- Mm-hmm.

[♪ rhythmic percussion
music playing]

Make a wish and blow.

I wish Carrie's yard
was finished.

Are you gonna blow?

Don't make me call HR.

Okay, I'll blow for you.

[blows quickly]

Gonna turn
the water off soon.

- Nice seeing you.
- [door opens]

Well, what was that?

- Nothing.
- Sure felt like something.

Well, he's got
a yogi girlfriend somewhere

and I am way too busy
building a fake company

to be building
a fake relationship.

[clicking tongue]
If you say so.

That's great, you can
just put them, you know,

against the wall and--
oh, here they are.

You guys can decide
what's the best--

- [party horn blowing]
- Ooh.

Did someone order fun?!

God, Miranda!
Those are, um--

Wow, gosh,
those are very pink.

- Her favorite color!
- [Carrie] Mm-hmm.

Oh, where do you want
the karaoke machine,
Aunt Carrie?

- Um, is "not here" an option?
- [Brady] I told you.

- [Miranda gasps]
- You rented a karaoke machine?

No, I bought it.
It was cheaper.

You said, "all out."

Nothing says "all out"
like balloons and karaoke!

- [balloon popping,
party horn blowing]
- [Carrie shrieks]

Isn't it great?
They have confetti in them!

[knocking]

[sighs]

I'm here to apologize
in advance

because tonight,
there will be-- what...

Wait, those are my pages.
Are you-- are you reading--

are you reading
my chapter right now?

Just finished.

It's brilliant.

- [sighs deeply]
- That opening sentence?

"The woman wondered
what she'd gotten herself into."

It just stopped me
dead in my tracks.

Really? I have--
oh, my God,
I'm so relieved.

And the way it flows
is so propulsive.

Well, you may want
to stop complimenting me

because I came to tell you

that tonight there
will be noise upstairs.

A lot of noise.

Like, um,
karaoke, birthday,

- Cosmopolitans-level noise.
- Oh, I see.

So, instead of gifting you
a hotel room,

which I did consider...

I'm begging you to join us.

And if, um, you know,
you have any critique,

bad or, you know,
I suppose good,

uh, you can tell me
over a drink and karaoke.

Regrettably, karaoke.

I love karaoke.

Well, that, my friend,
is what they call in the biz...

[chuckles]
...a plot twist.

[Miranda]
Oh, Carrie.

- The caterer's here.
- Oh, already?

- Yeah.
- Oh.

Oops!

[whispering]
Here, let me...

[♪ curious music playing]

[worker]
Could one of you
give me a hand?

- Oh, hi.
- Hello.

- Here, let me help.
- Oh, okay. Thank you.

- Is that good?
- Oh, perfect.

Great.

[sighs]
But do I have to come?

Well, no, honey,
I guess you don't have to come.

Okay, Rock,
so we're leaving in 20.

- Get up.
- Mom said I didn't have to.

She obviously
didn't mean it.

Lily, Mom's going
through something.

I saw her sobbing
in the pantry yesterday.

She's been totally
stressed lately
and needs us there.

Mom doesn't want me
there like this,

and it's not even
a big birthday.

You make Mom treat
every one of your birthdays
like they're big ones!

The My Little Pony themed
eighth birthday

with actual ponies.

Your Fortnite 14th?

The super weird, "ironic"
Little Mermaid themed 17th

at the South Street Seaport.

The least we can do
is be there.

I can't.

[scoffs]

Get out of
the fucking bed, Ariel.

- [people cheering]
- [host] For anybody
in the audience

who's got a birthday today,
happy birthday to you!

Smile!
Over here, Mr. Burton!

Okay, maybe we should stop

and take a picture
with the whole family.

Lily, come on,
Mom wants a photo.

- [Miranda] Okay.
- Maybe later.

Okay, well,
why don't you at least sit up

because someone else will
want to sit on the sofa too.

[Miranda] N-- Uh, nope.
Uh, hold on.

Uh, do-over with Charlotte
and Richard Burton.

He didn't look at the camera.

Oh, uh, okay.

- Rock, I guess we're out.
- Okay.

- [doorbell ringing]
- [Miranda] Hey!

Who's a Richard Burton?
Mommy's birthday is today!

- Hi!
- Hello.

I'm guessing from
the proprietary heft
of your door swing

- that you must be Carrie.
- Ah, yes, I am.

- Is my swing hefty?
- It is.

- [Carrie] [chuckles] Oh.
- I'm Joy, Miranda's friend.

Oh, hello!

- [Miranda] Hey! Mm.
- Hey.

[both] Mwah!

Um, as you can see, Carrie,

we're a little more
than friends.

Ah, yes, I already knew.

- She kisses and tells.
- [chuckles]

- Here, I'll take that.
- Oh, thanks.

[chuckles]
Wow, quite the vocabulary.

- Impressive!
- [Miranda laughing]

Come this way, you have
to meet the birthday girl.

Oh, my God!
Is this Joy?!

- It is! Joy, this is Charlotte.
- Ah! Oh!

What a--
What a festive little hat.

Oh, yes. Yes, it is!
And meet the rest of my family.

This is Harry, and Rock,
and that's Lily over there.

- [Joy] Oh, look at you!
- And I'm out again.

Oh!

I've heard all about this
living legend from Miranda.

Well, she was very adamant
that I bring him tonight.

Well, naturally,
you really have to spend

every moment you have
left with him.

I wouldn't let him
leave my side!

- [doorbell ringing]
- She's a real dog person.

[♪ upbeat party music playing]

[gasps] Happy Birthday!

Hi! You made it!

Oh, and you brought Henry!

I invited him. Dude.

- Dude.
- Harry, my man.

Oh!
I am a person at the party.

- Herbert.
- How you doing?

No way!

They have GEARDON Pro
with touchscreen tablet karaoke!

Oh, they have karaoke.

Oh! They have karaoke!

♪ I had a dream
my life would be ♪

♪ So different from
this hell I'm living ♪

Oh, honey, he does not
want my life.

- He's either, like, 14 or 90.
- [laughing]

- Last year's school play.
- Oh.

♪ Now life has killed
the dream ♪

♪ I dreamed ♪

- [applause]
- [Richard Burton whimpers]

[Miranda] Wow!

Um, okay!

We have a whole list
of fun, "up,"

non-French-Revolution-themed
party songs.

Please tell your son
not to go again.

- Oh, now he's my son?
- When he's singing karaoke,

he's your son.
It's too much.

Who is next?

[Brady] Ooh.

I could go again.

[Miranda]
Oh, yeah, well...

♪ I'm hopelessly
devoted to you ♪

[Bitsy] Thank you
for inviting me, Charlotte.

Oh, thank you.
I need a little pick-me-up.

- Oh.
- My trainer Mateo

is moving back to Portugal.

- Now, who will I pulse
and squeeze with?
- [Charlotte clicks tongue]

- [doorbell ringing]
- [Henry] ♪ I'm out of my head ♪

♪ Hopelessly devoted to you ♪

[people chattering]

- [Anthony gasps]
- [Carrie] [gasps] Welcome!

I'm so glad you could come.

- Come on in.
- [Anthony] Thanks, Carrie.

- That's for Char.
- Okay. Hi.

- Thank you for having us.
- [Carrie] Of course.

♪ Hopelessly devoted to you ♪

Anthony, what's wrong?

We brought Maleficent
with us.

- Oh.
- If it comes up, I'm 49.

Okay, I'm 53.

Fifty-eight, final offer.

Charlotte, uh, you remember
Giuseppe's mother,

Dottoressa Gianna Amato.

Charlotte,
please call me Gia.

Of course! Welcome.

Thank you.

If it comes up,
I was never married.

Okay. Neither was I.

Oh my, so handsome!
[chuckles]

I guess it's true
what they say:

"When God closes a door,
he opens a dreamy window."

[laughing] Ooh.

♪ Copa ♪

I'm gonna have to
send out apology notes.

♪ Copacabana ♪

- [Rock laughing]
- [applause]

Henry. Again.

[laughing]
Three times in a row!

Uh, I didn't, uh,
expect this

- to turn into a full-blown...
- [♪ music stops]

...one-boy cabaret,
but here we are.

- [laughter]
- [Lisa] Henry, have some cake.

- [♪ upbeat pop music playing]
- [Miranda gasps]

I think it's time for a little
Girls Just Want to Have Fun.

- Am I right?
- Just when you think

- it couldn't get worse.
- [Carrie laughing]

[Miranda]
Okay, uh, let's have some
fresh faces up here.

Uh, let me see.
Where my girls at?

- Come and join me!
- Oh, God. Can she see me?

- Please tell me
she can't see me.
- [Miranda] Let's, um...

- Carrie!
- Yes?

Come on over.

We want Charlotte
to have some fun, right?

Oh, gosh, thank you, no,

but I'm just--
I'm too busy hosting.

Does anybody--
anybody need anything?

- You're good?
- No, thanks!

Um, Charlotte?

- Hmm?
- [Miranda] B-day girl,

come on, uh,

I mean, like we used to
back in the day!

N-No, thank you, Miranda.
I'm fine!

Okay, okay.
Who can we-- [gasps]

Hey, Lily!

Come on and join me
up here, huh? Come on!

Girls Just Want to Have Fun,
am I right?

Come on, are--
am I right, Lily?
Am I right?

Girls just want
to be left alone!

Oh, sorry.

Okay. [chuckles]

- [♪ music stopping]
- N-No.

No one wants to sing now,
so let's do gifts!

Girls just wanna open gifts,
am I right?

Uh, we're gonna do gifts now!

I didn't bring a gift, did you?

I have a rule.
I don't get gifts

for anyone who owns
in New York.

I brought a candle,
just in case.

- Great. Put my name on it.
- Ooh, mine too.

We can't put three names
on a $40 re-gifted candle.

- Or can we?
- [doorbell ringing]

- Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
- Why?

- No.
- Just do it.

- [door closes]
- She brought--

Well, what the Pirates
of Park Avenue is that?

And since when
does Louis Vuitton

- make an eyepatch?
- They don't.

It used to be a fanny pack,
but I was desperate.

- Aren't you handy?
- The eye doctor said

I had to cover it for a week
thanks to that infection

from that low-brow
eyebrow technician.

[laughing] Ahoy!

Me fashionable matey.

Mm.
This was caused by you

sticking your dirty finger
into my eye.

If you'd worked
a little quicker

and finished the garden
before I stopped by,

we could have
avoided an injury.

Are ye gonna make me
walk the plank, Cap'n?

Oh, Lulu,
should we take the cake out

so it's room temp
before we cut it?

- Sure.
- Oh, thanks.

Oh, and um,
we need more champagne.

- You got it.
- Okay. Thank you.

[Lulu] Bring out
more champagne, Lonnie.

Ooh, I think
I'm gonna need something

a bit stronger than that, darling.

Oh, you came.

Well, I thought
your karaoke warning
was a bit dramatic,

but it turns out
you were exactly right.

Show tunes carry straight down
through the floorboards.

- [Miranda]
And here's the next one!
- [Bitsy] Oh, oh, oh!

- That's mine!
That one's from me!
- Wow!

I said no gifts!

I'm afraid
I've come gift-less.

Oh, I, uh, I actually have
no idea what is happening.

This has somehow turned
into some sort of strange

- birthday/baby shower mashup.
- Ah.

Would you care to join me
on the back terrace...

for a smoke?

Oh. I thought you were
asking me to join you

on the back terrace
to jump off.

- [gasps]
- [Bitsy] Fendi.

- It's beautiful!
- Aw!

We are fucked.

I didn't know if it
was maybe a big birthday!

- No, no, no, no!
- [light laughter]

Well, it's impossible
to tell these days.

Everyone looks so good.

I know a woman, 80,
whose face is only 50.

Yes, she wears a turtleneck
swimsuit in the pool,

- but, you know,
the face, gorgeous.
- [laughter]

I've been thinking,

and I'd like to know
more about you
and your business, Anthony.

Oh. Well...

Okay, that's nice.
Ask away.

So, you're selling sex, yes?

Uh, no, I'm selling bread.

Yes, bread,

but with a bulge.

The uniform is all
about sex, yes?

Well, I think it's
more about fun.

Just-- it's just fun.

So, you think sex
is just about fun?

Interesting.

- You seem nervous.
- [crunching loudly]

Of course, I'm nervous.
I want you to like me.

Oh. Interesting.

[Charlotte]
Wow, gorgeous! Mm!

[sighs]
It transported me
to New York.

And then I realized,
"Wait, I'm in New York."

- [chuckles]
- But the period motif,

which is... [scoffs]
impossible, mind you,

I think you're really
onto something.

Because it's such
a modern sensibility,

but it's anchored in this
completely grounded

and beautifully
detailed tableau.

[Carrie chuckles]

- The "woman"?
- Mm?

She's vibrant and--
and she's completely alive.

I'm serious, I think
you should be really proud.

- [party guests chattering]
- [Carrie] Hmm.

Whoo!

[Lulu]
I need more champagne.

- That's mine.
- [Miranda gasps]

That was so
unnecessary of you.

- What did you get her?
- Well, I spoke to my vet,

and they suggested CBD treats
'cause they're supposed to be

really good
for terminal-stage pets.

- So, I just got the whole lot.
- No, no, no, no!

[whispering]
You're not supposed
to know about the dog.

It's a secret!

Well, maybe, just maybe,
you should have given me

that very important information
a little bit earlier.

Oh! I, uh-- Excuse me, sorry!

- Oh, my goodness.
- Oh!

- [Charlotte] You okay?
- Sorry! I'm so sorry.

Um, I-- I just realized,
just in this moment,

that I've-- I've given you
the wrong present.

- [Charlotte] Oh!
- I'm so sorry, silly me.

I'm going to
another party tomorrow!

- [Miranda laughing]
- Okay!

[Joy] Sorry!

- Here!
- Oh.

Now, I'm officially
getting embarrassed!

Oh, a candle!

That's from Anastasia and me.

- And my gift will be a song.
- Okay!

♪ Do I love you,
my, oh my ♪

♪ Yeah, river deep,
mountain high, yeah, yeah ♪

Harry.
I just wanted you to know

that when
the unthinkable happens,

of course, Charlotte will be
devastated by the loss,

but we'll be there for her.

[Lela]
♪ Baby ♪

[♪ holding note]

And that is not a re-gift!

[cheering and applause]

There you are.
Come here.

Did you tell Miranda
about my situation?

Of course not.

You asked me
not to tell anyone.

That's what you asked.

I thought maybe
you told Miranda

because I told Bonnie.

Well, there's no way I could
follow Janis Joplin over there.

[chuckles] Still, I did
pick a song that I love.

But it's a duet.

- [party guests] Ohh!
- [Bitsy] So...

would you do me the honor?

[guests cheering, whistling]

♪ Tell me something, boy ♪

♪ Aren't you tired
trying to fill that void? ♪

You know how I said
I was a fan of karaoke?

Um, I was,
until very recently.

- [Carrie laughing]
- ♪ Keepin' it so hardcore? ♪

♪ I'm falling ♪

- ♪ In all the good times ♪
- Excuse me.

Carrie, could I talk to you
for a second?

- Sure, yeah.
- Sorry.

♪ Longin' for change ♪

What? What's up?

Did you tell Miranda
about Harry being sick?

No. I would never.

Well, she said
something to him

about when
"the unthinkable happens."

Oh!

No, no, no, no, no.

Miranda almost guessed
that Harry was sick,

so I told her that, um,

Richard Burton
had an incurable tumor.

[gasps]

Oh, no!

[emotional]
That's almost worse!

[both singing]
♪ In the sha-sha,
sha-la-la, la-low ♪

Can I have another one, please?
Thank you.

♪ Sha-la-low ♪

I think it's so...
[scoffs]

What is the word
I am looking for?

Tragic, maybe.

When someone older
lusts after someone younger.

What do you think
about that, Anthony?

Oh, you don't wanna know
what I'm thinking...

Gia.

♪ Ahh ♪

♪ Ah, ha ♪

♪ I'm off the deep end,
watch as I dive in ♪

It's not about you.

Miranda thinks
that Mr. Burton

has an incurable tumor.

That's almost worse for you!

Why does she think that?

Carrie told her that
to stop her from
learning about you.

And, yes.

I'm sorry.
I told Carrie.

I had to!
I was going crazy

trying to keep all this
to myself.

Okay. Come on.

- Come on.
- [Carrie] I'm so nervous.

- What?
- Thank you. Mm-hmm.

Okay, enough with this
whisper down the lane.

Richard Burton is not dying.

- Wait. What, is the dog sick?
- No, he's fine.

[sighs]
I have prostate cancer.

- Harry!
- Oh, my God, Harry!

But, but, but, but, but...
we caught it early,

I'm having surgery
next week.

They say it will be fine.

The real tragedy here is that
I asked my lovely, devoted wife

to keep it secret
from her best friends.

That was not smart.
It was not fair.

So, now,
you can talk about it

and then maybe
she can breathe a little.

Best birthday gift ever.

- So, taxi cabs are "not sexy."
- Mm-mm.

- And city buses are a "hell no."
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, have you ever--
you ever been in a pedicab?

- Mm-mm.
- Oh, well.

[scoffs] Times Square.

You got gridlocked tourists,

Jay-Z's
Empire State of Mind

blasting through
shitty speakers
right into your ear.

I had to get out of the cab.

I-- I laid right there on
Broadway, I said to the driver,

"Dude, just run me
the fuck over."

- [snickering, snorting]
- [chuckles] Oh, okay.

An eyepatch and a snort.
You're a real catch.

- [Adam chuckles]
- [Seema sighs]

This must be so refreshing.

I'm sure your yoga lady
doesn't snort.

Actually, um,
there is no more yoga lady.

I ended things with her

when I smelled your perfume
that first time.

Oh.

Well, I'm just gonna grab
some fresh drinks.

- [♪ song ends]
- [cheering and applause]

[people chattering]

Okay.

[sighs]
Mama, we should go.
You have an early flight.

- I want to stay.
- For how long?

Because I really
need to go somewhere
and crawl into a hole.

Oh, no, not stay here.

Stay in New York
for another week.

But why?
You-- you hate New York.

But I love my boy.

Did you enjoy the party?

Too much singing for my taste.
Shall we?

Oh, excuse me.
Wait--

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, hold on there,

Cap'n Jaqueline Sparrow,
you're not leaving.

- He's available.
- Mm-hmm.

- I've got an eyepatch.
- Mm.

So, I'm Irish-goodbye-ing.

Well, see, you're telling me,
so technically,

- that doesn't really qualify
as an Irish goodbye 'cause--
- Fine.

I'm Indian-goodbye-ing.

- Okay.
- He might be just drunk enough

to forget this ever existed.

[Adam] Okay,
this goes out to the girl

who has the most
beautiful eye
I've ever seen.

[scattered laughter]

[♪ "Bette Davis Eyes"
by Kim Carnes playing]

♪ Her hair is Harlow gold ♪

♪ Her lips
a sweet surprise ♪

♪ Her hands
are never cold ♪

♪ She's got
Bette Davis eye ♪

♪ She'll turn her music
on you ♪

♪ You won't have
to think twice ♪

[Adam chuckles]

♪ She's pure
as New York snow ♪

♪ She's got
Bette Davis eye ♪

♪ And she'll tease you,
she'll unease you ♪

♪ All the better
just to please you ♪

♪ She's precocious,
and she knows just what it ♪

♪ Takes to make a pro blush ♪

♪ She's got Greta Garbo's
standoff sighs ♪

♪ She's got Bette Davis eyes ♪

♪ She'll let you
take her home ♪

♪ It whets her appetite ♪

Maybe a taxi can be sexy.

♪ She got Bette Davis eyes ♪

♪ She'll take a tumble on you ♪

♪ Roll you
like you were dice ♪

[Carrie]
Trying to resist a pun here,

but it was a total joy
to meet Joy.

- [Miranda] Oh, yeah.
- [Carrie chuckles]

- [Miranda] Isn't she great?
- [Carrie] Yeah.

[Miranda]
It just feels so...
I don't know.

S-- Effortless?

[Carrie] Amazing.

I think people
enjoyed the karaoke.

Sure, if that's the story
you're telling yourself.

It is.

And now, you have
your own karaoke machine

for all your future party needs.
Oh, yes, you do!

I do not have room
at my apartment.

And you have all this space

- for a party, remember?
- [chuckles] Mm.

I think Charlotte
had a fun time.

- Aw, she did. I'm so glad.
- Oh!

Yay! Us!

And you and Duncan
seemed to be
having fun as well.

Kinda caught
a little vibe there.

Saw you across the room
laughing and sipping his drink.

Yes, I laughed
and I sipped a drink.

What are you saying?

Wait, are you upset?

I don't understand
what's happening right now.

We were just doing a fun
little party debrief.

Miranda,
I'm in a relationship.

[Miranda]
Well, of course, you are!

I was just saying,
it was nice
to see you having fun.

I don't have fun?

I'm-- I'm not saying
anything is going on.

It's just... [sighs]

- You know what? Never mind.
- No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, don't-- don't--
don't do that.

It-- it's just...

what?

It's just,
sometimes it seems like...

[sighs]

...like you're working
so hard with Aidan.

Well, yes, I--
I guess I am.

Not all relationships
are effortless.

Yes. I got it.

I-- I know Joy and I have
only been together for--

For what?
A few weeks?

- A month.
- Well, that's great.

Aidan and I
are over 20 years in,

and it's-- it's complicated
right now.

So, yes, maybe I laughed
and had a sip of Scotch.

I am allowed to laugh
and sip Scotch.

Of course, you are.
That's what I'm saying.

No, that's not
what you're saying.

What are you really saying?

Nothing, just...

"The woman wondered what
she had gotten herself into."

- It's in your book.
- Well, I know it's my book.

How do you know
it's in my book?

You-- you left it here
this afternoon,

and I-- I picked it up
to move for the caterer,

and I glanced at it.

Was I not supposed
to read it?

I wrote that months ago.
Like, months and months ago.

So, you're not confused now?

It's fiction.
Set in 1846.

Oh.

Well, I didn't read that far.

So, it's not you.

Uh, well, I'm glad.

I'm-- I'm sorry I-- I said
those silly things before.

- [door opens]
- I-- I was really--

- Hey, the trash is all out.
- Aw.

- Uh, I had to use your
neighbor's cans, too.
- Oh, boy.

- You need me to do
anything else?
- [chuckles]

No. No.

- I think we're all good.
- [Miranda] Yeah, we're good.

We're good, right?

- We're good.
- Okay.

Okay, well,
we should head out.

Do you know
anybody who, uh,

wants a top-of-the-line
karaoke machine?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

You gave me that
for another party.

[chuckling]
Okay!

Hey, fun party.

That Henry kid,
he loves a ballad, huh?

Oh, my God.

- Oh!
- Oh, my God, that was crazy!

- [Brady laughing]
- [Miranda] Goodnight.

Goodnight,
goodnight, goodnight.

- Mm. Night.
- Goodnight.

- [Miranda sighing]
- Oh, wait, wait, wait! Here!

- Take one of these!
- Oh! Thank you.

You're welcome.

- Love you.
- Love you, too.

[♪ "The Hardest Part"
by Olivia Dean playing]

♪ Call me up to meet you ♪

- [whispering] Hello, you.
- [Shoe meowing]

♪ Static on the phone ♪

♪ Normally, I need you ♪

♪ This time,
I don't wanna go ♪

[Carrie] The woman held on
to what she knew to be true.

Everything's fine, Shoe.

It's fine.

[balloon popping]

♪ So, even if I could,
wouldn't go back
where we started ♪

♪ I know you're still waiting,
wondering where my heart is ♪

♪ Pray that things
won't change ♪

♪ But the hardest part is ♪

♪ You're realizing maybe I,
maybe I ain't the same ♪

♪ And what you're waiting for
ain't there no more anyway ♪

♪ Held you up so highly,
deep under your spell ♪

♪ Your opinions
would define me ♪

♪ This time, I made
some for myself ♪

♪ 'Cause lately I been certain
there's no further to go ♪

♪ Yeah, you had
the chance to love me ♪

♪ But apparently you won't,
no, you won't ♪

♪ So, even if I could,
wouldn't go back
where we started ♪

♪ I know you're still waiting,
wondering where my heart is ♪

♪ Pray that things
won't change ♪

♪ But the hardest part is ♪

♪ You're realizing maybe I,
maybe I ain't the same ♪

♪ And what you're, maybe I,
maybe I ain't the same ♪

♪ And what you're waiting for
ain't there no more anyway ♪