All language subtitles for The.Only.Way.is.Essex.S35E07.1080p.ITV.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-TBN_track3_[eng]

# The only, the only, the only

# The only way is up

# Baby

# For you and me now

# Ooh, ooh-ooh. #

# You know it's taken me... #

FREDDIE: Ooh!

Right, mats are already out.
That's good.

Great sign!
And branches.

Why are there branches?
For food.

But where are the goats?

What position do we go? Doggie?

GOATS BLEAT,
THEY SCREAM

Oh!
There's a big one!

Just lay flat, Dani.

GOATS BLEAT

Oh, God! Hello!

Ah! Just take what you want
and leave!

Hello! Come on down onto your mat.
Isn't yoga supposed to be relaxing?

I don't like this brown one.

No, seriously, this big brown one...
SHE LAUGHS

I'm surrounded by the big ones.

# Lose all track of time... #

BILLY: Who's serving?
DAN: Ball there.

ROMAN: I'm serving. Thank you, Bill.

Love that!
Love that, Bill.

# When it's right... #

You're up.

Go on, dude.
That's you.

Oh!
1-0. 1-0.

Yes, Bill!

LAUGHTER
He's in!

Oh, he's in! He's off!

The pace on him!

# I know it's not that deep

# The secrets that you keep... #

GOAT BLEATS

Just ignore it!
Is that its balls?

Take this time just to settle.
Oh, my God!

Just become familiar
with your surroundings.

What, goats?
Goats, indeed.

Take your fingertips
onto your shoulders.

Circle your elbows.
ELLA SHRIEKS

Oh, my God!
I think they can sense scared.

GOAT BLEATS
Oh, it's the noise!

Oh, I think I've wet myself.

What are you doing?!
I don't know.

Incontinent pads!
I don't know!

HE SCREAMS

I'm done. I'm done!

GOAT BLEATS

Well, that was a lot.
That was eventful, weren't it?

I loved it.
I was sweating.

I did love it.

You were quite at one with it.
I was impressed.

I really zoned in
and Zen with the goats.

You did.

ELLA LAUGHS
How did you like it?

No, I couldn't stand it.

I had a horn in the face,
and trampled on by hooves.

Honestly, it was horrendous.
How can you honestly relax to that?

Yeah.
I did. At least I've laughed.

So, youse threw the NFI party.
How was that?

Oh, it was amazing, yeah.

I thought, initially,
it was hilarious. I laughed...

It was quite funny. I thought
make light of a bit of a shit time.

Why, what's happened, Elm?

On the actual day,
it didn't go down very well.

Didn't it?
No. It's all well and good

youse going out
and cheering up Saffron.

That isn't the issue.
That was never the issue.

I think it's more so
that Courtney felt like

that it was made, like,
a bit of a...

Mockery. Like a mug-off.
Yeah, it was mockery.

DANI: A dig.
Yeah, it was a dig.

It's her 30th birthday.
Obviously, yeah...

I can assure everyone right now
that this was not a dig.

I did say you're not malicious.
This was to put a smile...

It was humour.
..on Saffy-Waffy's face.

Well, look,
she did leave the party and go home.

Courtney?!
Oh, behave! She's pathetic.

No, but I think she felt upset
cos when youse are throwing a party

and saying, "Not invited,"

she feels that
youse are picking at her,

and she doesn't have a problem
with you.

She was really upset. She was.
It's been hard for her all week.

Listen, I ain't got a problem
with Courtney.

I've got more of a problem
with Harry after all of this.

Oh, my God. Yeah, Harry.
Whoa, whoa, hold on a minute.

I don't... I don't want
the friendship any more.

Oh, really? Completely done with it?
Done with it.

But it is my nan's anniversary
this week,

so I've said to my dad
I want to mark it,

you know, like, the first one.

Yeah, course.
The first anniversary.

Just do, like, an East End,
you know, like, Pearly party.

Pie and mash.
ALL MURMUR IN AGREEMENT

Shall we get...? What's the, um...?
What's it called? Bunting.

Like, the British bunting.
Yeah, the old... Yeah.

Yeah, let's do that.
But I think I will invite Courtney.

I think so.
That'd be nice.

That's a lovely idea.

Cos me and Courtney,
when that happened to my nan,

I spoke to Courtney a lot,

and that's where
our bond come from, really.

I'm not going to carry on
this bad feeling.

# If you tried
Just a little more times

# I would have made you a believer

# Would have showed you
What it's like

# If you stayed
Just another few... #

BILLY: That's it.
SAMMY: There we go.

Good one. Aw, have that.

CHEERING

Have that!
ROMAN: There you go.

LAUGHTER
Nice, Dan.

An eagle soaring through the air.

Leave it. Leave it.
Aw!

Tell you what, Diags has got game.
I underestimated you, Diags.

I think this might be a sport
that he's good at.

# To be born again, baby
To be born again... #

It's you. Ooh!
You're letting the team down now.

# To be born again
To be born again. #

Ah!
Come on!

Ah!
Yes, Ro!

Unbeaten!
I tell you what, what a game.

Great game, lads.

ALL: Padel, padel, padel, padel,
padel, padel, padel, padel!

Boys, boys, boys, boys, boys!

Lads, lads, lads!
THEY CHEER

Yeah!
Yes!

Get off. You're all sweaty.
You're all sweaty and dirty.

Do you know what?
I think Diags was the best player.

I've never seen you stretch.
You've got long arms.

Can I just say one thing?

Never played padel once in my life.
That was my first ever game.

Well done. Yeah, but you've got
a bit of tennis in you.

Yeah, I've got a bit of tennis
in me, mate. Yeah.

A bit of Andy.
A bit of fucking Roger.

THEY LAUGH

Enough of this. Enough of this.
It's just good to see Bill back.

Thanks. Thanks, boys.
Do you know what?

It's nice to be out with the boys.

I forgot what you looked like.
Where have you been?

Mate, just life in general
just taking over. Babies.

Babies. Renovation works.

Just... everything.
Oh, yeah, you got your pool.

When's the pool party?

You got a pool?
Couple of weeks.

Look, it's unbelievable,
and for the kids, it's amazing,

but just - fuck me -
the work it's taken.

It's been like...

You're not digging it yourself,
are you? Nah!

Mate, I probably could have
dug it quicker, to be fair.

How are you doing, Sammy?
I'm getting there.

This take your mind off things?
It has.

I'm just at the point now
where I'm sort of...

Just leave that in the past,
crack on.

Mate, you was all right
the other day at the party.

Yeah, we had fun, didn't we?
We made the best of a bad situation.

Wait, have you messaged her
since we last spoke? Nah.

Not spoke to her at all. I just...
Good.

I'm not going to move on doing that.

Listen, the best thing you can do
is just stay busy.

Just take your mind off her
and you'll be sweet.

# Dance in the sunlight
Dance in the sunlight

# Dance in the sunlight... #

ALL: Cheers!

THEY CHEER

Snacks!
ELMA: I need help. I need help.

Yeah, perfect.
Stunning.

This is gorge.
This is just what we needed.

So, the NFI party,
I couldn't make it.

I was at a spa. Sorry.

We went.
Oh, you was missed.

What happened?
Oh, my God. We had the best time.

We actually had a really nice time.

I need to know who the host was,
or hostess.

Like...
Freddie.

Makes sense.

We was going to do something
to cheer Saffron up.

Freddie's just up
Saffron's arsehole.

I think doing it
on Courtney's birthday was a bit...

Nasty.
Mm.

Do you think?
BECKS: She's really upset, babe.

She's just come out
of a long-term relationship,

she's going through a lot
with her family at the minute,

and she just thought
it was a bit disrespectful

to do it on her actual birthday.

Saffron has been very upset and...
Yeah, which I'm gutted about.

I think the thing is with Saff,
like, she loves Courtney a lot.

She didn't think
it would get this far with Courtney

cos they have got a special bond
and they have spoken,

they've had a friendship.

She's actually more sad
about Courtney coming round...

And doing that.

I don't think there would have been
an NFI party

if we weren't all trying
to cheer Saffron up,

and I think that was
the main purpose of the party.

It wasn't,
"We're going to do a party

"to piss Amber
and everyone else off."

Right, when she looks back
in years' times

and she thinks about her 30th...
We didn't even know Courtney knew.

But it was all posted
all over social media, babes.

JODIE: And it's, like,
laughing on the fact that

you're not invited to her party.

It just, like... It's a bit...

But especially given the reason that
most people who wasn't invited,

youse wouldn't invite her either.

I hate to say it,
but, I mean, the NFI party,

it was me, Joe, Fred, and Ella.

And I think I can speak
on behalf of me, Fred, and Joe -

I don't think
we really care about Courtney.

# If you say I'm too much
Baby, go find less

# If you can't keep up
Stay below, I guess

# If I'm such a big deal
Maybe you're too little

# Ooh, ooh, it's tough
I'm too, too, too much for you. #

I feel like our snack range
is always on point.

ELMA: Immaculate.

You always sit there
and order the best snacks.

I am the snack queen.
I do take that.

Oh, a Cheesestring!
Oh, it's the best!

I actually saw Freddie.
Yeah?

I went to, um, goat yoga...

No!
..to cheer up Saffron.

It was actually quite funny,
to be fair. I wet myself a bit.

In my head, I was thinking,
goat yoga, like,

you would have, like,
little cute goaties.

No, it was the whole herd.

But, yeah, I seen Freddie,
and I just said to him, I was like,

"You threw an NFI party for people
that was never going to be invited."

And he was like, "It was meant
to just be to cheer up Saff,

"and obviously just became a thing."

I get what they were trying to do,
the being funny, whatever, but...

Completely.
..they just took it so, so far.

And, like, I try my hardest
with them to be like,

"Oh, but Freddie's a nice person."

Then he does that
and I'm just like, "Fuck you."

They don't think about
the repercussions

that something like that
will have on me.

Like, I was saying

I was really looking forward
to my birthday

because it's the one day a year
that the attention's on me

and it's not about anyone else
in my family.

And I think, as well,
people are forgetting, as well,

this time last year was
a very tough time for you. Yeah.

I was crying the whole time
when it was my birthday last year

and, like, it was a bit insensitive
for them to throw this NFI party.

I know, to them, it's funny,
jokes, laugh...

And it probably is to other people,

but to me, like,
I'm just very sensitive about it.

Obviously, I knew
it wasn't with malice with Freddie.

I knew he didn't mean it
maliciously, but, obviously,

it just looked like a bit of
a mug-off and a mockery, really.

So, did you actually know

that is meant to be a monster,
not a foot?

I always thought that was a foot.
Always a foot.

It's always been a foot.
PHONE CHIMES

Saffron's messaged me.
What has she said?

BOTH LAUGH

Bear with.

"Hey, Court.
Hope you had a nice birthday.

"It's my nan's year anniversary
this week

"and I'm having a get-together
to remember her.

"You was one of the first people
I spoke to

"when I lost my nan
and know you can relate.

"Hopefully see you there."
Aw, that's a nice message.

Cos I know, like... Regardless,
I know how close she was to her nan

and I know that
we went through that -

the exact same thing
at the exact same time.

Yeah, and you was each other's,
like, safety blanket,

cos you could relate to each other.

I feel like
that's what made us get closer.

She said that today, as well.

She said, like,
"We really bonded over that.

"That was where
the bonding come from."

Mm. I'll definitely be there.
Yeah, I knew you would.

Yeah, I think
that'll be really nice. Yeah.

# May your heart be open. #

# The only way is up! #

# Don't be loveless

# Let the sun in

# Open-hearted... #

Hold your baby.
ALL: Aw!

Oh!
Woohoo!

Yes, Elma!
Yeah!

Well done, Elma!
Whoo!

Let's go!

THEY CHEER

We've got our exam winner! Yay!

Right, a nice cold can of pop, Soph?
Yes, please, love.

It is all going on over here, Jord.

Hurry up, cos I need you.
I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming.

I've got a bit of news here.

Oh!

RING-PULL HISSES
It's a nice sound, that, innit?

That is a lovely sound.

# And don't you know
You can count on me?

# On me, on me

# On me, on me
On me, on me, on me... #

COURTNEY: Whoa!
It's a car Ferris wheel.

Have you been on
a Ferris wheel before?

HUDSON: Yeah.
Was it fun, or was you scared?

Fun.

CHLOE: Yeah, you talk to me?

Do you want to talk to Mummy?
What can you say?

Oh, am I boring you?
Shall we go see Mummy and Marley?

Shall we bring it to Mummy?
Come on, then.

Where's Hudson, hey?

I can hear him.

Oh, hello!

We've got all the people
on the Ferris wheel.

# And don't you know
You can count on me?

# Don't be loveless

# Let the sun in... #

KNOCK ON DOOR

LAUREN: Hello, babe.
Darling.

You all right?
Yeah.

Hey?
How are you?

Good. Just made you a tea.
Oh, nice!

Lovely service.
Yeah!

On the point!
Come through.

Thank you.

Can I just tell you,
I've got some really good news.

Go on. You're pregnant?

BOTH LAUGH

No, but workwise now,

obviously with everything
that's been going on... Mm.

..I've got a couple of free months,
before you say something.

So, wait, does that mean that
we can get cracking and get booking?

Tell me what you're thinking.
Right, OK. This is good.

We're on the same page.
Go on.

So, I've sent out some feels
to the clinic...

Yeah.

..and I've just been, like, throwing
some dates and stuff at them.

So, they basically said
we can't do the month...

the month that's coming up...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

..but we can do
a little bit later on...

Right.
..which isn't that far away.

No, but I think that's...

Like I said,
I'd rather get it all done

when all the staff are there.

If all my work stuff, pray to God,
is sorted by then, we're good to go.

Right, that date there?
Yeah.

Shall we do it?

Yeah. Yeah, it's exciting.
Is it happening?

Yeah! Go.
All right, all right.

Right, I'm going to...
Reply.

Right, OK.

Hi, Olympia.

Just to let you know, yes,
that date is absolutely fine

with me and Jordan.

We are really looking forward to it.

Can't wait for the next step
of this fertility journey.

So, yeah, thank you!

It's done. It's done!

Give me a kiss.
Wow. I love you.

I love you.
This is really exciting.

Why don't we have
a really positive day here?

We can tell everybody
what we've done.

Your mum's down here now.
Yeah.

Why don't we have
all the mums round here...

For a barbecue?
..for a barbecue?

Abso-fucking-lutely.
All our pals.

Yeah.
The mums.

Yeah.
I'll get Julie round with Amy.

Oh, that would be amazing.

Julie and my mum.
It would be insane.

Introduce your mum
to all the Essex mums.

God help her!
BOTH LAUGH

# I think today is the best day
Of my life

# Fuck thinking about the future
All the time

# If I'm alone
I'm alone and I don't mind... #

Arrgh!
BILLY LAUGHS

What's been going on?
I've not seen youse all in ages.

Yeah, cos we've been so busy.

THEY LAUGH
Right, tell me all about it, Polly.

THEY LAUGH

Tell me, what's been happening?

Is she like me?
She is your double!

"Because we've been so busy."
What's been happening?

Tell me.
So...

The swimming pool's done now.
Yeah.

I've been in the swimming pool.

She's been
in the swimming pool, Elma.

Do you love it? Yeah?

I think you will love it
when I have a sray-cation with you.

Staycation? Can't wait.
Honestly, it's been...

The house has been
a little bit stressful,

like, with the pool going in.

But we have been going out
on Monday date days,

which has been really nice now.
Oh, I love that!

We have. Our little Monday club,
where we try somewhere new.

We go somewhere different
that we've not been.

That's unreal!
That's so nice.

You didn't tell me this.
Yeah.

I love that!
Yeah.

But, yeah, no,
I was over at padel with the boys.

Obviously, Sammy was over there.
Oh, yeah. How is he?

He... I... Look,
I think he's doing all right.

I think he's pretty cut up, though,
I think, about youse two.

Mm. I think it sort of affected him
a little bit.

Obviously, I know
you've drawn a line under it

and you're still friends.

Which is good.
Yeah, it is good.

I thought that
we were on talking terms

where we could, like,
send each other messages and that,

and he didn't reply
to my last lot of messages.

And then,
when I spoke to Saffron briefly,

she was like, "Yeah,
he said that the boys have told him

"not to message you back
because it's unhealthy,

"cos obviously he still has
a lot of feelings there."

When you hear that,
I think, for you,

it's probably for the best
if you cut a bit of communication.

Yeah. Yeah, I do agree.
I think ev... Yeah.

Cos I can't really... I can't...

I can't make him be my friend
if he doesn't want to be my friend

and I can't push to keep
having conversations with him.

Don't get me wrong,
there's times that things happen

or I see something
and I want to send him a message.

Good doggie! Doggie, doggie, doggie!

Ah!
Oh! Careful!

Mind Elma, please.
Um, but...

Yeah. ..I just think
that's just part and parcel of it.

Time's a healer, innit?
The situation that youse were in...

For a relationship,
right at the start,

to spend 24 hours a day
with each other is so heightened.

Three weeks feels like three months,
I guess.

That's what I mean.

I suppose there's probably
a lot of feelings there

that generated quite quickly,
you know.

But, look, if it's friends,
it's friends, you know. Yeah.

And you've been straight, so...
For me...

Well, you can't tell anyone
how to feel.

Yeah. If you felt that way,
you felt that way.

Do you know what I mean? So...
Some people fall...

A lot harder.

Yeah, quicker.
Do you know what I mean?

Like Ame did for me, so, you know...

THEY LAUGH

I actually did, actually.

# And, oh, it's hard to see you

# But I wish you were right here

# Oh, it's hard to leave you

# When I get you everywhere... #

CHLOE: Make him jump.
Make Marley jump.

Now this one in there.

# Oh, no, I don't need you
But I miss you, come here... #

Erm, I just feel like
everything's been so hectic

since my birthday.

Go on. What's happened?

So, Chloe and Saffron
had a falling-out,

and she was obviously meant
to come to my party.

Obviously, I didn't want
any awkward vibes on my birthday.

I just thought maybe
it was the best... best decision

to say to Saffron,
"Just sit this one out."

Obviously it was really hard. I hate
doing stuff like that. Oh, God!

That lead to
this other group of people

who I'm not really
that friendly with

to throw a NFI party.

What's that?
A Not Frickin' Invited party.

Oh!
LAUGHS

Oh, sorry, Marley! I made you jump.

A Not Freakin' Invited party?
Yeah.

I've had such a hard year.

Yeah.
Like, a tough year.

And, like,
I put everyone before myself.

Like, I put my family before myself,
everyone,

and my birthday was
the one day a year

that's just about me.

And I was basically saying, like,
I get that people forget

what's going on
in other people's lives.

We're living in it every single day,

and, like, I just thought
it was really insensitive of them

to throw an NFI party
over my big 30th birthday weekend.

Yeah, it's out of order.

And people don't look at
the bigger picture.

They might not know
what you've been going through.

I don't know. Maybe they haven't,
and hopefully they feel bad.

Yeah.

HUDSON BABBLES

You're a good boy,
aren't you, Marley?

But you're just happy
to be with Mummy, aren't you?

Are you happy being with Mummy?

Yeah?

How is Marley?

He's all right. He's doing good.

We had a couple of incidents
last week

with, like, seizure control,
and it's just managing them

and knowing when they come,
and, you know, it's just...

Yeah, it's been hard.

And he loves all his therapies.

So, we do, like, hydro,
and he loves music therapy.

He does that once a week
at Haven House.

They've been amazing, haven't they?
Amazing. They've been so good.

Going to come and sit on my lap?

Yeah.

And you, you're honestly amazing,

how you're now a mum of three boys
and you handle everything.

I try to. I try.
I always say I look up to you.

You're my big sister,
but I do look up to you.

Thanks.

You're my best friend, my sister.
Aw!

Yeah, no, we're very lucky
we've got each other

and we're such a close family.

I know.

# Loving you now

# Do you think of me

# Even though I let you down?
Even though I let you down? #

What's been happening? A lot?
BOTH LAUGH

Every time we see each other,
we just know...

SAFFRON: What's happened, yeah.

It ain't been good.
What's going on?

I've got to get straight into it.
With what part?

I'll tell you a summary of my week.
Right, OK.

It ain't been very good.

Then I had to go to goat yoga
just to calm down.

Sorry?

I went to goat yoga yesterday.
What's that?

Yoga with the goats.

Goats can't do yoga.

No, but I can,
and they were just walking round me.

I know it's been a lot, though,
innit, lately? Yeah.

I have not been here.
I wasn't at the NFI... What was it?

I need to stay away from that energy
at the minute.

I've got a lot going on.
Yeah.

It's my nan's anniversary this week.
Yeah, I know. Yeah.

It's not worth it, is it?
No.

Like, you've got
your own trauma going on...

Mm. ..and grief,
which I can relate with.

It's never left my mind.

It's so raw. It's the first year.
No, you don't realise it.

You won't consciously be thinking
of it, but it changes you.

You've probably come across
a type of way...

Yeah.
..because it's this time of year.

It's so hard
and people deal with it...

I probably haven't managed
the fallout as I would have,

cos I've been crying all the time.

I know.
That ain't me.

The bond I had with my nan,
not many people do have that

with their grandparents.
No.

She was like a second mum to me.
Exactly.

How beautiful that you've had that.

But, obviously,
the goodbye was terrible.

Awful.

Knowing your grief, you have, like,
strong boundaries, and you change

and you don't tolerate stuff
cos life's too short.

Yeah.

It changes me, and I'm like,
"But I'm fine,"

but it comes out in other ways.

So, when's Lorena's...?
The eighth.

Next week.
Oh, yeah.

So, it's a similar time.
Yeah.

I think,
"What would she look like now?"

Yeah.
"What would she be doing?"

Larose and her would be like that,
and I feel that's the hardest part.

It's not like
I've had a life with her...

No. ..and lost,
and I've got the memories.

Yeah.
I have to imagine it.

You're doing it the other way.
"What was her eye colour?"

Yeah.
Cos I never saw her eyes.

When Lorena passed...
Mm.

..did you just come straight home
from that? No.

I don't want to go into it all,
cos it's quite a lot,

but, um... I stayed the night
at the hospital,

and we went to, like,
a hotel room...

Yeah.
..and we had Lorena.

They obviously...
They give you time with...

Yeah.
Yeah.

So, next morning,
I didn't know what was going on.

I had pictures done with her,
but I'm so grateful for that.

That was a charity thing.
Yeah.

At the time, I was like, "What?"
Yeah.

And then, um... passed her over.

Oh, my God.

And then you come home,
yeah, with no baby.

Yeah.

Weird. Numb. Horrible.

But it's hard, innit? You get it.

You understand that... that grief.
Yeah, course I do.

It's your first...
Yours is a different grief.

Different.
Different grief, but...

It's still a trauma.
It's... Yeah.

And it's still that pain
and that missing.

Well, listen,
at least we've found each other.

I know. Always.
Cos we've got a good friendship.

We have. Listen, for the short time
we've known each other,

we get each other.

I feel very comfortable with you.
Yeah, and we have a laugh.

I know. When I ask you things,
you're like, "Oh, I'm like that."

Yeah.
And I'm like, "Really?

"I've never met anyone
as mad as me."

We'll be sharing a room
on the next holiday.

I would love to!

We will. Joe and Junaid said
no-one would ever share with me.

No, I will.
BOTH LAUGH

# Just know I need you more. #

# The only way is up! #

# I want to go
Where the lights are low

# And you hold my bones
Like they're made of gold

# I want to know
When I'm far from home

# That you'll help me find my way

# Let's try love

# Let's try love... #

Oh, Saff!
Saffy!

SAFFRON: Hello!

Hi. I come bearing sunflowers.

ALL: Aw!

I love you!
Mwah!

FREDDIE: Ella Rae!
And some tarts.

JOE: That's so sweet. Oh!
They're unreal.

They look stunning.

Cos I was going to bake a cake,
but I cheated.

They look unreal.
No, they look stunning.

Oh, I'm so happy!

I love you.
I love you.

# Let's try love

# Let's try love

# Let's try love... #

I bet youse can't wait
for a sausage!

# And it didn't work

# So let's try love, let's try love
Let's try love... #

Are we doing it...?
Got a sausage in your hand.

Nothing unusual, is it?
SHE LAUGHS

# Let's try love
Let's try love... #

Hi!
Hello, Jodie.

How are you?
All good, thank you.

# So let's try love
Let's try love... #

Yeah!
Yeah!

Soph, keep still. Keep your head in.
JORDAN LAUGHS

Who's just moved?
Dan.

Daniel, get back in.
We need to get...

Daniel! Daniel!
Come in.

Cheers, everyone.
THEY CHEER

# I wrote this song about you... #

So, I just want to say thank you
for all coming today.

It's a year since my nan passed,
and, as you can see, she was glam.

So glam.
She brought the glam.

Well, obviously, I miss her.

But... I'm lucky
that I had such a bond.

Some people don't have that.
No.

I'm lucky I had such a bond
with someone

that was more than a nan, really.

And I know that in this situation
that's been going on,

she would've been there,

so it's been hard
because I would've gone to her

and she would've told me,
"Tell 'em to go elsewhere,"

cos that's where I've got it from!

That's the polite version!
Yeah, that was the polite version.

So, um, if we could just all
raise a toast...

Jen.
..to Nan.

Nanny Jen.
Nanny Jen.

Love you, Nan. Miss you.

She'll be so proud of you, Saff.

Oh, don't.
We love you, Saffy.

Love you, baby.
We love you.

You done well.
Love you so much.

She'd be so proud, as well.

ELLA: She would be so proud of you.
So proud.

# Now you know that I love you. #

It's been a lovely afternoon.
I know.

Yeah, it has.
Thank you so much for coming.

It's been lovely, innit?
We loved coming, Saff.

It's so nice
that we can celebrate your nan.

Yeah.

Obviously,
it's not a nice situation, but...

It's better than sitting indoors.
100%.

And what a beautiful day.
Yeah.

With everything that's been going on
in the last few weeks with you,

like, it's been so much.

Yeah.
This is like a nice...

It's bittersweet, isn't it?

It's remembering,
which is quite sad,

but also nice to, like,
move forward with you, as well.

Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.

And I think we've all been there,
going through it.

You are like your nan.
Yeah, everyone says that.

Oh, my God. 100%. 100%.
The pictures.

Glam!
It's funny, innit?

Very big Essex personality.
Yeah.

East End.

I love it.
THEY LAUGH

# You're the only one
Under the golden burning sun

# Surrender

# And I'll never let you down

# Surrender. #

HARRY: There you go, Mum.
Thanks, Harry.

Oh! You OK?
AMY: You all right, H?

All good. What a nice day.
Oh, how lovely is it?

I feel like this weather is, like,
the best summer we've ever had.

JULIE: It is.
Like, I can't remember the last time

it's been this hot in England.

How lovely, everyone here today.

All the mums here.
I love coming to this house, too.

You're lucky I'm here today,

because I should've been
on the flower stall.

I've got a new job.
You got a new job, Auntie?

Yeah!
Oh, lovely!

On the flower stall.
Oh!

I absolutely love it.

I've never seen someone have
so many jobs...

SHE LAUGHS
..so it's nice to see

that she's got something that
she's gone back to her roots doing.

She's got more jobs
than the Jobcentre, innit?

No, she has.
Well, I try.

I do try.
I've never met someone so busy.

I ring her up,
"What you doing today?"

"I've got the kids today.
Tomorrow, I'm on the flower stall."

Then she's going somewhere else.

Then she's cleaning.
Then she's cleaning.

But everyone thinks I'm really lazy
cos you clean for me.

Do they?
Yeah. I said it the other day.

Aw, that's terrible.
I said to all the girls,

I said,
"My mum comes and cleans for me."

They all went, "What?"
I went, "No, but..."

That's cos I live...
We live in the same block.

We live in the same block.

When Harry has a hot date one day
and you knock on the door, Auntie,

I think he might think,
"OK, my mum's at the door."

I never, ever go down when I know
he's got a date. I never interfere.

I've never had a hot date!
I'm just saying.

You need to start going on
a few dates, I think, personally.

How are you, though, Auntie?
I'm all good, yeah. I'm all good.

What's the update with the heart?
Yeah, just still chilling.

Your mum's working.
I'm just chilling.

But you feel all right?
Yeah. Yeah.

Doesn't she look amazing?
She does. Unbelievable.

You look amazing.

Your skin looks lovely.
You look so well, Mum. Yeah.

We're going to the Cotswolds
in the summer, aren't we?

Definitely.
Yeah.

And remember, now, Mum,
we have got the pool at mine.

It's like Marbella, your house, now.

Yeah, Mum came round the other day.
It looks like Marbella.

I've got all the day beds now.
THEY LAUGH

# I can do a lot with 15 minutes

# Piss some people off
Show 'em what they're missin'

# You, you, you know I can... #

JORDAN: Right, listen, everyone.
I've cooked the food.

SOPHIE: Come on, ladies. Tuck in.

JODIE: This looks
scrum-diddly-umptious.

HARRY: I feel like youse always do
the best barbecues. Good chips.

# Say somethin' batshit crazy
I'll do it... #

Someone has nicked some cake,
though. Uh...

It's definitely you.
It was.

Was it you?
Show me underneath your fingernails.

HE GASPS
It was me.

I just had to try it
to make sure it was nice for youse.

Aw!
No food poisoning.

Really nice.
Do you want some cake?

Shall we have a bit of cake?

Yeah.
Yeah, let's have some cake.

I think it's well deserved
after the day.

I know. What a lovely afternoon.
Days like today make me happy.

Just seeing you in Essex, Mam,

Sam here, it just...

Oh, there we go. Look at that.
Thank you, darling.

That's amazing.

Thank you.
It just makes us happy.

Yeah. It's so nice,
just all to be together. Yeah.

How are you finding it,
living down here now?

I...
You're actually...

Can we just appreciate this?
Yeah.

Not only have I made an Essex girl
out of my girlfriend,

I've now made one
out of my mother-in-law.

You didn't just get one.

You got the mother,
as well, didn't you?

Yeah.
Are you happier down here?

Yeah, I'm really happy
I'm down here.

And it's all just worked out,
hasn't it?

And it's just worked out.

And I've never seen you so happy
in my whole life.

I agree.

We've actually got some news
for youse two.

Right.
Don't worry, Soph's not pregnant.

No, no, I'm not.
No, no.

Don't do that!
I mean, that would've been unreal.

But we have booked
our fertility treatment.

Fantastic.
So, we're actually going.

Oh, my God.
It's booked?

It's finally booked.
So lovely.

We're going the first week
of September.

So, Soph's body, at the minute -
well, for two-and-a-half years now -

has got
such an overactive immune system...

Not towards everything.

Like, with being ill,

it's a completely different
immune system.

This is your immune system
towards getting pregnant

and your fertility, towards sperm.

So, my sperm goes in Soph's body,

Soph's body instantly thinks
it's a foreign body,

a foreign organism, so kills it.

It kills it
and rejects it straight away.

Normally,
a woman's body would accept it,

make an embryo,
put the coating round it and that.

So, now, basically,
what they have to do,

they're going to take my blood
and they're going to...

Are you going to be OK with that?

No, I'm not going to be OK.
I don't like needles.

But we're doing what's best for us.
It's white blood cells.

So, they take the white blood cells,
all the good white blood cells,

and then make a vaccine,
and at skin level...

They'll put it here.
..they administer it to Soph,

so Soph's body...
I think it's six injections,

and you get them really lightly
under the skin.

So, Soph, effectively,
becomes more of me,

so when the sperm enters her body,

her body recognises it,
doesn't kill it,

and makes the embryo
and makes it its own.

That is crazy.
It's crazy, isn't it?

Cos I was 12 weeks
when my body tried to reject you.

Sam, that is mental, then.
Mad, isn't it?

Yeah, so it's very, very similar,
but, I mean...

Do you know what his blood type is?
No.

He should know, though.
Yeah.

I don't... He doesn't like needles!
Yeah.

But you've got
to get used to that, love.

It's super rare.
I love that you can now go

and explore all that
and get all that done.

It feels like a weight
off the shoulders.

Yeah.
It gives you hope.

We've got to call the doctor
next week.

I think we should have a cheers
to her doctor.

Yeah.
Yeah. Whoo!

Cheers to the doctor.
Wait, wait.

I think we should cheers
to Baby Brook.

Cheers to Baby Brook.

# Here's to you
But mostly cheers to me. #

# The only way is up! #

# Ooh, Mr Electric Blue... #

Oh, no!
DOG BARKS, SHE LAUGHS

# I want to dance like you... #

Nothing's better than

slagging your partner off
to his mam.

I mean, if anyone knows
what James is like, I do.

You know what is wrong with him?
If you tell him something,

he cries like a little baby.

Right, so he cries at anything?

Well, say if we're having
a little bit of a disagreement,

he will sob about it.

For God's sake!
He really feels sorry for himself.

We need to get to know each other,
because how will we sort James out

if we don't know each other?
I know.

We can tag-team now.
Yeah.

Cos he doesn't listen to me,
and I know he'll listen to you,

and if he's got both of us,
get him in a...

Cos it takes more than one of us
to deal with James.

Oh, I know.
LAUGHS

# He's a man's man
A good, hard-working American

# But he ain't the guy
You'd wanna fight... #

SAFFRON: Jellied eel.

I've never tried one.
Right, try one right now.

No, stop it!
Right, how do you eat this?

Right, so you get it like that...
Yeah.

Oh, my... Eurgh! How do you...?

Go on.
Eurgh! What did you eat?!

So, right, that's the bone,
so hold it there.

Don't eat the bone, so eat this bit?

Yeah.
Eurgh!

The thought of it in my mouth
makes me feel...

Go on.
Eurgh!

Bite.
Oh, it's making me gag.

JUNAID GAGS

JOE GAGS
Stop.

JUNAID LAUGHS, JOE COUGHS
You're making me gag, Jun. Stop.

Bad, innit?

You're having more!?
THEY LAUGH

SAFFRON FEIGNS GAGGING

Oh!
You like it!

I do.
What?!

You're making me gag.
SAFFRON LAUGHS

Junaid, the way
you're eating that...

No!

You like it?!
You like it?!

Mmm!
Bit of vinegar on it.

Ooh, that's actually not bad, guys.
Really?

Sorry I was late. How we doing?

Good.
Yeah, we're good.

We've had a long convo about you.

About me? Good stuff.
Yeah.

We've been catching up and...
Yeah.

We're going to have
to get Jodie involved

in the family...
Yeah.

..cos we don't know her.
It's not fair.

People ask me,
"What's James's girlfriend like?"

and I have to say, "I don't know."

She's pretty cool.
I am.

Yeah.
THEY LAUGH

You'd better be!
My mum's cool, too.

Yeah, you'd better be cool
cos you're with my son,

so I'd like to think that

we could get to all know each other
a little bit better.

Otherwise, it's not going to work.
Mum, I know. I know, I know.

And also, I don't know Bear.
I don't know nothing about him.

He's four years old, about yay high.

Yeah. And...?
He's lovely. He's...

No, he's more than that, though.
I'm joking, obviously.

I've got a present for Bear
that I had over two years ago,

which was a dinosaur
with an Easter egg.

Unfortunately,
I've eaten the Easter egg,

so he's now only got the dinosaur,

which I have named Denzel,
by the way.

He will absolutely love that.

JORDAN: James...
If you...

..as you was late...
Thank you very much.

..saved you two of the finest.
I haven't eaten today.

You've just saved him, Jordan.

I'll sort us out something nice
next week.

Yeah.
Try and get your mum to come.

Yeah, that'd be nice.
Cos I haven't even met Jodie's mum!

I know.
We need to just become a big family.

When you think about it,
put it down on paper,

we've been together almost,
what, 2.5 years?

Yeah.
Longer.

I feel like we have the family
going on between us,

but we need
to get everybody else involved.

We need to branch out.
Yeah.

And then I'll be much happier
when I get to know Jodie better,

because then I know,

when you're being a pain
in the backside,

I know where Jodie's coming from.

No, this is why I was nervous
to come here today.

I was thinking, "Oh, my God.
We hardly know each other."

Yeah. I know you had to deal
with him when he was really sad,

and you only knew
one side of everything.

Not that any of us
were in the wrong, but...

No, no.

..we both dealt with things that...

Shut up!

THEY LAUGH

We both dealt with it differently.
I did nothing wrong, Mum.

I would never. Know what I mean?
James, come on.

It was all her.
I couldn't believe it.

Well, I'm glad that
you're both happy.

That's the main thing.
We're good. We're really good.

And where do you think
this is going to go?

At the moment,
I'm in a situation with Dan

and having a really good time
living with Dan,

now that we're in there.
OK.

And then the future will be that
we live with each other.

Jodie's possibly going
to maybe come off contraception

after Christmas.

OK.

And then, yeah... And go from there.

So, that's some big moves,
so you have to make sure

that you really are settled,
the two of you,

and that all that nonsense
that went on before

isn't going to happen again.

That's why I've waited this long,
cos I wasn't sure at first.

I told you that, didn't I?

You can't go straight back into it
and think everything will be...

No, of course.

Also, there's Bear to think about,

so you've got
to make absolutely sure...

But you and Bear's relationship is,
like, perfect now, isn't it?

Yeah, Bear loves me.

He does. He loves him so much.
Yeah.

I don't hear anything
about a wedding here.

Right? So, we're just jumping
straight ahead to the second child?

Well, I would love a ring...

Jord?!
..before a pregnancy.

That'd be a good idea.

That'd be a great idea.
Someone's calling my name.

I think someone's calling my name.
I can hear it in the wind.

Hello, people.
Hello.

Hello, Daniel!
Hello. Nice to see you guys.

Wendy.
All right, James?

Mwah! How we doing? You good?
Good to see you.

Hello!
Hi, darling. Mwah!

So, how's it going in the flat
with you two?

Perfect.
DAN: It is going well.

It is going well?
Yeah.

WENDY: I don't know. The other week,

we had a conversation about
you weren't quite so tidy as Dan is.

No, I...
No, he's getting better.

His levels of tidiness
are mental, mate.

It's like being in
a doctor's surgery.

OK.
THEY LAUGH

He did say the other day...

Cos I speak to both the boys
pretty much every day,

and he did say,
"I'm on my way home, Mum.

"I did tidy up,
but Dan's coming home today,

"so I'm actually going back
to tidy up again."

THEY LAUGH
True.

Where are you with girlfriend thing?
Come on, spill the beans.

I'm... I'm single.

Aw! I liked Ella.

That girl could cook.
She's beautiful.

Yeah. We tried a few times.

It just wasn't working.
Aw!

It's probably the toughest thing
I've walked away from,

because it's not like
we've fallen out.

You can't carry on
just flitting in and out.

No, I can't. I need to...
I want to settle down.

I want to find that person,
of course.

I think also with Dan -
the same with James, really -

is that they've both come from
what they call a "broken home".

I'm guessing - I don't know -
that from Dan's point of view,

he wants to get it right.
Yeah.

From my experience,
marriage doesn't...

more often than not,
doesn't work out.

Well, that's a bit sad,
cos you have to go for it,

you have to believe in it.

Yeah, of course.
And marriage is a really good thing.

If you feel that way about someone,
it should be something that happens.

But there's always a chance
that it won't work.

Don't be put off by that.

Don't let that ruin
what you're looking for,

cos that's wrong.
Mm.

Have faith in it,

cos I don't think
you think you're worth it,

and you are.

# Ooh-ooh-ooh

# Oh, oh-oh-oh
I feel like gold

# Electric love is running
From my head to my toes

# Addicted to this feeling
And I... #

Fred, how are you feeling
with Courtney here?

Do you know what?
I don't actually feel awkward.

I'm going to be honest with you,
I don't.

Like, obviously,
when we was at goats the other day,

Dani and Elma did say

that she was really upset
that I organised the NFI party.

Well, I'm just going to say,
I'm really sorry.

I've thrown you right under the bus.
Oh, no!

Because we went out
for drinks the other night.

Livvy and Becks were there,
and they was like,

"Youse are so wrong for doing
that NFI party, you planning it,"

and I was like,
"It was all Freddie."

LAUGHS: "I didn't do anything!"

It was your idea! I executed it!
That's so bad, Junaid.

Hello.
Hello.

You OK?
Thanks for coming.

I wouldn't miss this.
How are you?

I'm OK. How are you?
How's today been?

Oh, it's been lovely.

It's been nice to just mark it,
but it's been a lot.

Yeah, I feel like
it's been a lot for everyone

the past couple of weeks.
It has.

It's like... I feel like
it's time to turn a new page.

Like, it's...
That page ain't turning!

Is it not?
No. Oh, I don't know.

What's your feelings
towards Chloe now?

Um...

Do you know what, Court?

I don't really know,

because I've not spoke to her
for so long,

and there's been so much input.

Like, obviously,
you turning up at mine

and not wanting me there
cos of the atmosphere, I thought,

"Is Chloe feeling that way
and in your ear?" So, I did...

I don't know if she wants this
to carry on, do you get what I mean?

Chloe didn't say anything to me.

I just know
she would have felt uncomfortable

because she hasn't spoken to you
since it all happened,

and the last time
you saw each other,

you were shouting.

I just don't know
how we navigate it forward.

But I would really like you
to have a conversation with Chloe.

I know she's ready to speak to you,

and I'd love it
if you girls sorted something out.

Mm, yeah.

I feel like
when you two have a conversation,

I think it'll be settled this time.

Listen, I value your friendship,
I value Chloe's friendship,

I love Chloe,
but this has got ridiculous.

Yeah, 100%. I feel like I've been...

I've not come to your 30th,
and I... I love you.

You were there for me,

hence why I've asked you
to come today.

And I know you didn't have
a great time, Elma was saying,

at the 30th.
Yeah, it was awful.

I felt shit
about the situation with you.

Like, I felt, like,
not in a good place.

How are you feeling, then?
Like, I was really upset.

How are you feeling
in general, though?

I just feel confused in my life.
Mm.

Like, I think last year
was such a bad year for me.

Obviously, my grandma passed away,
found out about Marley's diagnosis,

and then it was my birthday,
and I just cried my whole birthday.

Did you?
I just didn't enjoy it at all.

No, so you wanted this to be better.
I didn't enjoy that year,

and I was thinking,
"It's a new year, a fresh start."

That's the problem.

You've probably had
such an hard year

that you've expected it to be
the day happens and it's all great

and everything disappears,
but that's not reality.

I had such high expectations
of my 30s,

and then it's happened
and I feel like I haven't even...

I don't even want to cry,
cos it's about you today, isn't it?

No, it ain't. No, no.

Court, the thing about me and you
is that, away from everyone,

we can talk from the heart
and you listen to me.

And sometimes you don't want to keep
telling the closest people to you,

cos Chloe and Amber and Harry
have probably heard it a lot.

And then you're thinking,

"Their lives are moving on a bit,
and what am I doing?"

I just feel like
there's so much pressure turning 30,

and I don't know why.
There is.

Why is there?
We follow a timeline, don't we,

that we're meant to follow?

So, in our heads, we think,
by 30, you're meant to be settled,

children come and all that,
and it does spin your head, Court.

Yeah.

And all I was looking forward to
is having my birthday

and being around people
that are close to me,

and then to have it overshadowed
by this NFI party...

I think with the NFI party,

I think the boys thought
it'd be a good idea

to... to lift me up.

It weren't like they were going,

"Eff Courtney.
This is another party.

"We don't care..."
That weren't the vibe.

That's what it came across, because
why would they have been invited?

I don't talk to any of them.
I know, but they knew that. Yeah.

And I understand that
they want to take you out,

but I just think it was a bit much,

and I am very sensitive
at the moment.

But I don't want to see you upset,
cos I can see it in you.

I know, but it's been like this
for the past week, since...

Come.

I just hope you, Chloe, and Harry
can come to some sort of...

Yeah. It will, over time.

I'm sure it will.
Yeah.

Hello.
You all right, Fred?

You OK?

Obviously, well, I think Junaid said
about the NFI to you, didn't he?

The party?
Yeah.

Um...
It's upset Courtney.

No, I... No, I spoke to Elma
and Dani about it,

and they said you was upset with it.

And obviously I just want you
to know that there was no malice

towards you at all in the slightest.

It was just
me being a good friend to Saffron,

cos obviously
the whole situation was shit.

Yeah.
And I wanted to cheer Saffron up,

so I made a party for everyone else
that wasn't going.

At the end of the day, for me,
why I was so upset is because,

even though you'd fallen out
with my friends and with Harry,

I still was sat there being like,
"But Freddie's really nice.

"I have really nice conversations
with him.

"I just don't think this is him.

"I feel like
he's acting on other feelings."

And I just feel...

Like, I just don't know where
I really stand with you after that,

because I get
you're not going to understand

what I've been through
for the past year,

and then the last thing I needed
was the whole NFI thing,

like, laughing and joking.

No-one's laughing at you.
No-one's laughing at...

OK, laughing and joking
at the situation,

which I really struggled with.

That wasn't nice for me at all.

I just think, like,

I actually respected you
and had good conversations with you,

and I just want you
to see it from my side,

like, what I saw it as.

Yeah, listen, I actually done this
to cheer up my friend,

and if it did offend you
that I threw a party

and done my own thing on the day,
on your 30th, I am truly sorry.

But, listen,
it's been a long, long few weeks,

and I think we've just got
to move on from it...

Mm.
..all.

Yeah. And, again,
I am sorry if I did upset you.

That wasn't ever my intention
at all.

# Let's hear it
For the man of the year. #

I'm throwing a tea party.
Who's going?

Everybody.
What could possibly go wrong?!

Are you seeing a ring
coming up soon?

I bloody hope so!

How many animals
do you want to see today, Bear?

Elephants!
JODIE LAUGHS

Dan, Diags, and Jodie,
they were, like, double-dating.

You've just dropped a bomb there
without even realising.

We split up three months ago.
What do you expect me to do?

I left him cos I wanted
to feel something... Yeah.

..like, a bit of want from him,
and I never had that,

and now you're wanting
someone else?!

# The only way is up

# Baby

# For you and me now

# The only way is up

# Baby

# For you and me now. #

Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com