Original subtitles

an enhanced bum, and some home truths from Joan Collins.

The tans you see might be fake, but the people are all real,

although some of what they do

has been set up purely for your entertainment.

Previously on The Only Way Is Essex.

[whistling]

- We weren't right together, Arch.

It hurts, but I cannot be with you.

- I love you and I've always cared for you,

and all you do is throw it in my face.

- I'm sorry, but it doesn't look

like I'm gonna make the party.

That's a bit disappointing, isn't it?

Oh my God.

[group cheering]

Meet Charlie.

- I'll say one thing. - What?

- He's not gay.

[doorbell ringing]

- Oh my God, James.

- Happy Birthday, Debbie.

- I can't believe it.

Look at ya, you're half the size the man I last saw.

- I've worked hard, didn't I?

- How much weight have you lost, James?

They for me?

Oh, thank you. - Happy Birthday.

I've done a bit, you know?

- About three stone?

- I've worked hard, so I'm feeling good about myself.

- [laughing] Your teeth look absolutely fantastic.

- Cheers, Debbie.

- I'm really, really proud of you.

I'm so proud of you.

You've done really well, and thank you for my flowers.

- I was just passing by to wish you a happy birthday

and let you know I'm still thinking of you.

I'm off to meet the boys now,

but we'll catch up properly soon.

All right, cool.

- See you later darling.

You take care.

See you, James. - Bye.

- You're looking good, ooh.

- Oh my God, we got so much to do before tonight.

- Oh, I'm so nervous.

Listen, have you heard what she's done, Luc?

- Lucy, listen to what we've done.

- She has put me up as part of the auction

for people to bid a day with me.

- [Lucy] Shut up.

- [Billi] Who would you like to actually win it, then?

Who would be your best and who would be your worst?

- I reckon my worst would probably be Ricky,

because I've done that date thing and that didn't work out,

and I don't know who I'd want my best to be.

- I bet right now we had dates.

- You've got to be kidding.

- How are you, are you all right now?

- Yeah, we're good, I cuddle the dog more.

I'm joking.

I don't know what's wrong with him.

He's going bald and he's got dandruff.

- They're basically like bald brothers.

Oh my God, this weather.

Come on, it's gonna really rain.

- Ralph, we need to put your hood up, mate.

- [Billi] Put his hood up, oh Ralphie,

Oh, he's the cutest.

- [Gemma] Thanks for breakfast, babe.

- That was lovely, wasn't it?

- Yeah, do you know what though?

I think we've got to sort your car situation out,

'cause I know you've wanted to get a new car,

but this is like a hairdresser's car.

And you've been hanging out with Bobby a bit too much lately

and people might start getting the wrong idea.

I think you need to show your more manly side.

Would you like my input with it?

'Cause at the end of the day,

I'm the original sales car girl from Essex.

If I was selling you a car, I'd see you coming.

- Let's do it, because I reckon if I walk in there,

- They're gonna pull your trousers down.

- They are. - [Gemma] Yeah.

- I think something like a black Porche.

It's sexy, it's quite small.

- Small and sexy.

I hope that isn't indicating

that your man parts are small, Charlie.

- Not at all.

- Have you measured it with a ruler?

- I have, actually, yeah.

I think every boy does.

- Really? - Yeah, absolutely.

- [Gemma] Are you gonna have a cup of tea with my mom?

- I've actually got to get going,

but we're on for later on, right?

- Where are we going?

- It's a surprise.

- I love surprises.

- Give us a kiss.

- See you later.

- What's he gonna look like,

cause I ain't seen him in a couple of weeks.

- He bowls in wearing like a tracksuit,

his man bag, his glasses.

[both snickering]

- How much has he lost, a couple of stone?

- Two stone?

He was eight stone when he was sixteen and a half.

- [Diags] I'm glad he is coming down.

- What's happening, boys?

- [Diags] What are you wearing?

- What do you mean, what am I wearing?

- Why you got glasses on?

- It's raining mate, you do realise there's no sun?

- I'm not wearing it to get the sun out of my eyes.

I'm wearing it for fashion.

- You've actually just sat down.

- What?

- Thought you were gonna stand there,

do a little speech, go and do one of them ones.

- Well, I was gonna do a little oh, oh.

- What's been happening, what you been doing?

- I've been training for the marathon, haven't I?

Can you notice a difference?

- Yeah, you look slimmer.

You look slick, you look reem.

- Notice the bit of change in haircut.

- Eyebrows. - Eyebrows.

- The teeth, fuck.

- What do you mean, fuck?

Fuck as in good fuck, or bad fuck?

- Well, obviously good fuck, it's much better.

- Is this gonna be you the whole time now,

or are you gonna go back to that?

- Well yeah, I hope so.

- What do you mean, go back to that?

- You been doing for Lydia, or or not, or what?

- Nah, for who?

I'm joking, I've been doing it for myself, mate.

Eyebrows, eyelashes tinted, teeth.

- What these are a joke, aren't they?

- No, they're real, they cost me a fortune.

You should see my Cartier ones that I'm wearing tonight.

- What's going on tonight?

- We're going to the, it's like a pre-marathon party.

- Oh yeah, it's tonight, isn't it?

Of course it is.

- A marathon party.

- That's tonight, mate.

- It's like a pre-marathon benefit party.

- Sweet. - Sweet.

- Sweet.

- It'll make my ass look fatter, won't it,

'cause of the shape.

- It shapes it in.

- You've lost your bum.

- How do you know I've lost my bum?

- Because you've gone like, skinny.

- Padded panties, that's unbelievable.

[doorbell ringing]

- [Lydia] I'll get it, mom.

- Oh thanks, Lyd.

Oh, I've had such a lovely day.

- Where is she?

Auntie Debs?

- Hello darling.

- Happy Birthday!

You okay?

Here you go.

- Thank you, thank you, darling.

That is lovely, thank you.

- Have you had a nice morning?

- I've had such a lovely morning.

I've gotten thoroughly spoiled by my Lydia.

- So who's been around today?

- Everybody, I've had such a lovely birthday.

- You're so popular, that's why.

- [Lydia] Very spoiled, aren't you, mom?

- While you was in the bath Lyd, even James popped 'round.

- I had a feeling he would, anyway.

- I just didn't recognise him.

- [Lauren] He's been to boot camp, he's been dieting

and he's lovesick.

He wants Lydia back.

- Anyway, we're gonna go upstairs.

- Have a lovely day, all right?

I'll see you soon, have a good day.

- We're gonna go upstairs, see you in a bit.

- Bye, darling. - Bye.

- That was a little bit awkward.

Have you seen her since?

- No, that's the first I've seen her since it happened,

since her and Jessica had that bit of to-do.

It's just really awkward,

because Jessica's really, really adamant

about she never wants to go there again and it's over,

and I just believe in time she will get over it

and she will learn to forgive,

'cause everybody forgives at the end of the day.

- I thought I'd say let's go upstairs,

'cause I didn't want it to be awkward.

- A bit of a shock, I wasn't expecting them to be here.

I didn't know where to look kind of thing,

and just sad, isn't it really,

'cause I've known them for how long,

and it's like now I feel like I don't know them,

and it is hard.

- You've just got to think when you break up with someone

everyone kind of expects you to be strong and everything

and you put on this front that you're strong,

when really you just need people quite around you.

- Definitely, I'm not as confident

as what people think I am.

I'm unhappy about my weight,

I'm feeling panicky all the time.

When I did have that panic attack

and I rung the ambulance and I felt like I was gonna die,

and I was like, what is wrong with my body?

I was in bed and I didn't know what was happening.

I couldn't breathe, my whole body was trembling.

- There's only so many times people can put you down

about your weight and things like that

before it starts getting to you.

- On holiday, I may have the best holiday ever,

and as soon as I see a picture,

I'm just like oh my God, is that what I look like?

I hate my legs, so if my legs are out,

I feel like my stomach's not as bad,

but it's my legs I don't like,

and that's my newest thing on the show.

- People's sizes change all the time.

It's nothing to get upset over.

- Again, I'm doing something about it.

I'm doing this healthy diet.

- How much do you actually want to lose?

- Two stone.

- Two stone, how much do you weigh now, then?

- I think about 11 stone.

I want to be about nine.

- It's gonna be hard work.

- Yeah, it will be hard work.

I'm not drinking now, even if we go to events,

I'm not drinking, I have water.

I will do it.

- I love you. - Thank you.

- I'm gonna go with this one, it looked really nice.

I tried loads on and this is my favourite.

It looked really nice on me.

- It's lovely colours as well.

- [Jessica] Yeah its really nice, this one.

- Did you see Lauren's holiday pictures?

- Yeah.

- Lauren's not fat, but I think what her problem is,

she always wears things that don't fit her.

- If she's comfortable wearing clothes

that might be smaller than what she is,

then it's up to her, I suppose.

- I would wear like a long caftan.

- To be honest, I just hate the atmosphere

and where she's sort of clubbed together with Frankie

and Cara being out.

I can't stand the playground bitchiness,

and that's how it feels right now when I walk in a room.

It's like, come on girls, grow up.

- To be so awkward as well, and at the party,

'cause a few weeks ago I snogged Joey.

I'm not joking.

We were drunk out, and come on,

everyone's done it with an ex.

We had a little silly snog in the corridor by the lift,

embarrassing, but it happened,

and then he's got his new flat in Alaska,

and oh, you can make me dinner, you can make me steak.

Frankie's like, apparently I'm only interested

because Joey's got a swimming pool in his flat.

- It just sounds so ridiculous.

- I'm not being funny, but if you wanted to go swimming,

you can go down to the Brentwood Centre.

So you and Ricky then, how's it been left off?

- He does make me laugh, but I've sort of met someone else.

- Oh, who have you met?

- I'm not telling you.

- Why? - Tell us.

- I met someone, he's really nice.

It's early days, I'm just gonna see what happens.

- Let the fun begin.

[group laughing]

[upbeat music]

- You all right, mom?

- Alright Gem, how are you?

- I'm all right. - Did you stir it?

- [Gemma] Yeah. - Oh, thank you.

- You're so bossy, mom.

What are you doing?

- Just putting my plants up.

I want to get them in.

- Enough planting, mom.

- Did you see my plants in the hospital corner?

- Yeah, they're getting on.

- Well that's really hospice corner.

- Hospice? - Yeah because they're slowly,

- Dying. - Going.

Yeah, so how you getting on with Charlie, then?

- I don't really know.

Sometimes his eyebrows shake when I talk to him

and I think I'm making him nervous.

- Yeah, well you're too loud, aren't you?

- Do you think that's the problem, then?

- Well, you are mega loud.

I mean, you do my ear drums in sometimes.

- But six weeks into a relationship,

he's not gone to me, oh, come here baby,

jiggy jiggy, do you know what I mean?

Nothing has gone on.

When he hasn't like, not being sick or nothing,

like touched me there or you know, insinuate anything.

I mean, probably back in your day,

you waited months before you got it on,

do you know what I mean?

- Well, you start off the interaction.

- No. - Well, don't moan then.

Give him time.

- It's just the passion that's lacking.

I don't want to live my life like a freaking nun.

- Well, he might have something wrong with him down below.

You know, like, whatever.

Just like, ask him.

- You're a good judge of character.

When I've bought my boyfriends back,

if you didn't like them, you'd go round the house

burning the incense in every room to get the vibe out.

- Yeah, well if I felt really funny,

I would burn incense in every room.

- And he's so different from what I'd normally go out with.

You know how I go out with the proper fellas, the geezers,

but none of them have ever really worked out,

so I've gone for someone totally opposite.

- Yeah, I think he's the sweetest boy you've ever met.

- Do you think?

- I think he's so lovely.

- Well, Charlie's got something planned for me tonight.

I don't know what it is.

I'm gonna get dressed up,

and do you think that I should put it on him?

Shall I kiss him?

- Just be calm, quiet.

Just totally be yourself.

- Basically, tonight's the night with Charlie,

see what happens.

[dance music]

- I need to sweat all this poison out.

- Good night though, wasn't it?

Me and Rick were like bachelors of Brentwood.

- You must be a little bit jealous of us out, you know?

- I'm not used to it.

I'm only jealous of the fact about pulling girls in a day.

He doesn't pull shit.

He's like me when I was single.

- People don't like it when you're single.

They just think oh, you can't talk

to more than one girl at once, that's the bad thing.

That's what I mean.

- All the stuff you're doing now, I've done.

- Aren't you still texting that Jess?

- Me and Jess are still texting and that.

- I'm quite impressed with this.

Obviously since it's you I think he should have a helmet.

He's the helmet now.

Every group's gotta have one person they banner.

Joey and Arg banner Diags.

- Everyone would banner Diags.

- You don't like Diags?

- We're like the smooth group compared to them.

- Now we've established that we've got

a trio bromance going on, we need a name.

I was thinking Two and a Half Men?

- Mate, that's harsh, that's proper harsh.

[group laughing]

Mate, what has happened here?

[upbeat music]

- Bobby, it is amazing.

- Ain't it really deceiving how big it actually is though?

- It's so deceiving, I love it.

- I just want to get in now, and get up and running with it.

- I bet, have you thought colour schemes, is this them?

- This is all it.

We got zebra, which is for our client waiting area.

- Is it gonna be zebra couches?

- Zebra couches and a couple of individual chairs

for our clients to wait on.

- Which are gonna be zebra as well?

- Which are gonna be zebra.

That's gonna be in its own little zebra area.

- Keep the zebras together.

- This is it, 'cause I kind of felt leopard's had its day.

- Yeah, what we calling it?

- L-H-A-A.

- Lahaha? - LHAA for short.

- Anyway, you looking forward to tonight?

- Im really looking forward to tonight.

How do you feel about it all?

- I'm a little bit apprehensive, not gonna lie, Bob.

- 'Cause you've not seen James yet, have you?

- It's been like six weeks.

- Are you kind of thinking to yourself, deep down,

like what emotions are gonna surface to the top

when you see him?

'Cause obviously he's lost a lot of weight, hasn't he?

- I know, I just don't want to have a glimpse

of my old life and see him and stuff,

'cause I feel like I might get a bit like,

start thinking about things and overanalyze, Bob.

If I think James is seeing someone else,

I'll overanalyze it and I'll think, oh my God,

what if he gets someone pregnant

and he's got a wife and kids by next year?

- No way. - Why do I think that?

- I know what you mean babe, like Charlie and Gemma

have both been confiding in me at the moment.

- What's the goss?

- Well, its not so much goss,

but I obviously speak to Gemma all the time on the phone,

and I'm always in touch with Charlie.

- So what are they confiding in you, what kind of stuff?

- He's not giving her cuddles, kisses or anything.

I don't think there's much going on in that department.

[both laughing]

- But do you think that the reason

that he's not showing her a lot of affection

is because he's a bit confused by his sexuality?

- She just wants a man to go in there

and rip her tights off with his teeth.

[both laughing]

[dance music]

- [Joey] Mate, how good is it gonna be,

me and you living here together?

- Mate, it's gonna be so sweet.

- I've lived here for like a month by myself now.

It's just well lonely, man.

- Yeah I know mate, you must have been so depressed

sitting here on your own.

- I have, I'm always ordering take-aways by myself.

Rule one, basically when you come in the house,

take your shoes off.

- Fair, I can do that, that's fine.

- Obviously, we got cream carpet, so don't do that.

And then you got rule two, don't make it messy.

People like Diags and James,

there'd be wee on the toilet seat,

they leave the poo in the toilet.

Mate, its ridiculous.

Flush the chain, you do that, it's natural.

Biggie, yeah?

- What are you actually gonna do?

Say if I do break a rule, what's gonna happen,

what's my punishment?

- There's no punishment.

The thing is, the punishment is the girls come back,

they get cringed out and go home.

- Go out, we'll pull some birds hopefully,

bring them back here.

- Dance with them, get with them, do bits.

Wake up in the morning in our pants.

- Get them out. - Get them out,

play PlayStation all day.

- Depends on the PlayStation day.

- I'm saying that we gotta try to keep this really clean,

'cause we keep it clean, mate, the girls are gonna be clean.

[both laughing]

- That was the last day, so we had to leave the pool party.

- Oh, no.

- This party, we didn't have a clue what it was.

Turn up, so many celebrities,

and I'm talking like A-list, Hollywood celebrities.

- Like who?

- Arnold Schwarzenegger, Katherine Jenkins, J.Lo.

We just missed J.Lo though, just missed her.

- Oh my god, you could have proper compared asses.

- Oh, yeah. - I know.

- Yeah, but mines nothing on J.Lo's.

- Still good, though.

- I didn't have the implants in the end.

I had body sculpting.

So they basically took fat from there and there

and they put it in the top bit there,

so you know how before my ass was like a granny,

it was like flat and droopy.

Now it goes out there.

Practically not even surgery, is it?

I had a procedure, but I haven't got

anything plastic in my bum.

I got my own fat, just moved it.

- That's so good.

- Can you see the difference?

- You've definitely got more bum cheek there.

- I'll show you.

I've still got my stitches in, obviously.

- Oh yeah, oh, it looks nice.

- [Chloe] I would like it a little bit bigger.

- If you went a little bit bigger,

all you'd have to do is put weight on

and get it taken out again, put it back in your bum.

- [Chloe] That's not really a healthy option, isn't it,

putting weight on to have it sucked out?

- Your bum is so gorgeous.

- Isn't it, look how wobbly it is.

- We're just getting to know one another.

- I'm not fresh, deep down I think

I'm really a sensitive person.

- We're on his little journey together at the moment,

and we're having a good time,

and we're just gonna see where it goes.

- You said to me that you couldn't come into my mom's house

because you was planning a date for me.

Well, you've got me round your house yet again,

and you said there was gonna be a surprise.

- The surprise is,

I want you to get naked for me.

- Shut up.

What the fuck are you going on about?

What the fuck are you talking about?

No way, I'm not comfortable with that.

- Let me explain.

It's the 100 year anniversary of Titanic sinking.

One of my most favourite scenes in that film

is where Jack draws Rose.

I've always wanted to recreate it,

but I've been waiting for that special person to do it with.

- Did Kate Winslet get naked in the film?

- Yes, she did.

- Charlie, that is sick.

I'm not doing that.

That is just, I'm sorry,

the most weirdest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Why do you want me to get naked?

- Well, look.

- And draw a picture of me?

You normally say get naked and let's go to bed, babe.

- To cover your modesty,

and I'd like to do it as a gift to you,

something that is totally unique from me to you.

- No, Charlie, no, piss off.

- Really?

I've got my sketch book upstairs and my pencils ready.

I can go and get them, let's just go for it.

This is a nice thing to do, no?

- [laughs] I don't know.

- Shall I go and get my stuff? - Yeah.

[dance music]

- Hi, how are you?

- Lyds, stunning, love it, you look lovely.

- Pretty exposed.

- See, Arg won't know what's hit him when he walks in.

He'll be like, she's naked.

- I feel like it's a bit too much, really,

like he's trying to make an entrance

and I walk in with my ass on show.

[dance music]

[group cheering]

- Hi everyone, thank you for coming

to our marathon benefit party.

[group cheering]

As you know, we're running the London Marathon next week,

so please dig deep, it's for a great cause.

[soft music]

- I feel like one of them pigs in blankets

that you eat at Christmas.

- Can I just say you look beautiful?

- [Gemma] Shut up. - No, you do.

You look amazing.

You look like a trifle.

- A trifle?

And then on the Titanic, didn't he get the earring in,

the girl with the pearl necklace or something?

- It was the heart of the ocean.

Can you shush now, yeah?

Right, let's take it in.

Gem, I need you to sit still.

- What do you want, some leg or something?

I would have fake tanned them better.

- Gem, please leave the positioning.

- Can you make my arms look a bit thinner?

- Come on now, I really do need you to keep

this neutral face, 'cause I want to get it right, okay?

- I am the piece of art.

- You are, you're my piece of art.

I'll never, ever forget this moment, do you know that?

- Nor will I.

- Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much

for coming this evening.

Believe it or not, myself, Cara and Billi

will be running the London marathon next week.

[group cheering]

We're using this evening's events

to raise some money for charity.

So now we thought would be the time for an auction.

[group cheering]

Gentlemen, this is one for all you lot.

We have the wonderful Miss Jessica Wright's underwear.

[group cheering]

Start at 20, 20 anyone for Jessica's underwear?

- 20, anyone to start?

- 25, Diags, you put 25 down.

- Diags, you have to put your hand right up.

- 30, anyone?

Little Chris.

- 150. - 190.

[group cheering]

- 200.

- 200 from Ricky at the moment, 205 anyone?

- Swerve it.

- 200 from Ricky Rayment.

- Come up Ricky, and collect your items.

- I got a pair at home anyway.

- If you were gonna auction something,

what would you auction?

- You, and then if the person that buys you

is really boring as shit, I'll say ah, I didn't know.

- What if they get confused

and totally think I'm their prostitute?

- No, listen, make sure they know you go out for an hour

and then that's it.

- Yeah, that's pretty much what a prostitute does.

- But what are you planning to do with the picture,

are you gonna take it to bed

and douche one out over it or something?

[laughing]

Do you think I'm sexy?

- [Charlie] You are sexy. - Shut up.

- You are.

- You're so handsome, Charlie.

- The next prize we are auctioning is a day out

with the one and only Miss Cara Kilby.

- [Cara] Really, really nervous.

- What do you think she's worth?

- Think I should start at 10?

- 20 quid for Cara Kilby?

- There we go, oh.

40, please, Frankie.

45.

50? - 200.

[group cheering]

- 300.

- 300, everybody give him a round of applause.

- Show us the money, Ricky, show us the money, son.

350 quid?

- Sold to Ricky.

[group applauding]

Mate, you can come up and collect your prize.

- I'm just saying this is a date with me,

not a night, mate.

[group cheering]

[dance music]

- I cannot believe you paid 200 pound

for a pair of my knickers, you perv.

- I'm using it as a cravat anyway, look.

- To be fair, it looks quite good.

- Doesn't it?

- Cheers, you're funny, Rick.

- I know, I know.

Obviously I've heard things

that you're seeing people and whatever.

I don't want to jump in and commit and be all argh,

and then find out you're seeing someone else sort of thing.

- Well, you're jumping the gun a bit.

We're talking, and we get on, and to be fair,

you've made it really awkward for me as well.

I can't even talk to Cara tonight.

- I didn't make that awkward, it's not my fault.

- Well, what did you have in mind?

- How about we just we just play it cool,

and we go out on a date or something,

and we see how it goes.

- All right, and then whatever happens, happens.

No more knickers?

- Plenty of knickers.

[Gemma yawning]

- You getting tired or something?

- I'm bored to shit, Charlie, what's going on?

- I'm nearly done, very nearly done.

- I've got a numb bum.

- Are you excited to see what I've done?

- A little bit, I'm a bit scared.

- Yea, I am really happy, so you ready to have a look?

- All right.

- Ready?

- My tits look saggy.

- No, they're not saggy, they're actually quite pert.

- They're like them tribal tits,

and if that is your interpretation of me,

I think there's a few more lessons to be had.

It's just my constructive criticism,

and I think from that picture

you're insinuating I need a boob job.

- No, not at all, you've got lovely pair.

- Oh, this has been a mad evening.

But, do you know what,

I think it's really broken the ice with us.

- Exactly, the ice.

Absolutely, going back to Titanic, I love that.

- So what happens now, then?

Do you want me to stay tonight, do I go home?

- Stay tonight, why not?

[dance music]

- If we'd stayed, we would have completed

26 miles of running.

- I can't believe it.

A week today, I'll be in an ambulance somewhere.

- [Lydia] How are ya?

- Pretty well, yourself?

- Oh my god, you look so different.

- I've been spying on you too, now.

I think I've caught a few glimpses.

- Of my ass?

- No, of your eyes.

- Did you say your ass?

- 'Cause my ass is showing.

It's so different, I can't even look at you.

- I got my teeth done, lost a little bit of weight.

- What've you had, veneers?

- Four yeah, are you wearing a padded bra?

- Yeah, it's fake, so are your teeth.

I just don't want it to be awkward

when we see each other out.

We've had six weeks, didn't we?

I feel like you are happier, I really do.

- Basically, if I told you I did this all for myself

I'd be lying, because, you know,

I have done it for you, Lyds.

What you said to me was, if you sort your life out,

and you grow up, then we'll see what happens.

All I'm telling you is I've started doing that now.

I've sorted myself out.

I'm not the person a year and a half ago

that used to slub, who's moping around,

and I just think you should know now.

Obviously I do still love you.

I still miss you.

- [Lydia] I still miss you.

- Do you still love me?

- I still miss you and I still love you,

but, I'm sorry, but I was so miserable

and I feel so much more happier now.

- I know obviously how much you love me.

I know that you have been affected

by the fact that I've been with other girls.

All I'm saying to you now is, I've grown up,

and I've done everything you've wanted me to do,

and I know you still love me.

All I'm saying is I would love for us

maybe to be able to go out again,

even if it's just for dinner.

- Yeah, but James, it was there for you for so long.

I said to you for a whole year,

you don't know what you've got until you've lost it,

and it got to the point where it was too late.

- Lydia, I'm not gonna be cocky,

I'm not gonna be arrogant,

but you and me can't be friends.

We can't be friends, can we, to be honest,

'cause if you and me was to go for dinner with each other,

we would end up staying the night together.

- No, I want you to move on, James.

- I would love to take you out.

I know you still love me, but if you don't want to do that,

then I'm just saying there's a good chance

that you might regret it.

I'm just saying I'm giving you the opportunity,

and it's up to you if you want to take it or not.

- Don't put yourself out there on a plate,

you're really embarrassing yourself.

Oh, shut up, you arrogant asshole.

- [Announcer] Next time on The Only Way is Essex,

will Gemma get over her Titanic experience with Charlie?

- I feel like one them pigs in blankets

that you eat at Christmas.

- [Announcer] Have Arg's veneers

bitten off more than they can chew?

- If you and me where spending a night out,

we would end up staying the night together.

- Shut up, you arrogant asshole.

- [Announcer] And will Ricky's ab stretch catch on?

[group laughing]

- [Announcer] Who knows?

These people are real,

and anything can happen on The Only Way is Essex.