Original subtitles

massive trust issues, and a dirty third eye.

The tans you see might be fake,

but the people are all real,

although some of what they do

has been set up purely for your entertainment.

Previously on "The Only Way Is Essex".

- I know I said girly night out.

- I'm having a good birthday party.

- [Arg] I know you are, I know you are.

Listen up. - You're ruining it.

- Lauren, if I really wanted to take relationship advice

from someone, I don't think you might be the first person

I turn to. - Why's that then?

Why's that then, Arg?

- My willy is killing me in these jeans.

- You are unkind.

It's disgusting.

- Look at them two fellas.

[whistles]

[all laughing]

[upbeat pop music]

- Do you know what, I spoke to Argent,

literally the other day and said to him,

"Leave Lydia, give her space, give her time,

"and then you'll find that if she wants you,

"she'll come running back to you,

"and if she don't, then you know you gotta break apart."

- I know. - What will be will be.

- I think that's it now though, you know.

I don't think they're gonna end up sorting it out.

Let's have a little rest.

Oh, hello baby.

[laughing]

Hello bubby boy.

- Awww - Ooh.

- [Cara] Did you have a nice little walk?

- [Billi] Hello.

- [Cara] I love these prams.

- [Billi] I know, so much easier.

At least they don't get worn out.

I think it's good though, at least they get fresh air.

They've been for a walk, but not physically had to walk.

- And we've been for a walk,

'cause that doesn't really happen that often anymore.

- No.

So glad you didn't let me get the pink one,

'cause I would've looked ridiculous.

- I told you didn't I?

[upbeat pop music]

- [Carol] Hello.

- [Debbie] Oh hi darlin', how are you?

- I'm all right, thanks.

How are you? - Are you okay?

- Oh, just got down here just to have a bit

of a rest, Carol. - Aw, darling.

- This is my little haven down here,

get away from the mad house, to tell you the truth.

- I did hear.

- It just was, it was just all horrible.

I mean thank god it happened right at the end of the night.

The trouble is, is over the time,

James has become part of our family.

- Of course. - And I'm not that person.

I'm not that person. - No.

- Just to be able to cut it off.

- Who invited him?

- Well, I didn't invite him - Or did you just find out?

- No, I actually told him. - Oh, right. [laughs]

- 'Cause again, I put my foot in.

- So you're in trouble again?

Trust you. - Yeah, again, again.

- But you know what it is, you try to help 'em.

- No, I did. - But sometimes it's worse,

and it takes time, but you know, I think--

- And I think, I think so if they don't realise as well,

that you've been through things

like that. - Oh yeah, they forget

about what we've been through.

- And that's what I try and say to him,

you know, we've all been through heartache.

We've all been through upsetting times.

- Like, they try to say, "Mum, you got married at 23,

"You had children at 25."

But it doesn't matter.

I said, "Them days, you know, it happened that way."

- Yeah.

- Would you get married now at 23?

I wouldn't, would you?

- No. - I'd sail around the world.

- I'm still not married now, and I'm 50.

[both laughing]

- [Gemma] Thanks for coming today, Jess.

- That's all right, I'm glad you asked,

I love all this sort of thing.

- It's good, 'cause it's like, so interesting,

but not many people get it.

I know I am spiritual.

My third eye has become like, so blocked.

My aura's blocked.

Just before Christmas, I was like, thinking,

you know what, I'm 31,

and not found the love of my life yet.

You know the Ouija board?

- Oh, you didn't.

- I did it. - Why'd you do that?

- And I asked it who I was gonna marry,

and it couldn't tell me,

and then I think that like,

a demon's got inside me, 'cause since then,

I've not felt normal.

- Really?

- That's why I wanna come today,

and get my third eye cleansed.

- A ghost isn't gonna be able to tell you

who you're gonna marry.

- But it's like, the spirits, they know the future.

But I'm not gonna be very spiritual later.

I'm going poker with Joey.

- Are you?

- I'm gonna be rolling in them chips.

[Jess laughing]

- So every time I wake up,

it's the first thing I think about.

I think about Lucy and Mark.

First thing I think about every day.

Before I go to bed, I sit there and think, Lucy and Mark.

- The problem is not what she done.

It's the lies after that.

- It's the two months of lies after.

- How can you lie for so long?

- Yeah, I know. - To everybody.

- [Mario] It's everyone.

- She didn't just lie to you.

She lied to everybody around you.

How do you feel about her though?

- I still love her. - Yeah.

- And I wanna be with her, but at the same time,

I don't, I can't forgive her at the minute.

- Yes.

- 'Cause I've always been a firm believer of,

once a cheat, always a cheat.

And if it had been any other ex girlfriend,

would I have really, really stood for it?

No, I'd have walked away from it.

- Love is just a word.

You gotta trust someone, innit?

If you cannot trust someone,

then it's pointless. - That's right, so now,

she said, "Oh, I'm gonna spend the rest of my life

"making it up to you,

"I'm gonna prove to you that you should be with me."

All this sort of stuff.

She hasn't done fuck all,

'cause I let her have me back so quickly.

She hasn't done any of that.

If anything, she's more selfish now than she's ever been.

She's taking everything for granted.

I pay for dinner all the time.

I do everything all the time, which I do not mind doing,

but she doesn't even say thank you.

- Might as well just get a hooker.

Pay the hooker, you only pay once.

- Exactly.

- I mean, you're a nice looking boy.

You got so much ahead of you.

You shouldn't waste time.

Go ahead, and make the most of it.

That's what I think.

That's what my advice to you is.

Say it was a friend of yours in your situation,

what would you tell him?

- Fuck her off.

[upbeat rock music]

- [Lauren P] Do you like my new watch, girls?

- It's lovely - Really nice.

- It's nice, nice chunky boy watch.

Have you ever had a guy buy you a watch?

- No. - Yeah.

- Have you? - Yeah.

- Have you still got it now?

- No, I sold it, and put it towards my boobs.

[Lauren P laughing]

I sold it with my engagement ring,

and put 'em both towards my boobs.

[Georgina and Lauren laughing]

- Pops, what happened with you and Prince Harry?

You had a little flirt. - Just a little flirt up

didn't I, Chloe?

I was almost a princess.

- When?

- [Lauren P] That was like, years and years and years ago.

- And you just bumped into Prince Harry randomly?

- Well, I accidentally elbowed him

in the middle of Chinawhite's, and then,

I was like, "oh hiya."

[Georgina gasps] - Do you know it was him

when you see him? - Yeah, of course.

You can't really mistake Prince Harry.

- I wouldn't know who he was, if I see him.

- I probably wouldn't know it was him

if he was out of his castle.

[Lauren P laughing] Like in a nightclub,

I'd just think he was like,

a look-a-like, eh?

- [Lauren] No, it was mad.

- Imagine your life though. - Princess Pope.

- Alright, fair enough you would have been a princess

but boring hell.

- [Lauren P] I know, you wouldn't be able to do nothing,

would you? - Ugh, couldn't have all that,

carriages up the Embankment, snoring.

- What is her surname?

Like what would my surname be?

- Princess.

- [Lauren P] What, Lauren Princess?

- Yeah, no, you would have

just been Princess. - Maybe Princess Lauren.

- Something like,

they have like an area. - What, Harry York?

- Everyone can't just be Princess London.

- No, cause they're not really from London.

They live in Buck, Buck, I was gonna say

Buckersfield! - Buckersfield!

[all laughing]

They live in Buckingham,

but they're not really from there.

- No, that's the palace.

- Yeah, but the Queen lives there, didn't she?

- You would have been like

the Kate Middleton of Essex.

- I know. - Yeah.

- Harry likes Essex apparently.

- No. - Yeah.

- I feel too guilty, taking a present off of him when,

and I feel like, as well, I feel like

if I took the present off him

and opened it and like, said thank you,

I feel like that's kind of giving him, like, a false hope.

And I just gave 'em to my mom, I was like,

"Look, mom, can you just give 'em to him?"

- What do you think it is?

- I think he got me a pearl bracelet.

- It's better than getting a pearl necklace.

- I've been here before, Lauren.

I've been here so many times, and it's like,

it's just like although, like,

I'm really, really sad that it's not worked out,

I've tried and tried. - Yeah.

- For so long now.

- [Lauren G] Do you feel that you need to meet someone else?

- No, I don't. - You don't want that?

- I don't want it at all.

I feel like towards the end of my relationship,

I felt so trapped the whole time.

- How's things with your mom now, with it?

- Yeah, again like things,

like things are fine.

Obviously she's just still like

good friends with James.

But I just don't want him to use her,

like to ask always what I'm doing and things like that,

because I feel like he just needs

to be like cut away from me as well,

like I do with him. - Yeah.

- And that's the only way I think it will work.

- So you're 100% not getting back with him?

- No.

[energetic rock music]

- How good was last night?

[both laughing]

Ooh.

But that Georgina girl was alright, wasn't she?

- She's a right naughty little sort.

[chuckling]

- That sounds about right.

I'm gonna go see Micky after this.

I've got to talk to her about the poker night tonight.

- Oh, a poker night?

- You're gonna come yeah?

- Definitely will.

Call your bluff every single time, mate.

I need to sort my outfit out.

- What are you gonna wear?

- Gotta poker myself up, haven't I?

- I'll wear glasses, dog-ear hat,

like strapped around my ears like that.

- That's what I'm gonna wear.

[both laughing]

- You're going to close your eyes

and take a very deep breath,

and breathe it down to your base chakra.

- Do it like down there?

- Yes, exactly right.

Very slowly moving your fingers and your toes,

just open your eyes and come back into the room.

What did you feel, how did you feel with that?

- I've got really bad pins and needles.

- My ear's itching, is that a sign?

[all laughing]

[sultry jazz music]

[clears throat]

- Whilst we're here, just me and you,

sometimes I feel, you know,

I mean, it's quiet today,

but like, I feel that you don't

want to work here as much as what you should.

- You're joking.

- No, like every time like me or mum or anyone

who sees you like coming to work,

and that it's like a moan or an ugh.

It's not like, "Oh yeah, it's our business, it's nice,

let's all go in and work." - Right, right,

hold on a minute.

My job role when I started, when we opened Minnies,

is to go buying, to work in the shop every weekend,

and sort of, go to the office

and just see what's going on down there.

Please show me something in here,

when was the last time you went buying?

- All right, okay, so the last two times we went buying,

who drove, whose car did we go in?

Mine.

- Stop making out you're business woman of the year here,

'cause you're really not. - Who said, oh go away!

Go on. - No, you go away!

You go away, go on.

- No, you just come in--

- No, no, no, no, no. - Probably choosing a dress

for the night out, off you go again.

- Oh my God.

- You're just uptight cause you're in a granny suit.

- It's hardly a granny suit, darling.

- You look like you just stepped out the zoo.

- You look like you're from Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.

[birds chirping]

- [Lucy] Thanks for letting me come over, girls.

- Anytime Luce.

- I've had so much crap with Mario at the moment,

I just feel, ugh, usually I'd speak to Lyd about it

but she's got so much going on, ain't she?

And I just feel like I'll burden her,

do you know what I mean?

- That's all right, you can talk to us, you know you can.

So what's going on?

- He's just being, he's just got like a split personality.

Like, all happy,

and then just suddenly he changes,

and I just want to know what's going through his head,

I really do. - Have you,

have you asked him?

- I ask him and he's like "I'm fine, I'm normal."

And I read somewhere like, if your,

if you think your boyfriend's hiding something,

or he's, whatever, being weird,

don't like snidely look down his phone.

Like just ask to look down it,

and by his reaction you'll know.

We was driving the other day, and I said to him,

"Mario, can I look down your phone?"

He went, "No."

And I was like, "Why?"

And he was like, "Well, no you can't."

- Would you let Mario go down your phone?

- Yeah, he does.

No, I say to him.

I leave it on the side, he'll take it to the toilet.

He'll take it when he have a shower.

He'll never leave it near me.

- But do you trust him?

- I don't know.

- I think when you get that feeling that something's up?

- It's up.

- Something's wrong.

[slow rock music]

- [Mick] Yeah, how you doing, you all right?

- [Joey] Yeah, good man.

I was gonna sort of talk about the poker night.

- It's all sorted, I've got the table.

- [Joey] Yeah?

- [Mick] Got the cards all sorted out?

- I've got the cards.

I've got a card shuffler.

- Alright, professional card shuffler?

Proper machine that does it all?

- Well obviously, I paid like four quid for it.

- Oh, did ya?

- Yeah, it's not very good.

- What'd you get it at a boot sale, or something?

[both laughing] Four quid?

- Got it at Argos.

[both laughing]

- [Mick] So you good at the ol' poker as well,

are you, Joey?

- Yeah, I'm alright at it.

- Would you rate yourself, like,

do you think you're gonna do alright?

- 40 to 70% good.

- Oh really? - Yeah.

- That's good then.

- That's all right, innit?

Like obviously, 40% is obviously the bad bit but--

I do good.

- [Mick] Do you want some eggs?

- I don't understand what it is though,

is it like a poo?

- No, it's an egg.

It doesn't come out of their bum, does it?

- What's it come out of then?

- Comes out their V.

- What's that?

- Like that's where an egg comes from.

- Vending machine.

[both laughing]

So do the chickens have names?

- No, I don't have any,

well, I have one.

I've just got one called Gemma, like the broody hen.

You know, you get one that sits on the eggs,

like all the others-- - Why Gemma?

- I just call it, I don't know why, it's just called Gemma.

Do you want to pick it up?

- Come on, pick it up! - I'm cringing a little bit.

- [Mick] Pick it up.

Go on, go on.

Go on, catch it Joey. [Joey giggles]

- [Joey] Oy, chicken chickens.

- [Mick] You run like a chicken, Joey!

Yeah, now you've got cornered.

He's over. [laughing]

- [Joey] Oh my God.

Man.

- [Mick] Oh, Joey. [laughing]

- [Joey] I'm not picking up a chicken if it bites me.

- [Mick] You've never known a chicken--

[Joey screams] [Mick laughing]

[Joey screams] - Fucking hell!

Oh my God! [Mick laughing]

[both laughing]

- Come on, let's get out of here.

That was actually fear on your face.

You ain't like that when you're in Nandos, are ya?

- [Joey] Oh my God. [laughing]

[gentle rock music]

- [Arg] Ya alright, girls?

- Alright, Arg.

- Hello. - Hey, Bill.

- [Billie] You okay?

- Yeah. - Mwah.

- I'm gonna go anyways.

See you later.

- Bill?

[Sam scoffs]

You alright? - What's that all about?

- Aw, don't.

She just can't seem to take any constructive criticism.

Mwah.

- What you rowing about, the shop and stuff?

- Just work and whatever, bore you to death.

So how you been?

- Tell you what, I'm not much better either.

I'm just finding it really hard

cause I can't really turn to Debbie,

I've fallen out with Lauren a little bit,

so I can't really talk to her now.

And Joey's always off with Diags, and--

- Yeah. - I just feel like I've got,

you know, no one really to turn to,

I'm a bit of a loner at the moment.

- Aw, you've got me to talk to.

- Yeah, I know like you've always been,

like one of my best friends. - Yeah, of course.

Well, obviously I'm working,

so how about later? - Yeah, yeah.

- When I finish wanna go for a drink, yeah?

- Yeah, definitely. - We'll talk about it.

- Yeah, I'd appreciate that. - And don't be down.

- [Arg] I won't.

- I'll see you later on, yeah? - Cheers Sam.

- See you later. - Appreciate that, thank you.

- Hiya, you alright? - Hiya, I am.

- Thank you.

[upbeat electronic music]

- I've booked a consultation.

- Really, why?

- Cause I've got these stupid implants.

NHS is saying they'll take them out,

but they won't put anything back in.

- Oh God, you can't do that. - I know.

Obviously, it's like a shitty situation,

but obviously the positive side,

I get a new set of boobs. - Yeah, right okay.

- And I can change what I don't like about these boobs.

I was thinking maybe go a little bit bigger.

- No.

- [Lauren P] But I know everyone's gonna be like,

"Don't do it." - Don't you dare.

Don't need to.

Don't want these big tits and like, [laughing]

- Massive, massive like porno tits.

- Don't.

- Do you know what I'm really scared about though?

'Cause I, the last time I had my boobs done,

I fainted all the time.

- Oh my God.

- [Lauren P] I know.

- Stress you don't need.

What is the fascination with boobs?

All it is is like, a round thing with, like...

[both laughing]

- With milk in it?

- Yeah, like I think, why do men love boobs?

- Does it go back to like, moms?

You know how boys like, [Lauren G laughing]

do you you know what I mean, like?

- Hope not. - 'Cause obviously,

it's like motherly, isn't it?

- Yeah.

No, but some boys love bums.

And don't like boobs.

What's that got to do with it?

The dad?

[both laughing]

[upbeat hip-hop music]

- Lauren and Lydia wouldn't shut up

and she kept butting in and made things worse.

- [Sam] Really?

- I just hated it.

- I think, genuinely, if I'm gonna be honest with you

you might not like hearing it,

but maybe she wants to know what it's like being single.

Over the last year, you've kind of led the single life.

You're out all the time, out with your mates.

You chat to girls, you're very friendly with girls.

Very friendly.

I wouldn't be happy if you were my boyfriend.

Like, do you know what I mean?

I'm always on your side, I would never like, you know--

- What do you mean by that, though?

- Like I just feel yous both lead separate relationships.

When I'm in a relationship,

I like to do everything together.

- Well, that's what we used to be like.

- [Sam] That's what you used to be like,

yeah. - We were inseparable.

- So something's gone wrong there.

So maybe that's why she's taking this time for space.

Maybe she wants to make it work,

so she needs this period to be on her own.

- That's fine and I'll give that to her.

But what I won't do, Sam, is,

if I hear one thing about her, you know,

that she's kissed another boy

or she's been with another boy,

I won't get back with her and that'll be it.

- Yeah, but that, you saying that,

it's well easy saying that now,

but let's say the shoe was on the other foot.

We're in Essex and there's always,

always rumours been flying around, always.

There's always gonna be rumours about this,

about you out clubbing, if you've cheated.

If it got back to Lydia,

maybe that's what's playing on her mind.

Maybe she's hearing rumours of you.

Have you like, have you cheated?

- Of course not. [chuckling]

- I hear that, so she must hear that.

- Yeah.

[upbeat electronic music]

- [Mick] Looking forward to the poker?

- [Mario] Yeah, mate.

- [Mick] Got you poker face on?

- Yep.

- [laughing] Is that it?

- On it, yeah. - How you doing anyway,

you alright?

- To be honest with you, I mean, not really.

- No, what's up?

Thought you looked a little bit down.

- Yeah, it's just like, things with Lucy

ain't that good at the minute.

- Oh, ain't they? - No.

- Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. - Really, really bad.

- In Essex, like all the guys and all the girls,

they all like, make an effort don't they?

- Yeah.

- [Chloe] Like even if you're going somewhere really simple

and they're like in competition all the time, and,

do you know what I mean?

- It's called topping.

- Yeah, toppers.

- I haven't heard that saying before.

- Toppers, it's like, - Toppers, yeah.

- When people around you are always trying

to outdo each other.

- Yeah.

- Obviously my dad knows me, he said,

"You're not happy, you're not yourself."

- Yeah.

- You know, like Mario, he so would love

to like, aspire to everything that Mick's got,

but I've never seen Mick actually be flash.

- [Chloe] He's not flash.

- He's like proper old school,

earned his money fair and square.

- Yeah, and he's careful.

He shops in Tescos.

- Does he?

- And he has Tesco's biscuits.

- Do you know, I think a real telling time

is if you have time apart,

and then you might realise whether you do

or don't really want. - That's exactly

what my old man said, he said, like--

- That's a good test really.

- Yeah, he said exactly the same thing.

He just said, "Have time apart, you'll know where you are."

- He'll never forgive her.

Although he makes it out he's Mr. Big-I-Am,

I'm over it. - He told me he's over it.

- What I heard today, that he didn't like it

if Lucy put her tracksuit in his wardrobe.

- Shut up!

- What's that about?

- Well, he can't love her that much.

- You can never tell what goes on

behind closed doors, or wardrobes for that matter!

[all giggling]

- [Mick] So a good game of poker

will take your mind off it, hopefully.

- Yeah, hopefully.

As long I don't get beaten by the girls.

- Oh no. - 'Cause that would

just literally be the icing on the cake.

- Oh my God, no.

We're winners mate, we're winners, let's go.

- Cheers, mate. - Cheers.

- No more gate crashing girl's nights out.

Right, come on I've got to go anyway.

- Coming.

- Right.

Remember, yeah, just give her some space, you know?

- Yeah.

- [Lauren G] Oh God.

- [Arg] You alright?

- [Sam] Alright?

- Calm down, yet?

- I'm calm.

Have you calmed down?

- Tried to, yeah.

I mean, I just think you were out of order,

to be honest Lauren, the other night.

- I'm out of order?

- Yeah, I do think that, yeah.

- I'm not out of order at all, Arg.

Like, the way you spoke to me.

All I do is try to be there for you, be there for Lydia.

I feel like-- - You haven't been there

for me, Lauren, at all.

- 100% been there for you.

- You haven't really been there for me at all, Lauren.

Lydia's got all her friends, - How have I not

been there for you? - Her mom,

and everyone there, for me,

I haven't really had anyone, to be honest with you.

And the other night was a massive thing

for me to turn up to Lydia's party.

- I wasn't being horrible to you.

I literally said-- - Yeah, but all

I was trying to do, - To go and talk to her

away from the table. - All I was trying to do,

I went there to turn up--

- Yeah, I know, you was in a right state,

and I could see that. - I know, and all I wanted

to do was give her the presents,

quickly say what I had to say,

and leave it at that.

That's all I wanted to do, and you made it so hard for me.

- Yeah, but you don't do that at her birthday.

That was the worst thing you could have done.

That's what I was trying to tell you.

- It's up for me to decide. - You don't listen

to my advice. - Isn't it?

- Well not really, because you're not getting very far.

Are you?

You have to realise to stop suffocating.

- No, because the whole reason

I wanted to do it was to get it out the way so it's done.

And I've told her that I'm gonna give her space now,

and that's the end of it.

I didn't need you-- - You won't give her space.

- I will give her space, I have.

I've given her space. - That's what you need to do.

- I'm trying to.

I don't know.

I just want to have a friend there, Lauren.

- I'm there for you. - I want to have a girl

that used to be

one of my best friends, - I'm there for you.

- Who has all of a sudden, you know, ganging up with Lydia.

- I'm not ganging up, no one's ganging up.

You've gotta stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Man up a bit. - I'm not feeling sorry

for myself, I'm trying to man up a bit.

- And realise the situation.

- That's what-- - You're going through

a break up, I'm there for both of you.

Stop thinking the whole world revolves around you,

because it doesn't. - I'm not.

- You're quiet, Sam.

- It's just hard to get a word in edgeways sometimes, innit?

- I don't wanna row with you,

I think it's more the fact that he turns on me.

And I think he thinks that I'm taking sides,

and I'm not and that's it.

- I just think that it's not gonna work

with me trying to be your friend,

Lydia trying to be your friend.

- Oh, don't be stupid.

- I just don't think it is.

I think you're better off, you sticking with Lydia,

and I'll do my own thing now and that's the end of it.

- Well, if you wanna be like that, that's fine.

- Cool.

- Bye. - Come on.

See ya. - See ya.

[Lucy sniffling]

- God.

Basically, I was at Mario's earlier,

and he left, he's got some poker thing

that he's gone to with the boys.

And I stayed in his flat, like watched TV and stuff.

And I just sat on his iPad, like, just looking at stuff.

For some weird reason, like I could see all his,

his emails going up and I thought,

I just thought I'll have a look.

I know you shouldn't.

It's just loads and loads to girls.

20, 30, 40!

- [Billi] What the same girl?

Or all different?

- No, all different, like, 40 different girls,

like ridiculous amounts of girls.

They're just so hurtful like,

and I look at the dates and they're when I was with him.

So I'm sitting there like the mug with him.

And he's sitting on his phone

and his iPad I fucking bought him,

emailing all these girls.

- [Billi] And what was the messages say?

What are they, like general chat?

- Some of them are general chat,

and some of them are like him asking them

to send naked pictures of them.

- Are you joking?

- So, I've had to sit and look.

- [Billi] Because of what you done to him,

he thinks he can now do what he wants.

- Do you know what it is, Bill?

The worst thing on here is one of them

is to a girl on Christmas day.

And I'm laying there cuddling him at the sofa,

he's sitting on his phone

messaging another girl on Christmas. [sniffling]

- You alright?

- Right girls, who wants a cup of tea?

- Yes, please.

- Luce? - Yes, please.

I'd love something stronger but I'll have a cup of tea.

- [Cara] Okay, tea first.

- Yeah, thank you.

- Let me go and help Cara get the tea.

You alright? - Yeah.

What am I gonna do about these texts?

- [Billi] So awkward.

- I've received a few messages from him too.

I wanna tell her, I just don't think today,

you know, the state she's in, is the right time.

- What an asshole, though.

- He's a proper prick isn't he?

- Right then. - Go and see if she's alright.

- All right.

I think tonight, you wanna go home,

put your jammies on, and just have an early night.

Tomorrow's a new day.

- I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight.

- I know, you just have to try.

Relax and chill.

[upbeat soul music]

- Are we alright to play poker, do we know how to play?

- Yeah.

- If you know how to play, put your hand up!

[Frankie laughing]

- Oh wow. - You don't know!

- Joey! - Half of you

don't know how to play.

- [Joey] Right, what's a flush?

- We sort of win, innit?

[all laughing] - All right, what is it?

What is it though?

- [Mick] You don't really know Gemma, do you?

- A flush is when you get an ace, a two,

a six, a Jacks, and a Queen?

- [Joey] That's it, that's it.

- Have we got to strip?

- That's later.

[all laughing]

- Guys, so right.

Everyone tell me how good you are,

how much percent are you?

- I'm 100%.

- You're not.

- I am. - You're lying.

How about, what are you, Frankie?

- I'm kind of no percent,

but I did win something like 28 grand once.

- What about you Chloe, where do you rank yourself?

- Minus percent.

[Chloe and Frankie laughing]

- [Joey] Well, I'm 70, so that means I'm the best here.

- I'm the best here.

- You're not, you're not 100%, mate.

- What the [beep], you absolute melon.

[Chloe laughing]

- Look at all yous lot looking at my ears.

Getting all distracted cause I'm gonna win.

[all laughing]

- [Mick] Deal them out, dealer.

[upbeat soul music]

- Pair of tens.

- No, he's gonna smash you to bits.

- I haven't got anything there, but you know,

you've always got one of them three.

- [All] Ohh!

[all clapping]

[all cheering] - Well done, well done!

[all laughing]

- [Joey] What are you saying?

[all laughing] - Ohh!

- [Gemma] Let's go again.

[sniffling]

- So, what I want to know is, did anybody cheat?

- Today? - I didn't.

- [Joey] Why would someone cheat?

- [Chloe] Diags has got embarrassed!

He's gone under pressure, did you cheat, Diags?

- I lost! [Chloe laughing]

I didn't cheat.

- [Mario] He's the worst cheat in the world.

- [Frankie] I think Mario cheated.

- [Chloe] Mario.

- [Mario] I didn't cheat.

- Mario's a cheat. - No, you're straight.

- I don't think he did

well enough to cheat. - He's cute,

but he's got a non-cute face, so he blatantly cheated.

- [Mick] No, definitely not.

[all laughing]

- You've got to turn that off, you're driving me mad.

- You're driving me mad. - Keep going off.

- [Chloe] Can't really think right now.

[all laughing]

- [Diags] What about you?

- [Chloe] Nothing.

I haven't really bought anything that's pointless.

I'm quite sensible.

- [Diags] I don't think I have either,

don't think I've bought anything that's--

- [Joey] I bought a tracksuit.

- [Mario] Yeah, I'll see you all later.

- You alright? - Yeah, yeah.

- Alright mate, see you later mate.

- See you later, man. - See ya!

- What's happened now?

Did you say something to him, upset him?

- He's been funny all day.

- [Gemma] Probably wants to go and buy another watch.

- Nah, I had a little chat with him.

I don't really think he's getting on well

with Lucy at the moment.

- Nah, I had a chat with him, no he's not, he's not.

They're having a bit of a tough time.

- [Frankie] Well, what's happened?

- [Mick] He says he's finding it hard to forget things.

- Can't put the past behind him.

- He seems like a bit different tonight as well.

Like quiet, didn't he?

- I think they're a nice couple though,

when they've been together, though, and they seem all right.

But you never know what goes on

behind closed doors, do you?

Anyway, anyone want another game of poker?

- [Gemma] Yeah, strip.

[all laughing] - Strip!

[gentle folk music]

[doorbell chiming]

[Mario knocking]

- [Mario] Please just let me in.

Baby. [Mario knocking]

- [Mario] Oh come on.

[Mario knocking]

Lucy, please talk to me.

[Lucy sniffling]

Lucy.

[Mario knocking]

Lucy, please talk to me.

Please talk to me.

[upbeat electronic music]

- [Billi] Hello, baby!

- [Narrator] Next time, on "The Only Way Is Essex".

Will Joey ever get to choke that chicken?

- [Joey] Fucking hell!

- [Narrator] Will Prince Harry ever take Chloe

up the Embankment?

- I probably wouldn't notice him

if he was out of his castle.

- [Narrator] And will Lucy ever get round

to fixing that blind?

Who knows, these people are real,

and anything can happen on "The Only Way Is Essex".

[horns blow]