Original subtitles

[theme music]

- [Narrator] This programme contains flash cars,

big watches and dodgy dancing.

The tans you see might be fake but the people are all real,

although some of what they do has been set up

purely for your entertainment.

Previously on, "The Only Way is Essex."

- When you're with her, you hate me.

When you're not with her,

you're all buddy and chummy with me.

- I wanna be the face of one of your nights.

Gonna call it Reem Party.

- I'm confused, I'm hurt, I'm still in love.

- I don't think you wanna be with him right now.

- No, I don't.

[loud screaming]

- You need to be truthful.

You're obviously not gonna be, are you?

- I wouldn't mind a little psychic reading

and see where we're going with it.

- It's a sign for you there, Mick, "Engaged".

- Oh, really?

- That's gonna be me and you.

♪ The only way is up

♪ Baby

♪ For you and me now

[upbeat music]

- You're doing a good job, girl.

- Stop looking at my boobs, Arg.

- I wasn't looking at your boobs!

- Don't get a boner, Arg.

[loud slapping]

Turn around, my darling.

You're supposed to be quite giddy after

because it's like losing all, what's it called?

- Losing all what's it called,

what do you mean? - What's it called?

- Fat?

- No.

- Acid?

- Acid.

- What you doing?

- Wrapping you up, babes.

- What, literally wrapping me up?

- Yeah, that's what the treatment's called.

An inch loss.

It's a new treatment that I'm learning

and it reduces fat.

- What, straight away?

- Yeah.

- Can I just do this every day,

and then just not do exercise and just eat whatever I want?

- No, darling.

- [Mick] Party was good, weren't it?

- I'm still feeling hung over, I think.

Mad, wasn't it?

- Yeah it was good.

Yeah, I really enjoyed it.

- Honestly, it was like nothing I've ever seen before.

- You don't expect everyone in rides and that

in your back garden, do you?

- It was even the crowd as well.

It was such a nice crowd of people.

- It was lovely people, weren't they?

- I still haven't slept from,

don't know when the party was.

I ain't slept from then.

- It is all work, work, party, work.

- We've got a Reem Parties.

- Is that all going alright?

- [Kirk] Tried to talk to Joey about it

but he was a bit drunk.

- [Mick] I think he was drunk, weren't he?

- He was in a pickle.

He was bad.

- I love Joey though, he's a good lad, ain't he.

- Honestly, I'm so glad we've got him working with us.

- Yeah. - He is.

- He is in his own world though, ain't he?

It's Joey's world.

- But that's good, that's good.

- I think the Reem Party will be good though

'cause he's got lots of energy, ain't he.

What you doing today anyway?

- Well, I tell you what I gotta do,

bit nervous, don't know what she's gonna say,

but I've been getting on with Lauren

like you wouldn't believe now, right.

- So you going out with her today?

- Yeah, I set something up.

Tell you after 'cause I don't wanna mess it up.

- Yeah, he's got a runny nose he has.

He needs a tissue.

- You got a runny nose, mister?

[loud kiss]

- Don't do that, ew.

[upbeat music]

- No, he doesn't like it, Mum.

Mum, no!

- [Debbie] There we are.

He got in there.

- No, don't like it.

I'm bored now.

- Actually I was thinking, Lydia.

I think I'm gonna look for a girlfriend for him.

- I think we should as well!

- I was thinking about Mr. Darcy having his own wife.

- [Lydia] I love that idea.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- Anyway, the party.

- Oh it was good, weren't it?

- I didn't get there till a few hours

before the end, didn't I.

But it looked like it had been good all day.

- It was such a good day.

Did you see when Mark stripped?

- I think he has got the best arse.

- Mum!

- It's unbelievable.

- That's disgusting!

- He's just got the most perfect bum.

[giggles]

And I mean the rides were unbelievable.

- Oh, it was amazing.

- I thought it was a little bit awkward

with you and James, at certain points, Lydia.

- Did you see later on in the night though?

James confronted Billie and Sam I think,

about the cheating thing.

He obviously confronted them and said,

"What have you heard?"

I don't even know what they said.

- No, but anyway. - It's a bit awkward.

- We'll find out the truth in the end.

Cause it's a very old saying, Lydia.

- I got a feeling that it might be Amy.

The rumours.

- What do you mean?

- I do think that she's got a bit of a soft spot for him

cause I remember near Christmas time when me and James

broke up and like I remember her, like

talking about that she done likes him.

- To who?

Who did she talk to about that?

- To Sam.

She was telling Same that she liked him.

I do think she's got a bit of a soft spot though for him.

- As a friend, she likes him.

- Yeah, I hope so.

I don't know, it'd be quite hard for me watch

cause I know her sort of thing.

- Really upset.

- And I feel like it's not completely over.

So it's like, it's not completely over.

Like, it's still awkward.

There's still feeling there and I think if somebody

jumps into my grave now, it's like

I'm not even out of it yet.

I've not completely out of my grave.

Don't fully pull me out and jump in it.

- But I think she's just friendly with everybody, Lydia.

- Yeah, I think she is. - I think Amy's just

that sort of girl. - Yeah.

- She comes across like really over friendly

with everybody and I think--

- And I think I should just blame her as well

because of, if there is going on,

if there is something going on as well,

then it might not just be her liking him.

It might be him liking her.

Maybe I've got to accept the fact

that maybe he does like her as well and that

they will.

- I don't think James is her type, Lydia.

- No.

- I really don't.

[sighs]

[spraying]

[smooth music]

♪ We had it all

♪ Every moment was painted in gold ♪

- Shit.

- I'm not doing this anymore.

It's ruining my nails all this product.

It's taking all the paint off, it's really annoying.

- Lauren, what you talking about?

- Well I'm 100% getting a cleaner now

cause I've had enough of this stuff on my fingers.

It's all dry and horrible.

- We are not getting a cleaner.

If we get a cleaner, what is the point?

Right, there is a point of you being here.

You're my fiance, but women--

- Oh my God.

Are you actually joking?

- One of the positives about a man

having woman, they get the women's touch.

It's clean. - Yeah.

- Flowers get put up. - I don't mean

I'm gonna not do anything.

It's a hot summer day.

Don't really want to spend my time getting my hands dirty

when I could be out sunbathing, going for lunch.

My nails are gonna get ruined and everything.

My hair and the stuff.

I've just had my hair blow dried,

now I've got this cause I'm all sweaty and frizzy.

- Why would your nails get ruined or your hair

cause you're cleaning?

You should clean your nails.

Bit of bleach.

- It doesn't.

They're all dry and they're sore.

- Such a bad wife.

- No, cause if we're gonna move into a bigger place

we're gonna have more bedrooms.

You know, it's gonna be kitchen, living room,

like all different rooms.

This is like, I'm finding this quite hard.

You know, it's busy.

Like I spent like four hours a day.

Is like wash, I can't leave until it's finished.

- When I'm on a golf course, and I'm teeing off like that

there's a few men waiting behind me,

I guarantee if I ask all them,

"Where's your wife right now?

"Your girlfriend?"

- How old are they, 50?

- They're indoors cleaning.

- How old are they, 50?

Well that's not me so it's rubbish.

- My grandad's always taught me

the girl should cook, clean.

If they don't do it, kick them out the door.

[upbeat music]

- Hello!

- Jess! - Hi, how are you?

You alright?

- You look lovely.

How are you?

- I'm alright, thank you.

I just need your help.

I need a whole new wardrobe.

- You need some dresses?

- Yeah, this isn't working.

- New boobs.

- Yeah, I think everything I've got at the minute,

is either too small or these look too big

and it just doesn't work.

I need so much new stuff.

We've got the Reem Parties haven't we?

- Yeah.

- That's amazing.

- And I'm being the head Reem girl for Joey.

- [Sam] How good is that?

- That is gonna be so funny.

Can you imagine?

- Yeah. - Yeah, I know.

- You and Joey working together.

But listen, how is that for you though?

Like getting involved?

- Yeah, like and I've been working for the SugarHut

like with Kirk and stuff doing it all.

- Yeah.

- Organising things.

You know, being a head Reem girl.

- [Sam] The head Reem girl.

- It's so sad.

- [Sam] That's brilliant.

- [Amy] So what actually happened with Billie and Sam?

[coughs]

- Well, I just confronted them.

Like they were the ones that sort of,

not started the rumours, but said to Lydia,

"Look there are rumours of Arg cheating."

Blah, blah, blah.

- Have you been literally?

- Some of the rumours are ridiculous.

Apparently, I've been getting like Billy Johnsons

in like toilets and it's just

ridiculous.

- Who is that?

- Huh?

- Is that boy or a girl?

- No, Billy Johnsons is like

a nice way of saying

a nosh!

- That's disgusting, Arg.

If that's actually happened, you are disgusting.

- No, exactly, I haven't.

Next they'll be saying I've got it in Amy's Salon!

- You're getting noshed off in Amy's Salon.

[laughing]

♪ We're going out tonight

♪ Check in the mirror

♪ We're looking tight

- I have just the worst luck in love, ever.

And it like really gets me down, like I just

whoever I meet it just always ends in disaster.

When I through a break up with someone

that I was really in love with

I spent, I was literally so beside myself, Maria.

I spent like 1,000 pounds on fortune tellers

cause basically, I just wanted to know if

we was gonna get back together and stuff.

- I do that.

It's like religion isn't it?

- Yeah.

But like, I totally got stitched up

cause one of them turned 'round and said to me,

"Do you know what, Gem?

"He's gonna come back to you on your birthday,

"pick up up in a limousine, filled with balloons.

"This is no shit."

I totally believed this woman.

On my birthday, I got dressed up and waited there.

- Shut up.

[laughing]

- And he never came.

He just never came, Maria.

- [Maria] What kind of men do you go for though?

- Gangsters.

- That's where you're going wrong.

- I'm so in love with Mick.

I just think he's good looking.

He smells frickin' amazing.

He's like, just the most perfect gentleman.

When I was at Kirk's birthday,

we was on the walsters,

and Mick was in the walster behind me,

and as it spun 'round, like, our eyes met.

I could feel the love.

I just want to look after him.

So, this is my plan of action.

I'm gonna bake, today, an apple pie for Mick.

Give him the pie.

He's gonna shut the door and in it there's gonna be

a note attached, and it's gonna day,

"Mick, would you like to go for dinner next week?"

Or do you think that's too pushy.

- He should be doing that for you.

- But maybe he don't know that I fancy him.

- Have you made it obvious?

- No.

- Well, I feel like a new man.

[laughs]

- I'm gonna measure you now, babes.

You might have lost some in your boobs.

It was 43 on the list, on your boobies.

It now is,

43, the same.

Your tummy was 45.5.

It now is,

you've lost an inch there.

- You sure?

- Now at 45.4.

- 45.5.

- You was 45.5, but you've lost an inch though.

- That's not literally, is it?

- You've lost something though, yeah?

- That's only .1 of an inch.

Cause 45.5 and 45.4, if it was,

it would be 44.5.

- Stop confusing me.

- At least I can still do this.

♪ He got such a beautiful body

- [Amy] What?

♪ Are you looking for him?

- They ain't got no smaller, have they?

[laughing]

[upbeat music]

[scoffs]

- You put weight on?

- How are you gonna jump in?

- [Kirk] Don't worry, don't worry.

I'll do it.

It's that smooth.

- Yeah.

- I've seen 'em do this in a film before.

- You're so cool.

♪ To Itchycoo Park

♪ That's where I've been

♪ What did you do there?

♪ I got high

- You did make my birthday, yesterday.

- Did I?

- Yeah, I've never had a girlfriend,

especially on my birthday.

So it was,

it was enjoyable.

- It's good that you realised what you did then isn't it?

- What do you mean?

- When you dumped me.

- I'm not glad that I split up with you,

but it was a good thing that I split up with you

because I realised how much I miss ya.

- I thought the same thing,

cause you've been better since we got back together.

- I just want to do everything

cause I don't wanna lose ya.

♪ It's all too beautiful

♪ It's all too beautiful

♪ It's all too beautiful

- I love you.

I do.

I never felt this way about a girl, ever.

I feel weird that I've got,

I feel like I can spend every second with ya.

- Aw, you're getting all soppy.

- A little bit.

I got a present for you, like a surprise.

But it's more a question.

It's a surprise and a question.

You ready?

[laughs]

- Oh God, what?

- But I'm not pressuring ya.

I need to

see what I can do.

I'll tell you when you can look 'round.

[buzzing noise]

Been practising this for ages.

[upbeat music]

Alright, then you can look now.

[laughing]

Can you reach that, babe?

- What, bring the whole boat in?

- Yeah, bring it all in if you want.

[boat clattering]

- This is exciting.

It's a key.

- To my house.

I want you to move in with me.

[laughs]

Don't laugh at me!

- I don't know what to say.

- Say what you want.

Do you want to move in with me?

- Are you sure?

- I'm 100% sure.

Promise.

- Okay.

- Is that a yes?

[laughs]

[upbeat music]

- [Nan] What is this then, Mark?

- [Mark] It's a right walk.

Me and Lauren are looking at a new house, Nan.

This looks nice.

- [Nan] It does look nice, doesn't it?

- [Lauren] This might be our home.

- [Mark] It's big-ish, but it's just

dunno I'm thinking more

something on its own a little bit.

Gates and like, nice land and stuff, you know?

- [Nan] I know.

- Just gotta hope mummy and them are alright

with it, Nan, cause obviously I don't know if you know,

we've been in a couple of arguments.

- Well, you must sort it out, Mark,

because I mean, at the end of the day,

your mummy and Jessica was close.

You know, you can't afford just to

leave it as it is.

- At the end of the day, all that has happened

is we've just told them that we're in love

and we're engaged, you know?

And we're not trying to distance ourselves.

The reason why we've been spending a lot time

with each other, it just because

we're newly engaged, you know?

- It's honeymoon period.

- Yeah, it's honeymoon period and we just want

everyone to be happy for us.

- Well, if you just go 'round once a week,

it's something, innit?

- Yeah.

Anyway, shall we go take a look?

- Yeah.

[car doors opening]

- Quite big, but it's quite homely.

The size.

- Big pictures here.

- Oh, I like that fire.

- Oh, the fireplace. - Yeah it's amazing.

Ain't it?

- Nice, lovely ain't it?

How much do they want for this?

- I think it's about $800 I think.

- Eight?

[gasps]

Don't.

- It's nice though, so.

- Do you know how much my first house was?

What we bought?

- [Mark] How much?

- 5,500 pounds.

- No way.

- [Nan] That one in Chadley, it was.

- Shut up.

Five and a half grand?

- [Nan] 5,500 pounds.

- [Lauren] Was that all one go?

- No, no, no, no!

We paid the deposit and--

- Cause back then, it's that 500--

- Then, it was a lot of money to us.

- [Mark] What do you reckon is a good one?

- How much you think my mortgage was?

- [Lauren] How much?

- Ten pound a week.

- What?

- Oh my God.

- Oh well, what's happening to the world?

- And we both had to go to work for that.

- Why can't we have a house--

- Cause back then you didn't earn as much either.

- Cause back then in 1960,

1968.

- In the 60's.

Yeah, I didn't know it was like that.

- Here we go, this is important.

Nice big kitchen for you to get your hands dirty.

- Think of all the cooking you could do here.

- No, I know.

- Yeah, it's every woman's dream, a kitchen.

- Oh my gosh, yeah.

- That's where you mostly are in the kitchen.

- I'll be locking her in it.

- I think yous lot is getting your heads

in the 1920's now.

- It's lovely.

How many bedrooms?

- Its got four bedrooms.

So, one master bedroom, three double bedrooms.

- Oh, yeah.

- [Lauren] Lot of space.

- It is nice, innit? - And also, we need to

look at where the kids go in what rooms.

- Don't start with the kid's beds.

[cheerful music]

[knocking]

- Hi, Sam.

- [Sam] Hello.

- You alright? - They're lovely.

They for me?

- No, they're for your mum.

- My mum?

- Yeah.

- How come you got mum flowers?

- Got to make her like me, ain't I?

- Aw, they're lovely.

- They're nice, ain't they?

[tissue paper rustling]

I'll get you some too.

[laughing]

- Have I not got a present?

- What you been up to?

- Not a lot.

Been at work today.

Jess was excited about tonight.

- Yeah, I know.

I've got a meeting with her tonight

with all the other girls at the club.

- I'm glad she--

other girls?

What other girls? - Reem girls.

- You got more Reem girls?

- Yeah.

[laughing]

They're just some random girls.

- Are they?

- No one special, like you.

- I'll have to keep Jess.

I'll have to keep a spy on you then.

- Yeah.

- So, then takin' over Essex then, aren't you?

- Yeah, I know.

Taking well over Essex.

Got to get a new flat soon, haven't I?

- Oh, that'd be nice, whereabouts?

- Dunno, somewhere around here

maybe closer to you.

Maybe next door.

[laughing]

- Moving to Brevets, because to me I'm like--

- No, I'm joking.

You'll move in with me, ya?

- Not yet.

- Yeah, not yet.

I'm not saying, I'm not gonna get it yet.

I'll get it after.

After I get a bit of dough.

Alright, my girlfriend, give me a kiss.

- See you later.

[laughing]

You got pink lipstick on you.

- Have I?

- Yeah.

Bye! - See you later.

[easy going rock music]

♪ I've tried before to tell her ♪

♪ All the feelings I have for her ♪

♪ In my heart

[knocking]

♪ Every time that I come near her ♪

♪ I just lose my nerve as I've done from the start ♪

♪ Every little thing she does it magic ♪

♪ Everything she does just turns me on ♪

♪ Even though my life before was tragic ♪

♪ Now I know my love for her goes on ♪

- Oh my God, Maria, today.

Take that.

- What?

- Just got a funny story to tell you.

- You're not pregnant are you?

- Oh my God, no.

But Kirk did like the cutest thing today.

Took me out on this little boat and

just looked like, I didn't know what was coming

he was literally like, "Oh you mean so much to me.

"Blah, blah, blah."

- What?

- So I turn around and it's this little, like

remote control boat.

Like bobbing along the water with a box on it.

He's like, "Open the box."

It's not what you think.

- A ring?

- No.

So, I open the box, and inside's a key.

He's asked me to move in with him.

- What?

I think, if you're gonna move in with him

you just got to be so,

cause he's gonna have a hold over you now

cause you're living in his place.

I've seen possessive sides to Kirk.

You know what he's been like, and I'm not saying

he hasn't changed, but as long as he's not doing it

just to have that bit of hold over you.

You don't want to like, live there for a few years

and then be like, trapped.

- Like, I'm not naive to think that

cause it's his house, I can't do anything there, you know?

It'd be our house.

Like, we'd live there together.

I can be allowed to have my friends round.

He'll have his friends round.

- It's sad that, like

me and him don't get on.

It really is because

you know?

- I think you two will,

there will come a point where you two will be friends.

It just, it's gonna take him a bit of time.

- So, how do you think you're doing?

- I think it's gonna be amazing.

I think it's gonna be massive.

- Really?

- 100%, Kirk.

100%.

I mean, I wanna be running the whole of Essex

all like promoting and that, you know what I mean?

- Yeah, you that confident?

- 100%.

They don't call me Joey Essex for nothing, Kirk.

- That's the way, man.

You see, like I'm pretty impressed.

I think it's just my dad, that's who you've got to impress.

- Yeah, I know.

I understand.

I know, I know.

- Hello.

- You alright, Jess?

- Hello, you alright?

- [Kirk] You working for us now?

- I am indeed.

- [Joey] Yeah, she's the top girl mate.

Top girl, she is.

- Where's the rest of them?

Are we gonna?

- Right, Kirk, I'm going to introduce you

to the Reem team.

Right, this is Chloe.

- Hi, how you doing? - How are you, babe?

I'm alright.

Nice to meet you.

- Yeah, this is Mischa.

- I'm Kirk, nice to meet ya.

- And this is Amy.

- How are you doing Amy, I'm Kirk.

Nice to meet ya.

Right, so you hand picked these yourself?

- Yeah.

- [Kirk] Like fucking Christmas, innit?

[laughing]

- So, alright what we need is, right, tonight

literally every two minutes you'll be spraying

yourselves with perfume.

You've got to be smelling reem.

Looking reem, being reem.

So just spraying yourself, lip glos, fake tan, everything.

Eyebrows, makeup be perfect, hair pushed back.

Just make sure that you are looking

the absolute bollocks.

- [Reem Girls] Yeah.

- I'll give you a couple hours and then I'll come back.

- And we've got something to show you, Kirk alright?

- What's that?

- Amy, stand up will you?

Be reem, that's the slogan yeah?

- [Kirk] Oh yeah.

- Mischa, look.

- [Both] Smell reem.

- Chloe.

Look reem.

And obviously,

Jess is our top girl.

- What have we got here?

- Totally Reem.

- Oh, good.

You think that up?

That's cool.

Right, I'm gonna give you a couple of hours, then.

- Yeah?

- And I want some more girls

and we'll just smash it, you know?

[cars passing]

- What the fuck are you wearing?

- What do you mean, what am I wearing?

It's summer, what do you expect me to wear?

A jumper?

- Listen, you have to have guns to wear a vest.

[laughs]

- I literally think I've tried every diet

every treatment, and nothing has worked for me at all.

I just think I was born to be chubby and funny.

I just don't think skinny, skinny's me is it?

- Don't talk Tom-tit.

Christsakes.

- The main thing is, I'm trying to look as good as I can,

I mean, I'm going to SugarHut tonight

just to sort of show Lydia I don't give a shit anymore.

I just want her to look at me tonight and be like,

"Bloody hell, Arg is looking good."

- I've quite frankly had enough

of talking about your weight and Lydia.

How you're in bits about her.

- I'm not in bits about her.

- We need to start changing the subjects.

- I'm not in bits about her.

- [Mark] You know what?

- You know what?

You're digging me out.

I mean, Joey Essex is flying at the minute

and you've lost it mate.

You're retired.

Staying in with Lauren, having your meals in every night.

You're only 24, what's the matter with ya?

[upbeat music]

[electronic music]

♪ Try to keep up

[people laughing and talking loudly]

- Oh, hey Joe!

- Hey Joe.

- Congratulations!

- Hi! - So good.

- Good night.

Have a good night.

- Yeah. - Bye-a.

- She ain't talking to me, Jess.

- Why not?

- We're family, she's just gonna forget about it now.

She's dragging out.

- Gotta say how good you look tonight, my darling.

- My darling?

[giggling]

Oh my God, don't you think it's well weird that Mark's here?

- He wants to see what's going on though, don't he?

- Can't miss it.

He has to be here.

He want to get the goss.

- Wants to see what Joe's doing.

- Oh, I reckon Arg has dragged him down here

so he can follow you about.

- Oh, I know.

Puppy dog.

Do you think he fancies me though, like that?

- Yeah.

- That's why he's coming in all the time?

- I think.

What's your favourite quality in Arg?

[laughs]

- His eyes.

- So like, would you ever kiss Arg?

- No, Sam.

- Would you ever toss Arg off?

- Sam!

I couldn't find his willy!

[laughing]

- Good night, yeah?

- Yeah, you?

- We're fine.

- Yous good tonight, yeah?

- I'm well, yeah.

- Good on you.

- Obviously there's, you know for the first time

you've started you own night, you've done brilliantly.

There's still some teething problems

and you can get by straight away,

but to see this already, the potential's there, mate.

You know what I'm saying?

- Right, yeah, it's to full capacity.

Fucking madness.

I didn't realise.

I honestly didn't think it'd be like this.

- It's good, it's good.

- It's madness.

- You've got to remember though.

It's not always about being Reem,

remember to go a bit more to it sometimes.

- Remember, don't be jeal, be reem.

[laughing]

- I'll see you later, Joe.

- See you late, Mark, see you later.

[electronic music]

- You just tell me the truth.

You missing it, or what?

- What do you think, Arg?

Is that a silly question, or what?

Is that from Joey, though?

If it was me, it would have been six bottles.

[chuckles]

I feel the world is missing Mark Wright.

- Well, I mean Joey's coming in.

He's steaming in out of nowhere.

It's gonna come to a point where it's too late

to come back.

- What is it, like I've moved on

and he's like the new kid on the block?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

It don't happen like that.

It don't happen, mate.

I might have had six weeks indoors with Lauren,

put a little ring on her finger, all that , yeah.

That's fine, I'm gonna marry her.

But let me tell you something now.

You don't understand.

This where I earn my peas, mate.

Hosting girls like that around my table.

Watch I'll have six of them.

One there, one there, one there.

One there.

[laughing]

You know what I'm saying?

The clubs are missing Mark Wright.

The world is missing Mark Wright.

That ass is missing Mark Wright.

[laughing]

- Excuse me.

Ladies, how we doing? - Hello!

- You alright?

Hello, babe, you alright?

- Doing alright.

How are you? - Doing right.

- Hey, love.

Looking lovely. - Thank you.

- You alright?

Didn't know this was gonna be this busy.

You having a good night?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Just trying to get served, and you?

- You're trying to get served?

Sorry.

Can I have two drinks please.

What did you want?

- White wine soda please.

- And what would you like?

- A rose, please.

- White wine soda and a rose wine please.

- [Bartender] No problem.

- Thank you very much.

- You alright?

- Yeah, you alright?

- Yeah, not too bad, not too bad.

- So busy, innit?

- So busy, I like this.

- Cause the sun's shining,

and everyone loves a drink don't they?

- It's not cause of Joey you don't reckon?

- Oh, yeah of course it is.

- I think it's Joey's pretty smart what he's done here.

- Yeah, no the thing is I think he's started

a competition with Mark.

Don't blame me, it's my night.

- You've not been here before, Nicola have you?

- I have been here a few times, yeah.

- I haven't seen you here.

- No, I've never met you before really.

- Yeah, probably not in here no.

- I've been here.

- We came here months ago, didn't we?

Yeah.

- Have ya?

- Yeah, I think so.

- Make sure you come back again.

- I will.

- Good.

- Thank you.

- It's alright, babe.

Alright have a good night anyway girls,

thanks for coming.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

- That's alright.

- Cheers. - Nice to see you.

- And you, babes.

Nice to see you and make sure you come back again, alright?

- I'm going to, definitely.

- Alright, have a good night anyway girls yeah.

- Yeah, see yous.

- See you later.

[electronic dance music]

- So, I finally told Maria.

- What about moving in?

- Yeah.

- And what did she say?

- She thinks it might be a little bit too soon.

- I know it's soon, it's not too soon though is it?

I don't know, do you think?

- Well I think, it doesn't seem like a big deal.

Like it doesn't seem like I'm scared or anything,

it just makes me think if it's the right time.

- You're not gonna be scared?

- I'm only scared it might all go wrong.

- So this week, we'll start you moving in.

- One thing she was concerned about though,

is obviously, now we're moving in together

and it's getting a bit more serious, that she's like,

"What happens down the line?"

Like with you and her.

- I don't like her.

If you don't like people you stay away from them,

so that's it.

- Well will she ever be able to kind of come 'round?

- No way!

- Shut up!

- No way!

- When you're not there?

- Yeah, no way.

She's not coming around.

- But this is our house or your house?

- Don't look at me.

Don't do this me, please.

Don't do this.

- I'm not gonna have someone around, you don't want

around, I get that.

- Good.

- But I'd like to think I can invite my friends 'round.

- You can have anyone apart from Maria.

[people talking and laughing]

There's Joey.

Let me go see him in a bit.

- Okay.

- Joey.

- Mate, how good is tonight?

- Unbelievable. - Best night in Essex.

- Have you seen the queue?

- Yeah, it's massive.

- It goes all the way down the road.

- It's going 'round the corner, innit?

- And we can't let no one else in now.

Full capacity.

- Oh my God, I can't believe it.

Sniper man.

- Well, I haven't spoken to me dad yet

but obviously I think he'll be happy with it.

Yeah, I think we'll do it every week.

- Every single, though?

- Definitely, best party in Essex.

- Yeah.

- 100% you are.

[dance music]

- You alright, Mark?

- How you doing Billie, you alright?

- Yeah, good thank you.

- You look really good tonight.

- Couldn't believe you turned up tonight.

I haven't seen you out for ages.

- Yeah, I know.

- Look at him, Mr. Essex over there.

Look.

He's lovely with all the girls.

That used to be you, didn't.

- Nah, he's not a Mark quite yet.

He's trying to be.

He's trying to get my ex-girlfriend.

He's trying to take the crown away.

- Ex-girlfriend?

What then, Joey's taking over?

- He can try, but he ain't done it yet.

Crown's still mine.

- That's in your opinion.

- How can you take a crown in one night?

[dance music]

- Well, whenQ I had my boobs done

I was like an empty B cause I'd had my little girl.

She was like two.

Alright, Mick?

- Yeah, good.

You have a good time?

- Great time.

- I just want to say thank you for the apple pie

you left on my doorstep.

- What apple pie?

- The apple pie that you left on my doorstep?

- Mick I didn't leave an apple pie.

- You did.

- I didn't.

I swear on my life, I didn't leave an apple pie.

- I had an apple pie with a bow,

like all hearts and a red bow left on my doorstep

when I woke up.

- Mick, I didn't make it.

- Are you sure?

- I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

Just for the future, don't eat things

that are left on your doorstep.

You don't know what's in it.

It could have anything in it.

- I think I will be alright.

- If it had arsenic in it you'd be bran bread, wouldn't ya?

That wouldn't be no good, would it?

- I'm glad to say there must have been nothing in it

cause I've been fine.

- Alright?

- Hi, babe, you alright?

- Yeah, you?

- Well, you never cease to amaze me.

- You having a good time?

- Yeah, no it's really good.

- Great time. - Good.

I just wanted to say to you, Mick,

I had such a fantastic time at Kirk's birthday.

- Good.

- And I wanted to do something for you.

- What was that?

- Did you enjoy your pie?

- Oh, did that come from you?

- [Gemma] Did you like it?

- I actually thought Chloe had left it

just to say thank you for something.

- But I just want to say from my heart Mick, like

you've not got a woman looking after you and

I just wanted to do something for you

because I do care about you Mick.

I know it sounds random, but it's not like I can

walk up to you and snog your face off.

I wanted to be subtle about it.

I just wanted to offer you the pie

as a gesture that, you know, I do think about you, Mick.

- That was a lovely gesture.

No one's ever done that for me before

so thank you very much.

- That's alright, hun.

[cheering]

- Here's to Joey!

- Reem Parties.

Reem!

- [Crowd] Reem!

- Reem.

Reem, reem, reem.

[laughing]

[dance music]

[people chattering]

- See you later, mate.

- Yeah, alright.

[upbeat music]

- [Narrator] Next time, on "The Only Way Is Essex".

Will it be plain sailing for Kirk and Lauren Pope?

- A key?

- That's to my house.

- [Narrator] Has Arg got eyes for Amy?

- Don't look at my boobs, Arg.

- [Narrator] And can Gemma cook her way

into Mick's heart?

Who knows?

These people are real and anything can happen

on "The Only Way Is Essex."

♪ The only way is up

♪ Baby

♪ For you and me now

♪ The only way is up

♪ Baby

♪ For you and me now

♪ The only way is up

♪ Baby

♪ For you and me now