Original subtitles

big watches and wedding tackle.

The tans you see might be fake, but the people are all real,

although some of what they do

has been set up purely for your entertainment.

Previously on "The Only Way is Essex."

- Ah, look, my boyfriend.

[screaming]

- I might have to have a girl stand there

and show me her boobs.

- I'm not allowing it, end of.

- I can't do a shocked face

but I can do an annoyed face.

[upbeat music]

[techno music]

- [Joey] You all right?

Hey, Chloe?

- [Together] Hello!

- What are you doin' tonight?

- We're going to a Botox party.

- What is it?

- It's Injections.

You've got, like, it paralyses the thing

that makes your muscle or in your nerve or whatever--

- Why would you want that?

- [Maria] So basically you cant frown

- So you don't get lines.

You know when you go like that?

- Oh, so you become paralysed.

- No, you put your eyebrows up

like you're really surprised about something

- Do that.

See, you've got lines.

- [Chloe] Two lines.

- Yeah.

- [Maria] We'll never get that

- This gets rid of them and prevents.

So like by now, I should have,

probably have about four lines.

- Why because you're--

Oh but once you had that done you ain't got it?

- No, 'cause I cant move my head.

- [Maria] Would you have it?

See.

- No I'd never have that.

- So what's happening with you and Sam?

- We had a little kiss the other day,

I wanna take her out on a date, ain't I, later on.

- Wooooo.

[laughs]

Joeys first date!

- I've been thinking, like,

obviously, you know, I've got certain talents.

Everyone's got certain talents.

One of mine has never been music, is it?

I'm a shit singer, shit dancer.

- No, you've got no rhythm.

- But I always think I've half a decent rapper

[laughing]

You've even said it to me, when I'm on mic--

- I've heard you on the mic and its not too bad.

- For a laugh, yeah, me and you should make a song.

I wrote somethin', look--

- [Lauren] Mark come on.

- What?

Hang on, just minute, Lauren.

- Well, it's just like poetry it'n it.

- Exactly, well I'll make this little rap up, yeah?

- What?

Like you do the rapping and I do the singing and the chorus?

- Yeah, exactly.

Like the new Blazing Squad, like that?

- Yeah, I made a few lines.

Don't laugh at me, just try, okay.

If its shit, we'll leave it.

Even if it's funny,

we'll do it as a laugh at the engagement party, I'm sayin.

Yeah?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- That could be number one, easy.

- Stop messing about now and come on, please.

- [Mark] Where we goin'? - we've gotta go.

- Something special, a really nice day I've got planned.

All right?

- [Jessica] Morning.

- Oh, you've come down. - Oh she's here

- [Jessica] Yeah.

- What a surprise.

- I feel better.

- Oh, good.

- [Carol] You're moving better, as well.

- Yeah, I couldn't even properly do that yesterday

and I just got myself out of bed which is a start.

- Are you pleased that you've had it done now?

- Yeah, excited to show all my friends.

Like that, wooo.

[laughing]

See them? - Let's have a look, yeah.

- [Carol] Wow. - [Pat] Ooh.

- They're amazing. - Like 'em?

They're lovely, yeah.

- Lovely bunch of coconuts.

[laughing]

- Yeah, so basically, I'm helping out a friend,

doing the cat walk.

So, I'm quite excited 'cause its different

that, the normal boring shoots.

Do you know what I mean?

- Yeah, definitely.

Are you nervous?

- A little bit, yeah.

- I think you'll be really good as well.

- What if I fall over?

- That'd be embarrassing, wouldn't it?

[laughing]

- Can I take it off?

- Yeah, we're outside anyway.

Wait, let me take it off.

- What even is this?

It better be something good, like a new car or something.

- Yeah, you can buy me one!

There we are.

- What the fucks this?

Oh, my god.

- Oh, it's a wedding fair.

- What?!

A wedding fair?

- Yeah.

What are you talking about?

- Something--

- When I saw weddings,

I'm thinkin' we're goin' to look at venues.

What do you mean, a wedding fair?

- Yeah, to get some ideas.

- Oh, my god.

- Come on.

- [Mark] What have I told you about rushing things?

- [Lauren] Shut up, you love it, really.

- Told you we're taking our time.

- We've gotta get organised, if it's gonna be soon.

[doorbell]

- [Arg] Deb?

- Oh, James.

What?!

- I need to go and see Mr. Darcy.

- Why have you got to see Mr. Darcy, James?

- [Arg] Cause I haven't seen him for a few days.

- This is just an excuse?

- No, its not.

It's my pig, as well,

and I haven't seen him for a few days.

- James!

This is about Lydia.

Well, Lydia isn't in James.

- I don't wanna see Lydia.

I'm not interested.

Now, I wanna see him.

So, can you let me in please?

- No, James.

[upbeat music]

- Hiya, hello.

When's the wedding?

- When's the wedding?

This is the question!

When's the wedding?

- Everyone keeps askin' us this.

To be honest with ya, we don't know yet.

- You don't know?

- She's trying to rush it for a few months.

I'm probably more talking, like 5 years?

- [Woman] Five years? - No way.

- [Woman] That's a long time, though.

- There's no way! - I'm joking, I'm joking.

- Oh, my god.

I'll be married to someone else by then.

[laughing]

- You won't

- The rings.

[upbeat music]

- That's how I want it, like that.

Nice and loose so I can go, right.

Oh, lookin' at so, crash.

In me pocket, you all right, babe?

- You're such an idiot.

- Well, that's what you gotta do, it'n it?

You cant be showing you've gotta wedding ring.

You can, yours will be glued to your finger.

- [Lauren] This is what I'm talking about.

- [Mark] Who do you think you are, Cinderella?

- [Lauren] Yes.

- [Mark] Stroke 'em, go on.

- [Lauren] I'm scared

- Grrrrr.

- Don't do that all the time!

Don't do that, I'm gonna fall.

- That's not very gentleman like,

into the carriage like that?!

- I thought that's what you're meant to do,

spank a woman on our wedding day?

Wooo fuck me, you would.

- Shhhhsh. - Oh, man.

What do you mean you wouldn't shhsh?

Did you just see how much that just shot.

- I think it's beautiful.

Quick, this is what I want at the engagement party.

[upbeat music]

- Three grand for a wedding dress?!

- I'm looking at 10 grand for a wedding dress.

- 10 grand!?

- Yeah

- You wear a dress one day, then you put it in the loft.

- So?

It's the best day of your life.

It's there to always remember.

Think of all the beautiful pictures, the photo albums--

- [Mark] How long before the wedding

you should buy the dress?

- At least, I'd say, 10 months.

- 10 months before the wedding?

- [Woman] Yeah. - Oh, my god.

- 'Cause there all made to order.

- So you're gonna wanna buy a dress in like, two months?

- We better do it today.

- [Woman] Better do it today. - No chance!

- Yeah. - [Woman] That's right.

[mood music]

[pig grunting]

- [Debbie] James, what are you doing?!

What are you doing to him, James?

- Nothing.

- Why don't you just admit it,

that you're in the garden, okay,

because it's a way to get into this house.

- It's not a way to get into the--

- And really, probably, if you think about it,

cause I know the way that your brain works,

you probably bought Mr. Darcy for Lydia

just so that you knew you'd always have that connection.

- That's not true.

- What's going on, mum?

- [Debbie] I didn't actually let him in the house,

he come round the side, but he wont go now.

- You shouldn't really be here, should you James?

- Listen I've come round here

to take Mr. Darcy for a walk,

if you two are offended or upset by that

then I suppose I'll just--

- I just think its a bit unfair, really, James.

Obviously I'm still hurt and its all fresh wounds

and you shouldn't really be coming round my house,

sunbathing in my garden, should you?

You've got to give me my time.

- I'm not sunbathing, Lydia.

I'm trying to take care of our pig.

But you know what, if you want me to go, I'll go.

- Well, I think that's for the be best, really,

because of, I'm...

Its just unfair.

- M'kay, I'll go.

See you later, Mr. Darcy.

[pig grunting]

[country music]

- [Announcer] This dress has an amazing retro top

and beautiful bow style detail at the back

down into the skirt.

- Shut up

- [Announcer] 810 pounds.

[clapping]

- [Billie] Absolutely stunning, really lovely, everything--

- Thank you. - [Billie] Looks perfect.

- I love it.

- It is amazing.

I just wanna cry, do you know that?

- [Announcer] Your appreciation, please, for Lucy.

- [Lauren] Go out to boot.

- [Billie] It's beautiful.

- Right, wish me luck.

- [Billie] Good luck, see you later.

- [Harry] See you out there.

- See you in a bit.

- [Announcer] ...has a very large...

- [Announcer] Let's hear it for Jenna.

[applause]

- [Lauren] Oh, god.

I think it's a nice dress, though.

It's really low.

- [Announcer] Your appreciation please for Sam.

[applause]

- Fuck.

- So babe, we're gonna get ready for the Botox party.

- I think its gonna be really good.

- Babe, it's gonna be brilliant.

I'm gonna have it done.

I don't need it, but I'm a bit nervous because--

- [Paloma] You don't want, like, too much.

- Yeah, too much.

- [Paloma] You wont be able to move and--

- I need to be be able to move my face.

Is that, like, the look, isn't it?

- It looks like the back of a spoon, you know,

shiny, round head.

[laughing]

- Men have it done now, do you know that?

- Do they?

What is it, a trend now?

- Apparently so.

Slyvester Stalo--

What's his name?

- Sylves--

Sylvester. - [Amy[ Sylvester.

- Sylvester Stalone.

- Sir vest, Syllavest.

Sylvester, I can't even say his name properly.

Sylvester Stallone is how you say it.

- Sil, I think it's like silver.

- Silver lester.

[laughing]

Silver lester.

I cant even say it.

- It starts Sylvest--

- I cant even say it, Sylvester.

- Yeah, Sylvester.

[laughing]

[water running]

- [Chloe] Oh, lovely, thank you.

- [Joey] Thank you.

- [Waiter] There we go.

- So, tell me about your plans for your date with Sam?

- I thought about takin a little picnic.

I've gotta like brook at the end of my road,

its like a forest, but not a forest

'cause it's not loads of trees everywhere.

Got, like, open space.

- Right, so, you're gonna go to the brook, picnic?

- And I'm gonna try and make more out of it.

I might do something else afterwards or

take her to the brook or take her somewhere before,

and call it, like, Joey's little adventure.

- Show her points of interest, Joey interest.

- Right, I'll say like, I did that when I,

I did something there, I done that there once.

- [Chloe] Yeah.

- Make me little bases and all that,

me little house is down there.

- I think you're idea's good.

When you, like, first meet someone

you just want to know everything,

even if its just rubbish stuff.

- Yeah.

I might make a rope swing and start swinging her round it?

- Yeah, no, don't do that.

- Little monkeys swinging about,

don't you think that'd be funny?

That'd be real funny.

- No, leave that right out.

[upbeat music]

- I dunno.

I don't think so.

I quite like the one you've got on

because it's a bit more,

I think it's a bit more booby.

That one's a bit more cover up, isn't it.

I know you like to get your cleavage out a bit.

- Yeah, but if its an activity, would my boobs pop out?

- I'm sure Joey won't mind if he sees a bit of nipple.

- [Sam] Very true.

- What's your idea of a perfect date then?

- Probably like to be picked up in a really nice car,

like chauffer driven,

up to London, go to a really nice restaurant,

maybe the theatre.

- I'll make her sandwiches,

- Yeah, cool.

- So, I'm gonna get her party sausages,

little yoghourts, strawberry ones,

Thomas the Tank Engine strawberry ones, yoghourts.

- Babe?

- And they're really nice.

- I would stay away from the Thomas the Tank Engine theme

and I would make it more like--

- Well, no.

I'm just gonna get yoghourts, I'll get yoghourt.

But they have actually got, like,

a certain yoghourt with Thomas the Tank Engine on it.

- Okay.

- And then a few drinks in a nice cocktail bar,

and then a chauffer driven car to take me home.

- Is that what you're you expecting him to do,

something like that?

- Yeah

- So, you never know.

You and Joey could be the new Mr. & Mrs. Essex.

- Oh my god, imagine if my surname was Essex!

That would just complete it all, wouldn't it!

- No, I'd be organising the wedding.

You'll have a better wedding than Mark & Lauren.

- Oh, that'd be boring wouldn't it,

could you imagine.

- God, arguing as there about to walk down the aisle.

Lauren's crying.

- Mark's just got back from a night out.

- Persuading Lauren that he's stayed at his mum's or,

"Lauren, I swear to god, I'm engaged to you,

"I would never cheat on you."

- That is so true.

- Hello.

- All right.

- [Popey] How are you?

- I'm all right, how are you?

- [Popey] I'm all right, loving the weather.

- I know its lush.

I dunno what to say.

It's really awkward.

- It doesn't have to be awkward though.

- I just don't want you to feel

like you cant talk to me as a friend, like,

I don't want you to feel like

cause I don't like Kirk there's certain things

you can't talk about.

Or you can't, like, you would just have chit chat.

Like, oh, we did this the other day or went here,

or whatever, like.

- Yeah but that is the air at the moment

and that just takes time.

The thing cant just, like,

click, be back to normal.

It's just time.

- We just need to, like, clear the air.

- Everyone just needs to chill out, take a few days.

You're bound to bump into him.

It's just how you decide to act.

I think both stop the sniping.

For us to be able to move on,

I think all of us just have to forget everything.

- Hmmmm.

- Me and Mark discussed what we thought

might be a nice idea.

We were thinkin', you know you've got engagement parties.

Sometimes, you know, traditionally, you all dress up.

But we wanna do something different.

It's Essex, it's Mark and Lauren.

It's not like a normal sort of--

We wanna do it big and fun don't we?

- Hmm, classy.

- So, we was thinking, why don't we have a Playboy party,

Playgirl party, like Bunny girl party.

- [Girls] What?!

- My man.

- Don't be--

- The girls dressed as bunny girls,

and the boys dress like Hugh Heffner

and the dressing gown cigars, by the bar--

- [Lauren] I've never heard-- - [Jessica] That's ridiculous.

All right, thanks for your help,

but no thanks, see you later.

What's your idea?

- What you talking about?

- I said, I said--

- Let Nicola talk, it's her turn.

- I think it should just be, like,

a traditional engagement party.

- Classy.

- With all your--

Yeah, classy, thank you.

All your friends and family that you love there,

and a chance to show everyone that they mean--

- You're actually serious about this wedding.

- Yeah, they're serious.

- Right, I appreciate all the ideas,

but this is Mark Wrights party.

It has to be the bollocks, right.

I want it--

- Who does he think he is?

- Let me finish please.

I want it glitz, let me speak.

I want it glitz, glam.

I want the singing to be on top draw.

I want an amazing, amazing entrance.

I might come in on a horse, cause I can ride a horse.

- Oh, fuck off!

What?

About a horse like.

Mr. Darcy leading them in on the way.

- Mr. Darcy with a page minute.

- [Nicola] You can have a pig, that's about it.

- So, maybe that's the difference, right.

That's exactly the difference.

You've just lined it up.

You and Lydia you walk into parties

with an horrible little pig, all right.

It's horrific.

- Listen, I might walk in with a horrible stinking pig,

but when you walk in everyone will be turning round going,

wanker!

[laughing]

[bass music]

- All right, girls.

- Hello!

- [Amy] You look cute.

- Hello.

- You all right babe?

- Yeah, you?

- [Amy] What drink is it?

- I'm a virgin, a cosmetic virgin.

- Surg virg!

- A surg virg.

- Girls, if you want it done, go for it.

If you don't, then you're gonna be well jeal!

- What shall I do?

- [Amy] Just go with like, a new eyebrow.

- Stick with me, I'm not having any done.

- Why are you not having it done, babes?

- I've never had it done, I don't, I dunno?

- Have you never had Botox in your head?

- I've had my lips done, but never a Botox.

[upbeat music]

[knocking]

- Hello.

Have you gotta rucksack on?

- [Joey] You all right?

- Yeah.

- Looking forward to it?

- Yeah, what are we doing?

- Were going on a bike ride.

- Oh, my god.

You are joking?

- I'm gonna call it Joey's little adventure.

So, were gonna go on a little, like, tour.

- Yeah.

- I want you's to know more about my life.

- Okay. - Yeah.

- I'm not sure.

I haven't rode--

Got on a bike for ages.

- Don't tell me you don't know how to ride a bike.

Do you know how to ride a bike?

- Yeah, but look.

I've got high heels on.

- Yeah, well, put some flats on

or trainers on.

- I'm not wearing trainers.

I sound a bit ungrateful but, a bike ride?

- Come on, we're going for a picnic and everything.

I'm gonna take you somewhere special, trust me, its funny.

You'll love it.

- Fine.

- [Lauren] Hi, girls.

- [Together] Hello.

- What took you so long, were you at home?

You look lovely.

- All right, babe.

Thanks, babe.

- Hello

- [Amy] Jess!

Look at you, wow!

- [Girl] We wanna see!

- Oh, thank You.

- You've grown.

- A little bit.

Are you glad you did it?

- Yeah, very.

- Good for you.

- Am I allowed to be in this club,

cause I've not got fake boobs?

- [Popey] You've got your nose though.

- Okay, do I fit in now.

- Is Sam missing tonight?

Where is she?

- [Popey] Where is Sam, I was thinkin' that.

- She's on a date with Joey Essex.

- [Girls] Oh!

- [Chloe] He didn't tell me about that, I didn't know.

- Really?

Yeah there quite cute, actually, don't you think.

Little glamorous couple, ain't they?

- [Joey] Ahh, think these shoes are too small for me.

- [Sam] I don't like bike riding.

It's really hurting my nunny in this thing.

It is.

- [Joey] Aint got long now, we'll be there in a minute.

- [Sam] Be where?

- [Joey] You'll see.

Come on.

- [Sam] Wait for me.

- [Joey] Hurry up.

- [Sam] Well, you have to remember that I am in wedges.

- [Joey] Hows your nunn?

- [Sam] Hurts.

- [Joey] Come over here, look.

- [Sam] It looks like a prison.

It's disgusting, what is this?

- [Joey] This is the dump.

- The dump.

You brought me to a dump on our date?

Why would you bring me here?

- To show you, okay.

This is where we used to go when I was a little boy, yeah,

when I was small Joey.

We used to go here, like,

we used to bring my bikes down here,

get all our wood, carpet.

Like, when we used to build the tree houses and that.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Do you like it?

- No its disgusting.

- Did you used to build tree houses and that,

when you was little?

- I used to have adventures, but not at a tip, Joey.

- Yeah, I s'pose, yeah.

Yeah s'pose.

Are you not impressed?

- I'm not enjoying this so far, no.

- It's funny, shut up.

- It's not funny.

- Come on, lets go

- How much have you had done?

- I had my lips done, like, a year ago.

- Yeah.

- I don't think I'd bother again.

Boobs, teeth, hair.

- Yeah, you feel good about yourself, though.

- [Popey] Its just enhancing what you've got,

it's not changing what you've got.

- Yeah.

- The best thing I did, like, was my teeth.

It made me so happy.

It's all about the racehorse look, isn't it?

- What's this look then?

- The racehorse.

Big teeth, big lips, you know.

- I think I've naturally got the big teeth,

I don't need to worry there.

- Exactly, here's to racehorses.

Cheers.

- [Joey] Loads of flies in here aint there?

- Mm-hmm.

Hard to walk through here in my wedges.

- Is it?

Why don't you change to your flip flops?

- No, I haven't got them with me.

- I thought it be, like, quite a nice place to take you,

you know what I mean?

Like, its quite nice in here aint it?

Don't you think?

- So have you prepared this food yourself, then?

- Yeah, we've got

salt and vinegar crisps, do you like them?

- Yeah.

- Strawberry yoghourts, homemade sandwiches,

your favourite, ham and cheese.

- Are you actually joking?

- All right, wait.

[laughing]

They'll be nice, trust me.

- It's squashed

- They'll be nice, look.

- Oh wait, that's ham.

- Yeah, ham and cheese.

- No, it's not ham and cheese?

- Oh, I thought you wanted ham and cheese sandwiches,

didn't think you wanted ham and cheese in the same sandwich!

- No, I like ham and cheese together.

- Oh, sorry.

- That's all right, don't worry.

It's fine.

Okay, let's open the champagne.

- Yeah, fucking hell.

[laughing]

You comfortable sitting here?

- Yep.

- It's comfortable it'n it, this little thing.

My willies hurting a little bit.

- Your willie?

- Yeah.

- From what?

- Sitting here like this.

- So, I wanna say.

Girls, the engagement party's this week

and I want you all to come.

[girls chatter]

Yeah, so you'd better get your ball gowns out.

It's literally gonna be like a wedding,

you know what me and Mark are like,

we like the full works.

- Are you inviting everyone to the engagement party?

- Yeah, I'm inviting everyone.

- [Jessica] Literally everyone?

- [Popey] Will Sam be invited?

- I doubt she will come, you know.

Do you know what I mean?

It's a big thing, so.

But I'm not, would not not invite anyone.

Everyones welcome.

- What about Lucy?

- Mark would not have Lucy walk in there so,

no, it's a definite no, no there, so.

- But the thing is here, Lauren,

you totally, you're marrying Mark Wright,

not so much you're marrying Mark Wright--

- [Amy] The legendary Mark Wright.

- The Mark Wright.

- He's marrying Lauren Goodger and this is a celebration.

- Me and Mark have discussed the engagement and stuff

and it's gonna be, like, draped in white,

like, it's gonna be very out there, classy.

It's gonna be big.

Its day and night, by the way, so it's throughout.

- We need a wedding though, don't we?

We need something going on.

- Proper Essex wedding.

- [Amy] We can Essex it up.

- Oh, my god.

Can we have a night like this?

- Yeah.

- Lovely thought.

But also I think the men should have it done as well,

for the engagement.

- Yeah back, sack...

- [Together] And crack.

- Yeah, but would you actually wax a guys crack?

- Why not?

- Oh, no!

A woman must be bad enough, but a man!

- That is sick.

- Hi, Maria.

Hop on the bed.

- So, where I want it on my forehead,

just, like, to lift the brows up a tiny, tiny bit.

- Okay.

- Do you have to do more more injections

because I've gotta big forehead?

- There's more muscle mass, yeah.

- Maria Fowler, she's with the party tonight,

she's just got way too much done,

so I don't wanna look like her.

- Okay.

- So, just a bit more natural.

- Okay, we'll do it really soft and natural, I promise.

- Thanks hun, yeah.

Inject me up.

- Okay.

- God look at that, the size of that forehead.

- Okay, frown for me Amy.

Tiny frown, relax.

Okay, tiny scratch now.

- It's not that bad, is it?

All done, just want you to frown,

lift your eyebrows up, lovely.

- So how you feeling?

Your boobs?

- Good, I'm so happy.

I'm really happy, yeah.

You forget that you've had a major operation,

because my body's been,

feels like its been through the wars,

but I'm gradually getting there and feel a lot better now.

- Yeah, well, they look lovely.

- Thank you.

- I cant wait to see them, like, in a bikini or something.

- Yeah, it was good though.

I'm glad I had my mum there any everything.

She was there the whole time.

- Was she happy that you done it?

- Yeah.

- Was she?

- Yeah, she was really pleased.

She was like, I told you, you wouldn't regret it.

She does everything for me, she's so sweet.

- Aw, that's so nice.

- Are you close to your mum?

- My mum left when I was three.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah, so I don't know her

and I don't know what its like to have a mum, really.

- Oh, no.

- But I'm really close to my dad,

I'm a daddy's girl and I always have.

I don't know--

- Oh, bless you.

- Even if I had a mum I don't think,

I still would have beem for my dad.

He's like, he's just an amazing man, like,

the most amazing man I've ever met.

I know he's my dad, but he really is.

- Well you seem to have turned out wonderful anyway, so.

- A little bit nutty.

- No!

If you wanna mum you can share mine.

- Oh thank you.

- Ready?

It is good though, aint it, for a first little date?

- It's different.

I do like the effort you've put in, though.

- Do you reckon?

- Yeah, you've done really well.

- Haven't I?

- I think it's really nice, I like it all.

The picnic's really nice, very romantic,

champagne and strawberries, squashed sandwiches.

I don't like the tip.

- Yeah, I knew you wouldn't like the tip.

But...

- But, it's part of it I suppose,

and it's part of the day that you planned, isn't it?

- It's part of Joey's adventure, it'n it?

- Yeah.

- I think it's been nice today.

- Yeah, it's lovely.

- So, you gonna gimmie a kiss or what?

- I'll give you a kiss

only cause of the effort you've put in for today.

You've got lipstick on.

- Have I?

Am I a good kisser?

- You are a good kisser.

- Am I a better kisser than Mark?

- Do you know what?

I would actually say that you are.

- Really?

- Because, you know like, with Mark, like,

when he used to kiss me, and that,

it feels like it didn't mean anything.

With you, when you kiss me, it feels like quite nice,

do you know what I mean?

- Yeah.

- Like Mark feels,

he's just, like kissing someone for the sake of it.

- No, I know what you mean

Well, I've never kissed Mark.

Can I have one more kiss on the lips?

- Thank you for today, it's been lovely.

- That's all right, it's been nice it'n it?

- Yeah.

- Oh, my god.

- [Lauren] How did it go?

- Do you know what?

It feels alright actually,

I only had a little bit, remember,

because I'm just trying it out,

but, yeah it feels a bit, it feels good.

- Was it painful?

- What does it do?

Does it work straight away?

- Two weeks.

- Did it hurt, though?

- No, not at all.

- Ahh, look we're nearly home.

- It's cold, isn't it?

- It's freezing now.

- Bet you cant wait to get in bed, can ya?

- Hmm, bet you wish you could come with me.

- Yeah, definitely.

- No chance!

- Oh, your bag's well annoying!

So did you have a good day, yeah?

- It was all right.

No, I'm joking it was amazing.

- What do you mean it was all right?!

- I'm joking, it was good.

- Yeah, does me hair look all right?

Give us a cuddle, come here.

- I had a really good day, thank you.

It was good.

- Good, yeah.

- Yeah.

- You enjoyed it.

- It was pretty good.

Thank you.

I'll speak to you later, yeah?

- I'll speak to ya later.

Take all this home now.

- Bye.

- Bye.

See ya later.

Whoa, whoa.

- How about this?

You know what Marks like,

like with his, how he thinks

he's gonna be in this business, that business.

Turn round to me the other day and went,

"Yeah, I'm gonna start up my own modelling agency."

- Oh you're joking?

- What like glamour modelling?

- That's what he said, he went

"It'll be a mixture, bit of commercial,

bit of fashion and bit of glamour."

I literally wet myself laughing.

I went who do you think you are Alan Sugar?

I said no one's gonna take you seriously.

- Does he know I've gotta model agency?

- Do you have to check out girls tits?

- No!

- In Marks world, maybe.

- "Yeah, I'll have to stand there and check them out"

- Are you sure he's not winding you up?

- No, he's deadly serious.

And I know when he wants something and means it,

like, yeah it's gonna be a mixture,

it's called the Wright Look.

- He's probably just winding you up, it'n he?

- I think that's fine if he's gonna do that,

I will be sitting there

and I'll end up punching them in the face

cause it will piss me right off.

- [Amy] You go, Lauren.

- Good luck to him,

but he's got some stiff competition.

It's the hardest thing is finding the girls.

You get a girl walk in, beautiful face, shit tits.

So difficult to find the girls.

- Mark will find them

- He makes me laugh,

I love him for him,

but he just thinks he knows everything

and he's in this dream.

Sometimes I say you've just gotta come back down to earth

and just want him to think more normal.

Do you know what I mean?

- I think he just wants to keep earning money,

just cause you're getting married

you need to have your careers that you wanna do.

You can't--

- 100%, but he's gotta--

You've gotta admit the way Mark is,

he wouldn't just let me do what I want?

- Well that's more for you though,

that's the point I'm tryin' to make to you.

- Of course, but I still understand what he says

and respect it to a certain extent,

but it's like we're a couple now,

we're not just boyfriend and girlfriend, we're engaged.

- [Narrator] Next time on "The Only Way is Essex."

Can Mark bare to look at any more wedding tackle?

- Three grand for a wedding dress?

Dream on love.

- [Narrator] Will Amy's treatment leave her stoney faced?

Will Joey Essex take Sam up the dump again

on their second date?

- Do you like it?

- No, it's disgusting

- [Narrator] And will Mark's engagement party

finally draw a veil over his relationship with Sam?

Who knows?

These people are real

and anything can happen on "The Only Way is Essex."