Original subtitles

and Harry in a leotard.

The tans you see might be fake but the people are all real,

although some of what they do has been set up

purely for your entertainment.

Previously, on "The Only Way is Essex"

[Arg laughing]

- I cry every single night because of you.

- Well, it's going well then isn't it?

- Listen, he is a goat.

She is mental.

- [Kirk] I miss you so much.

- You cant marry a Range Rover.

You cant sleep with a Range Rover can you?

- I'll give it a good go.

[Nanny Pat laughs]

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

- Oh yeah, my hair is looking reem.

- What does reem mean? [laughs]

- Reem, it means like nice.

Like you'd say, "That drink's reem."

- Right, okay.

I didn't know you blow dried your hair?

- I don't blow dry my hair.

- But you just blow dried it?

- No, I was hair drying my hair.

- That is a blow dry

- No, a blow dries when you go to a shop, innit.

Like, if you go to shop you get go for a blow dried,

'cause you're a girl, you go to a salon.

[Chole laughs]

- What? - Its not.

If you blow dry your hair, you blow dry your hair.

It's the same, whether you do it or somebody else does it.

- Yeah but, no, gotta.

I'm so confused - Do you do that everyday?

Do you have to blow dry your hair everyday?

- Yeah, but I don't.

This is not a blow drier, this is a hair dryer.

- Yeah, exactly the same thing.

- I cant believe what happened last night, Lauren.

- You cant believe?

How do you think I felt?

After you left we sat there for a little bit.

I started crying, he started crying

- He was crying?

- Yeah, proper crying.

I've never seen him cry before.

Just said that he made a mistake,

and that seeing me made him realise that he wants me back.

- What?

What did you say?

- I was like, well you were on a date!

What the hell?

- [Maria] Was you buzzing though secretly when he said that?

I bet you were like, "Oh my gosh."

- Yeah, that's what everyone wants to hear

when they've just been dumped,

you wanna know that they want you back.

- So what you gonna do?

- I dunno, I would like to speak to him.

'Cause I just stormed off.

It was just to much to handle, so I left.

So its just kinda been left a bit open.

- [Maria] Yeah.

[gentle music]

- [sighs] God, I'm in a bad mood today.

- Why?

- Oh my God, the worst thing happened ever.

- [Sam] What?

- Walked in this restaurant - Yeah.

- And Lauren and Maria are sitting there.

- [gasps] No!

- Why does it always happen to me? [laughs]

- No, what did they do?

Did they go mad?

- Sam, it was awful - Really?

- Maria piped up at me, - Maria?

- Calling me a slag and stuff, how am I a slag?

- No.

- I was seeing Mark for a bit and then I'm single now,

and I go on one date.

And that makes me a slag? - Oh my God,

you don't deserve to be called a slag, that's a bit much.

- And Joey's come onto me twice now. [laughs]

And turned him down, so it's not exactly like--

- Yeah, it's not like you're riding around Brentwood.

- It's always the girls that get the blame.

- We need to do something about this. [laughs]

- Maybe we should just become lesbians. [laughs]

- Mark, definitely would be gutted then wouldn't he!

- So when we go to that thing tonight,

the fancy dress at Harry's party.

- Yeah.

- Is are Sam and Lucy going?

- I don't know, are they?

- Suppose so.

- How will you feel, bit awkward?

- With lucy, I'd be able to get her any day.

Every time she walks away from me, it's nothing.

Literally, just playing hard to get even more.

Which is ridiculous.

- Totally playing hard to get, for sure.

- If I asked her to go out on a date with me on,

on what's it called on, tonight, yeah.

If I asked her to go on a date with me tonight,

100% she'd say "Yeah," do you know what I mean?

[both laughing]

- [Chole] And what about Sam?

- Yeah, Sam's a nice girl, I like Sam.

She's a nice girl ain't she?

- So nice, she's gotta wicked personality.

- [Joey] Wicked personality ain't she.

- Takes a little while to get to know her at first,

but then when you speak to her a little bit more,

her personality just shines right through.

- That's what I mean

- I reckon you're in with a chance.

She was flirting with you the other day.

I reckon you're definitely gonna be a winner

with all that aftershave on.

- You reckon? - Bloody hell!

They'll be able to smell you coming.

- I've gotta look reem, smell reem, be reem.

- You look reem. - Do I?

- Yeah

[upbeat music]

- Average.

- Oh, fucks sake. - This is gonna be a long day.

Come on.

Hit the ball!

- [Arg] Yeah, I'm doing it, shut up!

- You're such a dickhead!

- Last night I was really angry.

I come in with all exciting news,

and she just literally went off on one

and literally exploded.

I've never known anything like it, Mark.

- Well has she got a right to explode?

- Well, I dunno.

She's basically saying the fact that

I'm not spending enough time with her.

All I wanna do is spend time you with you.

I dunno what it is, I mean I dunno whether,

maybe its her time of the month or?

- She didn't blame me did she?

- I dunno, she didn't blame you.

- See what annoys me about this is this, right.

I'm always the scapegoat.

'Cause you have been acting bad,

and you ain't as innocent as everyone thinks.

In fact, at this point and moment in time

you're worse than me.

- No, I'm not - Yeah you are!

You're looking at girls more than I am.

You know it as well. - Look,

as long as we're not touching, we're looking,

there's nothing wrong with that.

But I think she's just concerned that she thinks that I'm

falling out of love with her and don't love her anymore,

and I think it's just getting to her.

But it's not the case Mark, I love her more than ever.

- Has she heard anything about you and other girls

or anything?

- No, there's nothing to hear is there?

- That's what I'm asking, has she

heard any rumour or anything? - No, of course.

No, it's nothing like that - She's gone ballistic

just about the way you've been acting?

- Honestly, Mark, I cant see me and Lydia

ever breaking up again.

- Maybe you gotta really look

and think what you've actually got.

Lydia's a stunning girl, she's got loads going for her.

I mean, without being disrespectful,

but she's the nice one and you're being like this horrible--

- The one thing I did have in the relationship

was that I had the personality.

Exactly, if I'm losing that

then what have I got to offer her?

[gentle music]

- I just feel like I've been put on the shelf

and all he ever wants to do is spend time with Mark

and his friends, and just leave me bottom of the list.

He cant not answer the phone to me all day.

- That not even a relationship is it?

- And then he brags about it when he comes in and goes,

"How does it make you feel that your boyfriend

"hasn't answered the phone to you all night, all day?"

- Oh my god, can you not see what he's doing?

- [Lydia] Exactly

- He's tryna make you feel insecure.

- [Lydia] Exactly, that is

what he's doing. - That's what he's doing.

He's loving it.

He's absolutely

loving what he's doing. - He's going, "oh,

"I could replace you like that.

"I've got lots of girls after me."

And I just think things like, it hurts me.

When he says things like that,

it feels like someone's just stabbed me in the heart.

- [Lauren] Yeah of course it will.

- Even the other day, I know he said it jokingly,

but he turned around and he went, "Bros before hoes,"

in front of my mom as well.

- Oh my God.

- Yeah and and he went, "Bros before hoes."

- He talking about you?

- Yeah, and you.

- Oh great.

- He said that Mark will always come before me

and James will always come before you.

- I don't get it - Neither do I.

Seems like Mark's turning into Arg

and Arg is turning into Mark. - They're swapping roles.

- [Lydia] They are!

[upbeat music]

- [Amy] How lovely is it here!

- [Harry] I've always wanted a party here, do you know that?

It's such a lovely place and venue.

- [Amy] Oh, its beautiful babes.

Oh my God, it's so like beautiful.

- [Harry] Oh my God, this is stunning.

- Oh my God, look at the pool!

- Oh, lovely.

- Yeah, you like it?

- Oh, this is beautiful.

- This is the main pool area, the main outdoor area.

- Its my birthday party, its my 17th.

The themes icons, so I'm gonna come as

probably my best celeb, probably Lady Gaga.

Amy who you coming as?

- I'm coming as Jessica Rabbit

- Jessica Rabbit? - Yeah.

- Very fitting

- It's brilliant. - Everyone's gotta be

fancy dress haven't they, Harry?

- Yeah, literally, it's gotta be.

Even the bar staff are half-naked with a little bow on.

- Just for fun. - Ooh.

- Sorry about him, Darren. - Sorry, that's just my wish.

I'm joking. [all laughing]

- So this is the main club house area here guys.

- It's really nice init, Aim. - Have the dance floor area.

You've got your DJ set up in the conservatory area, there.

You've got the whole patio area at the back,

the dance floor, the whole lot.

The bar, the whole works.

- Oh, it's stunning. - Everything for you.

- So I've just gotta few little organising things

I need to just check with you. - Yeah,

that's not problem at all.

- Firstly, pink balloons.

- How many? - Shock!

- Quite a few actually.

Yeah, I think were gonna have like all different shaped

balloons. - A sea of balloons?

- A lot of balloons. - Okay.

- And I need a glittery cake

because it'll just look pretty,

and I'll somebody to sing happy birthday to me.

And I'll need four men to escort me in.

- Right. - And they've gotta be fit!

[upbeat music]

[phone ringing]

- [Lydia] Hello?

- Lyd?

- Hello, James.

- You all right?

- Yeah, you okay?

- Yeah not bad, what you doing?

- [Lydia] Just taking it easy today.

- Yeah, obviously I've given you a few days space now.

Sort of, like, I am missing you and I do love you and stuff.

I mean, what's the plan?

Are you coming to the party?

Are you gonna arrive with me?

Am I meeting you there?

What's going on?

- Well, I'm definitely going to the party,

but don't know what you wanna do?

- What do ya mean? - Do you wanna go with Mark,

like you always do?

- [sighs] Lydia, its not like that.

I wanna go with you.

- It is like that. - I wanna go with you.

- I'm gonna prove to you that I am good boyfriend,

that I do love you and that we'll be fine.

And I will spend as much time with you as possible, okay?

I do miss you, Lyd.

Are you gonna say the same back or?

- All I'm saying is that I don't wanna keep on

putting my heart on the line, James.

If this is how you're gonna be forever,

then I'd just rather you tell me now and I can move on.

You can stop dragging me along,

treat me with a little respect and be nice to me, James.

Treat me like a girlfriend,

not like a piece of crap on your shoe.

- Piece of meat.

- Yeah.

- Okay.

So look, about Harry's party,

do you think its a good idea us arriving together?

Or do you reckon we're better off

just meeting each other in there and having a drink?

- Yeah, think that's best.

- [Arg] What, meet each other in there, yeah?

- I think you need to prove to me

that you can actually be the way you used to be.

Speak to you later, yeah.

[upbeat music]

- Really excited!

Are you?

Why you not saying anything?

[dogs barking]

- [Lauren] Absolutely reeks!

- What have you brought me to?

It stinks!

I thought we was buying a puppy?

- [Lauren] We are.

- Oh my God, that ones about 34.

There on there last legs!

No, I don't want a black and white one.

- He's cute, he's scared.

- That's about the cutest one here.

Looks like me.

- I'm scared, they can't get out can they?

[door clattering]

What they doing?

Really wanna get out.

Stop it.

- They all look like they wanna eat my head off!

[Mark yells] - Ow!

[Mark laughs] Fucking idiot!

[gentle music]

- All right?

- Yeah, you?

- Good, thank you.

You look nice.

What going on with you?

- Well you know what's going on with me.

- [Kirk] I know, just, I dunno, what's going on?

- Well you dumped me, that's what's going on.

- [Kirk] Yeah, I know, I know.

- What else do you expect to be going on?

- Nothing.

I'm sorry.

You know I'm sorry. - For?

- I was just being an idiot.

The way I split up with ya, taking someone else out.

There's nothing in that either.

- So what now?

- I don't know, I'm so confused.

Obviously, there's issues now.

Do you know what I mean?

- Issues with what?

- Obviously, you live with Maria and she hates me,

she's mugging me off to everyone.

And she's someone you hang around with,

she someone you live with.

- Yeah, 'cause she doesn't like you.

- Yeah, you know the reason why she don't like me?

It's 'cause I didn't give her free drink in Sugarhut.

- No, it's because you dumped her mate.

- No, tell me the truth, before that did she like me?

She didn't. - No, you didn't get on,

but she didn't hate you before.

- If I'm with you I wanna get on with your pals and that

and I can't.

The woman is a vicious idiot.

- She just says she wants me to be happy.

- I want you to be happy, so it's up to you.

- Come darling, come through.

[dog barking]

Oh God. [laughs]

- [Lauren] All right.

- Right.

I'll leave you to look at her.

[dogs barking]

- Fucking hell!

What's down there?

- [Lauren] Trudi. [chuckles]

- Whoa, she's gonna bite my ankles.

- [yelps] Where? [laughs]

Where is it?

- Listen, you've come to look at a dog, now look at it.

Get off me!

- Where is it? [laughs] - You idiot!

Don't get you being scared of the dog,

you asked for a little one, there it is

and now you're scared! - I'm scare of it biting.

- This is why we ain't getting a dog,

'cause it'll be me looking after it.

You can't even look at it.

- You look at it!

Trudi, hello. [giggles]

[Mark whistling]

- Trudi, come on!

That thing there ain't gotta clue what its name is,

or its deaf as a bat.

- Hello.

Good girl.

Well you know that I want a little tiny chihuahua

or a teacup Pomeranian or whatever they're called.

- Pomeranian. - Pomeranian.

- You just wanna be like Paris Hilton,

carrying your dog around in a

bag. - No I don't!

I'm nothing like that.

I need a dog or a baby.

- Won't be a baby, let me tell you that.

[Chole laughs]

Gimme a cuddle.

Let's get out of here.

Bye, Trudi!

- [Chole] Bye Trudi.

- [Mark] Bye.

[dog whimpers]

- I know I messed up big time

and there's no way I can turn that back,

and I don't wanna because I was an idiot

and you didn't deserve it.

I do miss you, a lot, I do, I cant stop thinking about you.

- Have you had anyone in here yet?

- Only about a week, not even that!

- Yeah, I know you've had two girls in a week!

- [Kirk] Who?

- Lucy and Chole

- I didn't have two girls in a week.

I need you here in the back.

- That's a long way off now, innit.

- I'm joking, is starting from scratch again?

- Yeah. - Fucking hell.

- Three month rule.

- [Kirk] Give me a cuddle please.

Miss you.

- [Lauren] I've missed you too.

- Everyone's going though, aren't they?

- It was literally the talk of the town.

- [Sam] I know

- Are you not upset that you can't have a drink?

- No, why would I be?

'Cause not being funny, I know I'm 17.

So that's what matters.

- [Sam] It's a shame you cant have a drink,

but you're the kinda person that can go out

and don't need drink to have a good time.

- See, do I. - Yeah, at least I'm having

a good time. - See, we do.

- I have to go out and enjoy myself, having a glass of wine.

- You big piss heads!

[women giggling]

- We are such piss heads.

- What would you do if Mark went and Lauren wasn't there?

- What if Mark come up to you and went,

"Sam, I wanna have a sexy dance with you,"

what would you say?

- [Sam] I'd say, "Can you please go away you're engaged."

[Amy giggling]

- Aw, that is funny.

If anyone starts bitching, anyone starts arguing.

I'm just gonna kick 'em out.

- [Sam] I'm not arguing with no one tonight.

- I know you won't.

But literally, if anyone arguing in my party.

Do you know what I mean?

- [coughs] Mark and Lauren. [giggles]

[coughs] Arg and Lydia.

- No comment.

[all giggling]

- Awkward silence.

- Hi mosh.

- All right?

- [Lauren] Yeah, you?

- Yeah, what happened?

- He's just gotta proper issue with you and I dunno why.

- Do you think it's an issue or an excuse?

Because, he never comes round.

- Well, I did wonder if it was an excuse.

- He wants you to take the focus off him and put it on me,

not that you're gonna do that.

Do you know what I mean?

He's just like, "Oh, yeah, it's Maria."

So all eyes turn on me.

- He is accepting what he did was wrong,

like he's said sorry a million times,

but he's just a funny one ain't he.

- So what you gonna do?

- I don't know.

I do miss him, I still think about him all the time.

- I cant stand him, but I'm not in a relationship with him

and I'm not the one that misses him not being there,

that's you.

So if you're gonna be with him then I haven't gotta problem.

Even if I did have a problem.

- [Lauren] But ideally, I would like my boyfriend

to get on with my mates.

[Maria laughs]

And right now that's not happening.

- That's gonna happen.

- I would at least like you to be in the be room

and not be throwing daggers at each other.

At least a slight bit of friendly chat.

Bit of small talk.

- Yeah.

[upbeat music]

- Oh my God, yeah!

Woo! [laughs]

- Do you like it? - You like it babe?

- Fucking love it!

Oh my God, it's amazing!

Who done this for me?

- We all did. - We all did.

- Thank you.

Oh my God, I love it. - Get in there.

- [Harry] Thank you so much.

[women giggling]

- Hey. - Cheers.

[upbeat music]

[everyone cheering]

- Hi everyone, I wanted to say thank you all for coming.

[everybody cheering]

I wanna say thank you to Darren

for letting us have the hall tonight, it's been lovely.

And also I wanna thank my cousin, Amy,

and my best friend, Sam.

So thank you everyone.

[everyone applauds] [everyone cheering]

[upbeat music]

- All right, Lyd?

- All right, Mark.

- [Mark] Why you not down there partying?

- Dunno, just wanted be up here.

- What's happening with you and Arg?

- Oh my god, don't even start.

- Why, what now? - Don't even start

- What now? - It's just awful

at the moment.

- Why? - You know it is as well.

- Yeah, but I don't know why, that's what I'm asking.

- 'Cause he's always with you the whole time.

I never know what's going on.

- I don't make Argent do anything.

I don't say to Argent, "Come round mine, don't see Lydia."

He does it on his own back,

that's up to him to do it he wants to do.

What I do know is that he loves you more than anything,

and that you love him.

And I just think, you need to both sort it out.

And he has told me, and he said to me promised you

he's gonna start making it up to you.

And I've said to him, "look, maybe, Arg."

'Cause he's been around me and Lauren a lot.

But I just don't know what to say.

- Do you think he's messing around messing around?

Messing me around?

- With girls? - Yeah.

- If he was, obviously, I wouldn't tell you that,

'cause he's my best friend,

but I'm telling you that he's not.

- It's hard, it's such a messed up relationship, right now.

- [Mark] Do you wanna make it up with him?

- [Lydia] I don't know.

- Didn't you absolutely explode at him the other day?

- [Lydia] Yeah.

- But you haven't given him a chance to change since then?

- Yeah, but how many chances can a boy be given?

I'm not giving him as many chances as you've had,

that's for certain.

- Yeah, but so that's like you saying, right.

If you're not gonna give him a chance

then that means you need to completely call it off.

You either need to completely call it off

or give him a chance, you cant just keep him hanging.

[upbeat music]

- Hi, Lucy, you all right?

- [Lucy] Joe, you all right?

- [Joe] You all right?

- Having a good night? - You look nice tonight.

- [Lucy] Oh took my advice, you came as beach boy Ken!

Is that what you are?

- No, I was gonna come as Ken anyway.

So what's going on then, what you been up to?

- Not much.

- [Joe] Seeing Kirk?

- No. - Why not?

- Oh, it was a nightmare, Joey!

Went to dinner with him and Lauren and Maria were there

and Maria just kicked off at me!

- Do you fancy him a little bit?

- [Lucy] No.

- Not at all?

- Do you fancy me?

- [laughs] Joey.

- What? [laughs]

- [Lucy] Dunno what to say to that.

- Yes or no?

- Oh, God.

Yeah.

- Yeah, I can't believe you knocked me twice.

- Well, third time lucky?

- Third time lucky.

Well to be fair, Lucy,

I'm not gonna lie,

I'm interested in another girl now.

- Well why have you come over here and spoke to me? [laughs]

- You sort of the boat, init. - Who is it?

I missed the boat? [laughs]

- Yeah. - Oh, okay, that's fine.

You had a good night anyway?

- Yeah.

So I'll talk to you later, yeah?

See you later.

Bye Joey. [sighs]

[upbeat dance music]

[everyone cheering] [everyone applauding]

[upbeat electronic music]

[everyone cheering]

- All right, Lyds?

- [Lydia] Hi, Arg.

Okay.

- So what did you and Mark talk about?

What did you say?

- I think Mark just gets a bit upset

that I always blame him for everything.

- After the argument the other day I sat back and realised,

"Oh my God, imagine if Lydia wasn't there anymore."

"And imagine if she does think, 'You know what, fuck it Arg,

"I'm gonna move on and fond someone else'."

And that sort off really, really, really scares me.

There's no one else. - I feel like I've lost you.

- I know you feel that way Lydia,

but that's why I'm gonna prove to you

that I can be the same old Arg that you fell in love with

and that treated you well.

And I'm gonna go back to that person.

Because you've been letting me

get away with the way I've been acting,

I've sort of become more cocky, more confident,

thinking, "Oh, I can act this way, get away with it,

"Lydia will still be there."

You're beautiful, Lyd, you look like a princess

and you deserve to be treated like one, okay?

I'm pretty sure you still love me and deep down--

- But I don't know how many chances I can give you, James.

- Well then, we'll just have to agree

that this is the last one.

- Don't know.

- Please?

[Arg sighs]

[everyone cheering]

[everyone cheering]

- Hip hip!

[everyone cheering] [everyone applauding]

[upbeat music]

- All right? - All right.

- [Kirk] How you doing?

- [Maria] All right, how are you?

- I'm all right, just wanna say,

I'm tryna to sort it out with Lauren now.

I really don't like you.

So I just wanna say, obviously, you're mates with Lauren,

there nothing I can

stop with that. - Yeah,

well I'm not your biggest fan Kirk.

- You know why you're not my biggest fan?

You had the hump with me 'cause didn't give you

free drinks in my club.

And you started.

No, listen tell the truth, you got on with me.

- It wasn't about free drinks.

It's not about getting free drinks.

- Really?

Maria, listen, yeah?

You stop acting out - It's not about getting--

- Stop raising your voice. - Stop bringing your club in.

Dropping your club into every single thing you do.

- [Kirk] Shut your fucking mouth, you're acting up, right?

You're a fucking idiot. - Okay.

- You were mates with me

until I didn't give you free drinks.

You're no-one special nor am I.

Were both normal geezers.

I'm gonna try and sort it out

with Lauren. - Geezers?

- You know?

I'm gonna try and sort it out with Lauren.

Can you just leave me alone,

'cause you do get on my nerves a lot.

- Yeah and you get on my nerves Kirk.

I've not coming here to

- Fuck off then. - have an argument with you.

- Well, I wanna have an argument.

- You wanna have an argument?

- [Kirk] Yeah, I do enjoy arguing with you,

'cause I cant stand ya.

- I cant stand you. - Well fuck off then!

- I don't like you because you've finished with, Lauren,

in a public place. - No, no, no, no!

Tell the truth. - In a very disrespectful way.

- Before I broke up with Lauren, you didn't like me.

Before I didn't break up with, Lauren.

- No. - Yeah.

- I didn't like the way you treat her.

You're two people, Kirk. - I'm two people?

See another person now. - You're two people.

- This is the person I am now.

I cant stand you, fuck off.

'Cause get on my nerves. - And this the person you are

most of the time.

That's what I thought, she's too good for you.

[gentle upbeat music]

- Why does he need to argue, why cant he say,

"Okay, we'll leave it?"

- Why are you crying for?

Oh, come here.

I don't want you upset, I don't want anyone upset.

Just deep breath.

- I just.

- [Lauren] You know he's volatile, you know he is.

You've seen it for yourself with me.

- He's just such a prick.

All I did was stick up for you, Lauren.

Yeah, I know, I know that.

You were just sticking up for a mate

and obviously I appreciate that, it's just--

- Yeah, but now everyone's happy families,

and it's just me in a really awkward position.

I just don't like nasty, malicious people,

and that's what I think he is.

- I don't know how we fix this.

- We don't fix it.

We just wait until he messes up next time.

- So why we bringing me out here for?

- I dunno, just talk to ya.

- Why do you fancy me?

- Do you fancy me?

- [laughs] No, I asked you, you idiot.

- I asked you first.

Do you wanna get in it?

- Why do you want me to get in the pool with you?

- I thought you wanted to get in the pool with me? [laughs]

- You're such an idiot

[gentle upbeat music]

[both giggling]

[Joey laughs]

- I'm gonna take this off.

Your hair looks nice. [laughs]

What it does?

- Thanks - I ain't joking.

You gonna gimme a kiss?

- No.

- Why?

Come on, I'll give you one.

- [Narrator] Next time, on "The Only Way is Essex".

Will Lydia forget all the Barney Rubble with Arg?

- Don't know how many chances I can give you James.

- [Narrator] Will Nanny Pat have anymore royal engagements?

Will Lauren Pope put hoes before bros?

- He's just such a prick.

- [Narrator] And will Joey Essex

still be looking reem next week?

- Reem

- [Narrator] Who knows.

These people are real and anything can happen

on "The Only Way is Essex."