All language subtitles for The.Only.Way.Is.Essex.S02E02.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-SLAG_track4_[eng]

and dodgy hairdos.

The tans you see might be fake

but the people are all real,

although some of what they do

has been set up purely
for your entertainment.

[funky pop music]

Previously on "The Only Way is
Essex"

I've found us a flat,

master bedroom, you and me, Arg
loving.

- You need to learn how to
drive.

- I thought you wanted
me to get you a new car.

- Yeah, I do.

- Well go on and get the car.
- Oh mate I sound so spoilt.

- Do you wanna loose weight

or are you happy the way you
are?

- I wanna lose weight.

- You know your boob job?
- Oh my god yeah.

- I'm thinking about getting one
done.

- She don't need her boobs done.

- She's got a lovely pair.

- The doctor I went to said,

"you can have them as big as you
want."

- Why don't you get a handful.

- Yeah baby, are you feelin' it?

- I am feeling it.

- Don't be so saucy you git.

- I know who you're looking for.

- I've started talking to Lauren
again

and I think I'm gonna
take it to the next step.

- What the fuck.

- Yeah I love Essex.

- It's the new LA, I call it.

[funky intro music]

[lighthearted music]

- Oh my god. Is this gonna hurt?

[laser zapping]

[groans]

It really does hurt.

- All right, calm down.
- It really does.

Is it done?

- Yes all done, Mark's just
disappeared.

[everyone laughing]

- How'd you feel?

- Fine.

All done now.

- Good.

It's only taken you nine and a
half years

but, yeah,

got there in the end.
[phone rings]

- [Lauren] Yeah, finally.

[phone ringing]

- It's Mark.

What's he ringing you for?

And I thought it was over.

- It might not be for
him but it is for me.

[lighthearted ukulele music]

[pig snorting]

[sweeping up leafs]

- All of that wet bit, that
is Mr. Darcy's urination.

- Ugh.

- you need to clean it,

he cant live in his urination
can he?

- [Debbie] James! are you
actually doing something?

- Yes!

- James!

- What!

- [Debbie] I'm talkin'.

- Yeah I'm doin' it!

- [Debbie] Yeah well
you're not doing it right,

get right in the corners James.

right in the corner

'cause that's where he does
all his toilets, in the corner.

- I heard you!

Can't stand your mom Lyd.

[Lydia chuckles]

- So what's been happening then?

Have you had any more thoughts
about

what we spoke about the other
day about your boob job or?

- Well yeah, you just made
me feel really bad about it

and until now, you've made me
feel like some sort of slag

or something for getting it
done.

And I feel like--

- Now hold on a minute.

I'll never call you a slag,

you're my sister and I
know you're not that.

I just think, I don't want my
sister

walking out in the street
with a big pair of fake boobs,

and geezers, builders sitting
there with their papers

going, "cool, look at her
bangers."

I just don't want it.

Id rather you be the
sophisticated girl

walking along the street how you
are.

It's not like you've got two
fried eggs.

Do you ever think about LOLA?

Will you fit into the band?

- Yeah. LOLA are really
for me getting it done.

They think it's great, you know.

They're up for boob jobs, it's
not like they're against it.

- Talking of LOLA, what is
happening?

I mean, as soon as I've gone out
the loop

and you've sacked me as
manager, looking after your...

You called me a booking agent,

'cause you didn't think I
was capable of being manager

which obviously I weren't
'cause you sacked me.

I booked you in places
you was getting gigs

- Yeah.

- And Since I've kinda stepped
down

you've had another manager and--

- Yeah, they're amazing.

- Right, okay.

You've got the management now so
what,

where are you taking it? I
mean--

- We're working hard,

I'm working hard everyday
you just don't know that

'cause you don't ever care,

all you care about is what
you're doing.

You don't really, you don't know
my life.

- I'm just saying to you,

does it get to a point where you
think?

Are we gonna make it, are we
not?

What am I gonna do?

When does that point come when
you think

is it gonna happen, isn't it?

- Hopefully we're gonna
get where we wanna get

but you don't get anywhere
overnight by not trying.

- Well maybe you should try a
bit harder?

- What do you mean try a bit
harder, Mark?

- I'm sitting here thinking

if you don't start pulling
your finger out now

then its gonna be too late.

- I'm working really hard.

- Well its obviously
gotta be a bit harder,

and if not then you've
gotta sit there and go.

"is it gonna happen?"
- Yeah.

- 'Cause like you just said,

if it don't happen now then
it's never gonna happen,

you just said that to me
yourself.

- You have no idea.

You don't know how hard I work.

You don't know that
everyday I'm in the studio.

You know how much I want it,

how can you just sit there and
go--

- I know you want it, but Jess,

but I'm just trying to
give you encouragement.

- Yeah but you don't
know, you never care Mark.

All you are is negative,

you're negative about my boob
job,

you've made me feel like an
idiot

and now you're negative about
LOLA.

What do you know?

- Why are you crying?

- 'cause I've had enough.

I've just had enough of your
shit.

- I'm just tryna give you
advice.

- Yeah, well give it to someone
else.

[Jessica walks away]

[Mark sighs deeply]

- [Gemma] When me and my friends
go out,

we have got this secret dance
between us.

And we do this little theme tune
to it

and when we're doing it we
just know it's just our dance.

- Yeah, like I know my
cousin, I got him to do that.

An interpretive dance project.

- Oh my god.

- So listen, I thought, why
not do a dance about Essex?

[both women gasping]

- Harry, that is gonna be
fantastic.

- You need the lip gloss, you
need the pout, you need to...

- In Essex we all like to
swoosh our hair a bit don't we?

- It's all about the swish.
- Tie the hair up.

- So it has to be,

naturally it would be
like this wouldn't it?

like that.

- [Amy] Do it more.

- But in the dance
world it'd be like this.

Like that, wouldn't it?

- And then the hand on the
hip applying the gloss.

- [Harry] Hundred percent.

Hair flick, lip gloss,

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- [Harry] Boobs.
- Really do the lip gloss.

- A five, six, seven, eight.

- Ames should we do that?

- Two.

[harry imitating lip gloss
smearing]

- Pow!

- [Gemma] Pow!
- [Amy] Ooh!

- It's good, isn't it.
- [Amy] High five.

- [Gemma] Pow!

Pow!

[lighthearted acoustic guitar]

- [Nicola] [mumbles].

- [Lauren] Hello.
- Hello, are you all right?

- [Lauren] I'm all right, how
are you?

- Yeah, not bad. Fancy seeing
you here.

- I know! Where you going?
- You look nice.

- I'm just about to go
for lunch, how about you?

- I just got my Mark tattoo
removed.

- Did you?
- [Lauren] Yeah.

- Are you joking?

- No.
- [Jessica] Oh my god.

Think that it's really
good that you've done that.

- [Lauren] Yeah, do you?

- Yeah.
- I do as well.

[all three women laughing]

- I bet you do.

- Yeah, I dunno how he's
gonna take it though.

- Probably not very well but,

he's getting on my nerves
anyway at the minute so,

he's not on my team.
- [Nicola] As usual.

- It just sucks for me I think,

more of like a fresh start.

- Closure then.

You want closure there.

- Oh my god.

We'll see what happens.

- I'll see you later girls.

- See you later.

- Bye.
- Bye.

[upbeat country music]

- It's confusing the whole
thing.

I just don't get it.

- You've just got to read
through it bit by bit

and learn it, revise it.

- And have you actually
ever taken any lessons?

- [Arg] Yeah.

- A 110.

- No 35, like I told you last
night, 35.

- [Lydia] And five theory tests.

- Five theory tests?

[chuckles]

five?!
- [Arg] It was more like four.

- [Debbie] I don't know
anybody in the whole world

that's failed their theory.

How about if I take you out?

- I couldn't think of anything
worse to be honest with you.

[everyone laughs]

- I've just been so busy with
everything,

I'm glad you've come in today,

but I needed to try it out on
you

I've just been rushed off my
feet, it's not even a joke.

- Do you know what Ames, it's
time you got an assistant.

You need to step back
from the spray tan gun

and let Harry have a go maybe?

- Actually, no, I'd be
quite a good assistant.

- The thing is though Gem,

he's my cousin, I love
him more than anything

but I need someone who's
got a clue about things so--

- Let's test him.

- Okay, sell me a pedicure.

Sell it to me and Gemma right
now.

- See, with a pedicure,

it's not just about sitting
there having your feet rubbed.

It's about the relax sensation

and you need this to
keep your feet on the go.

If you don't have this
your feet can wear out,

do you know that?

[Amy and Gemma giggling]

You feel down all the time
so just have a nice pedicure.

- But you couldn't say
to someone they, came in,

"oh my god you've got dirty
feet, you've got a dirty body,"

they'd laugh at you wouldn't
they?

- See, no they wouldn't.

They'd respect that for telling
the truth.

[Amy and Gemma giggling]

- Harry, I'm really not, I
dunno, I'm 50/50 at the minute.

- Amy please, please, please,
please give me this job.

I think I can do it.

- All right then Harry just to
shut you up

I will give you a trial run, all
right?

- Aw, thanks Ame.

- That's all right babe.

- Come on Ame, just take us a
kiss.

- Okay.

Don't let me down.

- [Harry] All right big girl.

[everyone giggles]

[mellow music]

- How weird was that
bumping into Jess like that?

- Yeah I know, especially
after what I've just had done.

- Well I just think its really
good that you've done it now

'cause that just means that
that's it,

there's no more going back.

I just think that he was
just a big mistake really

for the last 9 years.

And it's good that you're moving
on and

you could do better really.

- I filtering it now, I'm not
bothered.

I'll be civil to him but--

- I don't believe you for a
second.

- That's what I'm saying, that's
fine,

'cause everyone judges our
relationship,

that's what I'm used to for the
whole time

but I don't need him anymore

- [Nicola] No.

[car engine rumbling]

- [Debbie] Right.

- [Arg] Yes.

- Our handbrake, foot on the
accelerator,

check your mirrors,
always check your mirrors.

- [Arg] Checking the mirrors.

See you later Lydia.

- [Lydia] Okay, good luck.

- Bye darling, love you.

- [Lydia] Bye, love you too.

- [Debbie] Keep going.

James, go over this side, this
side.

James, be careful just do it
steadily!

Car revving]

[lighthearted upbeat music]

- Why'd you come back after
storming off with the hump?

- There's something important
that

I thought I'd have to tell you.

- What's that.

- You know the other night
how you were saying to me

how you were thinking about her

when I caught you looking
for her in the club?

- We're talking about Lauren
here right?

- [Jessica] Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Well I just saw her
and I was chatting away,

I saw her and her sister and I
said,

"what have you been
doing" and she was like,

"oh, I just went and
got my tattoo removed."

- Shut up.

- [Jessica] Yeah.

- What, the "Mark" tattoo?

- Yeah, she got it removed.

- For fuck sake.

- To be honest if I
had a tattoo of a bloke

and then we split up

then I wouldn't want a tattoo
of some blokes name on me.

- But we've split up a couple
of times and she's kept it.

I got with Lucy and she kept it.

- [Jessica] Well maybe
this time she means it.

[upbeat pop music]

- [Billie] I see you talking to
Mark?

- Oh god, I haven't told you
have I?

- No.

- It actually really upset me.

Don't you feel gutted about
something

but you don't know how to react?

- How to react, yeah.

- But you know what I'm like,

there and then I was
just like right oh my god

and just sort of put on a smile,

then as soon as I walked
away I was like, phew,

I dunno just horrible.

I just kept thinking about it
over and over again in my head

you know, thinking like
okay, he said that,

sort of a weight off of my
shoulders.

I think, okay maybe it
was never gonna happen.

I woke up this morning and
there's a message from him

on my phone saying that I
hope we can be friends still,

and he's like I love you
and sleep well. Why do that?

- Why?

Why does he do that?

This is what really annoys me.

it's like he's playing games
with you.

it's almost as like he wants you
there,

at his beck and call when its up
to him.

- I know this is going to sound
really mad

and you're going to be like, "oh
no."

I think, I feel like I love him.

But I won't admit it to myself.

- Aww,

Are you upset?

- A bit.

[lighthearted mystery music]

- What?

- It's mark.

- Oh, no.

- Hi

- Hi, what are you doing here?

- I've come to see you.

- Why?

- So we can have a chat.

- About?

- You'll find out.

Come on lets go somewhere
private.

- Oh I'm just having a
drink with my sister.

- [Mark] But I'd really
appreciate

if you can come for a chat.

[Lauren laughs]

- All right quickly then, yeah?

- [Mark] Come on.

- I'll leave my bag there
actually.

[Nicola sighs]

- All right.

- All right, what's the matter?

- I wanted to come and talk to
ya,

I've been thinking loads
about you and stuff.

And I'm just in my head all the
time,

And I'm hearing things and
seeing you're not speaking to
me.

And it just makes me think
why after all this time,

and after all these breaks ups,

why do I still feel the need to

come back to you and talk to
you.

Still go to bed every night
thinking

maybe I've made a mistake.

I've treated you badly,

and I hold my hands up to that.

I wanna be able to have
the chance to show you

that I don't treat you bad.

And I heard that you've
had your tattoo removed,

which really, really, affected
me

and you know how much that means
to me.

I don't why it does mean so much
to me,

it might be something, it might
be ridiculous but it does.

Basically I just wanna take
this moment to say that

I love you so much.

I've tried to see other girls on
breaks

when me and you weren't
together and it just don't work,

it don't feel the same.

And

I dunno,

I just wanna ask you something.

- What?

[Lauren laughs]
- Give me your hand.

- Oh my god.

Why are you doing this now?

- Because I want to.

- Why?

- Will you marry me?

- I don't know.

How do I know that you're
gonna stick to your word?

- I'm being deadly serious.

- I'm just scared of being hurt.

- And I'm making a promise to
you I'm not,

and this is the promise.

I can treat you right and it is
true love.

- Okay.

- Is that a yes?
- Yeah.

I'm so scared.

[clown music]

- Indicate right in there,
James.

That's the windscreen wipers,
James.

Right.

James, be careful!

Go on put your foot right
down on the accelerator now.

James!

- [Arg] Car its like Lewis
Hamilton!

- [Debbie] James!

[clown music]

[laughs]

- God!

- I don't even know why
we're bothering, Debbie.

[lighthearted background music]

- See you later on yeah.
- [Lauren] See you later.

- [Mark] See you later Nic.
- See ya.

- [Mark] Bye.

- [Lauren] All right.

- So what happened.

- Just had a little chat.

- And?

[Lauren chuckles]

- He asked me to marry him.

- Are you having a fucking
laugh?

[Lauren laughs]

- Are you having a laugh?

- No.

- And what, you said yes?

- Yeah.

- Are you mad?

- Maybe, but I think we do love
each other

and everyone knows it.

- Hold on, hold on, hold on.

What conversation did we
just have five minutes ago?

- I know, I know, I know.

- And now you're marrying him?

Your relationship is so
abnormal.

[Lauren laughs]

you need to get your head
tested, you're mental.

- Maybe.

- [Amy] Oh shut up!

- Do you like it?

- It is lovely.

- Its pink, 'Cause it's a pink
salon

and I'm representing the brand.

- You look professional, Harry.

Very professional.
- I do, don't I.

- You've gotta win me over then,
Harry.

Your first thing that I want you
to do.

- [Harry] Yeah?

- [Amy] you've gotta Vijazzle
Gemma.

- Oh shut up! Vijazzling Gemma?

- Oh my god, Amy, thanks a lot.

- [Amy] Are you happy doing a
Vijazzle?

- Its probably the nearest
I've ever gone to a vag but...

[women giggling]

All right, then so--

- It doesn't bit, Harry.

- Good, that's what I like to
hear.

- It's not a hairy growler.

- no way, totally not.

- [Harry] That's what I like to
her babe.

So, Vijazzle it on?

- Yeah, it's all about the

[laughter drowns out the
speaker]

- [Debbie] I need to speak to
you now

'cause we're on our own without
Lydia.

I've known you for 3 years
now and you talk a good talk

but when it actually
comes down to doing things

you're absolutely hopeless.

So I need you to take on
responsibility,

[car engine rumbling]

and learning to drive is the
first way forward isn't it?

Windscreen wipers James.

Isn't it?

- [Arg] Yes.
- [Debbie] Okay.

[funky hip hop music]

- [Kirk] Go on, one more for
luck.

- [Mick] Sure I will.
- Sure dad?

- Your gonna need some
help in a minute son.

- [Kirk] Is that all?

- That's me warming
up, it's me warming up.

Yeah anyway, I meant to say to
you,

you know the other night
in the club, that Chloe?

- Yeah, the one with the
[makes whistling gestures]

- With a nice catsuit on, yeah?

What'd you think of that?

- Smokin' yeah, she's hot.

Green eyes as well, I remember--

- [Mick] Easy, easy tiger,
you're with Lauren aint ya?

- Yeah, yeah I know.

I dunno, she's nice.

- Yeah I like her.

I think she's cool.

- You know that Lucy girl
from the other night?

- Yeah.

- [Joey Essex] I proper
liked the way she looked.

- Yeah I thought you did.

- She kept looking at me the
whole night

and all I've done is stared into
her eyes

and give her a little wink.

That's all I've done.

But I'll get her number somehow.

I'll a ring her or a text or
whatever,

and I'll just say it's Joey
Essex.

- Just get her number and take
her out.

- No, I do wanna take her on a
date, 100%.

- Yeah, but take her on a proper
date

she seems like a really nice
girl.

- [Joey Essex] No, I will.

I aint gonna take liberty out of
her.

- So did I get the job?

- No babe, you haven't got the
job.

Are you a bit devvoed?

- Mm

- I just need someone with
a bit more experience.

- And I was shit anyway.

- On a serious note I do
need to get an assistant.

- Yeah, you maybe do an
advert on the internet?

- I'm gonna do an advert,

I'm gonna find out what I'm
gonna put in,

maybe young, wants to learn.

- They gotta be glamorous.

- They've gotta be glamorous,
they've gotta be fun,

they've gotta have a
brilliant personality.

- Yeah.

- Sort of looks up to me.

- Yeah.

[phone ringing]

- Hmm, don't know that number.

- Who is it?

- Hello?

- Hi Chloe, this is Mick
here from the other night?

- Yeah, I remember.

- I'm in the gym having a quick
work out.

I was just thinking of a few
things over the last few days

and I've met a few people,
one of them being yourself

and obviously you're stunning
beautiful.

And I was thinking of maybe we
could

do something together in our
business?

And I was just wondering if
you're interested in my proposal

and we get together and have
a drink and talk about it?

- Yeah, okay, Cool.

- Would that be all right?

- Business though or do
you mean like a date?

- Just business really,

but we'll have a chat when
we see each other about it,

we'll have a drink and
we'll talk about it, yeah?

- All right, then, cool.

- Nice speaking to ya.

- And you, bye-bye.

Bye.

- Who was it, who was it?

- Mick.

- What?!

- You know the other night,
I told you I met Kirk?

- Yeah?

- That's his dad.

- What, did he ask you for a
date?

- No, he just said he wants
to have a business meeting.

- Yeah but that Mick he owns a
club,

he must be a millionaire.

- Yeah, so?

- So get with him,

you don't need to work
for the rest of your life!

- Listen, I don't need a
millionaire with grey hair.

I'm fine thanks.

- That's the only way I'm
letting you get with him.

He's a millionaire, that's the
only way.

- You're taking her out for a
drink,

I think its a bit weird.

- What's weird about that?

- Um.

- Why's that weird, I'm taking
somebody out for a drink?

- She's more my age aint she?

- How old is she?

- Younger than 30.

- Well there's nothing wrong
with that.

Men should be older than
women, shouldn't they?

- Not by, like a whole...

- Country mile?

It's not that far is it?

- It's long dad, it's weird.

- Anyway I'm going there
to talk about business.

- Normally business things
you put me in charge of,

but now when this business
means it's got a pair of boobs?

- Nah.
- You've done it.

I just think the whole thing is
weird.

- You think we're gonna be
cosying up

at the bar or something?

You was looking that girl up
and down the other night like,

with her big green eyes
and the little comments

and the twinkle in your
eye, drop all that out mate.

That's why I'm having the
meeting and you're not having
it.

- [Debbie] It's just ridiculous
how

[other speakers drown out
Debbie]

- I thought it went really well.

- I just can't believe it

- James, it didn't go really
well.

I kept saying slow down,

he kept taking his hand off the
wheel

and saying that he's
driving like Lewis Hamilton.

- James, that's not funny.

Driving is a serious thing,

you shouldn't muck about with
it.

- And the thought of you
getting in the car with him.

I wouldn't sleep at night,
James.

- That's over exaggerating.

- [Debbie] She is my precious
daughter

and I need you to take
some responsibility for her

and that isn't taking
responsibility.

So anyway I've just
gotta put the kettle on

I'm in such a state Lydia.

- Fancy some biscuits?

- James!
- James!

- [Jessica] Oh god.

You know when you put fake tan
on

and it comes off really badly?

- Well did you not do what
that lady told you to do

about a dish washing tablet?

- Oh yeah.

- That gets the tan off of your
hands.

- No.

- Well that's a good tip that
was.

I was gonna save it for my book.

[women laughing]

- All right.

- All right.
- All right.

- How you's doing?

- All right.

- Where you been?

- Just out and about.

I was gonna talk to you
actually about where I've been

- Oh god, what now?

- Obviously it took a lot
of courage to say this

and took a lot of courage
to do what I've done,

probably the most nerve
wracking bit about this

is coming round here to tell
yous lot.

Today I asked Lauren if she'd
marry me.

[Jessica laughs]

- What?

- You're joking.

Are you sure?

- No, I did.

[Jessica laughs]

- [Jessica] You're joking.

- No, I did.

- You are obviously joking.
- You're really joking.

- I'm not joking.

- [Jessica] You're being
serious?

- I'm being serious.
- Is this a joke?

- Nah, I'm being serious.

- What did she say?

- She said yeah.

She hesitated at first, she said
okay

and then she just said yeah.

- You've gotta think about this
you know.

- Are you serious? I can't
believe it.

- [Mark] I've thought
about it for a long time.

- Is he serious?
- I don't know.

- Listen, I wouldn't come around
here,

put myself out to come round
here--

- [Carol] I think you're
mucking about, Mark.

- [Mark] Well I'm not mucking
About.

- I just think you've
gotta think about it.

If you're happy and you think
this is the right thing to do

then go ahead, but you're too
young!

- Well.,I'm not gonna
get married tomorrow.

I'm not gonna get married
overnight.

it might be a long process,

but I wanna give her that
commitment,

I think she deserves that
after the way I've been.

If anything changes

and I don't feel the same way
in 2 weeks, 2 years, 2 months,

then I can just say look,
it's not working out.

- [Jessica] Can I say one thing?

What I'm scared of is that

I've told you she's
got the tattoo removed,

and in a panic, and heat of the
minute,

you've thought, that's it!

I'm gonna propose to get her.

- I already had the ring.

- [Jessica] That's not the
right reasons to propose.

- [Mark] I already had the ring.

- Well, I mean, mark, you know
what,

I just hope you're doing the
right thing,

and if you are, I'm happy for
you.

But I'm just looking out
for you and I'm worried.

- Yeah I appreciate that.

- Congratulations.

- Yeah, congratulations Mark.

But give me plenty of time
so that I can buy me new hat

for time for the wedding,
alright?

[upbeat outro music]

- [Arg] Tell you what.

Lydia's mum is doing my head in.

I'm not looking after the pig
enough,

I'm not abiding by the
rota that she's done

for the cleaning of the pig,

my driving lessons, I've
gotta pass my driving test,

I've gotta do my theory test,

I'm not responsible enough for
Lydia,

I've put on too much weight,

I can't look after her daughter.

I tell you what, she is a
mother in law from hell.

I cant take her anymore, Mark--

- Are you finished.
- She's like a witch.

- You finished?

- Huh?
- You finished?

I gotta tell you something.

- Okay.

What?

- Don't look too scared.

- What is it?

- I proposed to Lauren.

[Arg laughs]

- Why? When? And how and why
didn't you tell me about it?

- Well I'm telling you now.

- I didn't think you were gonna
do it.

- I'm telling you now.

- Did she say? Obviously she
said yes?

- Yeah.

- Of course man.

What!

So you two are actually engaged?

- Yeah.

[Arg laughs]

It's not, you know, what's it
called

[Arg laughs]

You now everyone makes
such a big deal about it.

Yeah it's a big deal for me,
and I've took that next step

but is it really that big of a
deal?

- Well, yeah because it feels
like

it's coming out of nowhere.

You have had these little break
ups,

and you weren't properly
with her at the moment

so to me its like whoa.

I cant believe your engaged.

I never thought I'd see the day.

[Arg and Mark laughing]

- Amy Childs must have,
a beautiful assistant.

you cant have no one coming
in here and they're ugly.

- They cant be ugly, they cant
be spotty,

because we need to represent
the salon don't we?

It needs to be a mini Amy
Childs.

They've gotta be into,

- Lip fillers.
- Lip fillers.

they've gotta be into boob
jobs, they've gotta be into,

- Cheek implants.
- Cheek implants.

They've got to love the colour
pink.

- Imagine if their favourite
colour was like, blue.

- That's a swear word to me

[Amy giggles]

- That's disgusting.

[women speaking in hushed tones]

- You two aren't gonna believe
this.

- [Lydia] What?
- [Debbie] What?

- I thought I've had enough
crap for one day from you two,

but this tops that.

- [Debbie] What?
- [Lydia] What?

- What, James?!

- All right, wait!

Mark and Lauren,

- What?

- Just got engaged.

- Shut up!

- No!

- Yeah, Mark asked her.

- Oh my god! Lydia!

- No!
- No!

- But are they even together?

- I don't know.

He just told me, he just went,

"Arg I've felt like this
for a little while now."

- James!

- I know.

- Don't get any ideas.

She don't want a ring on her
finger James.

[Lydia laughs]

- Oh my god!

- It just don't sound right,
does it?

- [Debbie] It don't.

It don't sound right.

- My sister's fuming.

[laughs]
- Is she? What did she say?

- She just went, "excuse
me, get me a vodka now."

[laughs]

- Did she?
- Yeah.

- That's the one that I'm
scared of most, your sister.

- She said, "I hope it's all
right."

She goes, she wants me to be
happy.

She went, "oh no, there's
gonna be little Marks

running around Essex girls."

- Mm, not yet.

[Lauren laughs]

- She went, "dads better
lock up their daughters

[both laughing]

I went no.

- Imagine we had triplets, three
of me.

- Yeah, they'll be lovely,
sweet and beautiful.

[both laughing]

[funky deep bass music]

- [Mick] Are you all right?

Nice to see ya.

You're tall, blimey.
- Thanks for inviting me out.

- That's all right.

- Champagne, goody!

- Champagne is that
what you like champagne?

- Yep.

- You look like you like
champagne,

let me just put a little
bit more in there for you.

- You know how to treat a lady.

- I try to, don't I.

[chloe giggles]

Anyway the reason for coming
out,

obviously we've spoke,
about a business proposal.

We're gonna be hosting a model
show

and you was talking about
doing modelling the other day.

- Yeah.

so I thought maybe you
wanna come and have a look

and work with us doing something
that suits what you do.

You could be the face
of it or fronting it up,

front of the house or whatever.

- Yeah I totally would,
that sounds so exciting.

- That is exciting, yeah.

- Yeah thank you, I'd love to.

- Good.

- Definitely the centre of
attention.

- Centre of attention?
You like that do ya?

- I'm not a behind the
scenes kind of girl.

- You're not.

No, you are up front, that is
you.

All right, would you
be pleased about that?

- Yeah.

- Definitely interested?
- Definitely, yeah.

- Well I'll drink to that.

- Yeah, cheers.
- Cheers.

[funky base thumping music]

- [Arg] Congratulations, Mark.

- Cheers, son.

- Or should I say groom,
or groom to be or whatever?

I think we need some champagne
don't we?

The cheapest one you got though,
yeah?

[both laughing]

- Can we get two for the
girls as well please?

Thank you.

- Yeah, so now I just wanna
get a big night organised,

a girls night.

- Yeah we'll have to celebrate.

- Yeah.

- And really you think
now that this is it,

he's really gonna mature up and

he's never gonna mess you around
again?

- Well, this is what he's told
me, so

hopefully he's gonna stick
to his word, you know?

- Fingers crossed.

- Fingers crossed!

- I'm so excited Lauren,
let me see your ring again.

Oh my gosh!

- I know.

This isn't the one.

Mark proposed with another one.

- He proposed with another one?

- Yeah, 'cause he wanted
one to propose with,

but this is the one I chose
'cause I think its more classy.

- [Lydia] Oh it's beautiful.

- [Lauren] I know!

[lighthearted upbeat music]

[laughter]

- Wow, oh my god, I've got the
biggest gossip to tell you.

I was walking through and I
see Mark sitting on the sofa

on his own and he was like,
"oh I wanna tell you this

'cause I do respect you
and you mean a lot to me,

I need to tell you this."

and he said, "I've proposed to
Lauren."

[women laughing]

- Good luck to her, that's all I
can say.

- I just don't see how he thinks

by putting a ring on Lauren's
finger

he's going to change his ways.

It's like he's deluded,
absolutely deluded.

- He is.

- I think Mark plays games.

- [Sam] Mind games.
- It's just another mind game.

- I think you two both had a
lucky escape.

- [Group] Cheers!

- Would you like to go and find
a seat?

- Yeah, come on lets do it.

- But you know what, Lauren's
gonna think she has won

but I actually think
she is the biggest loser

from this situation 'cause she's
stuck with Mark Wright then

for the rest of her life.

Someone who will cheat on her,

he's gonna build all Lauren's
hopes up

and then he'll shatter them all
again.

- [Billie] Ohhh, look.

- All right, hi.

- Hello.

How are you? You all right?

- Yeah good thank you.

- [Sam] You all right?
- [Lauren] You all right?

- [Sam] Nic! You look lovely.

- All good.

- How are you?

- [Nicola] Yeah, good.

[Billie giggling]

- Go on then lets have a cheers.

- Cheers to Mark and Lauren.

- [Group] Cheers.

- To love.

- [Mark] Cheers.

- A bit awkward.

[everyone laughs]

- [Billie] I'm not gonna
lie, it's a bit awkward.

[everyone laughs]

- I see Lauren's got one
of my dresses on tonight,

looks nice.

- [Lauren] Oh, Forever Unique,
yeah.

do you still work there?

- Mh-hmm

- [Lauren] Oh you do?
- Yeah.

- Where is it in London?

- Yeah, the West End.

Let's see the ring then Lauren.

Oh, that's nice.

- [Lauren] Thank you.
- [Lucy] Above work.

[both women giggling]

- It's all right.

- Lovely.

- You should see the one he
actually proposed with though,

it was literally like that big.

- I had to get her a temporary
ring

'cause I didn't know what she
wanted, then we went out and--

- Oh, what a prime out special.

[everyone laughs]

Nah, It was of them machines

[crowd chattering]

- [Arg] Ah, this is nice.

[everyone laughs]

- I'm gonna go and get a drink,
all right?

Okay.

[crowd chattering]

[upbeat music in the background]

- I'll be back in a sec.

- All right, Lauren.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Congratulations, firstly.
- Thank you.

- [Lucy] Are you happy?

- Yeah, I'm happy, yeah.

It was a bit of a shock but I'm
happy.

- Aww, that makes it harder.

I know we don't see eye to eye
anyway

but I've gotta say it.

- Yeah.

- Basically, I'm not proud
of it or anything but,

a couple of weeks ago

I spent the night with Mark.

- I appreciate you
saying it and stuff but,

what happened yesterday,
it's a new beginning.

- That's fine Lauren, and I'm
not tryna,

and there's nothing that I'm
saying now

is tryna to break you up,
because I don't want to.

As far as I was concerned I'm
single

and I thought he was single.

- Two weeks ago you slept with
her?

No?

Well you need to...

- [Mark] You're an idiot for
saying that,

you embarrass yourself.

- [Lucy] I'm not proud of it
Mark.

I'm not happy about doing this,

but its not fair for
someone to be proposed to

and then a few before you've
been with another girl.

- [Mark] Number one--
- [Lucy] It's not fair.

- [Mark] Number one it--
- [Lucy] It's not fair.

- [Mark] Number one, that
night where you wanted

to come back to me,

it wasn't a few weeks ago.

Number two, me and her weren't
even talking then because

she wouldn't have nothing,
shouldn't even be involved

in this conversation.
- Good luck.

- [Mark] So,

you might as well stop the
subject now

'cause you not gonna win

'cause you're wrong with the--

- It's not about winning, Mark.

- Well don't say it then,
just keep your mouth shut.

- [Lucy] It's not about winning.

- [Mark] Just keep your mouth
shut.

And you don't need to talk about
it do ya.

- [Lucy] It's the fact
that you're just ruining

too many peoples lives.

- [Mark] No I'm not.

Ruining your life?

I was seeing you for a month.

- You enjoy fucking with girls
heads,

that's what's sick about you.
- [Mark] No I don't.

- [Arg] I think we should
all call it a night.

[mellow music]

- That girl, that stupid girl.

- Gimme a kiss, can I have
another kiss.

- [Narrator] Next time on
"The Only Way is Essex"

Will Mark actually take
Lauren up the aisle?

Can Amy really find her mini me?

And will Kirk do the business
with Chloe?

And will Joey's hair actually
ever move?

Who knows? These people are real

- [Debbie] James! Be
careful just do it steadily!

- [Narrator] And anything can
happen on

"The Only Way is Essex."

[laughing]