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1
00:00:05,701 --> 00:00:07,572
Hey, Calvin.
2
00:00:07,616 --> 00:00:09,183
Any news about
Malcolm's job interview?
3
00:00:09,226 --> 00:00:11,707
Eh, not yet.
Haven't heard anything.
4
00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:13,230
Oh, my God, it is killing me.
5
00:00:13,274 --> 00:00:14,666
I couldn't sleep a wink
last night.
6
00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:16,973
I know. I got your texts
7
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,410
at 2:00, 3:00 and 4:00 a.m.
8
00:00:20,846 --> 00:00:22,544
Look, I'm trying not
to worry about it too much.
9
00:00:22,587 --> 00:00:24,763
Oh, yeah, totally, duh.
10
00:00:24,807 --> 00:00:27,201
What was I thinking?
11
00:00:27,244 --> 00:00:29,290
But it has got to be
killing you.
12
00:00:30,465 --> 00:00:32,206
I mean, it is an epic
story to be the father
13
00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:34,512
of a son who almost
made it to the majors,
14
00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:38,081
only to suffer a
career-ending injury
15
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:41,084
and then be
rudderless for years.
16
00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:42,607
But now he's back.
17
00:00:42,651 --> 00:00:44,392
He's ready to
carve out a path,
18
00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:45,610
but who knows
doing what?
19
00:00:47,525 --> 00:00:48,918
You know,
I never actually thought
20
00:00:48,961 --> 00:00:50,746
I'd hear myself
say this, but...
21
00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:52,704
Dave, can we just
talk about you?
22
00:00:53,749 --> 00:00:55,881
Oh, y-yeah, totally.
Of-of course.
23
00:00:55,925 --> 00:00:57,318
What about me?
Well...
24
00:00:57,361 --> 00:00:58,884
I'm just so nervous
about Malcolm!
25
00:00:59,929 --> 00:01:01,670
Look.
26
00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:03,411
This is his first interview
in a while.
27
00:01:03,454 --> 00:01:04,803
We're not even sure
if he's gonna get it.
28
00:01:04,847 --> 00:01:07,328
So, when he gets here,
let's just play it cool.
29
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:08,764
Yeah.
All right?
30
00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,983
Hey, guys.Did you get it?
31
00:01:11,027 --> 00:01:13,160
Did you get it? Come on, now.
Spit it out, boy.
32
00:01:13,203 --> 00:01:14,204
Pop. I got the job.
33
00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:15,640
Yeah! All right.Yes!
34
00:01:15,684 --> 00:01:16,685
Okay.Come on...
35
00:01:16,728 --> 00:01:18,774
Here we go.
36
00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,648
Dave, excuse me.Oh.
37
00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:25,433
Gosh. I'm-I'm sorry.
38
00:01:25,476 --> 00:01:28,044
All right.All right.
39
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,002
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
40
00:01:30,046 --> 00:01:31,352
♪ Welcome to the hood.
41
00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:40,230
Hey, everybody.
Listen to Malcolm.
42
00:01:40,274 --> 00:01:42,537
Well, turns out...He got the job!
43
00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:46,149
Oh, my God! He got the job!
Oh, baby!
44
00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:49,196
I am so proud of you.
I knew you could do it.
45
00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:50,675
Aw, thanks, Ma, I appreciate it.
46
00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:52,373
Yeah, man, congrats.
47
00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:54,418
Now you can pay me back
that 50 bucks you owe me.
48
00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:55,593
Man...
49
00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:57,378
But seriously, congrats.
50
00:01:57,421 --> 00:01:58,683
But seriously, 50 bucks.
51
00:01:58,727 --> 00:01:59,945
Get out of here, man.
52
00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:02,687
This is big, Malcolm.Mm-hmm.
53
00:02:02,731 --> 00:02:04,559
I mean, you're putting
yourself back out there
54
00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:06,517
and years from now, you're gonna
look back on this day
55
00:02:06,561 --> 00:02:08,389
as a turning point
in your life.Mm-hmm.
56
00:02:08,432 --> 00:02:10,565
Look, I don't know, Pop,
y'all are making too big
57
00:02:10,608 --> 00:02:12,349
a deal out of this, man.
58
00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:14,395
I am selling TVs
at Powerhouse Electronics.
59
00:02:14,438 --> 00:02:16,179
I'm not pitching
in the World Series.
60
00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:19,182
Look, son. I know
this is not your dream job.
61
00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:21,271
But it doesn't mean
that this can't be
62
00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:23,012
a stepping stone
to something real.
63
00:02:23,055 --> 00:02:25,449
I mean, with your smarts,
and your work ethic,
64
00:02:25,493 --> 00:02:27,277
in a couple years,
you could be working yourself
65
00:02:27,321 --> 00:02:28,278
up the corporate ladder.
66
00:02:28,322 --> 00:02:29,540
I don't know, Pop.
67
00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:31,194
I've never worked
in sales before.
68
00:02:31,238 --> 00:02:32,587
Well, you're in luck.
69
00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:35,372
I mean, I've had my auto shop
for 30 years.
70
00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:38,810
I could teach you all about
the ABC's of sales.
71
00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:41,639
Always Be Calvin.
72
00:02:43,728 --> 00:02:45,208
You mean,
be grouchy
73
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:47,210
and always forget
to put the toilet seat down?
74
00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:49,430
N-No, babe.
75
00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:50,561
Be confident.
76
00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:52,433
Be charming.Mm-hmm.
77
00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:54,565
And always make it about
the customer's needs.
78
00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:57,002
This customer
79
00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:58,874
really needs you
to put the toilet seat down.
80
00:03:00,832 --> 00:03:03,531
Okay, babe.
Okay.
81
00:03:03,574 --> 00:03:06,055
Look, I'm-a show you
how it's done, all right? Marty.All right.
82
00:03:06,098 --> 00:03:07,491
Huh?Pretend to be
a customer.
83
00:03:07,535 --> 00:03:09,493
MARTY:
Oh, sure.
84
00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:11,452
Excuse me, sir.
Do you work here?
85
00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:12,757
Why yes, I do.
86
00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:17,501
How can I help you?
87
00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:18,894
Oh, well, you may want to know
88
00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:20,504
that I was just in the bathroom
89
00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:22,593
and somebody left
the toilet seat up.
90
00:03:26,684 --> 00:03:29,470
Well, perhaps you have
a question about televisions.
91
00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:31,820
As a matter
of fact, I do.
92
00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:34,823
Does this model have
VGA and HDMI inputs?
93
00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:37,173
And can it handle both
NTSC and PAL frame rates?
94
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,870
'Cause I don't want
to be region-locked on a 4K
95
00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:40,263
when 8Ks are right
around the corner.
96
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:41,917
You know what
I'm saying, big dog?
97
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:45,964
I'll handle this, bro. Why don't
you go check on them toilets.
98
00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:52,449
I love that we're
afternoon friends now.
99
00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:53,842
Yeah, yeah, I know,
100
00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:56,453
but when you said that
we would be day drinking,
101
00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:58,673
this is not exactly
what I had in mind.
102
00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:03,808
Ooh, Gemma, this Earl Grey
tastes like Chardonnay.
103
00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:05,941
The tea cup makes me
feel less guilty.
104
00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:10,728
So I see you guys got
a piano. Who plays?
105
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,339
Grover started
taking lessons,
106
00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:14,602
but he's not really that into
it. He doesn't like his teacher.
107
00:04:14,645 --> 00:04:17,431
See, there's your
problem right there.
108
00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:21,391
When teaching piano,
you have to have fun.
109
00:04:25,439 --> 00:04:27,963
I didn't
know you played.
110
00:04:28,006 --> 00:04:30,444
Yeah, I started when
I was about Grover's age.
111
00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:33,316
My mom was the church organist.
I used to sit next to her
112
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,579
while she'd teach me
how to play gospel songs,
113
00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:37,973
but she would add curse words
in it to make it fun.
114
00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:42,325
Like "hell-elujah"?
115
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:44,066
Gemma, that's blasphemous.
116
00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:48,418
Well, I hope Grover can be
as good as you someday.
117
00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:50,594
Do you know any fun
piano teachers?
118
00:04:50,638 --> 00:04:52,683
Well, I know the most
fun one of all...
119
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:55,469
me.
120
00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:58,602
Oh, my God, that
would be so great.
121
00:04:58,646 --> 00:05:00,517
But, are you sure
it's not an imposition?
122
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:04,391
No, not at all. I'll put up
with a lot for 50 bucks an hour.
123
00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:11,485
Oh, man, look at the size
of these TVs.
124
00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:12,747
I know.
125
00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:15,663
My first TV, the screen
was this big.
126
00:05:15,706 --> 00:05:18,187
My first TV was
black and white.
Huh.
127
00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:20,798
Kind of like
you and me.
128
00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:23,497
Yeah, except I can't
turn you off.
129
00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,110
What are you guys doing here?
130
00:05:28,153 --> 00:05:30,417
Well, your dad just wanted
to see you in action.
131
00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:32,114
Yeah, and I was halfway
down the driveway
132
00:05:32,157 --> 00:05:35,552
when Dave jumped in
the back of my truck.
133
00:05:35,596 --> 00:05:37,902
Well, I appreciate you guys
coming out to support me,
134
00:05:37,946 --> 00:05:39,339
but, uh, I'm on the clock.
135
00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:42,559
Oh, look how
professional he is.
136
00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:46,650
Yeah, got his shirt all
tucked in and his khakis.
137
00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:51,612
Hi there. Are you gentlemen
being taken care of?
138
00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:53,178
Are you kidding?
139
00:05:53,222 --> 00:05:56,617
This is the most impressive
salesman I've ever met.
140
00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:58,227
I mean, tell me the truth,
141
00:05:58,270 --> 00:06:01,361
how many times has he been
employee of the month?
142
00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:03,798
Uh, well, actually,
this is his first day.
143
00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:06,017
What?What?
144
00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:09,412
Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
145
00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:12,502
Well, you know, you have
one heck of a salesman
146
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:15,113
here in, uh...
147
00:06:15,157 --> 00:06:16,854
Malcolm.
Yeah.
148
00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:19,379
Let me guess,
these are your dads?
149
00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:23,034
Yup. They sure are.
150
00:06:23,078 --> 00:06:26,647
Oh, no, we are not.
I'm his dad.
151
00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:29,911
And I'm his neighbor,
but we're best friends.
152
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,699
Okay, well, if you don't mind,
153
00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:37,397
there's a lady over there
who's actually interested
154
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:40,356
in buying something.Oh, please.
155
00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:44,491
Can you
believe that guy
156
00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:46,667
actually thought
we were a couple?
157
00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:49,234
Please,
you could do worse.
158
00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:56,154
Okay, Grover, I guarantee
you this piano lesson
159
00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:57,765
is gonna be a lot more fun.
160
00:06:57,808 --> 00:06:59,288
How do you know?
161
00:06:59,331 --> 00:07:01,116
Because I've already had my tea.
162
00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:04,075
Now, the first step
163
00:07:04,119 --> 00:07:06,164
is to visualize
your audience.
164
00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:07,775
I like to imagine
165
00:07:07,818 --> 00:07:10,473
that I'm walking on stage
166
00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:13,084
at the Apollo Theater.
167
00:07:13,128 --> 00:07:16,261
Oh, oh, thank you.
168
00:07:16,305 --> 00:07:18,002
Oh, thank you.
169
00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:21,789
Oh, hello.
170
00:07:21,832 --> 00:07:24,792
Who are you waving at?Quincy Jones.
171
00:07:24,835 --> 00:07:27,577
Who's that?Just a guy I used to date.
172
00:07:27,621 --> 00:07:30,275
Okay, now-now,
come on, show me
173
00:07:30,319 --> 00:07:31,625
how you're gonna
walk onto the stage.
174
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,587
Hi, Mom.
175
00:07:37,631 --> 00:07:40,808
Oh, come on, Grove,
that's all you got?
176
00:07:40,851 --> 00:07:42,505
Listen, these imaginary people
177
00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:44,681
paid a lot of money
to come see you.
178
00:07:44,725 --> 00:07:48,076
Now strut your stuff, man.
Come on.
179
00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:49,643
Uh-huh, okay.
180
00:07:49,686 --> 00:07:51,993
That's good.
181
00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:54,212
Okay. Get it.
182
00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:56,824
Oh, okay.
183
00:07:56,867 --> 00:08:00,088
All right, all right.
184
00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:03,657
Little rock star, you haven't
dropped the album as of yet.
185
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:07,008
Now, most teachers teach
you how to play music.
186
00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:09,445
I'm gonna teach you
how to feel music.
187
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,752
Tell me how this
makes you feel.
188
00:08:17,279 --> 00:08:19,977
Scared.
Mm.
189
00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:22,545
Like getting your credit ran
at a furniture store.
190
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:27,245
Now how about this?
191
00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:33,425
Happy?
Oh!
192
00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:34,644
Like getting
your credit approved,
193
00:08:34,688 --> 00:08:36,124
now you can get that waterbed!
194
00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:41,172
Can I just go back
to waving at my fans now?
195
00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:43,566
Yeah, but they're
not gonna cheer you on
196
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:45,350
unless you play
something, baby.
197
00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:47,352
You're right.
Yeah.
198
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:49,964
Good thing our piano
has this demo button.
199
00:08:56,927 --> 00:09:00,714
Okay, mama's gonna need
some more tea. I'll be back.
200
00:09:04,065 --> 00:09:05,588
Hey, Trevor, you
wanted to see me?
201
00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:07,416
Yeah, come on in.
202
00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:10,506
I was looking over the receipts,
and you sold four TVs today?
203
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,247
Is that a good thing?
204
00:09:12,290 --> 00:09:13,988
Yeah, yeah, four TVs is great.
205
00:09:14,031 --> 00:09:16,599
Thank God. Man,
I thought I was in trouble.
206
00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:18,601
Oh, you are.
207
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:21,996
Does it have something to do
with one of my two dads?
208
00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:24,476
Malcolm, it's great
that you sold four TVs,
209
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,827
but we make our real money
on peripherals.
210
00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:30,134
You know, cables, warranties,
home installations.
211
00:09:30,178 --> 00:09:32,441
Yeah, I offered that
to all of my customers,
212
00:09:32,484 --> 00:09:33,877
but nobody was interested.
213
00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:36,532
Then you have to convince people
that they need them.
214
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,839
Like that little old lady
you sold to earlier.
215
00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:40,710
If you had told her
she needed a warranty,
216
00:09:40,754 --> 00:09:42,364
she would've bought it.
217
00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:45,628
She was 80 years old, man. She
didn't need a 15-year warranty.
218
00:09:47,456 --> 00:09:50,590
Then why didn't you sign her up
for our in-store credit card?
219
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:51,982
With 18% interest?
220
00:09:52,026 --> 00:09:53,854
Exactly. See, that's how
we really get them.
221
00:09:55,203 --> 00:09:57,597
Now go back out there
and make me proud.
222
00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,034
Oh, and push
the 65-inch Hamagakis.
223
00:10:00,077 --> 00:10:02,253
They're about to be recalled
for exploding.
224
00:10:02,297 --> 00:10:05,517
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, Trevor,
I don't think I'm comfortable
225
00:10:05,561 --> 00:10:07,476
selling people stuff
they don't need, man,
226
00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:10,435
or that should come
with a fire extinguisher.
227
00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:12,655
Okay, got it.
Totally understand.
228
00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:14,526
Cool.
You're fired.
229
00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:16,528
What?
230
00:10:16,572 --> 00:10:18,835
Look, man, clearly
you're a good guy.
231
00:10:18,879 --> 00:10:21,446
If I knew that,
I wouldn't have hired you.
232
00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:23,797
Hold on, let's not be
too hasty, all right.
233
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,495
I am not such a good guy.
I can do much worse.
234
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:30,020
Mm, nah, man, not buying it.
I feel like you're lying to me,
235
00:10:30,064 --> 00:10:31,848
which is good, but too late.
236
00:10:31,892 --> 00:10:34,329
All right, fine.
237
00:10:34,372 --> 00:10:37,288
But I hope one of them Hamagakis
blows up in your face.
238
00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:38,638
No, you don't.
239
00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:40,030
Damn, you're right. I don't.
240
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:53,827
Congratulations!Congratulations!
241
00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:56,873
You did it!
242
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:05,577
Sorry about that.
243
00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:08,363
Probably should've thrown that
from farther away.
244
00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:11,409
Uh, wow, guys.
245
00:11:11,453 --> 00:11:12,976
You shouldn't have.
246
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,761
You really shouldn't have.
247
00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:17,328
Yeah, man.
I agree.
248
00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:18,721
It's just your first day.
And some of us
249
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:20,549
have been employed for years,
you know,
250
00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:23,334
as a rocket scientist.
251
00:11:23,378 --> 00:11:26,381
Have you ever sold
anybody a rocket?
252
00:11:26,424 --> 00:11:28,383
Daddy, that's not
how it works, man.
253
00:11:30,385 --> 00:11:32,517
We're just so
happy for you.
254
00:11:32,561 --> 00:11:34,519
Yeah. Way to go, Malcolm.
255
00:11:34,563 --> 00:11:36,347
Oh.Aw.
256
00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:38,175
Hey, thanks, little man.
257
00:11:38,219 --> 00:11:41,178
Son, you know
I've been hard on you
258
00:11:41,222 --> 00:11:43,137
these last couple years, but...
259
00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:44,616
seeing you at work today,
260
00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:46,531
I'm proud of you, son.
261
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,404
So, how was your first day?
262
00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:50,927
It was, um...
263
00:11:50,971 --> 00:11:52,363
unbelievable.
264
00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:54,061
Yeah, it was!
265
00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:56,716
All right!
266
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:06,769
Come on, son. Everybody wants
to hear about your day.
267
00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:08,597
Um, you know,
Pop, I, um...
268
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,686
I sold some stuff,
people bought some stuff,
269
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:14,037
and then I talked to my boss
about my future at the company.
270
00:12:14,081 --> 00:12:16,039
See, that's what I'm talking
about right there.
271
00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:17,258
See?
272
00:12:17,301 --> 00:12:18,607
Does anybody want
to hear about my day?
273
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:21,523
Today, my satellite discovered
a new supernova.
274
00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:23,003
Okay, not now, Marty. Listen,
275
00:12:23,046 --> 00:12:24,482
um...
276
00:12:24,526 --> 00:12:27,094
so, did you use any
of my techniques?
277
00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:29,096
Uh, every single
one of 'em, Pop.
278
00:12:29,139 --> 00:12:30,793
That's my boy
right there.
279
00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:31,968
Just sayin',
280
00:12:32,012 --> 00:12:34,231
I am also your boy.
281
00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:36,103
So, did you
282
00:12:36,146 --> 00:12:38,235
use any
of my techniques today?
283
00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:41,021
Well, I repositioned
a telemetry transponder
284
00:12:41,064 --> 00:12:42,805
from 60 million miles away.
285
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:44,372
So all I'm hearing is "no."
286
00:12:47,854 --> 00:12:50,204
So, Grover said his piano
lesson went great.
287
00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:52,684
Ah. Yeah, he danced
for five minutes,
288
00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:55,122
gave me his autograph,
and then quit.
289
00:12:55,165 --> 00:12:56,819
What? He quit?
290
00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:58,081
Yeah. He dropped the mic,
291
00:12:58,125 --> 00:13:00,083
threw two fingers
to the sky, and said,
292
00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:03,565
"Peace out, Pasadena!
Grover has left the building!"
293
00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:06,916
No, he can't quit.
294
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:08,439
I stopped taking lessons
when I was his age,
295
00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:10,354
and I've regretted
it ever since.
296
00:13:10,398 --> 00:13:12,400
Oh, wow. I didn't know
you wanted to play.
297
00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:14,837
Yeah.
298
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:17,579
I have this fantasy where
I'm at a boring party,
299
00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:20,060
but there's a piano
across the room.
300
00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:21,148
The crowd parts.
301
00:13:21,191 --> 00:13:22,584
I float over to it
302
00:13:22,627 --> 00:13:24,586
and start tickling
those ivories.
303
00:13:24,629 --> 00:13:25,935
Next thing you know,
304
00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:27,850
there's a crowd gathered
around me making requests.
305
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:30,070
And for some reason, Brad
Pitt is sitting next to me
306
00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:31,898
with his shirt off.
307
00:13:32,986 --> 00:13:35,162
So, you're making Grover
take lessons
308
00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:37,164
because you regret
giving it up.
309
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:40,080
Well, yeah.
310
00:13:41,516 --> 00:13:43,823
Isn't living vicariously
through our kids
311
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:46,173
half the reason why we have them
in the first place?
312
00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:48,436
Why don't you stop
forcing Grover
313
00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:50,220
to do something he
doesn't want to do
314
00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:52,353
and let me give you
lessons instead?
315
00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:55,138
Oh, I don't know. It seems
like it's too late to start now.
316
00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:56,618
You're right.
You're getting old.
317
00:13:56,661 --> 00:13:57,793
You might break a hip.
318
00:13:59,273 --> 00:14:01,231
Okay, fine.
I'll give it a shot.
319
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:03,146
Okay. Oh. And
for the record,
320
00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:04,756
which Brad Pitt
are we talking about?
321
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:05,932
Fight ClubBrad.
322
00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,194
Ooh! That's a good Brad.
323
00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:14,331
Malcolm?
324
00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:17,073
Oh, hey, Dave. What's up?
325
00:14:17,117 --> 00:14:19,336
Hey, what are you doing here?
I thought you had work today...
326
00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:22,252
Oh, no.
327
00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:24,254
Look, Dave, I can explain, man.
328
00:14:24,298 --> 00:14:26,256
I just realized that if I had
been wearing a suit, too,
329
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,432
we would look
just like Men in Black.
330
00:14:30,782 --> 00:14:33,960
Yep, that is a missed
opportunity, Dave.
331
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:37,702
Wait, are these
job applications?
332
00:14:37,746 --> 00:14:41,097
Yeah. Look, the truth is,
333
00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:44,144
I got fired yesterday, man.What? Why?
334
00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:46,146
Because they wanted me to do
some sleazy stuff
335
00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:47,799
that I wasn't comfortable with.
336
00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:49,584
Whoa.
337
00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:52,369
You mean, like, sex stuff?
338
00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:56,373
No, man. No, I mean, like,
ripping off old ladies.
339
00:14:56,417 --> 00:14:58,114
Oh-- whoa.
340
00:14:58,158 --> 00:14:59,420
Well, that's bad, too.
341
00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:04,816
What'd your dad say?
342
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:08,037
I haven't told him yet.
I mean, you saw him yesterday.
343
00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:10,605
He hasn't looked at me like that
since I was playing ball, man.
344
00:15:10,648 --> 00:15:12,259
He was in a pretty great mood.
345
00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:13,869
You know,
after we left your store,
346
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,262
all he wanted to do was
hang out together.
347
00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:18,047
We even split a giant pretzel.
348
00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:20,528
Wait, he split one with you?
349
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:22,095
Not evenly.
350
00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:25,098
Yeah, well, I can't believe
351
00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:28,231
I finally landed a job
and get fired on my first day.
352
00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:30,016
That's humiliating.
353
00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:31,713
Well, you know what?
Maybe it's a good thing.
354
00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:33,236
You don't want to be stuck
in a job
355
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,412
that goes against your morals.
356
00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:37,066
Yeah, but I got to do something.
357
00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:41,418
You will. You're a smart,
hardworking good guy.
358
00:15:41,462 --> 00:15:43,203
A-And I'm not just saying that
359
00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:44,900
because I'm one
of your two dads.
360
00:15:48,686 --> 00:15:51,124
Oh, hey, Calvin.
You going somewhere?
361
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:52,995
You know, I thought
I'd surprise Malcolm at work
362
00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:54,214
and take him out to lunch.
363
00:15:54,257 --> 00:15:57,304
Uh... d-don't do that.
364
00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:59,045
Why not?
365
00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:02,962
'Cause I was thinking, we had
such a nice time yesterday,
366
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:07,140
maybe... maybe we should go try
a pretzel someplace else.
367
00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:12,188
You know, maybe do a little
Pasadena pretzel crawl.
368
00:16:12,232 --> 00:16:14,974
That's a hard pass, Dave.
369
00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:17,237
Hey, but, uh, bring me home one.
370
00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:21,197
All right, well, you got it.
371
00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:23,591
All right, well,
you have a good time.
372
00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:26,159
Bye, now. We'll
see you later.
373
00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:32,252
Uh-- yeah, hey, M-Malcolm.
Yeah, it's Dave.
374
00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:35,037
Your dad is on his way
to the store.
375
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:37,213
No, no, I didn't
tell him anything.
376
00:16:37,257 --> 00:16:39,215
I tried to stop him,
but apparently,
377
00:16:39,259 --> 00:16:41,304
I made more of our pretzel
experience than he did,
378
00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:45,265
which totally backfired, 'cause
now I got to go get him one.
379
00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:52,315
Hey, Pop.
Oh.
380
00:16:52,359 --> 00:16:54,230
Hey.Hey, there you
are, man.
381
00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:55,623
I've been looking
all over for you.
382
00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:57,059
Yeah, yeah, I was, uh...
383
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,452
I was back there in a meeting.
384
00:16:58,495 --> 00:17:00,410
Mm, must be very important.
385
00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:03,065
I see you got your suit on.: Yeah.
386
00:17:03,109 --> 00:17:05,459
Uh-- are they talking about
making you manager already?
387
00:17:05,502 --> 00:17:06,764
Oh, well, they definitely said
I wouldn't be
388
00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:07,939
in this position long.
389
00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:12,596
All right. Well, I just came by
to take you out to lunch.
390
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:15,295
Oh, great, man, I'm starving.
Let's go right now.
391
00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:17,819
Oh, hold on. Don't you have
to check with your boss first?
392
00:17:17,862 --> 00:17:19,821
No, no.
After our talk yesterday,
393
00:17:19,864 --> 00:17:22,954
I pretty much make up
my own hours.
394
00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:25,783
Well, all right. That's good
right there. But you know what?
395
00:17:25,827 --> 00:17:27,176
Before we go,
396
00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:28,960
I've been thinking about
taking a look at some
397
00:17:29,004 --> 00:17:30,310
of these flat-screens
right here,
398
00:17:30,353 --> 00:17:32,225
take advantage of that
employee discount.
399
00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:33,530
Oh, hey, Pop.
400
00:17:33,574 --> 00:17:35,184
Pop, you don't need
a new TV, man.
401
00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:36,620
You know what you need?
402
00:17:36,664 --> 00:17:38,535
Uh-- this.
403
00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:41,016
A baby monitor?Yup. Yeah.
404
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,278
I-It doesn't
just monitor babies.
405
00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:44,411
You can listen to what mom says
about you
406
00:17:44,454 --> 00:17:47,066
when you're not around. Huh?
407
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:49,633
It would be nice to hear
all those compliments.
408
00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:51,766
All right. That is great.
409
00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:53,420
I will ring
it up for you
410
00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:55,857
and bring it home
after my shift. Let's go.
411
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:58,425
Malcolm.
412
00:17:58,468 --> 00:17:59,426
What are you doing here?
413
00:17:59,469 --> 00:18:00,644
Uh, nothing. Uh, uh,
414
00:18:00,688 --> 00:18:02,603
just going out to lunch
with my dad.
415
00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:04,387
H-Hold on. What,
416
00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:06,215
what does he mean by,
"What are you doing here?"
417
00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:08,435
I mean he doesn't
work here anymore.
418
00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:11,351
What?
419
00:18:11,394 --> 00:18:13,048
I got fired yesterday, Pop.
420
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,833
Fired? How is that
even possible?
421
00:18:15,877 --> 00:18:17,835
I mean, how bad do you
have to be at something
422
00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:20,099
to get fired on your
first damn day?
423
00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:22,362
TREVOR:
Pretty bad, actually.
424
00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:24,886
He refused to do the job.
425
00:18:24,929 --> 00:18:26,540
Damn it, Malcolm.
426
00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:29,238
I mean, how can you
refuse to do anything?
427
00:18:29,282 --> 00:18:31,762
What I refused to do
was rip people off, Pop,
428
00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:33,242
and sell exploding TVs
to old ladies.
429
00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:36,245
Hey, you could've sold
those TVs to anyone.
430
00:18:36,289 --> 00:18:40,989
Oh, h-hold on, now. You wanted
him to sell exploding TVs?
431
00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:44,166
Yes, but with an extended
warranty. I'm not a monster.
432
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:48,170
All right, look, Pop, man,
I want you to be proud of me,
433
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:50,477
but not if that means
I can't be proud of myself.
434
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,348
Look, man, don't
overthink it.
435
00:18:52,392 --> 00:18:54,742
Some people just aren't
cut out for success.
436
00:18:54,785 --> 00:18:57,527
Oh, oh, oh. Hold on, now.
437
00:18:57,571 --> 00:18:59,747
My son is gonna be a success.
438
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:01,444
Because he has
integrity
439
00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:03,490
and heart and principles,
440
00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:06,406
and that's why I know my son
is gonna rise to the top.
441
00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:09,191
He's not gonna be some
bottom-feeder like you.
442
00:19:10,366 --> 00:19:12,368
All right, whatever.
443
00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:15,415
I just came out of my
office to chat up
444
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:18,983
that hot pregnant lady I
saw on the security camera.
445
00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:20,246
Bye.
446
00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:25,033
Dude's a jackass.
447
00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:27,470
Yeah, look, Pop, I was gonna
tell you the truth, man,
448
00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:30,212
but I just wanted
to find another job first.
449
00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:31,474
Look, man,
450
00:19:31,518 --> 00:19:33,868
I know I put a lot
of pressure on you,
451
00:19:33,911 --> 00:19:36,436
but you never have to lie to me
about doing the right thing.
452
00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:39,656
Cool. Thanks, Pop.
453
00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:42,224
All right. So how about
we get that lunch?
454
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:44,531
Sounds good to me.
Where we going?
455
00:19:44,574 --> 00:19:46,663
First restaurant we see
with a "help wanted" sign.
456
00:19:57,283 --> 00:19:58,762
How's it going, Mom?
457
00:19:58,806 --> 00:20:02,026
Uh, okay,
but it's harder than I thought.
458
00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:03,724
Maybe you should have some tea.
459
00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:08,250
Miss Tina says
it makes everything better.
460
00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:12,254
What else
did Miss Tina teach you?
461
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:14,256
Well, she taught me
to always start
462
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:15,997
by waving to your audience.
463
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,868
Hey, Quincy.
464
00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:21,698
Now, let's start
with a simple scale.
465
00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:23,483
Okay.
466
00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:32,927
Grover, that's really good.
467
00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:34,929
I thought you didn't
like playing piano.
468
00:20:34,972 --> 00:20:39,194
I didn't. But I think maybe
I like playing with you.
469
00:20:40,848 --> 00:20:43,851
Well, we could take lessons
from Miss Tina together.
470
00:20:43,894 --> 00:20:45,156
That sounds fun.
471
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,290
But first, let's give some love
to our fans.
472
00:20:48,334 --> 00:20:49,422
Yeah.
473
00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:55,297
Who are you waving at?
474
00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:57,430
Oh, just this guy named Brad.
475
00:20:57,473 --> 00:21:00,476
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
476
00:21:04,088 --> 00:21:06,090
Captioned by
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