Original subtitles

I love excursions.

Excursions are just really days off, but in school clothes.

Billie, correct me if I'm wrong,

but your mood doesn't seem to match the thrilling prospect of a day out

and a comedy performance.

I thought you liked shaky, shaky, Shakespeare.

Guys, after what happened at Robina's party,

we really, really need to come up with a plan for when I turn 13.

Don't worry, B, we'll have a sweet shindig...

Not the party, Bert!

The bit where I can't see Spookies any more.

And if that happens,

I'm going to be useless to the crew.

Billie, we'll come up with a plan.

If two heads are better than one, then five are unbeatable.

We're a team, right?

WHISTLE BLOWS

OK, fives and sixes, of this, I am certain.

It's almost time to raise the curtain.

Before we head in,

if you've got a device, you know the drill.

Put it on ice.

STUDENTS GROAN

Hand it over.

Sorry, Fil.

Portal activity confirmed.

Alert. New Spooky detected.

WATCH CHIMES

SPOOKY SQUAWKS

SPOOKY SQUAWKS

Well, looks like it's just you and me, Spooky.

Sigh.

SPOOKY SQUAWKS

If you are searching for company,

then you are not the only one.

It seems that I, too, am doomed

to drift through the technoverse - alone forever.

GOBBLING

HE GRUNTS

You can do this, Jon.

Don't play the donkey,

be the donkey.

Hee... Hee-haw!

All right, my dude,

who's ready to fix up Medieval Space Farmer 3?

That bad boy used to be our biggest money-spinner.

We get that fixed up,

that is one step to restoring

our house of bowling to its former glory.

And what's with the donkey head?

I need a backup career. OK?

You know, in case Bowl-A-Rama doesn't make it.

JOHN SPLUTTERS

Bowl-A-Rama will never die.

Besides, you can't have a backup career without me!

Watch us.

JOHN SHOUTS

Hey, guys.

I've been thinking.

If I'm not going to be able to see Spookies,

someone else needs to take over the Spooky Files.

No. No! Why? No. What do you mean? No.

How can I draw them if I can't see them?

We still have some time before your birthday.

Yeah. I'm just being a realist.

We need to be prepared for everything.

Even the worst case scenario.

I can take them.

I got an A for my last art project.

Plus, my mum says I have the neatest handwriting!

Negatory, Jess.

As Bill's bro, I should be the temporary custard-odeon.

Until we figure out this Spooky-seeing hiccup.

OK. Over to you.

WHISTLE BLOWS

Chop, chop. Let's go.

Line up, you lot. Come on. OK, OK. Coming.

Are you sure, Bert?

We'll find a way to keep Billie in the crew no matter what.

Then she can have these back.

The files are safe with me.

Speaking of safety, those shoelaces are a trip hazard.

Good call. Save me a seat, Xene.

I'm right behind you.

Try coming undone now.

SPOOKY SQUAWKS

SNAKE CHARMER MELODY PLAYS

HE GROANS

HE GASPS Move it, Bert.

Pick up the pace.

Sorry, miss.

Silly shoelace. Ha-ha.

Let's not delay, we must see the play.

Is that what I really sound like?

Thank you for waiting.

You deserve a reward.

I can help you.

Can I take your clipboard?

I thought that kids thought rhyming was cool.

What if they think I sound like a fool?

OK, but maybe just cool it on the rhymes.

Let's get a move on.

I want to get one of those fancy beanbags.

Your wish is my command.

I'll get you the best seat in all the land.

I will console! HE GROWLS

Run, run as fast as a hare,

find Miss Norris a comfy chair.

The old dude and...

THEY GRUNT

You must be wondering what I'm doing here, hey, Bert?

Not really.

Oh!

Well, prepare yourself for a talent that you never knew existed.

Soz. Can't stay here.

I'm getting a seat for the teacher of the year.

Wait, no. Argh!

Kids.

Oh, this is almost as comfy as my couch back home.

Here's a thought - how about some more back support?

Huh?

Welcome, tiny sir. Take a seat!

Bert! What are you doing?

I'm on a quest. No time to rest.

A cushion, my kingdom for a cushion.

That was weird, right?

Speaking from experience, Bert does take excursions very seriously.

Erm, Billie, did you decide on a new Spooky Files format?

"Jon's secret notes."

How did this happen?

If we've got Jon's notebook,

does that mean that he's got the Spooky Files?

This is a serious data breach.

That's the only copy we have.

We can't lose it.

What should we do?

Jon must be nearby.

We need to find him and retrieve the Spooky Files.

Yeah. We're here for you, Billie.

I know I said I was retired from sports...

..but duty calls.

We should form another search party to double our retrieval capacity.

I'm in!

Billie, you stay here and guard the stage.

Me and BPJ will go backstage.

You can count on us.

HE GRUMBLES

Hey, Jon, would you mind holding this here for a sec while I...

CRICKETS CHIRPING

HE SIGHS

Boo-ya!

Hear ye, hear ye...

If we don't find the Spooky Files,

can't you just write it down again for memory?

Alas, it's not that simple.

The Spooky files are more than what's on the page.

They're part drawing, part Billie.

She's poured so much of herself into them

that I don't think they can be recreated - ever.

Well, when you put it that way, we've got to find these files!

SQUAWKING Huh?

Ah, Xena, I think I've found something.

SNAKE CHARMER MELODY PLAYS

THEY SIGH HAPPILY

What...is this?

These aren't my acting notes.

Argh!

OK, Jon, you're just going to have to believe in yourself.

It's only Shakespeare.

No biggie.

HE EXHALES

HE FLUTTERS LIPS

You got this.

HE FLUTTERS LIPS

You can do this, Jon.

The King doth revels... from here tonight!

Take heed, the Queen must leave her sight.

For Oberon is passing and fallen wrath,

a lovely boy, as her attendant hath.

A lovely boy stolen from an Indian king.

So sweet, I never had a changeling.

A jealous Oberon would have the child...

SHE YELPS

Did you find the Spooky Files?

Fun fact - we did not.

The true treasure was the friends we made along the way.

OK.

New look, Xene?

It's a tribute to my bestest bestie, BPJ.

No, you're my bestest bestie!

JESS GIGGLES

I need to find Derek.

So, Jon, why acting?

Well, you know, with the bowling biz tanking,

I figured that I needed a backup career,

and nothing says stable income quite like acting.

Oh, my gosh, I can't believe that Jon from Bowl-A-Rama

is actually talking to me.

DEREK SIGHS

So, does he have them?

Hello, little busy here talking to my hero.

Whoa! I'm not a hero, OK?

I'm just a regular guy with an incredible gift for donkey work.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I need to get to a place that I like to call the Donkey Zone.

JON GOBBLES

Derek, we've got a serious situation here.

We've lost the Spooky Files,

and I think there's a Spooky on the loose.

JON FLUTTERS LIPS, BRAYS

Such an incredible artist!

Are you even listening?

Xena and Backpack Jess are obsessed with each other.

And Bert is glued to Miss Norris

and rhyming like a Christmas cracker!

Reckon he'd sign my library card?

Derek!

What happened to "we're here for you"?

No harm in asking, right?

Can you please sign my library card?

For 13 bucks, I'll sign it twice.

Content with Hermia?

No, I do repent the tedious minutes I with her have spent.

SHE SCOFFS

OK.

Looks like you're on your own now, Billie.

BLOWING RASPBERRIES Ew.

You're disgusting, Khaled.

HE CONTINUES BLOWING RASPBERRIES

What?

ROBINA SIGHS

OMG, Khaled!

That is so cool.

Can you do it again?

Ew.

KHALED BLOWS RASPBERRIES

And leads me to your eyes, where I o'erlook

love stories written in love's richest book.

Oh, it's a Love Spooky!

PUCK CONTINUES IN BACKGROUND

Bert, we need to talk.

Shh.

These gardens are both dark and deep.

I must guard her in her sleep.

I think she'll survive.

Now, come on.

Farewell...

Guys, a Spooky is on the loose.

Why else do you think you're all acting this way?

Everything seems normal to me.

I saw it.

It did a weird dance that made Robina fall for Khaled.

Look!

Like this?

No, it's more like when you squeeze tightly...

Spooky or no, I really must go.

Great.

Xena, let's get the Spooky Detector out and go find this thing.

Sorry! We're busy.

Plus, I need my backpack to look like

my bestest bestie, Backpack Jess.

How could I possibly remove it?

Xena, don't make me get it myself.

THEY HISS

What happened to being a team?

I guess I'll find the files myself, then.

That's it, buddy.

Oh, you are such a big help!

HE CHUCKLES

You and me? Together we could save Bowl-A-Rama.

HE LAUGHS

Aw, classic Johnson!

HE CHUCKLES

Write me a prono... HE SQUAWKS

Prologue. A prologue!

And let the prologue seem to say we will...

SHE GASPS

Hmm. Ah...

We will do no harm with our...

MURMURING

Do no harm with our...

Thank you. ..sword!

We do no harm with our sword.

Ha-ha!

Sorry.

I didn't mean that...

So how's the Oscar-winner doing?

I don't know what's wrong.

You know what I reckon would help?

These.

His acting notes! I'll take them to him.

Nuh-uh-uh. Not so fast.

You see that basket over there?

That's where the Spooky Files are.

You get them back, and I'll give you these.

PERFORMER GRUNTS

I'll do it.

For Jon.

And the youth, mistook by me.

Pleading for the lover's fee. GIGGLING

Lord, what fools these mortals be!

As they laugh so preposterously.

GIGGLING

Why should you think that I should woo in scorn?

Scorn and derision never come in tears.

BLOWING RASPBERRIES So funny, Khaled.

THEY LAUGH

BLOWING RASPBERRIES Erm...

Uh...

Get it together!

Psst! I can't find my donkey head.

What do you want us to do about it?

How do I do a donkey scene without a donkey head?

Can you please just call half-time or something?

That's it! I'm done.

I don't have to put up with this. LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER

So no-one's seen my donkey head?

BOOING

Now on to problem number two.

Looking for a love of your own, Mr Spooky?

SPOOKY HISSES

You know, you're not the only one with sweet moves.

SNAKE CHARMER MELODY PLAYS

SPOOKY CHITTERS

SPOOKY PURRS

SPOOKY PURRING

SPOOKY PURRING

Can I have my friends back now?

SPOOKY PURRS

BLOWING RASPBERRIES

Ew! Gross, Khaled.

That is not how a school captain should behave.

SHE HUFFS

Inconceivable.

You lost something special, didn't you?

I can relate to that.

SPOOKY PURRS

SPOOKY PREETS

Ha-ha!

All right, best buddy in the whole world.

Time to light it up.

Tee-hee-hee.

HE YELPS

You said it would work!

The eye of man hath not heard,

the ear of man hath not seen.

SPOOKY PURRING Man's hand is not able to taste,

his tongue to conceive, nor his heart to report...

These should stay with you.

And only you.

You could say that again!

Also, I'm so sorry about today.

Look, I know it was only the Spooky.

Unless you really are Jon's number one fan?

Ha.

His tongue to conceive!

Spooky or no Spooky,

I don't ever want you to feel like I'm not there for you.

Nor his heart to report...

I'm turning 13 right after you.

It's us against the world.

..what my dream was. Look out, world.

I shall sing it at her death!

LOUD WEEPING

That's incredible.

CHEERING, APPLAUSE

If there's one thing we learned today...

It's that the course of true love never did run smooth.

Sure, but mostly it's that Billie doesn't need us to catch Spookies.

And there's no way we can do it without her.

All right, fives, sixes.

Grab your devices and line up.

Where's the rhyme?

I thought I'd give the rhyme a bit of a break, Derek.

STUDENTS PROTESTING But we love your rhymes.

Don't stop. Please!

All right, all right.

I will persist.

But only because you all insist.

Yay!

Go get your phones.

CONTENTED MURMURING

137 new notifications,

if you even care.

Who knew an operating system

could be even needier than a neurotypical human?

Erm, thanks for all your enthusiastic support, Bert.

Yep. No problem, miss.

It's never going to happen again.

Hey, Jon. Jon. Jon.

Hey.

Erm, so... HE CLEARS THROAT

So if you want to do this whole acting thing, do it.

I'll take care of the alley.

Acting is hard.

Like, so hard.

It's really, really hard.

I think I hate it.

Karate chop.

Ah! Plus, you don't get paid, John.

HE WINCES

We're scared, bro.

Of what?

John, I was scared of losing our house of bowling.

Well, how about two best buds get to fixing it up, then?

We start with Medieval Space Farmer 3.

What do you say?

Yes, please!

THEY GRUNT

Let's do this.

Oh! This is Shakespeare, right?

Yeah, dude. Shakespeare!

He's so cute. He's so adorable.

I wonder if it had a friend back in the Spooky dimension.

And maybe everything that happened

today was just its way of trying to find a new one.

I've never thought about it like that.

It's hard losing what you love.

You know, I'm scared of not being able to see Spookies any more.

But today I got a taste of losing all of you.

And if I'm being totally honest,

that's what I'm really afraid of.

Well, I, for one, will not allow our crew to lose Billie.

And I for two.

And three. And four.

It's unanimous.

We need to work out why the Spookies don't want to go home

before Billie's big one-three.

And there's only one way to work out why they refuse to go back.

We need to figure out what's going on

on the other side of the portal.

I wonder what we're going to find.