Original subtitles

Behind you, Bert!

Spooky in the bag!

Famous capture.

Yo!

Careful, Xene. We know this one is quick.

CHITTERING

Are you sure that's a Spooky? The Spooky detector does not lie.

It looks like it escaped from my cousin's doll house.

SCREECHING Nobody move!

That was scary.

Yeah, sure. Terrifying.

I think it's kind of cute. SCREECHING

I don't think it likes being called cute.

Ah...Ah...Achoo!

I accidentally ate your last organic dark chocolate bar!

Huh?

You said Jane ate it.

Hmm.

Achoo!

I still cuddle Mr Whiskers when there's a thunderstorm!

Interesting.

An allergen that forces an instantaneous interrogation effect.

Straight version, Xene.

It makes you sneeze out the truth.

A Truth Fairy!

Guys, I take it back.

This is the most dangerous Spooky ever.

Ooh! What are you hiding, Billie?

Do I need to remind you of our huge and giant secret

in the basement at Bowl-A-Rama?

Oh, yeah.

Spookies, meet your new roommate.

I'm sure you'll become fast friends.

SCREECHING, SPOOKIES EXCLAIM

Or maybe not.

Now, play nice.

The Truth Fairy can't cause any trouble now.

Safe and sound.

Guys, I think we need better security.

Agreed. If anyone conquered this rudimentary system,

our growing collection would be very hard to explain.

At least the Johns never come down here.

And nobody else ever sets foot inside Bowl-A-Rama.

Hey, you lot!

Bet you didn't expect to see me here today.

Ed, you are a master of understatement.

What are you doing here?

My giant morning tea booking got cancelled at the last minute.

I thought I was going to have to ditch everything I baked.

But the Johns said... New business idea, my small friends.

All you can bowl, all you can eat.

But all you CAN eat is pastries.

Yesterday's croissants at tomorrow's prices...

..today! Wha-pah!

And we kick off this weekend.

THIS weekend, this weekend? Like, the weekend that's starting in...

..tomorrow? Correct-amundo, Master Bert.

Now, you kids, you're all on marketing.

So I want you to get this place ready for more visitors

than San Diego Comic-Con. Guys, it's one cancelled order.

Ed, start small...Think big.

In the meantime, got to work out where we're going to put

all these bad boys.

Oh, hey, Jon.

What about that old storeroom downstairs? Great idea, John.

Oh, wait, isn't that where you two put a science project, or something?

Um, yeah, we did, but...

It was locked. And we couldn't find the key.

OK. Well, we'll keep them up here for now, but...

..if there are any leftovers, we'll find that key.

And we'll put them down there for next week.

Au revoir, kiddos.

Ed! Pastry for the plebs!

This is bad. What if the Johns get into the basement?

Well, if we're here to help, we can make sure that doesn't happen.

I'll draw up some additional security options.

Nice one, Xene. Discuss at dinner?

Uh, actually, it's a family affair tonight.

Hope that's OK? Of course, Ed.

I have plenty of rations in cold storage.

Frozen meals from Yaya.

What's going on?

Nothing. Just a nice family dinner.

Chook for the omnivores. Baked tofu for Billie.

And I've even cracked out Nana's gravy boat.

Good, I'm starving. OK, what terrible thing has happened?

It's nobody's birthday. Christmas is months away,

and the lottery results get announced on Saturdays.

So this spread can mean only one thing.

Bad news.

Oh, sorry, Bill.

We didn't mean to freak you out. Everything's fine, kids.

No imminent disasters.

It's the opposite, actually.

NERVOUS LAUGHTER Um...

Well... HE SIGHS

..the other day, um, Jane and I had a big talk and...

Well... We've decided to make our instant family official.

We're getting married!

If...that's OK with you two.

Sure. That makes sense.

Well, we wouldn't have moved here if things weren't serious

between you two. It's actually kind of obvious, you know?

THEY CHUCKLE NERVOUSLY

Bert? Are you kidding me?

A wedding? So good!

And Ed and Billie can finally meet Dad.

Um... But probably not at the wedding, though.

But you'll invite him, won't you?

Well, I don't think he'll be able to get here, Bertie.

He's up north till next year at least.

But it's a wedding. Who doesn't love a wedding?

He'll come if you ask him to.

OK. I'll invite him.

Thanks, Mama Bear.

I know you're busy having adventures, Papa Bear,

but when you come to the wedding, you can tell me all about them.

Come on, you lot. Operation Deck The Halls is a go!

It's not a hall, Jon. Alley. You know! You know.

OK, let's get this place ready like jelly.

How was the Xena-free family dinner?

Jane must have been happy to save money on carrots.

Mum and Ed are getting married.

Marriage may be an outdated institution,

but the cake and dancing are most excellent.

And even excellent-er...

..Dad's coming. Mum's inviting him.

Well, given he hasn't been to visit for four years,

I'd say he's statistically unlikely to fulfil his RSVP.

It's brave of Jane to invite him. Millions wouldn't.

Do you think she's lying about inviting him?

Well, my parents are pretty honest.

For example, I know watching TV doesn't give you square eyes.

And my grade two macaroni art was middling at best.

What did Jane think of your macaroni art?

She loved it.Welcome. All you can bowl, all you can eat. Hmm.

Curious. Get amongst it.

Pastry patrons are here. Get Derek and Billie!

Here's how we're going to do this.

D-Train, make sure the Johns aren't sniffing around for the storeroom.

Yeah!

Billie and Xena - hype team.

Get those pastries into people's faces.

No leftovers! What's your gig?

Doomsday prep.

Hide all signs of anything Spooky.

We're on it, Bert.

Ed's pastries - easier to swallow than a dad joke.

Twice as nice and half the price.

Are you partaking of the pastry buffet?

We've got to hide everything Spooky, including you guys.

If anyone comes down here, we're totally busted.

Stop it!

I'm sorry, guys. I'm just...feeling weird.

Maybe Xene is right.

What if Mum doesn't tell Dad about the wedding?

But Dad would want to come. For sure!

I mean, he hasn't seen me in ages.

Oh! This whole situation is becoming a bigger mess than my bedroom floor!

If only Mum would tell the truth.

CHITTERING

Maybe you can help me.

No!

If we had a Spooky code...

..letting you out would be against it.

But we don't have a Spooky code.

So maybe...

TRUTH FAIRY CHITTERS

Do you promise to dust Mum and then come straight back?

ENTHUSIASTIC CHITTERING

No. I'm bigger than this.

I'll just talk to Mum...

ANGRY CHITTERING

No! Come back!

Might I interest you in a croissant?

Or four?

These Danishes are stale.

Au contraire. They're actually a new trend.

Bendy is out, flakey is in. Have some more.

Achoo! I licked a croissant.

Then I put it back, and I can't remember which one it was.

All the more reason to eat several.

Where is she?

Jeepers!

I don't get it, Jon. We've only sold 17 tickets,

but half the pastries are gone.

Hmm. That is weird. I wonder if it's...

Achoo!

I ate them all!

Wow. That's low, Jon.

You know, you are eating our potential profits!

Well, we can't have any leftovers anyway.

OK? The storeroom is still locked. So chill.

Achoo! The key's in the shoe box by the door.

You told us you couldn't find it!

Hey! You slow down, you subhuman lie detector.

The storeroom can wait. Right now, I'd like to address the issue

of somebody eating all of our get-rich-quick pastries!

Delicious pastries.

Didn't expect to see you here.

I work here, too.

So, where's Derek? I don't know. He's not up here.

He might be in the shoe room.

Anyway, I'm sure you've got better things to do than

hang around here by yourself.

Well, actually, I cleared my schedule.

TINKLY CHIMING

Achoo! I think Derek switched to a new shampoo brand,

because his hair smells amazing now.

BILLIE EXCLAIMS

I thought you were on HQ duty.

I am. Then how come I just got truth dusted?

Achoo! I love beating my kids at bowling!

Oh, these shoes smell like goanna!

Mum ate those chips and said it was Dad!

Seriously? Why?!

And it sounds like I'm not the only one.

I've been making chitchat with the punters.

Everyone's dropped the small talk...

Because they got whacked by the Truth Fairy, Xena.

How did it escape?

Did I forget to lock the door when I went to the dunny?

I let it out. What?! Why?!

It was an accident.

I was going to dust Mum to get the truth about Dad and the wedding.

Then I decided not to, but the Truth Fairy got out anyway.

Dudes... What are you doing?

Truth Fairy protection.

The Truth Fairy's escaped. We know!

And Robina's here.

I got dusted and told the Johns where the key to Spooky HQ is.

What?! Don't worry. I already re-hid it.

Look, the important thing is that we get the Truth Fairy back.

He's right. Derek, you stay on Johns duty,

and the rest of us will split up to cover more ground.

..stop for an ice cream on the way home?

Mum! I ate a lolly I found on the ground and now my stomach hurts.

Achoo! If that's how you feel, stay home next time.

Hey!

I thought it might be fun if we played some games together.

Get the chance to know each other a bit better.

If you'll pardon my frankness,

I didn't think you actually liked us.

Um, I can see how you'd...

Derek's my only real friend and now I feel really insecure,

because I didn't know he was hanging out with all of you and I'm like, "Do I even know him?"

Alas, I know all about feeling unsure of your place

in the social order.

But I regret I cannot talk about this right now.

Achoo! Wait, you told me you loved it.

What, you didn't think I'd notice you eating 27

cheese and chive Danishes on our big day?

Ed is a patisserie wizard. I was powerless to resist!

Huh! John, wait!

Beans! Beans! When did you get here?

Whoa. Are you OK?

No. This place sucks.

Heading home, Robina? What a shame.

Let's do this again soon.

I've been wearing the same socks to school all week!

I'm locking them up in that storeroom downstairs.

It's the only solution. John! John!

Wait. What about the punters?

They've all you can eaten... She's getting away!

..I'm not letting you scoff what little profit we might have left.

Mm! Fine!

Thank you. Now move. Now, let's go get that key.

Panic stations! They're heading to Spooky HQ!

Let's go!

Anything?

No keys in there, John.

Oh! Oh, that is so much easier in movies.

Oh, what a shame. Mm!

A-A-A-A-A-A-A-H-H-H-H-H!

It's open. Oh.

Oh, dear. They've got in.

Argh!

SPOOKIES CHITTERING

OK. This place is full...

..of spiders.

This is not food safe. All right, fine.

But we are never doing this again.

And what the heck is that?!

They know! Brain Fogger!

Huh. All my copies of Dead Media Monthly.

They're a fire hazard. That is just typical, John,

that you would take something that is precious to me,

and you would put it down here.

How did you eat all of them?!

Have you no shame?

I don't even know what you're talking about any more.

Well, kids, it looks like this cursed spider lair is all yours.

I'd love to give you the grand tour, but...

..hmm...

..no, thanks.

I hate spiders.

Can grown-ups not see Spookies?!

Mm, mm?

It's the only explanation.

And the Truth Fairy's still out there.

I scratched your new bike and I didn't tell you!

OVERLAPPING VOICES TELLING THE TRUTH

Big day at the bowling alley?

You have no idea.

Mum, I need to know if you invited Dad to the wedding or not.

OK, um...

Bert...

The thing is...

Achoo!

I did tell your dad about the wedding,

and I said he was more than welcome to come.

But...

..he isn't going to make it.

Not this time.

It has nothing to do with you, though.

I mean, your dad and I broke up a million years ago, and...

SHE SIGHS ..my wedding just isn't

on the top of his list of fun things to do.

And especially living so far away.

I mean, if it was your wedding, he would be here in a flash.

Ugh.

And, Bert...

..this is the important bit.

Just because my relationship with your dad is over,

that doesn't mean yours has to be too.

All of your parents love you, and we always will.

I know. Mm.

And this one's from The Big Crayfish.

And that's the colour I turned when you busted out of Spooky HQ.

KNOCK AT DOOR Come in.

Bedtime for you.

That fairy is full of surprises.

Yeah. I don't know.

I kind of knew Mum was telling the truth all along.

I just...didn't want to hear it.

It wasn't even about the wedding. I just really miss Dad.

What about you? Are you really OK about the wedding?

Yeah, I am.

I miss my mum, too, but I know she's not coming back.

And it's nice, you know, for Dad to have someone that makes him happy

when he's been so sad for so long.

Anyway, we have more urgent things to sort out.

That was a close call today.

I don't know, Bill. It's kind of cool.

Well, yeah. Until something shows up that we can't catch in a washing bag.

I didn't think of that.

If grown-ups can't see Spookies, we're really on our own.

We might be on our own, but I think we're a pretty sweet team.

Boom Shaka!

TRUTH FAIRY SNEEZES Bless you.

GROWLING