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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,636 --> 00:00:06,641 - (soft music) - (film reel rolling) 2 00:00:06,685 --> 00:00:09,507 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 3 00:00:10,979 --> 00:00:13,815 (synth pop music) 4 00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:19,621 ♪ Seen it fell down ♪ 5 00:00:19,654 --> 00:00:23,190 ♪ Didn't make a sound ♪ 6 00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:28,228 ♪ Can you live here anymore ♪ 7 00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:33,535 ♪ What's outside the door ♪ 8 00:00:33,568 --> 00:00:36,971 ♪ Home is on the floor ♪ 9 00:00:37,005 --> 00:00:42,010 ♪ Can you live here anymore ♪ 10 00:00:42,644 --> 00:00:47,649 ♪ It's taking longer than you've seen back home ♪ 11 00:00:49,884 --> 00:00:52,720 (synth pop music) 12 00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:22,050 ♪ Seen it fell down ♪ 13 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:25,520 ♪ Didn't make a sound ♪ 14 00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:30,558 ♪ Can you live here anymore ♪ 15 00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:36,030 ♪ What's outside the door ♪ 16 00:01:36,064 --> 00:01:39,399 ♪ Home is on the floor ♪ 17 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:44,438 ♪ Can you be here anymore ♪ 18 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:49,276 ♪ It's taken longer than you've seen back home ♪ 19 00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:50,277 I mean we work together here- 20 00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:51,679 Frankie. Excuse me. 21 00:01:51,713 --> 00:01:53,615 Hi. How are you? 22 00:01:53,648 --> 00:01:56,450 I couldn't help but notice that you touched your hair 23 00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:58,720 and then you touched the glass right afterwards. 24 00:01:58,753 --> 00:02:02,924 This isn't a fucking barn and it's also not rocket surgery. 25 00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,458 - I'm sorry. - Rocket surgery? 26 00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:06,126 What's rocket surgery? 27 00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:08,096 (Frankie snorts) 28 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,497 Can you please straighten your body and get back to work? 29 00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:11,365 Thank you. 30 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:16,203 - Wow. - (Frankie sighs) 31 00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:18,106 (grunts) 32 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:21,141 (lights flickering) 33 00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:25,278 (soft synth music) 34 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:31,919 ♪ Watching how ♪ 35 00:02:31,953 --> 00:02:37,324 ♪ You take something ♪ 36 00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:39,894 ♪ All you have to do ♪ 37 00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:42,530 ♪ Watching how ♪ 38 00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:47,969 ♪ You take something ♪ 39 00:02:48,002 --> 00:02:50,605 ♪ Blah ay ah ah ♪ 40 00:02:50,638 --> 00:02:53,173 ♪ Watching how ♪ 41 00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:56,309 ♪ You take something ♪ 42 00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:00,548 Hi, it's mama. 43 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:01,849 You never pick up the phone. 44 00:03:01,883 --> 00:03:03,518 Have you been drinking? 45 00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:05,520 I think you should come home if you're not 46 00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:07,855 going to school and you're just making those weird videos. 47 00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:13,728 (synth music) 48 00:03:17,899 --> 00:03:20,333 (muffled gibberish) 49 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:21,368 I'm sorry? 50 00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:22,870 (muffled gibberish) 51 00:03:22,904 --> 00:03:24,706 I can't understand you through the- 52 00:03:24,739 --> 00:03:25,707 I said... 53 00:03:25,740 --> 00:03:27,675 (speaking gibberish) 54 00:03:27,709 --> 00:03:29,209 Oh. You filming me? 55 00:03:29,242 --> 00:03:30,410 - No, I- - Come clean. 56 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:32,113 No, I'm... 57 00:03:32,146 --> 00:03:35,149 You were in the frame, but I was filming the... 58 00:03:35,183 --> 00:03:36,651 There's all these people and there's this painting 59 00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:37,952 just hanging there. 60 00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:38,820 Can I see? 61 00:03:39,821 --> 00:03:40,588 Uh... 62 00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:41,455 Yeah. 63 00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:49,964 - (chittering) - (Link chuckles) 64 00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:52,033 Yeah, no, that's kinda great. 65 00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:52,900 Thank you. 66 00:03:54,202 --> 00:03:55,570 All right, you gotta hold my cheese 67 00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:56,938 and you gotta take care of my head. 68 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,841 All right, ladies and gentlemen. 69 00:04:01,175 --> 00:04:04,078 Hey folks, can I, can I have everybody's attention please? 70 00:04:04,112 --> 00:04:05,847 On the wall behind me, 71 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:08,315 it's not just a pretty picture to distract you 72 00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:11,451 while you're waiting in line to take a shit. 73 00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:14,254 And to be honest, the way that you guys are 74 00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:17,058 treating this painting is upsetting my friend. 75 00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:19,627 This is a man's soul right here. 76 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:21,195 Yeah. 77 00:04:21,229 --> 00:04:24,632 And he's, he's bearing it in the hopes 78 00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:28,236 that for a split second, you will go beyond your own lives. 79 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:31,672 Go beyond your need to just buy things. 80 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,776 So ladies and gentlemen... 81 00:04:36,911 --> 00:04:37,745 This is... 82 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,480 This is a way out. 83 00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:43,217 You know? 84 00:04:43,251 --> 00:04:44,218 (grunts) 85 00:04:44,252 --> 00:04:45,186 Ah, ha ha ha ha, ho! 86 00:04:45,219 --> 00:04:47,021 So eat it up. 87 00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:49,791 Don't eat shoes. Don't eat skateboards. 88 00:04:49,824 --> 00:04:53,094 Don't eat nail polish. Eat the art. 89 00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:54,662 Eat the art! Eat the art! 90 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:56,130 Eat the art! 91 00:04:56,164 --> 00:04:57,430 It tastes good. It tastes really good. 92 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,866 Eat the art. 93 00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:00,234 All together now. 94 00:05:00,268 --> 00:05:01,269 Eat the art. 95 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,970 Eat the art, eat the art, 96 00:05:03,004 --> 00:05:05,039 eat the art, eat the art, 97 00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:06,473 eat the art. 98 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:07,742 They don't want you to hear this, 99 00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,777 they want you to keep shopping! 100 00:05:09,811 --> 00:05:12,713 (soft synth music) 101 00:05:23,191 --> 00:05:26,127 (rapid chattering) 102 00:05:31,866 --> 00:05:35,002 (soft synth music) 103 00:05:35,036 --> 00:05:37,305 (clapping) 104 00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:42,176 (people chattering) 105 00:05:42,210 --> 00:05:43,544 Was that a smile? 106 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:46,714 No. 107 00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:47,715 No, I just have something in my eye. 108 00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:49,349 Will you look at it? 109 00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:50,718 I really think I have something in my eye. 110 00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,352 - Ew, ew. - No, don't you see it? 111 00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:53,721 Is it an eyelash or like a bug or something? 112 00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:54,589 - Do you see- - So fucking gross. 113 00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:56,090 Hey Frankie. 114 00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:57,357 Romeo. 115 00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:58,326 You done flirting? 116 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:01,428 Uh, Judy needs you to sub in. 117 00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:02,462 What? 118 00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:03,664 For her act tonight. 119 00:06:03,698 --> 00:06:05,032 The baby's not coming, so... 120 00:06:07,068 --> 00:06:07,869 That's pretty rough. 121 00:06:07,902 --> 00:06:08,936 No. 122 00:06:08,970 --> 00:06:09,837 Shots. 123 00:06:09,871 --> 00:06:11,138 No. 124 00:06:11,172 --> 00:06:13,440 (people chattering) 125 00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:14,374 Let's get weird. 126 00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:15,810 (glasses clink) 127 00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:18,713 (people chattering) 128 00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:22,283 - (Frankie sighs) - (Jake grunts) 129 00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:24,552 (clapping) 130 00:06:25,853 --> 00:06:27,622 Wasn't he wonderful? 131 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:28,623 Oh my gosh. 132 00:06:28,656 --> 00:06:30,558 I'm so happy to see you. 133 00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:32,026 Hello, I'm Judy and this is my husband, Marty, over there. 134 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,028 Say hello Marty. 135 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,196 (farting) 136 00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:36,030 Now, let's bring out Faith. 137 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,765 Oh my god. 138 00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,668 (synth pop music) 139 00:06:49,277 --> 00:06:54,282 ♪ I pictured a rainbow ♪ 140 00:06:55,016 --> 00:06:58,886 ♪ You held it in your hands ♪ 141 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:03,758 ♪ I had flashes ♪ 142 00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:04,725 ♪ But you saw ♪ 143 00:07:04,759 --> 00:07:05,993 (tires screech) 144 00:07:06,027 --> 00:07:08,029 (honks) 145 00:07:09,931 --> 00:07:10,865 Hey. 146 00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:12,033 Hay is for horses. 147 00:07:12,066 --> 00:07:12,900 Kandinsky. 148 00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:15,770 From the mall last week. 149 00:07:19,307 --> 00:07:20,641 I gotta talk to this girl real quick. 150 00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,545 Oh yeah. 151 00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,213 Yeah. You lost me my job. 152 00:07:26,247 --> 00:07:27,782 What? 153 00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,283 So you're a cockroach now? 154 00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:32,920 (spraying) 155 00:07:32,954 --> 00:07:34,288 - Yeah. - What are you doing? 156 00:07:34,322 --> 00:07:35,022 - That'll be a buck. - Uh, okay. 157 00:07:35,056 --> 00:07:35,790 (honking) 158 00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:37,591 Go around. 159 00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:38,693 Hey, I really want to talk to you. 160 00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:39,894 Can I have your number? 161 00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:41,929 No. 162 00:07:41,963 --> 00:07:43,030 No, I don't got one. 163 00:07:43,064 --> 00:07:44,732 You don't have a phone? 164 00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,499 Well, I don't need one. 165 00:07:48,436 --> 00:07:49,937 How do I get ahold of you? 166 00:07:49,971 --> 00:07:51,272 Hollywood and Ivar. 167 00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:53,374 - Hollywood and Ivar? - Yeah. 168 00:07:53,407 --> 00:07:54,575 The corner? 169 00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,243 On the roof, after five. 170 00:07:56,277 --> 00:07:57,712 Okay. 171 00:07:57,745 --> 00:07:59,146 No, not yet! Yo, wait, we're walkin'! 172 00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:01,415 Pedestrians got the right of way, man. 173 00:08:01,449 --> 00:08:02,283 Shit. 174 00:08:04,118 --> 00:08:09,123 - (girl laughing) - (water splashing) 175 00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:13,995 All right, show me your best. 176 00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:19,834 - (splashes) - Not bad. 177 00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:23,070 How did I do, cockroach man? 178 00:08:23,104 --> 00:08:24,605 That was... 179 00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:28,309 That's a five. Ah, come on. 180 00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:29,176 Five? 181 00:08:32,046 --> 00:08:36,684 - (splashing) - (Link laughs) 182 00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:37,651 What do you call this? 183 00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:38,853 It's a jack knife. 184 00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:40,054 - A jack knife? - Yup. 185 00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:43,357 And what do you call that cockroach costume? 186 00:08:43,391 --> 00:08:44,859 (Link laughs) 187 00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:45,860 That's my day job. 188 00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:48,763 Think you can do better? 189 00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:51,832 Uh, yes. 190 00:08:51,866 --> 00:08:52,700 Hey. 191 00:08:55,236 --> 00:08:56,871 - (splashing) - Oh! 192 00:08:56,904 --> 00:09:01,108 Yeah! (clapping) 193 00:09:01,142 --> 00:09:02,209 Seriously? 194 00:09:02,243 --> 00:09:03,677 It's like a five. 195 00:09:03,711 --> 00:09:05,446 What am I gonna say? It's a five. 196 00:09:05,479 --> 00:09:07,381 I filmed your speech and I posted it on YouTube 197 00:09:07,415 --> 00:09:09,784 and it's doing really well. 198 00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:11,318 Like really, really, really well, 199 00:09:11,352 --> 00:09:14,055 and it's already got like, 2000 views. 200 00:09:15,256 --> 00:09:16,891 Uh, is that a lot? 201 00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:18,726 For me, yeah. 202 00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:20,361 I only have like, you know, barely 100 subscribers. 203 00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:21,862 I don't know, people are commenting things 204 00:09:21,896 --> 00:09:23,197 and it's all really positive and... 205 00:09:24,498 --> 00:09:25,332 That's good. 206 00:09:27,168 --> 00:09:29,504 (splashing) 207 00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:32,006 How was that? 208 00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:33,107 That's a seven. 209 00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:35,976 Sammy, time to go. 210 00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:37,378 Say goodbye to your friend Link. 211 00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,246 But we're not finished. 212 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,182 That's all right, we'll finish later. 213 00:09:43,384 --> 00:09:44,985 Okay? 214 00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:46,720 Come on, Sammy. 215 00:09:46,754 --> 00:09:47,955 Thanks for watching her. 216 00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:49,857 Yeah, sure. 217 00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:53,961 Good for you. 218 00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:58,399 (splashing) 219 00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,401 I'd like to give you my information 220 00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:03,404 so that if you want to find me, you can. 221 00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:05,406 I work at Magic Alley Bar. 222 00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,076 Is that a bar for magicians? 223 00:10:09,110 --> 00:10:10,911 No, it's, sometimes there are magicians there 224 00:10:10,945 --> 00:10:12,379 but it's just a regular bar. 225 00:10:12,413 --> 00:10:13,981 It's not even that far from here. 226 00:10:16,551 --> 00:10:19,019 Oh, I'm gonna check roach man's schedule. 227 00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:19,920 He's a busy guy. 228 00:10:21,222 --> 00:10:23,124 Okay, I'm gonna put it in your shoe. 229 00:10:25,426 --> 00:10:28,262 (water splashing) 230 00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:34,635 - (soft jazz music) - (people chattering) 231 00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:43,077 I don't get people's taste anymore. 232 00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:44,378 People don't have taste anymore. 233 00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:45,813 They are just horny. 234 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:49,283 Well that really depressing. 235 00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:52,653 - Makes me wanna cry. - (water spurting) 236 00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:53,921 (laughing) 237 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,489 - It's good, right? - Yeah. 238 00:10:55,524 --> 00:10:57,224 You know what else makes me really sad? 239 00:10:57,258 --> 00:10:59,059 Well hello boys and girls. 240 00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:01,395 Don't you just love feathers and bells? 241 00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:02,597 (Frankie sighs) 242 00:11:02,631 --> 00:11:03,430 (burps) 243 00:11:03,464 --> 00:11:04,265 I'm hungry. 244 00:11:04,298 --> 00:11:05,266 You little baby. 245 00:11:05,299 --> 00:11:06,500 She needs her milk. 246 00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:08,169 Nice, warm milk. 247 00:11:08,202 --> 00:11:10,437 - Goo goo goo goo goo. - (clapping) 248 00:11:10,471 --> 00:11:11,640 Yes. 249 00:11:11,672 --> 00:11:14,008 Oh, wait, something smells. 250 00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:15,442 That could be some gas. 251 00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:18,647 - Burp, baby, burp. - (people laughing) 252 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:20,515 - Some gas. - Stop! 253 00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:21,415 Whoa! 254 00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:22,651 What the? 255 00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:24,952 Stop, stop! 256 00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:26,153 Let me see this. 257 00:11:26,187 --> 00:11:27,421 I'm gonna get you out of here. 258 00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:28,856 - Trust me. - The gas man. 259 00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:31,859 Oh! Listen up, you motherfudgers! 260 00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:33,194 (laughing) 261 00:11:33,227 --> 00:11:35,496 (laughs) Whoa. 262 00:11:35,530 --> 00:11:37,599 This shit isn't funny. 263 00:11:37,632 --> 00:11:39,333 - Hey! - This shit's just mean. 264 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,869 Yo, let the old lady finish her act, you freak. 265 00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,638 Oh, yo, you want to come up 266 00:11:43,672 --> 00:11:45,272 and suck on the bottle while everybody laughs? 267 00:11:45,306 --> 00:11:48,108 Be my guest, you Nazi cracker! 268 00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:49,176 Nazi cra.... 269 00:11:50,311 --> 00:11:52,980 Hey! Take your ass back to the loony bin, why don't you? 270 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,115 - Yeah. - Oh, this is so funny, 271 00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:57,117 - isn't it, Marty? - (tense music) 272 00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:58,319 Fuck you! 273 00:11:58,352 --> 00:11:59,453 Oh, look, he knows how to run! 274 00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,021 Fuck. 275 00:12:01,055 --> 00:12:05,759 - (tense, dramatic music) - (laughing) 276 00:12:06,661 --> 00:12:10,397 - (clapping) - (tense, dramatic music) 277 00:12:10,431 --> 00:12:12,534 That's Hollywood, when even the bugs 278 00:12:12,567 --> 00:12:14,235 love the spotlight. 279 00:12:17,706 --> 00:12:18,806 - You okay? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 280 00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:20,074 I got it. I got it. 281 00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:21,475 Okay, okay, okay. 282 00:12:21,509 --> 00:12:22,677 - You good? - Hey, he's with me. 283 00:12:22,711 --> 00:12:23,877 He's with me. He's my friend. 284 00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:24,679 - He's my friend. - I'm good. 285 00:12:24,713 --> 00:12:25,547 Come on. 286 00:12:26,615 --> 00:12:27,781 Jesus Christ. 287 00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:30,484 (Link laughing) 288 00:12:30,518 --> 00:12:32,253 Hey, hey, hey. 289 00:12:32,286 --> 00:12:33,387 - Hey. - (Link laughing) 290 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,155 Thank you for the service. 291 00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:37,825 The first class service. Thank you. 292 00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:38,693 Oh my God. 293 00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:42,129 (Link laughs) 294 00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:47,401 You do know that they pay me to do that. 295 00:12:48,570 --> 00:12:49,403 Well... 296 00:12:52,574 --> 00:12:54,441 (sighs) 297 00:12:54,475 --> 00:12:55,543 Well, you didn't seem like you were enjoying yourself. 298 00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:59,480 (soft music) 299 00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:06,887 So is uh, is that kinda your thing? 300 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,056 To dress up in animal costumes? 301 00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,257 Uh... 302 00:13:11,425 --> 00:13:12,259 Well, you know, 303 00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:17,231 if you're in a costume it's easier to spot the other freaks. 304 00:13:21,636 --> 00:13:23,270 Can I film you? 305 00:13:23,304 --> 00:13:25,507 Uh, sure, weirdo. 306 00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,076 Oh. 307 00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,045 If you clean me up right here. 308 00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:34,582 (Frankie chuckles) Okay. 309 00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:40,454 - Right here? - Yeah. 310 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:45,492 - Okay. - (soft synth music) 311 00:14:06,548 --> 00:14:10,585 Will you tell me why you don't like cell phones? 312 00:14:10,618 --> 00:14:12,821 Will you tell me why you don't smoke crack? 313 00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:17,291 This is why. 'Cause where are you? 314 00:14:18,192 --> 00:14:19,426 I'm right here. 315 00:14:19,460 --> 00:14:20,294 Nah, you gotta kick the habit. 316 00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:21,830 Hey. That's mine. 317 00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,030 Hey, hey, hey. Please give that back. 318 00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:25,032 Hey. 319 00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:27,468 (grunting) 320 00:14:27,502 --> 00:14:29,671 Oh! (chuckles) 321 00:14:29,704 --> 00:14:31,806 (grunts) 322 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,709 - Do you eat peanuts? - What? 323 00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:36,210 Can you eat peanuts? 324 00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:37,378 There's a lot of peanuts in Thai food. 325 00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:40,849 I'm gonna be at the Thai place on Bronson tomorrow 326 00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:41,882 if you want to come. 327 00:14:42,717 --> 00:14:43,818 Noon. 328 00:14:43,852 --> 00:14:44,686 Okay. 329 00:14:45,553 --> 00:14:47,388 My name is Link, by the way. 330 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:50,891 Here comes your baby. 331 00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:51,760 Wait. 332 00:14:52,660 --> 00:14:53,628 Fuck! 333 00:14:53,661 --> 00:14:54,629 Wow, she caught it. 334 00:14:54,662 --> 00:14:56,330 The crowd goes wild. 335 00:14:57,565 --> 00:14:58,399 Asshole. 336 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,303 (people chattering) 337 00:15:03,337 --> 00:15:04,506 - (Frankie laughs) - That's crazy. 338 00:15:04,539 --> 00:15:05,472 What the... 339 00:15:05,507 --> 00:15:06,508 Ooh. 340 00:15:06,541 --> 00:15:07,575 Wee-ooh. 341 00:15:07,609 --> 00:15:08,409 Ooh. 342 00:15:08,442 --> 00:15:09,276 Whoa, Whoa. 343 00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:11,044 What the? 344 00:15:12,413 --> 00:15:13,914 Magic. 345 00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:15,382 Wow. 346 00:15:15,416 --> 00:15:16,851 So, what, do you come here often? 347 00:15:16,885 --> 00:15:18,218 No, please. Please talk to me. 348 00:15:18,252 --> 00:15:19,153 Talk to me. Talk to me. 349 00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:20,020 Please come back. 350 00:15:21,623 --> 00:15:23,090 Just for a little bit. 351 00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,559 All right, what do you wanna know? 352 00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,530 Tell me about your parents. 353 00:15:28,563 --> 00:15:29,396 They're dead. 354 00:15:30,532 --> 00:15:31,331 Really? 355 00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:32,834 Yeah. 356 00:15:32,867 --> 00:15:33,735 I'm really sorry. 357 00:15:33,768 --> 00:15:34,636 It's all right. 358 00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:36,905 It was a long time ago. 359 00:15:38,272 --> 00:15:39,072 (sighs) 360 00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:40,542 Measles. 361 00:15:40,575 --> 00:15:42,176 Measles? 362 00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:44,278 It was the Civil War, so, you know. 363 00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:48,115 Did your parents really die or are you... 364 00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:49,383 Yeah. 365 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,753 Okay, so tell me this. 366 00:15:51,786 --> 00:15:53,555 How does that feel? 367 00:15:53,588 --> 00:15:55,122 Okay. 368 00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:56,558 Yeah. 369 00:15:56,591 --> 00:15:58,660 (growls) 370 00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:04,298 Why don't you say something really profound and moving, 371 00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:05,733 just like that? (snaps fingers) 372 00:16:05,767 --> 00:16:07,234 Come on, you can do it. 373 00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:08,870 No, but seriously. 374 00:16:08,903 --> 00:16:10,672 What do you wanna do with your life, Frankie? 375 00:16:13,741 --> 00:16:15,375 I don't know. 376 00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:17,144 Okay, well, if you did know, what would it be? 377 00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:18,780 I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing right now. 378 00:16:18,813 --> 00:16:22,282 I don't know what I want to do. I don't know. 379 00:16:22,316 --> 00:16:24,117 You want to make art? 380 00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,553 Sure, I want to make art. 381 00:16:25,587 --> 00:16:26,987 Wow. 382 00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:28,823 That's great. 383 00:16:28,857 --> 00:16:30,424 All right, well what kind of stuff you want to make? 384 00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:32,560 I don't know. 385 00:16:32,594 --> 00:16:36,296 I want to make things that make other people feel things. 386 00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:39,834 All right. Tell me about that scar. 387 00:16:41,703 --> 00:16:44,137 (soft music) 388 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:45,874 Why'd you do that? 389 00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,843 It's beautiful. It's a part of you. 390 00:16:48,877 --> 00:16:50,678 All right. The intimacy levels are too high. 391 00:16:50,712 --> 00:16:51,546 Abort mission. 392 00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:54,616 (Frankie laughs) 393 00:16:54,649 --> 00:16:56,183 Did you even watch the video I posted? 394 00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:57,752 No. 395 00:16:57,785 --> 00:16:59,988 People really responded to it. To you. 396 00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:02,924 You don't even know how hard it is 397 00:17:02,957 --> 00:17:04,458 to get views on the internet. 398 00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:07,829 Will you just look at the comments? 399 00:17:14,368 --> 00:17:16,838 "The only thing in doubt about your speech 400 00:17:16,871 --> 00:17:19,039 is whether it makes me want to puke 401 00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:21,141 or kill myself and then puke." 402 00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:22,644 That's... 403 00:17:22,677 --> 00:17:24,211 They signed it sincerely everyone. 404 00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:25,880 That's so sweet. 405 00:17:25,914 --> 00:17:27,515 Thank you for showing me that. 406 00:17:27,549 --> 00:17:28,950 There are more positive ones than nasty ones. 407 00:17:28,983 --> 00:17:30,018 All right, so what do you wanna do? 408 00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,251 Do you want to make art, 409 00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:35,422 or do you want to chase affirmation from faceless strangers? 410 00:17:43,998 --> 00:17:45,533 Both. 411 00:17:45,567 --> 00:17:46,701 Get out of my house. 412 00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:49,737 I'm moving in. 413 00:17:49,771 --> 00:17:51,706 There's not enough space for two. 414 00:17:51,739 --> 00:17:52,574 See. 415 00:17:53,841 --> 00:17:55,242 - It's super cramped. - (Frankie laughs) 416 00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,578 It actually kind of works. 417 00:17:58,046 --> 00:18:00,414 (soft music) 418 00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:06,453 - (soft piano music) - ♪ Shriek like moaning lovers ♪ 419 00:18:06,955 --> 00:18:10,457 ♪ All the love is flowing ♪ 420 00:18:11,626 --> 00:18:12,894 (thuds) 421 00:18:12,927 --> 00:18:14,428 And you better be better tonight. 422 00:18:16,564 --> 00:18:20,001 ♪ All the love is flowing from my heart ♪ 423 00:18:20,034 --> 00:18:22,570 (phone buzzes) 424 00:18:23,638 --> 00:18:28,610 - (people chattering) - (soft piano music) 425 00:18:31,445 --> 00:18:35,382 ♪ Flowing from my heart ♪ 426 00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:40,088 ♪ All the love is flowing from my heart ♪ 427 00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:46,995 - (soft piano music) - (people chattering) 428 00:19:01,609 --> 00:19:02,777 Psst. 429 00:19:08,750 --> 00:19:09,784 What are you doing? 430 00:19:11,519 --> 00:19:12,720 Trying to keep a low profile. 431 00:19:12,754 --> 00:19:14,388 They don't much like me here. 432 00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:15,590 Remember? 433 00:19:15,623 --> 00:19:16,524 You got a phone? 434 00:19:19,761 --> 00:19:21,395 I thought phones were crack cocaine. 435 00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:23,831 Well, to defeat the beast, first you gotta 436 00:19:23,865 --> 00:19:24,732 get inside its belly. 437 00:19:24,766 --> 00:19:25,600 Look... 438 00:19:27,635 --> 00:19:29,202 I'm gonna cut to the chase, kid. 439 00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:32,607 I think you got potential. 440 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:33,641 I wanna make your next picture. 441 00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:37,111 - Really? - Yeah. 442 00:19:39,947 --> 00:19:41,015 What? Now? 443 00:19:41,049 --> 00:19:41,683 Yeah, right now, let's go. 444 00:19:41,716 --> 00:19:42,917 No. 445 00:19:42,950 --> 00:19:43,918 I'm in the middle of my shift. 446 00:19:43,951 --> 00:19:45,019 Eh, fuck your shift. 447 00:19:45,053 --> 00:19:45,920 (Frankie laughs) 448 00:19:45,953 --> 00:19:47,254 Come on. 449 00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:48,756 Not everyone can fuck the shift. 450 00:19:48,790 --> 00:19:50,658 Some people have to go to their shifts. 451 00:19:50,692 --> 00:19:52,660 Some people. You want to be those some people? 452 00:19:52,694 --> 00:19:53,761 No. 453 00:19:53,795 --> 00:19:55,228 You wanna be what then? 454 00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,099 The other kind of person. 455 00:19:58,132 --> 00:19:59,734 So show me. Fuck the shift. 456 00:20:00,702 --> 00:20:01,869 Fuck the shift. 457 00:20:01,903 --> 00:20:02,704 Fuck the shift. 458 00:20:02,737 --> 00:20:03,705 Fuck this place. 459 00:20:03,738 --> 00:20:05,305 Fuck this place. 460 00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:06,874 Fuck dressing up in a fucking baby costume. 461 00:20:06,908 --> 00:20:08,109 Yeah, yeah. 462 00:20:08,142 --> 00:20:08,943 Fuck people who shit in sinks. 463 00:20:08,976 --> 00:20:10,044 Fuck people who- 464 00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:11,278 - Wait, wh... - Yeah. 465 00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,380 Fuck my boss, fuck my uniform. 466 00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:14,414 Okay, let's go. 467 00:20:16,517 --> 00:20:18,052 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 468 00:20:18,086 --> 00:20:19,554 Whoa, where's your car? 469 00:20:19,587 --> 00:20:20,521 I sold it. 470 00:20:20,555 --> 00:20:21,354 I had to pay rent. 471 00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:22,222 Are you serious? 472 00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:24,357 Mhm. Let's go. 473 00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:26,194 Uh... 474 00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:28,896 (Link groaning) 475 00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:33,500 Three, two, one, blast off. 476 00:20:33,534 --> 00:20:36,003 Whoa, watch the pole, watch the pole. 477 00:20:36,037 --> 00:20:37,739 On to the new world! 478 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:42,510 (upbeat synth pop music) 479 00:20:42,543 --> 00:20:43,678 What if I covered your eyes? 480 00:20:43,711 --> 00:20:44,746 I'd be like don't cover my eyes. 481 00:20:44,779 --> 00:20:46,379 No, no, no, no, no, no. 482 00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:50,283 (soft synth music) 483 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,589 (Link grunts) 484 00:20:54,622 --> 00:20:55,455 What have I done? 485 00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:02,262 You did an amazing thing. (chuckles) 486 00:21:02,295 --> 00:21:04,665 I walked out on my job. 487 00:21:04,699 --> 00:21:08,536 I have no money and no idea how to get any. 488 00:21:10,571 --> 00:21:11,773 This is the beginning. 489 00:21:12,707 --> 00:21:14,041 Of unemployment. 490 00:21:14,075 --> 00:21:15,275 No. 491 00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:18,179 Well, yeah, but of everything. 492 00:21:18,212 --> 00:21:20,081 Now you could just concentrate on your art. 493 00:21:20,114 --> 00:21:21,082 Mhm. 494 00:21:21,115 --> 00:21:22,315 That's a great idea. 495 00:21:23,785 --> 00:21:25,219 What are you doing? 496 00:21:25,253 --> 00:21:27,054 - (Link grumbling) - (breathing heavily) 497 00:21:27,088 --> 00:21:27,989 I'm uncomfortable. 498 00:21:29,791 --> 00:21:30,691 (Link grunts) 499 00:21:30,725 --> 00:21:31,559 Get out. 500 00:21:33,094 --> 00:21:34,494 We gotta cast demons out. 501 00:21:35,563 --> 00:21:36,864 - Gotta get the demons out. - No, no, no, no. 502 00:21:36,898 --> 00:21:38,298 That's dumb. 503 00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:39,534 - No demons. - Yeah, no, it's dumb. 504 00:21:39,567 --> 00:21:40,935 You gotta be dumb to be smart. 505 00:21:40,968 --> 00:21:42,103 (laughs) 506 00:21:42,136 --> 00:21:43,104 No, no, no, no, no. 507 00:21:43,137 --> 00:21:44,105 This is dumb. 508 00:21:44,138 --> 00:21:45,640 We have to cast 'em out. 509 00:21:45,673 --> 00:21:47,141 - We gotta cast 'em out. - What are you- 510 00:21:47,175 --> 00:21:48,543 Cast out the demons. 511 00:21:48,576 --> 00:21:50,978 Come on, I don't wanna dance alone. 512 00:21:51,012 --> 00:21:55,283 - Come on, dance with me. - ♪ Come on and be with me ♪ 513 00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:58,920 ♪ Let it be ♪ 514 00:21:58,953 --> 00:22:02,723 ♪ My love keeps growing on ♪ 515 00:22:02,757 --> 00:22:06,594 ♪ So come on, lead ♪ 516 00:22:06,627 --> 00:22:10,565 ♪ Been cookin' myself for you ♪ 517 00:22:10,598 --> 00:22:15,169 ♪ You mean that much to me ♪ 518 00:22:15,203 --> 00:22:19,907 ♪ For the rest, rest of my life ♪ 519 00:22:19,941 --> 00:22:22,977 (upbeat disco music) 520 00:22:27,648 --> 00:22:29,116 Oh, you didn't have to move. 521 00:22:29,150 --> 00:22:30,184 I just put it right in your pocket. 522 00:22:30,218 --> 00:22:31,519 Okay fine, I won't move. 523 00:22:31,552 --> 00:22:35,156 No. (laughing) 524 00:22:35,189 --> 00:22:38,292 (upbeat disco music) 525 00:22:39,861 --> 00:22:42,630 ♪ See your lovin', babe ♪ 526 00:22:42,663 --> 00:22:43,664 - Okay, you're a ninja. - Mhm. 527 00:22:43,698 --> 00:22:45,099 I'm a ninja. 528 00:22:45,132 --> 00:22:47,101 You give one attack and one retreat. 529 00:22:47,134 --> 00:22:48,536 Quick, south paw. 530 00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:52,039 (Frankie yells) 531 00:22:52,907 --> 00:22:55,076 (howling) 532 00:22:56,043 --> 00:23:00,848 ♪ Love you, love you ♪ 533 00:23:00,882 --> 00:23:02,984 ♪ Love you, baby, all night ♪ 534 00:23:03,017 --> 00:23:05,219 I think my mom thinks I'm a fuck up. 535 00:23:11,092 --> 00:23:12,193 You are a fuck up. 536 00:23:14,996 --> 00:23:16,097 She's a fuck up. 537 00:23:17,430 --> 00:23:18,398 I'm a fuck up. 538 00:23:22,570 --> 00:23:23,905 Everybody's a fuck up right now. 539 00:23:23,938 --> 00:23:26,140 That's just the setup. 540 00:23:26,173 --> 00:23:28,776 No one feels like they belong, you know? 541 00:23:30,278 --> 00:23:31,879 People just exploding. 542 00:23:34,248 --> 00:23:36,717 You know, there are people out there right now 543 00:23:36,751 --> 00:23:38,686 who don't identify as human. 544 00:23:38,719 --> 00:23:43,391 They think they're animals trapped in the wrong body, 545 00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:45,159 and they're driving corporations nuts 546 00:23:45,192 --> 00:23:47,395 because of how do you market sneakers to someone 547 00:23:47,427 --> 00:23:48,562 who thinks he's a cat? 548 00:23:52,366 --> 00:23:53,433 What? 549 00:23:53,466 --> 00:23:54,302 That's it. 550 00:23:55,369 --> 00:23:56,570 What did I say? 551 00:23:56,604 --> 00:23:58,940 Exactly. You have to say stuff. 552 00:23:58,973 --> 00:24:00,508 Like the animal stuff? What are you talking about? 553 00:24:00,541 --> 00:24:01,876 No. 554 00:24:01,909 --> 00:24:03,344 Um... 555 00:24:03,377 --> 00:24:04,211 Ah... 556 00:24:05,713 --> 00:24:06,547 Okay. 557 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:13,921 That's what people are responding to, 558 00:24:13,955 --> 00:24:15,690 is you saying stuff, so all I have to do 559 00:24:15,723 --> 00:24:17,425 is figure out how to capture you saying stuff 560 00:24:17,457 --> 00:24:20,328 without it just being you saying stuff. 561 00:24:26,934 --> 00:24:28,235 Bud, you're putting me as such a bad pos... 562 00:24:28,269 --> 00:24:29,469 I've seen a lot of fake IDs. 563 00:24:29,503 --> 00:24:30,905 This is so terrible. 564 00:24:30,938 --> 00:24:32,940 This is such a terrible idea. 565 00:24:32,974 --> 00:24:35,576 Like the sticker's coming off. Do better. 566 00:24:35,609 --> 00:24:36,644 Just go get drunk. 567 00:24:37,511 --> 00:24:38,512 Don't get too drunk. 568 00:24:47,254 --> 00:24:48,055 Psst. 569 00:24:48,089 --> 00:24:50,091 (gasps) 570 00:24:51,592 --> 00:24:52,526 What's up? 571 00:24:53,493 --> 00:24:55,463 We're starting a band. 572 00:24:55,495 --> 00:24:56,797 Are, are you guys high? 573 00:24:57,765 --> 00:24:59,667 We need a writer. We suck. 574 00:24:59,700 --> 00:25:01,235 Are you in? 575 00:25:01,268 --> 00:25:02,770 You need a writer? For what? 576 00:25:04,839 --> 00:25:05,940 A secret project. 577 00:25:08,209 --> 00:25:09,243 (upbeat percussive music) 578 00:25:09,276 --> 00:25:10,277 Oh shit, mom, I gotta go. 579 00:25:10,311 --> 00:25:11,145 Yo, yo, what's up? 580 00:25:11,178 --> 00:25:12,947 Yo, what's up? 581 00:25:12,980 --> 00:25:14,348 Thanks for tuning in and checking out this video. 582 00:25:14,382 --> 00:25:15,416 Checking out this video. 583 00:25:15,449 --> 00:25:17,518 Rock effect. 584 00:25:17,551 --> 00:25:19,954 My motherfucking life and all the dope ass shit around me. 585 00:25:19,987 --> 00:25:21,956 Parents use YouTube as a babysitter. 586 00:25:21,989 --> 00:25:24,191 Like my little niece who's seven years old, 587 00:25:24,225 --> 00:25:26,694 she worships these guys who do and say nothing 588 00:25:26,727 --> 00:25:28,796 and promote a lifestyle of doing and saying nothing. 589 00:25:28,829 --> 00:25:30,031 I don't even need this phone. 590 00:25:30,064 --> 00:25:31,298 (girls scream) 591 00:25:31,332 --> 00:25:32,299 Is it okay? 592 00:25:32,333 --> 00:25:33,300 All right. (laughs) 593 00:25:33,334 --> 00:25:34,869 I need it. (laughs) 594 00:25:34,902 --> 00:25:36,637 They're sucked in and they're like watching 595 00:25:36,670 --> 00:25:38,139 the same kind of videos that they're always watching 596 00:25:38,172 --> 00:25:39,373 and at the end, boom, it's a satire. 597 00:25:39,407 --> 00:25:41,275 Yo, why is my existence so lit? 598 00:25:41,308 --> 00:25:42,877 Why is my life so lit? 599 00:25:42,910 --> 00:25:44,812 Let's start with this eagle's nest behind me. 600 00:25:44,845 --> 00:25:46,147 I know how to shoot it, too. 601 00:25:47,915 --> 00:25:49,717 You gotta see this. 602 00:25:49,750 --> 00:25:51,719 Yo, eight million big ones, eight million big ones. 603 00:25:51,752 --> 00:25:53,454 We've got to do everything we can 604 00:25:53,487 --> 00:25:54,855 to make our thing look as crappy as their thing. 605 00:25:54,889 --> 00:25:55,956 That's brilliant. 606 00:25:55,990 --> 00:25:57,625 All right. Let's do it. 607 00:25:57,658 --> 00:26:00,661 Seven bedrooms and dos Mother Hubbard piscinas. 608 00:26:01,595 --> 00:26:03,197 Is that right? Is that Spanish? 609 00:26:03,230 --> 00:26:05,166 Think that's Italian. 610 00:26:05,199 --> 00:26:07,134 Regulation height for a hoop is like 10 feet. 611 00:26:07,168 --> 00:26:08,736 I keep mine at seven. You know why? 612 00:26:08,769 --> 00:26:10,004 I got a small penis. 613 00:26:10,037 --> 00:26:11,705 Hashtag be yourself. 614 00:26:11,739 --> 00:26:13,674 That's my message to the world is be yourself. 615 00:26:13,707 --> 00:26:15,409 That's what I do and look what I got. 616 00:26:15,443 --> 00:26:17,512 Hashtag swimming pool, hashtag cocktail, 617 00:26:17,546 --> 00:26:19,046 hashtag this pineapple life. 618 00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:20,981 Yo, it's so important to be yourself, 619 00:26:21,015 --> 00:26:22,416 but only your best parts only, only your pretty parts. 620 00:26:22,450 --> 00:26:23,717 Not that weak shit. 621 00:26:23,751 --> 00:26:25,086 Yo, is that right? Is that... 622 00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:26,420 That's the message, right? 623 00:26:28,222 --> 00:26:30,157 (splashing) 624 00:26:30,191 --> 00:26:32,193 When I see other celebrities like on the 'gram and shit, 625 00:26:32,226 --> 00:26:33,761 I feel kind of bad about myself, so I buy more stuff. 626 00:26:33,794 --> 00:26:35,496 Hashtag when, hashtag why, hashtag wow. 627 00:26:35,530 --> 00:26:36,864 Which is great, 'cause then I just end up 628 00:26:36,897 --> 00:26:39,333 with so much, you know, stuff. 629 00:26:39,366 --> 00:26:41,368 Stuff makes me feel like, 630 00:26:41,402 --> 00:26:43,938 like less than empty inside, you know? 631 00:26:43,971 --> 00:26:45,606 Hashtag when is it too much? 632 00:26:45,639 --> 00:26:47,408 Hashtag when is it all going to stop? 633 00:26:47,441 --> 00:26:48,776 - Hey you! - (gun cocks) 634 00:26:48,809 --> 00:26:50,177 - Shit! - Get off my property! 635 00:26:50,211 --> 00:26:51,378 - We got the wrong house! - (gunshot) 636 00:26:51,412 --> 00:26:52,413 - Sorry! - Get outta here! 637 00:26:52,446 --> 00:26:54,516 I got, I got confused! 638 00:26:54,549 --> 00:26:55,550 I got confused! 639 00:26:55,584 --> 00:26:57,618 (laughing) 640 00:26:57,651 --> 00:26:59,386 - Come on, come on, come on! - Fuck! 641 00:26:59,420 --> 00:27:00,387 Jesus. 642 00:27:00,421 --> 00:27:01,556 All right, where are we? 643 00:27:02,957 --> 00:27:05,826 Oh my god, I'm spiraling right now. 644 00:27:08,162 --> 00:27:09,363 I've been getting it all wrong. 645 00:27:09,396 --> 00:27:11,298 I've been poisoning y'all. 646 00:27:11,332 --> 00:27:12,366 You can't be following me. 647 00:27:12,399 --> 00:27:13,568 I don't... 648 00:27:13,602 --> 00:27:14,902 I ain't nothin'. I ain't nobody. 649 00:27:14,935 --> 00:27:16,237 I'm no one. 650 00:27:16,270 --> 00:27:18,405 Like I'm no one special, man. 651 00:27:18,439 --> 00:27:20,407 We gotta wake ourselves up. 652 00:27:20,441 --> 00:27:22,309 Oh, it feels so good to be free. 653 00:27:25,112 --> 00:27:27,414 I'm reborn, man, I'm reborn. 654 00:27:28,749 --> 00:27:29,618 Can you relate? 655 00:27:30,619 --> 00:27:32,253 Someone stole my pants. 656 00:27:32,286 --> 00:27:33,120 Woo! 657 00:27:34,488 --> 00:27:36,790 We're going back to nature, baby. 658 00:27:36,824 --> 00:27:38,259 Yo, you don't need any of that shit. 659 00:27:38,292 --> 00:27:39,561 You don't need any of that shit. 660 00:27:39,594 --> 00:27:40,629 Can I get an amen? 661 00:27:40,661 --> 00:27:42,129 Can I get an amen baby? 662 00:27:42,163 --> 00:27:43,397 Who's with me? 663 00:27:43,430 --> 00:27:44,665 Y'all feelin' me? 664 00:27:44,698 --> 00:27:45,799 Can you relate? 665 00:27:45,833 --> 00:27:46,834 Can you relate? 666 00:27:46,867 --> 00:27:49,103 Yeah! You can relate! 667 00:27:49,136 --> 00:27:50,304 You're feelin' me! 668 00:27:50,337 --> 00:27:51,606 - Woo! - What the hell? 669 00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:52,641 Hey! 670 00:27:52,673 --> 00:27:53,841 Man, got any spare pants? 671 00:27:53,874 --> 00:27:55,242 Hey. Hey man, hey. 672 00:27:55,276 --> 00:27:56,578 Oh what's up, baby? 673 00:27:56,611 --> 00:27:57,845 - What's up? - Face that way. 674 00:27:57,878 --> 00:27:59,648 - Hey, I know you! - Face that wall. 675 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:01,248 I know you. 676 00:28:01,282 --> 00:28:02,517 I just woke up in my soul, in my heart. 677 00:28:03,450 --> 00:28:04,586 You feelin' me baby? 678 00:28:04,619 --> 00:28:06,987 I know you feelin' me baby, yes. 679 00:28:07,021 --> 00:28:08,322 Can I get an amen? 680 00:28:08,355 --> 00:28:09,924 Where am I? 681 00:28:09,957 --> 00:28:11,158 Where am I? 682 00:28:11,192 --> 00:28:13,662 Oh, I love this town. 683 00:28:13,694 --> 00:28:16,297 I love you. I love you so much. 684 00:28:17,331 --> 00:28:18,499 Holy shit. 685 00:28:18,533 --> 00:28:20,669 Holy shit. You gotta see this. 686 00:28:20,701 --> 00:28:21,702 Whoa. 687 00:28:21,735 --> 00:28:23,204 Look at all the comments. 688 00:28:23,237 --> 00:28:24,872 "I want this guy to run me over in a truck 689 00:28:24,905 --> 00:28:26,273 and then reverse over my dead body." 690 00:28:26,307 --> 00:28:27,107 That's interesting. 691 00:28:27,141 --> 00:28:28,309 Oh my God. 692 00:28:28,342 --> 00:28:30,110 Juanpa just sent me a selfie. 693 00:28:30,144 --> 00:28:31,312 He wants to do an interview with you. 694 00:28:31,345 --> 00:28:32,681 Juanpa's huge. 695 00:28:32,713 --> 00:28:34,014 Juanpa's huge. 696 00:28:34,048 --> 00:28:35,216 I don't, I don't know who that is. 697 00:28:35,249 --> 00:28:36,884 Guys, guys, look at the views. 698 00:28:40,254 --> 00:28:42,423 (screams) 699 00:28:43,424 --> 00:28:47,928 (Juanpa speaking in foreign language) 700 00:28:51,232 --> 00:28:54,835 We are officially live, ladies and gentlemen. 701 00:28:54,868 --> 00:28:56,036 Welcome. 702 00:28:56,070 --> 00:28:57,505 This is a very special episode 703 00:28:57,539 --> 00:28:59,306 because we got a very rare guest. 704 00:28:59,340 --> 00:29:02,309 Please give it up for No One Special. 705 00:29:02,343 --> 00:29:04,078 - (clapping) - Woo hoo hoo! 706 00:29:04,111 --> 00:29:06,013 And by the way, I'm not being a terrible friend here. 707 00:29:06,046 --> 00:29:07,582 That's how you call yourself, right? 708 00:29:07,616 --> 00:29:09,651 That's my name. It's my given name. 709 00:29:09,684 --> 00:29:10,818 - No. - At birth, yeah. 710 00:29:10,851 --> 00:29:11,885 No One Special. 711 00:29:11,919 --> 00:29:13,354 Wow. 712 00:29:13,387 --> 00:29:14,922 No one is like one word and then special. 713 00:29:14,955 --> 00:29:16,423 Like we're all kind of no one special. 714 00:29:16,457 --> 00:29:17,258 That's just kind of the idea, right? 715 00:29:17,291 --> 00:29:18,693 Yeah. 716 00:29:18,727 --> 00:29:20,160 We're all the same. We're all equal. 717 00:29:20,194 --> 00:29:21,362 Okay. Okay, let's try this again. 718 00:29:21,395 --> 00:29:22,930 - When I clap... - Yeah. 719 00:29:22,963 --> 00:29:26,000 You, you like jump and fall into frame. 720 00:29:26,033 --> 00:29:27,768 All right. 721 00:29:27,801 --> 00:29:28,769 So I'll clap and I'll stop and then you jump in. 722 00:29:28,802 --> 00:29:29,770 All right. Let's try it. 723 00:29:29,803 --> 00:29:30,739 - Okay? - Yep. 724 00:29:30,771 --> 00:29:31,706 Here it is. 725 00:29:31,740 --> 00:29:32,773 No One Special! 726 00:29:33,941 --> 00:29:36,277 Oh my God! 727 00:29:36,310 --> 00:29:38,580 I've never seen Juanpa this happy before. 728 00:29:38,613 --> 00:29:39,780 A couple of questions for you. 729 00:29:39,813 --> 00:29:40,615 Go on. 730 00:29:40,649 --> 00:29:41,849 Uh... 731 00:29:41,882 --> 00:29:42,550 Can I just do this real quick? 732 00:29:42,584 --> 00:29:43,752 Yeah. 733 00:29:43,784 --> 00:29:44,952 Sorry, I've been wanting like, 734 00:29:44,985 --> 00:29:46,420 since I like laid eyes on you, 735 00:29:46,453 --> 00:29:47,388 I've just been wanting to like... 736 00:29:47,421 --> 00:29:48,122 His name is Isaac. 737 00:29:48,155 --> 00:29:48,956 Oh wow. 738 00:29:48,989 --> 00:29:50,692 Pretty deep. 739 00:29:50,725 --> 00:29:52,293 Pretty deep first moments with No One Special. 740 00:29:52,326 --> 00:29:53,961 I just feel like we need experience other... 741 00:29:53,994 --> 00:29:55,429 All right, all right, do we first bump now? 742 00:29:55,462 --> 00:29:56,930 No, I just hump you with my beard. 743 00:29:56,964 --> 00:29:57,965 Can we just fist bump? (Link laughs) 744 00:29:57,998 --> 00:29:59,900 Okay, anyways. Boom, bam. 745 00:29:59,933 --> 00:30:01,902 Your boyfriend's fine. 746 00:30:01,935 --> 00:30:03,404 - He's not my boyfriend. - He's not my boyfriend. 747 00:30:03,437 --> 00:30:05,406 I uh, I represent Juanpa. 748 00:30:05,439 --> 00:30:08,208 So what's what's the next thing for No One Special? 749 00:30:08,242 --> 00:30:09,276 What's the next thing for No One... 750 00:30:09,310 --> 00:30:10,745 I don't know. 751 00:30:10,779 --> 00:30:11,780 - I'm just here with Juanpa. - Yeah? 752 00:30:11,812 --> 00:30:13,147 Here with my hero Juanpa. 753 00:30:13,180 --> 00:30:14,415 Eh ah, I'm not your hero, come on. 754 00:30:14,448 --> 00:30:16,250 You guys need anything, 755 00:30:16,283 --> 00:30:17,251 I want you to... 756 00:30:17,284 --> 00:30:19,920 (wrappers crinkling) 757 00:30:19,953 --> 00:30:24,958 - Give me a call. - (upbeat synth pop music) 758 00:30:25,459 --> 00:30:27,328 Hey, just take a photo of it. 759 00:30:27,361 --> 00:30:29,229 Yeah, I got it. 760 00:30:29,263 --> 00:30:30,331 I'm Mark Schwartz. 761 00:30:31,599 --> 00:30:33,300 - I'm the guy behind the guy. - I got a idea, yeah. 762 00:30:33,334 --> 00:30:35,603 I want to invite these guys to join us on something. 763 00:30:35,637 --> 00:30:37,237 - You want to go with me? - Bring it. 764 00:30:37,271 --> 00:30:38,773 Me and Juanpa have an invitation for you. 765 00:30:38,807 --> 00:30:40,608 We want you to join us tomorrow night 766 00:30:40,642 --> 00:30:43,678 at Four Stone Cemetery or go to any graveyard near you, 767 00:30:43,712 --> 00:30:45,179 and we, we're gonna have a party. 768 00:30:45,212 --> 00:30:46,815 You're gonna bring your cell phones, 769 00:30:46,847 --> 00:30:48,449 but then you're going to place it on a grave, 770 00:30:48,482 --> 00:30:50,117 you're going to turn the screen to white, 771 00:30:50,150 --> 00:30:51,586 and together for one night only we're going 772 00:30:51,619 --> 00:30:53,087 to experience something real together. 773 00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:54,455 We are going to ghost the internet. 774 00:30:54,488 --> 00:30:56,890 You, me... 775 00:30:58,325 --> 00:31:00,194 And Juanpa. 776 00:31:00,227 --> 00:31:01,696 Would you rather have everything and understand nothing 777 00:31:01,730 --> 00:31:04,198 or understand everything and have nothing? 778 00:31:04,231 --> 00:31:05,800 Um, have everything. 779 00:31:05,834 --> 00:31:07,334 Yeah, you'd understand nothing, though. 780 00:31:07,368 --> 00:31:08,603 (laughing) Yeah. 781 00:31:08,636 --> 00:31:09,771 That's the premise of the joke. 782 00:31:09,804 --> 00:31:11,706 - That's hard. - But no, 783 00:31:11,740 --> 00:31:13,608 I would just eat donuts and ride around in a baby carriage 784 00:31:13,641 --> 00:31:16,009 with a chauffeur and I would buy sunglasses all day. 785 00:31:16,043 --> 00:31:17,144 Yes, I'd wear a muumuu. 786 00:31:17,177 --> 00:31:18,379 I would wear no underwear. 787 00:31:18,412 --> 00:31:20,114 Do another one. Do another one. 788 00:31:20,147 --> 00:31:21,315 Uh, would you rather have permanent diarrhea 789 00:31:21,348 --> 00:31:22,550 or have penises for fingers? 790 00:31:22,584 --> 00:31:23,785 You'd have penises for fingers. 791 00:31:23,818 --> 00:31:25,319 Penis for fingers, obviously. 792 00:31:25,352 --> 00:31:27,020 Yeah, because like, it'd be like this. 793 00:31:27,054 --> 00:31:28,523 Hey, nice to meet you. 794 00:31:28,556 --> 00:31:29,923 And then just like whoa. 795 00:31:30,825 --> 00:31:32,660 Everyone would know how you felt all the time. 796 00:31:32,694 --> 00:31:34,395 - (laughing) - Yeah. 797 00:31:34,428 --> 00:31:35,496 That's the only danger 'cause it's like people 798 00:31:35,530 --> 00:31:36,497 will get uncomfortable. 799 00:31:36,531 --> 00:31:39,199 Don't tread on that. 800 00:31:39,233 --> 00:31:40,501 - Okay. - You can walk over it. 801 00:31:40,535 --> 00:31:42,670 (laughing) 802 00:31:42,704 --> 00:31:43,805 (people chattering) 803 00:31:43,838 --> 00:31:45,305 Whoa. 804 00:31:45,339 --> 00:31:46,541 Whoa. 805 00:31:46,574 --> 00:31:47,441 Holy shit. 806 00:31:48,442 --> 00:31:51,211 (people chattering) 807 00:31:51,245 --> 00:31:53,815 - People came. - (Link sighs) 808 00:31:53,848 --> 00:31:58,051 ♪ No one wants to be the odd one out at times ♪ 809 00:31:58,085 --> 00:31:59,521 ♪ No one wants to be the 810 00:31:59,554 --> 00:32:01,288 All right. Let's go say hi. 811 00:32:02,456 --> 00:32:03,558 (Jake chuckles) 812 00:32:03,591 --> 00:32:04,391 Yeah. 813 00:32:04,425 --> 00:32:05,259 Do, um... 814 00:32:07,595 --> 00:32:09,229 Is that No One Special? 815 00:32:09,263 --> 00:32:12,065 Hey, it's No One Special. 816 00:32:12,099 --> 00:32:13,701 - You're even bigger in person. - Hi. 817 00:32:13,735 --> 00:32:15,202 Hi, how are you? 818 00:32:15,235 --> 00:32:17,337 Guys, what the hell? 819 00:32:17,371 --> 00:32:19,039 (people cheering) 820 00:32:19,072 --> 00:32:20,842 We didn't expect anybody to come. 821 00:32:20,875 --> 00:32:23,243 - Yo, yo, yo! - (people cheering) 822 00:32:23,277 --> 00:32:24,779 This is crazy, this is crazy. 823 00:32:24,813 --> 00:32:26,681 Yo, yo, don't wake the dead. 824 00:32:26,714 --> 00:32:28,248 So seriously, anybody who's still got a cellphone, 825 00:32:28,282 --> 00:32:30,217 put 'em on a grave and let 'em light up 826 00:32:30,250 --> 00:32:32,554 like fireflies all through the night. 827 00:32:32,587 --> 00:32:33,588 (people cheering) 828 00:32:33,621 --> 00:32:35,757 And then we'll just hang! 829 00:32:35,790 --> 00:32:37,224 Hey, this is all that matters 830 00:32:37,257 --> 00:32:39,259 - is that we're all here. - (cheering) 831 00:32:39,293 --> 00:32:40,862 Oh my god. 832 00:32:40,895 --> 00:32:41,962 It's crazy how good at this he is, huh? 833 00:32:43,330 --> 00:32:48,335 - (people chattering) - (soft piano music) 834 00:32:55,108 --> 00:32:56,811 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no 835 00:32:56,845 --> 00:32:59,781 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no selfies. 836 00:32:59,814 --> 00:33:01,482 Tonight this is just about us hanging out together. 837 00:33:01,516 --> 00:33:03,250 All of us together. How about a hug? 838 00:33:03,283 --> 00:33:05,319 Give you a hug? Yeah, I'll give you a hug. 839 00:33:05,352 --> 00:33:07,321 Put 'em on a gravestone, set the screen to white. 840 00:33:07,354 --> 00:33:09,056 Let the battery die out like we said, okay? 841 00:33:09,089 --> 00:33:11,726 Get rid of them phones man. 842 00:33:11,759 --> 00:33:13,060 - (man mumbles) - Whoa, bud. 843 00:33:13,093 --> 00:33:14,294 Yo, who's got a drink? 844 00:33:15,329 --> 00:33:16,798 (laughing) 845 00:33:16,831 --> 00:33:17,998 All right, that's good. 846 00:33:18,031 --> 00:33:19,032 Who's got something to smoke? 847 00:33:20,969 --> 00:33:25,974 - (people chattering) - (soft piano music) 848 00:33:28,275 --> 00:33:30,244 Cheers, dad. I liked this one. 849 00:33:30,277 --> 00:33:31,546 Peach apple iced tea. 850 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:38,285 - (soft piano music) - (people chattering) 851 00:33:43,658 --> 00:33:45,292 Hello, this is Mark Schwartz. 852 00:33:45,325 --> 00:33:46,861 I hear things are really going great down there 853 00:33:46,895 --> 00:33:49,797 at the cemetery, which I don't often say. 854 00:33:49,831 --> 00:33:52,634 Why don't we meet at my office Monday morning, 10:00 AM? 855 00:33:54,903 --> 00:33:56,336 Who wants that? 856 00:33:57,237 --> 00:34:02,242 - (people chattering) - (soft piano music) 857 00:34:02,977 --> 00:34:05,680 Be right back. (grunts) 858 00:34:07,314 --> 00:34:12,319 - (people chattering) - (soft music) 859 00:34:13,688 --> 00:34:16,189 (tense music) 860 00:34:21,896 --> 00:34:24,164 You're my little brother, I love you. 861 00:34:24,197 --> 00:34:26,668 - Yeah, yeah. - I just wanna talk to you. 862 00:34:26,701 --> 00:34:30,838 It's not a fuckin' ruse. It's not a fuckin' ruse. 863 00:34:30,872 --> 00:34:32,507 Bullshit. 864 00:34:32,540 --> 00:34:34,174 What the fuck? Where are you fucking going? 865 00:34:34,207 --> 00:34:35,043 Hey! 866 00:34:36,243 --> 00:34:38,580 Where are you fucking going? 867 00:34:41,281 --> 00:34:44,052 (birds chirping) 868 00:35:13,881 --> 00:35:17,885 (car puttering in the distance) 869 00:35:28,328 --> 00:35:30,163 I was in the car with my dad. 870 00:35:33,901 --> 00:35:36,070 We hit a tree and he died instantly. 871 00:35:39,473 --> 00:35:41,475 He was taking me to a friend's house. 872 00:35:43,978 --> 00:35:48,983 - I wanted to go to this party. - (melancholy music) 873 00:35:49,349 --> 00:35:51,786 (Link sighs) 874 00:36:05,867 --> 00:36:10,538 - (chattering) - (laughing) 875 00:36:20,982 --> 00:36:23,551 (upbeat music) 876 00:36:28,488 --> 00:36:30,490 No, doesn't even work. 877 00:36:32,860 --> 00:36:34,361 That's disgusting. 878 00:36:35,228 --> 00:36:37,832 (upbeat music) 879 00:36:39,399 --> 00:36:41,669 (buzzing) 880 00:36:41,703 --> 00:36:44,539 (door buzzes) 881 00:36:44,572 --> 00:36:47,775 (upbeat music) 882 00:36:47,809 --> 00:36:49,376 Yeah, who gives a fuck about this guy? 883 00:36:50,745 --> 00:36:53,380 Who's that guy that you were talking to in the graveyard? 884 00:37:01,089 --> 00:37:01,889 Hey. 885 00:37:01,923 --> 00:37:03,323 Hey. 886 00:37:03,356 --> 00:37:05,993 Hey. 887 00:37:06,027 --> 00:37:06,928 - Hey - Hey. 888 00:37:08,529 --> 00:37:10,565 (toilet flushes) 889 00:37:10,598 --> 00:37:12,166 (door closes) 890 00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:14,301 These marketing assholes. Story of my life. 891 00:37:14,334 --> 00:37:15,368 I'm on mute. Don't worry about it. 892 00:37:15,402 --> 00:37:17,038 How are you? 893 00:37:17,071 --> 00:37:19,173 Sorry I've been on this call for six hours. 894 00:37:19,207 --> 00:37:22,710 Hey guys. This is Mark chiming in here again. 895 00:37:22,744 --> 00:37:25,179 $500,000 or go away. 896 00:37:25,213 --> 00:37:27,014 You've got 30 seconds to say yes. 897 00:37:27,048 --> 00:37:28,583 Every time you don't say yes, 898 00:37:28,616 --> 00:37:30,585 it's going to go up 10 grand, all right? 899 00:37:30,618 --> 00:37:31,853 Mute. 900 00:37:31,886 --> 00:37:32,887 I swear to God. 901 00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:33,988 Um, here's a bad sign. 902 00:37:34,021 --> 00:37:35,156 We're a sports company. 903 00:37:35,189 --> 00:37:36,858 We'd like to work with you. 904 00:37:36,891 --> 00:37:38,092 Every single executive who works with us is fat. 905 00:37:38,126 --> 00:37:39,761 Mark, we can hear you. 906 00:37:39,794 --> 00:37:40,628 Hello? 907 00:37:41,863 --> 00:37:44,297 (Link laughs) 908 00:37:45,233 --> 00:37:46,200 No One Special. 909 00:37:47,101 --> 00:37:48,603 It's a pleasure. 910 00:37:48,636 --> 00:37:50,071 I haven't seen everything, 911 00:37:50,104 --> 00:37:51,672 but what I've seen, I really love. 912 00:37:51,706 --> 00:37:53,241 And you want to make some money off us. 913 00:37:53,273 --> 00:37:54,742 The little I've seen, you've changed me, 914 00:37:54,776 --> 00:37:56,043 and I think I don't want to hoard that. 915 00:37:56,077 --> 00:37:57,245 I want everyone to feel that way. 916 00:37:57,277 --> 00:37:58,378 Oh, okay. 917 00:37:58,411 --> 00:37:59,614 So you want us to do porn? 918 00:37:59,647 --> 00:38:00,882 No, I don't want you to do porn. 919 00:38:00,915 --> 00:38:02,784 I think he's being metaphorical 920 00:38:02,817 --> 00:38:03,918 because we don't want to put the cart before the horse. 921 00:38:03,951 --> 00:38:05,553 Right. 922 00:38:05,586 --> 00:38:07,121 So you used another metaphor in that metaphor 923 00:38:07,155 --> 00:38:08,523 to explain that one? 924 00:38:08,556 --> 00:38:09,857 You're a writer, right? 925 00:38:09,891 --> 00:38:10,691 - Yeah. - Okay, good. 926 00:38:10,725 --> 00:38:11,559 Here's the deal. 927 00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:13,493 You've got talent. 928 00:38:14,829 --> 00:38:16,864 Do you know where the word talent comes from? 929 00:38:16,898 --> 00:38:18,032 It's Middle English. 930 00:38:18,065 --> 00:38:19,634 Originally talent was money. 931 00:38:19,667 --> 00:38:21,569 How many talents do you have? 932 00:38:21,602 --> 00:38:23,738 Let's say you make a video about a gorilla 933 00:38:23,771 --> 00:38:25,740 eating spaghetti who speaks French. 934 00:38:25,773 --> 00:38:27,608 A thousand people watch it. 935 00:38:27,642 --> 00:38:29,977 The algorithm hears that, sends it to the powers 936 00:38:30,011 --> 00:38:32,880 that be at YouTube, which is really not YouTube, 937 00:38:32,914 --> 00:38:34,414 it's their tube. 938 00:38:34,447 --> 00:38:36,551 They say, hey, we see a lot of people 939 00:38:36,584 --> 00:38:38,586 are coming to you with views. 940 00:38:38,619 --> 00:38:40,487 Well, guess what? 941 00:38:40,521 --> 00:38:42,957 You qualify for a Adidas video in front of your thing. 942 00:38:42,990 --> 00:38:44,058 Would you like to do that? 943 00:38:44,091 --> 00:38:45,827 We'll give you $10,000. 944 00:38:46,761 --> 00:38:47,562 That's great, right? 945 00:38:47,595 --> 00:38:49,396 No. 946 00:38:49,429 --> 00:38:51,666 What you want to do, you go to the brands yourself 947 00:38:51,699 --> 00:38:54,501 or they come to you if you are gaining enough traction 948 00:38:54,535 --> 00:38:57,572 and you aren't represented by anything, stay yourself. 949 00:38:57,605 --> 00:38:59,841 Then Subway comes to you. $200,000. 950 00:38:59,874 --> 00:39:02,109 That was a $200,000 sub. 951 00:39:02,143 --> 00:39:03,343 You want us to endorse brands. 952 00:39:03,376 --> 00:39:05,012 No, no, no. They endorse you. 953 00:39:05,046 --> 00:39:06,013 You don't endorse them. 954 00:39:06,047 --> 00:39:07,815 That's how we work. 955 00:39:07,849 --> 00:39:09,416 Do you want to be the guys that made two cool videos 956 00:39:09,449 --> 00:39:11,285 and then disappeared into the ether? 957 00:39:13,154 --> 00:39:14,956 Or do you want to be No One Special? 958 00:39:15,790 --> 00:39:18,025 (upbeat synth pop music) 959 00:39:18,059 --> 00:39:19,994 I got you the money. I got you the stage. 960 00:39:20,027 --> 00:39:21,762 I'm drafting you right now into the army. 961 00:39:21,796 --> 00:39:23,430 Let's go. Tonight we parachute in. 962 00:39:23,463 --> 00:39:24,832 Jake, you're the writer, you need to write it. 963 00:39:24,866 --> 00:39:26,499 Link, you're gonna act it, 964 00:39:26,534 --> 00:39:28,936 and I'm gonna figure how to fucking do it. 965 00:39:28,970 --> 00:39:32,439 So we have phone or no phone. 966 00:39:32,472 --> 00:39:34,208 That's the question. 967 00:39:34,242 --> 00:39:38,279 Then we have the idea of a game show, a talk show. 968 00:39:38,312 --> 00:39:40,480 What if we put those two ideas together? 969 00:39:40,514 --> 00:39:42,250 Internet killed the TV star? 970 00:39:43,317 --> 00:39:44,552 No. Bad. 971 00:39:44,585 --> 00:39:45,385 Bad idea. 972 00:39:45,418 --> 00:39:46,254 Good idea? 973 00:39:51,391 --> 00:39:54,095 (Frankie laughs) 974 00:39:56,063 --> 00:39:57,464 Oh. 975 00:39:57,497 --> 00:39:58,566 - (Jake groans) - Oh, sorry, sorry. 976 00:39:58,599 --> 00:39:59,867 - (Jake chuckles) - Morning. 977 00:40:02,904 --> 00:40:05,405 (Jake grunts) 978 00:40:08,175 --> 00:40:09,243 Oh, shit. 979 00:40:10,111 --> 00:40:11,078 You all right? 980 00:40:11,112 --> 00:40:11,946 Yeah. 981 00:40:14,048 --> 00:40:16,183 (Link sighs) 982 00:40:16,217 --> 00:40:17,184 Okay. 983 00:40:17,218 --> 00:40:18,052 - Bye. - Bye. 984 00:40:19,687 --> 00:40:20,688 Bye, baby. 985 00:40:31,431 --> 00:40:32,432 You need a ride? 986 00:40:32,465 --> 00:40:34,168 No, I'm good. Thanks. 987 00:40:34,201 --> 00:40:35,236 Good work today, man. 988 00:40:40,408 --> 00:40:42,810 (Link sighs) 989 00:40:52,753 --> 00:40:54,855 I should go, too. 990 00:40:54,889 --> 00:40:55,723 Of course. 991 00:40:56,657 --> 00:40:58,192 Yeah, 'cause I gotta, you know, 992 00:40:58,225 --> 00:40:59,393 I got a big night ahead of me, so... 993 00:40:59,427 --> 00:41:00,695 Oh yeah? 994 00:41:00,728 --> 00:41:01,562 Yeah. 995 00:41:02,763 --> 00:41:03,764 Oh yeah, that thing. 996 00:41:03,798 --> 00:41:05,132 Sorry. I forgot. 997 00:41:05,166 --> 00:41:07,234 - Oh it's a thing, so... - Yeah. 998 00:41:07,268 --> 00:41:09,270 I wouldn't want to get in the way of you doing a thing. 999 00:41:09,303 --> 00:41:10,137 Yeah. 1000 00:41:12,406 --> 00:41:13,574 Mhm. 1001 00:41:13,607 --> 00:41:15,276 That's what I love about you, 1002 00:41:15,309 --> 00:41:16,610 is that you really support me doing my thing. 1003 00:41:23,184 --> 00:41:25,052 I think you're cool. 1004 00:41:25,086 --> 00:41:26,620 All right, bye. 1005 00:41:26,654 --> 00:41:28,823 ♪ You've walked out a hundred times ♪ 1006 00:41:28,856 --> 00:41:32,226 ♪ How was I ♪ 1007 00:41:32,259 --> 00:41:36,931 ♪ Supposed to know this time that you wouldn't come ♪ 1008 00:41:36,964 --> 00:41:40,801 ♪ That you wouldn't come home ♪ 1009 00:41:42,503 --> 00:41:43,804 (knocking) 1010 00:41:43,838 --> 00:41:44,972 ♪ But four drinks I'm wasted ♪ 1011 00:41:45,006 --> 00:41:47,641 ♪ I can see you dancing ♪ 1012 00:41:47,675 --> 00:41:50,444 ♪ I can lay down next you ♪ 1013 00:41:50,478 --> 00:41:53,014 ♪ At the foot of my bed ♪ 1014 00:41:53,047 --> 00:41:55,616 ♪ If I drink enough ♪ 1015 00:41:55,649 --> 00:41:58,252 ♪ I can taste your lipstick ♪ 1016 00:41:58,285 --> 00:42:00,921 ♪ I can lay down next to you ♪ 1017 00:42:00,955 --> 00:42:03,591 ♪ But it's all in my head ♪ 1018 00:42:03,624 --> 00:42:06,260 ♪ If I drink enough I swear ♪ 1019 00:42:06,293 --> 00:42:10,398 ♪ That I will wake up next to you ♪ 1020 00:42:26,847 --> 00:42:29,350 Pow, pow, pow, pow. 1021 00:42:29,383 --> 00:42:30,217 Pow. 1022 00:42:31,919 --> 00:42:35,423 (Frankie exhales shakily) 1023 00:42:37,858 --> 00:42:39,060 Hey. 1024 00:42:39,093 --> 00:42:39,894 - (laughing) - Here we go. 1025 00:42:39,927 --> 00:42:41,695 Here we go. 1026 00:42:41,729 --> 00:42:43,064 Did you make those changes on the mouse trap scene? 1027 00:42:43,097 --> 00:42:44,865 No, we cut that, remember? 1028 00:42:44,899 --> 00:42:46,667 We're gonna do the greenhouse gases bit instead? 1029 00:42:46,700 --> 00:42:48,836 No, Jake, greenhouse is cut and mouse traps is in. 1030 00:42:48,869 --> 00:42:50,805 Wait, what? 1031 00:42:50,838 --> 00:42:52,039 What? No, we have to have those moments that are serious- 1032 00:42:52,073 --> 00:42:53,407 We like moustraps better. 1033 00:42:53,441 --> 00:42:54,875 - We have so many goofy- - Look. 1034 00:42:54,909 --> 00:42:56,143 - Boo! - The show- 1035 00:42:56,177 --> 00:42:58,012 - Oh. - Jesus Christ, man. 1036 00:42:58,045 --> 00:42:59,680 Hey, you're gonna stay on like the whole time, right? 1037 00:42:59,713 --> 00:43:00,748 Just keep focused on him. 1038 00:43:00,781 --> 00:43:02,383 Here we go. Here we go. 1039 00:43:02,416 --> 00:43:03,552 Oh, you guys have never done this before. 1040 00:43:03,584 --> 00:43:04,752 - How you doin'? - Oh. 1041 00:43:04,785 --> 00:43:06,353 Good. 1042 00:43:06,387 --> 00:43:07,188 (Frankie exhales sharply) 1043 00:43:07,221 --> 00:43:08,222 Hey. 1044 00:43:08,255 --> 00:43:09,723 Hey, I need to uh... 1045 00:43:10,758 --> 00:43:13,194 I... 1046 00:43:13,227 --> 00:43:14,529 I don't know if I can do this. 1047 00:43:14,563 --> 00:43:16,163 You're going to be great, man. 1048 00:43:16,197 --> 00:43:17,031 Don't worry about it. Don't overthink it. 1049 00:43:17,064 --> 00:43:18,732 Just breathe. 1050 00:43:18,766 --> 00:43:19,600 No, you've got to be dumb to be smart, right? 1051 00:43:19,633 --> 00:43:21,368 Go be dumb. 1052 00:43:21,402 --> 00:43:23,838 If we do this, you know there's no going back. 1053 00:43:23,871 --> 00:43:25,039 Who wants to go back? 1054 00:43:25,072 --> 00:43:26,440 Showtime. (claps) 1055 00:43:26,474 --> 00:43:27,308 Let's do it. 1056 00:43:28,742 --> 00:43:31,979 (Link exhales sharply) 1057 00:43:33,614 --> 00:43:36,450 (exhales sharply) 1058 00:43:46,627 --> 00:43:47,562 (exhales sharply) 1059 00:43:47,596 --> 00:43:49,497 And action. 1060 00:43:50,464 --> 00:43:54,536 (upbeat game show music) 1061 00:43:54,569 --> 00:43:58,372 - (cheering) - (clapping) 1062 00:43:58,405 --> 00:44:01,809 (upbeat game show music) 1063 00:44:05,980 --> 00:44:08,048 (laughing) 1064 00:44:08,082 --> 00:44:11,485 (upbeat game show music) 1065 00:44:19,827 --> 00:44:21,896 (taps) 1066 00:44:21,929 --> 00:44:24,999 Thank you, severed hand. (laughs) 1067 00:44:25,032 --> 00:44:28,135 What a response. Give a hand to the hand. 1068 00:44:28,169 --> 00:44:30,004 (laughs) 1069 00:44:30,037 --> 00:44:31,573 I'm your host and I'm, you know, I'm No One Special. 1070 00:44:31,606 --> 00:44:32,740 And are you all um... 1071 00:44:32,773 --> 00:44:34,643 (audio glitching) 1072 00:44:34,675 --> 00:44:36,210 You're all sitting comfortably? 1073 00:44:37,044 --> 00:44:39,180 And when you all came into the studio today, 1074 00:44:39,213 --> 00:44:41,015 - (fly buzzing) - you were asked to 1075 00:44:41,048 --> 00:44:43,083 hand over your cell phones and sign some, some uh, 1076 00:44:43,117 --> 00:44:44,586 - some kind of waivers. - (thunder rumbles) 1077 00:44:44,619 --> 00:44:46,521 Hey, severed hand is back. 1078 00:44:46,555 --> 00:44:48,322 I hope you read the small print, folks, 1079 00:44:48,355 --> 00:44:50,491 'cause you've just signed your phones over to me. 1080 00:44:50,525 --> 00:44:51,358 Oh. 1081 00:44:52,393 --> 00:44:55,129 The atmosphere is suddenly so tense. 1082 00:44:55,162 --> 00:44:57,097 Can you feel it at home, kids? 1083 00:44:57,131 --> 00:45:02,136 As we play Your Phone or Your Dignity? (laughs) 1084 00:45:05,406 --> 00:45:08,677 (upbeat game show music) 1085 00:45:08,709 --> 00:45:10,177 Sorry. 1086 00:45:10,211 --> 00:45:11,779 - I don't remember. - (cheering) 1087 00:45:11,812 --> 00:45:13,147 Am I going here? Where am I going, Candice? 1088 00:45:13,180 --> 00:45:14,315 Over there? 1089 00:45:14,348 --> 00:45:15,382 Candice told me to go here. 1090 00:45:15,416 --> 00:45:16,651 I don't even know. 1091 00:45:16,685 --> 00:45:17,918 Let's see who we got. Hi. 1092 00:45:19,353 --> 00:45:20,354 (upbeat game show music) 1093 00:45:20,387 --> 00:45:21,556 Everybody's miserable. 1094 00:45:21,590 --> 00:45:23,190 Everybody's so sad. 1095 00:45:23,224 --> 00:45:24,358 Why is everyone so... 1096 00:45:24,391 --> 00:45:25,826 It's a game show. It's fun. 1097 00:45:25,859 --> 00:45:27,494 Excuse me. Let me squeeze. 1098 00:45:27,529 --> 00:45:29,730 Bring the music, music down. We can't hear. 1099 00:45:29,763 --> 00:45:30,864 Cut the music! 1100 00:45:30,898 --> 00:45:32,567 That's the cue to cut the- 1101 00:45:32,601 --> 00:45:33,635 So sir, what's your name? Where are you from? 1102 00:45:33,668 --> 00:45:34,802 Um, my name is Martin. 1103 00:45:34,835 --> 00:45:35,970 I'm from Temecula. 1104 00:45:36,003 --> 00:45:37,572 Beautiful name, beautiful place. 1105 00:45:37,606 --> 00:45:39,039 God's country. Had an aunt from Temecula. 1106 00:45:39,073 --> 00:45:40,407 You want to feel my carpet? 1107 00:45:41,408 --> 00:45:42,209 Um... 1108 00:45:42,243 --> 00:45:43,244 Yeah you do! 1109 00:45:43,277 --> 00:45:44,512 Let's go. 1110 00:45:44,546 --> 00:45:46,080 Here we are, me and Martin. 1111 00:45:50,751 --> 00:45:52,319 Come on, feel it. 1112 00:45:52,353 --> 00:45:53,854 You wanna lay on it? 1113 00:45:53,887 --> 00:45:54,888 Oh, sure. 1114 00:45:56,123 --> 00:45:57,559 How does that feel? 1115 00:45:57,592 --> 00:45:59,226 It feels like just great, smooth. 1116 00:45:59,260 --> 00:46:00,094 Smooth ass carpet. 1117 00:46:00,127 --> 00:46:01,696 Smooth carpet. 1118 00:46:01,730 --> 00:46:03,397 All right, enough fooling around folks. 1119 00:46:03,430 --> 00:46:05,099 Let's get on with the show. 1120 00:46:05,132 --> 00:46:06,668 (panting) 1121 00:46:06,701 --> 00:46:08,168 One simple question for you, Martin. 1122 00:46:08,202 --> 00:46:10,705 How badly do you need your phone? 1123 00:46:11,573 --> 00:46:14,875 Um, I mean, yeah, I use it all the time. 1124 00:46:14,908 --> 00:46:16,343 Right. Don't we all? 1125 00:46:16,377 --> 00:46:19,079 Well, Martin, it is your lucky day 1126 00:46:19,113 --> 00:46:23,917 because you get to walk away with $100 1127 00:46:23,951 --> 00:46:26,820 and one of these brand spanking new devices. 1128 00:46:28,889 --> 00:46:31,425 These phones come with no camera and no internet 1129 00:46:31,458 --> 00:46:34,428 which means freedom from self obsession and social media. 1130 00:46:34,461 --> 00:46:36,598 What a prize, am I right? 1131 00:46:38,999 --> 00:46:42,403 Or, Martin, you can complete one of our challenges 1132 00:46:42,436 --> 00:46:47,642 to retrieve your old, needy, soul sucking phone. 1133 00:46:47,676 --> 00:46:49,276 It was like 800 bucks. 1134 00:46:49,310 --> 00:46:50,811 Yeah, I need it. I use it all the time. 1135 00:46:50,844 --> 00:46:52,413 Well if you want your phone back, Martin, 1136 00:46:52,446 --> 00:46:55,382 you're going to have to wrestle this guy for it. 1137 00:46:55,416 --> 00:46:57,117 Come and get your phone, Martin. 1138 00:46:59,186 --> 00:47:00,020 Chee-hoo! 1139 00:47:00,988 --> 00:47:01,822 Ah! 1140 00:47:03,591 --> 00:47:04,925 I'm backing you, Martin. 1141 00:47:06,661 --> 00:47:07,995 Yes. 1142 00:47:08,028 --> 00:47:08,996 (Martin grunts) 1143 00:47:09,029 --> 00:47:09,997 Oh come on, Martin. 1144 00:47:10,030 --> 00:47:11,131 You're better than this. 1145 00:47:11,165 --> 00:47:12,266 (Martin grunting) 1146 00:47:12,299 --> 00:47:13,768 Isn't he doing great? 1147 00:47:13,802 --> 00:47:16,270 (wrestler grunts) 1148 00:47:16,303 --> 00:47:18,005 (Martin yells) 1149 00:47:18,038 --> 00:47:19,808 And, ah, he's got it. 1150 00:47:20,675 --> 00:47:23,977 Give it up for Martin from Temecula, I guess. 1151 00:47:24,011 --> 00:47:25,179 I got my phone. 1152 00:47:25,212 --> 00:47:27,081 He got his phone back. 1153 00:47:27,114 --> 00:47:30,785 Welcome to the rest of your life, Martin. 1154 00:47:30,819 --> 00:47:34,221 (upbeat game show music) 1155 00:47:43,631 --> 00:47:46,367 I'm Charles Melton and I'm here with No One Special. 1156 00:47:48,168 --> 00:47:50,137 We're about to destroy Chuck's phone. 1157 00:47:55,042 --> 00:47:55,844 (hits) 1158 00:47:55,876 --> 00:47:57,978 (cheering) 1159 00:47:58,011 --> 00:47:59,480 - Woo! - Got it! 1160 00:47:59,514 --> 00:48:02,483 Chuck M killed it. No One Special. 1161 00:48:02,517 --> 00:48:03,384 Stay tuned. 1162 00:48:03,417 --> 00:48:05,386 NoOneSpecial.com. 1163 00:48:05,419 --> 00:48:06,253 Peace! 1164 00:48:07,221 --> 00:48:10,124 (cheering) 1165 00:48:10,157 --> 00:48:13,961 ♪ And I do what I can ♪ 1166 00:48:13,994 --> 00:48:15,630 ♪ I got friends in high places ♪ 1167 00:48:15,663 --> 00:48:17,398 ♪ I get out for free ♪ 1168 00:48:17,431 --> 00:48:20,668 ♪ I got in a fight but they don't know me ♪ 1169 00:48:20,702 --> 00:48:24,238 ♪ Because in only a man ♪ 1170 00:48:24,271 --> 00:48:28,242 ♪ And I do what I can ♪ 1171 00:48:28,275 --> 00:48:31,846 ♪ B-E-H-A-V-E arrest us ♪ 1172 00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:35,550 ♪ Italiana monster looking so precious ♪ 1173 00:48:35,583 --> 00:48:38,887 ♪ B-E-H-A-V-E never more ♪ 1174 00:48:38,919 --> 00:48:40,487 ♪ You gave up being good ♪ 1175 00:48:40,522 --> 00:48:42,590 ♪ When you declared a state of war ♪ 1176 00:48:42,624 --> 00:48:43,924 Love you, No One Special. 1177 00:48:43,957 --> 00:48:46,093 I fucking love you. 1178 00:48:46,126 --> 00:48:49,764 ♪ Eh, oh, don't behave, oh don't behave, oh ♪ 1179 00:48:49,798 --> 00:48:54,569 ♪ Eh, oh, don't behave, oh don't behave, oh ♪ 1180 00:48:54,602 --> 00:48:55,703 I choose... 1181 00:48:57,237 --> 00:48:58,907 My dignity. 1182 00:48:58,939 --> 00:49:03,912 ♪ Do what I can, ooh-whoa-oh ♪ 1183 00:49:03,944 --> 00:49:08,081 ♪ 'Cause I'm only a man, do what I can ♪ 1184 00:49:08,115 --> 00:49:09,383 ♪ You're going to the party ♪ 1185 00:49:09,416 --> 00:49:11,418 ♪ And you're goin' to the show ♪ 1186 00:49:11,452 --> 00:49:14,856 ♪ I did something bad, maybe I was wrong ♪ 1187 00:49:14,889 --> 00:49:18,025 ♪ Sometimes people say that I'm a big time bomb ♪ 1188 00:49:18,058 --> 00:49:21,763 ♪ But I'm only a man ♪ 1189 00:49:21,796 --> 00:49:25,733 ♪ And I do what I can ♪ 1190 00:49:25,767 --> 00:49:29,303 ♪ B-E-H-A-V-E arrest us ♪ 1191 00:49:29,336 --> 00:49:32,941 ♪ Italiana monster looking so precious ♪ 1192 00:49:32,973 --> 00:49:36,310 ♪ B-E-H-A-V-E never more ♪ 1193 00:49:36,343 --> 00:49:37,946 ♪ You gave up being good ♪ 1194 00:49:37,978 --> 00:49:40,080 ♪ When you declared a state a war ♪ 1195 00:49:40,113 --> 00:49:43,383 ♪ Eh, oh, don't behave, oh don't behave, oh ♪ 1196 00:49:43,417 --> 00:49:46,987 ♪ Eh, oh, don't behave, oh don't behave, oh ♪ 1197 00:49:47,020 --> 00:49:50,558 ♪ Eh, oh, don't behave, oh don't behave, oh ♪ 1198 00:49:50,592 --> 00:49:51,992 ♪ You're going to the party ♪ 1199 00:49:52,025 --> 00:49:54,061 ♪ And you're goin' to the show ♪ 1200 00:49:54,094 --> 00:49:59,099 ♪ 'Cause I'm only a man, do what can, ooh-whoa-oh ♪ 1201 00:50:01,168 --> 00:50:05,740 ♪ 'Cause I'm only a man, do what I can ♪ 1202 00:50:05,773 --> 00:50:07,007 ♪ You're going to the party ♪ 1203 00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:08,810 ♪ And you're goin' to the show ♪ 1204 00:50:08,843 --> 00:50:13,915 ♪ Oh, whoa-oh ♪ 1205 00:50:13,948 --> 00:50:17,585 ♪ The fire hurts all right ♪ 1206 00:50:17,619 --> 00:50:21,288 ♪ 'Cause we can make 'em all go crazy ♪ 1207 00:50:21,321 --> 00:50:23,423 ♪ We can make 'em all right ♪ 1208 00:50:23,457 --> 00:50:26,193 ♪ Oh, whoa-oh-oh ♪ 1209 00:50:27,862 --> 00:50:29,429 Hey gorgeous. 1210 00:50:29,463 --> 00:50:31,298 I just wanted to say I'm sorry 1211 00:50:31,331 --> 00:50:33,133 that we're not doing the twinning politicians thing. 1212 00:50:33,166 --> 00:50:34,301 Yeah. Okay, sure. 1213 00:50:37,371 --> 00:50:38,706 You know I see you, right? 1214 00:50:40,374 --> 00:50:41,843 You see me? 1215 00:50:41,876 --> 00:50:43,377 I see you flirting with that girl. 1216 00:50:43,410 --> 00:50:44,244 I see you. 1217 00:50:47,381 --> 00:50:49,082 You call that flirting? Well... 1218 00:50:49,984 --> 00:50:51,151 Yeah. 1219 00:50:51,184 --> 00:50:52,787 Oh no, I'll show you flirting. 1220 00:50:52,820 --> 00:50:54,656 I'll take you to the back room right now. 1221 00:50:54,689 --> 00:50:56,323 Thought you've taken enough people to the back room. 1222 00:50:59,761 --> 00:51:00,595 Don't hurt her. 1223 00:51:03,230 --> 00:51:05,833 (Link laughs) 1224 00:51:05,867 --> 00:51:08,435 I love that, Jake. I love it. 1225 00:51:09,369 --> 00:51:11,639 Eh uh, how else can I say it? 1226 00:51:11,673 --> 00:51:14,308 I'm just, I'm getting a little antsy. 1227 00:51:14,341 --> 00:51:15,877 But I don't understand, antsy about what? 1228 00:51:15,910 --> 00:51:17,477 Specifically what's going wrong? 1229 00:51:17,512 --> 00:51:18,913 It's not a nosedive. 1230 00:51:18,947 --> 00:51:21,683 It's more like, um, like a little, 1231 00:51:21,716 --> 00:51:23,083 like a little, um... 1232 00:51:23,116 --> 00:51:24,819 Just spit it out, Mark. 1233 00:51:24,852 --> 00:51:26,888 We're down about 15% since the last episode. 1234 00:51:26,921 --> 00:51:29,156 If you don't do something, you will lose more. 1235 00:51:29,189 --> 00:51:30,658 It's science. 1236 00:51:30,692 --> 00:51:31,826 Just shake it up. 1237 00:51:31,859 --> 00:51:32,860 Get people interested again. 1238 00:51:32,894 --> 00:51:33,928 Get 'em back up. 1239 00:51:33,962 --> 00:51:35,063 It all corrects itself. 1240 00:51:35,095 --> 00:51:36,030 Yes. Yes. 1241 00:51:36,064 --> 00:51:37,599 I'm busting my ass 1242 00:51:37,632 --> 00:51:39,867 and you're writing the same old tired shit. 1243 00:51:39,901 --> 00:51:41,836 I've been saying that for weeks. 1244 00:51:41,869 --> 00:51:43,037 You guys told me that I had to stick to the formula. 1245 00:51:43,071 --> 00:51:44,505 It was working, now it's not. 1246 00:51:44,539 --> 00:51:46,406 We're all clear it's not Jake's fault. 1247 00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:48,375 I wrote the greenhouse gases bit and then that got cut. 1248 00:51:48,408 --> 00:51:50,578 Yeah, 'cause climate change isn't sexy right now, Jake. 1249 00:51:50,612 --> 00:51:52,179 I'm sorry. Climate change isn't sexy? 1250 00:51:52,212 --> 00:51:54,348 Are you out of your mind? 1251 00:51:54,381 --> 00:51:55,750 I didn't know the end of the world is supposed to be sexy. 1252 00:51:55,783 --> 00:51:57,250 Can you take the cotton out of your ears 1253 00:51:57,284 --> 00:51:58,251 and put it in your mouth for one second 1254 00:51:58,285 --> 00:52:00,021 and listen to Mark? 1255 00:52:00,054 --> 00:52:01,556 We're losing views and we need to get them back up, 1256 00:52:01,589 --> 00:52:02,624 so we need to write stuff that's new, 1257 00:52:02,657 --> 00:52:04,224 not cliche, not boring. 1258 00:52:04,257 --> 00:52:05,760 Well it won't be boring when the polar bears 1259 00:52:05,793 --> 00:52:07,227 are scratching at our front door because 1260 00:52:07,260 --> 00:52:08,863 - their habitats are melted. - Fuck. 1261 00:52:08,896 --> 00:52:09,897 And it won't be boring when we don't have 1262 00:52:09,931 --> 00:52:11,599 any clean water to drink. 1263 00:52:11,633 --> 00:52:13,266 We need to get Jake's soapbox in here, guys. 1264 00:52:13,300 --> 00:52:14,134 Get the viewers back up before we lose anymore. 1265 00:52:14,167 --> 00:52:15,870 It's very simple. 1266 00:52:15,903 --> 00:52:17,437 Come up with something amazing and new, now. 1267 00:52:17,471 --> 00:52:18,940 I know you hate me. 1268 00:52:18,973 --> 00:52:20,775 You're going to love me soon. Trust me. 1269 00:52:20,808 --> 00:52:23,410 Welcome to fuckin' life, baby. 1270 00:52:25,312 --> 00:52:26,446 Where's the chocolate? 1271 00:52:26,480 --> 00:52:27,280 Are you too high and mighty? 1272 00:52:27,314 --> 00:52:28,448 Mm, yeah. 1273 00:52:28,482 --> 00:52:29,917 And you know what a fuckin' 1274 00:52:29,951 --> 00:52:30,585 hungry polar bear will really do? 1275 00:52:30,618 --> 00:52:31,819 Eat you. 1276 00:52:31,853 --> 00:52:33,153 It will eat you. 1277 00:52:33,186 --> 00:52:34,989 You can love it from here. 1278 00:52:35,023 --> 00:52:36,256 Let me tell you, if you ever met a real polar bear, 1279 00:52:36,289 --> 00:52:38,126 they would fuckin' eat you. 1280 00:52:38,158 --> 00:52:40,227 (synth music) 1281 00:52:40,260 --> 00:52:41,996 I got an idea. 1282 00:52:42,030 --> 00:52:45,099 What if we shifted the way people behave online? 1283 00:52:45,133 --> 00:52:46,934 Not trying to take away the phone, 1284 00:52:46,968 --> 00:52:49,671 but trying to put the soul back into the phone? 1285 00:52:53,875 --> 00:52:57,512 (audience applause) 1286 00:52:57,545 --> 00:52:59,580 What do you say we shake it up a little bit, folks? 1287 00:52:59,614 --> 00:53:01,448 There's someone I'm looking for. 1288 00:53:01,481 --> 00:53:02,382 There's someone... 1289 00:53:03,383 --> 00:53:05,687 Do we have an Isabelle Roberts? 1290 00:53:05,720 --> 00:53:06,621 Isabelle Roberts? 1291 00:53:06,654 --> 00:53:08,355 Yes? 1292 00:53:08,388 --> 00:53:10,024 Okay, and bring around the camera on Isabelle. 1293 00:53:10,058 --> 00:53:11,125 Sweetheart, what are you waiting for? 1294 00:53:11,159 --> 00:53:12,694 Destiny awaits! 1295 00:53:12,727 --> 00:53:14,996 I don't know about this. 1296 00:53:15,029 --> 00:53:18,866 Yeah, you made that very clear in the room. 1297 00:53:18,900 --> 00:53:20,768 Let's let it play out. 1298 00:53:20,802 --> 00:53:21,703 Isabelle. 1299 00:53:23,004 --> 00:53:24,072 That's sexy. 1300 00:53:26,074 --> 00:53:27,508 Hi. 1301 00:53:27,542 --> 00:53:29,309 So Isabelle, my source is telling me, 1302 00:53:29,342 --> 00:53:31,112 you mind if I lean on you? 1303 00:53:31,145 --> 00:53:33,548 My source is telling me you're a big fan of Instagram, 1304 00:53:33,581 --> 00:53:35,282 - is that right? - Mhm. 1305 00:53:35,315 --> 00:53:37,250 Okay. So let's have a look at your best shot. 1306 00:53:38,886 --> 00:53:39,987 - Yeah. - Whoa! 1307 00:53:40,021 --> 00:53:41,155 - Beautiful. - What? 1308 00:53:41,189 --> 00:53:43,624 (clapping) 1309 00:53:43,658 --> 00:53:45,225 You gotta warn me next time 1310 00:53:45,258 --> 00:53:46,060 there's gonna be a supermodel in the room. 1311 00:53:46,094 --> 00:53:47,995 Here we go. 1312 00:53:48,029 --> 00:53:49,664 What's your secret, Isabelle, for looking so damn fresh? 1313 00:53:50,765 --> 00:53:52,466 (chuckles) 1314 00:53:52,499 --> 00:53:54,234 I don't, I don't know. 1315 00:53:54,267 --> 00:53:57,171 I drink a lot of water, I guess, and try to eat well. 1316 00:53:57,205 --> 00:53:58,673 Well, let's have a look at the original version 1317 00:53:58,706 --> 00:53:59,674 of the photo we found on your phone. 1318 00:53:59,707 --> 00:54:00,541 No, no... 1319 00:54:01,709 --> 00:54:05,146 (soft, tense tinkling music) 1320 00:54:05,179 --> 00:54:07,148 (audience exclaims) Oh. 1321 00:54:07,181 --> 00:54:11,919 - (audience members chattering) - (soft, tense tinkling music) 1322 00:54:13,955 --> 00:54:15,422 Did you know that she had a birthmark? 1323 00:54:15,455 --> 00:54:16,289 That's a... 1324 00:54:19,727 --> 00:54:20,528 It's a birthmark. 1325 00:54:20,561 --> 00:54:21,394 Well... 1326 00:54:22,429 --> 00:54:23,263 Yeah. 1327 00:54:24,364 --> 00:54:28,603 Well I don't, I don't see it... 1328 00:54:28,636 --> 00:54:30,238 I don't see it now. 1329 00:54:32,774 --> 00:54:34,008 I have my makeup on. 1330 00:54:34,041 --> 00:54:35,009 Oh, of course. 1331 00:54:35,042 --> 00:54:37,078 Well, you know what? 1332 00:54:37,111 --> 00:54:38,179 I think that's just another beautiful part of yourself. 1333 00:54:38,212 --> 00:54:39,446 What do you guys think? 1334 00:54:39,479 --> 00:54:40,681 Yeah! 1335 00:54:40,715 --> 00:54:41,682 (clapping) 1336 00:54:41,716 --> 00:54:45,019 Proud. She's proud. 1337 00:54:45,052 --> 00:54:46,754 Tell me something, how many likes do you think 1338 00:54:46,788 --> 00:54:48,556 this version of the photo would get? 1339 00:54:48,589 --> 00:54:51,192 Uh, I would, I would never... 1340 00:54:51,225 --> 00:54:53,127 I wouldn't. 1341 00:54:53,161 --> 00:54:55,295 Are you prepared to let the world see the real you? 1342 00:54:56,998 --> 00:54:58,699 What do you mean? 1343 00:54:58,733 --> 00:54:59,734 You're not gonna... 1344 00:54:59,767 --> 00:55:01,301 Oh no, no, no, no, no. 1345 00:55:01,334 --> 00:55:02,937 No, no, I'm not. I'm not gonna do anything. 1346 00:55:03,971 --> 00:55:04,806 You are. 1347 00:55:06,073 --> 00:55:09,811 (soft, tense tinkling music) 1348 00:55:12,246 --> 00:55:13,080 Isabelle. 1349 00:55:14,447 --> 00:55:16,818 (soft, tense tinkling music) 1350 00:55:16,851 --> 00:55:18,451 If you hit this button, 1351 00:55:18,485 --> 00:55:20,054 the original version of this photo 1352 00:55:20,087 --> 00:55:22,089 will be sent out to all your followers 1353 00:55:22,123 --> 00:55:23,825 with the hashtag the real me, 1354 00:55:23,858 --> 00:55:27,494 and you'll walk away with $400 and your phone 1355 00:55:27,528 --> 00:55:30,998 and a tremendous amount of self-respect and liberation. 1356 00:55:31,032 --> 00:55:33,267 So what should she do audience? 1357 00:55:33,301 --> 00:55:35,837 - Does she press the button? - (audience applause) 1358 00:55:35,870 --> 00:55:38,606 Um, will you just mostly stay on the wide for now? 1359 00:55:38,639 --> 00:55:40,007 Thank you. 1360 00:55:40,041 --> 00:55:43,511 - (audience clapping) - (cheering) 1361 00:55:43,544 --> 00:55:46,346 I mean, it's pretty clear what they want, 1362 00:55:46,379 --> 00:55:47,515 but it's up to you, Isabelle. 1363 00:55:47,548 --> 00:55:48,950 So what's it gonna be? 1364 00:55:48,983 --> 00:55:50,952 Your phone or your vanity? 1365 00:55:53,688 --> 00:55:55,323 I can't, I can't. 1366 00:55:55,355 --> 00:55:57,024 This is the best. 1367 00:55:57,058 --> 00:55:58,192 Everyone in the audience can see it. 1368 00:55:58,226 --> 00:56:00,094 What are you afraid of, darling? 1369 00:56:00,127 --> 00:56:02,530 That these people at home will think that you're ugly, 1370 00:56:02,563 --> 00:56:03,998 that they'll think you're rejectable? 1371 00:56:04,031 --> 00:56:05,465 That they'll think you're unlovable? 1372 00:56:05,498 --> 00:56:08,435 We are in trouble, folks. Woo. 1373 00:56:08,468 --> 00:56:12,540 We got innocent, pure angels who have 1374 00:56:12,573 --> 00:56:14,441 somehow been brainwashed. 1375 00:56:14,474 --> 00:56:16,711 We are disfiguring ourselves. 1376 00:56:17,578 --> 00:56:21,182 Taking needles, shoving them in our faces. 1377 00:56:21,215 --> 00:56:22,617 They're taking our chins and they're 1378 00:56:22,650 --> 00:56:23,985 putting them in our asses. 1379 00:56:25,052 --> 00:56:27,321 You're saving polar bears right now, Jake. 1380 00:56:27,355 --> 00:56:28,356 Okay, come on. 1381 00:56:29,824 --> 00:56:31,325 Stop it. 1382 00:56:31,359 --> 00:56:33,127 - Are you gonna stop this. - Look, it could 1383 00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:34,862 - be really powerful. - No, are you gonna stop this? 1384 00:56:34,896 --> 00:56:35,897 - Look at her face. - It could be really powerful. 1385 00:56:35,930 --> 00:56:37,531 Let it cook, let it cook. 1386 00:56:37,565 --> 00:56:39,200 Are we going insane? Are we going crazy? 1387 00:56:39,233 --> 00:56:41,636 I feel like I'm going crazy every damn day. 1388 00:56:41,669 --> 00:56:42,837 She's cracking. 1389 00:56:42,870 --> 00:56:44,805 You can't stop 'em mid crack. 1390 00:56:44,839 --> 00:56:46,073 That's what they're doing, Isabelle, 1391 00:56:46,107 --> 00:56:47,708 that's what they've done to you. 1392 00:56:48,609 --> 00:56:50,578 I can't watch, but I can't stop watching. 1393 00:56:50,611 --> 00:56:53,147 Are we going to take this shit anymore? 1394 00:56:53,180 --> 00:56:54,015 No! 1395 00:56:55,549 --> 00:56:58,219 Is Isabelle going to take this shit anymore? 1396 00:56:58,252 --> 00:56:59,687 No! 1397 00:57:01,088 --> 00:57:03,357 You got to lead the revolution, Isabelle, 1398 00:57:03,391 --> 00:57:05,425 and it's oh so simple. 1399 00:57:05,458 --> 00:57:10,131 All you must do is hit that button. 1400 00:57:11,431 --> 00:57:13,000 Look at her face. 1401 00:57:13,034 --> 00:57:15,169 You're not gonna stop this? 1402 00:57:15,202 --> 00:57:16,938 We're stopping nothing, my friend. 1403 00:57:18,873 --> 00:57:19,974 I'm gonna stop this. 1404 00:57:22,610 --> 00:57:24,078 What are we stopping? 1405 00:57:24,111 --> 00:57:25,613 This? No, no, no, no. 1406 00:57:25,646 --> 00:57:27,014 - (Isabelle sobbing) - Stop crying. 1407 00:57:27,048 --> 00:57:28,950 Stop crying right now. 1408 00:57:28,983 --> 00:57:32,987 That's all you must do to lead the revolution, Isabelle. 1409 00:57:34,822 --> 00:57:36,123 (buzzing) 1410 00:57:36,157 --> 00:57:41,362 - (cheering) - (upbeat music) 1411 00:57:41,395 --> 00:57:42,930 She did it, folks! 1412 00:57:42,964 --> 00:57:45,399 We're free now! And I'm free! 1413 00:57:47,435 --> 00:57:48,402 Stop crying. 1414 00:57:48,436 --> 00:57:49,804 Grow up. 1415 00:57:49,837 --> 00:57:53,040 Stop your fucking crying right now. 1416 00:57:53,074 --> 00:57:54,108 Don't do this to me. 1417 00:57:54,141 --> 00:57:55,042 Don't ruin this for me. 1418 00:57:55,076 --> 00:57:55,910 Pull it together. 1419 00:57:55,943 --> 00:57:57,311 Just stop it. 1420 00:57:57,345 --> 00:57:58,312 - Hey, back up. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1421 00:57:58,346 --> 00:57:59,880 Hey. You all right? 1422 00:57:59,914 --> 00:58:00,715 - I got it, I got it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1423 00:58:00,748 --> 00:58:02,049 She's great. 1424 00:58:02,083 --> 00:58:03,551 - She's great. - I'm so sorry. 1425 00:58:03,584 --> 00:58:04,585 I'm really, really sorry, all right? 1426 00:58:04,618 --> 00:58:06,087 That wasn't scripted. 1427 00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:07,555 You can't treat people like that, okay? 1428 00:58:07,588 --> 00:58:08,756 I told you you couldn't go there. 1429 00:58:08,789 --> 00:58:10,291 And I hope that you understand 1430 00:58:10,324 --> 00:58:11,993 that we're going to make it up to you. 1431 00:58:12,026 --> 00:58:13,160 Do you want to get up here and give it a try? 1432 00:58:13,194 --> 00:58:14,095 - Guys. - Come here, baby. 1433 00:58:14,128 --> 00:58:15,830 Give me a kiss. 1434 00:58:15,863 --> 00:58:17,431 - You're a straight-up psychopath. - Jake! 1435 00:58:17,465 --> 00:58:19,100 Back off, back off, back off, back off. 1436 00:58:19,133 --> 00:58:20,500 - You're a psychopath. - Jake, you gotta stop. 1437 00:58:20,534 --> 00:58:22,169 - You're outta line. - I'm outta line? 1438 00:58:22,203 --> 00:58:23,738 - Jake you gotta stop. - That was out of line! 1439 00:58:23,771 --> 00:58:24,972 - That was out line. - Please calm down, 1440 00:58:25,006 --> 00:58:26,841 - please calm down. - Yeah. 1441 00:58:26,874 --> 00:58:28,576 This is our head writer, Jake, ladies and gentlemen. 1442 00:58:28,609 --> 00:58:29,777 He's having some kind of a nervous breakdown. 1443 00:58:29,810 --> 00:58:31,645 - Hey, hey, hey! - Stop. 1444 00:58:31,679 --> 00:58:32,313 - This is fucking bullshit. - Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. 1445 00:58:32,346 --> 00:58:33,781 Goodbye. 1446 00:58:33,814 --> 00:58:35,449 Can you give them a helping hand? 1447 00:58:35,483 --> 00:58:37,018 - Give him a little hand, folks. - (clapping) 1448 00:58:37,051 --> 00:58:38,586 - Jake, please, okay. - This is ridiculous. 1449 00:58:38,619 --> 00:58:39,820 - This is the same- - Please, calm down. 1450 00:58:39,854 --> 00:58:41,088 Please, let's go talk about it. 1451 00:58:41,122 --> 00:58:42,123 - Please. - Jake, goodbye, goodbye. 1452 00:58:42,156 --> 00:58:43,157 Take care of yourself. 1453 00:58:43,190 --> 00:58:44,959 Get better soon. Wow. 1454 00:58:44,992 --> 00:58:46,527 You think you know somebody, and then you don't. 1455 00:58:46,560 --> 00:58:47,661 Jake. Jake. Jake, you have to calm down. 1456 00:58:47,695 --> 00:58:48,596 He was bullying that girl. 1457 00:58:48,629 --> 00:58:49,497 No, she's fine. 1458 00:58:49,530 --> 00:58:51,265 I spoke to her. 1459 00:58:51,298 --> 00:58:52,767 - We're gonna edit around it. - No, she's not fine. 1460 00:58:52,800 --> 00:58:54,502 She's sobbing on the side of the stage. 1461 00:58:54,535 --> 00:58:55,369 Look, he was trying something new for the show. 1462 00:58:55,403 --> 00:58:56,537 Fuck the show. 1463 00:58:56,570 --> 00:58:57,705 Who cares about the stupid show? 1464 00:58:57,738 --> 00:58:58,873 I do. I care about the show. 1465 00:58:58,906 --> 00:59:00,341 I cared about the show too, 1466 00:59:00,374 --> 00:59:01,510 when we were satirizing awful people. 1467 00:59:01,542 --> 00:59:03,344 Now we are the awful people. 1468 00:59:03,377 --> 00:59:04,779 I want you to wake up 'cause you're getting swept up 1469 00:59:04,812 --> 00:59:06,380 in this bullshit and you'd see it 1470 00:59:06,414 --> 00:59:08,616 if you weren't busy slutting around with him. 1471 00:59:08,649 --> 00:59:11,352 You're so jealous of him, it's pathetic. 1472 00:59:11,385 --> 00:59:12,720 (Jake sighs) 1473 00:59:12,753 --> 00:59:13,587 I quit. 1474 00:59:15,089 --> 00:59:18,025 (soft synth music) 1475 00:59:20,928 --> 00:59:23,364 (door slams) 1476 00:59:24,331 --> 00:59:27,234 (soft piano music) 1477 00:59:29,670 --> 00:59:30,871 [Luke] But it's up to you. 1478 00:59:30,905 --> 00:59:32,706 The choice is ultimately yours. 1479 00:59:32,740 --> 00:59:33,974 What's it gonna be, Isabelle? 1480 00:59:34,008 --> 00:59:36,243 Your phone, or your vanity? 1481 00:59:37,078 --> 00:59:39,847 (clock ticking) 1482 00:59:44,251 --> 00:59:45,386 What's it going to be Isabelle? 1483 00:59:45,419 --> 00:59:47,922 Your phone, or your vanity? 1484 00:59:47,955 --> 00:59:49,590 (clock ticking) 1485 00:59:49,623 --> 00:59:54,628 - (audience cheering) - (clapping) 1486 00:59:58,432 --> 01:00:01,202 (soft, melancholy music) 1487 01:00:01,235 --> 01:00:02,069 Who am I? 1488 01:00:07,374 --> 01:00:08,543 I'm worthless. 1489 01:00:13,614 --> 01:00:14,782 I hate myself. 1490 01:00:19,320 --> 01:00:20,621 I'm No One Special. 1491 01:00:22,790 --> 01:00:25,226 (soft music) 1492 01:00:35,736 --> 01:00:36,571 Cut. 1493 01:00:38,472 --> 01:00:39,807 That was great. 1494 01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:41,442 (slaps) 1495 01:00:41,475 --> 01:00:42,710 - We got it. - All right, well done. 1496 01:00:42,743 --> 01:00:43,578 Good work guys. 1497 01:00:43,612 --> 01:00:45,079 Oh, thank you. 1498 01:00:45,112 --> 01:00:46,914 Uh, you guys can pack up and head home. 1499 01:00:46,947 --> 01:00:48,550 Thank you for a great day. 1500 01:00:48,583 --> 01:00:50,484 Hey, yo, guys we got the No One Special hats, 1501 01:00:50,519 --> 01:00:52,587 the t-shirts, and the baseball caps came in, 1502 01:00:52,621 --> 01:00:54,589 so Mark has one for each of you, 1503 01:00:54,623 --> 01:00:55,990 and take some for the family, for the friends, and all that. 1504 01:00:56,023 --> 01:00:57,124 We love you guys. 1505 01:00:57,158 --> 01:00:58,726 And great work. Thank you. 1506 01:00:58,759 --> 01:01:01,996 Okay, you think you can get that up by tomorrow? 1507 01:01:02,029 --> 01:01:03,063 Yeah. 1508 01:01:03,097 --> 01:01:04,131 I can edit it tonight. 1509 01:01:04,165 --> 01:01:06,568 Mhm. 1510 01:01:06,601 --> 01:01:08,269 That's gonna work. 1511 01:01:08,302 --> 01:01:09,737 Hashtag real me, we're gonna get the views back, 1512 01:01:09,770 --> 01:01:11,772 and what you did with that Isabelle video 1513 01:01:11,805 --> 01:01:13,407 and you cut around all of her crying. 1514 01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:15,943 It was, it's just like, you're like a wizard. 1515 01:01:15,976 --> 01:01:17,811 It was just like mwah. 1516 01:01:17,845 --> 01:01:19,480 It was just perfection. 1517 01:01:19,514 --> 01:01:21,583 It's like so fuckin' tight. 1518 01:01:21,616 --> 01:01:22,716 That's too much, right? 1519 01:01:23,652 --> 01:01:25,186 Yeah, it's too much. 1520 01:01:25,219 --> 01:01:26,053 Right? 1521 01:01:27,855 --> 01:01:29,624 You thinking about Jake? 1522 01:01:29,658 --> 01:01:30,958 Yeah, a little. 1523 01:01:30,991 --> 01:01:32,393 Yeah, well... 1524 01:01:34,461 --> 01:01:35,729 It was grow or die, 1525 01:01:37,798 --> 01:01:39,133 and he was holding us back. 1526 01:01:41,068 --> 01:01:42,970 And this is just feeling so right. 1527 01:01:43,003 --> 01:01:45,806 Can you feel it? Like we're about to go stratospheric. 1528 01:01:47,642 --> 01:01:49,109 (tense synth music) 1529 01:01:49,143 --> 01:01:50,512 Looking good, looking good. 1530 01:01:50,545 --> 01:01:51,946 All right. 1531 01:01:51,979 --> 01:01:53,180 See right there. We got Desmond. 1532 01:01:53,214 --> 01:01:54,982 He's amazing. 1533 01:01:55,015 --> 01:01:56,618 New York Times just did a huge profile on him. 1534 01:01:56,651 --> 01:01:58,319 We got Rola right over there. 1535 01:01:58,352 --> 01:01:59,820 Does a bit of everything: 1536 01:01:59,853 --> 01:02:02,524 fashion, movies, food trendsetter. 1537 01:02:02,557 --> 01:02:06,126 Single handily brought back cauliflower this year. 1538 01:02:06,160 --> 01:02:07,629 That's Jake Paul, blonde. 1539 01:02:07,662 --> 01:02:10,665 He's 5.8 billion views on YouTube. 1540 01:02:10,699 --> 01:02:11,498 - Mhm. - You know the story. 1541 01:02:11,533 --> 01:02:12,967 Mhm. 1542 01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:14,134 Patrick Starr, right there, far left. 1543 01:02:14,168 --> 01:02:16,136 Makeup tutorial. Great. 1544 01:02:16,170 --> 01:02:17,004 Who's that? 1545 01:02:17,037 --> 01:02:18,239 The other blonde. 1546 01:02:18,272 --> 01:02:19,807 Oh, the dirty blonde. 1547 01:02:19,840 --> 01:02:21,242 That's Lana. 1548 01:02:21,275 --> 01:02:23,244 She's fuckin', a huge powerhouse. 1549 01:02:23,277 --> 01:02:25,913 She does these makeup tutorials for Christians, 1550 01:02:25,946 --> 01:02:29,083 look fresh for Jesus, made $200 million last year. 1551 01:02:29,116 --> 01:02:30,484 It's fuckin' huge. 1552 01:02:30,518 --> 01:02:31,686 - Look at that. - That's amazing. 1553 01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:33,354 I've never seen that. 1554 01:02:33,387 --> 01:02:34,989 - That's a selfie train. - Greetings, fellas. 1555 01:02:35,022 --> 01:02:36,591 No One Special. 1556 01:02:36,625 --> 01:02:38,058 A childhood icon. 1557 01:02:38,092 --> 01:02:39,661 I used to be obsessed with you. 1558 01:02:39,694 --> 01:02:40,995 Big fan. 1559 01:02:41,028 --> 01:02:42,396 - Yeah, 10 years ago. - Crazy. 1560 01:02:42,429 --> 01:02:43,230 - Nice to meet you. - 12 years ago. 1561 01:02:43,264 --> 01:02:44,431 (laughs) 1562 01:02:44,465 --> 01:02:45,332 How are we doing? Are we set? 1563 01:02:45,366 --> 01:02:47,001 I'm set, you set? 1564 01:02:47,034 --> 01:02:48,435 Oh man, you really shot the moon with that suit. 1565 01:02:48,469 --> 01:02:49,937 You look hotter than a five dollar Rolex. 1566 01:02:49,970 --> 01:02:51,506 - Let's do this. - (Link laughs) 1567 01:02:51,539 --> 01:02:52,674 - Let's do it, let's do it. - Showtime. 1568 01:02:52,707 --> 01:02:54,074 That's great. That's great. 1569 01:02:57,545 --> 01:02:59,046 Okay, show people. 1570 01:02:59,079 --> 01:03:00,682 I want us to have fun, but just know 1571 01:03:00,715 --> 01:03:02,783 we're live streaming this so no swearing, 1572 01:03:02,816 --> 01:03:04,318 especially you, Desmond. 1573 01:03:05,452 --> 01:03:07,821 And we're gonna go live right over here. 1574 01:03:08,789 --> 01:03:10,257 All right. 1575 01:03:10,291 --> 01:03:12,092 Welcome back to the Ted Wick show. 1576 01:03:12,126 --> 01:03:14,094 That's me. 1577 01:03:14,128 --> 01:03:15,829 I am right here with some of your favorite influencers, 1578 01:03:16,731 --> 01:03:19,433 and right now we have the big guy. 1579 01:03:19,466 --> 01:03:20,568 No One Special. 1580 01:03:21,468 --> 01:03:24,038 I gotta say, man, I think you and the work you do 1581 01:03:24,071 --> 01:03:25,072 is super interesting. 1582 01:03:25,105 --> 01:03:26,073 Thanks for being with us. 1583 01:03:26,106 --> 01:03:27,241 No, thank you, Ted. 1584 01:03:27,274 --> 01:03:28,976 I'm very, very happy to be here. 1585 01:03:29,009 --> 01:03:30,745 The common thread throughout most of your videos 1586 01:03:30,779 --> 01:03:33,213 seems to be a comment on the viewer's isolation, 1587 01:03:33,247 --> 01:03:36,785 their over dependency on social media, the internet, 1588 01:03:36,817 --> 01:03:39,386 yet your growing popularity is derived 1589 01:03:39,420 --> 01:03:43,123 from your disdain, from the very thing making you popular. 1590 01:03:43,157 --> 01:03:44,325 Ka-pow. 1591 01:03:44,358 --> 01:03:45,826 That's crazy, Ted. 1592 01:03:45,859 --> 01:03:47,662 That's really insightful. Thank you. 1593 01:03:47,696 --> 01:03:50,331 And your biggest success to date is kind of a game show 1594 01:03:50,364 --> 01:03:52,634 where you demonstrate the viewers addiction 1595 01:03:52,667 --> 01:03:54,835 to their cell phones. 1596 01:03:54,868 --> 01:03:58,405 Your success directly contradicts your message, does it not? 1597 01:03:58,439 --> 01:04:00,709 Sorry, uh, sorry, everybody, I just, 1598 01:04:02,343 --> 01:04:03,812 are you saying I'm a sellout, Ted? 1599 01:04:03,844 --> 01:04:04,978 I'm not saying anything. 1600 01:04:05,012 --> 01:04:07,147 I'm merely asking the questions. 1601 01:04:07,181 --> 01:04:08,282 All right, good. 1602 01:04:08,315 --> 01:04:09,917 Good, great. 1603 01:04:09,950 --> 01:04:12,186 See I think that you insult the viewers. 1604 01:04:12,219 --> 01:04:16,758 You tell them that they're stupid for watching us. 1605 01:04:16,791 --> 01:04:20,127 Wait, are you the person that tells 10-year-old girls 1606 01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:21,929 to look sexy for Jesus? 1607 01:04:21,962 --> 01:04:24,833 No. I don't tell them how to look sexy for Jesus. 1608 01:04:24,865 --> 01:04:26,467 Can you tell me the passage in the Bible 1609 01:04:26,500 --> 01:04:28,035 where they talk about contouring? 1610 01:04:28,068 --> 01:04:29,503 What, what is that? 1611 01:04:29,537 --> 01:04:31,004 Is that Corinthians? Is that Genesis? 1612 01:04:31,038 --> 01:04:33,040 As a matter of fact, in Genesis, 1613 01:04:33,073 --> 01:04:37,846 God commands us to take care of all his creations, 1614 01:04:37,878 --> 01:04:39,880 and that includes ourselves. 1615 01:04:39,913 --> 01:04:41,982 So God is basically saying cover up 1616 01:04:42,015 --> 01:04:43,852 all of your so-called flaws? 1617 01:04:43,884 --> 01:04:45,553 I need a root beer. 1618 01:04:45,587 --> 01:04:46,621 She needs a root beer. 1619 01:04:46,654 --> 01:04:48,556 Okay. There goes Desmond. 1620 01:04:48,590 --> 01:04:49,990 I'm out. Goodbye. 1621 01:04:50,023 --> 01:04:51,058 God, I love that Desmond. 1622 01:04:51,091 --> 01:04:52,527 All right. 1623 01:04:52,560 --> 01:04:54,895 I got to say, what I do love about you 1624 01:04:54,928 --> 01:04:57,464 is how you work to empower people. 1625 01:04:57,498 --> 01:05:00,535 Now, here is a recent clip of your online game show. 1626 01:05:00,568 --> 01:05:01,669 What's your secret, Isabelle, 1627 01:05:01,703 --> 01:05:03,203 for looking so damn fresh? 1628 01:05:04,037 --> 01:05:06,473 I drink a lot of water, I guess? 1629 01:05:06,508 --> 01:05:08,242 Ah, Isabelle. 1630 01:05:08,275 --> 01:05:10,244 The choice is ultimately yours. So what's it gonna be? 1631 01:05:10,277 --> 01:05:12,680 Is it gonna be your phone, or your vanity? 1632 01:05:12,714 --> 01:05:15,983 (clock ticking) 1633 01:05:16,016 --> 01:05:17,652 - (audience cheering) - (clapping) 1634 01:05:17,685 --> 01:05:19,253 Wow. 1635 01:05:19,286 --> 01:05:20,755 Look at that young lady, she looks so happy. 1636 01:05:20,789 --> 01:05:24,826 And now here is the same clip unedited. 1637 01:05:24,859 --> 01:05:26,393 It's just been sent to us 1638 01:05:26,427 --> 01:05:29,831 and it kind of tells a different story. 1639 01:05:29,864 --> 01:05:31,398 Did you know about this? 1640 01:05:31,432 --> 01:05:32,266 I don't know. 1641 01:05:33,467 --> 01:05:34,501 - (Isabelle sobbing) - Stop crying. 1642 01:05:34,536 --> 01:05:36,437 Stop crying right now. 1643 01:05:36,470 --> 01:05:41,041 That's all you must do to lead the revolution, Isabelle. 1644 01:05:41,074 --> 01:05:45,446 -(audience cheering) 1645 01:05:45,479 --> 01:05:47,080 Making young girls cry. 1646 01:05:47,114 --> 01:05:49,416 Doesn't that go against everything you stand for? 1647 01:05:49,450 --> 01:05:51,018 (Link sighs) 1648 01:05:51,051 --> 01:05:52,554 Wow, that's good. That's very good, Ted. 1649 01:05:52,587 --> 01:05:53,721 That's not supposed to be out there. 1650 01:05:53,755 --> 01:05:55,723 We, we cut that out of the show. 1651 01:05:55,757 --> 01:05:58,225 That poor girl. What's wrong with you? 1652 01:05:58,258 --> 01:06:00,260 Patrick, spare me your faux outrage, 1653 01:06:00,294 --> 01:06:01,863 just for a second, okay? 1654 01:06:01,896 --> 01:06:03,363 That was an outtake and we took it out. 1655 01:06:03,397 --> 01:06:05,065 Because you humiliated her. 1656 01:06:05,098 --> 01:06:07,067 It's out of context. 1657 01:06:07,100 --> 01:06:09,236 People take seconds at a time and try to judge you for that. 1658 01:06:09,269 --> 01:06:10,370 - Exactly. - Only that. 1659 01:06:10,404 --> 01:06:12,574 But now what you're doing, 1660 01:06:12,607 --> 01:06:14,408 you're humiliating a girl in public, so who's the hypocrite? 1661 01:06:14,441 --> 01:06:15,577 - I didn't leak that clip. - Fake news. 1662 01:06:15,610 --> 01:06:17,110 It's all over the internet. 1663 01:06:17,144 --> 01:06:18,979 You know who made that girl cry, Ted? 1664 01:06:19,012 --> 01:06:20,280 Not me. 1665 01:06:20,314 --> 01:06:21,783 - It was Lana. - Excuse me? 1666 01:06:21,816 --> 01:06:22,983 Lana made that girl cry. 1667 01:06:23,016 --> 01:06:24,819 - Lana, Lana- - Oh, me? 1668 01:06:24,853 --> 01:06:27,154 Lana is spreading toxic waste into the culture, Ted. 1669 01:06:27,187 --> 01:06:28,723 She is poisoning. 1670 01:06:28,756 --> 01:06:30,625 You are, I'm sorry, baby, but you are. 1671 01:06:30,658 --> 01:06:32,760 You're poisoning the minds and the souls and the hearts 1672 01:06:32,794 --> 01:06:34,729 of young girls throughout the country, 1673 01:06:34,762 --> 01:06:36,798 and you are making them soul sick 1674 01:06:36,831 --> 01:06:40,300 because you are telling them subliminally and insidiously 1675 01:06:40,334 --> 01:06:41,936 that they are not enough as they are, 1676 01:06:41,970 --> 01:06:43,571 that they are not acceptable as they are. 1677 01:06:43,605 --> 01:06:45,405 That if you don't look like a Kardashian, 1678 01:06:45,439 --> 01:06:46,975 then you're nothing. 1679 01:06:47,007 --> 01:06:48,442 That's the message you're giving, Lana. 1680 01:06:48,475 --> 01:06:50,177 And let me tell you something else 1681 01:06:50,210 --> 01:06:51,178 about Jesus said, a prophet will not be accepted 1682 01:06:51,211 --> 01:06:52,914 in his hometown. 1683 01:06:52,947 --> 01:06:54,147 What? 1684 01:06:54,181 --> 01:06:55,482 Oh, come on, get off the cross. 1685 01:06:55,517 --> 01:06:56,951 We need the wood. 1686 01:06:56,985 --> 01:07:00,755 That poor, poor, poor, poor girl. 1687 01:07:00,788 --> 01:07:02,122 How many poor's was that? 1688 01:07:03,825 --> 01:07:05,092 Look, she still asked for my number 1689 01:07:05,125 --> 01:07:05,960 at the end of the show. 1690 01:07:05,994 --> 01:07:07,461 Meaning what? 1691 01:07:07,494 --> 01:07:09,096 Meaning she couldn't have been that sad 1692 01:07:09,129 --> 01:07:10,798 because she was still trying to fuck me. 1693 01:07:10,832 --> 01:07:12,634 - (Jake chuckles) - Oh my goodness. 1694 01:07:12,667 --> 01:07:14,101 Oh shit, this man. 1695 01:07:14,134 --> 01:07:15,269 Why would you even bring that up? 1696 01:07:15,302 --> 01:07:16,604 - Okay. - You're sick. 1697 01:07:16,638 --> 01:07:18,171 Mr. Special, can I remind you, 1698 01:07:18,205 --> 01:07:20,107 we are live and there are children watching. 1699 01:07:20,140 --> 01:07:21,543 Amen. 1700 01:07:21,576 --> 01:07:22,677 I bring it up, Lana, because it's all 1701 01:07:22,710 --> 01:07:24,144 part of the same sickness. 1702 01:07:24,177 --> 01:07:26,346 If you bag a night with a celebrity, 1703 01:07:26,380 --> 01:07:28,048 it's just another way of trying to prove that you're worthy. 1704 01:07:28,081 --> 01:07:29,817 She should know she is worthy. 1705 01:07:29,851 --> 01:07:31,019 She shouldn't need to prove it. 1706 01:07:31,051 --> 01:07:32,452 That's not a life. 1707 01:07:32,486 --> 01:07:33,655 That's not a life worth living. 1708 01:07:33,688 --> 01:07:35,023 - This... - This dude. 1709 01:07:36,089 --> 01:07:38,526 Why don't we talk about your background? 1710 01:07:38,560 --> 01:07:40,494 We tried doing a little research on you 1711 01:07:40,528 --> 01:07:42,797 before you came on the show and we couldn't find anything. 1712 01:07:42,830 --> 01:07:43,965 I know what this is. 1713 01:07:43,998 --> 01:07:45,165 Where'd you grow up? 1714 01:07:45,198 --> 01:07:46,968 This is the point of the show 1715 01:07:47,001 --> 01:07:49,469 where you are trying to resuscitate your career. 1716 01:07:49,503 --> 01:07:51,471 Ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca. 1717 01:07:51,506 --> 01:07:52,406 - Ca! - Take it down a notch. 1718 01:07:52,439 --> 01:07:53,908 Did I hit a nerve? 1719 01:07:53,942 --> 01:07:55,610 You want to know who I am, Ted? 1720 01:07:58,378 --> 01:07:59,714 You wanna know the real me? 1721 01:08:02,382 --> 01:08:07,589 I eat, I shit, and I'll die like everybody else. 1722 01:08:07,622 --> 01:08:09,057 You want me to shit, Ted? 1723 01:08:09,089 --> 01:08:10,658 - I'll shit for you, Ted. - Profanity. 1724 01:08:10,692 --> 01:08:12,426 Want to see the real me? 1725 01:08:12,459 --> 01:08:13,928 - You wanna see me shit Ted? - (influencers exclaiming) 1726 01:08:13,962 --> 01:08:15,530 'Cause I'll, you know, I'll, I'll shit. 1727 01:08:15,563 --> 01:08:17,932 - Oh yeah, right. - This is what happens, kids, 1728 01:08:17,966 --> 01:08:22,169 when you try to attack the system. 1729 01:08:22,202 --> 01:08:25,006 The system will try to attack you 1730 01:08:25,039 --> 01:08:28,543 and the only way to beat the system 1731 01:08:28,576 --> 01:08:33,280 is to take a big, fat, shit on it. 1732 01:08:33,313 --> 01:08:34,916 - Oh my... - Security. 1733 01:08:34,949 --> 01:08:35,783 Woo! 1734 01:08:37,417 --> 01:08:38,251 Woo! 1735 01:08:39,787 --> 01:08:40,622 Ya-hoo! 1736 01:08:42,557 --> 01:08:43,591 You want a taste, honey? 1737 01:08:43,625 --> 01:08:45,627 Whoa, hey, hey. 1738 01:08:45,660 --> 01:08:46,928 Mark, get 'em Mark! 1739 01:08:47,762 --> 01:08:48,696 What's everyone afraid of? 1740 01:08:48,730 --> 01:08:50,263 It's just play-do. 1741 01:08:50,297 --> 01:08:52,967 (Link grunts) 1742 01:08:53,001 --> 01:08:54,969 (grunting) 1743 01:08:55,003 --> 01:08:56,738 Come and get me. 1744 01:08:56,771 --> 01:08:57,772 Come and get me, come and get me, come and get me. 1745 01:08:57,805 --> 01:08:58,673 No, no, no, Mark! 1746 01:08:59,774 --> 01:09:00,942 Don't touch him. 1747 01:09:00,975 --> 01:09:02,142 I'll find someone to sue you! 1748 01:09:02,175 --> 01:09:03,945 This is a fight for your life! 1749 01:09:03,978 --> 01:09:05,613 This is the fight for your life! 1750 01:09:05,647 --> 01:09:07,381 Don't watch anything. 1751 01:09:07,414 --> 01:09:08,783 Don't view anything. 1752 01:09:08,816 --> 01:09:10,417 Don't like anything. 1753 01:09:10,450 --> 01:09:11,886 Don't click anything. 1754 01:09:11,919 --> 01:09:13,888 Don't let them turn you into zombies. 1755 01:09:13,921 --> 01:09:15,657 They're trying to kill you, unplug- 1756 01:09:16,791 --> 01:09:18,893 (tense synth music) 1757 01:09:18,926 --> 01:09:20,260 Go, go, go, go, drive, drive, drive. 1758 01:09:20,293 --> 01:09:21,461 - Drive, drive! - Go, go, go, go! 1759 01:09:21,495 --> 01:09:23,430 - Woo! - You are crazy! 1760 01:09:29,037 --> 01:09:29,871 Are you okay? 1761 01:09:31,506 --> 01:09:33,473 (Frankie gasps) 1762 01:09:33,508 --> 01:09:35,076 Hey. 1763 01:09:35,109 --> 01:09:36,844 I gotta be at this thing. 1764 01:09:36,878 --> 01:09:38,079 What is it? 1765 01:09:38,112 --> 01:09:39,147 Oh, it's just some pool party 1766 01:09:39,179 --> 01:09:40,648 Mark wants me to go to. 1767 01:09:40,682 --> 01:09:42,449 You would hate it. You wanna come? 1768 01:09:42,482 --> 01:09:43,316 Okay. 1769 01:09:49,322 --> 01:09:51,324 - (phone buzzes) - All right, that's my ride. 1770 01:09:51,358 --> 01:09:52,160 I gotta go. 1771 01:09:53,628 --> 01:09:54,461 Hey. 1772 01:09:56,798 --> 01:09:57,632 Always us. 1773 01:10:01,169 --> 01:10:03,671 (door closes) 1774 01:10:08,710 --> 01:10:13,715 ♪ Greasy train wheels squeal like crying children ♪ 1775 01:10:14,816 --> 01:10:18,886 ♪ Oh yes, they shriek like moaning lovers ♪ 1776 01:10:18,920 --> 01:10:20,888 ♪ Whoa whoa whoa oh ♪ 1777 01:10:20,922 --> 01:10:25,760 ♪ Greasy train wheels squeak like crying children ♪ 1778 01:10:27,061 --> 01:10:31,132 ♪ Oh yes they shriek like moaning lovers ♪ 1779 01:10:31,165 --> 01:10:33,400 ♪ Whoa whoa whoa oh ♪ 1780 01:10:33,433 --> 01:10:38,438 ♪ All the love is flowing from my heart ♪ 1781 01:10:39,607 --> 01:10:44,377 ♪ All the love is flowing from my heart ♪ 1782 01:10:49,016 --> 01:10:50,317 Thank you. 1783 01:10:50,350 --> 01:10:52,587 (clapping) 1784 01:10:54,454 --> 01:10:57,257 (soft jazz music) 1785 01:10:59,127 --> 01:10:59,961 Hey. 1786 01:11:00,928 --> 01:11:02,362 Hi. 1787 01:11:02,395 --> 01:11:03,865 Is that your song? 1788 01:11:03,898 --> 01:11:04,732 Yeah. 1789 01:11:05,967 --> 01:11:07,434 It's beautiful. 1790 01:11:07,467 --> 01:11:08,435 Thank you. 1791 01:11:09,637 --> 01:11:10,470 I'm sorry. 1792 01:11:11,973 --> 01:11:12,874 I'm sorry, too. 1793 01:11:15,475 --> 01:11:16,778 I really need your help. 1794 01:11:18,546 --> 01:11:20,748 It's all falling apart and I need you to come back 1795 01:11:20,782 --> 01:11:22,282 so I can put it back together. 1796 01:11:23,651 --> 01:11:25,253 I want to go back to the way things were. 1797 01:11:25,285 --> 01:11:27,588 I want to incorporate more of your ideas. 1798 01:11:27,622 --> 01:11:28,455 I can't. 1799 01:11:29,489 --> 01:11:32,325 (soft jazz music) 1800 01:11:40,234 --> 01:11:42,970 Was it you that leaked the footage of Isabelle? 1801 01:11:43,004 --> 01:11:44,272 Wow, really? 1802 01:11:45,173 --> 01:11:46,707 Is that why you came back here? 1803 01:11:46,741 --> 01:11:48,276 To see if I leaked the fucking video? 1804 01:11:48,308 --> 01:11:49,544 You think I want to subject that girl 1805 01:11:49,577 --> 01:11:50,711 to even more humiliation? 1806 01:11:50,745 --> 01:11:51,846 Who do you think I am? 1807 01:11:54,782 --> 01:11:55,917 He's full of shit. 1808 01:11:58,286 --> 01:11:59,287 Link? 1809 01:11:59,319 --> 01:12:00,922 That's not even his name. 1810 01:12:00,955 --> 01:12:02,723 He's not who he says he is. 1811 01:12:02,757 --> 01:12:04,391 I spoke to his brother. 1812 01:12:04,424 --> 01:12:05,960 He was the one yelling at him in the graveyard. 1813 01:12:06,861 --> 01:12:08,461 He's a rich kid. 1814 01:12:08,495 --> 01:12:10,998 Really. His parents are alive. 1815 01:12:11,032 --> 01:12:12,332 Link's parents died. 1816 01:12:12,365 --> 01:12:13,201 No. 1817 01:12:15,335 --> 01:12:16,838 His brother tracked us down. 1818 01:12:17,805 --> 01:12:18,673 Here. 1819 01:12:18,706 --> 01:12:20,274 Read this. 1820 01:12:20,308 --> 01:12:21,309 Okay? 1821 01:12:21,341 --> 01:12:23,244 There's a lot in here. 1822 01:12:23,277 --> 01:12:24,444 He burned down his school. He's been institutionalized. 1823 01:12:24,477 --> 01:12:26,413 The family is covering it up. 1824 01:12:26,446 --> 01:12:28,516 You can call me jealous, you can call me pathetic, 1825 01:12:28,549 --> 01:12:30,151 but I am telling you he is a liar 1826 01:12:30,184 --> 01:12:31,719 and you need to open your eyes. 1827 01:12:36,657 --> 01:12:39,160 Why would you do this? 1828 01:12:39,193 --> 01:12:40,862 Because I'm in love with you. 1829 01:12:43,331 --> 01:12:44,932 And I've always been in love with you, 1830 01:12:44,966 --> 01:12:46,399 and I know that doesn't even matter, but I am. 1831 01:12:49,502 --> 01:12:52,340 (soft jazz music) 1832 01:12:53,373 --> 01:12:54,208 I'm sorry. 1833 01:13:08,155 --> 01:13:10,658 (tense music) 1834 01:13:17,732 --> 01:13:18,733 (Link laughs) 1835 01:13:18,766 --> 01:13:20,334 What do you call that? 1836 01:13:20,368 --> 01:13:21,369 Trust me, I'm gonna get you out of here. 1837 01:13:21,401 --> 01:13:22,370 You gotta kick the habit. 1838 01:13:22,402 --> 01:13:23,871 Do you eat peanuts? 1839 01:13:23,905 --> 01:13:25,506 There's a lot of peanuts in Thai food. 1840 01:13:25,539 --> 01:13:26,374 All right, intimacy levels are too high. 1841 01:13:26,406 --> 01:13:27,341 Abort mission. 1842 01:13:27,375 --> 01:13:28,743 Why'd you do that? 1843 01:13:28,776 --> 01:13:29,977 It's beautiful, it's a part of you. 1844 01:13:30,011 --> 01:13:30,845 You gotta be dumb to be smart. 1845 01:13:30,878 --> 01:13:31,846 (tires squeal) 1846 01:13:31,879 --> 01:13:33,147 (crashing) 1847 01:13:33,180 --> 01:13:34,582 Shit! 1848 01:13:36,350 --> 01:13:38,552 (Frankie winces) 1849 01:13:38,586 --> 01:13:40,388 (door unlocks) 1850 01:13:40,420 --> 01:13:41,555 Hey Frankie. 1851 01:13:41,589 --> 01:13:43,024 Hey Frankie. 1852 01:13:43,057 --> 01:13:44,491 Hey Frankie. 1853 01:13:44,525 --> 01:13:45,526 Hey Frankie. 1854 01:13:46,861 --> 01:13:47,862 Are you okay? 1855 01:13:47,895 --> 01:13:49,230 I'm fine. 1856 01:13:49,263 --> 01:13:50,564 - I just cut my hand. - Oh, shit. 1857 01:13:50,598 --> 01:13:51,832 - Oh, I'm sorry. - No, no, no. 1858 01:13:51,866 --> 01:13:53,234 - Can I see? - Yeah, yeah. 1859 01:13:53,267 --> 01:13:55,903 - (Link winces) - Ow. 1860 01:13:55,937 --> 01:13:57,171 I'm sorry. 1861 01:13:57,204 --> 01:13:58,272 - It's okay. - That sucks. 1862 01:13:58,306 --> 01:13:59,407 Okay, keep pressure on it. 1863 01:14:00,541 --> 01:14:01,943 I'll get you something. 1864 01:14:01,976 --> 01:14:04,879 Uh, let's see what we got in here. 1865 01:14:04,912 --> 01:14:07,048 We're gonna fix you up. 1866 01:14:07,081 --> 01:14:08,950 Here, this is going to be nice. 1867 01:14:08,983 --> 01:14:09,784 Let me see. 1868 01:14:12,485 --> 01:14:13,321 Aww. 1869 01:14:19,060 --> 01:14:21,796 I wanted to tell you I got this kind of big news 1870 01:14:22,797 --> 01:14:25,333 and I didn't want to share with anybody but you. 1871 01:14:29,236 --> 01:14:30,972 What is it? 1872 01:14:31,005 --> 01:14:33,341 They want me to headline a live stream event for YouTube. 1873 01:14:35,977 --> 01:14:38,145 (laughing) 1874 01:14:38,179 --> 01:14:43,084 And I just realized that I got nothing to say without you. 1875 01:14:43,117 --> 01:14:45,152 It scares me. 1876 01:14:45,186 --> 01:14:47,822 I've never felt this way about another human being before. 1877 01:14:52,960 --> 01:14:55,629 (heart beating) 1878 01:14:57,497 --> 01:15:02,502 - (heart beating) - (soft synth music) 1879 01:15:17,351 --> 01:15:22,356 ♪ You've gotta wonder what the story means ♪ 1880 01:15:26,994 --> 01:15:31,999 ♪ It's under all of us, it goes unseen ♪ 1881 01:15:33,501 --> 01:15:35,369 ♪ You've given your purpose ♪ 1882 01:15:35,403 --> 01:15:38,639 ♪ Now they've taken your dream ♪ 1883 01:15:38,672 --> 01:15:43,110 ♪ But you can't hide behind the two extremes ♪ 1884 01:15:43,144 --> 01:15:47,314 ♪ Your weight in the world ♪ 1885 01:15:47,348 --> 01:15:48,816 I could definitely do it. 1886 01:15:48,849 --> 01:15:51,085 Yeah, it's very easy to do. 1887 01:15:52,553 --> 01:15:53,888 What the fuck? 1888 01:15:55,990 --> 01:15:57,191 It's crazy. 1889 01:15:57,224 --> 01:15:59,126 It's crazy. 1890 01:15:59,160 --> 01:16:01,028 Imagine this place full of people? 1891 01:16:01,062 --> 01:16:02,663 A couple hundred lucky ticket holders, 1892 01:16:02,696 --> 01:16:04,698 an estimated five million watching live. 1893 01:16:04,732 --> 01:16:07,368 - Around the world! - Around the world! 1894 01:16:08,602 --> 01:16:10,171 Crazy. 1895 01:16:10,204 --> 01:16:11,572 And Mark thinks I can fly in from the back. 1896 01:16:11,605 --> 01:16:12,840 Why? 1897 01:16:12,873 --> 01:16:15,176 Spectacle is why. Look at this. 1898 01:16:15,209 --> 01:16:17,945 But we haven't even figured out what we're gonna say? 1899 01:16:19,914 --> 01:16:21,849 Maybe we'll figure that out later. 1900 01:16:21,882 --> 01:16:23,518 And you're even gonna hear 'em over the screaming anyway. 1901 01:16:23,552 --> 01:16:24,553 Let me show you something. 1902 01:16:24,585 --> 01:16:25,986 Hm? 1903 01:16:26,020 --> 01:16:26,687 You guys wanna see something crazy? 1904 01:16:26,720 --> 01:16:28,155 Sure. 1905 01:16:28,189 --> 01:16:30,724 This right here, this is a trap door. 1906 01:16:30,758 --> 01:16:31,859 Whoa! 1907 01:16:31,892 --> 01:16:32,726 Oh! 1908 01:16:34,061 --> 01:16:37,064 (tense synth music) 1909 01:16:50,244 --> 01:16:52,113 Roberts faced heavy trolling 1910 01:16:52,146 --> 01:16:54,348 on social media after a clip surfaced of the game show. 1911 01:16:54,381 --> 01:16:57,552 Mr. Special defended his actions at a round table discussion 1912 01:16:57,586 --> 01:17:00,955 where he accused Ms. Roberts of trying to seduce him. 1913 01:17:00,988 --> 01:17:02,623 She couldn't have been that sad 1914 01:17:02,656 --> 01:17:04,526 because she was still trying (bleep). 1915 01:17:04,559 --> 01:17:06,727 If you bag a night with a celebrity, 1916 01:17:06,760 --> 01:17:09,029 it's just another way of trying to prove that you're worthy. 1917 01:17:09,063 --> 01:17:11,799 She shouldn't need to prove it. That's not a life. 1918 01:17:11,832 --> 01:17:13,901 That's not a life worth living. 1919 01:17:13,934 --> 01:17:15,537 Early reports suggest 1920 01:17:15,570 --> 01:17:17,371 she hanged herself in her bedroom closet. 1921 01:17:17,404 --> 01:17:20,975 A coroner at the scene says he does not believe... 1922 01:17:21,008 --> 01:17:24,845 (tense, dramatic synth music) 1923 01:18:34,415 --> 01:18:39,019 - (barfing) - (clattering) 1924 01:18:42,856 --> 01:18:44,925 (coughs) 1925 01:18:47,995 --> 01:18:49,496 - (water running) - (bubbling) 1926 01:18:49,531 --> 01:18:51,332 Mark. 1927 01:18:51,365 --> 01:18:52,567 Mark. 1928 01:18:53,767 --> 01:18:54,735 Have you seen this? 1929 01:18:54,768 --> 01:18:55,803 Everybody hates me. 1930 01:18:55,836 --> 01:18:57,171 Everyone's blaming me. 1931 01:18:57,204 --> 01:18:59,940 It says No One Special's canceled. 1932 01:19:01,108 --> 01:19:02,343 This asshole needs to burn in hell. 1933 01:19:02,376 --> 01:19:04,011 How are we going to fix it? 1934 01:19:04,044 --> 01:19:06,747 You told her her life wasn't worth living. 1935 01:19:06,780 --> 01:19:08,583 I didn't ask her to kill herself. 1936 01:19:10,685 --> 01:19:11,885 Are you blaming me, too? 1937 01:19:12,753 --> 01:19:14,488 Oh, oh, oh. 1938 01:19:14,522 --> 01:19:18,025 Wow, wow, wow, fu... 1939 01:19:18,058 --> 01:19:19,994 A girl is dead and all you care about 1940 01:19:20,027 --> 01:19:21,795 is what people are saying about you. 1941 01:19:25,199 --> 01:19:26,800 Jake talked to your brother. 1942 01:19:28,969 --> 01:19:32,741 Have you told me one single thing that was true? 1943 01:19:43,217 --> 01:19:44,051 I'm sorry. 1944 01:19:47,589 --> 01:19:49,056 I'm sorry I didn't stop you. 1945 01:20:07,107 --> 01:20:10,512 (soft, melancholy music) 1946 01:20:22,624 --> 01:20:27,629 - (sobbing) - (soft, melancholy music) 1947 01:20:29,163 --> 01:20:32,667 (soft, melancholy music) 1948 01:21:05,667 --> 01:21:09,870 Hey guys, so I read the news about Link and Isabelle 1949 01:21:09,903 --> 01:21:11,806 and I want to apologize for even having 1950 01:21:11,840 --> 01:21:13,474 that guy on the show. 1951 01:21:13,508 --> 01:21:14,642 To Isabelle, my condolences go out to you. 1952 01:21:14,676 --> 01:21:15,943 This makes me so mad. 1953 01:21:15,976 --> 01:21:17,545 This could have been prevented. 1954 01:21:17,579 --> 01:21:19,012 - What's up with this dude? - You're a joke. 1955 01:21:19,046 --> 01:21:20,381 - This woman is dead... - Thrown in jail! 1956 01:21:20,414 --> 01:21:22,483 That girl was just a fuckin' ho... 1957 01:21:22,517 --> 01:21:23,651 - He had very good points. - Murderer. 1958 01:21:23,685 --> 01:21:25,119 He killed that girl. 1959 01:21:25,152 --> 01:21:26,320 I like how he tells it how it is. 1960 01:21:26,353 --> 01:21:28,055 This guy is an A-one scumbag. 1961 01:21:28,088 --> 01:21:29,691 I think that No One Special should be President. 1962 01:21:29,724 --> 01:21:31,626 - I just wanna say- - Fuck No One Special. 1963 01:21:31,659 --> 01:21:34,729 - You suck. - We love No One Special. 1964 01:21:35,830 --> 01:21:40,668 - (applause) - (tense music) 1965 01:22:02,222 --> 01:22:05,727 (dramatic ethereal music) 1966 01:22:27,816 --> 01:22:31,318 (upbeat synth pop music) 1967 01:22:58,513 --> 01:22:59,346 Hey! 1968 01:23:00,682 --> 01:23:05,687 - (phone pinging) - (upbeat synth pop music) 1969 01:23:06,353 --> 01:23:09,791 (upbeat synth pop music) 1970 01:23:45,627 --> 01:23:50,632 - (audience cheering) - (synth pop music) 1971 01:24:02,242 --> 01:24:04,812 (audience cheering) 1972 01:24:04,846 --> 01:24:07,782 I want to dedicate this performance to Isabelle Roberts. 1973 01:24:07,815 --> 01:24:09,817 Isabelle was an amazing girl 1974 01:24:10,985 --> 01:24:14,121 and she passed away tragically two days ago. 1975 01:24:14,154 --> 01:24:16,290 I want to send out all my love, 1976 01:24:16,323 --> 01:24:20,762 my thoughts, and my prayers to her family and her friends. 1977 01:24:23,031 --> 01:24:24,364 And I wanna say I'm sorry. 1978 01:24:26,734 --> 01:24:27,569 I'm sorry. 1979 01:24:30,705 --> 01:24:35,710 - (tense music) - (insects buzzing) 1980 01:24:39,747 --> 01:24:43,851 I've been told that I should feel some responsibility 1981 01:24:43,885 --> 01:24:45,419 for what happened and... 1982 01:24:46,453 --> 01:24:49,389 But I can't just stand here and... 1983 01:24:49,423 --> 01:24:50,525 (soft ethereal music) 1984 01:24:50,558 --> 01:24:51,693 Shut up, shut up, shut up. 1985 01:24:51,726 --> 01:24:54,062 That, that part's canceled. 1986 01:24:54,127 --> 01:24:57,097 I can't just stand here and accept responsibility 1987 01:24:57,130 --> 01:24:59,701 for someone else's choices, actions, 1988 01:24:59,734 --> 01:25:03,103 and in fact it was you who pushed her 1989 01:25:03,136 --> 01:25:04,939 over the fucking cliff's edge. 1990 01:25:07,609 --> 01:25:11,311 Yeah, you, with your gutless trolling. 1991 01:25:12,446 --> 01:25:14,882 You killed her, motherfucker! 1992 01:25:14,916 --> 01:25:16,249 All of you killed her. 1993 01:25:16,283 --> 01:25:17,619 That's the truth. 1994 01:25:17,652 --> 01:25:18,786 And you're trying to kill me, too, 1995 01:25:18,820 --> 01:25:19,854 and I'm not gonna let it happen. 1996 01:25:19,887 --> 01:25:21,221 No, not today. 1997 01:25:21,254 --> 01:25:22,122 Not ever. 1998 01:25:25,225 --> 01:25:27,562 Easy to talk shit when it's behind a screen, right? 1999 01:25:27,595 --> 01:25:29,697 What about right now? I dare you. 2000 01:25:29,731 --> 01:25:31,733 Come through that computer screen you're hiding behind, 2001 01:25:31,766 --> 01:25:34,802 stand in this room, stand face to face, do it to my face. 2002 01:25:34,836 --> 01:25:36,604 Anybody in the room, anybody? 2003 01:25:41,341 --> 01:25:43,911 Look, maybe I did push Isabelle too far. Maybe I did. 2004 01:25:43,945 --> 01:25:47,048 I pushed her too far. Maybe I was using her for views. 2005 01:25:47,081 --> 01:25:49,751 I'll cop to that, but I did it for you. 2006 01:25:52,452 --> 01:25:54,889 You see what this shit is doing to us? 2007 01:25:54,922 --> 01:25:56,557 We're not real to each other anymore 2008 01:25:56,591 --> 01:25:58,726 and we're all just using each other. 2009 01:25:58,760 --> 01:26:00,327 This isn't a vi... 2010 01:26:00,360 --> 01:26:01,829 I'm not a video game. I'm not two dimensional. 2011 01:26:01,863 --> 01:26:04,231 I'm not two-D. I'm flesh and I'm blood. 2012 01:26:04,264 --> 01:26:06,134 You're all flesh and blood. 2013 01:26:06,166 --> 01:26:07,835 Isabelle was flesh and blood. 2014 01:26:08,670 --> 01:26:10,104 We're all just fucking killing each other, 2015 01:26:10,138 --> 01:26:11,039 like it's sport. 2016 01:26:14,042 --> 01:26:15,043 We're fucked. 2017 01:26:16,711 --> 01:26:18,079 Oh, you want me to be nice? 2018 01:26:18,112 --> 01:26:19,747 I almost had you, didn't I? 2019 01:26:19,781 --> 01:26:24,018 With the candles and the choir and the singing. 2020 01:26:25,853 --> 01:26:28,022 That's what we want him to say. What a good boy. 2021 01:26:28,056 --> 01:26:29,957 He's playing so nice. 2022 01:26:29,991 --> 01:26:31,559 We can let him back in the club. 2023 01:26:32,694 --> 01:26:35,462 Fuck that club! 2024 01:26:35,495 --> 01:26:37,464 I'm trying to wake you up from that club, 2025 01:26:37,497 --> 01:26:40,200 you numbed out, dead inside zombies! 2026 01:26:42,302 --> 01:26:43,938 You're all dead! 2027 01:26:43,971 --> 01:26:44,806 You're all numb! 2028 01:26:46,373 --> 01:26:47,809 I'm sorry. 2029 01:26:47,842 --> 01:26:49,544 This is the first time in my life 2030 01:26:49,577 --> 01:26:51,445 where I felt a part of something bigger than me, 2031 01:26:51,478 --> 01:26:52,613 something that I don't want to lose. 2032 01:26:52,647 --> 01:26:53,881 I don't want to lose you, 2033 01:26:55,817 --> 01:26:58,351 but I refuse to let you straitjacket me! 2034 01:27:02,389 --> 01:27:03,524 I can't. 2035 01:27:03,558 --> 01:27:05,292 I gotta speak my truth, man. 2036 01:27:05,325 --> 01:27:06,527 I gotta speak my truth. 2037 01:27:06,561 --> 01:27:08,162 You know, what's crazy? 2038 01:27:10,098 --> 01:27:11,632 I want to do what I want. 2039 01:27:11,666 --> 01:27:13,668 I'm on the stage. I don't give a fuck. 2040 01:27:13,701 --> 01:27:15,169 I'll fuckin' hump the stage. 2041 01:27:15,203 --> 01:27:18,172 (grunting) 2042 01:27:18,206 --> 01:27:20,373 (Link screams) 2043 01:27:22,744 --> 01:27:26,681 I'm not gonna play fucking Coldplay songs. 2044 01:27:26,714 --> 01:27:29,349 I'm not gonna play Coldplay songs. 2045 01:27:29,382 --> 01:27:31,318 Fucking watch Coldplay! 2046 01:27:31,351 --> 01:27:33,353 You're trying to kill my deep, profound, 2047 01:27:33,386 --> 01:27:34,856 life giving impulse. 2048 01:27:34,889 --> 01:27:36,190 I'm not gonna let you do it. 2049 01:27:36,224 --> 01:27:37,558 No! Hell no. 2050 01:27:37,592 --> 01:27:38,425 Not today. 2051 01:27:41,696 --> 01:27:43,531 You know what the best part of all this is? 2052 01:27:43,564 --> 01:27:45,199 You're just the same as me, 2053 01:27:45,233 --> 01:27:47,869 way down there in that deep dark pit 2054 01:27:47,902 --> 01:27:49,537 you're afraid to look inside. 2055 01:27:49,570 --> 01:27:51,873 I'm just the only one that's willing to say it. 2056 01:27:56,309 --> 01:27:58,146 My name is Alex Goodrich. 2057 01:28:00,447 --> 01:28:01,616 I'm from Connecticut, 2058 01:28:03,985 --> 01:28:06,621 and this is the first time I'm telling you the truth. 2059 01:28:09,489 --> 01:28:11,159 And all I need to know is 2060 01:28:12,760 --> 01:28:15,395 are you with me or are you against me? 2061 01:28:20,134 --> 01:28:22,970 And if you're with me, click that like button. 2062 01:28:30,812 --> 01:28:31,646 Fuck you. 2063 01:28:34,115 --> 01:28:35,315 You're welcome. 2064 01:28:36,951 --> 01:28:38,953 (sighs) 2065 01:28:42,256 --> 01:28:45,293 - (audience applause) - (cheering) 2066 01:28:45,325 --> 01:28:48,262 No One Special! No One Special! 2067 01:28:48,296 --> 01:28:50,865 No One Special! No One Special! 2068 01:28:51,833 --> 01:28:53,568 No One Special! 2069 01:28:53,601 --> 01:28:57,605 Special, Special, Special, Special, Special, 2070 01:28:57,638 --> 01:28:59,807 Special, Special, Special. 2071 01:29:03,611 --> 01:29:06,514 (soft piano music) 2072 01:29:06,572 --> 01:29:11,572 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2073 01:30:05,940 --> 01:30:08,876 (soft synth music) 2074 01:30:45,579 --> 01:30:48,416 (synth pop music) 2075 01:30:51,986 --> 01:30:56,524 ♪ Seeing it fell down ♪ 2076 01:30:56,557 --> 01:30:59,894 ♪ Didn't make a sound ♪ 2077 01:30:59,927 --> 01:31:04,932 ♪ Can you live here anymore ♪ 2078 01:31:05,766 --> 01:31:10,371 ♪ What's outside your door ♪ 2079 01:31:10,404 --> 01:31:13,708 ♪ Home is on the floor ♪ 2080 01:31:13,741 --> 01:31:18,746 ♪ Can you be here anymore ♪ 2081 01:31:19,479 --> 01:31:24,484 ♪ It's taken longer than you've seen back home ♪ 2082 01:31:26,454 --> 01:31:27,788 ♪ Yeah ♪ 2083 01:31:27,822 --> 01:31:30,658 (synth pop music) 2084 01:31:54,215 --> 01:31:58,853 ♪ Seeing it fell down ♪ 2085 01:31:58,886 --> 01:32:02,289 ♪ Didn't make a sound ♪ 2086 01:32:02,323 --> 01:32:07,328 ♪ Can you live here anymore ♪ 2087 01:32:08,162 --> 01:32:12,767 ♪ What's outside your door ♪ 2088 01:32:12,800 --> 01:32:16,170 ♪ Home is on the floor ♪ 2089 01:32:16,203 --> 01:32:21,175 ♪ Can you be here anymore ♪ 2090 01:32:21,842 --> 01:32:26,847 ♪ It's taken longer than you've seen back home ♪ 2091 01:32:28,582 --> 01:32:33,154 ♪ It's harder in the background ♪ 2092 01:32:33,187 --> 01:32:37,625 ♪ You try to make someone confused ♪ 2093 01:32:37,658 --> 01:32:42,163 ♪ They're seeing where you come from ♪ 2094 01:32:42,196 --> 01:32:47,334 ♪ It's worse when it's all you can do ♪ 2095 01:32:47,368 --> 01:32:51,540 ♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪ 2096 01:32:51,572 --> 01:32:56,343 ♪ It's harder in the background ♪ 2097 01:32:56,377 --> 01:33:00,748 ♪ You try to make someone confused ♪ 2098 01:33:00,781 --> 01:33:05,352 ♪ They're seeing where you come from ♪ 2099 01:33:05,386 --> 01:33:10,525 ♪ It's worse when it's all you can do ♪ 2100 01:33:10,559 --> 01:33:13,394 (synth pop music) 2101 01:33:19,366 --> 01:33:23,904 ♪ Seeing it fell down ♪ 2102 01:33:23,938 --> 01:33:27,374 ♪ Didn't make a sound ♪ 2103 01:33:27,408 --> 01:33:32,413 ♪ Can you live here anymore ♪ 2104 01:33:33,147 --> 01:33:37,785 ♪ What's outside your door ♪ 2105 01:33:37,818 --> 01:33:41,523 ♪ Home is on the floor ♪ 2106 01:33:41,556 --> 01:33:46,961 ♪ Can you be here anymore ♪ 2107 01:33:46,994 --> 01:33:51,999 ♪ It's taken longer than you've seen back home ♪ 2108 01:33:53,901 --> 01:33:58,239 ♪ It's harder in the background ♪ 2109 01:33:58,272 --> 01:34:02,810 ♪ You try to make someone confused ♪ 2110 01:34:02,843 --> 01:34:07,381 ♪ They're seeing where you come from ♪ 2111 01:34:07,414 --> 01:34:12,554 ♪ It's worse when it's all you can do ♪ 2112 01:34:12,587 --> 01:34:16,558 ♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪ 2113 01:34:16,591 --> 01:34:21,162 ♪ It's harder in the background ♪ 2114 01:34:21,195 --> 01:34:25,766 ♪ You try to make someone confused ♪ 2115 01:34:25,799 --> 01:34:30,404 ♪ They're seeing where you come from ♪ 2116 01:34:30,437 --> 01:34:35,809 ♪ It's worse when it's all you can do ♪ 2117 01:34:35,843 --> 01:34:38,345 ♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪ 145623