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- (soft music)
- (film reel rolling)
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00:00:06,685 --> 00:00:09,507
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
3
00:00:10,979 --> 00:00:13,815
(synth pop music)
4
00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:19,621
♪ Seen it fell down ♪
5
00:00:19,654 --> 00:00:23,190
♪ Didn't make a sound ♪
6
00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:28,228
♪ Can you live here anymore ♪
7
00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:33,535
♪ What's outside the door ♪
8
00:00:33,568 --> 00:00:36,971
♪ Home is on the floor ♪
9
00:00:37,005 --> 00:00:42,010
♪ Can you live here anymore ♪
10
00:00:42,644 --> 00:00:47,649
♪ It's taking longer
than you've seen back home ♪
11
00:00:49,884 --> 00:00:52,720
(synth pop music)
12
00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:22,050
♪ Seen it fell down ♪
13
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:25,520
♪ Didn't make a sound ♪
14
00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:30,558
♪ Can you live here anymore ♪
15
00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:36,030
♪ What's outside the door ♪
16
00:01:36,064 --> 00:01:39,399
♪ Home is on the floor ♪
17
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:44,438
♪ Can you be here anymore ♪
18
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:49,276
♪ It's taken longer
than you've seen back home ♪
19
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I mean we work together here-
20
00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:51,679
Frankie. Excuse me.
21
00:01:51,713 --> 00:01:53,615
Hi. How are you?
22
00:01:53,648 --> 00:01:56,450
I couldn't help but notice
that you touched your hair
23
00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:58,720
and then you touched the glass
right afterwards.
24
00:01:58,753 --> 00:02:02,924
This isn't a fucking barn and
it's also not rocket surgery.
25
00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,458
- I'm sorry.
- Rocket surgery?
26
00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:06,126
What's rocket surgery?
27
00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:08,096
(Frankie snorts)
28
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,497
Can you please straighten
your body and get back to work?
29
00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:11,365
Thank you.
30
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:16,203
- Wow.
- (Frankie sighs)
31
00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:18,106
(grunts)
32
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:21,141
(lights flickering)
33
00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:25,278
(soft synth music)
34
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:31,919
♪ Watching how ♪
35
00:02:31,953 --> 00:02:37,324
♪ You take something ♪
36
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:39,894
♪ All you have to do ♪
37
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:42,530
♪ Watching how ♪
38
00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:47,969
♪ You take something ♪
39
00:02:48,002 --> 00:02:50,605
♪ Blah ay ah ah ♪
40
00:02:50,638 --> 00:02:53,173
♪ Watching how ♪
41
00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:56,309
♪ You take something ♪
42
00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:00,548
Hi, it's mama.
43
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:01,849
You never pick up the phone.
44
00:03:01,883 --> 00:03:03,518
Have you been drinking?
45
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:05,520
I think you should come home
if you're not
46
00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:07,855
going to school and you're
just making those weird videos.
47
00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:13,728
(synth music)
48
00:03:17,899 --> 00:03:20,333
(muffled gibberish)
49
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:21,368
I'm sorry?
50
00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:22,870
(muffled gibberish)
51
00:03:22,904 --> 00:03:24,706
I can't understand you
through the-
52
00:03:24,739 --> 00:03:25,707
I said...
53
00:03:25,740 --> 00:03:27,675
(speaking gibberish)
54
00:03:27,709 --> 00:03:29,209
Oh.
You filming me?
55
00:03:29,242 --> 00:03:30,410
- No, I-
- Come clean.
56
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:32,113
No, I'm...
57
00:03:32,146 --> 00:03:35,149
You were in the frame,
but I was filming the...
58
00:03:35,183 --> 00:03:36,651
There's all these people
and there's this painting
59
00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:37,952
just hanging there.
60
00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:38,820
Can I see?
61
00:03:39,821 --> 00:03:40,588
Uh...
62
00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:41,455
Yeah.
63
00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:49,964
- (chittering)
- (Link chuckles)
64
00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:52,033
Yeah, no, that's kinda great.
65
00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:52,900
Thank you.
66
00:03:54,202 --> 00:03:55,570
All right,
you gotta hold my cheese
67
00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:56,938
and you gotta take care
of my head.
68
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,841
All right, ladies and gentlemen.
69
00:04:01,175 --> 00:04:04,078
Hey folks, can I, can I have
everybody's attention please?
70
00:04:04,112 --> 00:04:05,847
On the wall behind me,
71
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:08,315
it's not just a pretty picture
to distract you
72
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:11,451
while you're waiting in line
to take a shit.
73
00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:14,254
And to be honest,
the way that you guys are
74
00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:17,058
treating this painting
is upsetting my friend.
75
00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:19,627
This is a man's soul right here.
76
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:21,195
Yeah.
77
00:04:21,229 --> 00:04:24,632
And he's,
he's bearing it in the hopes
78
00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:28,236
that for a split second,
you will go beyond your own lives.
79
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:31,672
Go beyond your need
to just buy things.
80
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,776
So ladies and gentlemen...
81
00:04:36,911 --> 00:04:37,745
This is...
82
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,480
This is a way out.
83
00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:43,217
You know?
84
00:04:43,251 --> 00:04:44,218
(grunts)
85
00:04:44,252 --> 00:04:45,186
Ah, ha ha ha ha, ho!
86
00:04:45,219 --> 00:04:47,021
So eat it up.
87
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:49,791
Don't eat shoes.
Don't eat skateboards.
88
00:04:49,824 --> 00:04:53,094
Don't eat nail polish.
Eat the art.
89
00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:54,662
Eat the art! Eat the art!
90
00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:56,130
Eat the art!
91
00:04:56,164 --> 00:04:57,430
It tastes good.
It tastes really good.
92
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,866
Eat the art.
93
00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:00,234
All together now.
94
00:05:00,268 --> 00:05:01,269
Eat the art.
95
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,970
Eat the art, eat the art,
96
00:05:03,004 --> 00:05:05,039
eat the art, eat the art,
97
00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:06,473
eat the art.
98
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:07,742
They don't want you
to hear this,
99
00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,777
they want you to keep shopping!
100
00:05:09,811 --> 00:05:12,713
(soft synth music)
101
00:05:23,191 --> 00:05:26,127
(rapid chattering)
102
00:05:31,866 --> 00:05:35,002
(soft synth music)
103
00:05:35,036 --> 00:05:37,305
(clapping)
104
00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:42,176
(people chattering)
105
00:05:42,210 --> 00:05:43,544
Was that a smile?
106
00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:46,714
No.
107
00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:47,715
No, I just have something
in my eye.
108
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:49,349
Will you look at it?
109
00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:50,718
I really think I have
something in my eye.
110
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,352
- Ew, ew.
- No, don't you see it?
111
00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:53,721
Is it an eyelash
or like a bug or something?
112
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:54,589
- Do you see-
- So fucking gross.
113
00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:56,090
Hey Frankie.
114
00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:57,357
Romeo.
115
00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:58,326
You done flirting?
116
00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:01,428
Uh, Judy needs you to sub in.
117
00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:02,462
What?
118
00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:03,664
For her act tonight.
119
00:06:03,698 --> 00:06:05,032
The baby's not coming, so...
120
00:06:07,068 --> 00:06:07,869
That's pretty rough.
121
00:06:07,902 --> 00:06:08,936
No.
122
00:06:08,970 --> 00:06:09,837
Shots.
123
00:06:09,871 --> 00:06:11,138
No.
124
00:06:11,172 --> 00:06:13,440
(people chattering)
125
00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:14,374
Let's get weird.
126
00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:15,810
(glasses clink)
127
00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:18,713
(people chattering)
128
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:22,283
- (Frankie sighs)
- (Jake grunts)
129
00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:24,552
(clapping)
130
00:06:25,853 --> 00:06:27,622
Wasn't he wonderful?
131
00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:28,623
Oh my gosh.
132
00:06:28,656 --> 00:06:30,558
I'm so happy to see you.
133
00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:32,026
Hello, I'm Judy and this is
my husband, Marty, over there.
134
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,028
Say hello Marty.
135
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,196
(farting)
136
00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:36,030
Now, let's bring out Faith.
137
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,765
Oh my god.
138
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,668
(synth pop music)
139
00:06:49,277 --> 00:06:54,282
♪ I pictured a rainbow ♪
140
00:06:55,016 --> 00:06:58,886
♪ You held it in your hands ♪
141
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:03,758
♪ I had flashes ♪
142
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:04,725
♪ But you saw ♪
143
00:07:04,759 --> 00:07:05,993
(tires screech)
144
00:07:06,027 --> 00:07:08,029
(honks)
145
00:07:09,931 --> 00:07:10,865
Hey.
146
00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:12,033
Hay is for horses.
147
00:07:12,066 --> 00:07:12,900
Kandinsky.
148
00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:15,770
From the mall last week.
149
00:07:19,307 --> 00:07:20,641
I gotta talk to this girl
real quick.
150
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,545
Oh yeah.
151
00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,213
Yeah. You lost me my job.
152
00:07:26,247 --> 00:07:27,782
What?
153
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,283
So you're a cockroach now?
154
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:32,920
(spraying)
155
00:07:32,954 --> 00:07:34,288
- Yeah.
- What are you doing?
156
00:07:34,322 --> 00:07:35,022
- That'll be a buck.
- Uh, okay.
157
00:07:35,056 --> 00:07:35,790
(honking)
158
00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:37,591
Go around.
159
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:38,693
Hey, I really want to talk
to you.
160
00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:39,894
Can I have your number?
161
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:41,929
No.
162
00:07:41,963 --> 00:07:43,030
No, I don't got one.
163
00:07:43,064 --> 00:07:44,732
You don't have a phone?
164
00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,499
Well, I don't need one.
165
00:07:48,436 --> 00:07:49,937
How do I get ahold of you?
166
00:07:49,971 --> 00:07:51,272
Hollywood and Ivar.
167
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:53,374
- Hollywood and Ivar?
- Yeah.
168
00:07:53,407 --> 00:07:54,575
The corner?
169
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,243
On the roof, after five.
170
00:07:56,277 --> 00:07:57,712
Okay.
171
00:07:57,745 --> 00:07:59,146
No, not yet!
Yo, wait, we're walkin'!
172
00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:01,415
Pedestrians got
the right of way, man.
173
00:08:01,449 --> 00:08:02,283
Shit.
174
00:08:04,118 --> 00:08:09,123
- (girl laughing)
- (water splashing)
175
00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:13,995
All right, show me your best.
176
00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:19,834
- (splashes)
- Not bad.
177
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:23,070
How did I do, cockroach man?
178
00:08:23,104 --> 00:08:24,605
That was...
179
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:28,309
That's a five.
Ah, come on.
180
00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:29,176
Five?
181
00:08:32,046 --> 00:08:36,684
- (splashing)
- (Link laughs)
182
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:37,651
What do you call this?
183
00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:38,853
It's a jack knife.
184
00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:40,054
- A jack knife?
- Yup.
185
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:43,357
And what do you call
that cockroach costume?
186
00:08:43,391 --> 00:08:44,859
(Link laughs)
187
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:45,860
That's my day job.
188
00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:48,763
Think you can do better?
189
00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:51,832
Uh, yes.
190
00:08:51,866 --> 00:08:52,700
Hey.
191
00:08:55,236 --> 00:08:56,871
- (splashing)
- Oh!
192
00:08:56,904 --> 00:09:01,108
Yeah!
(clapping)
193
00:09:01,142 --> 00:09:02,209
Seriously?
194
00:09:02,243 --> 00:09:03,677
It's like a five.
195
00:09:03,711 --> 00:09:05,446
What am I gonna say?
It's a five.
196
00:09:05,479 --> 00:09:07,381
I filmed your speech
and I posted it on YouTube
197
00:09:07,415 --> 00:09:09,784
and it's doing really well.
198
00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:11,318
Like really, really,
really well,
199
00:09:11,352 --> 00:09:14,055
and it's already got like,
2000 views.
200
00:09:15,256 --> 00:09:16,891
Uh, is that a lot?
201
00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:18,726
For me, yeah.
202
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:20,361
I only have like, you know,
barely 100 subscribers.
203
00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:21,862
I don't know,
people are commenting things
204
00:09:21,896 --> 00:09:23,197
and it's all really positive
and...
205
00:09:24,498 --> 00:09:25,332
That's good.
206
00:09:27,168 --> 00:09:29,504
(splashing)
207
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:32,006
How was that?
208
00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:33,107
That's a seven.
209
00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:35,976
Sammy, time to go.
210
00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:37,378
Say goodbye to your friend Link.
211
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,246
But we're not finished.
212
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,182
That's all right,
we'll finish later.
213
00:09:43,384 --> 00:09:44,985
Okay?
214
00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:46,720
Come on, Sammy.
215
00:09:46,754 --> 00:09:47,955
Thanks for watching her.
216
00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:49,857
Yeah, sure.
217
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:53,961
Good for you.
218
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:58,399
(splashing)
219
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,401
I'd like to give you
my information
220
00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:03,404
so that if you want
to find me, you can.
221
00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:05,406
I work at Magic Alley Bar.
222
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,076
Is that a bar for magicians?
223
00:10:09,110 --> 00:10:10,911
No, it's, sometimes
there are magicians there
224
00:10:10,945 --> 00:10:12,379
but it's just a regular bar.
225
00:10:12,413 --> 00:10:13,981
It's not even that far
from here.
226
00:10:16,551 --> 00:10:19,019
Oh, I'm gonna check
roach man's schedule.
227
00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:19,920
He's a busy guy.
228
00:10:21,222 --> 00:10:23,124
Okay, I'm gonna put it
in your shoe.
229
00:10:25,426 --> 00:10:28,262
(water splashing)
230
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:34,635
- (soft jazz music)
- (people chattering)
231
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:43,077
I don't get people's taste
anymore.
232
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:44,378
People don't have taste anymore.
233
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:45,813
They are just horny.
234
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:49,283
Well that really depressing.
235
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:52,653
- Makes me wanna cry.
- (water spurting)
236
00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:53,921
(laughing)
237
00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,489
- It's good, right?
- Yeah.
238
00:10:55,524 --> 00:10:57,224
You know what else
makes me really sad?
239
00:10:57,258 --> 00:10:59,059
Well hello boys and girls.
240
00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:01,395
Don't you just love feathers
and bells?
241
00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:02,597
(Frankie sighs)
242
00:11:02,631 --> 00:11:03,430
(burps)
243
00:11:03,464 --> 00:11:04,265
I'm hungry.
244
00:11:04,298 --> 00:11:05,266
You little baby.
245
00:11:05,299 --> 00:11:06,500
She needs her milk.
246
00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:08,169
Nice, warm milk.
247
00:11:08,202 --> 00:11:10,437
- Goo goo goo goo goo.
- (clapping)
248
00:11:10,471 --> 00:11:11,640
Yes.
249
00:11:11,672 --> 00:11:14,008
Oh, wait, something smells.
250
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:15,442
That could be some gas.
251
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:18,647
- Burp, baby, burp.
- (people laughing)
252
00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:20,515
- Some gas.
- Stop!
253
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:21,415
Whoa!
254
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:22,651
What the?
255
00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:24,952
Stop, stop!
256
00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:26,153
Let me see this.
257
00:11:26,187 --> 00:11:27,421
I'm gonna get you out of here.
258
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:28,856
- Trust me.
- The gas man.
259
00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:31,859
Oh! Listen up,
you motherfudgers!
260
00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:33,194
(laughing)
261
00:11:33,227 --> 00:11:35,496
(laughs)
Whoa.
262
00:11:35,530 --> 00:11:37,599
This shit isn't funny.
263
00:11:37,632 --> 00:11:39,333
- Hey!
- This shit's just mean.
264
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,869
Yo, let the old lady
finish her act, you freak.
265
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,638
Oh, yo, you want to come up
266
00:11:43,672 --> 00:11:45,272
and suck on the bottle
while everybody laughs?
267
00:11:45,306 --> 00:11:48,108
Be my guest, you Nazi cracker!
268
00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:49,176
Nazi cra....
269
00:11:50,311 --> 00:11:52,980
Hey! Take your ass back
to the loony bin, why don't you?
270
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,115
- Yeah.
- Oh, this is so funny,
271
00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:57,117
- isn't it, Marty?
- (tense music)
272
00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:58,319
Fuck you!
273
00:11:58,352 --> 00:11:59,453
Oh, look, he knows how to run!
274
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,021
Fuck.
275
00:12:01,055 --> 00:12:05,759
- (tense, dramatic music)
- (laughing)
276
00:12:06,661 --> 00:12:10,397
- (clapping)
- (tense, dramatic music)
277
00:12:10,431 --> 00:12:12,534
That's Hollywood,
when even the bugs
278
00:12:12,567 --> 00:12:14,235
love the spotlight.
279
00:12:17,706 --> 00:12:18,806
- You okay?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
280
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:20,074
I got it. I got it.
281
00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:21,475
Okay, okay, okay.
282
00:12:21,509 --> 00:12:22,677
- You good?
- Hey, he's with me.
283
00:12:22,711 --> 00:12:23,877
He's with me. He's my friend.
284
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:24,679
- He's my friend.
- I'm good.
285
00:12:24,713 --> 00:12:25,547
Come on.
286
00:12:26,615 --> 00:12:27,781
Jesus Christ.
287
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:30,484
(Link laughing)
288
00:12:30,518 --> 00:12:32,253
Hey, hey, hey.
289
00:12:32,286 --> 00:12:33,387
- Hey.
- (Link laughing)
290
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,155
Thank you for the service.
291
00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:37,825
The first class service.
Thank you.
292
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:38,693
Oh my God.
293
00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:42,129
(Link laughs)
294
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:47,401
You do know that they pay me
to do that.
295
00:12:48,570 --> 00:12:49,403
Well...
296
00:12:52,574 --> 00:12:54,441
(sighs)
297
00:12:54,475 --> 00:12:55,543
Well, you didn't seem like
you were enjoying yourself.
298
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:59,480
(soft music)
299
00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:06,887
So is uh,
is that kinda your thing?
300
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,056
To dress up in animal costumes?
301
00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,257
Uh...
302
00:13:11,425 --> 00:13:12,259
Well, you know,
303
00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:17,231
if you're in a costume it's
easier to spot the other freaks.
304
00:13:21,636 --> 00:13:23,270
Can I film you?
305
00:13:23,304 --> 00:13:25,507
Uh, sure, weirdo.
306
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,076
Oh.
307
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,045
If you clean me up right here.
308
00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:34,582
(Frankie chuckles)
Okay.
309
00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:40,454
- Right here?
- Yeah.
310
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:45,492
- Okay.
- (soft synth music)
311
00:14:06,548 --> 00:14:10,585
Will you tell me
why you don't like cell phones?
312
00:14:10,618 --> 00:14:12,821
Will you tell me
why you don't smoke crack?
313
00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:17,291
This is why.
'Cause where are you?
314
00:14:18,192 --> 00:14:19,426
I'm right here.
315
00:14:19,460 --> 00:14:20,294
Nah, you gotta kick the habit.
316
00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:21,830
Hey. That's mine.
317
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,030
Hey, hey, hey.
Please give that back.
318
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:25,032
Hey.
319
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:27,468
(grunting)
320
00:14:27,502 --> 00:14:29,671
Oh! (chuckles)
321
00:14:29,704 --> 00:14:31,806
(grunts)
322
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,709
- Do you eat peanuts?
- What?
323
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:36,210
Can you eat peanuts?
324
00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:37,378
There's a lot of peanuts
in Thai food.
325
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:40,849
I'm gonna be at the Thai place
on Bronson tomorrow
326
00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:41,882
if you want to come.
327
00:14:42,717 --> 00:14:43,818
Noon.
328
00:14:43,852 --> 00:14:44,686
Okay.
329
00:14:45,553 --> 00:14:47,388
My name is Link, by the way.
330
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:50,891
Here comes your baby.
331
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:51,760
Wait.
332
00:14:52,660 --> 00:14:53,628
Fuck!
333
00:14:53,661 --> 00:14:54,629
Wow, she caught it.
334
00:14:54,662 --> 00:14:56,330
The crowd goes wild.
335
00:14:57,565 --> 00:14:58,399
Asshole.
336
00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,303
(people chattering)
337
00:15:03,337 --> 00:15:04,506
- (Frankie laughs)
- That's crazy.
338
00:15:04,539 --> 00:15:05,472
What the...
339
00:15:05,507 --> 00:15:06,508
Ooh.
340
00:15:06,541 --> 00:15:07,575
Wee-ooh.
341
00:15:07,609 --> 00:15:08,409
Ooh.
342
00:15:08,442 --> 00:15:09,276
Whoa, Whoa.
343
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:11,044
What the?
344
00:15:12,413 --> 00:15:13,914
Magic.
345
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:15,382
Wow.
346
00:15:15,416 --> 00:15:16,851
So, what,
do you come here often?
347
00:15:16,885 --> 00:15:18,218
No, please. Please talk to me.
348
00:15:18,252 --> 00:15:19,153
Talk to me. Talk to me.
349
00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:20,020
Please come back.
350
00:15:21,623 --> 00:15:23,090
Just for a little bit.
351
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,559
All right,
what do you wanna know?
352
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,530
Tell me about your parents.
353
00:15:28,563 --> 00:15:29,396
They're dead.
354
00:15:30,532 --> 00:15:31,331
Really?
355
00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:32,834
Yeah.
356
00:15:32,867 --> 00:15:33,735
I'm really sorry.
357
00:15:33,768 --> 00:15:34,636
It's all right.
358
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:36,905
It was a long time ago.
359
00:15:38,272 --> 00:15:39,072
(sighs)
360
00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:40,542
Measles.
361
00:15:40,575 --> 00:15:42,176
Measles?
362
00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:44,278
It was the Civil War,
so, you know.
363
00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:48,115
Did your parents really die
or are you...
364
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:49,383
Yeah.
365
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,753
Okay, so tell me this.
366
00:15:51,786 --> 00:15:53,555
How does that feel?
367
00:15:53,588 --> 00:15:55,122
Okay.
368
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:56,558
Yeah.
369
00:15:56,591 --> 00:15:58,660
(growls)
370
00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:04,298
Why don't you say something
really profound and moving,
371
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:05,733
just like that?
(snaps fingers)
372
00:16:05,767 --> 00:16:07,234
Come on, you can do it.
373
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:08,870
No, but seriously.
374
00:16:08,903 --> 00:16:10,672
What do you wanna do
with your life, Frankie?
375
00:16:13,741 --> 00:16:15,375
I don't know.
376
00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:17,144
Okay, well, if you did know,
what would it be?
377
00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:18,780
I don't know. I don't know
what I'm doing right now.
378
00:16:18,813 --> 00:16:22,282
I don't know what I want to do.
I don't know.
379
00:16:22,316 --> 00:16:24,117
You want to make art?
380
00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,553
Sure, I want to make art.
381
00:16:25,587 --> 00:16:26,987
Wow.
382
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:28,823
That's great.
383
00:16:28,857 --> 00:16:30,424
All right, well what kind
of stuff you want to make?
384
00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:32,560
I don't know.
385
00:16:32,594 --> 00:16:36,296
I want to make things that
make other people feel things.
386
00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:39,834
All right.
Tell me about that scar.
387
00:16:41,703 --> 00:16:44,137
(soft music)
388
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:45,874
Why'd you do that?
389
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,843
It's beautiful.
It's a part of you.
390
00:16:48,877 --> 00:16:50,678
All right.
The intimacy levels are too high.
391
00:16:50,712 --> 00:16:51,546
Abort mission.
392
00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:54,616
(Frankie laughs)
393
00:16:54,649 --> 00:16:56,183
Did you even watch
the video I posted?
394
00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:57,752
No.
395
00:16:57,785 --> 00:16:59,988
People really responded to it.
To you.
396
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:02,924
You don't even know
how hard it is
397
00:17:02,957 --> 00:17:04,458
to get views on the internet.
398
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:07,829
Will you just look
at the comments?
399
00:17:14,368 --> 00:17:16,838
"The only thing in doubt
about your speech
400
00:17:16,871 --> 00:17:19,039
is whether it makes me
want to puke
401
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:21,141
or kill myself and then puke."
402
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:22,644
That's...
403
00:17:22,677 --> 00:17:24,211
They signed it
sincerely everyone.
404
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:25,880
That's so sweet.
405
00:17:25,914 --> 00:17:27,515
Thank you for showing me that.
406
00:17:27,549 --> 00:17:28,950
There are more positive ones
than nasty ones.
407
00:17:28,983 --> 00:17:30,018
All right,
so what do you wanna do?
408
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,251
Do you want to make art,
409
00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:35,422
or do you want to chase affirmation
from faceless strangers?
410
00:17:43,998 --> 00:17:45,533
Both.
411
00:17:45,567 --> 00:17:46,701
Get out of my house.
412
00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:49,737
I'm moving in.
413
00:17:49,771 --> 00:17:51,706
There's not enough space
for two.
414
00:17:51,739 --> 00:17:52,574
See.
415
00:17:53,841 --> 00:17:55,242
- It's super cramped.
- (Frankie laughs)
416
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,578
It actually kind of works.
417
00:17:58,046 --> 00:18:00,414
(soft music)
418
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:06,453
- (soft piano music)
- ♪ Shriek like moaning lovers ♪
419
00:18:06,955 --> 00:18:10,457
♪ All the love is flowing ♪
420
00:18:11,626 --> 00:18:12,894
(thuds)
421
00:18:12,927 --> 00:18:14,428
And you better be better
tonight.
422
00:18:16,564 --> 00:18:20,001
♪ All the love is flowing
from my heart ♪
423
00:18:20,034 --> 00:18:22,570
(phone buzzes)
424
00:18:23,638 --> 00:18:28,610
- (people chattering)
- (soft piano music)
425
00:18:31,445 --> 00:18:35,382
♪ Flowing from my heart ♪
426
00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:40,088
♪ All the love is flowing
from my heart ♪
427
00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:46,995
- (soft piano music)
- (people chattering)
428
00:19:01,609 --> 00:19:02,777
Psst.
429
00:19:08,750 --> 00:19:09,784
What are you doing?
430
00:19:11,519 --> 00:19:12,720
Trying to keep a low profile.
431
00:19:12,754 --> 00:19:14,388
They don't much like me here.
432
00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:15,590
Remember?
433
00:19:15,623 --> 00:19:16,524
You got a phone?
434
00:19:19,761 --> 00:19:21,395
I thought phones
were crack cocaine.
435
00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:23,831
Well, to defeat the beast,
first you gotta
436
00:19:23,865 --> 00:19:24,732
get inside its belly.
437
00:19:24,766 --> 00:19:25,600
Look...
438
00:19:27,635 --> 00:19:29,202
I'm gonna cut to the chase, kid.
439
00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:32,607
I think you got potential.
440
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:33,641
I wanna make your next picture.
441
00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:37,111
- Really?
- Yeah.
442
00:19:39,947 --> 00:19:41,015
What? Now?
443
00:19:41,049 --> 00:19:41,683
Yeah, right now, let's go.
444
00:19:41,716 --> 00:19:42,917
No.
445
00:19:42,950 --> 00:19:43,918
I'm in the middle of my shift.
446
00:19:43,951 --> 00:19:45,019
Eh, fuck your shift.
447
00:19:45,053 --> 00:19:45,920
(Frankie laughs)
448
00:19:45,953 --> 00:19:47,254
Come on.
449
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:48,756
Not everyone can fuck the shift.
450
00:19:48,790 --> 00:19:50,658
Some people have
to go to their shifts.
451
00:19:50,692 --> 00:19:52,660
Some people.
You want to be those some people?
452
00:19:52,694 --> 00:19:53,761
No.
453
00:19:53,795 --> 00:19:55,228
You wanna be what then?
454
00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,099
The other kind of person.
455
00:19:58,132 --> 00:19:59,734
So show me. Fuck the shift.
456
00:20:00,702 --> 00:20:01,869
Fuck the shift.
457
00:20:01,903 --> 00:20:02,704
Fuck the shift.
458
00:20:02,737 --> 00:20:03,705
Fuck this place.
459
00:20:03,738 --> 00:20:05,305
Fuck this place.
460
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:06,874
Fuck dressing up
in a fucking baby costume.
461
00:20:06,908 --> 00:20:08,109
Yeah, yeah.
462
00:20:08,142 --> 00:20:08,943
Fuck people who shit in sinks.
463
00:20:08,976 --> 00:20:10,044
Fuck people who-
464
00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:11,278
- Wait, wh...
- Yeah.
465
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,380
Fuck my boss, fuck my uniform.
466
00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:14,414
Okay, let's go.
467
00:20:16,517 --> 00:20:18,052
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
468
00:20:18,086 --> 00:20:19,554
Whoa, where's your car?
469
00:20:19,587 --> 00:20:20,521
I sold it.
470
00:20:20,555 --> 00:20:21,354
I had to pay rent.
471
00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:22,222
Are you serious?
472
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:24,357
Mhm. Let's go.
473
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:26,194
Uh...
474
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:28,896
(Link groaning)
475
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:33,500
Three, two, one, blast off.
476
00:20:33,534 --> 00:20:36,003
Whoa, watch the pole,
watch the pole.
477
00:20:36,037 --> 00:20:37,739
On to the new world!
478
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:42,510
(upbeat synth pop music)
479
00:20:42,543 --> 00:20:43,678
What if I covered your eyes?
480
00:20:43,711 --> 00:20:44,746
I'd be like don't cover my eyes.
481
00:20:44,779 --> 00:20:46,379
No, no, no, no, no, no.
482
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:50,283
(soft synth music)
483
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,589
(Link grunts)
484
00:20:54,622 --> 00:20:55,455
What have I done?
485
00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:02,262
You did an amazing thing.
(chuckles)
486
00:21:02,295 --> 00:21:04,665
I walked out on my job.
487
00:21:04,699 --> 00:21:08,536
I have no money
and no idea how to get any.
488
00:21:10,571 --> 00:21:11,773
This is the beginning.
489
00:21:12,707 --> 00:21:14,041
Of unemployment.
490
00:21:14,075 --> 00:21:15,275
No.
491
00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:18,179
Well, yeah, but of everything.
492
00:21:18,212 --> 00:21:20,081
Now you could just
concentrate on your art.
493
00:21:20,114 --> 00:21:21,082
Mhm.
494
00:21:21,115 --> 00:21:22,315
That's a great idea.
495
00:21:23,785 --> 00:21:25,219
What are you doing?
496
00:21:25,253 --> 00:21:27,054
- (Link grumbling)
- (breathing heavily)
497
00:21:27,088 --> 00:21:27,989
I'm uncomfortable.
498
00:21:29,791 --> 00:21:30,691
(Link grunts)
499
00:21:30,725 --> 00:21:31,559
Get out.
500
00:21:33,094 --> 00:21:34,494
We gotta cast demons out.
501
00:21:35,563 --> 00:21:36,864
- Gotta get the demons out.
- No, no, no, no.
502
00:21:36,898 --> 00:21:38,298
That's dumb.
503
00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:39,534
- No demons.
- Yeah, no, it's dumb.
504
00:21:39,567 --> 00:21:40,935
You gotta be dumb to be smart.
505
00:21:40,968 --> 00:21:42,103
(laughs)
506
00:21:42,136 --> 00:21:43,104
No, no, no, no, no.
507
00:21:43,137 --> 00:21:44,105
This is dumb.
508
00:21:44,138 --> 00:21:45,640
We have to cast 'em out.
509
00:21:45,673 --> 00:21:47,141
- We gotta cast 'em out.
- What are you-
510
00:21:47,175 --> 00:21:48,543
Cast out the demons.
511
00:21:48,576 --> 00:21:50,978
Come on,
I don't wanna dance alone.
512
00:21:51,012 --> 00:21:55,283
- Come on, dance with me.
- ♪ Come on and be with me ♪
513
00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:58,920
♪ Let it be ♪
514
00:21:58,953 --> 00:22:02,723
♪ My love keeps growing on ♪
515
00:22:02,757 --> 00:22:06,594
♪ So come on, lead ♪
516
00:22:06,627 --> 00:22:10,565
♪ Been cookin' myself for you ♪
517
00:22:10,598 --> 00:22:15,169
♪ You mean that much to me ♪
518
00:22:15,203 --> 00:22:19,907
♪ For the rest,
rest of my life ♪
519
00:22:19,941 --> 00:22:22,977
(upbeat disco music)
520
00:22:27,648 --> 00:22:29,116
Oh, you didn't have to move.
521
00:22:29,150 --> 00:22:30,184
I just put it
right in your pocket.
522
00:22:30,218 --> 00:22:31,519
Okay fine, I won't move.
523
00:22:31,552 --> 00:22:35,156
No. (laughing)
524
00:22:35,189 --> 00:22:38,292
(upbeat disco music)
525
00:22:39,861 --> 00:22:42,630
♪ See your lovin', babe ♪
526
00:22:42,663 --> 00:22:43,664
- Okay, you're a ninja.
- Mhm.
527
00:22:43,698 --> 00:22:45,099
I'm a ninja.
528
00:22:45,132 --> 00:22:47,101
You give one attack
and one retreat.
529
00:22:47,134 --> 00:22:48,536
Quick, south paw.
530
00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:52,039
(Frankie yells)
531
00:22:52,907 --> 00:22:55,076
(howling)
532
00:22:56,043 --> 00:23:00,848
♪ Love you, love you ♪
533
00:23:00,882 --> 00:23:02,984
♪ Love you, baby, all night ♪
534
00:23:03,017 --> 00:23:05,219
I think my mom thinks
I'm a fuck up.
535
00:23:11,092 --> 00:23:12,193
You are a fuck up.
536
00:23:14,996 --> 00:23:16,097
She's a fuck up.
537
00:23:17,430 --> 00:23:18,398
I'm a fuck up.
538
00:23:22,570 --> 00:23:23,905
Everybody's a fuck up right now.
539
00:23:23,938 --> 00:23:26,140
That's just the setup.
540
00:23:26,173 --> 00:23:28,776
No one feels like
they belong, you know?
541
00:23:30,278 --> 00:23:31,879
People just exploding.
542
00:23:34,248 --> 00:23:36,717
You know, there are
people out there right now
543
00:23:36,751 --> 00:23:38,686
who don't identify as human.
544
00:23:38,719 --> 00:23:43,391
They think they're animals
trapped in the wrong body,
545
00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:45,159
and they're driving
corporations nuts
546
00:23:45,192 --> 00:23:47,395
because of how do you
market sneakers to someone
547
00:23:47,427 --> 00:23:48,562
who thinks he's a cat?
548
00:23:52,366 --> 00:23:53,433
What?
549
00:23:53,466 --> 00:23:54,302
That's it.
550
00:23:55,369 --> 00:23:56,570
What did I say?
551
00:23:56,604 --> 00:23:58,940
Exactly. You have to say stuff.
552
00:23:58,973 --> 00:24:00,508
Like the animal stuff?
What are you talking about?
553
00:24:00,541 --> 00:24:01,876
No.
554
00:24:01,909 --> 00:24:03,344
Um...
555
00:24:03,377 --> 00:24:04,211
Ah...
556
00:24:05,713 --> 00:24:06,547
Okay.
557
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:13,921
That's what people
are responding to,
558
00:24:13,955 --> 00:24:15,690
is you saying stuff,
so all I have to do
559
00:24:15,723 --> 00:24:17,425
is figure out
how to capture you saying stuff
560
00:24:17,457 --> 00:24:20,328
without it just being you
saying stuff.
561
00:24:26,934 --> 00:24:28,235
Bud, you're putting me
as such a bad pos...
562
00:24:28,269 --> 00:24:29,469
I've seen a lot of fake IDs.
563
00:24:29,503 --> 00:24:30,905
This is so terrible.
564
00:24:30,938 --> 00:24:32,940
This is such a terrible idea.
565
00:24:32,974 --> 00:24:35,576
Like the sticker's coming off.
Do better.
566
00:24:35,609 --> 00:24:36,644
Just go get drunk.
567
00:24:37,511 --> 00:24:38,512
Don't get too drunk.
568
00:24:47,254 --> 00:24:48,055
Psst.
569
00:24:48,089 --> 00:24:50,091
(gasps)
570
00:24:51,592 --> 00:24:52,526
What's up?
571
00:24:53,493 --> 00:24:55,463
We're starting a band.
572
00:24:55,495 --> 00:24:56,797
Are, are you guys high?
573
00:24:57,765 --> 00:24:59,667
We need a writer. We suck.
574
00:24:59,700 --> 00:25:01,235
Are you in?
575
00:25:01,268 --> 00:25:02,770
You need a writer? For what?
576
00:25:04,839 --> 00:25:05,940
A secret project.
577
00:25:08,209 --> 00:25:09,243
(upbeat percussive music)
578
00:25:09,276 --> 00:25:10,277
Oh shit, mom, I gotta go.
579
00:25:10,311 --> 00:25:11,145
Yo, yo, what's up?
580
00:25:11,178 --> 00:25:12,947
Yo, what's up?
581
00:25:12,980 --> 00:25:14,348
Thanks for tuning in
and checking out this video.
582
00:25:14,382 --> 00:25:15,416
Checking out this video.
583
00:25:15,449 --> 00:25:17,518
Rock effect.
584
00:25:17,551 --> 00:25:19,954
My motherfucking life and all
the dope ass shit around me.
585
00:25:19,987 --> 00:25:21,956
Parents use YouTube
as a babysitter.
586
00:25:21,989 --> 00:25:24,191
Like my little niece
who's seven years old,
587
00:25:24,225 --> 00:25:26,694
she worships these guys
who do and say nothing
588
00:25:26,727 --> 00:25:28,796
and promote a lifestyle
of doing and saying nothing.
589
00:25:28,829 --> 00:25:30,031
I don't even need this phone.
590
00:25:30,064 --> 00:25:31,298
(girls scream)
591
00:25:31,332 --> 00:25:32,299
Is it okay?
592
00:25:32,333 --> 00:25:33,300
All right. (laughs)
593
00:25:33,334 --> 00:25:34,869
I need it. (laughs)
594
00:25:34,902 --> 00:25:36,637
They're sucked in
and they're like watching
595
00:25:36,670 --> 00:25:38,139
the same kind of videos
that they're always watching
596
00:25:38,172 --> 00:25:39,373
and at the end, boom,
it's a satire.
597
00:25:39,407 --> 00:25:41,275
Yo, why is my existence so lit?
598
00:25:41,308 --> 00:25:42,877
Why is my life so lit?
599
00:25:42,910 --> 00:25:44,812
Let's start with
this eagle's nest behind me.
600
00:25:44,845 --> 00:25:46,147
I know how to shoot it, too.
601
00:25:47,915 --> 00:25:49,717
You gotta see this.
602
00:25:49,750 --> 00:25:51,719
Yo, eight million big ones,
eight million big ones.
603
00:25:51,752 --> 00:25:53,454
We've got to do
everything we can
604
00:25:53,487 --> 00:25:54,855
to make our thing look
as crappy as their thing.
605
00:25:54,889 --> 00:25:55,956
That's brilliant.
606
00:25:55,990 --> 00:25:57,625
All right. Let's do it.
607
00:25:57,658 --> 00:26:00,661
Seven bedrooms
and dos Mother Hubbard piscinas.
608
00:26:01,595 --> 00:26:03,197
Is that right? Is that Spanish?
609
00:26:03,230 --> 00:26:05,166
Think that's Italian.
610
00:26:05,199 --> 00:26:07,134
Regulation height
for a hoop is like 10 feet.
611
00:26:07,168 --> 00:26:08,736
I keep mine at seven.
You know why?
612
00:26:08,769 --> 00:26:10,004
I got a small penis.
613
00:26:10,037 --> 00:26:11,705
Hashtag be yourself.
614
00:26:11,739 --> 00:26:13,674
That's my message
to the world is be yourself.
615
00:26:13,707 --> 00:26:15,409
That's what I do
and look what I got.
616
00:26:15,443 --> 00:26:17,512
Hashtag swimming pool,
hashtag cocktail,
617
00:26:17,546 --> 00:26:19,046
hashtag this pineapple life.
618
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:20,981
Yo, it's so important
to be yourself,
619
00:26:21,015 --> 00:26:22,416
but only your best parts only,
only your pretty parts.
620
00:26:22,450 --> 00:26:23,717
Not that weak shit.
621
00:26:23,751 --> 00:26:25,086
Yo, is that right? Is that...
622
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:26,420
That's the message, right?
623
00:26:28,222 --> 00:26:30,157
(splashing)
624
00:26:30,191 --> 00:26:32,193
When I see other celebrities
like on the 'gram and shit,
625
00:26:32,226 --> 00:26:33,761
I feel kind of bad about
myself, so I buy more stuff.
626
00:26:33,794 --> 00:26:35,496
Hashtag when, hashtag why,
hashtag wow.
627
00:26:35,530 --> 00:26:36,864
Which is great,
'cause then I just end up
628
00:26:36,897 --> 00:26:39,333
with so much, you know, stuff.
629
00:26:39,366 --> 00:26:41,368
Stuff makes me feel like,
630
00:26:41,402 --> 00:26:43,938
like less than empty inside,
you know?
631
00:26:43,971 --> 00:26:45,606
Hashtag when is it too much?
632
00:26:45,639 --> 00:26:47,408
Hashtag when is it all
going to stop?
633
00:26:47,441 --> 00:26:48,776
- Hey you!
- (gun cocks)
634
00:26:48,809 --> 00:26:50,177
- Shit!
- Get off my property!
635
00:26:50,211 --> 00:26:51,378
- We got the wrong house!
- (gunshot)
636
00:26:51,412 --> 00:26:52,413
- Sorry!
- Get outta here!
637
00:26:52,446 --> 00:26:54,516
I got, I got confused!
638
00:26:54,549 --> 00:26:55,550
I got confused!
639
00:26:55,584 --> 00:26:57,618
(laughing)
640
00:26:57,651 --> 00:26:59,386
- Come on, come on, come on!
- Fuck!
641
00:26:59,420 --> 00:27:00,387
Jesus.
642
00:27:00,421 --> 00:27:01,556
All right, where are we?
643
00:27:02,957 --> 00:27:05,826
Oh my god,
I'm spiraling right now.
644
00:27:08,162 --> 00:27:09,363
I've been getting it all wrong.
645
00:27:09,396 --> 00:27:11,298
I've been poisoning y'all.
646
00:27:11,332 --> 00:27:12,366
You can't be following me.
647
00:27:12,399 --> 00:27:13,568
I don't...
648
00:27:13,602 --> 00:27:14,902
I ain't nothin'. I ain't nobody.
649
00:27:14,935 --> 00:27:16,237
I'm no one.
650
00:27:16,270 --> 00:27:18,405
Like I'm no one special, man.
651
00:27:18,439 --> 00:27:20,407
We gotta wake ourselves up.
652
00:27:20,441 --> 00:27:22,309
Oh, it feels so good to be free.
653
00:27:25,112 --> 00:27:27,414
I'm reborn, man, I'm reborn.
654
00:27:28,749 --> 00:27:29,618
Can you relate?
655
00:27:30,619 --> 00:27:32,253
Someone stole my pants.
656
00:27:32,286 --> 00:27:33,120
Woo!
657
00:27:34,488 --> 00:27:36,790
We're going back to nature,
baby.
658
00:27:36,824 --> 00:27:38,259
Yo, you don't need
any of that shit.
659
00:27:38,292 --> 00:27:39,561
You don't need any of that shit.
660
00:27:39,594 --> 00:27:40,629
Can I get an amen?
661
00:27:40,661 --> 00:27:42,129
Can I get an amen baby?
662
00:27:42,163 --> 00:27:43,397
Who's with me?
663
00:27:43,430 --> 00:27:44,665
Y'all feelin' me?
664
00:27:44,698 --> 00:27:45,799
Can you relate?
665
00:27:45,833 --> 00:27:46,834
Can you relate?
666
00:27:46,867 --> 00:27:49,103
Yeah! You can relate!
667
00:27:49,136 --> 00:27:50,304
You're feelin' me!
668
00:27:50,337 --> 00:27:51,606
- Woo!
- What the hell?
669
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:52,641
Hey!
670
00:27:52,673 --> 00:27:53,841
Man, got any spare pants?
671
00:27:53,874 --> 00:27:55,242
Hey. Hey man, hey.
672
00:27:55,276 --> 00:27:56,578
Oh what's up, baby?
673
00:27:56,611 --> 00:27:57,845
- What's up?
- Face that way.
674
00:27:57,878 --> 00:27:59,648
- Hey, I know you!
- Face that wall.
675
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:01,248
I know you.
676
00:28:01,282 --> 00:28:02,517
I just woke up in my soul,
in my heart.
677
00:28:03,450 --> 00:28:04,586
You feelin' me baby?
678
00:28:04,619 --> 00:28:06,987
I know you feelin' me baby, yes.
679
00:28:07,021 --> 00:28:08,322
Can I get an amen?
680
00:28:08,355 --> 00:28:09,924
Where am I?
681
00:28:09,957 --> 00:28:11,158
Where am I?
682
00:28:11,192 --> 00:28:13,662
Oh, I love this town.
683
00:28:13,694 --> 00:28:16,297
I love you. I love you so much.
684
00:28:17,331 --> 00:28:18,499
Holy shit.
685
00:28:18,533 --> 00:28:20,669
Holy shit. You gotta see this.
686
00:28:20,701 --> 00:28:21,702
Whoa.
687
00:28:21,735 --> 00:28:23,204
Look at all the comments.
688
00:28:23,237 --> 00:28:24,872
"I want this guy
to run me over in a truck
689
00:28:24,905 --> 00:28:26,273
and then reverse
over my dead body."
690
00:28:26,307 --> 00:28:27,107
That's interesting.
691
00:28:27,141 --> 00:28:28,309
Oh my God.
692
00:28:28,342 --> 00:28:30,110
Juanpa just sent me a selfie.
693
00:28:30,144 --> 00:28:31,312
He wants to do an interview
with you.
694
00:28:31,345 --> 00:28:32,681
Juanpa's huge.
695
00:28:32,713 --> 00:28:34,014
Juanpa's huge.
696
00:28:34,048 --> 00:28:35,216
I don't,
I don't know who that is.
697
00:28:35,249 --> 00:28:36,884
Guys, guys, look at the views.
698
00:28:40,254 --> 00:28:42,423
(screams)
699
00:28:43,424 --> 00:28:47,928
(Juanpa speaking
in foreign language)
700
00:28:51,232 --> 00:28:54,835
We are officially live,
ladies and gentlemen.
701
00:28:54,868 --> 00:28:56,036
Welcome.
702
00:28:56,070 --> 00:28:57,505
This is a very special episode
703
00:28:57,539 --> 00:28:59,306
because we got
a very rare guest.
704
00:28:59,340 --> 00:29:02,309
Please give it up
for No One Special.
705
00:29:02,343 --> 00:29:04,078
- (clapping)
- Woo hoo hoo!
706
00:29:04,111 --> 00:29:06,013
And by the way, I'm not
being a terrible friend here.
707
00:29:06,046 --> 00:29:07,582
That's how you call yourself,
right?
708
00:29:07,616 --> 00:29:09,651
That's my name.
It's my given name.
709
00:29:09,684 --> 00:29:10,818
- No.
- At birth, yeah.
710
00:29:10,851 --> 00:29:11,885
No One Special.
711
00:29:11,919 --> 00:29:13,354
Wow.
712
00:29:13,387 --> 00:29:14,922
No one is like one word
and then special.
713
00:29:14,955 --> 00:29:16,423
Like we're all kind of
no one special.
714
00:29:16,457 --> 00:29:17,258
That's just kind of the idea,
right?
715
00:29:17,291 --> 00:29:18,693
Yeah.
716
00:29:18,727 --> 00:29:20,160
We're all the same.
We're all equal.
717
00:29:20,194 --> 00:29:21,362
Okay. Okay,
let's try this again.
718
00:29:21,395 --> 00:29:22,930
- When I clap...
- Yeah.
719
00:29:22,963 --> 00:29:26,000
You, you like jump
and fall into frame.
720
00:29:26,033 --> 00:29:27,768
All right.
721
00:29:27,801 --> 00:29:28,769
So I'll clap and I'll stop
and then you jump in.
722
00:29:28,802 --> 00:29:29,770
All right. Let's try it.
723
00:29:29,803 --> 00:29:30,739
- Okay?
- Yep.
724
00:29:30,771 --> 00:29:31,706
Here it is.
725
00:29:31,740 --> 00:29:32,773
No One Special!
726
00:29:33,941 --> 00:29:36,277
Oh my God!
727
00:29:36,310 --> 00:29:38,580
I've never seen Juanpa
this happy before.
728
00:29:38,613 --> 00:29:39,780
A couple of questions for you.
729
00:29:39,813 --> 00:29:40,615
Go on.
730
00:29:40,649 --> 00:29:41,849
Uh...
731
00:29:41,882 --> 00:29:42,550
Can I just do this real quick?
732
00:29:42,584 --> 00:29:43,752
Yeah.
733
00:29:43,784 --> 00:29:44,952
Sorry, I've been wanting like,
734
00:29:44,985 --> 00:29:46,420
since I like laid eyes on you,
735
00:29:46,453 --> 00:29:47,388
I've just been wanting
to like...
736
00:29:47,421 --> 00:29:48,122
His name is Isaac.
737
00:29:48,155 --> 00:29:48,956
Oh wow.
738
00:29:48,989 --> 00:29:50,692
Pretty deep.
739
00:29:50,725 --> 00:29:52,293
Pretty deep first moments
with No One Special.
740
00:29:52,326 --> 00:29:53,961
I just feel like
we need experience other...
741
00:29:53,994 --> 00:29:55,429
All right, all right,
do we first bump now?
742
00:29:55,462 --> 00:29:56,930
No, I just hump you
with my beard.
743
00:29:56,964 --> 00:29:57,965
Can we just fist bump?
(Link laughs)
744
00:29:57,998 --> 00:29:59,900
Okay, anyways. Boom, bam.
745
00:29:59,933 --> 00:30:01,902
Your boyfriend's fine.
746
00:30:01,935 --> 00:30:03,404
- He's not my boyfriend.
- He's not my boyfriend.
747
00:30:03,437 --> 00:30:05,406
I uh, I represent Juanpa.
748
00:30:05,439 --> 00:30:08,208
So what's what's the next thing
for No One Special?
749
00:30:08,242 --> 00:30:09,276
What's the next thing
for No One...
750
00:30:09,310 --> 00:30:10,745
I don't know.
751
00:30:10,779 --> 00:30:11,780
- I'm just here with Juanpa.
- Yeah?
752
00:30:11,812 --> 00:30:13,147
Here with my hero Juanpa.
753
00:30:13,180 --> 00:30:14,415
Eh ah, I'm not your hero,
come on.
754
00:30:14,448 --> 00:30:16,250
You guys need anything,
755
00:30:16,283 --> 00:30:17,251
I want you to...
756
00:30:17,284 --> 00:30:19,920
(wrappers crinkling)
757
00:30:19,953 --> 00:30:24,958
- Give me a call.
- (upbeat synth pop music)
758
00:30:25,459 --> 00:30:27,328
Hey, just take a photo of it.
759
00:30:27,361 --> 00:30:29,229
Yeah, I got it.
760
00:30:29,263 --> 00:30:30,331
I'm Mark Schwartz.
761
00:30:31,599 --> 00:30:33,300
- I'm the guy behind the guy.
- I got a idea, yeah.
762
00:30:33,334 --> 00:30:35,603
I want to invite these guys
to join us on something.
763
00:30:35,637 --> 00:30:37,237
- You want to go with me?
- Bring it.
764
00:30:37,271 --> 00:30:38,773
Me and Juanpa
have an invitation for you.
765
00:30:38,807 --> 00:30:40,608
We want you to join us
tomorrow night
766
00:30:40,642 --> 00:30:43,678
at Four Stone Cemetery
or go to any graveyard near you,
767
00:30:43,712 --> 00:30:45,179
and we,
we're gonna have a party.
768
00:30:45,212 --> 00:30:46,815
You're gonna bring
your cell phones,
769
00:30:46,847 --> 00:30:48,449
but then you're going to
place it on a grave,
770
00:30:48,482 --> 00:30:50,117
you're going to turn
the screen to white,
771
00:30:50,150 --> 00:30:51,586
and together
for one night only we're going
772
00:30:51,619 --> 00:30:53,087
to experience
something real together.
773
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:54,455
We are going to ghost
the internet.
774
00:30:54,488 --> 00:30:56,890
You, me...
775
00:30:58,325 --> 00:31:00,194
And Juanpa.
776
00:31:00,227 --> 00:31:01,696
Would you rather have everything
and understand nothing
777
00:31:01,730 --> 00:31:04,198
or understand everything
and have nothing?
778
00:31:04,231 --> 00:31:05,800
Um, have everything.
779
00:31:05,834 --> 00:31:07,334
Yeah, you'd understand nothing,
though.
780
00:31:07,368 --> 00:31:08,603
(laughing)
Yeah.
781
00:31:08,636 --> 00:31:09,771
That's the premise of the joke.
782
00:31:09,804 --> 00:31:11,706
- That's hard.
- But no,
783
00:31:11,740 --> 00:31:13,608
I would just eat donuts and
ride around in a baby carriage
784
00:31:13,641 --> 00:31:16,009
with a chauffeur and I would
buy sunglasses all day.
785
00:31:16,043 --> 00:31:17,144
Yes, I'd wear a muumuu.
786
00:31:17,177 --> 00:31:18,379
I would wear no underwear.
787
00:31:18,412 --> 00:31:20,114
Do another one. Do another one.
788
00:31:20,147 --> 00:31:21,315
Uh, would you rather
have permanent diarrhea
789
00:31:21,348 --> 00:31:22,550
or have penises for fingers?
790
00:31:22,584 --> 00:31:23,785
You'd have penises for fingers.
791
00:31:23,818 --> 00:31:25,319
Penis for fingers, obviously.
792
00:31:25,352 --> 00:31:27,020
Yeah, because like,
it'd be like this.
793
00:31:27,054 --> 00:31:28,523
Hey, nice to meet you.
794
00:31:28,556 --> 00:31:29,923
And then just like whoa.
795
00:31:30,825 --> 00:31:32,660
Everyone would know
how you felt all the time.
796
00:31:32,694 --> 00:31:34,395
- (laughing)
- Yeah.
797
00:31:34,428 --> 00:31:35,496
That's the only danger
'cause it's like people
798
00:31:35,530 --> 00:31:36,497
will get uncomfortable.
799
00:31:36,531 --> 00:31:39,199
Don't tread on that.
800
00:31:39,233 --> 00:31:40,501
- Okay.
- You can walk over it.
801
00:31:40,535 --> 00:31:42,670
(laughing)
802
00:31:42,704 --> 00:31:43,805
(people chattering)
803
00:31:43,838 --> 00:31:45,305
Whoa.
804
00:31:45,339 --> 00:31:46,541
Whoa.
805
00:31:46,574 --> 00:31:47,441
Holy shit.
806
00:31:48,442 --> 00:31:51,211
(people chattering)
807
00:31:51,245 --> 00:31:53,815
- People came.
- (Link sighs)
808
00:31:53,848 --> 00:31:58,051
♪ No one wants to be
the odd one out at times ♪
809
00:31:58,085 --> 00:31:59,521
♪ No one wants to be the
810
00:31:59,554 --> 00:32:01,288
All right. Let's go say hi.
811
00:32:02,456 --> 00:32:03,558
(Jake chuckles)
812
00:32:03,591 --> 00:32:04,391
Yeah.
813
00:32:04,425 --> 00:32:05,259
Do, um...
814
00:32:07,595 --> 00:32:09,229
Is that No One Special?
815
00:32:09,263 --> 00:32:12,065
Hey, it's No One Special.
816
00:32:12,099 --> 00:32:13,701
- You're even bigger in person.
- Hi.
817
00:32:13,735 --> 00:32:15,202
Hi, how are you?
818
00:32:15,235 --> 00:32:17,337
Guys, what the hell?
819
00:32:17,371 --> 00:32:19,039
(people cheering)
820
00:32:19,072 --> 00:32:20,842
We didn't expect anybody
to come.
821
00:32:20,875 --> 00:32:23,243
- Yo, yo, yo!
- (people cheering)
822
00:32:23,277 --> 00:32:24,779
This is crazy, this is crazy.
823
00:32:24,813 --> 00:32:26,681
Yo, yo, don't wake the dead.
824
00:32:26,714 --> 00:32:28,248
So seriously,
anybody who's still got a cellphone,
825
00:32:28,282 --> 00:32:30,217
put 'em on a grave
and let 'em light up
826
00:32:30,250 --> 00:32:32,554
like fireflies
all through the night.
827
00:32:32,587 --> 00:32:33,588
(people cheering)
828
00:32:33,621 --> 00:32:35,757
And then we'll just hang!
829
00:32:35,790 --> 00:32:37,224
Hey, this is all that matters
830
00:32:37,257 --> 00:32:39,259
- is that we're all here.
- (cheering)
831
00:32:39,293 --> 00:32:40,862
Oh my god.
832
00:32:40,895 --> 00:32:41,962
It's crazy how good
at this he is, huh?
833
00:32:43,330 --> 00:32:48,335
- (people chattering)
- (soft piano music)
834
00:32:55,108 --> 00:32:56,811
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no
835
00:32:56,845 --> 00:32:59,781
no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no selfies.
836
00:32:59,814 --> 00:33:01,482
Tonight this is just about us
hanging out together.
837
00:33:01,516 --> 00:33:03,250
All of us together.
How about a hug?
838
00:33:03,283 --> 00:33:05,319
Give you a hug?
Yeah, I'll give you a hug.
839
00:33:05,352 --> 00:33:07,321
Put 'em on a gravestone,
set the screen to white.
840
00:33:07,354 --> 00:33:09,056
Let the battery die out
like we said, okay?
841
00:33:09,089 --> 00:33:11,726
Get rid of them phones man.
842
00:33:11,759 --> 00:33:13,060
- (man mumbles)
- Whoa, bud.
843
00:33:13,093 --> 00:33:14,294
Yo, who's got a drink?
844
00:33:15,329 --> 00:33:16,798
(laughing)
845
00:33:16,831 --> 00:33:17,998
All right, that's good.
846
00:33:18,031 --> 00:33:19,032
Who's got something to smoke?
847
00:33:20,969 --> 00:33:25,974
- (people chattering)
- (soft piano music)
848
00:33:28,275 --> 00:33:30,244
Cheers, dad. I liked this one.
849
00:33:30,277 --> 00:33:31,546
Peach apple iced tea.
850
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:38,285
- (soft piano music)
- (people chattering)
851
00:33:43,658 --> 00:33:45,292
Hello, this is Mark Schwartz.
852
00:33:45,325 --> 00:33:46,861
I hear things are really
going great down there
853
00:33:46,895 --> 00:33:49,797
at the cemetery,
which I don't often say.
854
00:33:49,831 --> 00:33:52,634
Why don't we meet at my office
Monday morning, 10:00 AM?
855
00:33:54,903 --> 00:33:56,336
Who wants that?
856
00:33:57,237 --> 00:34:02,242
- (people chattering)
- (soft piano music)
857
00:34:02,977 --> 00:34:05,680
Be right back. (grunts)
858
00:34:07,314 --> 00:34:12,319
- (people chattering)
- (soft music)
859
00:34:13,688 --> 00:34:16,189
(tense music)
860
00:34:21,896 --> 00:34:24,164
You're my little brother,
I love you.
861
00:34:24,197 --> 00:34:26,668
- Yeah, yeah.
- I just wanna talk to you.
862
00:34:26,701 --> 00:34:30,838
It's not a fuckin' ruse.
It's not a fuckin' ruse.
863
00:34:30,872 --> 00:34:32,507
Bullshit.
864
00:34:32,540 --> 00:34:34,174
What the fuck?
Where are you fucking going?
865
00:34:34,207 --> 00:34:35,043
Hey!
866
00:34:36,243 --> 00:34:38,580
Where are you fucking going?
867
00:34:41,281 --> 00:34:44,052
(birds chirping)
868
00:35:13,881 --> 00:35:17,885
(car puttering in the distance)
869
00:35:28,328 --> 00:35:30,163
I was in the car with my dad.
870
00:35:33,901 --> 00:35:36,070
We hit a tree
and he died instantly.
871
00:35:39,473 --> 00:35:41,475
He was taking me
to a friend's house.
872
00:35:43,978 --> 00:35:48,983
- I wanted to go to this party.
- (melancholy music)
873
00:35:49,349 --> 00:35:51,786
(Link sighs)
874
00:36:05,867 --> 00:36:10,538
- (chattering)
- (laughing)
875
00:36:20,982 --> 00:36:23,551
(upbeat music)
876
00:36:28,488 --> 00:36:30,490
No, doesn't even work.
877
00:36:32,860 --> 00:36:34,361
That's disgusting.
878
00:36:35,228 --> 00:36:37,832
(upbeat music)
879
00:36:39,399 --> 00:36:41,669
(buzzing)
880
00:36:41,703 --> 00:36:44,539
(door buzzes)
881
00:36:44,572 --> 00:36:47,775
(upbeat music)
882
00:36:47,809 --> 00:36:49,376
Yeah, who gives a fuck
about this guy?
883
00:36:50,745 --> 00:36:53,380
Who's that guy that you were
talking to in the graveyard?
884
00:37:01,089 --> 00:37:01,889
Hey.
885
00:37:01,923 --> 00:37:03,323
Hey.
886
00:37:03,356 --> 00:37:05,993
Hey.
887
00:37:06,027 --> 00:37:06,928
- Hey
- Hey.
888
00:37:08,529 --> 00:37:10,565
(toilet flushes)
889
00:37:10,598 --> 00:37:12,166
(door closes)
890
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:14,301
These marketing assholes.
Story of my life.
891
00:37:14,334 --> 00:37:15,368
I'm on mute.
Don't worry about it.
892
00:37:15,402 --> 00:37:17,038
How are you?
893
00:37:17,071 --> 00:37:19,173
Sorry I've been on this call
for six hours.
894
00:37:19,207 --> 00:37:22,710
Hey guys. This is Mark
chiming in here again.
895
00:37:22,744 --> 00:37:25,179
$500,000 or go away.
896
00:37:25,213 --> 00:37:27,014
You've got 30 seconds
to say yes.
897
00:37:27,048 --> 00:37:28,583
Every time you don't say yes,
898
00:37:28,616 --> 00:37:30,585
it's going to go up 10 grand,
all right?
899
00:37:30,618 --> 00:37:31,853
Mute.
900
00:37:31,886 --> 00:37:32,887
I swear to God.
901
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:33,988
Um, here's a bad sign.
902
00:37:34,021 --> 00:37:35,156
We're a sports company.
903
00:37:35,189 --> 00:37:36,858
We'd like to work with you.
904
00:37:36,891 --> 00:37:38,092
Every single executive
who works with us is fat.
905
00:37:38,126 --> 00:37:39,761
Mark, we can hear you.
906
00:37:39,794 --> 00:37:40,628
Hello?
907
00:37:41,863 --> 00:37:44,297
(Link laughs)
908
00:37:45,233 --> 00:37:46,200
No One Special.
909
00:37:47,101 --> 00:37:48,603
It's a pleasure.
910
00:37:48,636 --> 00:37:50,071
I haven't seen everything,
911
00:37:50,104 --> 00:37:51,672
but what I've seen,
I really love.
912
00:37:51,706 --> 00:37:53,241
And you want to make
some money off us.
913
00:37:53,273 --> 00:37:54,742
The little I've seen,
you've changed me,
914
00:37:54,776 --> 00:37:56,043
and I think I don't want
to hoard that.
915
00:37:56,077 --> 00:37:57,245
I want everyone
to feel that way.
916
00:37:57,277 --> 00:37:58,378
Oh, okay.
917
00:37:58,411 --> 00:37:59,614
So you want us to do porn?
918
00:37:59,647 --> 00:38:00,882
No, I don't want you to do porn.
919
00:38:00,915 --> 00:38:02,784
I think he's being metaphorical
920
00:38:02,817 --> 00:38:03,918
because we don't want to put
the cart before the horse.
921
00:38:03,951 --> 00:38:05,553
Right.
922
00:38:05,586 --> 00:38:07,121
So you used another metaphor
in that metaphor
923
00:38:07,155 --> 00:38:08,523
to explain that one?
924
00:38:08,556 --> 00:38:09,857
You're a writer, right?
925
00:38:09,891 --> 00:38:10,691
- Yeah.
- Okay, good.
926
00:38:10,725 --> 00:38:11,559
Here's the deal.
927
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:13,493
You've got talent.
928
00:38:14,829 --> 00:38:16,864
Do you know where the
word talent comes from?
929
00:38:16,898 --> 00:38:18,032
It's Middle English.
930
00:38:18,065 --> 00:38:19,634
Originally talent was money.
931
00:38:19,667 --> 00:38:21,569
How many talents do you have?
932
00:38:21,602 --> 00:38:23,738
Let's say you make a video
about a gorilla
933
00:38:23,771 --> 00:38:25,740
eating spaghetti
who speaks French.
934
00:38:25,773 --> 00:38:27,608
A thousand people watch it.
935
00:38:27,642 --> 00:38:29,977
The algorithm hears that,
sends it to the powers
936
00:38:30,011 --> 00:38:32,880
that be at YouTube,
which is really not YouTube,
937
00:38:32,914 --> 00:38:34,414
it's their tube.
938
00:38:34,447 --> 00:38:36,551
They say, hey,
we see a lot of people
939
00:38:36,584 --> 00:38:38,586
are coming to you with views.
940
00:38:38,619 --> 00:38:40,487
Well, guess what?
941
00:38:40,521 --> 00:38:42,957
You qualify for a Adidas video
in front of your thing.
942
00:38:42,990 --> 00:38:44,058
Would you like to do that?
943
00:38:44,091 --> 00:38:45,827
We'll give you $10,000.
944
00:38:46,761 --> 00:38:47,562
That's great, right?
945
00:38:47,595 --> 00:38:49,396
No.
946
00:38:49,429 --> 00:38:51,666
What you want to do,
you go to the brands yourself
947
00:38:51,699 --> 00:38:54,501
or they come to you if you
are gaining enough traction
948
00:38:54,535 --> 00:38:57,572
and you aren't represented
by anything, stay yourself.
949
00:38:57,605 --> 00:38:59,841
Then Subway comes to you.
$200,000.
950
00:38:59,874 --> 00:39:02,109
That was a $200,000 sub.
951
00:39:02,143 --> 00:39:03,343
You want us to endorse brands.
952
00:39:03,376 --> 00:39:05,012
No, no, no. They endorse you.
953
00:39:05,046 --> 00:39:06,013
You don't endorse them.
954
00:39:06,047 --> 00:39:07,815
That's how we work.
955
00:39:07,849 --> 00:39:09,416
Do you want to be the guys
that made two cool videos
956
00:39:09,449 --> 00:39:11,285
and then disappeared
into the ether?
957
00:39:13,154 --> 00:39:14,956
Or do you want
to be No One Special?
958
00:39:15,790 --> 00:39:18,025
(upbeat synth pop music)
959
00:39:18,059 --> 00:39:19,994
I got you the money.
I got you the stage.
960
00:39:20,027 --> 00:39:21,762
I'm drafting you right now
into the army.
961
00:39:21,796 --> 00:39:23,430
Let's go.
Tonight we parachute in.
962
00:39:23,463 --> 00:39:24,832
Jake, you're the writer,
you need to write it.
963
00:39:24,866 --> 00:39:26,499
Link, you're gonna act it,
964
00:39:26,534 --> 00:39:28,936
and I'm gonna figure
how to fucking do it.
965
00:39:28,970 --> 00:39:32,439
So we have phone or no phone.
966
00:39:32,472 --> 00:39:34,208
That's the question.
967
00:39:34,242 --> 00:39:38,279
Then we have the idea
of a game show, a talk show.
968
00:39:38,312 --> 00:39:40,480
What if we put
those two ideas together?
969
00:39:40,514 --> 00:39:42,250
Internet killed the TV star?
970
00:39:43,317 --> 00:39:44,552
No. Bad.
971
00:39:44,585 --> 00:39:45,385
Bad idea.
972
00:39:45,418 --> 00:39:46,254
Good idea?
973
00:39:51,391 --> 00:39:54,095
(Frankie laughs)
974
00:39:56,063 --> 00:39:57,464
Oh.
975
00:39:57,497 --> 00:39:58,566
- (Jake groans)
- Oh, sorry, sorry.
976
00:39:58,599 --> 00:39:59,867
- (Jake chuckles)
- Morning.
977
00:40:02,904 --> 00:40:05,405
(Jake grunts)
978
00:40:08,175 --> 00:40:09,243
Oh, shit.
979
00:40:10,111 --> 00:40:11,078
You all right?
980
00:40:11,112 --> 00:40:11,946
Yeah.
981
00:40:14,048 --> 00:40:16,183
(Link sighs)
982
00:40:16,217 --> 00:40:17,184
Okay.
983
00:40:17,218 --> 00:40:18,052
- Bye.
- Bye.
984
00:40:19,687 --> 00:40:20,688
Bye, baby.
985
00:40:31,431 --> 00:40:32,432
You need a ride?
986
00:40:32,465 --> 00:40:34,168
No, I'm good. Thanks.
987
00:40:34,201 --> 00:40:35,236
Good work today, man.
988
00:40:40,408 --> 00:40:42,810
(Link sighs)
989
00:40:52,753 --> 00:40:54,855
I should go, too.
990
00:40:54,889 --> 00:40:55,723
Of course.
991
00:40:56,657 --> 00:40:58,192
Yeah, 'cause I gotta, you know,
992
00:40:58,225 --> 00:40:59,393
I got a big night ahead of me,
so...
993
00:40:59,427 --> 00:41:00,695
Oh yeah?
994
00:41:00,728 --> 00:41:01,562
Yeah.
995
00:41:02,763 --> 00:41:03,764
Oh yeah, that thing.
996
00:41:03,798 --> 00:41:05,132
Sorry. I forgot.
997
00:41:05,166 --> 00:41:07,234
- Oh it's a thing, so...
- Yeah.
998
00:41:07,268 --> 00:41:09,270
I wouldn't want to get in
the way of you doing a thing.
999
00:41:09,303 --> 00:41:10,137
Yeah.
1000
00:41:12,406 --> 00:41:13,574
Mhm.
1001
00:41:13,607 --> 00:41:15,276
That's what I love about you,
1002
00:41:15,309 --> 00:41:16,610
is that you really support me
doing my thing.
1003
00:41:23,184 --> 00:41:25,052
I think you're cool.
1004
00:41:25,086 --> 00:41:26,620
All right, bye.
1005
00:41:26,654 --> 00:41:28,823
♪ You've walked out
a hundred times ♪
1006
00:41:28,856 --> 00:41:32,226
♪ How was I ♪
1007
00:41:32,259 --> 00:41:36,931
♪ Supposed to know this time
that you wouldn't come ♪
1008
00:41:36,964 --> 00:41:40,801
♪ That you wouldn't come home ♪
1009
00:41:42,503 --> 00:41:43,804
(knocking)
1010
00:41:43,838 --> 00:41:44,972
♪ But four drinks I'm wasted ♪
1011
00:41:45,006 --> 00:41:47,641
♪ I can see you dancing ♪
1012
00:41:47,675 --> 00:41:50,444
♪ I can lay down next you ♪
1013
00:41:50,478 --> 00:41:53,014
♪ At the foot of my bed ♪
1014
00:41:53,047 --> 00:41:55,616
♪ If I drink enough ♪
1015
00:41:55,649 --> 00:41:58,252
♪ I can taste your lipstick ♪
1016
00:41:58,285 --> 00:42:00,921
♪ I can lay down next to you ♪
1017
00:42:00,955 --> 00:42:03,591
♪ But it's all in my head ♪
1018
00:42:03,624 --> 00:42:06,260
♪ If I drink enough I swear ♪
1019
00:42:06,293 --> 00:42:10,398
♪ That I will wake up
next to you ♪
1020
00:42:26,847 --> 00:42:29,350
Pow, pow, pow, pow.
1021
00:42:29,383 --> 00:42:30,217
Pow.
1022
00:42:31,919 --> 00:42:35,423
(Frankie exhales shakily)
1023
00:42:37,858 --> 00:42:39,060
Hey.
1024
00:42:39,093 --> 00:42:39,894
- (laughing)
- Here we go.
1025
00:42:39,927 --> 00:42:41,695
Here we go.
1026
00:42:41,729 --> 00:42:43,064
Did you make those changes
on the mouse trap scene?
1027
00:42:43,097 --> 00:42:44,865
No, we cut that, remember?
1028
00:42:44,899 --> 00:42:46,667
We're gonna do the
greenhouse gases bit instead?
1029
00:42:46,700 --> 00:42:48,836
No, Jake, greenhouse is cut
and mouse traps is in.
1030
00:42:48,869 --> 00:42:50,805
Wait, what?
1031
00:42:50,838 --> 00:42:52,039
What? No, we have to have
those moments that are serious-
1032
00:42:52,073 --> 00:42:53,407
We like moustraps better.
1033
00:42:53,441 --> 00:42:54,875
- We have so many goofy-
- Look.
1034
00:42:54,909 --> 00:42:56,143
- Boo!
- The show-
1035
00:42:56,177 --> 00:42:58,012
- Oh.
- Jesus Christ, man.
1036
00:42:58,045 --> 00:42:59,680
Hey, you're gonna stay on
like the whole time, right?
1037
00:42:59,713 --> 00:43:00,748
Just keep focused on him.
1038
00:43:00,781 --> 00:43:02,383
Here we go. Here we go.
1039
00:43:02,416 --> 00:43:03,552
Oh, you guys
have never done this before.
1040
00:43:03,584 --> 00:43:04,752
- How you doin'?
- Oh.
1041
00:43:04,785 --> 00:43:06,353
Good.
1042
00:43:06,387 --> 00:43:07,188
(Frankie exhales sharply)
1043
00:43:07,221 --> 00:43:08,222
Hey.
1044
00:43:08,255 --> 00:43:09,723
Hey, I need to uh...
1045
00:43:10,758 --> 00:43:13,194
I...
1046
00:43:13,227 --> 00:43:14,529
I don't know if I can do this.
1047
00:43:14,563 --> 00:43:16,163
You're going to be great, man.
1048
00:43:16,197 --> 00:43:17,031
Don't worry about it.
Don't overthink it.
1049
00:43:17,064 --> 00:43:18,732
Just breathe.
1050
00:43:18,766 --> 00:43:19,600
No, you've got to be dumb
to be smart, right?
1051
00:43:19,633 --> 00:43:21,368
Go be dumb.
1052
00:43:21,402 --> 00:43:23,838
If we do this,
you know there's no going back.
1053
00:43:23,871 --> 00:43:25,039
Who wants to go back?
1054
00:43:25,072 --> 00:43:26,440
Showtime.
(claps)
1055
00:43:26,474 --> 00:43:27,308
Let's do it.
1056
00:43:28,742 --> 00:43:31,979
(Link exhales sharply)
1057
00:43:33,614 --> 00:43:36,450
(exhales sharply)
1058
00:43:46,627 --> 00:43:47,562
(exhales sharply)
1059
00:43:47,596 --> 00:43:49,497
And action.
1060
00:43:50,464 --> 00:43:54,536
(upbeat game show music)
1061
00:43:54,569 --> 00:43:58,372
- (cheering)
- (clapping)
1062
00:43:58,405 --> 00:44:01,809
(upbeat game show music)
1063
00:44:05,980 --> 00:44:08,048
(laughing)
1064
00:44:08,082 --> 00:44:11,485
(upbeat game show music)
1065
00:44:19,827 --> 00:44:21,896
(taps)
1066
00:44:21,929 --> 00:44:24,999
Thank you, severed hand.
(laughs)
1067
00:44:25,032 --> 00:44:28,135
What a response.
Give a hand to the hand.
1068
00:44:28,169 --> 00:44:30,004
(laughs)
1069
00:44:30,037 --> 00:44:31,573
I'm your host and I'm,
you know, I'm No One Special.
1070
00:44:31,606 --> 00:44:32,740
And are you all um...
1071
00:44:32,773 --> 00:44:34,643
(audio glitching)
1072
00:44:34,675 --> 00:44:36,210
You're all sitting comfortably?
1073
00:44:37,044 --> 00:44:39,180
And when you all came
into the studio today,
1074
00:44:39,213 --> 00:44:41,015
- (fly buzzing)
- you were asked to
1075
00:44:41,048 --> 00:44:43,083
hand over your cell phones
and sign some, some uh,
1076
00:44:43,117 --> 00:44:44,586
- some kind of waivers.
- (thunder rumbles)
1077
00:44:44,619 --> 00:44:46,521
Hey, severed hand is back.
1078
00:44:46,555 --> 00:44:48,322
I hope you read
the small print, folks,
1079
00:44:48,355 --> 00:44:50,491
'cause you've just signed
your phones over to me.
1080
00:44:50,525 --> 00:44:51,358
Oh.
1081
00:44:52,393 --> 00:44:55,129
The atmosphere
is suddenly so tense.
1082
00:44:55,162 --> 00:44:57,097
Can you feel it at home, kids?
1083
00:44:57,131 --> 00:45:02,136
As we play Your Phone
or Your Dignity? (laughs)
1084
00:45:05,406 --> 00:45:08,677
(upbeat game show music)
1085
00:45:08,709 --> 00:45:10,177
Sorry.
1086
00:45:10,211 --> 00:45:11,779
- I don't remember.
- (cheering)
1087
00:45:11,812 --> 00:45:13,147
Am I going here?
Where am I going, Candice?
1088
00:45:13,180 --> 00:45:14,315
Over there?
1089
00:45:14,348 --> 00:45:15,382
Candice told me to go here.
1090
00:45:15,416 --> 00:45:16,651
I don't even know.
1091
00:45:16,685 --> 00:45:17,918
Let's see who we got. Hi.
1092
00:45:19,353 --> 00:45:20,354
(upbeat game show music)
1093
00:45:20,387 --> 00:45:21,556
Everybody's miserable.
1094
00:45:21,590 --> 00:45:23,190
Everybody's so sad.
1095
00:45:23,224 --> 00:45:24,358
Why is everyone so...
1096
00:45:24,391 --> 00:45:25,826
It's a game show. It's fun.
1097
00:45:25,859 --> 00:45:27,494
Excuse me. Let me squeeze.
1098
00:45:27,529 --> 00:45:29,730
Bring the music, music down.
We can't hear.
1099
00:45:29,763 --> 00:45:30,864
Cut the music!
1100
00:45:30,898 --> 00:45:32,567
That's the cue to cut the-
1101
00:45:32,601 --> 00:45:33,635
So sir, what's your name?
Where are you from?
1102
00:45:33,668 --> 00:45:34,802
Um, my name is Martin.
1103
00:45:34,835 --> 00:45:35,970
I'm from Temecula.
1104
00:45:36,003 --> 00:45:37,572
Beautiful name, beautiful place.
1105
00:45:37,606 --> 00:45:39,039
God's country.
Had an aunt from Temecula.
1106
00:45:39,073 --> 00:45:40,407
You want to feel my carpet?
1107
00:45:41,408 --> 00:45:42,209
Um...
1108
00:45:42,243 --> 00:45:43,244
Yeah you do!
1109
00:45:43,277 --> 00:45:44,512
Let's go.
1110
00:45:44,546 --> 00:45:46,080
Here we are, me and Martin.
1111
00:45:50,751 --> 00:45:52,319
Come on, feel it.
1112
00:45:52,353 --> 00:45:53,854
You wanna lay on it?
1113
00:45:53,887 --> 00:45:54,888
Oh, sure.
1114
00:45:56,123 --> 00:45:57,559
How does that feel?
1115
00:45:57,592 --> 00:45:59,226
It feels like just great,
smooth.
1116
00:45:59,260 --> 00:46:00,094
Smooth ass carpet.
1117
00:46:00,127 --> 00:46:01,696
Smooth carpet.
1118
00:46:01,730 --> 00:46:03,397
All right,
enough fooling around folks.
1119
00:46:03,430 --> 00:46:05,099
Let's get on with the show.
1120
00:46:05,132 --> 00:46:06,668
(panting)
1121
00:46:06,701 --> 00:46:08,168
One simple question for you,
Martin.
1122
00:46:08,202 --> 00:46:10,705
How badly do you need
your phone?
1123
00:46:11,573 --> 00:46:14,875
Um, I mean, yeah,
I use it all the time.
1124
00:46:14,908 --> 00:46:16,343
Right. Don't we all?
1125
00:46:16,377 --> 00:46:19,079
Well, Martin,
it is your lucky day
1126
00:46:19,113 --> 00:46:23,917
because you get to walk away
with $100
1127
00:46:23,951 --> 00:46:26,820
and one of these
brand spanking new devices.
1128
00:46:28,889 --> 00:46:31,425
These phones come with
no camera and no internet
1129
00:46:31,458 --> 00:46:34,428
which means freedom from self
obsession and social media.
1130
00:46:34,461 --> 00:46:36,598
What a prize, am I right?
1131
00:46:38,999 --> 00:46:42,403
Or, Martin, you can complete
one of our challenges
1132
00:46:42,436 --> 00:46:47,642
to retrieve your old, needy,
soul sucking phone.
1133
00:46:47,676 --> 00:46:49,276
It was like 800 bucks.
1134
00:46:49,310 --> 00:46:50,811
Yeah, I need it.
I use it all the time.
1135
00:46:50,844 --> 00:46:52,413
Well if you want
your phone back, Martin,
1136
00:46:52,446 --> 00:46:55,382
you're going to have to
wrestle this guy for it.
1137
00:46:55,416 --> 00:46:57,117
Come and get your phone, Martin.
1138
00:46:59,186 --> 00:47:00,020
Chee-hoo!
1139
00:47:00,988 --> 00:47:01,822
Ah!
1140
00:47:03,591 --> 00:47:04,925
I'm backing you, Martin.
1141
00:47:06,661 --> 00:47:07,995
Yes.
1142
00:47:08,028 --> 00:47:08,996
(Martin grunts)
1143
00:47:09,029 --> 00:47:09,997
Oh come on, Martin.
1144
00:47:10,030 --> 00:47:11,131
You're better than this.
1145
00:47:11,165 --> 00:47:12,266
(Martin grunting)
1146
00:47:12,299 --> 00:47:13,768
Isn't he doing great?
1147
00:47:13,802 --> 00:47:16,270
(wrestler grunts)
1148
00:47:16,303 --> 00:47:18,005
(Martin yells)
1149
00:47:18,038 --> 00:47:19,808
And, ah, he's got it.
1150
00:47:20,675 --> 00:47:23,977
Give it up for Martin
from Temecula, I guess.
1151
00:47:24,011 --> 00:47:25,179
I got my phone.
1152
00:47:25,212 --> 00:47:27,081
He got his phone back.
1153
00:47:27,114 --> 00:47:30,785
Welcome to the rest
of your life, Martin.
1154
00:47:30,819 --> 00:47:34,221
(upbeat game show music)
1155
00:47:43,631 --> 00:47:46,367
I'm Charles Melton and I'm
here with No One Special.
1156
00:47:48,168 --> 00:47:50,137
We're about to destroy
Chuck's phone.
1157
00:47:55,042 --> 00:47:55,844
(hits)
1158
00:47:55,876 --> 00:47:57,978
(cheering)
1159
00:47:58,011 --> 00:47:59,480
- Woo!
- Got it!
1160
00:47:59,514 --> 00:48:02,483
Chuck M killed it.
No One Special.
1161
00:48:02,517 --> 00:48:03,384
Stay tuned.
1162
00:48:03,417 --> 00:48:05,386
NoOneSpecial.com.
1163
00:48:05,419 --> 00:48:06,253
Peace!
1164
00:48:07,221 --> 00:48:10,124
(cheering)
1165
00:48:10,157 --> 00:48:13,961
♪ And I do what I can ♪
1166
00:48:13,994 --> 00:48:15,630
♪ I got friends in high places ♪
1167
00:48:15,663 --> 00:48:17,398
♪ I get out for free ♪
1168
00:48:17,431 --> 00:48:20,668
♪ I got in a fight
but they don't know me ♪
1169
00:48:20,702 --> 00:48:24,238
♪ Because in only a man ♪
1170
00:48:24,271 --> 00:48:28,242
♪ And I do what I can ♪
1171
00:48:28,275 --> 00:48:31,846
♪ B-E-H-A-V-E arrest us ♪
1172
00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:35,550
♪ Italiana monster
looking so precious ♪
1173
00:48:35,583 --> 00:48:38,887
♪ B-E-H-A-V-E never more ♪
1174
00:48:38,919 --> 00:48:40,487
♪ You gave up being good ♪
1175
00:48:40,522 --> 00:48:42,590
♪ When you declared
a state of war ♪
1176
00:48:42,624 --> 00:48:43,924
Love you, No One Special.
1177
00:48:43,957 --> 00:48:46,093
I fucking love you.
1178
00:48:46,126 --> 00:48:49,764
♪ Eh, oh, don't behave,
oh don't behave, oh ♪
1179
00:48:49,798 --> 00:48:54,569
♪ Eh, oh, don't behave,
oh don't behave, oh ♪
1180
00:48:54,602 --> 00:48:55,703
I choose...
1181
00:48:57,237 --> 00:48:58,907
My dignity.
1182
00:48:58,939 --> 00:49:03,912
♪ Do what I can, ooh-whoa-oh ♪
1183
00:49:03,944 --> 00:49:08,081
♪ 'Cause I'm only a man,
do what I can ♪
1184
00:49:08,115 --> 00:49:09,383
♪ You're going to the party ♪
1185
00:49:09,416 --> 00:49:11,418
♪ And you're goin' to the show ♪
1186
00:49:11,452 --> 00:49:14,856
♪ I did something bad,
maybe I was wrong ♪
1187
00:49:14,889 --> 00:49:18,025
♪ Sometimes people say
that I'm a big time bomb ♪
1188
00:49:18,058 --> 00:49:21,763
♪ But I'm only a man ♪
1189
00:49:21,796 --> 00:49:25,733
♪ And I do what I can ♪
1190
00:49:25,767 --> 00:49:29,303
♪ B-E-H-A-V-E arrest us ♪
1191
00:49:29,336 --> 00:49:32,941
♪ Italiana monster
looking so precious ♪
1192
00:49:32,973 --> 00:49:36,310
♪ B-E-H-A-V-E never more ♪
1193
00:49:36,343 --> 00:49:37,946
♪ You gave up being good ♪
1194
00:49:37,978 --> 00:49:40,080
♪ When you declared
a state a war ♪
1195
00:49:40,113 --> 00:49:43,383
♪ Eh, oh, don't behave,
oh don't behave, oh ♪
1196
00:49:43,417 --> 00:49:46,987
♪ Eh, oh, don't behave,
oh don't behave, oh ♪
1197
00:49:47,020 --> 00:49:50,558
♪ Eh, oh, don't behave,
oh don't behave, oh ♪
1198
00:49:50,592 --> 00:49:51,992
♪ You're going to the party ♪
1199
00:49:52,025 --> 00:49:54,061
♪ And you're goin' to the show ♪
1200
00:49:54,094 --> 00:49:59,099
♪ 'Cause I'm only a man,
do what can, ooh-whoa-oh ♪
1201
00:50:01,168 --> 00:50:05,740
♪ 'Cause I'm only a man,
do what I can ♪
1202
00:50:05,773 --> 00:50:07,007
♪ You're going to the party ♪
1203
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:08,810
♪ And you're goin' to the show ♪
1204
00:50:08,843 --> 00:50:13,915
♪ Oh, whoa-oh ♪
1205
00:50:13,948 --> 00:50:17,585
♪ The fire hurts all right ♪
1206
00:50:17,619 --> 00:50:21,288
♪ 'Cause we can make 'em all
go crazy ♪
1207
00:50:21,321 --> 00:50:23,423
♪ We can make 'em all right ♪
1208
00:50:23,457 --> 00:50:26,193
♪ Oh, whoa-oh-oh ♪
1209
00:50:27,862 --> 00:50:29,429
Hey gorgeous.
1210
00:50:29,463 --> 00:50:31,298
I just wanted to say I'm sorry
1211
00:50:31,331 --> 00:50:33,133
that we're not doing
the twinning politicians thing.
1212
00:50:33,166 --> 00:50:34,301
Yeah. Okay, sure.
1213
00:50:37,371 --> 00:50:38,706
You know I see you, right?
1214
00:50:40,374 --> 00:50:41,843
You see me?
1215
00:50:41,876 --> 00:50:43,377
I see you flirting
with that girl.
1216
00:50:43,410 --> 00:50:44,244
I see you.
1217
00:50:47,381 --> 00:50:49,082
You call that flirting? Well...
1218
00:50:49,984 --> 00:50:51,151
Yeah.
1219
00:50:51,184 --> 00:50:52,787
Oh no, I'll show you flirting.
1220
00:50:52,820 --> 00:50:54,656
I'll take you to the back room
right now.
1221
00:50:54,689 --> 00:50:56,323
Thought you've taken
enough people to the back room.
1222
00:50:59,761 --> 00:51:00,595
Don't hurt her.
1223
00:51:03,230 --> 00:51:05,833
(Link laughs)
1224
00:51:05,867 --> 00:51:08,435
I love that, Jake. I love it.
1225
00:51:09,369 --> 00:51:11,639
Eh uh, how else can I say it?
1226
00:51:11,673 --> 00:51:14,308
I'm just,
I'm getting a little antsy.
1227
00:51:14,341 --> 00:51:15,877
But I don't understand,
antsy about what?
1228
00:51:15,910 --> 00:51:17,477
Specifically what's going wrong?
1229
00:51:17,512 --> 00:51:18,913
It's not a nosedive.
1230
00:51:18,947 --> 00:51:21,683
It's more like, um,
like a little,
1231
00:51:21,716 --> 00:51:23,083
like a little, um...
1232
00:51:23,116 --> 00:51:24,819
Just spit it out, Mark.
1233
00:51:24,852 --> 00:51:26,888
We're down about 15%
since the last episode.
1234
00:51:26,921 --> 00:51:29,156
If you don't do something,
you will lose more.
1235
00:51:29,189 --> 00:51:30,658
It's science.
1236
00:51:30,692 --> 00:51:31,826
Just shake it up.
1237
00:51:31,859 --> 00:51:32,860
Get people interested again.
1238
00:51:32,894 --> 00:51:33,928
Get 'em back up.
1239
00:51:33,962 --> 00:51:35,063
It all corrects itself.
1240
00:51:35,095 --> 00:51:36,030
Yes. Yes.
1241
00:51:36,064 --> 00:51:37,599
I'm busting my ass
1242
00:51:37,632 --> 00:51:39,867
and you're writing
the same old tired shit.
1243
00:51:39,901 --> 00:51:41,836
I've been saying that for weeks.
1244
00:51:41,869 --> 00:51:43,037
You guys told me that I had
to stick to the formula.
1245
00:51:43,071 --> 00:51:44,505
It was working, now it's not.
1246
00:51:44,539 --> 00:51:46,406
We're all clear
it's not Jake's fault.
1247
00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:48,375
I wrote the greenhouse gases
bit and then that got cut.
1248
00:51:48,408 --> 00:51:50,578
Yeah, 'cause climate change
isn't sexy right now, Jake.
1249
00:51:50,612 --> 00:51:52,179
I'm sorry.
Climate change isn't sexy?
1250
00:51:52,212 --> 00:51:54,348
Are you out of your mind?
1251
00:51:54,381 --> 00:51:55,750
I didn't know the end of the
world is supposed to be sexy.
1252
00:51:55,783 --> 00:51:57,250
Can you take the cotton
out of your ears
1253
00:51:57,284 --> 00:51:58,251
and put it in your mouth
for one second
1254
00:51:58,285 --> 00:52:00,021
and listen to Mark?
1255
00:52:00,054 --> 00:52:01,556
We're losing views
and we need to get them back up,
1256
00:52:01,589 --> 00:52:02,624
so we need to write stuff
that's new,
1257
00:52:02,657 --> 00:52:04,224
not cliche, not boring.
1258
00:52:04,257 --> 00:52:05,760
Well it won't be boring
when the polar bears
1259
00:52:05,793 --> 00:52:07,227
are scratching
at our front door because
1260
00:52:07,260 --> 00:52:08,863
- their habitats are melted.
- Fuck.
1261
00:52:08,896 --> 00:52:09,897
And it won't be boring
when we don't have
1262
00:52:09,931 --> 00:52:11,599
any clean water to drink.
1263
00:52:11,633 --> 00:52:13,266
We need to get
Jake's soapbox in here, guys.
1264
00:52:13,300 --> 00:52:14,134
Get the viewers back up
before we lose anymore.
1265
00:52:14,167 --> 00:52:15,870
It's very simple.
1266
00:52:15,903 --> 00:52:17,437
Come up with something amazing
and new, now.
1267
00:52:17,471 --> 00:52:18,940
I know you hate me.
1268
00:52:18,973 --> 00:52:20,775
You're going to love me soon.
Trust me.
1269
00:52:20,808 --> 00:52:23,410
Welcome to fuckin' life, baby.
1270
00:52:25,312 --> 00:52:26,446
Where's the chocolate?
1271
00:52:26,480 --> 00:52:27,280
Are you too high and mighty?
1272
00:52:27,314 --> 00:52:28,448
Mm, yeah.
1273
00:52:28,482 --> 00:52:29,917
And you know what a fuckin'
1274
00:52:29,951 --> 00:52:30,585
hungry polar bear
will really do?
1275
00:52:30,618 --> 00:52:31,819
Eat you.
1276
00:52:31,853 --> 00:52:33,153
It will eat you.
1277
00:52:33,186 --> 00:52:34,989
You can love it from here.
1278
00:52:35,023 --> 00:52:36,256
Let me tell you,
if you ever met a real polar bear,
1279
00:52:36,289 --> 00:52:38,126
they would fuckin' eat you.
1280
00:52:38,158 --> 00:52:40,227
(synth music)
1281
00:52:40,260 --> 00:52:41,996
I got an idea.
1282
00:52:42,030 --> 00:52:45,099
What if we shifted
the way people behave online?
1283
00:52:45,133 --> 00:52:46,934
Not trying to take away
the phone,
1284
00:52:46,968 --> 00:52:49,671
but trying to put the soul back
into the phone?
1285
00:52:53,875 --> 00:52:57,512
(audience applause)
1286
00:52:57,545 --> 00:52:59,580
What do you say we shake it up
a little bit, folks?
1287
00:52:59,614 --> 00:53:01,448
There's someone I'm looking for.
1288
00:53:01,481 --> 00:53:02,382
There's someone...
1289
00:53:03,383 --> 00:53:05,687
Do we have an Isabelle Roberts?
1290
00:53:05,720 --> 00:53:06,621
Isabelle Roberts?
1291
00:53:06,654 --> 00:53:08,355
Yes?
1292
00:53:08,388 --> 00:53:10,024
Okay, and bring around
the camera on Isabelle.
1293
00:53:10,058 --> 00:53:11,125
Sweetheart,
what are you waiting for?
1294
00:53:11,159 --> 00:53:12,694
Destiny awaits!
1295
00:53:12,727 --> 00:53:14,996
I don't know about this.
1296
00:53:15,029 --> 00:53:18,866
Yeah, you made that very clear
in the room.
1297
00:53:18,900 --> 00:53:20,768
Let's let it play out.
1298
00:53:20,802 --> 00:53:21,703
Isabelle.
1299
00:53:23,004 --> 00:53:24,072
That's sexy.
1300
00:53:26,074 --> 00:53:27,508
Hi.
1301
00:53:27,542 --> 00:53:29,309
So Isabelle,
my source is telling me,
1302
00:53:29,342 --> 00:53:31,112
you mind if I lean on you?
1303
00:53:31,145 --> 00:53:33,548
My source is telling me
you're a big fan of Instagram,
1304
00:53:33,581 --> 00:53:35,282
- is that right?
- Mhm.
1305
00:53:35,315 --> 00:53:37,250
Okay. So let's have a look
at your best shot.
1306
00:53:38,886 --> 00:53:39,987
- Yeah.
- Whoa!
1307
00:53:40,021 --> 00:53:41,155
- Beautiful.
- What?
1308
00:53:41,189 --> 00:53:43,624
(clapping)
1309
00:53:43,658 --> 00:53:45,225
You gotta warn me next time
1310
00:53:45,258 --> 00:53:46,060
there's gonna be a supermodel
in the room.
1311
00:53:46,094 --> 00:53:47,995
Here we go.
1312
00:53:48,029 --> 00:53:49,664
What's your secret, Isabelle,
for looking so damn fresh?
1313
00:53:50,765 --> 00:53:52,466
(chuckles)
1314
00:53:52,499 --> 00:53:54,234
I don't, I don't know.
1315
00:53:54,267 --> 00:53:57,171
I drink a lot of water,
I guess, and try to eat well.
1316
00:53:57,205 --> 00:53:58,673
Well, let's have a look
at the original version
1317
00:53:58,706 --> 00:53:59,674
of the photo we found
on your phone.
1318
00:53:59,707 --> 00:54:00,541
No, no...
1319
00:54:01,709 --> 00:54:05,146
(soft, tense tinkling music)
1320
00:54:05,179 --> 00:54:07,148
(audience exclaims)
Oh.
1321
00:54:07,181 --> 00:54:11,919
- (audience members chattering)
- (soft, tense tinkling music)
1322
00:54:13,955 --> 00:54:15,422
Did you know
that she had a birthmark?
1323
00:54:15,455 --> 00:54:16,289
That's a...
1324
00:54:19,727 --> 00:54:20,528
It's a birthmark.
1325
00:54:20,561 --> 00:54:21,394
Well...
1326
00:54:22,429 --> 00:54:23,263
Yeah.
1327
00:54:24,364 --> 00:54:28,603
Well I don't, I don't see it...
1328
00:54:28,636 --> 00:54:30,238
I don't see it now.
1329
00:54:32,774 --> 00:54:34,008
I have my makeup on.
1330
00:54:34,041 --> 00:54:35,009
Oh, of course.
1331
00:54:35,042 --> 00:54:37,078
Well, you know what?
1332
00:54:37,111 --> 00:54:38,179
I think that's just another
beautiful part of yourself.
1333
00:54:38,212 --> 00:54:39,446
What do you guys think?
1334
00:54:39,479 --> 00:54:40,681
Yeah!
1335
00:54:40,715 --> 00:54:41,682
(clapping)
1336
00:54:41,716 --> 00:54:45,019
Proud. She's proud.
1337
00:54:45,052 --> 00:54:46,754
Tell me something,
how many likes do you think
1338
00:54:46,788 --> 00:54:48,556
this version of the photo
would get?
1339
00:54:48,589 --> 00:54:51,192
Uh, I would, I would never...
1340
00:54:51,225 --> 00:54:53,127
I wouldn't.
1341
00:54:53,161 --> 00:54:55,295
Are you prepared to let
the world see the real you?
1342
00:54:56,998 --> 00:54:58,699
What do you mean?
1343
00:54:58,733 --> 00:54:59,734
You're not gonna...
1344
00:54:59,767 --> 00:55:01,301
Oh no, no, no, no, no.
1345
00:55:01,334 --> 00:55:02,937
No, no, I'm not.
I'm not gonna do anything.
1346
00:55:03,971 --> 00:55:04,806
You are.
1347
00:55:06,073 --> 00:55:09,811
(soft, tense tinkling music)
1348
00:55:12,246 --> 00:55:13,080
Isabelle.
1349
00:55:14,447 --> 00:55:16,818
(soft, tense tinkling music)
1350
00:55:16,851 --> 00:55:18,451
If you hit this button,
1351
00:55:18,485 --> 00:55:20,054
the original version
of this photo
1352
00:55:20,087 --> 00:55:22,089
will be sent out
to all your followers
1353
00:55:22,123 --> 00:55:23,825
with the hashtag the real me,
1354
00:55:23,858 --> 00:55:27,494
and you'll walk away
with $400 and your phone
1355
00:55:27,528 --> 00:55:30,998
and a tremendous amount
of self-respect and liberation.
1356
00:55:31,032 --> 00:55:33,267
So what should she do audience?
1357
00:55:33,301 --> 00:55:35,837
- Does she press the button?
- (audience applause)
1358
00:55:35,870 --> 00:55:38,606
Um, will you just mostly
stay on the wide for now?
1359
00:55:38,639 --> 00:55:40,007
Thank you.
1360
00:55:40,041 --> 00:55:43,511
- (audience clapping)
- (cheering)
1361
00:55:43,544 --> 00:55:46,346
I mean, it's pretty clear
what they want,
1362
00:55:46,379 --> 00:55:47,515
but it's up to you, Isabelle.
1363
00:55:47,548 --> 00:55:48,950
So what's it gonna be?
1364
00:55:48,983 --> 00:55:50,952
Your phone or your vanity?
1365
00:55:53,688 --> 00:55:55,323
I can't, I can't.
1366
00:55:55,355 --> 00:55:57,024
This is the best.
1367
00:55:57,058 --> 00:55:58,192
Everyone in the audience
can see it.
1368
00:55:58,226 --> 00:56:00,094
What are you afraid of, darling?
1369
00:56:00,127 --> 00:56:02,530
That these people at home
will think that you're ugly,
1370
00:56:02,563 --> 00:56:03,998
that they'll think
you're rejectable?
1371
00:56:04,031 --> 00:56:05,465
That they'll think
you're unlovable?
1372
00:56:05,498 --> 00:56:08,435
We are in trouble, folks. Woo.
1373
00:56:08,468 --> 00:56:12,540
We got innocent,
pure angels who have
1374
00:56:12,573 --> 00:56:14,441
somehow been brainwashed.
1375
00:56:14,474 --> 00:56:16,711
We are disfiguring ourselves.
1376
00:56:17,578 --> 00:56:21,182
Taking needles,
shoving them in our faces.
1377
00:56:21,215 --> 00:56:22,617
They're taking our chins
and they're
1378
00:56:22,650 --> 00:56:23,985
putting them in our asses.
1379
00:56:25,052 --> 00:56:27,321
You're saving polar bears
right now, Jake.
1380
00:56:27,355 --> 00:56:28,356
Okay, come on.
1381
00:56:29,824 --> 00:56:31,325
Stop it.
1382
00:56:31,359 --> 00:56:33,127
- Are you gonna stop this.
- Look, it could
1383
00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:34,862
- be really powerful.
- No, are you gonna stop this?
1384
00:56:34,896 --> 00:56:35,897
- Look at her face.
- It could be really powerful.
1385
00:56:35,930 --> 00:56:37,531
Let it cook, let it cook.
1386
00:56:37,565 --> 00:56:39,200
Are we going insane?
Are we going crazy?
1387
00:56:39,233 --> 00:56:41,636
I feel like I'm going crazy
every damn day.
1388
00:56:41,669 --> 00:56:42,837
She's cracking.
1389
00:56:42,870 --> 00:56:44,805
You can't stop 'em mid crack.
1390
00:56:44,839 --> 00:56:46,073
That's what they're doing,
Isabelle,
1391
00:56:46,107 --> 00:56:47,708
that's what they've done to you.
1392
00:56:48,609 --> 00:56:50,578
I can't watch,
but I can't stop watching.
1393
00:56:50,611 --> 00:56:53,147
Are we going to take
this shit anymore?
1394
00:56:53,180 --> 00:56:54,015
No!
1395
00:56:55,549 --> 00:56:58,219
Is Isabelle going to
take this shit anymore?
1396
00:56:58,252 --> 00:56:59,687
No!
1397
00:57:01,088 --> 00:57:03,357
You got to lead
the revolution, Isabelle,
1398
00:57:03,391 --> 00:57:05,425
and it's oh so simple.
1399
00:57:05,458 --> 00:57:10,131
All you must do
is hit that button.
1400
00:57:11,431 --> 00:57:13,000
Look at her face.
1401
00:57:13,034 --> 00:57:15,169
You're not gonna stop this?
1402
00:57:15,202 --> 00:57:16,938
We're stopping nothing,
my friend.
1403
00:57:18,873 --> 00:57:19,974
I'm gonna stop this.
1404
00:57:22,610 --> 00:57:24,078
What are we stopping?
1405
00:57:24,111 --> 00:57:25,613
This? No, no, no, no.
1406
00:57:25,646 --> 00:57:27,014
- (Isabelle sobbing)
- Stop crying.
1407
00:57:27,048 --> 00:57:28,950
Stop crying right now.
1408
00:57:28,983 --> 00:57:32,987
That's all you must do to
lead the revolution, Isabelle.
1409
00:57:34,822 --> 00:57:36,123
(buzzing)
1410
00:57:36,157 --> 00:57:41,362
- (cheering)
- (upbeat music)
1411
00:57:41,395 --> 00:57:42,930
She did it, folks!
1412
00:57:42,964 --> 00:57:45,399
We're free now! And I'm free!
1413
00:57:47,435 --> 00:57:48,402
Stop crying.
1414
00:57:48,436 --> 00:57:49,804
Grow up.
1415
00:57:49,837 --> 00:57:53,040
Stop your fucking crying
right now.
1416
00:57:53,074 --> 00:57:54,108
Don't do this to me.
1417
00:57:54,141 --> 00:57:55,042
Don't ruin this for me.
1418
00:57:55,076 --> 00:57:55,910
Pull it together.
1419
00:57:55,943 --> 00:57:57,311
Just stop it.
1420
00:57:57,345 --> 00:57:58,312
- Hey, back up.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1421
00:57:58,346 --> 00:57:59,880
Hey. You all right?
1422
00:57:59,914 --> 00:58:00,715
- I got it, I got it.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1423
00:58:00,748 --> 00:58:02,049
She's great.
1424
00:58:02,083 --> 00:58:03,551
- She's great.
- I'm so sorry.
1425
00:58:03,584 --> 00:58:04,585
I'm really, really sorry,
all right?
1426
00:58:04,618 --> 00:58:06,087
That wasn't scripted.
1427
00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:07,555
You can't treat people
like that, okay?
1428
00:58:07,588 --> 00:58:08,756
I told you
you couldn't go there.
1429
00:58:08,789 --> 00:58:10,291
And I hope that you understand
1430
00:58:10,324 --> 00:58:11,993
that we're going to
make it up to you.
1431
00:58:12,026 --> 00:58:13,160
Do you want to get up here
and give it a try?
1432
00:58:13,194 --> 00:58:14,095
- Guys.
- Come here, baby.
1433
00:58:14,128 --> 00:58:15,830
Give me a kiss.
1434
00:58:15,863 --> 00:58:17,431
- You're a straight-up psychopath.
- Jake!
1435
00:58:17,465 --> 00:58:19,100
Back off, back off,
back off, back off.
1436
00:58:19,133 --> 00:58:20,500
- You're a psychopath.
- Jake, you gotta stop.
1437
00:58:20,534 --> 00:58:22,169
- You're outta line.
- I'm outta line?
1438
00:58:22,203 --> 00:58:23,738
- Jake you gotta stop.
- That was out of line!
1439
00:58:23,771 --> 00:58:24,972
- That was out line.
- Please calm down,
1440
00:58:25,006 --> 00:58:26,841
- please calm down.
- Yeah.
1441
00:58:26,874 --> 00:58:28,576
This is our head writer, Jake,
ladies and gentlemen.
1442
00:58:28,609 --> 00:58:29,777
He's having some kind
of a nervous breakdown.
1443
00:58:29,810 --> 00:58:31,645
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Stop.
1444
00:58:31,679 --> 00:58:32,313
- This is fucking bullshit.
- Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
1445
00:58:32,346 --> 00:58:33,781
Goodbye.
1446
00:58:33,814 --> 00:58:35,449
Can you give them
a helping hand?
1447
00:58:35,483 --> 00:58:37,018
- Give him a little hand, folks.
- (clapping)
1448
00:58:37,051 --> 00:58:38,586
- Jake, please, okay.
- This is ridiculous.
1449
00:58:38,619 --> 00:58:39,820
- This is the same-
- Please, calm down.
1450
00:58:39,854 --> 00:58:41,088
Please, let's go talk about it.
1451
00:58:41,122 --> 00:58:42,123
- Please.
- Jake, goodbye, goodbye.
1452
00:58:42,156 --> 00:58:43,157
Take care of yourself.
1453
00:58:43,190 --> 00:58:44,959
Get better soon. Wow.
1454
00:58:44,992 --> 00:58:46,527
You think you know somebody,
and then you don't.
1455
00:58:46,560 --> 00:58:47,661
Jake. Jake.
Jake, you have to calm down.
1456
00:58:47,695 --> 00:58:48,596
He was bullying that girl.
1457
00:58:48,629 --> 00:58:49,497
No, she's fine.
1458
00:58:49,530 --> 00:58:51,265
I spoke to her.
1459
00:58:51,298 --> 00:58:52,767
- We're gonna edit around it.
- No, she's not fine.
1460
00:58:52,800 --> 00:58:54,502
She's sobbing
on the side of the stage.
1461
00:58:54,535 --> 00:58:55,369
Look, he was trying
something new for the show.
1462
00:58:55,403 --> 00:58:56,537
Fuck the show.
1463
00:58:56,570 --> 00:58:57,705
Who cares about the stupid show?
1464
00:58:57,738 --> 00:58:58,873
I do. I care about the show.
1465
00:58:58,906 --> 00:59:00,341
I cared about the show too,
1466
00:59:00,374 --> 00:59:01,510
when we were satirizing
awful people.
1467
00:59:01,542 --> 00:59:03,344
Now we are the awful people.
1468
00:59:03,377 --> 00:59:04,779
I want you to wake up
'cause you're getting swept up
1469
00:59:04,812 --> 00:59:06,380
in this bullshit
and you'd see it
1470
00:59:06,414 --> 00:59:08,616
if you weren't busy
slutting around with him.
1471
00:59:08,649 --> 00:59:11,352
You're so jealous of him,
it's pathetic.
1472
00:59:11,385 --> 00:59:12,720
(Jake sighs)
1473
00:59:12,753 --> 00:59:13,587
I quit.
1474
00:59:15,089 --> 00:59:18,025
(soft synth music)
1475
00:59:20,928 --> 00:59:23,364
(door slams)
1476
00:59:24,331 --> 00:59:27,234
(soft piano music)
1477
00:59:29,670 --> 00:59:30,871
[Luke]
But it's up to you.
1478
00:59:30,905 --> 00:59:32,706
The choice is ultimately yours.
1479
00:59:32,740 --> 00:59:33,974
What's it gonna be, Isabelle?
1480
00:59:34,008 --> 00:59:36,243
Your phone, or your vanity?
1481
00:59:37,078 --> 00:59:39,847
(clock ticking)
1482
00:59:44,251 --> 00:59:45,386
What's it going to be Isabelle?
1483
00:59:45,419 --> 00:59:47,922
Your phone, or your vanity?
1484
00:59:47,955 --> 00:59:49,590
(clock ticking)
1485
00:59:49,623 --> 00:59:54,628
- (audience cheering)
- (clapping)
1486
00:59:58,432 --> 01:00:01,202
(soft, melancholy music)
1487
01:00:01,235 --> 01:00:02,069
Who am I?
1488
01:00:07,374 --> 01:00:08,543
I'm worthless.
1489
01:00:13,614 --> 01:00:14,782
I hate myself.
1490
01:00:19,320 --> 01:00:20,621
I'm No One Special.
1491
01:00:22,790 --> 01:00:25,226
(soft music)
1492
01:00:35,736 --> 01:00:36,571
Cut.
1493
01:00:38,472 --> 01:00:39,807
That was great.
1494
01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:41,442
(slaps)
1495
01:00:41,475 --> 01:00:42,710
- We got it.
- All right, well done.
1496
01:00:42,743 --> 01:00:43,578
Good work guys.
1497
01:00:43,612 --> 01:00:45,079
Oh, thank you.
1498
01:00:45,112 --> 01:00:46,914
Uh, you guys can pack up
and head home.
1499
01:00:46,947 --> 01:00:48,550
Thank you for a great day.
1500
01:00:48,583 --> 01:00:50,484
Hey, yo, guys we got
the No One Special hats,
1501
01:00:50,519 --> 01:00:52,587
the t-shirts,
and the baseball caps came in,
1502
01:00:52,621 --> 01:00:54,589
so Mark has one for each of you,
1503
01:00:54,623 --> 01:00:55,990
and take some for the family,
for the friends, and all that.
1504
01:00:56,023 --> 01:00:57,124
We love you guys.
1505
01:00:57,158 --> 01:00:58,726
And great work. Thank you.
1506
01:00:58,759 --> 01:01:01,996
Okay, you think you can
get that up by tomorrow?
1507
01:01:02,029 --> 01:01:03,063
Yeah.
1508
01:01:03,097 --> 01:01:04,131
I can edit it tonight.
1509
01:01:04,165 --> 01:01:06,568
Mhm.
1510
01:01:06,601 --> 01:01:08,269
That's gonna work.
1511
01:01:08,302 --> 01:01:09,737
Hashtag real me,
we're gonna get the views back,
1512
01:01:09,770 --> 01:01:11,772
and what you did
with that Isabelle video
1513
01:01:11,805 --> 01:01:13,407
and you cut around
all of her crying.
1514
01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:15,943
It was, it's just like,
you're like a wizard.
1515
01:01:15,976 --> 01:01:17,811
It was just like mwah.
1516
01:01:17,845 --> 01:01:19,480
It was just perfection.
1517
01:01:19,514 --> 01:01:21,583
It's like so fuckin' tight.
1518
01:01:21,616 --> 01:01:22,716
That's too much, right?
1519
01:01:23,652 --> 01:01:25,186
Yeah, it's too much.
1520
01:01:25,219 --> 01:01:26,053
Right?
1521
01:01:27,855 --> 01:01:29,624
You thinking about Jake?
1522
01:01:29,658 --> 01:01:30,958
Yeah, a little.
1523
01:01:30,991 --> 01:01:32,393
Yeah, well...
1524
01:01:34,461 --> 01:01:35,729
It was grow or die,
1525
01:01:37,798 --> 01:01:39,133
and he was holding us back.
1526
01:01:41,068 --> 01:01:42,970
And this is just feeling
so right.
1527
01:01:43,003 --> 01:01:45,806
Can you feel it?
Like we're about to go stratospheric.
1528
01:01:47,642 --> 01:01:49,109
(tense synth music)
1529
01:01:49,143 --> 01:01:50,512
Looking good, looking good.
1530
01:01:50,545 --> 01:01:51,946
All right.
1531
01:01:51,979 --> 01:01:53,180
See right there. We got Desmond.
1532
01:01:53,214 --> 01:01:54,982
He's amazing.
1533
01:01:55,015 --> 01:01:56,618
New York Times
just did a huge profile on him.
1534
01:01:56,651 --> 01:01:58,319
We got Rola right over there.
1535
01:01:58,352 --> 01:01:59,820
Does a bit of everything:
1536
01:01:59,853 --> 01:02:02,524
fashion, movies,
food trendsetter.
1537
01:02:02,557 --> 01:02:06,126
Single handily brought back
cauliflower this year.
1538
01:02:06,160 --> 01:02:07,629
That's Jake Paul, blonde.
1539
01:02:07,662 --> 01:02:10,665
He's 5.8 billion views
on YouTube.
1540
01:02:10,699 --> 01:02:11,498
- Mhm.
- You know the story.
1541
01:02:11,533 --> 01:02:12,967
Mhm.
1542
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:14,134
Patrick Starr, right there,
far left.
1543
01:02:14,168 --> 01:02:16,136
Makeup tutorial. Great.
1544
01:02:16,170 --> 01:02:17,004
Who's that?
1545
01:02:17,037 --> 01:02:18,239
The other blonde.
1546
01:02:18,272 --> 01:02:19,807
Oh, the dirty blonde.
1547
01:02:19,840 --> 01:02:21,242
That's Lana.
1548
01:02:21,275 --> 01:02:23,244
She's fuckin',
a huge powerhouse.
1549
01:02:23,277 --> 01:02:25,913
She does these makeup tutorials
for Christians,
1550
01:02:25,946 --> 01:02:29,083
look fresh for Jesus,
made $200 million last year.
1551
01:02:29,116 --> 01:02:30,484
It's fuckin' huge.
1552
01:02:30,518 --> 01:02:31,686
- Look at that.
- That's amazing.
1553
01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:33,354
I've never seen that.
1554
01:02:33,387 --> 01:02:34,989
- That's a selfie train.
- Greetings, fellas.
1555
01:02:35,022 --> 01:02:36,591
No One Special.
1556
01:02:36,625 --> 01:02:38,058
A childhood icon.
1557
01:02:38,092 --> 01:02:39,661
I used to be obsessed with you.
1558
01:02:39,694 --> 01:02:40,995
Big fan.
1559
01:02:41,028 --> 01:02:42,396
- Yeah, 10 years ago.
- Crazy.
1560
01:02:42,429 --> 01:02:43,230
- Nice to meet you.
- 12 years ago.
1561
01:02:43,264 --> 01:02:44,431
(laughs)
1562
01:02:44,465 --> 01:02:45,332
How are we doing? Are we set?
1563
01:02:45,366 --> 01:02:47,001
I'm set, you set?
1564
01:02:47,034 --> 01:02:48,435
Oh man, you really shot
the moon with that suit.
1565
01:02:48,469 --> 01:02:49,937
You look hotter
than a five dollar Rolex.
1566
01:02:49,970 --> 01:02:51,506
- Let's do this.
- (Link laughs)
1567
01:02:51,539 --> 01:02:52,674
- Let's do it, let's do it.
- Showtime.
1568
01:02:52,707 --> 01:02:54,074
That's great. That's great.
1569
01:02:57,545 --> 01:02:59,046
Okay, show people.
1570
01:02:59,079 --> 01:03:00,682
I want us to have fun,
but just know
1571
01:03:00,715 --> 01:03:02,783
we're live streaming this
so no swearing,
1572
01:03:02,816 --> 01:03:04,318
especially you, Desmond.
1573
01:03:05,452 --> 01:03:07,821
And we're gonna go live
right over here.
1574
01:03:08,789 --> 01:03:10,257
All right.
1575
01:03:10,291 --> 01:03:12,092
Welcome back
to the Ted Wick show.
1576
01:03:12,126 --> 01:03:14,094
That's me.
1577
01:03:14,128 --> 01:03:15,829
I am right here with some of
your favorite influencers,
1578
01:03:16,731 --> 01:03:19,433
and right now
we have the big guy.
1579
01:03:19,466 --> 01:03:20,568
No One Special.
1580
01:03:21,468 --> 01:03:24,038
I gotta say, man, I think you
and the work you do
1581
01:03:24,071 --> 01:03:25,072
is super interesting.
1582
01:03:25,105 --> 01:03:26,073
Thanks for being with us.
1583
01:03:26,106 --> 01:03:27,241
No, thank you, Ted.
1584
01:03:27,274 --> 01:03:28,976
I'm very, very happy to be here.
1585
01:03:29,009 --> 01:03:30,745
The common thread
throughout most of your videos
1586
01:03:30,779 --> 01:03:33,213
seems to be a comment
on the viewer's isolation,
1587
01:03:33,247 --> 01:03:36,785
their over dependency
on social media, the internet,
1588
01:03:36,817 --> 01:03:39,386
yet your growing popularity
is derived
1589
01:03:39,420 --> 01:03:43,123
from your disdain,
from the very thing making you popular.
1590
01:03:43,157 --> 01:03:44,325
Ka-pow.
1591
01:03:44,358 --> 01:03:45,826
That's crazy, Ted.
1592
01:03:45,859 --> 01:03:47,662
That's really insightful.
Thank you.
1593
01:03:47,696 --> 01:03:50,331
And your biggest success
to date is kind of a game show
1594
01:03:50,364 --> 01:03:52,634
where you demonstrate
the viewers addiction
1595
01:03:52,667 --> 01:03:54,835
to their cell phones.
1596
01:03:54,868 --> 01:03:58,405
Your success directly contradicts
your message, does it not?
1597
01:03:58,439 --> 01:04:00,709
Sorry, uh, sorry, everybody,
I just,
1598
01:04:02,343 --> 01:04:03,812
are you saying I'm a sellout,
Ted?
1599
01:04:03,844 --> 01:04:04,978
I'm not saying anything.
1600
01:04:05,012 --> 01:04:07,147
I'm merely asking the questions.
1601
01:04:07,181 --> 01:04:08,282
All right, good.
1602
01:04:08,315 --> 01:04:09,917
Good, great.
1603
01:04:09,950 --> 01:04:12,186
See I think that you
insult the viewers.
1604
01:04:12,219 --> 01:04:16,758
You tell them that they're
stupid for watching us.
1605
01:04:16,791 --> 01:04:20,127
Wait, are you the person
that tells 10-year-old girls
1606
01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:21,929
to look sexy for Jesus?
1607
01:04:21,962 --> 01:04:24,833
No. I don't tell them
how to look sexy for Jesus.
1608
01:04:24,865 --> 01:04:26,467
Can you tell me
the passage in the Bible
1609
01:04:26,500 --> 01:04:28,035
where they talk
about contouring?
1610
01:04:28,068 --> 01:04:29,503
What, what is that?
1611
01:04:29,537 --> 01:04:31,004
Is that Corinthians?
Is that Genesis?
1612
01:04:31,038 --> 01:04:33,040
As a matter of fact, in Genesis,
1613
01:04:33,073 --> 01:04:37,846
God commands us to take care
of all his creations,
1614
01:04:37,878 --> 01:04:39,880
and that includes ourselves.
1615
01:04:39,913 --> 01:04:41,982
So God is basically saying
cover up
1616
01:04:42,015 --> 01:04:43,852
all of your so-called flaws?
1617
01:04:43,884 --> 01:04:45,553
I need a root beer.
1618
01:04:45,587 --> 01:04:46,621
She needs a root beer.
1619
01:04:46,654 --> 01:04:48,556
Okay. There goes Desmond.
1620
01:04:48,590 --> 01:04:49,990
I'm out. Goodbye.
1621
01:04:50,023 --> 01:04:51,058
God, I love that Desmond.
1622
01:04:51,091 --> 01:04:52,527
All right.
1623
01:04:52,560 --> 01:04:54,895
I got to say,
what I do love about you
1624
01:04:54,928 --> 01:04:57,464
is how you work
to empower people.
1625
01:04:57,498 --> 01:05:00,535
Now, here is a recent clip
of your online game show.
1626
01:05:00,568 --> 01:05:01,669
What's your secret, Isabelle,
1627
01:05:01,703 --> 01:05:03,203
for looking so damn fresh?
1628
01:05:04,037 --> 01:05:06,473
I drink a lot of water, I guess?
1629
01:05:06,508 --> 01:05:08,242
Ah, Isabelle.
1630
01:05:08,275 --> 01:05:10,244
The choice is ultimately yours.
So what's it gonna be?
1631
01:05:10,277 --> 01:05:12,680
Is it gonna be your phone,
or your vanity?
1632
01:05:12,714 --> 01:05:15,983
(clock ticking)
1633
01:05:16,016 --> 01:05:17,652
- (audience cheering)
- (clapping)
1634
01:05:17,685 --> 01:05:19,253
Wow.
1635
01:05:19,286 --> 01:05:20,755
Look at that young lady,
she looks so happy.
1636
01:05:20,789 --> 01:05:24,826
And now here is
the same clip unedited.
1637
01:05:24,859 --> 01:05:26,393
It's just been sent to us
1638
01:05:26,427 --> 01:05:29,831
and it kind of tells
a different story.
1639
01:05:29,864 --> 01:05:31,398
Did you know about this?
1640
01:05:31,432 --> 01:05:32,266
I don't know.
1641
01:05:33,467 --> 01:05:34,501
- (Isabelle sobbing)
- Stop crying.
1642
01:05:34,536 --> 01:05:36,437
Stop crying right now.
1643
01:05:36,470 --> 01:05:41,041
That's all you must do to
lead the revolution, Isabelle.
1644
01:05:41,074 --> 01:05:45,446
-(audience cheering)
1645
01:05:45,479 --> 01:05:47,080
Making young girls cry.
1646
01:05:47,114 --> 01:05:49,416
Doesn't that go against
everything you stand for?
1647
01:05:49,450 --> 01:05:51,018
(Link sighs)
1648
01:05:51,051 --> 01:05:52,554
Wow, that's good.
That's very good, Ted.
1649
01:05:52,587 --> 01:05:53,721
That's not supposed to
be out there.
1650
01:05:53,755 --> 01:05:55,723
We, we cut that out of the show.
1651
01:05:55,757 --> 01:05:58,225
That poor girl.
What's wrong with you?
1652
01:05:58,258 --> 01:06:00,260
Patrick,
spare me your faux outrage,
1653
01:06:00,294 --> 01:06:01,863
just for a second, okay?
1654
01:06:01,896 --> 01:06:03,363
That was an outtake
and we took it out.
1655
01:06:03,397 --> 01:06:05,065
Because you humiliated her.
1656
01:06:05,098 --> 01:06:07,067
It's out of context.
1657
01:06:07,100 --> 01:06:09,236
People take seconds at a time
and try to judge you for that.
1658
01:06:09,269 --> 01:06:10,370
- Exactly.
- Only that.
1659
01:06:10,404 --> 01:06:12,574
But now what you're doing,
1660
01:06:12,607 --> 01:06:14,408
you're humiliating a girl in
public, so who's the hypocrite?
1661
01:06:14,441 --> 01:06:15,577
- I didn't leak that clip.
- Fake news.
1662
01:06:15,610 --> 01:06:17,110
It's all over the internet.
1663
01:06:17,144 --> 01:06:18,979
You know who made
that girl cry, Ted?
1664
01:06:19,012 --> 01:06:20,280
Not me.
1665
01:06:20,314 --> 01:06:21,783
- It was Lana.
- Excuse me?
1666
01:06:21,816 --> 01:06:22,983
Lana made that girl cry.
1667
01:06:23,016 --> 01:06:24,819
- Lana, Lana-
- Oh, me?
1668
01:06:24,853 --> 01:06:27,154
Lana is spreading toxic waste
into the culture, Ted.
1669
01:06:27,187 --> 01:06:28,723
She is poisoning.
1670
01:06:28,756 --> 01:06:30,625
You are, I'm sorry, baby,
but you are.
1671
01:06:30,658 --> 01:06:32,760
You're poisoning the minds
and the souls and the hearts
1672
01:06:32,794 --> 01:06:34,729
of young girls
throughout the country,
1673
01:06:34,762 --> 01:06:36,798
and you are making them
soul sick
1674
01:06:36,831 --> 01:06:40,300
because you are telling them
subliminally and insidiously
1675
01:06:40,334 --> 01:06:41,936
that they are not enough
as they are,
1676
01:06:41,970 --> 01:06:43,571
that they are not acceptable
as they are.
1677
01:06:43,605 --> 01:06:45,405
That if you don't look
like a Kardashian,
1678
01:06:45,439 --> 01:06:46,975
then you're nothing.
1679
01:06:47,007 --> 01:06:48,442
That's the message
you're giving, Lana.
1680
01:06:48,475 --> 01:06:50,177
And let me tell you
something else
1681
01:06:50,210 --> 01:06:51,178
about Jesus said,
a prophet will not be accepted
1682
01:06:51,211 --> 01:06:52,914
in his hometown.
1683
01:06:52,947 --> 01:06:54,147
What?
1684
01:06:54,181 --> 01:06:55,482
Oh, come on, get off the cross.
1685
01:06:55,517 --> 01:06:56,951
We need the wood.
1686
01:06:56,985 --> 01:07:00,755
That poor, poor, poor,
poor girl.
1687
01:07:00,788 --> 01:07:02,122
How many poor's was that?
1688
01:07:03,825 --> 01:07:05,092
Look, she still asked
for my number
1689
01:07:05,125 --> 01:07:05,960
at the end of the show.
1690
01:07:05,994 --> 01:07:07,461
Meaning what?
1691
01:07:07,494 --> 01:07:09,096
Meaning she couldn't have been
that sad
1692
01:07:09,129 --> 01:07:10,798
because she was still
trying to fuck me.
1693
01:07:10,832 --> 01:07:12,634
- (Jake chuckles)
- Oh my goodness.
1694
01:07:12,667 --> 01:07:14,101
Oh shit, this man.
1695
01:07:14,134 --> 01:07:15,269
Why would you even
bring that up?
1696
01:07:15,302 --> 01:07:16,604
- Okay.
- You're sick.
1697
01:07:16,638 --> 01:07:18,171
Mr. Special, can I remind you,
1698
01:07:18,205 --> 01:07:20,107
we are live
and there are children watching.
1699
01:07:20,140 --> 01:07:21,543
Amen.
1700
01:07:21,576 --> 01:07:22,677
I bring it up, Lana,
because it's all
1701
01:07:22,710 --> 01:07:24,144
part of the same sickness.
1702
01:07:24,177 --> 01:07:26,346
If you bag a night
with a celebrity,
1703
01:07:26,380 --> 01:07:28,048
it's just another way of trying
to prove that you're worthy.
1704
01:07:28,081 --> 01:07:29,817
She should know she is worthy.
1705
01:07:29,851 --> 01:07:31,019
She shouldn't need to prove it.
1706
01:07:31,051 --> 01:07:32,452
That's not a life.
1707
01:07:32,486 --> 01:07:33,655
That's not a life worth living.
1708
01:07:33,688 --> 01:07:35,023
- This...
- This dude.
1709
01:07:36,089 --> 01:07:38,526
Why don't we talk
about your background?
1710
01:07:38,560 --> 01:07:40,494
We tried doing
a little research on you
1711
01:07:40,528 --> 01:07:42,797
before you came on the show
and we couldn't find anything.
1712
01:07:42,830 --> 01:07:43,965
I know what this is.
1713
01:07:43,998 --> 01:07:45,165
Where'd you grow up?
1714
01:07:45,198 --> 01:07:46,968
This is the point of the show
1715
01:07:47,001 --> 01:07:49,469
where you are trying
to resuscitate your career.
1716
01:07:49,503 --> 01:07:51,471
Ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca.
1717
01:07:51,506 --> 01:07:52,406
- Ca!
- Take it down a notch.
1718
01:07:52,439 --> 01:07:53,908
Did I hit a nerve?
1719
01:07:53,942 --> 01:07:55,610
You want to know who I am, Ted?
1720
01:07:58,378 --> 01:07:59,714
You wanna know the real me?
1721
01:08:02,382 --> 01:08:07,589
I eat, I shit, and I'll die
like everybody else.
1722
01:08:07,622 --> 01:08:09,057
You want me to shit, Ted?
1723
01:08:09,089 --> 01:08:10,658
- I'll shit for you, Ted.
- Profanity.
1724
01:08:10,692 --> 01:08:12,426
Want to see the real me?
1725
01:08:12,459 --> 01:08:13,928
- You wanna see me shit Ted?
- (influencers exclaiming)
1726
01:08:13,962 --> 01:08:15,530
'Cause I'll, you know,
I'll, I'll shit.
1727
01:08:15,563 --> 01:08:17,932
- Oh yeah, right.
- This is what happens, kids,
1728
01:08:17,966 --> 01:08:22,169
when you try to attack
the system.
1729
01:08:22,202 --> 01:08:25,006
The system will try
to attack you
1730
01:08:25,039 --> 01:08:28,543
and the only way
to beat the system
1731
01:08:28,576 --> 01:08:33,280
is to take a big, fat, shit
on it.
1732
01:08:33,313 --> 01:08:34,916
- Oh my...
- Security.
1733
01:08:34,949 --> 01:08:35,783
Woo!
1734
01:08:37,417 --> 01:08:38,251
Woo!
1735
01:08:39,787 --> 01:08:40,622
Ya-hoo!
1736
01:08:42,557 --> 01:08:43,591
You want a taste, honey?
1737
01:08:43,625 --> 01:08:45,627
Whoa, hey, hey.
1738
01:08:45,660 --> 01:08:46,928
Mark, get 'em Mark!
1739
01:08:47,762 --> 01:08:48,696
What's everyone afraid of?
1740
01:08:48,730 --> 01:08:50,263
It's just play-do.
1741
01:08:50,297 --> 01:08:52,967
(Link grunts)
1742
01:08:53,001 --> 01:08:54,969
(grunting)
1743
01:08:55,003 --> 01:08:56,738
Come and get me.
1744
01:08:56,771 --> 01:08:57,772
Come and get me, come and get
me, come and get me.
1745
01:08:57,805 --> 01:08:58,673
No, no, no, Mark!
1746
01:08:59,774 --> 01:09:00,942
Don't touch him.
1747
01:09:00,975 --> 01:09:02,142
I'll find someone to sue you!
1748
01:09:02,175 --> 01:09:03,945
This is a fight for your life!
1749
01:09:03,978 --> 01:09:05,613
This is the fight for your life!
1750
01:09:05,647 --> 01:09:07,381
Don't watch anything.
1751
01:09:07,414 --> 01:09:08,783
Don't view anything.
1752
01:09:08,816 --> 01:09:10,417
Don't like anything.
1753
01:09:10,450 --> 01:09:11,886
Don't click anything.
1754
01:09:11,919 --> 01:09:13,888
Don't let them turn you
into zombies.
1755
01:09:13,921 --> 01:09:15,657
They're trying to kill you,
unplug-
1756
01:09:16,791 --> 01:09:18,893
(tense synth music)
1757
01:09:18,926 --> 01:09:20,260
Go, go, go, go,
drive, drive, drive.
1758
01:09:20,293 --> 01:09:21,461
- Drive, drive!
- Go, go, go, go!
1759
01:09:21,495 --> 01:09:23,430
- Woo!
- You are crazy!
1760
01:09:29,037 --> 01:09:29,871
Are you okay?
1761
01:09:31,506 --> 01:09:33,473
(Frankie gasps)
1762
01:09:33,508 --> 01:09:35,076
Hey.
1763
01:09:35,109 --> 01:09:36,844
I gotta be at this thing.
1764
01:09:36,878 --> 01:09:38,079
What is it?
1765
01:09:38,112 --> 01:09:39,147
Oh, it's just some pool party
1766
01:09:39,179 --> 01:09:40,648
Mark wants me to go to.
1767
01:09:40,682 --> 01:09:42,449
You would hate it.
You wanna come?
1768
01:09:42,482 --> 01:09:43,316
Okay.
1769
01:09:49,322 --> 01:09:51,324
- (phone buzzes)
- All right, that's my ride.
1770
01:09:51,358 --> 01:09:52,160
I gotta go.
1771
01:09:53,628 --> 01:09:54,461
Hey.
1772
01:09:56,798 --> 01:09:57,632
Always us.
1773
01:10:01,169 --> 01:10:03,671
(door closes)
1774
01:10:08,710 --> 01:10:13,715
♪ Greasy train wheels squeal
like crying children ♪
1775
01:10:14,816 --> 01:10:18,886
♪ Oh yes, they shriek
like moaning lovers ♪
1776
01:10:18,920 --> 01:10:20,888
♪ Whoa whoa whoa oh ♪
1777
01:10:20,922 --> 01:10:25,760
♪ Greasy train wheels squeak
like crying children ♪
1778
01:10:27,061 --> 01:10:31,132
♪ Oh yes they shriek
like moaning lovers ♪
1779
01:10:31,165 --> 01:10:33,400
♪ Whoa whoa whoa oh ♪
1780
01:10:33,433 --> 01:10:38,438
♪ All the love is flowing
from my heart ♪
1781
01:10:39,607 --> 01:10:44,377
♪ All the love is flowing
from my heart ♪
1782
01:10:49,016 --> 01:10:50,317
Thank you.
1783
01:10:50,350 --> 01:10:52,587
(clapping)
1784
01:10:54,454 --> 01:10:57,257
(soft jazz music)
1785
01:10:59,127 --> 01:10:59,961
Hey.
1786
01:11:00,928 --> 01:11:02,362
Hi.
1787
01:11:02,395 --> 01:11:03,865
Is that your song?
1788
01:11:03,898 --> 01:11:04,732
Yeah.
1789
01:11:05,967 --> 01:11:07,434
It's beautiful.
1790
01:11:07,467 --> 01:11:08,435
Thank you.
1791
01:11:09,637 --> 01:11:10,470
I'm sorry.
1792
01:11:11,973 --> 01:11:12,874
I'm sorry, too.
1793
01:11:15,475 --> 01:11:16,778
I really need your help.
1794
01:11:18,546 --> 01:11:20,748
It's all falling apart
and I need you to come back
1795
01:11:20,782 --> 01:11:22,282
so I can put it back together.
1796
01:11:23,651 --> 01:11:25,253
I want to go back
to the way things were.
1797
01:11:25,285 --> 01:11:27,588
I want to incorporate
more of your ideas.
1798
01:11:27,622 --> 01:11:28,455
I can't.
1799
01:11:29,489 --> 01:11:32,325
(soft jazz music)
1800
01:11:40,234 --> 01:11:42,970
Was it you that leaked
the footage of Isabelle?
1801
01:11:43,004 --> 01:11:44,272
Wow, really?
1802
01:11:45,173 --> 01:11:46,707
Is that why you came back here?
1803
01:11:46,741 --> 01:11:48,276
To see if I leaked
the fucking video?
1804
01:11:48,308 --> 01:11:49,544
You think I want to subject
that girl
1805
01:11:49,577 --> 01:11:50,711
to even more humiliation?
1806
01:11:50,745 --> 01:11:51,846
Who do you think I am?
1807
01:11:54,782 --> 01:11:55,917
He's full of shit.
1808
01:11:58,286 --> 01:11:59,287
Link?
1809
01:11:59,319 --> 01:12:00,922
That's not even his name.
1810
01:12:00,955 --> 01:12:02,723
He's not who he says he is.
1811
01:12:02,757 --> 01:12:04,391
I spoke to his brother.
1812
01:12:04,424 --> 01:12:05,960
He was the one yelling at him
in the graveyard.
1813
01:12:06,861 --> 01:12:08,461
He's a rich kid.
1814
01:12:08,495 --> 01:12:10,998
Really. His parents are alive.
1815
01:12:11,032 --> 01:12:12,332
Link's parents died.
1816
01:12:12,365 --> 01:12:13,201
No.
1817
01:12:15,335 --> 01:12:16,838
His brother tracked us down.
1818
01:12:17,805 --> 01:12:18,673
Here.
1819
01:12:18,706 --> 01:12:20,274
Read this.
1820
01:12:20,308 --> 01:12:21,309
Okay?
1821
01:12:21,341 --> 01:12:23,244
There's a lot in here.
1822
01:12:23,277 --> 01:12:24,444
He burned down his school.
He's been institutionalized.
1823
01:12:24,477 --> 01:12:26,413
The family is covering it up.
1824
01:12:26,446 --> 01:12:28,516
You can call me jealous,
you can call me pathetic,
1825
01:12:28,549 --> 01:12:30,151
but I am telling you
he is a liar
1826
01:12:30,184 --> 01:12:31,719
and you need to open your eyes.
1827
01:12:36,657 --> 01:12:39,160
Why would you do this?
1828
01:12:39,193 --> 01:12:40,862
Because I'm in love with you.
1829
01:12:43,331 --> 01:12:44,932
And I've always been in love
with you,
1830
01:12:44,966 --> 01:12:46,399
and I know that doesn't
even matter, but I am.
1831
01:12:49,502 --> 01:12:52,340
(soft jazz music)
1832
01:12:53,373 --> 01:12:54,208
I'm sorry.
1833
01:13:08,155 --> 01:13:10,658
(tense music)
1834
01:13:17,732 --> 01:13:18,733
(Link laughs)
1835
01:13:18,766 --> 01:13:20,334
What do you call that?
1836
01:13:20,368 --> 01:13:21,369
Trust me,
I'm gonna get you out of here.
1837
01:13:21,401 --> 01:13:22,370
You gotta kick the habit.
1838
01:13:22,402 --> 01:13:23,871
Do you eat peanuts?
1839
01:13:23,905 --> 01:13:25,506
There's a lot of peanuts
in Thai food.
1840
01:13:25,539 --> 01:13:26,374
All right,
intimacy levels are too high.
1841
01:13:26,406 --> 01:13:27,341
Abort mission.
1842
01:13:27,375 --> 01:13:28,743
Why'd you do that?
1843
01:13:28,776 --> 01:13:29,977
It's beautiful,
it's a part of you.
1844
01:13:30,011 --> 01:13:30,845
You gotta be dumb to be smart.
1845
01:13:30,878 --> 01:13:31,846
(tires squeal)
1846
01:13:31,879 --> 01:13:33,147
(crashing)
1847
01:13:33,180 --> 01:13:34,582
Shit!
1848
01:13:36,350 --> 01:13:38,552
(Frankie winces)
1849
01:13:38,586 --> 01:13:40,388
(door unlocks)
1850
01:13:40,420 --> 01:13:41,555
Hey Frankie.
1851
01:13:41,589 --> 01:13:43,024
Hey Frankie.
1852
01:13:43,057 --> 01:13:44,491
Hey Frankie.
1853
01:13:44,525 --> 01:13:45,526
Hey Frankie.
1854
01:13:46,861 --> 01:13:47,862
Are you okay?
1855
01:13:47,895 --> 01:13:49,230
I'm fine.
1856
01:13:49,263 --> 01:13:50,564
- I just cut my hand.
- Oh, shit.
1857
01:13:50,598 --> 01:13:51,832
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- No, no, no.
1858
01:13:51,866 --> 01:13:53,234
- Can I see?
- Yeah, yeah.
1859
01:13:53,267 --> 01:13:55,903
- (Link winces)
- Ow.
1860
01:13:55,937 --> 01:13:57,171
I'm sorry.
1861
01:13:57,204 --> 01:13:58,272
- It's okay.
- That sucks.
1862
01:13:58,306 --> 01:13:59,407
Okay, keep pressure on it.
1863
01:14:00,541 --> 01:14:01,943
I'll get you something.
1864
01:14:01,976 --> 01:14:04,879
Uh, let's see
what we got in here.
1865
01:14:04,912 --> 01:14:07,048
We're gonna fix you up.
1866
01:14:07,081 --> 01:14:08,950
Here, this is going to be nice.
1867
01:14:08,983 --> 01:14:09,784
Let me see.
1868
01:14:12,485 --> 01:14:13,321
Aww.
1869
01:14:19,060 --> 01:14:21,796
I wanted to tell you
I got this kind of big news
1870
01:14:22,797 --> 01:14:25,333
and I didn't want to share
with anybody but you.
1871
01:14:29,236 --> 01:14:30,972
What is it?
1872
01:14:31,005 --> 01:14:33,341
They want me to headline
a live stream event for YouTube.
1873
01:14:35,977 --> 01:14:38,145
(laughing)
1874
01:14:38,179 --> 01:14:43,084
And I just realized that I got
nothing to say without you.
1875
01:14:43,117 --> 01:14:45,152
It scares me.
1876
01:14:45,186 --> 01:14:47,822
I've never felt this way about
another human being before.
1877
01:14:52,960 --> 01:14:55,629
(heart beating)
1878
01:14:57,497 --> 01:15:02,502
- (heart beating)
- (soft synth music)
1879
01:15:17,351 --> 01:15:22,356
♪ You've gotta wonder
what the story means ♪
1880
01:15:26,994 --> 01:15:31,999
♪ It's under all of us,
it goes unseen ♪
1881
01:15:33,501 --> 01:15:35,369
♪ You've given your purpose ♪
1882
01:15:35,403 --> 01:15:38,639
♪ Now they've taken your dream ♪
1883
01:15:38,672 --> 01:15:43,110
♪ But you can't hide
behind the two extremes ♪
1884
01:15:43,144 --> 01:15:47,314
♪ Your weight in the world ♪
1885
01:15:47,348 --> 01:15:48,816
I could definitely do it.
1886
01:15:48,849 --> 01:15:51,085
Yeah, it's very easy to do.
1887
01:15:52,553 --> 01:15:53,888
What the fuck?
1888
01:15:55,990 --> 01:15:57,191
It's crazy.
1889
01:15:57,224 --> 01:15:59,126
It's crazy.
1890
01:15:59,160 --> 01:16:01,028
Imagine this place
full of people?
1891
01:16:01,062 --> 01:16:02,663
A couple hundred
lucky ticket holders,
1892
01:16:02,696 --> 01:16:04,698
an estimated
five million watching live.
1893
01:16:04,732 --> 01:16:07,368
- Around the world!
- Around the world!
1894
01:16:08,602 --> 01:16:10,171
Crazy.
1895
01:16:10,204 --> 01:16:11,572
And Mark thinks
I can fly in from the back.
1896
01:16:11,605 --> 01:16:12,840
Why?
1897
01:16:12,873 --> 01:16:15,176
Spectacle is why. Look at this.
1898
01:16:15,209 --> 01:16:17,945
But we haven't even figured out
what we're gonna say?
1899
01:16:19,914 --> 01:16:21,849
Maybe we'll figure that out
later.
1900
01:16:21,882 --> 01:16:23,518
And you're even gonna hear 'em
over the screaming anyway.
1901
01:16:23,552 --> 01:16:24,553
Let me show you something.
1902
01:16:24,585 --> 01:16:25,986
Hm?
1903
01:16:26,020 --> 01:16:26,687
You guys wanna see
something crazy?
1904
01:16:26,720 --> 01:16:28,155
Sure.
1905
01:16:28,189 --> 01:16:30,724
This right here,
this is a trap door.
1906
01:16:30,758 --> 01:16:31,859
Whoa!
1907
01:16:31,892 --> 01:16:32,726
Oh!
1908
01:16:34,061 --> 01:16:37,064
(tense synth music)
1909
01:16:50,244 --> 01:16:52,113
Roberts faced heavy trolling
1910
01:16:52,146 --> 01:16:54,348
on social media after a clip
surfaced of the game show.
1911
01:16:54,381 --> 01:16:57,552
Mr. Special defended his actions
at a round table discussion
1912
01:16:57,586 --> 01:17:00,955
where he accused Ms. Roberts
of trying to seduce him.
1913
01:17:00,988 --> 01:17:02,623
She couldn't have been that sad
1914
01:17:02,656 --> 01:17:04,526
because she was still
trying (bleep).
1915
01:17:04,559 --> 01:17:06,727
If you bag a night
with a celebrity,
1916
01:17:06,760 --> 01:17:09,029
it's just another way of trying
to prove that you're worthy.
1917
01:17:09,063 --> 01:17:11,799
She shouldn't need to prove it.
That's not a life.
1918
01:17:11,832 --> 01:17:13,901
That's not a life worth living.
1919
01:17:13,934 --> 01:17:15,537
Early reports suggest
1920
01:17:15,570 --> 01:17:17,371
she hanged herself
in her bedroom closet.
1921
01:17:17,404 --> 01:17:20,975
A coroner at the scene
says he does not believe...
1922
01:17:21,008 --> 01:17:24,845
(tense, dramatic synth music)
1923
01:18:34,415 --> 01:18:39,019
- (barfing)
- (clattering)
1924
01:18:42,856 --> 01:18:44,925
(coughs)
1925
01:18:47,995 --> 01:18:49,496
- (water running)
- (bubbling)
1926
01:18:49,531 --> 01:18:51,332
Mark.
1927
01:18:51,365 --> 01:18:52,567
Mark.
1928
01:18:53,767 --> 01:18:54,735
Have you seen this?
1929
01:18:54,768 --> 01:18:55,803
Everybody hates me.
1930
01:18:55,836 --> 01:18:57,171
Everyone's blaming me.
1931
01:18:57,204 --> 01:18:59,940
It says
No One Special's canceled.
1932
01:19:01,108 --> 01:19:02,343
This asshole
needs to burn in hell.
1933
01:19:02,376 --> 01:19:04,011
How are we going to fix it?
1934
01:19:04,044 --> 01:19:06,747
You told her
her life wasn't worth living.
1935
01:19:06,780 --> 01:19:08,583
I didn't ask her
to kill herself.
1936
01:19:10,685 --> 01:19:11,885
Are you blaming me, too?
1937
01:19:12,753 --> 01:19:14,488
Oh, oh, oh.
1938
01:19:14,522 --> 01:19:18,025
Wow, wow, wow, fu...
1939
01:19:18,058 --> 01:19:19,994
A girl is dead
and all you care about
1940
01:19:20,027 --> 01:19:21,795
is what people
are saying about you.
1941
01:19:25,199 --> 01:19:26,800
Jake talked to your brother.
1942
01:19:28,969 --> 01:19:32,741
Have you told me
one single thing that was true?
1943
01:19:43,217 --> 01:19:44,051
I'm sorry.
1944
01:19:47,589 --> 01:19:49,056
I'm sorry I didn't stop you.
1945
01:20:07,107 --> 01:20:10,512
(soft, melancholy music)
1946
01:20:22,624 --> 01:20:27,629
- (sobbing)
- (soft, melancholy music)
1947
01:20:29,163 --> 01:20:32,667
(soft, melancholy music)
1948
01:21:05,667 --> 01:21:09,870
Hey guys, so I read the news
about Link and Isabelle
1949
01:21:09,903 --> 01:21:11,806
and I want to apologize
for even having
1950
01:21:11,840 --> 01:21:13,474
that guy on the show.
1951
01:21:13,508 --> 01:21:14,642
To Isabelle,
my condolences go out to you.
1952
01:21:14,676 --> 01:21:15,943
This makes me so mad.
1953
01:21:15,976 --> 01:21:17,545
This could have been prevented.
1954
01:21:17,579 --> 01:21:19,012
- What's up with this dude?
- You're a joke.
1955
01:21:19,046 --> 01:21:20,381
- This woman is dead...
- Thrown in jail!
1956
01:21:20,414 --> 01:21:22,483
That girl
was just a fuckin' ho...
1957
01:21:22,517 --> 01:21:23,651
- He had very good points.
- Murderer.
1958
01:21:23,685 --> 01:21:25,119
He killed that girl.
1959
01:21:25,152 --> 01:21:26,320
I like
how he tells it how it is.
1960
01:21:26,353 --> 01:21:28,055
This guy is an A-one scumbag.
1961
01:21:28,088 --> 01:21:29,691
I think that No One Special
should be President.
1962
01:21:29,724 --> 01:21:31,626
- I just wanna say-
- Fuck No One Special.
1963
01:21:31,659 --> 01:21:34,729
- You suck.
- We love No One Special.
1964
01:21:35,830 --> 01:21:40,668
- (applause)
- (tense music)
1965
01:22:02,222 --> 01:22:05,727
(dramatic ethereal music)
1966
01:22:27,816 --> 01:22:31,318
(upbeat synth pop music)
1967
01:22:58,513 --> 01:22:59,346
Hey!
1968
01:23:00,682 --> 01:23:05,687
- (phone pinging)
- (upbeat synth pop music)
1969
01:23:06,353 --> 01:23:09,791
(upbeat synth pop music)
1970
01:23:45,627 --> 01:23:50,632
- (audience cheering)
- (synth pop music)
1971
01:24:02,242 --> 01:24:04,812
(audience cheering)
1972
01:24:04,846 --> 01:24:07,782
I want to dedicate this
performance to Isabelle Roberts.
1973
01:24:07,815 --> 01:24:09,817
Isabelle was an amazing girl
1974
01:24:10,985 --> 01:24:14,121
and she passed away tragically
two days ago.
1975
01:24:14,154 --> 01:24:16,290
I want to send out all my love,
1976
01:24:16,323 --> 01:24:20,762
my thoughts, and my prayers
to her family and her friends.
1977
01:24:23,031 --> 01:24:24,364
And I wanna say I'm sorry.
1978
01:24:26,734 --> 01:24:27,569
I'm sorry.
1979
01:24:30,705 --> 01:24:35,710
- (tense music)
- (insects buzzing)
1980
01:24:39,747 --> 01:24:43,851
I've been told that I should
feel some responsibility
1981
01:24:43,885 --> 01:24:45,419
for what happened and...
1982
01:24:46,453 --> 01:24:49,389
But I can't just stand here
and...
1983
01:24:49,423 --> 01:24:50,525
(soft ethereal music)
1984
01:24:50,558 --> 01:24:51,693
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
1985
01:24:51,726 --> 01:24:54,062
That, that part's canceled.
1986
01:24:54,127 --> 01:24:57,097
I can't just stand here
and accept responsibility
1987
01:24:57,130 --> 01:24:59,701
for someone else's choices,
actions,
1988
01:24:59,734 --> 01:25:03,103
and in fact it was you
who pushed her
1989
01:25:03,136 --> 01:25:04,939
over the fucking cliff's edge.
1990
01:25:07,609 --> 01:25:11,311
Yeah, you,
with your gutless trolling.
1991
01:25:12,446 --> 01:25:14,882
You killed her, motherfucker!
1992
01:25:14,916 --> 01:25:16,249
All of you killed her.
1993
01:25:16,283 --> 01:25:17,619
That's the truth.
1994
01:25:17,652 --> 01:25:18,786
And you're trying
to kill me, too,
1995
01:25:18,820 --> 01:25:19,854
and I'm not gonna let it happen.
1996
01:25:19,887 --> 01:25:21,221
No, not today.
1997
01:25:21,254 --> 01:25:22,122
Not ever.
1998
01:25:25,225 --> 01:25:27,562
Easy to talk shit when it's
behind a screen, right?
1999
01:25:27,595 --> 01:25:29,697
What about right now?
I dare you.
2000
01:25:29,731 --> 01:25:31,733
Come through that computer
screen you're hiding behind,
2001
01:25:31,766 --> 01:25:34,802
stand in this room, stand face to
face, do it to my face.
2002
01:25:34,836 --> 01:25:36,604
Anybody in the room, anybody?
2003
01:25:41,341 --> 01:25:43,911
Look, maybe I did push Isabelle too far.
Maybe I did.
2004
01:25:43,945 --> 01:25:47,048
I pushed her too far.
Maybe I was using her for views.
2005
01:25:47,081 --> 01:25:49,751
I'll cop to that,
but I did it for you.
2006
01:25:52,452 --> 01:25:54,889
You see what this shit
is doing to us?
2007
01:25:54,922 --> 01:25:56,557
We're not real to each other
anymore
2008
01:25:56,591 --> 01:25:58,726
and we're all
just using each other.
2009
01:25:58,760 --> 01:26:00,327
This isn't a vi...
2010
01:26:00,360 --> 01:26:01,829
I'm not a video game.
I'm not two dimensional.
2011
01:26:01,863 --> 01:26:04,231
I'm not two-D.
I'm flesh and I'm blood.
2012
01:26:04,264 --> 01:26:06,134
You're all flesh and blood.
2013
01:26:06,166 --> 01:26:07,835
Isabelle was flesh and blood.
2014
01:26:08,670 --> 01:26:10,104
We're all just
fucking killing each other,
2015
01:26:10,138 --> 01:26:11,039
like it's sport.
2016
01:26:14,042 --> 01:26:15,043
We're fucked.
2017
01:26:16,711 --> 01:26:18,079
Oh, you want me to be nice?
2018
01:26:18,112 --> 01:26:19,747
I almost had you, didn't I?
2019
01:26:19,781 --> 01:26:24,018
With the candles
and the choir and the singing.
2020
01:26:25,853 --> 01:26:28,022
That's what we want him to say.
What a good boy.
2021
01:26:28,056 --> 01:26:29,957
He's playing so nice.
2022
01:26:29,991 --> 01:26:31,559
We can let him back in the club.
2023
01:26:32,694 --> 01:26:35,462
Fuck that club!
2024
01:26:35,495 --> 01:26:37,464
I'm trying to wake you up
from that club,
2025
01:26:37,497 --> 01:26:40,200
you numbed out,
dead inside zombies!
2026
01:26:42,302 --> 01:26:43,938
You're all dead!
2027
01:26:43,971 --> 01:26:44,806
You're all numb!
2028
01:26:46,373 --> 01:26:47,809
I'm sorry.
2029
01:26:47,842 --> 01:26:49,544
This is the first time
in my life
2030
01:26:49,577 --> 01:26:51,445
where I felt a part
of something bigger than me,
2031
01:26:51,478 --> 01:26:52,613
something that I don't
want to lose.
2032
01:26:52,647 --> 01:26:53,881
I don't want to lose you,
2033
01:26:55,817 --> 01:26:58,351
but I refuse
to let you straitjacket me!
2034
01:27:02,389 --> 01:27:03,524
I can't.
2035
01:27:03,558 --> 01:27:05,292
I gotta speak my truth, man.
2036
01:27:05,325 --> 01:27:06,527
I gotta speak my truth.
2037
01:27:06,561 --> 01:27:08,162
You know, what's crazy?
2038
01:27:10,098 --> 01:27:11,632
I want to do what I want.
2039
01:27:11,666 --> 01:27:13,668
I'm on the stage.
I don't give a fuck.
2040
01:27:13,701 --> 01:27:15,169
I'll fuckin' hump the stage.
2041
01:27:15,203 --> 01:27:18,172
(grunting)
2042
01:27:18,206 --> 01:27:20,373
(Link screams)
2043
01:27:22,744 --> 01:27:26,681
I'm not gonna play
fucking Coldplay songs.
2044
01:27:26,714 --> 01:27:29,349
I'm not gonna play
Coldplay songs.
2045
01:27:29,382 --> 01:27:31,318
Fucking watch Coldplay!
2046
01:27:31,351 --> 01:27:33,353
You're trying to kill my deep,
profound,
2047
01:27:33,386 --> 01:27:34,856
life giving impulse.
2048
01:27:34,889 --> 01:27:36,190
I'm not gonna let you do it.
2049
01:27:36,224 --> 01:27:37,558
No! Hell no.
2050
01:27:37,592 --> 01:27:38,425
Not today.
2051
01:27:41,696 --> 01:27:43,531
You know what the best part
of all this is?
2052
01:27:43,564 --> 01:27:45,199
You're just the same as me,
2053
01:27:45,233 --> 01:27:47,869
way down there
in that deep dark pit
2054
01:27:47,902 --> 01:27:49,537
you're afraid to look inside.
2055
01:27:49,570 --> 01:27:51,873
I'm just the only one
that's willing to say it.
2056
01:27:56,309 --> 01:27:58,146
My name is Alex Goodrich.
2057
01:28:00,447 --> 01:28:01,616
I'm from Connecticut,
2058
01:28:03,985 --> 01:28:06,621
and this is the first time
I'm telling you the truth.
2059
01:28:09,489 --> 01:28:11,159
And all I need to know is
2060
01:28:12,760 --> 01:28:15,395
are you with me
or are you against me?
2061
01:28:20,134 --> 01:28:22,970
And if you're with me,
click that like button.
2062
01:28:30,812 --> 01:28:31,646
Fuck you.
2063
01:28:34,115 --> 01:28:35,315
You're welcome.
2064
01:28:36,951 --> 01:28:38,953
(sighs)
2065
01:28:42,256 --> 01:28:45,293
- (audience applause)
- (cheering)
2066
01:28:45,325 --> 01:28:48,262
No One Special! No One Special!
2067
01:28:48,296 --> 01:28:50,865
No One Special! No One Special!
2068
01:28:51,833 --> 01:28:53,568
No One Special!
2069
01:28:53,601 --> 01:28:57,605
Special, Special,
Special, Special, Special,
2070
01:28:57,638 --> 01:28:59,807
Special, Special, Special.
2071
01:29:03,611 --> 01:29:06,514
(soft piano music)
2072
01:29:06,572 --> 01:29:11,572
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
2073
01:30:05,940 --> 01:30:08,876
(soft synth music)
2074
01:30:45,579 --> 01:30:48,416
(synth pop music)
2075
01:30:51,986 --> 01:30:56,524
♪ Seeing it fell down ♪
2076
01:30:56,557 --> 01:30:59,894
♪ Didn't make a sound ♪
2077
01:30:59,927 --> 01:31:04,932
♪ Can you live here anymore ♪
2078
01:31:05,766 --> 01:31:10,371
♪ What's outside your door ♪
2079
01:31:10,404 --> 01:31:13,708
♪ Home is on the floor ♪
2080
01:31:13,741 --> 01:31:18,746
♪ Can you be here anymore ♪
2081
01:31:19,479 --> 01:31:24,484
♪ It's taken longer
than you've seen back home ♪
2082
01:31:26,454 --> 01:31:27,788
♪ Yeah ♪
2083
01:31:27,822 --> 01:31:30,658
(synth pop music)
2084
01:31:54,215 --> 01:31:58,853
♪ Seeing it fell down ♪
2085
01:31:58,886 --> 01:32:02,289
♪ Didn't make a sound ♪
2086
01:32:02,323 --> 01:32:07,328
♪ Can you live here anymore ♪
2087
01:32:08,162 --> 01:32:12,767
♪ What's outside your door ♪
2088
01:32:12,800 --> 01:32:16,170
♪ Home is on the floor ♪
2089
01:32:16,203 --> 01:32:21,175
♪ Can you be here anymore ♪
2090
01:32:21,842 --> 01:32:26,847
♪ It's taken longer
than you've seen back home ♪
2091
01:32:28,582 --> 01:32:33,154
♪ It's harder
in the background ♪
2092
01:32:33,187 --> 01:32:37,625
♪ You try to make someone
confused ♪
2093
01:32:37,658 --> 01:32:42,163
♪ They're seeing
where you come from ♪
2094
01:32:42,196 --> 01:32:47,334
♪ It's worse
when it's all you can do ♪
2095
01:32:47,368 --> 01:32:51,540
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪
2096
01:32:51,572 --> 01:32:56,343
♪ It's harder
in the background ♪
2097
01:32:56,377 --> 01:33:00,748
♪ You try to make someone
confused ♪
2098
01:33:00,781 --> 01:33:05,352
♪ They're seeing
where you come from ♪
2099
01:33:05,386 --> 01:33:10,525
♪ It's worse
when it's all you can do ♪
2100
01:33:10,559 --> 01:33:13,394
(synth pop music)
2101
01:33:19,366 --> 01:33:23,904
♪ Seeing it fell down ♪
2102
01:33:23,938 --> 01:33:27,374
♪ Didn't make a sound ♪
2103
01:33:27,408 --> 01:33:32,413
♪ Can you live here anymore ♪
2104
01:33:33,147 --> 01:33:37,785
♪ What's outside your door ♪
2105
01:33:37,818 --> 01:33:41,523
♪ Home is on the floor ♪
2106
01:33:41,556 --> 01:33:46,961
♪ Can you be here anymore ♪
2107
01:33:46,994 --> 01:33:51,999
♪ It's taken longer
than you've seen back home ♪
2108
01:33:53,901 --> 01:33:58,239
♪ It's harder
in the background ♪
2109
01:33:58,272 --> 01:34:02,810
♪ You try to make someone
confused ♪
2110
01:34:02,843 --> 01:34:07,381
♪ They're seeing
where you come from ♪
2111
01:34:07,414 --> 01:34:12,554
♪ It's worse
when it's all you can do ♪
2112
01:34:12,587 --> 01:34:16,558
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪
2113
01:34:16,591 --> 01:34:21,162
♪ It's harder
in the background ♪
2114
01:34:21,195 --> 01:34:25,766
♪ You try to make someone
confused ♪
2115
01:34:25,799 --> 01:34:30,404
♪ They're seeing
where you come from ♪
2116
01:34:30,437 --> 01:34:35,809
♪ It's worse
when it's all you can do ♪
2117
01:34:35,843 --> 01:34:38,345
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪
145623
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