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1
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:14,833
- I can't believe it's been
Four years to the day
2
00:00:14,833 --> 00:00:17,567
Since we crash-landed
In cleveland.
3
00:00:17,567 --> 00:00:18,800
- we should celebrate.
4
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:20,500
Oh, wait. We can't do
This without elka.
5
00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:22,267
- you know
What's really strange?
6
00:00:22,267 --> 00:00:25,200
In four years, we've never
Been inside elka's house.
7
00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:26,533
- yeah, she always
Has some excuse.
8
00:00:26,533 --> 00:00:28,567
"Oh, don't come in.
The place is a mess."
9
00:00:28,567 --> 00:00:30,067
- "Don't come in.
I have a man in here."
10
00:00:30,067 --> 00:00:33,000
- "Don't come in.
I don't like you."
11
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,000
- you know what?
This is silly.
12
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,067
We should just go over there.
13
00:00:36,067 --> 00:00:38,333
- yeah.
14
00:00:38,333 --> 00:00:39,767
[knock on door]
15
00:00:39,767 --> 00:00:40,833
- don't come in.
16
00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:43,533
I don't like you.
17
00:00:43,533 --> 00:00:44,800
- elka, come on.
18
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:45,900
We want to celebrate
With you.
19
00:00:45,900 --> 00:00:46,967
Today is the anniversary
20
00:00:46,967 --> 00:00:48,367
Of when we moved
To cleveland.
21
00:00:48,367 --> 00:00:49,633
- I know.
22
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,867
You arrived, lebron left.
23
00:00:51,867 --> 00:00:53,667
Worst trade ever.
24
00:00:53,667 --> 00:00:55,500
- will you just let us in?
25
00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:56,900
- all right.
26
00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:59,367
But don't freak out.
27
00:00:59,367 --> 00:01:00,433
[all gasp]
28
00:01:00,433 --> 00:01:01,667
- what the--
- [laughs] Wow.
29
00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:02,667
- oh, my god.
30
00:01:02,667 --> 00:01:03,667
- all right.
31
00:01:03,667 --> 00:01:05,367
Come on in.
32
00:01:05,367 --> 00:01:07,167
- how is this possible?
33
00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:08,667
- the short explanation is
The house is built
34
00:01:08,667 --> 00:01:10,467
Over a portal
To another universe.
35
00:01:10,467 --> 00:01:11,700
- but how does--
36
00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:14,167
- I could go into
The exact whys and hows,
37
00:01:14,167 --> 00:01:15,533
But you'd need
To read this book
38
00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:17,433
On string theory first.
39
00:01:17,433 --> 00:01:19,233
- it's fine.
- we're good.
40
00:01:19,233 --> 00:01:21,267
- we don't really know
How botox works either.
41
00:01:21,267 --> 00:01:23,933
- oh, mein gott.
We have visitors.
42
00:01:23,933 --> 00:01:26,133
- oh, yeah,
And the dog talks.
43
00:01:26,133 --> 00:01:28,433
- why is george clooney
Wearing socks and sandals?
44
00:01:28,433 --> 00:01:29,800
- he's german.
45
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:31,800
- technically,
Ich bin pomeranian.
46
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,200
- I don't know
About anyone else,
47
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:34,767
But I could go for
A driving montage.
48
00:01:34,767 --> 00:01:36,633
- melanie, where
Are your manners?
49
00:01:36,633 --> 00:01:38,067
Opening credits first.
50
00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:40,067
- * ba-ba, ba-ba
51
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:43,133
* ba-ba, ba-ba
52
00:01:43,133 --> 00:01:44,200
* hey!
53
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:45,333
- look over there.
54
00:01:45,333 --> 00:01:48,867
It's the beautiful
Cuyahoga river.
55
00:01:48,867 --> 00:01:53,533
- and there's
The cleveland indians' stadium.
56
00:01:53,533 --> 00:01:55,267
- and that
Must be severance hall,
57
00:01:55,267 --> 00:01:57,700
Where the world-renowned
Cleveland orchestra plays.
58
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,200
[tires screech]
59
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:06,200
[grunts]
60
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,467
Oh, no.
61
00:02:07,467 --> 00:02:09,733
The rock and roll
Hall of fame is closed.
62
00:02:09,733 --> 00:02:12,400
- I think I have something
That can open that.
63
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,067
- so do I.
64
00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:19,267
And that, ladies, is
How you get inside
65
00:02:19,267 --> 00:02:22,200
The rock and roll
Hall of fame.
66
00:02:27,633 --> 00:02:29,833
- [grunting]
67
00:02:29,833 --> 00:02:32,767
Hey, get me out of here.
68
00:02:32,767 --> 00:02:35,400
[wailing]
Wow!
69
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,200
- steven tyler?
70
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:38,633
- mr. Tyler,
I'm a huge fan.
71
00:02:38,633 --> 00:02:40,700
- aah!
Look at those hands.
72
00:02:40,700 --> 00:02:42,233
Lady looks like a dude.
73
00:02:42,233 --> 00:02:43,500
- what were you doing
In the trunk
74
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:45,067
Of janis joplin's porsche?
75
00:02:45,067 --> 00:02:47,067
- I got in an argument
With stevie nicks
76
00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:48,867
About who wears scarves better.
77
00:02:48,867 --> 00:02:50,867
Before I knew it,
She cast a spell on me
78
00:02:50,867 --> 00:02:52,167
And locked me in a trunk.
79
00:02:52,167 --> 00:02:54,533
And damn it, now I either
Have to grant you
80
00:02:54,533 --> 00:02:57,067
Three wishes
Or be your butler for life.
81
00:02:57,067 --> 00:02:58,933
All: wishes.
We want wishes.
82
00:02:58,933 --> 00:03:00,400
- okay, okay.
83
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,667
I know everybody's first wish
Is world peace, so...
84
00:03:02,667 --> 00:03:04,333
All:
Eternal youth and beauty.
85
00:03:04,333 --> 00:03:05,333
- you all want in?
86
00:03:05,333 --> 00:03:06,800
All: yes.
- I'll opt out.
87
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,467
The secret to my happiness
Is doing
88
00:03:08,467 --> 00:03:10,533
The opposite
Of these three loons.
89
00:03:10,533 --> 00:03:11,800
- no problem.
90
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,100
You and I will pass the time
Together, right, cutie?
91
00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:16,067
- dream on.
- wow!
92
00:03:16,067 --> 00:03:18,567
So that's what rejection
From a woman feels like.
93
00:03:18,567 --> 00:03:21,233
Eternal youth and beauty
For three coming right up.
94
00:03:21,233 --> 00:03:23,333
[scats]
95
00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:24,733
- oh, my god.
96
00:03:24,733 --> 00:03:26,067
We're in paris.
97
00:03:26,067 --> 00:03:27,300
- but why are we here?
98
00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:29,133
This isn't what we wished for.
99
00:03:29,133 --> 00:03:30,467
- maybe we're finally
Going to paris
100
00:03:30,467 --> 00:03:32,067
Like we intended
Four years ago,
101
00:03:32,067 --> 00:03:33,733
When we crash-landed
In cleveland.
102
00:03:33,733 --> 00:03:36,500
[men murmuring,
Chuckling]
103
00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:38,367
- hey, we thought cleveland
Was the ticket
104
00:03:38,367 --> 00:03:39,433
To eternal youth and beauty,
105
00:03:39,433 --> 00:03:41,833
But we seem to be hot
In paris too.
106
00:03:41,833 --> 00:03:43,233
[bell rings]
107
00:03:43,233 --> 00:03:44,233
Male narrator:
The models came out
108
00:03:44,233 --> 00:03:45,667
In two straight lines.
109
00:03:45,667 --> 00:03:48,600
The smallest
One was 5'9".
110
00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:49,733
- [giggles]
- [moans]
111
00:03:49,733 --> 00:03:50,867
All: aw.
112
00:03:50,867 --> 00:03:52,767
- we need eternal
Youth and beauty.
113
00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:54,200
[shimmering tone]
114
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,667
- what are these tickets?
115
00:03:55,667 --> 00:03:57,233
- ladies,
116
00:03:57,233 --> 00:04:01,933
Follow me to the institute
Of eternal youth and beauty.
117
00:04:01,933 --> 00:04:03,533
- you're not an example
Of the work
118
00:04:03,533 --> 00:04:04,633
That they do, are you?
119
00:04:04,633 --> 00:04:07,667
- beauty is in the soul.
120
00:04:07,667 --> 00:04:09,533
- that better not be
The lesson we're learning.
121
00:04:09,533 --> 00:04:11,733
- walk this way.
122
00:04:11,733 --> 00:04:16,100
What didn't you understand
About "Walk this way"?
123
00:04:17,833 --> 00:04:20,067
Bonne chance.
124
00:04:31,133 --> 00:04:34,333
- [grunting]
125
00:04:34,333 --> 00:04:35,400
Nailed it.
126
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,667
- elka?
127
00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:38,300
- wilhelmina wonka.
128
00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:40,500
I'm your ticket
To youth and beauty.
129
00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:41,933
[upbeat music]
130
00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:45,467
* who can take your wrinkles
131
00:04:45,467 --> 00:04:48,900
* whisk them all away?
132
00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:50,500
* make your skin as smooth
133
00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:52,733
* as if you've bathed
In retin-a? *
134
00:04:52,733 --> 00:04:54,367
* the beauty man can
135
00:04:54,367 --> 00:04:55,833
- * you're really not a man *
136
00:04:55,833 --> 00:04:58,600
- but "Woman" wouldn't scan.
137
00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:02,233
[all gasp]
138
00:05:02,233 --> 00:05:04,267
- welcome to my world,
139
00:05:04,267 --> 00:05:07,367
A world of pure rejuvenation.
140
00:05:07,367 --> 00:05:10,833
Fauna and flora
Designed by sephora.
141
00:05:10,833 --> 00:05:15,867
Hair extensions
Growing in the trees.
142
00:05:15,867 --> 00:05:21,067
And should you find occasion
For microdermabrasion...
143
00:05:21,067 --> 00:05:23,700
* there's
Sodium chloride crystals *
144
00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:27,467
* on the breeze
145
00:05:27,467 --> 00:05:29,400
- * is this real?
146
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,400
* a skin peel
Just by dunking *
147
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,633
* my head in this fountain
148
00:05:34,633 --> 00:05:37,667
- * not just that,
Lose your fat *
149
00:05:37,667 --> 00:05:42,267
* at the top of lipo mountain
150
00:05:42,267 --> 00:05:44,133
- * the birdies in the skies
151
00:05:44,133 --> 00:05:47,167
* have lasers in their eyes
To zap *
152
00:05:47,167 --> 00:05:51,800
* unwanted facial hairs away
153
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,767
All: * yes,
Nothing can go wrong *
154
00:05:54,767 --> 00:05:59,067
* here in beauty land
155
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:03,100
* so in beauty land
156
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:09,067
* we'll stay *
157
00:06:10,433 --> 00:06:11,700
- a word of caution, though.
158
00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:13,867
Don't let your vanity
Get the better of you.
159
00:06:13,867 --> 00:06:16,400
For example, this river
Of pure botox--
160
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,700
- river of botox,
You say?
161
00:06:18,700 --> 00:06:19,700
- stop!
162
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:21,067
Do you want
The same fate
163
00:06:21,067 --> 00:06:23,233
As the real housewives
Of beverly hills?
164
00:06:23,233 --> 00:06:24,733
- what's going
To happen to them?
165
00:06:24,733 --> 00:06:26,500
- oh, we recycle.
166
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:27,567
[saw blade whirring]
167
00:06:27,567 --> 00:06:29,067
Nothing goes to waste here.
168
00:06:29,067 --> 00:06:31,767
We use their implants
For toss-a-cross.
169
00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:33,500
- hey, who are they?
170
00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:35,067
- those are the mamie sues,
171
00:06:35,067 --> 00:06:36,933
The little people
Who work for me.
172
00:06:36,933 --> 00:06:38,400
All: work with you.
173
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:41,467
- ongoing labor dispute.
Shall we continue the tour?
174
00:06:43,967 --> 00:06:45,133
- an inflatorator?
175
00:06:45,133 --> 00:06:46,567
What does that do?
176
00:06:46,567 --> 00:06:48,833
All: it pumps and plumps
Your boobs and ass
177
00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:51,600
Enough
To put on any glass.
178
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:54,400
- but it's still very much
In the experimental stage.
179
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:57,067
Now, come along.
180
00:07:03,733 --> 00:07:06,400
[mechanical whirring]
181
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:07,633
- ooh.
182
00:07:07,633 --> 00:07:12,533
Someone's a bit handsy.
183
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,367
They're right here.
184
00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:16,633
Oh.
Oh, I say.
185
00:07:17,833 --> 00:07:20,367
- joy, this is
Unsanctioned behavior.
186
00:07:20,367 --> 00:07:21,533
- look, I've
Always wanted this.
187
00:07:21,533 --> 00:07:24,600
I just don't know
How big I should go.
188
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:30,833
Oh!
This is wonderful.
189
00:07:30,833 --> 00:07:33,800
Oh, my back hurts already.
190
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:35,633
More!
191
00:07:35,633 --> 00:07:37,267
[cackles]
192
00:07:37,267 --> 00:07:39,367
More!
193
00:07:39,367 --> 00:07:41,733
Whoa!
194
00:07:41,733 --> 00:07:44,667
Help!
195
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,367
All: * boob jobs, butt jobs
196
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:48,733
* silly silicone
197
00:07:48,733 --> 00:07:52,933
* you're better off
Being flat and alone *
198
00:07:52,933 --> 00:07:54,933
- melanie, tie joy
To your wrist,
199
00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:56,433
And we'll carry on.
200
00:07:56,433 --> 00:07:57,567
[thud]
- ow.
201
00:07:57,567 --> 00:07:58,833
- sorry.
202
00:07:58,833 --> 00:08:00,200
- this room contains
203
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,867
The most cutting-edge
Revitalization technology
204
00:08:02,867 --> 00:08:04,133
In the world.
205
00:08:04,133 --> 00:08:05,867
- it's amazing.
Both: oh.
206
00:08:05,867 --> 00:08:08,133
- pills...
What do these do?
207
00:08:08,133 --> 00:08:10,367
All: much stronger by far
Than any ablution.
208
00:08:10,367 --> 00:08:13,600
For aging, this is
The perfect solution.
209
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,333
- I call it
"The ever-younger stopgobber."
210
00:08:16,333 --> 00:08:18,200
- I have
A major announcement to make.
211
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,400
I want
An ever-younger stopgobber.
212
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,333
- they're not ready yet.
213
00:08:25,667 --> 00:08:27,967
- ooh, a modelizer?
214
00:08:27,967 --> 00:08:29,700
What does this turn you into?
215
00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:32,800
All: a teenage model,
A human coat hanger,
216
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,767
The kind that makes
Fellows say,
217
00:08:34,767 --> 00:08:36,533
"I'd love to bang her."
218
00:08:36,533 --> 00:08:38,533
- I'm there.
- there are drawbacks.
219
00:08:38,533 --> 00:08:40,367
- I'm...There.
220
00:08:40,367 --> 00:08:42,767
- the process
Destroys brain cells.
221
00:08:42,767 --> 00:08:45,233
- oh, they say
The same thing about wine.
222
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:48,867
[rattling]
[grunts]
223
00:08:48,867 --> 00:08:51,767
I'm stuck in here.
224
00:08:51,767 --> 00:08:53,200
- you need to push.
225
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,933
- which way is that again?
226
00:08:55,933 --> 00:08:58,867
[hissing]
227
00:08:58,867 --> 00:09:01,867
- oh, my god.
You're so young.
228
00:09:01,867 --> 00:09:04,367
- and thin.
You can eat anything.
229
00:09:04,367 --> 00:09:06,433
- yeah,
But I can't remember what.
230
00:09:06,433 --> 00:09:09,400
Do I eat meat
Or am I a "Vetenernarinan"?
231
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:10,767
- oh, brother.
232
00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:14,067
All: * models are
A vapid, boring breed *
233
00:09:14,067 --> 00:09:18,433
* you're better off
Just going to seed *
234
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:19,800
- oh, my god.
235
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:21,567
Joy's a balloon,
And melanie's an idiot.
236
00:09:21,567 --> 00:09:25,400
Where are my chill pills?
237
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:28,100
Oh, I feel better and younger.
238
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:29,200
I feel 40.
239
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:31,967
I don't want to be 40.
240
00:09:31,967 --> 00:09:36,833
- stop. Don't.
241
00:09:36,833 --> 00:09:38,500
- look at her now.
242
00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:42,200
Look, all my hand toes
Can point.
243
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,367
- oh, my god.
Look at me.
244
00:09:44,367 --> 00:09:46,667
I'm bald and fat.
245
00:09:46,667 --> 00:09:47,833
All: * three failed stabs
246
00:09:47,833 --> 00:09:49,700
* at turning back your clocks
247
00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:54,067
* proves you dumb
As a trio of rocks *
248
00:09:54,067 --> 00:09:56,133
- steven tyler,
Take us back.
249
00:09:56,133 --> 00:09:57,867
This wish didn't work!
250
00:09:57,867 --> 00:09:59,567
- [wailing]
Wow!
251
00:09:59,567 --> 00:10:01,300
- [playing guitar]
252
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:02,433
- what happened?
253
00:10:02,433 --> 00:10:03,767
You look as old
As when you left.
254
00:10:03,767 --> 00:10:05,000
- let's just say
We had some problems,
255
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,300
And leave it at that.
256
00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:07,667
- you know, we don't have
To improve ourselves
257
00:10:07,667 --> 00:10:08,967
To be attractive to men.
258
00:10:08,967 --> 00:10:09,967
We should wish
They're attracted to us
259
00:10:09,967 --> 00:10:11,367
Just the way we are.
260
00:10:11,367 --> 00:10:13,167
- did you get that,
Steven tyler?
261
00:10:13,167 --> 00:10:15,200
We want men
To be crazy about us.
262
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,200
- hordes of men
Hungry for us.
263
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,400
- drooling over us.
264
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:22,333
- so you all agree
That's the second wish?
265
00:10:22,333 --> 00:10:24,967
You want men
To be hungry for you.
266
00:10:24,967 --> 00:10:26,067
Coming right up.
267
00:10:26,067 --> 00:10:27,900
[inhales deeply,
Plays pitch pipe]
268
00:10:27,900 --> 00:10:30,867
[wailing]
Wow!
269
00:10:30,867 --> 00:10:32,600
- what are we doing here?
270
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:33,967
- and where are all the men,
271
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,233
Hungry and drooling
For us?
272
00:10:36,233 --> 00:10:37,233
[glass shatters]
[all scream]
273
00:10:37,233 --> 00:10:38,433
[zombies groaning]
274
00:10:38,433 --> 00:10:39,433
[door closes]
275
00:10:39,433 --> 00:10:41,700
- I'm returning
Your corkscrew.
276
00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:45,333
And by the way, there's
A zombie apocalypse going on.
277
00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:47,133
- well, they are hungry for us.
278
00:10:47,133 --> 00:10:48,500
- if there's one thing I hate,
279
00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:51,100
It's zombies
And what joy's wearing.
280
00:10:51,100 --> 00:10:53,200
- really? Now?
281
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,133
- I think we should
Reason with them.
282
00:10:55,133 --> 00:10:57,600
They may be undead,
But they're still people.
283
00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,667
Do any of you zombies want
To talk
284
00:11:00,667 --> 00:11:03,800
About healthier eating options
Than human flesh?
285
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,367
Ooh.
Ooh, my.
286
00:11:06,367 --> 00:11:07,567
[zombies groaning]
287
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:10,300
- those zombies made
Some excellent points.
288
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:12,300
Also, I'm a zombie now.
289
00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:13,500
[all scream]
290
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:16,500
[dramatic music]
291
00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:23,300
*
292
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:24,333
- who would have thought
You could
293
00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:26,133
Kill zombies with tae bo?
294
00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:27,633
- I did.
295
00:11:27,633 --> 00:11:29,133
- do you know what
The sad part is?
296
00:11:29,133 --> 00:11:30,800
- no, victoria,
Please tell us
297
00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,133
What the sad part about
Being attacked by zombies is.
298
00:11:33,133 --> 00:11:35,133
- yeah, I'd like to know too.
299
00:11:35,133 --> 00:11:36,800
[growls]
300
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:38,833
- mamie sue!
- sorry.
301
00:11:38,833 --> 00:11:40,933
- [clears throat]
The sad part is
302
00:11:40,933 --> 00:11:42,500
We have all these men
That wanted us
303
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:44,700
Really badly,
And they're all gone.
304
00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:45,733
- that's true.
305
00:11:45,733 --> 00:11:47,333
If only there was some way
To take
306
00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:49,900
These body parts
And create the perfect man.
307
00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:51,167
- there are enough
Body parts here
308
00:11:51,167 --> 00:11:53,067
To make four perfect men.
309
00:11:53,067 --> 00:11:54,667
- but how would we do that?
310
00:11:54,667 --> 00:11:57,067
- you could always go
To elka's secret lab.
311
00:11:58,633 --> 00:12:00,400
- did I never mention
The secret lab
312
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,467
I have under the house?
313
00:12:04,367 --> 00:12:06,567
- how long have you had
This underground lab?
314
00:12:06,567 --> 00:12:07,933
- oh, forever.
315
00:12:07,933 --> 00:12:09,400
My license
With the city says
316
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,067
It's a build-a-bear workshop.
317
00:12:11,067 --> 00:12:13,400
In fact, before we
Re-animate our men,
318
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,633
You have to choose
One of these outfits.
319
00:12:15,633 --> 00:12:18,433
- $300 for a denim cap?
320
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:19,567
- that's where they get you.
321
00:12:19,567 --> 00:12:21,700
- is everyone ready?
322
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:23,800
- mine will be
The most beautiful creature
323
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:25,333
You've ever seen.
324
00:12:25,333 --> 00:12:26,333
- I didn't go for looks.
325
00:12:26,333 --> 00:12:27,767
I went for personality.
326
00:12:27,767 --> 00:12:30,067
My perfect man
Is nice, smart,
327
00:12:30,067 --> 00:12:32,333
And, above all, honest.
328
00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:34,767
- robert redford.
329
00:12:34,767 --> 00:12:37,133
- david beckham.
330
00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:39,100
- george clooney.
331
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:41,133
- ja?
- not you.
332
00:12:41,133 --> 00:12:43,167
- okay, but admit
It's confusing.
333
00:12:43,167 --> 00:12:46,667
- abraham lincoln.
334
00:12:46,667 --> 00:12:49,333
What? You know what they say
About men with big hats?
335
00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:50,433
- that's shoes.
336
00:12:50,433 --> 00:12:52,467
- really?
337
00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:53,733
Oh.
338
00:12:53,733 --> 00:12:56,567
- you ladies ready?
339
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:59,100
[electricity hums]
340
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:01,233
- hello.
341
00:13:01,233 --> 00:13:03,267
- well, hello.
342
00:13:03,267 --> 00:13:05,567
- hello, gorgeous.
343
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:09,267
- I propose we form
A perfect union--naked.
344
00:13:09,267 --> 00:13:11,900
- our men are falling
In love with each other.
345
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:13,733
- we found
The perfect gay men?
346
00:13:13,733 --> 00:13:16,067
[scoffs] We could have
Done that in l.A.
347
00:13:16,067 --> 00:13:18,200
- whoops, we programmed
The men to fall in love
348
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,367
With the first person
They see.
349
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:22,633
- de-animate them!
De-animate them!
350
00:13:22,633 --> 00:13:24,267
[electricity buzzes]
351
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,633
[electricity hums]
352
00:13:32,633 --> 00:13:34,733
- my god.
353
00:13:34,733 --> 00:13:38,267
You are the most beautiful
Woman I've ever seen.
354
00:13:38,267 --> 00:13:40,567
- you got that right,
Sundance.
355
00:13:40,567 --> 00:13:42,400
- this is fantastic.
356
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:43,633
- it certainly is.
357
00:13:43,633 --> 00:13:47,367
- what could possibly go wrong?
358
00:13:47,367 --> 00:13:49,233
- nothing has gone wrong.
359
00:13:49,233 --> 00:13:51,267
- well, kind of a mixed bag.
360
00:13:51,267 --> 00:13:52,400
- [giggling]
- ooh.
361
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:55,767
- nothing could
Ruin our happiness.
362
00:13:55,767 --> 00:13:57,767
Nothing has
Ruined our happiness.
363
00:13:57,767 --> 00:13:59,633
- [hissing]
364
00:13:59,633 --> 00:14:01,767
- I need coffee.
365
00:14:01,767 --> 00:14:03,700
Robert redford snores louder
Than I did
366
00:14:03,700 --> 00:14:05,367
During
The great waldo pepper.
367
00:14:05,367 --> 00:14:07,700
- sure, you can bend it
Like beckham,
368
00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:09,367
But would it kill you
To bend over
369
00:14:09,367 --> 00:14:11,700
And pick up a wet towel once
In a while?
370
00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:13,333
- you think you have it bad.
371
00:14:13,333 --> 00:14:15,967
George clooney's so hot
To save the planet
372
00:14:15,967 --> 00:14:19,333
He put fluorescent bulbs
Over my bathroom mirror.
373
00:14:24,133 --> 00:14:25,600
- well, now that we're
Getting everything out,
374
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:28,133
Honest abe could cut back
On the honesty a little.
375
00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:29,633
Do you like this dress on me?
376
00:14:29,633 --> 00:14:33,500
- eh, it's not exactly
Giving me a lincoln log.
377
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:36,167
- so we didn't create
Perfect men after all.
378
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:38,067
- it turns out
Even sexy, athletic,
379
00:14:38,067 --> 00:14:41,133
Talented, political
Icons are still just men.
380
00:14:41,133 --> 00:14:42,533
- maybe we're
Not being fair.
381
00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:44,533
We couldn't make ourselves
Into perfect women either.
382
00:14:44,533 --> 00:14:47,167
- so maybe we should
Cut them some slack.
383
00:14:47,167 --> 00:14:48,500
[upbeat music playing]
384
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:50,167
- it's coming
From the garage.
385
00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:52,200
*
386
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:55,167
- * and I'm happy
Just to be alive *
387
00:14:56,733 --> 00:14:58,067
- oh, dear god.
388
00:14:58,067 --> 00:15:01,067
They've started
A middle-aged man garage band.
389
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,667
- oh, yeah.
They gotta go.
390
00:15:02,667 --> 00:15:03,667
- now.
391
00:15:03,667 --> 00:15:05,367
- but how do we get rid of them?
392
00:15:05,367 --> 00:15:08,500
- I could eat.
393
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:10,967
[men scream]
[chewing, gnawing]
394
00:15:14,967 --> 00:15:16,700
- you ladies
Are probably starting
395
00:15:16,700 --> 00:15:19,600
To figure out that these
Wishes have catches to them,
396
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,267
So I'm sure
You'll be careful
397
00:15:21,267 --> 00:15:22,600
When you make
Your next wishes.
398
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:25,133
- I wish lebron
Never left cleveland.
399
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:26,433
- all right.
400
00:15:26,433 --> 00:15:29,700
[wailing]
Wow!
401
00:15:31,567 --> 00:15:33,367
- welcome to cleveland,
402
00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:35,133
City of champions.
403
00:15:35,133 --> 00:15:37,533
- that means
They won the title.
404
00:15:37,533 --> 00:15:40,867
Mamie sue,
You look fantastic.
405
00:15:40,867 --> 00:15:42,900
And so does cleveland.
406
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:45,267
- a little confidence
Changes everything.
407
00:15:45,267 --> 00:15:47,800
They say that in women's
Magazines all the time,
408
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,533
But for once
It's really true.
409
00:15:49,533 --> 00:15:50,833
- we should go to our bar
410
00:15:50,833 --> 00:15:55,100
And toast
Our amazing new city.
411
00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:57,333
- excuse me, we're
Regulars here, so--
412
00:15:57,333 --> 00:15:58,933
- I don't think so, ladies.
413
00:15:58,933 --> 00:16:02,667
You're not quite right
For this establishment.
414
00:16:02,667 --> 00:16:05,467
- oh, my god.
415
00:16:05,467 --> 00:16:07,167
He just said we're
Not hot...
416
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:08,767
In cleveland.
417
00:16:08,767 --> 00:16:10,633
- cleveland
Is overflowing
418
00:16:10,633 --> 00:16:12,533
With powerful,
Attractive people now.
419
00:16:12,533 --> 00:16:15,533
Even the browns and indians
Have won championships.
420
00:16:15,533 --> 00:16:17,500
- but the best part of
Being a cleveland fan
421
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:19,567
Is the complaining
About the teams.
422
00:16:19,567 --> 00:16:21,533
- your wish ruined cleveland.
423
00:16:21,533 --> 00:16:23,800
- we gotta go talk to lebron.
424
00:16:31,867 --> 00:16:33,300
[all gasp]
425
00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:37,300
- who dares approach
The great and powerful lebron?
426
00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:40,633
Hey, what's up, dog?
427
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:43,633
- king james, you need
To fix cleveland.
428
00:16:43,633 --> 00:16:45,200
- what are you talking about?
429
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,133
I fixed it.
We're cool.
430
00:16:47,133 --> 00:16:48,533
We win championships.
431
00:16:48,533 --> 00:16:50,067
We even have our own batman.
432
00:16:50,067 --> 00:16:52,133
- don't tell them it's you.
433
00:16:52,133 --> 00:16:54,233
- way ahead of you.
434
00:16:54,233 --> 00:16:57,067
Anyway, cleveland has
Pretentious food trucks
435
00:16:57,067 --> 00:16:59,833
And spin classes
And hipsters and vegans.
436
00:16:59,833 --> 00:17:01,233
- you know what that
Sounds like.
437
00:17:01,233 --> 00:17:02,433
- success?
438
00:17:02,433 --> 00:17:04,700
- no, los angeles.
439
00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:06,533
- we came here
From los angeles
440
00:17:06,533 --> 00:17:08,133
And discovered a special place,
441
00:17:08,133 --> 00:17:11,067
Totally different
From what we left behind.
442
00:17:11,067 --> 00:17:12,667
And now it's all gone.
443
00:17:12,667 --> 00:17:15,700
- I miss the fanny packs,
The chili fries,
444
00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:19,133
The jean shorts, and marshall
Tucker band tank tops.
445
00:17:19,133 --> 00:17:21,400
- I loved complaining
That you couldn't find
446
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,600
Anything
In a size 0 here.
447
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,733
- I loved being objectified,
Whistled at,
448
00:17:25,733 --> 00:17:28,267
And yes, once, in
A dunkin' donuts, goosed.
449
00:17:28,267 --> 00:17:30,900
- and after all, isn't feeling
Good about yourself
450
00:17:30,900 --> 00:17:32,767
Really just feeling better
Than others?
451
00:17:32,767 --> 00:17:34,900
Oh, do something, lebron.
452
00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:38,133
- forgive me.
Your words have moved me.
453
00:17:38,133 --> 00:17:39,700
People say a lot
Of things about me,
454
00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:41,233
But I never want them
To say batman--
455
00:17:41,233 --> 00:17:44,433
I mean, lebron--
456
00:17:44,433 --> 00:17:46,267
Robbed a lady
Of her hotness.
457
00:17:46,267 --> 00:17:47,467
I don't know
Why I just said "Batman,"
458
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:50,333
Because
I'm obviously not him.
459
00:17:50,333 --> 00:17:51,800
- batman.
460
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,433
- but what will you do?
461
00:17:53,433 --> 00:17:54,567
- I'll move on.
462
00:17:54,567 --> 00:17:55,767
I've recently had
An offer
463
00:17:55,767 --> 00:17:57,467
From the okinawa lady
Pantsers.
464
00:17:57,467 --> 00:18:00,533
[japanese pop song]
465
00:18:00,533 --> 00:18:02,067
*
466
00:18:02,067 --> 00:18:04,933
- hey, aren't you--
- no, I don't think so.
467
00:18:04,933 --> 00:18:06,233
- I know this city.
468
00:18:06,233 --> 00:18:07,833
Cleveland won't mind
If I leave.
469
00:18:07,833 --> 00:18:09,300
Maybe they won't
Even notice.
470
00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:10,800
- this is perfect.
471
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:12,833
I already feel like
The city is ours again,
472
00:18:12,833 --> 00:18:14,433
And things will
Be back to normal.
473
00:18:14,433 --> 00:18:17,067
- good-bye, cleveland.
474
00:18:17,067 --> 00:18:19,600
[car horns honking]
[overlapping shouting]
475
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,867
[car alarms blaring,
Explosions]
476
00:18:22,867 --> 00:18:24,233
- it's okay.
477
00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:25,633
Nobody knows
We're responsible.
478
00:18:25,633 --> 00:18:27,967
[indistinct shouting]
479
00:18:27,967 --> 00:18:29,567
- there they are!
Get 'em!
480
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,167
[all scream]
481
00:18:31,167 --> 00:18:35,200
All: steven tyler,
Take us back.
482
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,067
- we want everything back
The way it was.
483
00:18:37,067 --> 00:18:38,300
We've learned our lesson.
484
00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:40,067
- instead of chasing after
What we don't have,
485
00:18:40,067 --> 00:18:41,867
We should appreciate
What we've got.
486
00:18:41,867 --> 00:18:43,633
Isn't that right,
Steven tyler?
487
00:18:43,633 --> 00:18:45,133
- no.
488
00:18:45,133 --> 00:18:46,600
That's not the lesson.
489
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,167
- well, then
What is the lesson?
490
00:18:48,167 --> 00:18:50,300
- listen close
And write this down.
491
00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:55,333
[scatting, clicking tongue]
492
00:18:55,333 --> 00:18:57,933
- I was with you
Until "Diggy-diggy-dah."
493
00:18:57,933 --> 00:18:59,833
- as hot as you all are,
494
00:18:59,833 --> 00:19:03,500
You'd be the least
Hot women I ever slept with,
495
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:05,233
Except you, elka.
496
00:19:05,233 --> 00:19:06,600
- that's the lesson?
497
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,067
- that's what
I got out of it.
498
00:19:08,067 --> 00:19:09,200
See you.
499
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,433
[wailing]
Wow!
500
00:19:11,433 --> 00:19:13,400
- how do we get back?
501
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,067
- well, according
To string theory--
502
00:19:15,067 --> 00:19:16,533
- just do it.
- [snaps fingers]
503
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,267
- [exhales]
Oh, my god.
504
00:19:20,267 --> 00:19:21,267
I can't believe
That just happened.
505
00:19:21,267 --> 00:19:22,300
- now that it has,
506
00:19:22,300 --> 00:19:23,733
How can anything
Ever be the same?
507
00:19:23,733 --> 00:19:25,933
- we can't un-know
What we know.
508
00:19:25,933 --> 00:19:28,833
- my advice is to forget it
Ever happened
509
00:19:28,833 --> 00:19:30,100
Or it'll make you crazy.
510
00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:34,733
That's my advice to you too.
511
00:19:34,733 --> 00:19:35,833
- hey, elka.
512
00:19:35,833 --> 00:19:36,833
Der schnitzel's
Getting cold.
513
00:19:36,833 --> 00:19:40,233
I mean, "Woof."
514
00:19:40,233 --> 00:19:42,833
- must've left the door open.
515
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,600
Welcome to my world,
516
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:51,100
A world
Of pure rejuvenation,
517
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:56,233
And should you find occasion
For microdermabrasion...
518
00:19:56,233 --> 00:20:01,900
* there's sodium chloride
Crystals on the breeze *
519
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:04,000
- * is this real?
520
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,767
* a skin peel
521
00:20:05,767 --> 00:20:09,267
* just by dunking
My head in this fountain *
522
00:20:09,267 --> 00:20:13,067
- * not just that,
Lose your fat *
523
00:20:13,067 --> 00:20:17,567
* at the top of lipo mountain
524
00:20:17,567 --> 00:20:19,033
- * the birdies
In the skies *
525
00:20:19,033 --> 00:20:21,200
* have lasers in their eyes
526
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:26,933
* to zap unwanted
Facial hairs away *
527
00:20:26,933 --> 00:20:30,500
All: * so in beauty land
528
00:20:30,500 --> 00:20:35,267
* we'll stay *
529
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:39,967
[upbeat music]
530
00:20:39,967 --> 00:20:42,367
- * ba-ba, ba-ba
531
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,600
* ba-ba, ba-ba
532
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,900
* ba-ba, ba-ba
533
00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:54,367
* ba-ba, ba-ba
534
00:20:54,367 --> 00:21:00,567
*
535
00:21:02,667 --> 00:21:04,567
* hey!
36371
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