Original subtitles

[Music]

h

[Music]

oh

hello is that you

bear no he's in bed who is this in

bed who is this what's he doing in

bed do you know it's 4:00 in the morning

well give him a nudge tell him I want a

word with him who is this go and wake

him up there's a good

boy are you a friend of his he'll know

me when he sees me oh

yes aren't you going to wake him no I'm

not tell him I'll be in

touch

for

I'm going are you coming in

today

no you had to meet those

people you had to meet those people

about that

order shall I phone them from the

shop you could do

yes

what are you going to

do

Jimmy what date was was it yes I think

we did deliver black silk will you hold

on a minute please Miss Whitney Newsome

the black silk who Miss Whitney

Newsome oh uh it was sent last Wednesday

wasn't it I can't find

it well tell her that I'll look into the

matter I'll ring her back this

afternoon Miss Whitney Nome well can she

bring you back this afternoon she's

going into the

matter yes of course thank you

is something the matter no well have you

got a

headache what time will Mr

horn

he's not feeling very well this morning

he won't be

in

oh

what have you

done should got that stair on all

right is that stair on I thought you

said you were going to fix it I did fix

it but it didn't fix it very

well where's my fruit juice haven't got

any fruit

juice what's you doing over

there

[Music]

what is this pineapple

grapefruit I'm sick and tired of that

stair Rod why why don't you put a screw

in it or something you're

supposed you're supposed to be able to

use your hands

what time did you get

in

4 a good

party didn't making it toast this

morning no do you want some I don't know

I can if you like it's all right don't

bother what are you going to do with

your day today oh go and see a film I

think Wonderful Life you

lead you know some Maniac telephoned you

last

night just as I came in 4:00 came in the

front door telephone was ringing who was

it I have no idea and what did he want

you he was shy wouldn't tell me his name

huh who could it have been I have no

idea was very insistent said he was

going to get in touch

again

who the hell was it I've just said I

haven't the remotest idea you meet

anyone last week meet anyone what do you

mean what could it have been anyone you

met you must have met lots of people up

north I didn't speak to a

soul must to be miserable for

you well I was only there for one night

wasn't I some more thank

you

a

shap

h

hello

hello is that you Bill yes are you in

who's this B move I'll be straight round

what do you mean who is this about 2

minutes all right no you can't do that

I've got some people here never mind we

can go into another room this is

ridiculous do I know you you'll know me

when you see me do you know me just stay

where you are I'll be right around what

do you want who you can't do that I'm

going straight out I won't be in see you

well

[Music]

[Music]

fail

I'm looking for Bill

Lloyd he's out can I

help when will he be in I can't say does

he know

you I'll try some other time then

perhaps you'd like to leave your name

and I can tell him when I see him yeah

that's all right just tell him I called

tell him uh who

called sorry to bother

you just a

minute you're not the man who telephoned

last night are

you last night yeah you didn't telephone

very early this morning yeah sorry well

uh what what do you

want I'm looking for

Bill you didn't buy any chance telephone

just

now I think you've got the wrong

man well I think you have I don't think

you know anything about

it

Jimmy

for

[Music]

I don't want to say nothing but this sit

down has cost you 4 quid already that's

all

right I hope so don't I it's all

right

[Music]

right

[Music]

jaon this

Square

yes Bill

Lloyd yes oh I I'd like to have a word

with

you I'm sorry I don't think I know you

don't you

no well there's something I'd like to

talk to you about well I'm terribly

sorry I'm busy it won't take

long I'm awfully sorry perhaps you'd

like to put it down on paper and send it

to me that's not

possible do forgive me look look I want

to speak to

you did you phone me today that's right

I called but you'd gone out you called

here I didn't know that look I think I

better come in don't you look you can't

just bar into someone's house like this

you know what do you want why don't you

stop wasting your time and let me

in I could call the

police not worth

it

why

got any

olives how did you know my name no

olives olives I'm afraid not you mean to

say you don't keep olives for your

guests but you're not my guest you're an

intruder what can I do for

you do you mind if I sit down yes I do

you'll get over

it

what's your name old

chat where should I put the Pips in your

wallet

you're not a bad looking BL oh thanks

you're not a film star but you're quite

tolerable looking I suppose well that's

more than I can say for you I'm not

interested in what you can say for me

but to put it quite bluntly old chap I'm

even less interested than you are now

look come on please what do you

want

[Music]

cheers did you have a good time in leads

last week what did you have a good time

in leads last week leads did you enjoy

yourself what makes you think I was in

leads tell me all about it see much of

the town get out to the country at all

what are you talking

about you were down there to the Dress

collection you took some of your models

did I you stayed at the westrey hotel oh

room

42

142 was it

comfortable comfortable enough oh

good well you had your yellow pajamas

with you did I really what the ones with

the black

initial

yes you had them on you in 165 in what

16565 I thought you said I was in 142

you booked into 142 but you didn't stay

there that's a bit silly isn't it

booking a room and not staying in

it 165 is just down the passage from 142

you're not far away well that's a relief

you could easily nip back to shave from

165 yes what was I doing

there my wife was in

there that's where you slept with

her wellow who told you

that she did you should have her SE

to be careful

H who is your

wife you know her I don't think so no no

I don't think so at all I

see look I was nowhere near leed's last

week old chat and nowhere near your wife

either I'm quite sure of that apart from

that I just don't do such things not in

my

book huh I wouldn't dream of

it well I think that closes the subject

don't

you come here I want to tell you

something I'm expecting guests in a

minute you know cocktails I'm standing

for Parliament next

season come here I'm going to be

Minister for home

affairs when you treat my wife like a

[ __ ] I think I'm entitled to know what

you've got to say about it but I don't

know your wife you

do you met her at 10:00 last Thursday in

the

lounge you fell into conversation bought

her a couple of drinks you went upstairs

together in the

lift in the lift you never took your

eyes from

her you found you were both on the same

floor you helped her out by her

arm you stood with her in the corridor

looking at her you touched her shoulder

said good

night you went to your room she went to

hers you changed into your yellow

pajamas and black dressing gwn you went

down the

passage you knocked on her door You'

left your toothpaste in

town she opened her door you went

in she was still dressed you admired the

room she'd made it so

feminine you felt awake didn't feel like

sleeping you sat down on the

bed she wanted you to

go you

wouldn't she became

upset you sympathized away from home on

a business trip horrible life especially

for a

woman you comforted

her you gave her

Solace you stayed

look do you mind just going off now

you're giving me a bit of a

headache you knew she was married why

did you feel it

necessary to do that well she must have

known she was married too why did she

feel it necessary to do

that that's got you hasn't it

eh well look it's really just a lot of

rubbish you know that

is she supposed to have resisted me at

all a little only a little yes do you

believe her yes everything she says sure

did she bite at all no scratch a little

you have got a devoted wife haven't you

keeps you well informed right up to the

minutest detail she scratched a little

did she where on the

hand no scar no scar anywhere absolutely

unscarred we can go before a

commissioner of ODS if you like I'll

strip show you my unscarred body yes

what we need is an independent witness

have you got any chambermaids on your

side or

anything you're a wag aren't

you I never thought you'd be such a wag

you really got a sense of fun do you

know what I'd call you what a wag thanks

very much no I'm glad to pay a

compliment when a compliments

due what about a drink that's very good

of you what do you have have you got any

um vodka let's see oh yes yes I think we

can find you little vodka

scrumptious say that again

what that word what scrumptuous that's

it scrumptuous

markless you probably remember that from

school don't you well now that you come

to mention it I think you may be right I

thought I

was here's your up oh huh that's very

generous of you not at

all

Cheers

Cheers come

here

what I bet you're a wow at parties well

it's very nice of you to say so but I

wouldn't say that I was all that much of

a

wow go on I bet you

are you think I'm a wow do you that part

is I should think you are no I'm not

that much of a wow really the blokey

share this house with us though yes I've

met him he looked a jolly kind of chap

oh he's very good at parties bit of a

conjurer what rabbits well not so much

rabbits no no rabbits no he doesn't like

rabbits actually they give him hay fever

po yes it is a pity you seen a doctor

about it he's had it since he was that

high brought up in the country I supp in

a manner of speaking

yes

well it's been very nice meeting you old

chap you must come again when the

weather's

better You' made me spill my drink

you've spilled it on my

Polo I could easily kick you from

here

are you going to let me get

up are you going to let me get

up now listen I'll tell you what if you

let me get up I'm not very

comfortable if you let me get up I I'll

tell you the

truth tell me the truth from there no no

when I'm

up tell me from

there oh oh oh well I'm only telling you

because I'm utterly

bored the truth is that it never

happened what you said anyway I didn't

know she was married she never told me

never said a word but nothing of that

happened I can assure you all that

happened

was well you were right actually about

going up in the lift we got out of the

lift and suddenly she was in my arms I

mean it really wasn't my fault nothing

was further from my mind biggest

surprise in my life she must have found

me terribly attractive quite suddenly I

don't

know but I I didn't

refuse anyway we just kissed a bit by

the lift only a few minutes no one about

and that was that she went to her

room the rest of it just didn't happen I

mean I wouldn't do that sort of thing I

mean that sort of thing it it's just

meaningless I can understand that you're

upset of course

but honestly there was nothing else to

it just a few

kisses I'm dreadfully sorry really I

mean I have no idea why she should make

up all that Pure Fantasy it's really

rather naughty of her rather

alarming do you know her well and then

about midnight you went into her private

bathroom and had a

bath you sang coming through the ride

you used her bath

towel then you walked about the room

with her bath towel pretending you were

a

Roman did

I then I

phoned I spoke to her asked her how she

was she said she was all right her voice

was a little low I asked her to speak up

she didn't have much to

say you were sitting on the bed

next to

her not

sitting

[Music]

lying

[Music]

put that paper

down

what put it

down

why you've read

it no I haven't there's lots to read you

know I told you to put it

down oh you just wanted it for yourself

didn't you want

it I don't want

it

I don't want

it do you want it you're being a little

erratic this morning aren't you am I I

would say you were you know what that is

don't you

[Music]

no it's those church

bells you know how church bells always

set me off you know how they affect me I

never hear

them not the sort of person who would

are you

I'm finding all this faintly at the off

don't touch that

paper why not don't touch

it you have it I don't want

it

would you like a

biscuit no thank you I'm having

one you'll get fat from

biscuit you don't want to get fat do you

why

not perhaps you do it's not one of my

aims what is your

aim

I'd like an

olive an olive we haven't got

any how do you know I know have you

looked I don't need to look do I I know

what I've

got you know what you've

got why haven't we got any

olives I didn't know that you liked them

well that must be the reason why we

never had them in the house you've

simply never been interested enough in

olives to ask whether I like them or

not

hello is that huh is that

35346 wrong

number wrong

number who do you think it was I didn't

think oh by the way a chap called for

you here yesterday oh

yes just after you'd gone

out oh yes

oh

well time for The

Joint Road or chips I don't want any

potatoes thank

you no

potatoes extraordinary

thing yes this chap was asking for you

he wanted you what for he wanted to know

if you ever cleaned your shoes with

Furniture

po really how OD oh not OD some kind of

national

survey but what did he look like oh

lemon hair chocolate brown teeth a

wooden leg bottle green eyes into a tupe

you know me never met him You' know him

if you saw him I doubt it what a man who

look like that a plenty of men look like

that that's true that's very true the

only thing is this particular man was

here last night was he what I didn't see

him oh yes he was here but I have a

funny feeling he wore a mask was the

same man but he wore a mask that's all

there is to it he didn't dance here last

night did he or do any gymnastics no one

danced here last night Ah that's why you

didn't notice his wooden leg I couldn't

help seeing it myself because when he

came to the front door he stood on the

top step Stark naked didn't seem cold

though he had a hot water bottle under

his arm instead of a hat there's chur

church bells have certainly left their

mark on you they haven't

helped but the fact of the matter is old

chap I don't like strangers coming into

my house without an

invitation who is this man and what does

he

want will you excuse me I really think

it's time I was dressed thank

you

what do you think about going for a run

today in the

country I've come to a decision what

what I'm going to go and see him see him

who what

for oh have a chat with him what's the

point of doing

that I feel I'd like

to I just don't

see what there is to be gained what's

the point of

it what are you going to do hit him h

no I just want to hear what he's got to

say

why I want to know what his attitude

is he doesn't

matter what do you mean he's not

important you mean anyone would have

done it just happened to be him but it

might as well have been anyone no what

then of course it couldn't have been

anyone it it was him it was

just

something that's what I mean it was

him that's why I think he's worth having

a look

at I want to see what he's like it'll be

instructive

educational please don't go and see

him you don't know where he lives

anyway you don't think I should see him

it won't make you feel any

better I want to see if he's changed

what do you

mean I want to see if he's changed from

when I last saw him he may have gone

down the drain since I last saw him I

must say he looked in good shape

though you've never seen

him you don't know

him you don't know where he

lives

when did you see

him we had dinner together last night

what Splendid

host I don't believe it ever been to his

place rather nice ever been there I met

him in leads that's all oh is that

all well we must go around one

night the Grub's good I can't deny

it I found him quite Charming

he remembered the occasion well he was

perfectly Frank you know a man's

man straight from the shoulder he

entirely confirmed your story did he

h only thing he rather implied that you

let him on typical masculine thing to

say of course that's a

lie you know what men

are I reminded him that you'd resisted

that you'd hated the whole thing but

that you'd been somehow how can we

say hypnotized by him it can happen

sometimes he agreed that it can happen

sometimes he told me he'd been

hypnotized once by a

cat wouldn't go into any more

details still I must admit we rather hit

it off we we've got the same interests

he was most amusing over the Brandy I'm

not interested in he was amusing over

the whole thing was he but especially

over The

Branding he's got the right attitude you

see as a man I can only admire it what

is his attitude what is your attitude I

don't know what you're trying

to I just don't know what you're trying

to I just hope that you'd

understand

when I do

understand but only after meeting him

now I'm perfectly happy I can see it

both

ways three ways always every

way it's perfectly clear there's nothing

to it everything's back to normal the

only difference is that I've come across

a man I can respect and it's not often

that you can do that that that

happens and I suppose really I've got

you to

thank

thanks you know he reminds me of a bloke

I went to school with

Hawkins honestly he reminded me of

Hawkins Hawkins was an opera fan too

says what's his

name I'm a bit of an opera fan

myself always kept it a dead

secret I might go along with your blow

to the oper one night he says he can

always get free seats he knows quite a

few of that

crowd I might track down old Hawkins and

take him along

too he's a very cultivated blow your

bloke quite a considerable intelligence

at work there I

thought he's got a collection of Chinese

pots stuck all over the room must have

cost at least 2500 a

piece well you can't help noticing that

sort of thing I mean you couldn't say he

wasn't a man of

taste he's brimming over with

it well I suppose he must have struck

you in exactly the same

way no I I really think I should thank

you rather than anything

else after 2 years of marriage it looks

as though by

accident you've opened up a whole new

world for

me

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

hello is that you James what no it isn't

who's this where's Jam he's out out oh

well all right I we straight run what

are you talking about who are you yeah

don't go

[Music]

out you

know you remind me of a chat I once

knew

hin

yes he was quite

tall tall was

he yes

now why should I remind you of

him he was quite a

[Music]

card tall was

he what he was well you're not

short I'm not tall quite broad that

doesn't mean me to I never said it did

well what are you

saying

nothing I wouldn't exactly say I was BR

either well you only see yourself in the

mirror don't you that's good enough for

me they're deceptive

mirrors

very have you got one

what there's one right in front of

you there

[Music]

is come here you look in it

[Music]

too

I don't think millas are

[Music]

[Music]

deceptive

how do you do my name's Harry Kane I

wondered if I might have a few words

with you there's no need to be along may

I yes thank you this way yes thank

you what a splendid

lamp um what can I do for you

uh do you know Bill Lloyd

no oh you don't no you don't know him

personally I don't

no I found him in a slum you know by

accident I just happened to be in a slum

one day and there he was I realized at

once that he had

Talent of course I I gave him roof gave

him a job and he turned up

trums we've been close friends for you

oh

yes you know of him of course by

repute he he he's a he's a dress

designer no thank you I know of him yes

well you're you're both dressed as I

know you you don't know the um rags and

bags Club do you the what the rags and

bags Club I had an idea I might have

seen you down there one day I don't know

no it's a shame you'd you'd like

it

yes I

I've I've come about your husband oh

he's been bothering Bill lately with

some fantastic story I know about it

who I am so sorry oh you

know well it's really rather disturbing

I mean the boy has his work to get on

with this sort of thing spoils his

concentration I'm

sorry it's very

unfortunate it

is I I can't understand it we've been

happily married for 2 years you see I've

been away before you know it's showing

dresses here and there my husband runs

the business

but it's never happened

before what has

it well that my husband has suddenly

dreamed up such a fantastic story for no

reason at all that's what I said it was

I said it was a fantastic story it is

that's what I said and that's what bill

says we both think it's a fantastic

Story I mean Mr Lloyd was in leads but I

hardly saw saw him even though we were

staying at the same Hotel I never met

him or spoke to him and my husband

suddenly accused me of

her it's really been very distressing

yes well what do you think the answer is

you think your husband doesn't trust you

or something oh of course he

does he's not been very well lately

actually overwork a that's bad it's too

you know what it's like in our business

why don't you take him away for a long

holiday in south of

France

yes I'm sorry that Mr Lloyd has had to

put up with all this

anyway oh what a beautiful kitten what a

really beautiful kitten kitty kitty

kitty kitty kitty what you call her

kitty kitty kitty

[Music]

Kitt

hungry no

biscuit I'm not

hungry I've got some

olives really like

one no thank you why not I don't like

them you don't like olives

what on Earth have you got against all

it I detest

them really it's the smell I

hate

cheese I've got a splendid cheese knife

look don't you think it's

Splendid is it

sharp try it hold the blade it won't cut

you not if you hand it properly not if

you grasp it firmly up to the

hillt well goodbye I'm so glad we've had

our little chat it's all quite clear now

oh I'm glad oh by the way uh Mr Lloyd

asked me to give you his best wishes and

his

sympathies

goodbye what are you frightened

of what was that

what I thought it was Thunder why are

you frightened of holding this

blade I'm not

frightened I was just thinking of the

Thunder last week when you and my wife

were in leads oh not that again surely I

thought we'd left all that behind surely

we have you're not still worried about

that are you oh

no just Nostalgia that's

all well surely the wound heals when you

know the truth doesn't it I mean when

the truth is verified I would have

thought it did of course what's there

left to think about it's a thing

regretted never to be repeated no past

no future do you see what I mean you're

a chap who's been married for two years

aren't you happily there's a bond of

iron between you and your wife it can't

be corroded by a trivial thing like this

yes I've apologized she's apologized

honestly what more can you

want

nothing every woman is bound to have an

outburst of wild sensuality at one time

or another that's the way I look at it

anyway it's part of their nature even

though it may be the kind of sensuality

of which you yourself have never been

the fortunate recipient what

that is a husband's fate I

suppose mind you I think it's the system

that's at fault not you perhaps you'll

never need to do it again who

knows this is fairly

sharp what do you

mean come

on I beg your

pardon come on you've got that one I've

got this one what about it I get a bit

sick of words sometimes don't you let's

have a game have fun what sort of

game let's have a mock

duel I don't want a mock Jewel thank you

oh yes you do come

on first one who's touched as a

city this is all rather UNS subtle don't

you think not in the

least come on into first

position I thought we were friends of

course we're friends what on Earth the

matter with you I'm not going to kill

you it's just a game we're only playing

a

game you're not windy are

you I think it's

silly I say you're a bit of a spoil

sport aren't

you I'm putting my knife down

[Music]

anyway well I'll pick it

up well now you've got two I've got

another one in my hip pocket what do you

do swallow

them do

you go on

swallow

it well

caught what have you done let's have a

look oh now you've got a scar on your

hand you didn't have one there before

did you what have you done nipped your

hand let's have a look oh it's only a

little nip isn't it it's his own fault

for not ducking I must have told him

dozens of times you know if someone

throws a knife at you the silliest thing

you can do is to catch it you're bound

to hurt yourself unless it's made of

rubber the safest thing to do is duck

you're Mr horn that's right I'm so glad

to meet you my name's Harry Kane has

Bill been looking after you all right I

asked him to see that you stayed until I

got

back I'm I'm so glad you could spare the

time well now what are we drinking

whiskey let's fill you up you and your

wife run that little Boutique just down

the road don't you yes funny we've never

met living so close all in the same same

trade eh yeah we are you got one bill

which is your glass this one now um yes

there you are oh stop rubbing your hand

for goodness sake it only a cheese

knife all the very best Mr hor well

here's wishing all of us health

happiness and prosperity in the time to

come not forgetting your wife of course

healthy minds and healthy

bodies

cheers

by the way I've just met your wife what

a beautiful kitten she has you really

ought to see it bill it's all white yes

we had a very pleasant chat your wife

and I listen old chap may I be quite

blunt with you of course your wife you

see made a little tiny confession to me

I think I can use that

word what she confessed was that she

made the whole thing up

she made the whole damn thing up for

some odd reason of her own they never

met you see Bill and your wife never

even spoke that's what bill says and

that's what your wife now admits they

never had anything to do with each other

didn't know each

other women really are very

strange well of course you know more

about that than I do she's your

wife hey I were you I should go home and

hit her on the head with a San and tell

her not to tell such stories

again she made the whole thing up eh I'm

afraid she did I

see well thanks very much for telling me

Oh I thought he' become clearer from

someone entirely outside the whole

situation

yes thank

you that's so isn't it B

oh yes quite so I don't even know the

woman I wouldn't know if I saw her Pure

Fantasy how's your

hand not

bad isn't it strange that you confirmed

the whole of her story it amused me to

do so oh yes you amus me you wanted me

to confirm it amused me to do

so

Bill's a slum boy you

see has a slum sense of

humor that's why I can never take him

along with me to parties cuz he has a

slum

mind I have nothing against slum Minds

per se you understand nothing at all

this is curtain kind of Slum mind that

is perfectly all right in a

slum but when this kind of SL slum mind

gets out of the slum it sometimes

persists you see it rots

everything that's what bill

is there's something faintly putrid

about him don't you

find like a

slug there's nothing wrong with the

slugs in that place but he's

a slum

slug there's nothing wrong with slum

slugs in their place but this one won't

keep his place you see he crawls all

over nice houses leaving

slime don't you

boy he confirms stupid sworded little

stories just to amuse

himself while everyone else has to run

around in circles getting to the root of

the matter and smoothing the whole thing

out and all he can do is to sit there

and suck his bloody hand and decompose

like the filthy putrid slum slug

is have another

whiskey no I think I must be off

now well I'm glad to hear that nothing

did happen great relief to

me must

be my wife's not been very well lately

actually overwork that's bad still you

know what it's like in our business best

thing to do is to take on a long holiday

I think south of France the Isles of

Greece Sunshine's essential of course I

know Bermuda

perfect well thanks very much Mr Kane

for clearing my

mind I didn't think I'll mention this to

my wife when I get home take her out for

a drink or something forget all about it

better hurry up it's nearly closing time

Sunday you know

I'm very sorry I cut your

hand you're lucky who caught it of

course otherwise it might have cut your

mouth still it's not too bad is

it look I really must apologize for this

silly story my wife made

up the fault is really all her and mine

for believing

her

you're not to blame for taking it as you

did the whole thing must have been an

impossible burden for

you what do you say we shake hands as a

testimony of my good

will come on Billy I think we've had

enough of this stupidity don't

you I'll tell you the truth oh God sake

ridiculous come along Mr horn off you go

to your wife Dear Boy Leave This Ti to

me

come on Jimmy I think we've had enough

of this stupidity don't you I never

touched

her we sat in the lounge on a sofa for 2

hours

talked we talked about

it we didn't move from the lounge never

went to her

room we just talked about what we would

do

if we did get to her

room two

hours we never

touched we just talked about

it

you didn't do anything did

you he wasn't in your

room you just talked about it in the

lounge that's the truth isn't

it you just sat and talked about what

you would do if you went to your

room that's what you

did didn't

you that's the

truth isn't

it

[Music]

and there's more tomorrow from Alan

Bates with Glenda Jackson and Oliver

Reed in women in love at 9:30 more

details on the way but stay with us

tonight for a fascinating fly's eye view

of a 100 Years of genetic research

Superfly

[Music]

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