Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:06,674
There you go.
2
00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:08,342
I can't believe you're already moving.
3
00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:09,510
Yeah, I know, man.
4
00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:11,445
I was only looking for a few weeks.
5
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,480
I saw the broker literally
putting the sign out.
6
00:00:13,481 --> 00:00:15,683
I double-parked and
damn near tackled him.
7
00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:17,785
Yeah.
8
00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:19,253
Hey, you okay?
9
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:20,954
Yeah, man, it's...
10
00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:22,890
it's just dawning on me that...
11
00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:24,725
we've lived together
almost our whole lives.
12
00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:26,493
Just feels different, you know?
13
00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:27,828
Tonight, you'll be gone.
14
00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:30,698
And I'll be watching Jeopardy
all alone.
15
00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:32,400
Except you don't have a TV.
16
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:34,535
You took the TV?! I bought that.
17
00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:36,404
Because you broke mine.
18
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:37,777
Daphne hit it with a sippy cup.
19
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:38,906
That means you broke it.
20
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:41,841
No. Pop? Pop? Pop?
21
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:43,810
Tell Marty that's my TV now.
22
00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:45,146
Why y'all arguing over it?
23
00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,280
It's just stuff.
24
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,415
Man, stop being petty.
25
00:00:47,515 --> 00:00:49,083
Man, see what you did?
26
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:51,419
Why is my chair in here?
27
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:54,522
Uh, Pop, you gave it to me.
28
00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:56,124
No, as landlord,
29
00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:57,858
I gave it to the house.
30
00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:00,160
For paying tenants of the house.
31
00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:02,563
Which, as of now, you are no longer.
32
00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:04,798
Oh!
33
00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:07,401
My baby's leaving.
34
00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:09,270
Who knows when I'll see you again?
35
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,004
Tina, the boy is moving
to Venice Beach.
36
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:13,607
Which I do not get.
37
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,709
'Cause we are not beach people.
38
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:17,945
Who wants a baby?
39
00:01:18,045 --> 00:01:20,281
- Oh, I do, I do!
- Me, me, me!
40
00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:22,082
- Hi, Daphne.
- Hi.
41
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:24,285
- I'll take her off your hands.
- Okay.
42
00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:26,454
So you'll take her to daycare?
43
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:27,655
Uh, yes, and
44
00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:30,056
I'll meet you
at the Westside Fuse Box?
45
00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:31,292
Okay.
46
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:33,594
Is that my coffee maker?
47
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,130
I wouldn't be surprised.
48
00:01:36,264 --> 00:01:38,499
I saw him packing your bathrobe
and your Waterpik.
49
00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:43,671
Well, it is not my fault
our house is full of her stuff.
50
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:47,608
Oh, you know, I've been thinking, uh,
51
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:51,345
given that my place is gonna
have a lot more room now,
52
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,347
uh, we could simplify things
53
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,047
by perhaps collaborating on...
54
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:57,084
Uh, things are simple enough.
55
00:01:57,885 --> 00:02:00,421
Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying our
56
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,190
beneficial friendship.
57
00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:03,824
You know?
58
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:06,427
But, uh, do we really want...
59
00:02:06,527 --> 00:02:07,695
No! No, no.
60
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:08,962
We-we don't, I don't.
61
00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:11,431
I don't, I thought you did.
62
00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:13,065
So, you know, whatever.
63
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:14,968
Nonstarter, right?
64
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:16,204
- Yeah.
- Like...
65
00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:17,937
We brought you a housewarming gift.
66
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:20,408
Oh, look at that, it's beautiful.
67
00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:21,774
And-and it is so large.
68
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:23,844
I wanted to get you an air fryer.
69
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:24,911
Nah.
70
00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:27,515
This is so much better. Now.
71
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,317
It's delicate, so it needs
72
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:32,853
bright but indirect
south-easterly sunlight.
73
00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:34,188
Also a daily misting.
74
00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:36,289
And don't be embarrassed
to sing to it.
75
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:38,591
Calvin, a little R&B?
76
00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:42,062
Now when the leaves turn brown, you...
77
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:45,432
Load 'em up, move 'em out!
78
00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:47,000
Let's go!
79
00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:58,845
Yeah, isn't this place amazing, Pop?
80
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:01,215
It's pre-war.
81
00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:03,951
Did we lose?
82
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:06,018
Well, check out this view.
83
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,521
Look at that.
84
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,533
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a nice view.
- Yeah.
85
00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:12,859
But these floors are gonna
need to be patched.
86
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:15,429
That's $2,500.
87
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:18,098
Well, that's okay, because I got
a great deal on this place.
88
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,768
You know, and-and this,
uh, drop ceiling here?
89
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:22,470
It's got water damage.
90
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,772
That's $500, if you're lucky.
91
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,907
Okay, okay.
92
00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:29,041
Look, fine, there are
a few issues, right?
93
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,078
But, trust me,
you're gonna love it tonight,
94
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,247
when we all get together on my patio
95
00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:35,383
for my "beachecue."
96
00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:37,618
- "Beachecue"?
- Yeah.
97
00:03:37,643 --> 00:03:38,661
That's not a thing.
98
00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:40,321
Oh, but a "yardecue" is?
99
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:43,491
My yardecue is a 30-year tradition
100
00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:45,125
that Shaq came to.
101
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,495
That man was lost.
102
00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:49,896
He came.
103
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,332
He had a rib.
104
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:54,802
Okay, fine, whatever,
but new traditions
105
00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:56,604
have to start sometime, right?
106
00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:58,238
Come on, and I love Venice.
107
00:03:58,339 --> 00:04:00,107
Look, man, it's vibrant.
108
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:01,942
There's art everywhere.
109
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:04,411
And you can smell
the creativity in the air.
110
00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:06,179
Yeah.
111
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,781
I don't know about the creativity,
112
00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:09,517
but I do smell the weed.
113
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,100
Oh, no.
114
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:19,360
N-No!
115
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:22,596
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
116
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,567
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
117
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:29,402
- Did-did you just buy this house?
- Yes, I did.
118
00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:31,872
No! No!
119
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:33,273
Hey, are-are you all right?
120
00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:34,475
No, I'm not all right!
121
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:35,776
I wanted this house!
122
00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:37,845
I've been waiting
for the owner to die.
123
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,613
What? Now it finally happens
124
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:42,058
when I'm scuba diving in the
Maldives and some random person
125
00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:44,352
swoops in off the streets and buys it?
126
00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:47,821
Um, okay, are-are-are you my neighbor?
127
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:50,090
Yes. Bruce Hargaden. Why?
128
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:52,860
Why am I asking if you're my neighbor?
129
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,828
I'm sorry, uh, am I speaking Chinese?
130
00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:56,897
Whoa, hold on, buddy...
It's a serious question.
131
00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:58,431
Sometimes when I get agitated, I...
132
00:04:58,432 --> 00:05:00,933
slip into Mandarin
and I don't even realize it.
133
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,503
Okay.
134
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:04,271
I'm coming off rude, aren't I?
135
00:05:04,372 --> 00:05:05,673
Uh, well...
136
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:07,640
Let me explain myself,
so you don't hate me.
137
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,042
Unfortunately,
138
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,310
I'm gonna need to knock
this place down so I can
139
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,681
build a screening room
and a gym, so...
140
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,648
I'm afraid you're gonna have
to sell it to me.
141
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:16,884
Oh.
142
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:19,553
No, I'm not.
143
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:21,121
But I want it.
144
00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:22,423
But I own it.
145
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:24,992
Why don't you join a gym,
146
00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:26,732
or, I don't know,
go to the movie theater?
147
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,262
Other people would be there.
148
00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:32,032
And, I would... where would I pee?
149
00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:36,636
Oh, wow!
150
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:37,938
This view?
151
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:40,207
Malcolm, I love this place.
152
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:41,909
Don't get attached
because I'm buying it.
153
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:43,210
Oh, hold up. Yeah?
154
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,644
Are you Bruce Hargaden?
155
00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:46,213
Yes.
156
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,215
Oh, I'm sorry.
157
00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:49,983
Oh!
158
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,886
Oh, Malcolm, this guy's
a cybersecurity legend.
159
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:55,423
He created the graphic
randomizer that powers captchas.
160
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:58,392
Oh, those things on websites
to prove you're human?
161
00:05:58,417 --> 00:05:59,435
Yep.
162
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:00,894
I hate those.
163
00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:05,031
Big surprise, everybody does.
164
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:07,067
I'm so sorry you have to click
165
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,837
on three bicycles so you don't
get infected by Russian spyware.
166
00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:12,305
My bad!
167
00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:15,008
Ooh, that's a space!
168
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,343
No, I think it's too small.
169
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:18,579
Is it?
170
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:21,014
- Uh...
- Yeah.
171
00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:24,552
I just want to see my baby's new home.
172
00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:25,786
Hurry up, Dave.
173
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:28,020
How can I do this faster?
174
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:29,690
Explain it to me, Tina, please.
175
00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:31,959
I would love to know.
176
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,096
Well...
177
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:38,065
I got into your crawlspace,
178
00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:39,533
and, uh...
179
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,334
well, your foundation is fine.
180
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:43,771
Finally, that is good news.
181
00:06:49,477 --> 00:06:51,410
What's the bad news, Pop?
182
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,482
Well, the salt air has corroded
your dryer vents.
183
00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:56,416
That's gonna be 375.
184
00:06:57,184 --> 00:07:00,554
I know you think I don't know
what I've gotten myself into,
185
00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:02,956
but I did my homework, and I'm good.
186
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:04,591
Okay.
187
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,263
Please don't, Pop.
188
00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:11,599
$72.
189
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:17,004
Oh, hey.
190
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,606
Want to help keep Venice weird?
191
00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:20,808
Uh, maybe. Is weird good?
192
00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:22,610
Yeah, weird is great.
193
00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:24,577
My name's Bellamy,
I'm right next door.
194
00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,379
Oh, Marty. My brother just moved in.
195
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,280
Oh, cool. Well, it's great here.
196
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,050
I mean, I've lived
in Venice my whole life.
197
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,319
Well, I did miss
my ride home from Coachella
198
00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:33,753
one year, so I just stayed.
199
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,656
But, eh.
200
00:07:35,756 --> 00:07:37,658
Anyway, we're just trying
to keep the spirit
201
00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:40,093
of Venice alive and stop
rich jerks from building
202
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:41,562
monstrosities like that one.
203
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:43,831
Oh, I actually think that house is...
204
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:46,834
awful! It's a blight on the beach.
205
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:49,302
- See? You get it.
- Yeah.
206
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:51,004
Uh, this is a weed pen.
207
00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:53,273
Oh, my God,
I've been looking for that.
208
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,677
- Ooh, space!
- What?
209
00:07:57,578 --> 00:08:00,681
"No parking Monday to Friday
8:00 to 6:00,
210
00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:02,815
"except holidays, two hour
parking Tuesday-Thursday
211
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,856
"10:00 to 4:00, permit parking
only after 1:00 p.m.,
212
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,954
tow away zone weekdays"?
213
00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:08,589
Feels like that sign is a trap.
214
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:10,849
I'm too scared. I'm gonna drive
around the block again.
215
00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:12,826
Bellamy?
216
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:15,563
Hi, can you and your, uh,
friend come over here?
217
00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:17,230
I'm having a little bit
of an emergency.
218
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:20,267
Well, Marty, this is Matisse.
219
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,069
Hello, Marty. Can you please hurry?
220
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:24,504
Your little party guest
is passed out on the couch.
221
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:26,206
And he's naked.
222
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:27,708
This is an emergency?
223
00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:30,210
The couch is Italian suede,
224
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,479
and he's got his junk all over it.
225
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,549
Look, and I obviously
can't have a naked dude on it
226
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:37,651
when the rep from Campari
gets here, please.
227
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,653
Okay, look, I-I am a pretty smart guy,
228
00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:41,054
but I am very confused.
229
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:44,224
Oh, you don't know who Matisse is?
230
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,858
You don't have Instagram?
231
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,060
Of course I have Instagram.
232
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,796
You got a lame algorithm.
233
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:50,898
I have a healthy and
diverse algorithm.
234
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,734
Please, please,
just excuse my friend here.
235
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:57,337
I just really need
that guy out of our house and...
236
00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:59,672
you're so big and strong.
237
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:04,077
I do cut an imposing figure.
238
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:06,780
You know I be... Oh, wait, no!
239
00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:08,115
He looks way stronger.
240
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:12,920
I moved a chair just like that one!
241
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,590
Uh, Marty, what the hell
are you doing over there?
242
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,761
Uh, where is the bathroom?
243
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,763
I'm pretty sure
it's not on the porch, man.
244
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:24,030
Why is he naked?
245
00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:25,699
I am.
246
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:27,267
No wonder I'm chilly.
247
00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:30,638
Yeah, you look chilly.
248
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:34,608
Where's my cardigan?
249
00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:36,075
Your cardigan?!
250
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,111
How about you find some drawers?
251
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,615
Get dressed and kick rocks!
252
00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,383
Thanks, neighbor.
253
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:45,552
I do what I can, you know.
254
00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:50,723
Better get used
to the public nudity, fellas.
255
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:53,126
It's nearly constant.
256
00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:56,029
Oh, hey, Bruce.
257
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:57,930
Thanks so much for calling the cops
258
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,399
on our party last night.
259
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:01,669
To be clear, I actually
didn't call the police.
260
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,403
I called the FAA.
261
00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:07,808
Because that one invaded
my airspace with her drone.
262
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:09,777
Oh, my God, Bruce!
263
00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:11,178
You are not a country.
264
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,180
You don't have airspace.
265
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,650
So, have you guys met your neighbor,
266
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:17,985
"Narc" Zuckerberg?
267
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:21,287
Yep, he wants to tear my house down.
268
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,323
Oh, see, that is why
we need this petition.
269
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,626
This is one of the last classic
bungalows left on this beach.
270
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:27,887
And these tech bros just keep
271
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,830
turning them into big metal boxes
272
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,281
to make up for their tiny... To make
273
00:10:31,293 --> 00:10:32,700
up for our tiny penises, oh, yeah!
274
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,601
Yeah, how original, Bellamy.
275
00:10:34,702 --> 00:10:36,870
Not the first time I've heard
I have a tiny penis.
276
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,009
You might want to work
on your comebacks.
277
00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:46,847
All right, let's see what we got.
278
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,581
Fire in the hole!
279
00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:52,352
All right, well,
something around here works.
280
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:53,854
Ha ha!
281
00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,823
It's a bit of a fixer-upper, huh?
282
00:10:55,923 --> 00:10:57,357
Yeah, you can say that again.
283
00:10:57,457 --> 00:11:00,427
It's a bit of a fixer-upper, huh?
284
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:03,797
Uh, I-I-I'm Bruce.
285
00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,232
Yeah, Calvin.
286
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:07,200
Yeah, my son just bought this place.
287
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,568
Bit of a money pit.
288
00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:11,271
Ooh, yeah.
289
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:12,505
Hey, uh,
290
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:14,407
just thinking out loud here, but, um,
291
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:17,477
what if I told you
you could turn that money pit
292
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:19,412
into a money pot?
293
00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:23,650
I'm listening.
294
00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:26,419
So, uh...
295
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,555
I'd be happy to take
that house off your hands.
296
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:31,391
Okay, so, uh, what are we talking?
297
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:34,728
Ten percent over what he paid.
298
00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:37,297
Okay, so we're not talking at all.
299
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,331
Had you said 20 and no inspection,
300
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:41,200
I would've been downright chatty.
301
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,369
Deal!
302
00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:44,003
Okay.
303
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:46,774
Fist bump, then?
304
00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:55,047
I got great news.
305
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,850
I just sold your house.
306
00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:06,168
You did what?
307
00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:08,128
Yeah, there's a guy next door...
308
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:11,031
crazy, cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs...
309
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:13,133
but loaded.
310
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,335
Uh, yeah, yeah, Bruce, I met him.
311
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:18,105
I told him I wasn't selling,
Pop, which I am not.
312
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:19,738
But, Malcolm,
313
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,142
I just solved all your problems, man.
314
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:24,011
I don't need you to solve my problems.
315
00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:26,780
What part of "I'm not selling"
do you not understand?
316
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:31,551
The "I'm not selling" part.
317
00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:47,367
Oh, no. No, no, no.
318
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:48,869
Absolutely not.
319
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,270
Please leave.
320
00:12:52,039 --> 00:12:53,505
Malcolm, ah!
321
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,909
I've never been to a beachecue.
322
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:58,310
Congratulations!
I love this new place.
323
00:12:58,311 --> 00:12:59,880
Funky Venice vibes.
324
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,749
Hey, listen, I am actually glad
that you are here. Um...
325
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:05,718
Starting to realize I might have
a little cash-flow problem.
326
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:07,821
So about my book?
327
00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,655
I know it might be hard to say, but...
328
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,758
when can I start expecting
royalty checks?
329
00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:13,226
Oh, that's not hard to say.
330
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:15,027
Okay. Two, three years.
331
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,964
Years?
332
00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:20,433
Oh, damn, no, I need money
sooner than that.
333
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:21,935
Well, have no fear.
334
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:25,238
I have fantastic news
for my favorite client.
335
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:27,440
Mercedes Selznick,
of the Real Housewives?
336
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,742
She has a great idea for a YA novel
337
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:32,178
and needs someone
to ghostwrite it for her.
338
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:33,746
Well, that sounds...
339
00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:35,282
terrible.
340
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:38,718
Yeah, she's an absolute nightmare.
341
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,287
Even for a Housewife.
342
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:41,854
But...
343
00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:44,925
her kids book is
on the Amazon preschool top ten.
344
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:47,594
Nanny Bathes You, Mommy Loves You.
345
00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:51,698
Yeah, Lisa, I don't think
I'm cut out for that.
346
00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:53,466
Oh, I see. I didn't realize
347
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:55,668
we were still in the integrity phase.
348
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:00,840
Oh, oh, there! Okay, okay, okay!
349
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:02,842
Okay, all right. All right, all right.
350
00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:04,743
Thank you, all right, thank you, okay.
351
00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:05,845
Move, Dave, get...
352
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,280
Thank you.
353
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:08,557
Where were you guys?
I thought you weren't
354
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:09,950
gonna make it to the beachecue.
355
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,760
Well, after spending an hour
looking for a parking spot,
356
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:13,552
we finally found
a valet that only charges
357
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:15,722
$12 every 15 minutes.
358
00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:16,957
Yeah.
359
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:18,925
But we were still
a mile and a half away,
360
00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:20,827
so this man gave us a ride.
361
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:23,463
Yeah, uh, Tina,
will you Venmo him $30, please?
362
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,465
I don't have Venmo, Dave.
363
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:29,169
Tina, I've had just about
enough of you today!
364
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:32,438
Malcolm.
365
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:34,606
This place? You scored.
366
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:36,775
Yeah, it's really a beautiful,
beautiful place, Malcolm.
367
00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:39,980
But, uh, boy, parking is...
...no picnic.
368
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,114
Oh?
369
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,050
I found a spot right out front.
370
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:46,119
Of course you did.
371
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,188
Congratulations!
372
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,324
Uh, hey, everybody.
373
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,826
Thank you guys so much for coming,
374
00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:56,262
but, uh, there's something
I need to tell everybody.
375
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:57,830
Oh, before you do!
376
00:14:57,931 --> 00:14:59,366
A toast.
377
00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:01,801
To my firstborn, my baby Malcolm.
378
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,004
You know, seeing you here
379
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:05,938
in your, your new place, it's just...
380
00:15:05,939 --> 00:15:08,640
Uh, Ma, Ma, I'm sorry,
please, let me...
381
00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:11,244
I've decided
I'm gonna sell this place.
382
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:13,880
Well, all right.
383
00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:18,151
I'm just glad the boy's
coming to his senses, bae.
384
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,987
Malcolm, why would you want to sell?
385
00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:23,190
I bit off more than I can chew.
386
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:26,593
You know, I got my first
big paycheck, and I guess I...
387
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:29,529
I went crazy.
388
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:32,299
You know, Pop's been trying
to make me see that, and...
389
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:33,733
I see it now.
390
00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:35,702
Oh, really?
391
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:40,806
Well, did your father
happen to mention
392
00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:44,211
how he spent his first big paycheck?
393
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:45,378
No.
394
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:46,798
What are you talking about, Tina,
395
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:48,847
my acid-washed Guess jeans?
396
00:15:48,848 --> 00:15:50,517
I didn't know you were
a Guess man, too.
397
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,419
How have we not discussed this?
398
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:55,487
Tell him what you bought, Calvin.
399
00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:58,825
I put all my money down
400
00:15:58,925 --> 00:16:01,428
on a convertible Chrysler LeBaron.
401
00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:03,096
Mm.
402
00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:05,865
And could you afford it?
403
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,600
No.
404
00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:10,570
The payments was high as hell.
405
00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:12,105
And my dad was riding me about it.
406
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:14,107
Talking about I was being
irresponsible.
407
00:16:14,241 --> 00:16:17,544
Oh, so you kept your LeBaron,
408
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:20,213
but you're telling me not
to keep my house?
409
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:23,316
Look, son, it's just much
harder than you think.
410
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:25,851
Those payments were killing me.
411
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:27,853
I had to get a second job.
412
00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:31,324
As a fry cook at a Long John Silver.
413
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:34,427
Cats would follow me everywhere.
414
00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:41,034
Okay, but-but did the car
make you happy?
415
00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:42,635
Yeah, it did.
416
00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,903
But I want better for you.
417
00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:47,507
I don't want cats
following you around.
418
00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:52,779
I appreciate that, Pop,
but this house is my LeBaron.
419
00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:55,782
This is a fleet of LeBarons.
420
00:16:57,984 --> 00:16:59,619
Yeah, it is, and you know what?
421
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,720
This time I'm going to do as you do,
422
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,656
and not as you say.
423
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:07,594
Lisa, I can't believe
I'm gonna say this.
424
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,996
Get me a meeting with
that Real Housewife.
425
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,132
Already did. Tuesday at 11:00.
426
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,734
Whoa, whoa, wait a
minute, come, come...
427
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,736
Uh, so, uh...
428
00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:18,237
which Housewife?
429
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,972
Mercedes Selznick.
430
00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:22,774
- I love her!
- She's evil!
431
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:24,311
What?
432
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:31,127
Hate to be the one that's doing
all the counting around here,
433
00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:32,919
but that's 1,500 right there.
434
00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:42,729
Aw. Look at our Malcolm.
435
00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:44,964
All grown up.
436
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:48,168
And has been since the
first Obama administration.
437
00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:50,237
All right, all right.
438
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:52,638
I've got a case of free tequila
439
00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:54,507
in limited-edition skull bottles.
440
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:55,708
Ooh!
441
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,744
I think I like your new neighbors.
442
00:17:58,801 --> 00:18:00,280
- Oh, hey.
- Oh!
443
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:03,316
My hero. You really saved me today.
444
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:04,984
You know, I try.
445
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,854
I'm sorry, uh, what's this all about?
446
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:11,022
Hi! You are?
447
00:18:11,023 --> 00:18:12,392
I'm Courtney.
448
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:15,428
I'm the mother of your hero's child.
449
00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:19,331
I thought you were single.
450
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:22,635
I am single, technically.
451
00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:24,604
Uh, uh...
452
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:26,673
uh, what-what was the term
you used, Courtney?
453
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:30,109
A "beneficial friendship"
is what it is.
454
00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:31,911
Well, uh...
455
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:34,547
here's one of the benefits.
456
00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:54,167
Damn, bro, I heard
y'all's teeth clink.
457
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,204
- Yeah, you did.
- My man.
458
00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:00,773
Oh, hey. Hey!
459
00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:01,907
Oh, hey.
460
00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:03,709
No, hey, hey, excuse me.
461
00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:05,245
- Bruce, right?
- Yeah, yeah?
462
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:06,878
Oh, my gosh, you know,
I've just got to tell you,
463
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:09,415
I love doing the captchas.
464
00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:11,951
- Ah, great.
- Yeah, just-just fun little puzzles.
465
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:13,752
And not to brag, but, uh,
466
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:16,356
I always get them first try.
467
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:19,225
Congratulations, you're not a robot.
468
00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:23,830
So, uh, I got it.
469
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:25,063
Cashier's check.
470
00:19:25,064 --> 00:19:27,133
- Oh, for what?
- Oh, oh, for your house.
471
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:29,669
- I told you I'm buying your house.
- Oh, no, no.
472
00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:31,070
I am staying.
473
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,904
But we had a deal.
474
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:35,107
- No.
- I-I almost shook your dad's hand!
475
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:36,643
We-we pounded each other!
476
00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:38,277
- No, whoa, whoa!
- We did.
477
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:39,955
- You know we did.
- Okay, okay, okay.
478
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:42,349
You know what, look, I-I'm so sorry.
479
00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:44,284
You guys are all so lovely,
but Bruce is here.
480
00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:46,619
And we just,
we don't party with narcs.
481
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,521
Oh, yeah, it's not cool.
482
00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:50,022
Well, well, I don't
483
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:51,824
party, period.
484
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,560
Oh, burn!
485
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,438
That's a sick burn and you know it is!
486
00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:56,962
- You can't give it up.
- Oh, it's...
487
00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:58,998
Okay! Okay!
488
00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:01,701
Hey, hey, hey, hey, come on!
489
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,135
Listen, we are neighbors.
490
00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:05,738
And we are going
to act like neighbors.
491
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:07,540
That's how it is where I'm from.
492
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,141
That is how it's going to be here.
493
00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:12,011
So everybody please just
494
00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:14,381
grab a burger.
495
00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:18,217
Grab a damn burger, I said!
496
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,692
Wow.
497
00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:27,694
He sounds like his daddy.
498
00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:30,062
Yeah, he sounds rude as hell.
499
00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:31,931
I've never been prouder.
500
00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:36,736
- C-Calvin?
- Yeah.
501
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:40,106
Is it just me, or is that
Bruce guy kind of a lot?
502
00:20:56,425 --> 00:21:02,973
sync & corrections by awaqeded
www.addic7ed.com34436
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof