Original subtitles

I'm telling you, Dave, you are gonna love this place, man.

Elmo's is crab cake heaven.

Well, not for the crabs.

Okay, what did we agree about you saying things?

"Don't say things."

Elmo's is not just another restaurant,

it's a Pasadena institution.

Well, why haven't I heard of it?

Because we don't want tourists to ruin it.

It's for locals only.

I'm finally a local.

Eh-eh...

What the hell?

Welcome to Doggy Howser's. How can I help you today?

Yeah, you can tell me what the hell happened to Elmo's.

Who's Elmo?

Elmo's made the best crab cakes in town,

and it was right here.

Oh, I'm sorry, I can't help you,

but sometimes old, sad places close and become new fun things.

So... this is a pet shop now?

It's a pet spa.

A pet spa is not a thing.

Well, fur babies need pampering, too.

Our special this month is a blueberry facial.

Good Lord.

Is that dog in a bathrobe?

He's just out of the cold plunge.

Ah.

That is adorable.

I can't believe it, man.

Elmo's is gone. Just like that.

Well, we've been here for two years.

Two years? Calvin, I thought you said

you were a regular at Elmo's.

Well, I was a regular, but I wasn't a regular regular.

Lady, it's a dog. Let it walk.

Come on, Dave. We're out of here.

Would you like a blueberry?

- Ooh, love one. - Don't you dare.

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It's not right. Elmo's was a beloved

neighborhood institution.

Yeah, but when was the last time you actually ate there, Pop?

I shouldn't have to eat crab cakes every day

to keep a place from closing.

I just hate that we're losing all of our small businesses.

Ah, thanks, Mo. I'll see you tomorrow.

You see that, Dave? You're part of the problem.

Ordering stuff online is killing all the local businesses.

Hmm. You know what, you're right.

Oh, no, please. You can't stop progress, Pop.

Like when you told me to stop growing

so you didn't have to buy me pants.

- Hey, guys. - Hey, Malcolm.

I bought you some tube socks.

Mom, I'm a grown man, I don't need you to...

Wow, these are soft.

What is all this?

Oh, we went to Cost Warehouse for a few things

and bought a few other things.

Oh, uh, maybe make two trips, sweetie.

See, we didn't used to have to drive

all the way across town to a store

the size of a football stadium to buy stuff.

We used to get everything we needed locally,

right here at Mr. Friendly's Bargain Mart.

Oh, that place on Orange Grove

- with the cute little kitty. - Mm-hmm.

Mr. Friendly's?

Yeah, Mr. Friendly's had character.

I used to take the boys there when they were younger

for ice cream sundaes, back to school clothes.

Marty would sit and read the magazines for hours.

Can someone please get the door?

You know, it's a shame Wanda's Beauty Supply closed.

You know, my edges haven't been the same since.

If we're not careful, Friendly's is going to be the next one to go.

My fingers are numb!

You know what we should do is get people to understand

that they can get anything they want

right here in this neighborhood on Orange Grove.

Starting with Friendly's,

then the Tip-Top Pharmacy, Cavanaugh's Sporting Goods,

even that dry cleaner's that's only open from 12:00 to 2:00.

Let's do it. No more big box stores.

No more shopping online either.

Right, Gemma?

Oh, uh, uh, yeah. I'm in.

Less shopping online.

No... No. No shopping online.

Absolutely. Unless it's much cheaper.

Or I'm really busy, or it's super cute, or I'm too tired to drive.

No... Gemma, I don't think you know what's at stake here.

We are locals now.

Eh...

Hey. Hey, y'all know that new

Mexican-Japanese rice ice cream chain?

Mucho Mochi? Your boy got some.

That's not local.

I was on a wait list for those.

Maybe it's not so bad.

Hey... Oh, damn.

My eyes are burning. What is that terrible smell?

Is it that awful?

You might have to leave your couch outside for a week.

Is this why you texted me?

Yes. I need help.

I'm a disaster in the kitchen.

Okay, okay. So, just walk me through what you did.

Well, I followed this recipe, and it said put in four cloves of garlic.

Honey, that's a bulb.

This is a clove.

How do you know that?

How do you not know that?

Because I'm hopeless, okay?

And Marty, he loves your lasagna.

I just wanted to make something special for him.

Okay, here's what we're going to do.

This week, I'm going to teach you how to make lasagna.

Oh, I couldn't ask you to do that.

Oh, no, you don't have to ask. You're family now.

But first, we need to throw this thing out.

Not in the garbage.

- Mm-hmm. - Put it in your trunk.

- Mm-hmm. - Drive to Riverside.

And then drive with the trunk open.

All right.

Oh.

- Hey-hey. - Delivery. I need a signature.

Okay. I'm not expecting anything...

That's okay. It's fine. Just sign.

Gemma, what's going on?

It's fine. It's for me. But it came here.

I must have screwed up the addresses.

Thank you... for your service.

Uh, Gemma, you accidentally had a package sent to my house?

Crazy, right?

It's so embarrassing. What a goof.

It's like... It's like when you're a kid

and you call the teacher "Mommy."

It's almost nothing like that.

Okay, I ordered some things online,

and I don't want Dave to know.

Oh, right, because of the whole "buy local" thing.

Yes, but shipping is free and it comes the next day.

I'm so ashamed.

- Can it be our secret? - Oh, Gemma, I don't know...

It's no big deal. Everybody does it.

I feel so dirty. It's not you, it's me.

Who said it was me?

Oh, this place is charming.

Oh, look, they have an old-fashioned soda fountain.

This place hasn't changed a bit.

Oh, good Lord, is that the cute orange cat?

Can I pet you, little kitty?

Oh!

No, I can't.

Oh, hello, sir.

Uh, I don't know if you remember me, but I'm Calvin Butler.

I don't take any bills bigger than a 20.

You see that? So down-to-earth.

And none of that Apple Pay garbage.

The kids think because they point their phone

at my register, I get my money.

Trust me, I agree with you.

No, but we are here to put these signs

in people's windows to encourage customers to shop local.

There's no room.

Well, maybe we can take down

that Billy Dee Williams Colt 45 poster from 1989.

Excuse me, sir, do you have any shallots?

Use an onion. Same thing.

Do you have any onions?

No.

Sir, it's gonna be great. We are encouraging people to shop local

to support local businesses like yourself.

I mean, we've got petitions,

we're doing social media. It's going to be fantastic.

Okay, how much is this gonna cost me?

It's free.

Go crazy.

Is that hair?

Ew, yup. That is a bag of human hair.

So I take it that's the hair-slash-pastry section?

See there? You can get everything here.

Baby, I can't find anything on my list.

Well, I found everything on mine.

Got orange juice, paper plates,

even found a pack of batteries, size "B."

I've never heard of "B" batteries.

And you call yourself a scientist.

Baby, this orange juice is $11.99.

And a price I am happy to pay

because the money stays in the community.

Mm-hmm.

I live in Tarzana.

Hey, Calvin, uh, are we sure this place

should be at the top of our "save" list?

Or, I don't know, even on it?

Yes, Dave.

This guy is a small business owner like myself.

If we don't support him, how do I expect people to support me?

Hey, I remember you.

You're little Marty Butler.

Oh, yes I am.

Yeah, you used to look at the ladies in the Cosmo.

Well, I-I-I don't... I don't...

I don't think that was me.

Yeah, I know it was you, you little freak.

What part of "banned for life" don't you understand?

Really, Marty? Cosmo?

If you would've just looked in the shoebox

in the back of my closet, you would've found a gold mine.

Are we alone?

Yes, we are alone. I assume you're here for your box.

Thank you, Malcolm.

I know this isn't right.

I cannot believe I have to say this,

but, Gemma, we have got to stop meeting like this.

Don't you think I know that?

This isn't us. This isn't who we are.

What you mean "we"? You promised Dave...

I know what I promised Dave. But I have needs.

Ooh, good, a Waterpik.

Doing all this for a Waterpik?

It was 30% off, and gum disease runs in my family.

I've got to get home before Dave notices I'm gone.

You know, you could at least stay for coffee!

Hi, I'm Calvin Butler of Calvin's Pit Stop,

and I'm here at Friendly's Market, keeping it local,

just one of the businesses we need to rally behind.

And this ice cream is delish.

Hey. Hey, no unaccompanied minors. Out.

Oh, Mr. Friendly, he's with us. Cut, Grover.

Yeah, Mr. Friendly, Grover is making a video about your store,

that he is going to blast off to his hundreds of followers.

58,000.

I'm still not capable of processing that.

Look, we got it, okay? Go ahead, Grover. Roll it.

Here we go.

Do you remember the days of the corner store?

Well, Friendly Markets does.

Look at this Christmas-themed menorah.

Yes, and these: 100 live lady bugs.

They're sleeping.

Hey, kitty.

Look, he's lounging where they keep the meat.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Grover, don't-don't film that.

Shoo, kitty. Get out. Go on. Go on, now.

This place has history and charm,

and if we don't support it, we'll just end up

with another Chipotle or Mucho Mochi on this corner.

So come on down and support all the local businesses

right here on Orange Grove.

Right, Mr. Friendly?

Wha...

I don't want any trouble.

Okay, so your noodles are on,

and you are ready to start making lasagna,

the layer cake of pasta.

Mmm. All right.

Let's start with the mozzarella.

How much?

Not too much, but enough.

Uh-huh. Now let's add some Parmesan.

How much?

Mmm, just enough.

Ah, yes.

Okay, now add a little nutmeg.

Eh, a little more.

Eh, just a little more, you know. You don't have to be scared of it.

But don't overdo it!

Don't overdo it. Okay, here, let me show you.

See? Boop, boop.

You don't use a cookbook?

Nope, it's all up in here.

Okay, now, let's add a plop of

Ricotta.

- How much is a plop? - Two dollops.

- Let me show you. Just... - Okay.

Oh, looks like our pasta is ready.

All right. Okay.

Excuse me, excuse me. Very hot, very hot.

Coming through, coming through. Okay.

Oh, whoa. Look at that texture.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You see that?

Oh, wait a minute, I need an egg.

Okay, let me get an egg, please.

I've got an egg right here. Okay, now all we...

Meat sauce looks like it's almost ready. Okay.

All we need to do is add oil to the pan, and we are cooking.

Yes, we are.

Oh, gosh, thank you so much.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

You guys should've seen it.

The Friendly Market was thriving.

Oh, that's great.

Yeah, my man Grover posted the videos he made,

and they are blowing up.

Oh, yeah. You know the old orange cat?

People are going crazy for the one of him sleeping in the deli case.

They're calling him "Cold Cut Cat."

It's huge. I've almost got as many likes

as the least popular guy in BTS.

Hipsters were lined up to take a selfie with the cat.

One of them got Mr. Friendly to smile,

and he was not happy about it.

Dinner is served.

Oh, this smells good.

Yes, my beautiful, talented fiancée

has made her first lasagna.

And she did it all by herself.

- Mmm. - Mmm.

Um, this is incredible, Necie.

- Mm-hmm. - Oh, thanks.

This is amazing.

I mean, this tastes just like my mama makes.

Mama, you the champ, but Necie could give you some tips, girl.

No, I can't. I didn't make it.

Miss Tina made it. I didn't do anything.

No, no, no. You preheated the oven.

That's the most important 20 minutes.

Marty, I can't cook.

I made a lasagna, I had to drive it to the dump.

No, no, no, no. It's okay, babe.

You know my two favorite things are you and takeout.

Oh, of course.

- Malcolm? - Huh?

Are you ordering stuff online?

Uh, apparently.

Uh, yes, yes. I ordered this. I broke the pledge.

I was weak, but now, Father, I have learned my lesson,

so I'd rather forget about it and move on.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Wow.

You broke the pledge.

It be your own people.

We all make mistakes. Let's move on.

My salad's getting cold.

Well, hold on, honey. What's going on?

Malcolm got a box. Let's not make a federal case of it.

Okay, well, Malcolm...

why don't you open it?

Uh, I would rather not, Dave.

I said open it.

Yeah, what is it?

- Uh... - That's a good question, Calvin.

Malcolm, what is it?

- Leave him alone! - Uh, it is...

It is obviously a...

gold mini rock roller thing, Dave.

Ha.

- Huh. Use it. - Huh?

Well, Malcolm, you ordered it.

Use it.

I knew it!

Look, will you just tell him, Gemma?

I ordered it, okay? It's a jade facial roller.

It reduces fine lines and puffiness.

I never meant to hurt you.

My wife and my best friend's son.

I can't believe you'd do me like this.

Wait a minute. I'm the victim here.

I'm the one who got used. Look, Pop, back me up on this.

Shame on you, Malcolm.

Shame, shame, shame.

Mr. Friendly, what's going on? Where are the crowds?

We're closed. Permanently.

What? What happened? The place was mobbed.

Thousands of people must have seen that cat video.

Heh. Well, so did the health department.

All of a sudden, you can't let your cat sleep in the deli case?

Well, uh... you could never do that.

No, but you can give a dog a blueberry facial.

What kind of world is this?

We're sorry, Mr. Friendly. We were just trying to help.

Well, you did.

Some young women from the west side came over

after they saw the video, and they want to lease the place.

They're turning it into something called Mucho Mochi.

Damn it.

Another neighborhood classic, just gone.

I can't believe you're not upset.

Why would I be? I own the building.

I just ran the store 'cause I'm a people person.

Eh...

Well, since we're closed, help yourself to whatever you want.

Hey, take some salami.

Nah.

I don't want to wake up the cat.

Hurry up, Calvin. We're hungry.

Okay, babe, where we going?

Akbar's Lobster Pot.

Akbar is so grateful to you for supporting his restaurant

with your campaign, he is comping dinner.

Well, all right.

Comped is how I like my lobster.

Ooh, and this afternoon, I bought some yarn at Donna's Yarn Barn.

Wrong color, overpriced, but fighting the good fight.

You know, I've never been prouder of you.

Really?

Master's degree? Childbirth?

Okay. All right, all right, let's go.

All right. Oh, let me just lock up real quick.

Okay.

Excuse me, are you Calvin Butler?

Oh, I'm sorry, sir. We're closing up.

Jake Walker. Thaxton Capital Partners.

We'd like to make you an offer to buy out your property.

What? Sorry, but, uh, it's not for sale.

It's a very generous offer.

I don't care how generous it is.

Like I said, I'm not interested.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a free lobster.

Why don't you look at the offer?

You could be eating lobster every day for the rest of your life.

I don't like lobster that much.

If you change your mind, the offer's in there.

Good meeting you, Mr. Butler.

Good luck with the next sucker, sucker.

Come on, Calvin. I'm starving.

Those lobsters aren't going to drip butter on themselves.

What's that?

Nothing.

Come on, girl.

I'm gonna drip some butter on your lobster tail.

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