Original subtitles

are you excited to be back in England

absolutely

we're gonna go to Stonehenge

I wanna go to Blesby Park

maybe we'll go personally speaking

Stonehenge is on my bucket list

and Lo and behold it's in the backyard basically

Blesby Park's a national treasure

so Stonehenge yeah

but I didn't win the Second World War from Stonehenge

but I'm sure someone so you stopped

you can't answer that good point

also I have kind of a good surprise

what you mean kind of that's an ominous way to say it

well kind of a good surprise

I would be that means to me

I'll read that as it could be a bad surprise

so I know you've wanted to get knighted

and I've made some arrangements

and I think it might be possible

why did by whom

don't worry about it very regal person

very high up there here we go

my name is Jack Osborne and this is my dad Ozzy

heavy metal god are you ready

Prince of darkness and surprisingly enough

history nerd as the old saying goes

like father like son

so my dad and I are doing something

we've always wanted to do

we're hitting the road just the two of us

and a bucket list of places

and things we've only ever read about in books

oh my god this is amazing

all seen on TV and the web

do you have your knife yes

cause all days we might need it

there are no roadies no tour buses

what the fuck is this no boundaries oh

welcome to Ozzy and Jack's world detour

let's rock and roll

well I'm here in my old bedroom

which is kind of weird

because it's still my old bedroom from when I was like

12 years old

so my dad and I have taken this trip across the pond

to knock off some of our bucket list items

but the thing is

I'm actually planning on getting him knighted

unfortunately though

it's not by the Queen

but by this guy I found on the internet

while I was looking up some info on Stonehenge

he calls himself King Arthur

and he just so happens to be a neo druid leader

even though I haven't gotten a hold of him yet

I do think we're gonna be able to pull this one off

so uh

Onward and upward and uh

he who does

you ready

are you ready to go are you packed

I'm ready to rock on

so today we're gonna go to Stonehenge

yeah but I'm quite excited to do this

it's over 3,000 years old now

that's a good builder right

should we load up the car and we'll go yeah

food looks like it's gonna be good in the service

we're taking our own well

it's like a two hour drive

and you like to stop and pee and some okay

okay I don't know

quit micromanaging our road trip

we're not even going to Stonehenge

we're going to California

here we go it's a lovely day Joe

oh it is awesome

he's absolutely locked out

this is a nice car you have the same one at home

and with that

my dad and I were off on our Great British Adventure

our course set 88 miles west of London to Stonehenge

I'm interested to go to Blakesley Park

uh huh it's where they cracked the Enigma code

during World War two yeah

what was the film called Imitation Game

didn't they get an Oscar for the film

they did we have a lot on our plate

not making any promises

we were going to England to go to Stonehenge

you know

I've been of a Second World War buff for all my life

why World War 2 history well

I was born in 1948 and as a kid

I used to think playgrounds were called bomb sites

hahaha how long will it take us to get to Stonehenge

an hour and a half so when we get there

we're gonna bring a lamb and a goat

and we're gonna sacrifice them

to the Druid gods

they sacrifice them yeah

the Druids

think they did like a lot of sacrificial stuff

I mean I wonder where the Druids actually came from

I think Ireland the Druids were Celtic

I think a lot of them were like poets and doctors

but they were totally freaking pagan

and sacrifice animals and people

no but it'd be interesting because I've never

ever been to Stonehenge this is the first time in years

it's fun right

I mean nice to finally be my life since I took it what

30 years hey

it's better than never absolutely

I love you love you too

you're the only other man I've ever loved

haha

look first

Stonehenge sign Stonehenge

my dad is many things he's a great father

an international rock star

how does that work to you

this is I don't know where you're going

but one thing he is not is a navigator

that said go straight

and this is saying take this exit

what do we follow the street sign

you think part of this part of this sign here

well but that that sign said straight

and this is saying say left to go left

but the sign back there said

go straight over the roundabout

am I turning right yeah

I think so yeah

no ramming speed ha ha ha ha ha

10 points that says a sign right there

it says Stonehenge this way

you see that brown fucking tree

no look at the brown sign right there

Stonehenge this way I wanna look

I'mma piss on Stonehenge just pee on it

you have a good track

record of pissing on national monuments

there's a bunch there it is

where Stonehenge where right ahead of you

this is amazing it's like the pyramids

I look like I'm usually stripy shoes walking around

Stanley I told you fine

you look good

I mean they're a bit flamboyant for England

I'll go to your mother think you'll be alright she goes

yeah ha ha ha

are you ready to get your hench on Stonehenge

so you haven't ever been here before

I've never been here

I've pulled off the side of the motorway a few times

I've never actually been here

I like your shoes thank you

hahaha

first thing that lady says to you is oh

I like your shoes

don't ask your family members for advice and they go

ha ha yeah I look fabulous

ha ha ha ha ha ha it's great you're able to come

and I'm just gonna talk to some people

and give them a bit of a tour

so would you like to join in

absolutely how's it going

ha ha good thank you

we're gonna tag along in your uh guided tour okay

let's go towards the stones

one of the things that people say is

they look very small from a distance

but when you get close up

you realise just how huge they are yeah

how much does the biggest block weigh

50 tons I think wow

70 front from the back alright

I get the theory that they could have vaulted

the upright pillars in

but how are they gonna get a 20 ton

one of my theory that they filled it full of earth

and then yeah

dragged them on and then just took the earth

built up a ramp uh huh

I mean the honest answer is

we're not absolutely sure whether we'll ever know

I don't know

but it's one of the amazing things about aliens Stoner

it's aliens

is this the oldest standing

man made structure in the world

of this magnitude yes

round about 2,500 BC wow so quite a long time ago

yeah

uh and then

we know

it was definitely built on a solstice alignment

mm hmm

so the midsummer sunrise comes right through the stones

what is it I read about the sound

the acoustic properties

when you're in the centre of the circle

um there definitely is an acoustic property

even though it's open air

but as well as that the blue stones

which are the smaller stones

they are thought to have acoustic properties

they actually ring wow

very cool is the sound

was that good I'm trying to mention it to your mum

so I end up doing a gig there next week

now when it

when this place closes you sometimes just go

head on in there not me personally

what is the likelihood of actually being able to go

inside the circle we have so many visitors

it's difficult to let everyone in

but we have what's called special access

okay

was there an appointment

that people were normally allowed to go in there

I think so

I think it wasn't roped off until like fairly recently

well I

I suppose we were right in Mary and Jimmy love forever

now if there was no ropes

there were no security

would you have chiselled your name into Stonehenge

no I wouldn't

I probably would I'll bet your name

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

thanks for giving us a little guided tour

that's fantastic yeah I'm glad you enjoyed it

and we have been granted the special access to enter

the inner circle wow

am I dreaming wow

this is pretty cool gonna get in the henge

that big stones wow

this is awesome man

this is so cool

this is like the world's oldest backstage pass

what if the Queen has ever been here

look at it like this the solstice is in June

so June July

August September

this is where the sun it's definitely a calendar

but if you stand here it's like we're back

we're back in August

but

the strange thing with the moss on it is

marine moss only occurs at the beach

they don't understand why it grows on these rocks

aliens not saying it's aliens but it's aliens

can't get over it

we're standing in a building that was built 4,000 years

ago oldest house I've ever been in

air conditioning was little drafty

we should test the acoustics

give a couple claps

this one right here

oh yeah

one one two

just talk loud normally one

hello hey

come stand here and face these rocks

testing

oh yeah you can definitely hear

yeah whoa

yeah you definitely can hear that's really cool

he's doing it too

whoever built that literally left a lasting impression

oh

absolutely absolutely

affect the course of the planet

it's unbelievable

Stonehenge selfie ha

ha ha

I sent mom a bunch of pictures

she was loving it and you know what's interesting

they had crops and stuff once

I had marijuana back then

not here they wouldn't have had it here

magic mushroom mushrooms

sure what's that alcohol wine

wine they could have had wine

I mean listen

if they could build that

I'm sure they could figure out how to get pissed

tomorrow what do you think about

if we looked into maybe finding a quarry

what we're going to Bletchley

well the quarry's kind of interesting'cause it's not

historic I've made a movie about Bletchley

yeah I've got a movie about quarry

sure they have

they've been in plenty of movies

yeah but they got an Oscar

what's historic about a well it's

it's more to help contextualize what we saw today

well bless your heart

help us win the war yeah

what did the quarry do gave rocks

sacrificed itself for rocks

we will try very hard to go to Blakeley

oh come on

hail to you King Arthur

my name is Squire Osbourne of the Los Angeles

Osbourne by way of Buckinghamshire

my quest to get my dad knighted was in full effect

but I had been making calls all night

and I had yet to get in touch with his Majesty

King Arthur nope

that ain't working either

it's uh about 5:38 in the am

this quest is proving to be a slightly tricky one

but if every quest was easy

people would be doing them left and right

it'd be no big deal

we will get a hold of King Arthur ultimately

and I will get my dad knighted

I still have a childlike sense of wonder

the day is young my hopes

dreams and aspirations are strong and confident

so uh Onward and upward

morning I like this

a warm layer oh

it's bloody freezing yesterday yeah

where am I going you're in there other side

too early for me

what a great morning pretty impressive

I decided to bail on going to the quarry

since my dad wasn't so keen on it

but I saw on the news that archaeologists had recently

discovered a brand new site

that they were calling Superhenge

it's supposedly five times bigger than Stonehenge

so I thought let's go check it out

so where are we going now

we're going to super hinge

well so it's not super enough what we just been to

this is like mega hinge

that's like average hinge this is like mega hinge

oh yes

here it is where here

what's super about this place

you can't see anything

field

you smoking dope it is just a field

but using ground penetrating radar

scientists have found an archaeological site

with about 90 large stones

apparently older than Stonehenge

just hidden under a sheep pasture

for thousands of years

we should have gone to Blessed Park

this is great got up at 6:00

so the real star hand now we're looking for super hand

it's a field with trees in

that's it what's super about that

let's go let's go

we're done that was it

super hand it was great

I can't wait to go to Bless You Club

before we go anywhere else

can we just please get something to eat

I'm not hungry well

I was starving

so I made course for England's oldest pub allegedly

this is like some game of Thrones

do you mind taking a picture with us

sure oh my God

thank you thank you so much

sit in the window yeah

there's a cat there where

ha ha ha ha here's a menu

I'm not hungry you're not gonna eat anything

no I've got good stuff

I've got all the stuff that I brought

you're gonna be happy I brought all those snacks

oh oh yeah

this is the raw standard and how old is it

people have been getting drunk in this building

for 1,000 years wow

that's a big hangover

but I know there's different sections

like there's an older part

there's a newer part what to get

I don't know I'm torn

what should I get cat

I am gonna get the fish and chips

sure you don't want anything

I'm fine

oh

ha ha

I'm just guiding the cats

hello chaps can I get you any drinks at all

I'm fine I'm fine

you're not gonna eat no

I'm fine can I do the fish and chips

yeah this is my first key hey

he's the owner of the pub hey

how's it going hi Izzy

welcome to cheers

how's it going it's lovely

thank you very much that's right

that's right how old is this structure

well

initially it it would have been a little Saxon hovel

because they used to make tiles up the road

you would put them on oxen

but the oxen can't go straight downhill with a great

big load they had to sort of meander down

so they had to pass the little Saxon hut

in those days

you drank beer because water was poisonous to humans

it still is in my opinion

but so essentially the Royal Standard pub

was a truck stop for guys hauling tiles to London

and so they would hang out and get drunk

because they couldn't drink the water

because it was poisonous

that's what my excuse is to me ha ha

aha thank you and mushy peas

wow fantastic

can I get you any sauces do you want vinegar

I'll take some ketchup please ketchup

Ozzy are you sure you like it

I'm fine though not even a half portion

uh huh I'm fine

I'm gonna get food envy no

yeah no

it's funny like that you know

living in the States everything is just so new

my sister got a house in Cape Cod so wow

uh so you leave

I was just saying 200 years old plus

aren't you because

um it's great

there's a fishing community up on the Cape

yeah uh

the Portuguese fishing were there

you gotta view it as amazing cities

um

you know what I would love some fish and chips

I knew it ha ha ha

same portion same size

yeah yeah

mushy peas yeah yes

hey no

fish and chips is still the most popular dish

in Britain across the country is fish and chips

sausage and mash thank you

a pie chicken tikka

who knows probably another pie

great pub fantastic pub

I know cheers guys

cheers thank you

it's a good fish and chip

isn't it oh yeah

it actually tastes better than the chip shop

that's what I think

I think it's way better than the chip shop

I knew you'd break

how do you know where you're going

following the Blue Line

I was on a quest to get my dad knighted

but I still had no response from his Majesty

King Arthur so in the meantime

I decided it was time to give my intrepid

but terrible navigator exactly what his heart desired

Bletchley park finally

I've always wanted to go here

I just wonder what's there

I don't think there's much there

it's probably just empty sheds now as well

it's gotta be a museum because

that was actually the centre of British intelligence

during World War 2

the British intercepted secret Nazi messages

but I couldn't understand them

I can't believe that

there was 9,000 people working to break the Nazi codes

and it was all kept secret

I could all be there

I really doubt anything worth Nicki will be there

look at them yeah

all the computers man

I mean typical you

we're on the way to Bletchley

and you're only concerned about nickin'no

it's old habits die hard

before I got successful in the music business

for one thing I had to get it one way or another

no wonder the Queen hasn't knighted you

she's afraid you're gonna nick the sword

after she caps you on the shoulders with it hahaha

let's see 4 miles at last we arrived

and I think we go in here for the pay uh

two tickets please

two tickets yeah

that's fine OK

so that will be £33 do I get the senior discount

oh you do

over 60

which takes off about £2 there we go

you got £2 off oh fantastic

thank you very much thank you very much

cheers so how do you like that senior citizen discount

I don't really like being reminded I'm fucking 67

senior citizen ticket for the pubs off hahaha

dad just look at Churchill

hahaha

that's the iPhone 1 that's the iPhone 3

that's the iPhone 6S first iPad

yeah exactly

it's the iPad

but you know that Blatchley Park surprised out of me

I thought it was an old house with like

a couple of sheds in the back

I didn't realise it was compound

you had no idea during World War 2

Germany was enciphering their messages

they were sending between each other

so they were making them unintelligible

one of the machines they were using to do that

was called Enigma

and here at Bletchley Park

they were working

to try and figure out what those messages were saying

so this is a real this is a real working Enigma machine

not a reproduction

you took some brains to invent one of these

yes it's a fairly simple machine

but

it takes a genius to have the idea in the first place

yeah alright

so here is how the Enigma machine worked

a German soldier would type a secret message

into the machine

and the machine would scramble the message

into random letters

the soldier who received the letters

would use his Enigma machine to unscramble it

I know a bit about it you know a bit

um

they could learn barrels that I could change the color

yeah so

you've got these things here

where you set these to a certain position

and then you start typing

so if you wanna press a key

if you hold the key down

you'll see that a letter lights up

but it's the wrong one

if you press the same key again

a different letter

lights up because every time you press a key

one of these turns wow okay

so it just kind of changes the configuration

a lot of people are basing their knowledge of this from

you know from Imitation Game

I didn't quite understand at the end

they figured out the cipher

because of how they would type

how Hitler at the end of every message

what was it about that one of the things was

the predictability of some of the messages

so Hail Hitler was one of those things that

be fairly confident

that a lot of the messages would end in Hail Hitler

that means that if you you go to a particular message

you can find an area at the end where you think

that says Hail Hitler

and then

you can work backwards to find the right settings

that produce that those were known as cribs

bits of a message

where you were confident as to what they should say

yeah and then you can use that to work backwards

it's still a fairly secure machine

by today's standards really

but how it was used opened it up one of the issues

just to give you an example

the Enigma operators will have to set these

to a certain position to start each message

uh huh to do that

they were supposed to think of three random letters

and then change the letters into numbers

and dial them in here

but of course

you ask a person to think of three random letters

and they don't random is very difficult to achieve

so they used to use things like girls

names and swear words more often than anything else

which is exactly the same problem we have today

when we're logging into our email accounts

or whatever on the internet

passwords are the weak point in cryptographic systems

and that was true in World War 2 as well

but as an Enigma operator

you'd need to change more than just those settings

if I open this up there's three wheels in there

and I've got another one here

you'd have five of these with the set

you can see you've got another level of setting there

wow so you gotta get those in the right place

and then when you've done that

there's another level of setting down here

you gotta get all these plugs in the right place

and there's coming up for a hundred and fifty

one trillion different possible

hundred and fifty one trillion

just for this board down here

wow you put it all together and you've got near enough

1 hundred and fifty nine quintillion settings

that's a hundred fifty nine million million million wow

so no wonder they thought it couldn't get be broken

yes yes

it was like yeah it was like billion million million

million million fifteen million million million

endless endless exactly basically

this was like early text messaging

where you had no idea what everyone was saying

to each other uh yeah yeah

it's emojis hahaha great

thank you very much cheers

nice to meet you and you now

were you able to figure out how it worked

at the end of it no

me neither ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

this is like your your favourite book place ever

it's just all World War 2 books

oh look

Hitler

no that will be the guy that broke the code

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha breaking the code

breaking the code

Alan Turing was a genius

who finally broke the Nazi Enigma machine code

by creating what everyone now calls

the touring machine so what is the machine

it's essentially 36 of those Enigma machines over there

but just in one cabinet what you're doing is

you're using this machine to work out what

the settings of the Enigma machine

that sent the message

when they send the original message

so what you do you set this machine up

we're using 12 Enigma machines here today

and we set the machine running

and when each of those Enigma machines

delivers the letter that we've asked them to look for

at the same time the machine then comes to a halt

and gives us a potential solution

so what's happening now

each of these enigmas is looking

for the letter that we've told them to look for

I don't have any idea how that machine works

I don't get it more on now well

the the top one goes to the thicker one

it's gonna try 26 * 26 * 26 different combinations

about 17 and a half thousand of them

and within 30 minutes or so

he's finished the job and at that point

the folks have the one setting of that machine

out of a possible one hundred and fifty eight million

million million different settings

historians now

have agreed

that the work that went on at Blechley Park

shortened World War 2 by two whole years

and if you do the sums

that works out at something like 14 million lives saved

as a result of what went on at Belgrade Park

any questions

how long did it take to build this machine

the original one just a few months because

you know they had a whole factory at their disposal

but to rebuild this one the replica

took about 12 years from beginning to end

wow did you have a blueprint

we had some blueprints

one of the things that was missing

was the wiring diagram

now there's 12 miles of wiring in this

wow so

the folks who rebuilt this

had to figure out all the gaps

now were you communicating with some of the original

people that worked on it at the time

yes the project started in 1995

there were still some people around

thank you very much appreciate it

you're very welcome cheers

thank you like

all I know is that it would do a bunch of things

at the same time

this machine that would have X million

million codes in different sequences to figure out

it just worked the code I don't know

it figured it out somehow

and it was built by people much smarter than myself

and probably my dad probably

you know well

you had your day yes

I hope you enjoyed it really has been great

has been fun I'm still determined to get united

by this time tomorrow I'm hoping

you will be known as Sir Ozzy Osbourne of the realm

so it's our final day here in England and unfortunately

I have not heard back from our neo druid leader

the majestic King Arthur

and I'm still determined to get my dad knighted

so I think

we're gonna have to take things into our own hands and

uh

do an old fashioned manhunt

morning ready to go

yeah just grab my bag come on in

we're gonna find King Arthur today

the real King Arthur yes

according to him oh he's

it's crazy we're going on a quest father

you're not dressed like a Viking or whatever

there are some interesting pictures of

some interesting outfits

alright come on let's go let's go

so Jack who was King Arthur

well according to legend

he was a British king

something around like the 5th or 6th century

who LED the Knights of the round table uh

and apparently went to war against Saxon invaders

or is it myth

or did he really exist

modern historians can continuously debate if he existed

or not really

yeah and I kind of tend to believe that he did exist

in some fashion so

this guy you found really does think he's King Arthur

I think we should give him a call

we got his number we do have his number

how can he be King Arthur if he's got a phone number

I bet you King Arthur

back in the day had all the modern technology

yeah cool

axes and yeah axes and carrier pigeons

where we gonna meet this dude

I don't know we gotta find out okay

OK you've got food

last food Dragon

see you soon we'll be back later

Hail King Arthur Tis I Squire Osborne

with Master Osborne from Buckinghamshire Hello

sent you a couple of messages on Facebook

so we'd love it if you call me back

and hopefully we can meet

and we can go on a quest together

bye ha ha ha ha ha

there's one born every day

I think it's bull yeah

whatever he is the real one

and if he likes you he might knight you

why the fuck are you doing that

don't you wanna be Sir Ozzy Osbourne

of King Arthur's realm I'd rather be Sir Ozzy Osbourne

of Queen Elizabeth's realm

but if you were to get knighted by the Queen

what does that mean to you

it's kind of coming from a working class background

it's a way I could make my my wife and I don't like it

I don't think she know

the titles don't transfer to wife

what you have to get damned

it'd be nice

anyway it'd be nice

please some jerk of this thinks he's King Arthur

are you one of the on his side

all I'm gonna say is this

if you can be the Prince of darkness

he can be King Arthur

checkmate ha ha

so when I was reading about him

he is kind of known in the community

and if he doesn't call us back

I think we should just drive around his town

asking people if they know where he lives

I think you need an address of the local mental as well

it's a nice little village a Little River

that's a cool building very old cool building

should we ask this old boy

excuse me do you know Arthur Pendragon

no mate I'm not I'm not I'm not allowed oh OK

he just looked at me like

what the fuck did you just say to me

excuse me do any of you guys know Arthur Pendragon

supposed to live around here

I don't know alright have a good one

let's ask this guy with the brisk walk

he looks like a local excuse me

do you live around here yeah

do you know Arthur Pendragon

do I know him yeah

yeah oh

you do I don't know where he hangs out there OK alright

thanks

the key to this is finding people who work around here

like look like they're like Uber locals

oh look at him

here we go excuse me

you wouldn't happen to know where Arthur Pendragon

lives do you

I believe his missus works for the flower trade up by

but Louis Bank OK

I'll go look in there yeah alright cheers

thanks they do know you then yeah

so we just local learn it oh

we have a call

this could be him hello

who am who am I speaking to please

uh this is Jack Osborne

who's this and this is Ozzy Osborne yeah

this is the Queen of England

don't you think no

you're King Arthur aren't you

well I know who I am

but how do I know who you are

finish with my woman cause

people think I'm insane

because I am frowning all the time

that's bloody good Texas

your address we've been looking for you all day

I will on the Assumption that you're the real dude

cause if you're not if you're not

we will joust

OK on iron horses

on iron horses alright

see you soon alright bye

King Arthur here we come

where where where

where is King Arthur place alright NAB says we are here

you ready to do this are you no

King Arthur yes

speaking who's that

it is I Squire Osborn and Master Osborn OK

I'm buzzing you up

Camelot's changed

oh look

that's Camelot

ha ha ha hello

sir come in alright

come in guys come through

how you doing

real quick here's the deal

this guy claims he is King Arthur

and believes he has the authority to knight people

which is good enough for me

what's going on Arthur not a lot

let's get you

you checked us to make sure we were who we were

how do we know you're actually King Arthur

my name is actually Arthur Pendragon

but more importantly I have got a broadsword

that's actually called Excalibur

here it is let's show you

wow wow

and as you can see hand in a half counted broadsword

full Tang full fighting blade and as it says on it

Excalibur

oh yeah it was a bit strange being in the flood

you don't know him he could be the next serial killer

and he pulls out a 9 foot sword

ha ha I was thinking that at one point being like

what do you mean I am King Arthur

and if it's a real Excalibur

I gotta be the real Arthur

real King Arthur so that's yeah

go hand in hand

have you ever had anyone challenge your uh

right as King Arthur often yeah

yeah but I'm still here and I'm still Arthur

is is there a possibility that we can get knighted

there is as Jews

we do have bards in our order

and I think your audition was great

I think you sang really nice over the phone today

so we could do it here

or we could even go off on a quest

and do it somewhere else let's do go on a quest

so where do you wanna go where should we go

where was supposedly the King Arthur of Middle Ages

buried ah yeah

in the biggest open air lunatic asylum in Britain

let's go there fast and break

why is it about me that you have to find me

strange people to see

because it just makes things way more entertaining

there's nutters normal and then eccentric

I I'm somewhere in the region of lower nutters

hmm

lower nut yeah

mm hmm I wanna smack you on the ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

so was King Arthur the kind of Middle Ages

cause I was

I was always LED to believe that it was like a myth

was he actually a real I'll tell you what

I would tell you exactly the answer to that

by the grave okay

when we get down there alright

and then I'll knight you both

let's do it yeah

so yeah you follow me on the bar

I just gotta pick up my good lady

it'll be the royal procession

let's go you're on

there's his iron steed

oh yeah

the old throne

already

well we're being guided to our galliant destination

with none other than King Arthur in the lead

the what have we done what have we started

LED by the majestic King Arthur on his iron steed

with the elegant Lady Guinevere

clutching him by the waist

we arrived in the medieval town of Glastonbury

I'm King Arthur actually

well we're in the ruin of Glastonbury Abbey

okay in Glastonbury

and we're coming up here

to the supposed tomb of Arthur and Guinevere

that they found but read it

it's pretty self explanatory alright

so site of King Arthur's tomb

in the year 1191 the bodies of King Arthur

and his queen were said to have been found

on the south side of the Lady Chapel

this tomb

survived until the dissolution of the Abbey in 1539

then what happened nobody really knows

but I'll let you into a secret

as far as I'm concerned OK

there never was a King Arthur

ha ha ha ha ha or dragons

ha ha ha

I was sitting there thinking

is this guy for real

ha ha

where did that come from

it's a Hollywood interpretation

there was a chieftain called Arthur

I mean when you hear the expression

King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table

in your mind's eye

when you hear king substitute it for chieftain

when you hear Knight substitute it for mounted warrior

mm hmm and that's the reality of it

if they want a King Arthur

why did we see this fruit loop

I think

he tries to embody the mythology of the character

why is he walking around with a 17 foot sword

he's keeping it real so

uh Arthur

what's the uh what's the deal with getting knighted

how does this work well

basically I go off I get me robes

mm hmm and then there's a place that you gotta see

it's called Glastonbury Tour okay

and uh

we'll do it yeah

see you later yeah

see you later we'll do it we'll do it

join the tribe

try not to do that

when they're looking at you like off the side like

he's like looking at you like

what the fuck are you doing

don't don't get me wrong

it's pretty cool to get knighted by King Arthur

but the internet didn't say it would be like this

bear me up Scotty let's go get knighted

Tomorrow's gonna be a new day

because

it's gonna be the first day you wake up as a knight

from the realm oh yeah

how do you feel about getting lighter

so Aussie Prince of darkness

look that's that's

that's the can you hear the music

the ice cream truck that's our

that's the ceremonial music

the ice cream truck smile

look in the in the distance

I don't know what I'm walking into

what would you do if we just walk over there

and it's like a gang and they have to like jump us in

like you gotta

you gotta survive two minutes and they just kick us out

I love this coat it's very nice

it's about to get blood all over it

so my quest is almost complete

either I get my dad knighted or we get jumped

I'm not quite sure yet if it isn't

Squire and Master Osbourne

what I'm gonna do is teach you to do its vow OK

but you'll have to join hands to do it OK

so you join hands and it goes like this

we swear by peace and love

to stand heart to heart and hand in hand

Mark our spirit and hear us now

confirming this our sacred vow

so now join in with us okay

we swear by peace and love

to stand heart to heart and hand in hand

Mark our spirit and hear us now

confirming this our sacred vow

ha ha

we've ground ourselves at the base of Glastonbury Tor

and I'm gonna ask you both in turn

to kneel beneath this sword

and you swear to truth to honour and to justice

and you join the tribe

so whichever of you would like to go first

if you'd like to kneel beneath the sword of Britain

and repeat after me

ha ha ha ha ha Flam's already been here before me

just left a message to speak the truth

yes to honor your spoken word

yes to be just and fair in all your dealings

yes now

this is ancient Welsh Gwynedd and Rhydeth a chavender

and that merely means truth

honour and justice

arise Bard and knight loyal Arthurian war band

welcome to the tribe

welcome to the tribe Ozzy and it's exactly the same

it's to speak the truth yes

to honor your spoken word

yes and to be just and fair in all your dealings

yes Quianna and Radeth

I have you under arise night

and Bar Lola Marie in water plus welcome to the drive

Aussie give us a hug for the universe now dude

are you on or off the wagon at this moment in time

completely off the wagon you're completely on the wagon

you're completely on the wagon

so you wouldn't join us in a tiny drop of meat

I can't no

but you would no

I don't drink either all the more for us anyway

it's great to have met you

absolutely thank you so much

King Arthur stay

stay in touch we will indeed

alright bless you

be thank you

take care well

Sir Jack well

sir uh Ozzy

how do you feel about that

you finally got knighted I think we're all mad

you're the Black Knight Ozzy Osbourne

Prince of darkness global icon Black Knight

how do you feel about the last few days

it's been interesting to say the least

it's a good time right

Stonehenge was good Blesle Park was good

this this King Arthur

a bit strange but it was still fun

is it weird that I feel obligated to like now

Facebook friends them

what's Facebook sir

I've heard of it

I've heard of it you have a Facebook page

if you want I can show you how to use it