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- hot in cleveland is recorded
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00:00:01,620 --> 00:00:03,832
In front of a live
Studio audience!
3
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Elka!
4
00:00:07,058 --> 00:00:08,503
Elka!
5
00:00:08,527 --> 00:00:09,870
- let us in!
6
00:00:09,894 --> 00:00:12,006
- please, elka, the
Tornado's coming!
7
00:00:12,030 --> 00:00:13,942
We're all gonna die!
8
00:00:13,966 --> 00:00:15,276
Maybe she's not down there!
9
00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:17,212
- no, she's down there!
10
00:00:17,236 --> 00:00:19,513
It reeks of pot, and
I can faintly hear
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00:00:19,537 --> 00:00:20,737
the price is right!
12
00:00:22,975 --> 00:00:24,941
- elka!
13
00:00:28,347 --> 00:00:30,158
- why aren't you at the airport?
14
00:00:30,182 --> 00:00:32,060
- oh, those wusses at the f.A.A.
15
00:00:32,084 --> 00:00:33,695
Grounded all the flights!
16
00:00:33,719 --> 00:00:35,230
Now, why aren't
You down there yet?
17
00:00:35,254 --> 00:00:36,831
- elka's not letting us in!
18
00:00:36,855 --> 00:00:38,533
- well, she has to!
19
00:00:38,557 --> 00:00:40,068
- it's the pot.
20
00:00:40,092 --> 00:00:42,303
This must be her growhouse!
21
00:00:42,327 --> 00:00:44,205
- elka, we don't care
About your stash.
22
00:00:44,229 --> 00:00:46,074
Just let us in!
23
00:00:46,098 --> 00:00:47,598
- okay!
24
00:00:49,568 --> 00:00:52,636
But you better be cool!
25
00:01:01,346 --> 00:01:05,015
- oh, my god.
26
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Radio announcer:
Repeating our top story,
27
00:01:18,998 --> 00:01:20,041
The national weather service
28
00:01:20,065 --> 00:01:21,576
Is putting the
Greater cleveland area
29
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Under a tornado watch.
30
00:01:23,068 --> 00:01:24,748
Stay tuned for the
Latest updates and in...
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- what are you doing?
32
00:01:26,839 --> 00:01:27,816
- well, I'm calling paris.
33
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,684
My dress for the daytime emmys
34
00:01:29,708 --> 00:01:30,818
Still hasn't arrived.
35
00:01:30,842 --> 00:01:31,986
- but that was
Lifesaving information.
36
00:01:32,010 --> 00:01:34,288
- yeah, so is this.
37
00:01:34,312 --> 00:01:37,224
oui, hello? C'est moi encore.
38
00:01:37,248 --> 00:01:40,262
chercher ma robe maintenant,
Ou des tetes tomberont!
39
00:01:40,286 --> 00:01:42,964
- bloody french.
40
00:01:42,988 --> 00:01:44,499
- you don't even know
Who she's talking to.
41
00:01:44,523 --> 00:01:46,901
- don't need to.
42
00:01:46,925 --> 00:01:48,637
What's happening?
43
00:01:48,661 --> 00:01:50,571
- if my one-of-a-kind
Couture gown
44
00:01:50,595 --> 00:01:52,273
Doesn't arrive within the hour,
45
00:01:52,297 --> 00:01:55,277
Then my private jet'll never
Make it to l.A. By showtime.
46
00:01:55,301 --> 00:01:56,978
- who'd you have to sleep
With to get a private jet
47
00:01:57,002 --> 00:01:59,714
Out of of cleveland?
48
00:01:59,738 --> 00:02:01,883
- I resent that comment.
49
00:02:01,907 --> 00:02:04,953
And it's not who think.
50
00:02:04,977 --> 00:02:06,755
- even if your
Dress does arrive,
51
00:02:06,779 --> 00:02:08,990
You're never gonna be
Able to fly in this weather.
52
00:02:09,014 --> 00:02:10,525
- ah, weather be damned.
53
00:02:10,549 --> 00:02:12,928
'cause now that edge of
Tomorrow is been canceled,
54
00:02:12,952 --> 00:02:15,831
This'll be my very last chance
To show that susan lucci
55
00:02:15,855 --> 00:02:19,500
Who the real
Queen of daytime is.
56
00:02:19,524 --> 00:02:23,872
- judge judy?
57
00:02:23,896 --> 00:02:27,108
- you know, darling...
58
00:02:27,132 --> 00:02:28,609
Instead of making fun,
59
00:02:28,633 --> 00:02:29,644
Perhaps you should go and find
60
00:02:29,668 --> 00:02:32,180
The bottom half of your skirt.
61
00:02:32,204 --> 00:02:34,483
- I have a date.
- oh!
62
00:02:34,507 --> 00:02:35,951
- oh, why pretend?
63
00:02:35,975 --> 00:02:38,986
It's a booty call.
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00:02:39,010 --> 00:02:40,021
- booty call.
65
00:02:40,045 --> 00:02:41,256
Do people still say that?
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00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:44,292
- people do, but I'm
Not sure joy should.
67
00:02:44,316 --> 00:02:46,695
- remember that hot
Guy at the coffee shop?
68
00:02:46,719 --> 00:02:48,930
- oh, yeah, the one with
No long-term potential.
69
00:02:48,954 --> 00:02:50,664
- well, I've decided
All I need him for
70
00:02:50,688 --> 00:02:51,665
Is the short term.
71
00:02:51,689 --> 00:02:53,067
I don't mean to be crude,
72
00:02:53,091 --> 00:02:57,471
But I really need
A good rogering.
73
00:02:57,495 --> 00:03:00,141
- in this weather?
74
00:03:00,165 --> 00:03:02,110
- "In this weather"?
75
00:03:02,134 --> 00:03:03,678
- oh, would you relax?
76
00:03:03,702 --> 00:03:05,813
Elka says tornadoes
Never hit cleveland.
77
00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:10,151
- she also said
Lebron wouldn't leave.
78
00:03:10,175 --> 00:03:12,553
- look... I'm the only one here
79
00:03:12,577 --> 00:03:13,955
Who hasn't gotten lucky.
80
00:03:13,979 --> 00:03:15,689
I've dated the guy I
Thought was my son
81
00:03:15,713 --> 00:03:17,358
And the guy I thought
Was a murderer.
82
00:03:17,382 --> 00:03:20,995
But for whatever reasons,
Those did not work out.
83
00:03:21,019 --> 00:03:22,964
- so what do you
Know about this guy?
84
00:03:22,988 --> 00:03:24,999
- nothing! And that's
The beauty of it.
85
00:03:25,023 --> 00:03:26,701
I only need to know
What he's going to do
86
00:03:26,725 --> 00:03:28,370
Between 12:00 and 1:00.
87
00:03:28,394 --> 00:03:30,493
Or 12:00 to 12:18.
88
00:03:32,264 --> 00:03:33,530
I've clocked it.
89
00:03:35,734 --> 00:03:37,212
- well, just keep your phone on,
90
00:03:37,236 --> 00:03:38,646
Because if this
Tornado gets any worse,
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00:03:38,670 --> 00:03:39,681
I want to be able
To get a hold of you.
92
00:03:39,705 --> 00:03:41,516
- fine.
93
00:03:41,540 --> 00:03:43,952
- oh, my god, look at that wind!
94
00:03:43,976 --> 00:03:45,754
Her clothes are
Gonna fly right off!
95
00:03:45,778 --> 00:03:46,977
- that's the plan!
96
00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:52,193
- what is all this stuff?
97
00:03:52,217 --> 00:03:56,364
I feel like I'm in the goonies.
98
00:03:56,388 --> 00:03:57,732
- wow.
99
00:03:57,756 --> 00:03:59,099
Is this stuff real?
100
00:03:59,123 --> 00:04:01,502
- is that a tiara?
101
00:04:01,526 --> 00:04:02,892
Who are you?
102
00:04:06,098 --> 00:04:07,842
- I'm anastasia,
103
00:04:07,866 --> 00:04:11,401
The last surviving member
Of the romanov dynasty.
104
00:04:14,806 --> 00:04:16,050
- you are?
105
00:04:16,074 --> 00:04:19,242
- no, but I've always
Wanted to say that.
106
00:04:21,446 --> 00:04:23,091
- is all of this yours?
107
00:04:23,115 --> 00:04:25,026
- no, it's stolen.
108
00:04:25,050 --> 00:04:27,295
- oh, my god.
109
00:04:27,319 --> 00:04:31,199
- and now I'm going
To have to kill you!
110
00:04:31,223 --> 00:04:34,323
I've always wanted
To say that too.
111
00:04:38,797 --> 00:04:39,808
- so you're a jewel thief?
112
00:04:39,832 --> 00:04:40,942
- how could that be?
113
00:04:40,966 --> 00:04:45,813
It takes you 20 minutes
To walk to our mailbox.
114
00:04:45,837 --> 00:04:48,716
- it's not mine.
It's my husband's.
115
00:04:48,740 --> 00:04:50,618
- but I thought you told us
Your husband was an accountant?
116
00:04:50,642 --> 00:04:51,886
- he was.
117
00:04:51,910 --> 00:04:53,654
But... After he died,
118
00:04:53,678 --> 00:04:59,293
I discovered he was
Also a fence for the mob.
119
00:04:59,317 --> 00:05:01,829
- wow, and you never knew?
120
00:05:01,853 --> 00:05:04,299
- well, he never let me in here.
121
00:05:04,323 --> 00:05:08,336
I thought he was
Hiding girly magazines.
122
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:11,339
Oh, I was so relieved.
123
00:05:11,363 --> 00:05:12,573
- well, why didn't you ever
124
00:05:12,597 --> 00:05:14,142
Turn all this
Stuff into the cops?
125
00:05:14,166 --> 00:05:16,911
- and ruin my
Husband's good name?
126
00:05:16,935 --> 00:05:18,947
- you know, holding
On to all of this stuff
127
00:05:18,971 --> 00:05:20,314
Makes you an accessory.
128
00:05:20,338 --> 00:05:22,116
I mean, you could go to jail.
129
00:05:22,140 --> 00:05:25,253
- well, there's that too.
130
00:05:25,277 --> 00:05:27,655
- so are we the only
People who have seen this?
131
00:05:27,679 --> 00:05:30,291
- well, there was one time...
132
00:05:30,315 --> 00:05:32,426
- what you have
Here, mrs. Smith,
133
00:05:32,450 --> 00:05:35,796
Is a genuine faberge egg.
134
00:05:35,820 --> 00:05:37,654
- oh, what?
135
00:05:39,323 --> 00:05:42,291
I couldn't resist.
I love that show.
136
00:05:44,363 --> 00:05:45,973
- this stuff is so shiny.
137
00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:47,008
- isn't it?
138
00:05:47,032 --> 00:05:49,711
I use a mixture
Of herbs and such
139
00:05:49,735 --> 00:05:53,814
for a special polish polish.
140
00:05:53,838 --> 00:05:55,349
- oh, my god.
141
00:05:55,373 --> 00:05:58,152
This is what smells like pot.
142
00:05:58,176 --> 00:06:00,722
This is why you
Always smell like pot.
143
00:06:00,746 --> 00:06:02,323
Why didn't you tell me?
144
00:06:02,347 --> 00:06:05,080
- it was fun messing with you.
145
00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:11,265
- ohh!
146
00:06:11,289 --> 00:06:12,366
Oh, my god, we're all gonna die.
147
00:06:12,390 --> 00:06:14,068
- melanie, melanie, it's okay.
148
00:06:14,092 --> 00:06:15,836
Victoria,
149
00:06:15,860 --> 00:06:19,807
Do you have a pill that
Can help with this situation?
150
00:06:19,831 --> 00:06:21,142
- to share?
151
00:06:23,268 --> 00:06:26,247
- I have some potato
Whisky right here.
152
00:06:26,271 --> 00:06:28,104
Grab some roman goblets.
153
00:06:31,242 --> 00:06:33,688
- here, make mine a double.
154
00:06:33,712 --> 00:06:38,226
Ohh, I cannot believe
That I'm trapped down here.
155
00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:39,594
When a beloved artist
156
00:06:39,618 --> 00:06:42,630
Inhabits an unforgettable
Role like honor st. Raven
157
00:06:42,654 --> 00:06:44,798
For the past 27 years,
158
00:06:44,822 --> 00:06:47,402
And cannot get to the
Daytime emmy awards
159
00:06:47,426 --> 00:06:51,172
To receive her public
Lauding from her peers
160
00:06:51,196 --> 00:06:54,708
After being overlooked
For such a long time...
161
00:06:54,732 --> 00:06:57,266
Well, then the
Terrorists have won.
162
00:07:00,205 --> 00:07:02,850
- listen, even if
You can't be there
163
00:07:02,874 --> 00:07:04,685
To get the award,
You could still win.
164
00:07:04,709 --> 00:07:06,053
- oh, but what's the point,
165
00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:09,223
If I can't personally
Rub it in lucci's face?
166
00:07:09,247 --> 00:07:11,058
- I'm sorry, forget
About the emmy.
167
00:07:11,082 --> 00:07:12,126
Let's put the tiara on.
168
00:07:12,150 --> 00:07:13,616
Oh, where'd it go?
169
00:07:19,458 --> 00:07:20,534
- I needed cheering up.
170
00:07:20,558 --> 00:07:22,970
Something kind of
Big happened today.
171
00:07:22,994 --> 00:07:24,038
- what?
172
00:07:24,062 --> 00:07:26,440
- she had sex with a stranger.
173
00:07:26,464 --> 00:07:28,831
- how much did you pay him?
174
00:07:33,505 --> 00:07:35,183
- I'd be happy to
Insult you back,
175
00:07:35,207 --> 00:07:36,584
But I'm still kind of on edge.
176
00:07:36,608 --> 00:07:38,775
- sounds like you
Didn't pay him enough.
177
00:07:46,318 --> 00:07:48,630
- joy, what happened?
178
00:07:48,654 --> 00:07:50,464
- it started off great.
179
00:07:50,488 --> 00:07:52,133
I was feeling so liberated.
180
00:07:52,157 --> 00:07:54,168
Since I knew there was no
Future in the relationship,
181
00:07:54,192 --> 00:07:56,737
I didn't care about the
Things I normally would.
182
00:07:56,761 --> 00:08:01,475
- would you like a back
Massage or... Whatnot?
183
00:08:01,499 --> 00:08:03,477
- I just want to do it.
184
00:08:03,501 --> 00:08:05,446
And, time permitting,
Do it again.
185
00:08:05,470 --> 00:08:06,580
- awesome.
186
00:08:06,604 --> 00:08:07,981
Maybe we could hook
Up with some funyuns
187
00:08:08,005 --> 00:08:09,238
In between rounds.
188
00:08:11,343 --> 00:08:13,921
- and none of this
Was turning you on?
189
00:08:13,945 --> 00:08:15,155
- no.
190
00:08:15,179 --> 00:08:16,491
- I wouldn't say it was
Turning me on more,
191
00:08:16,515 --> 00:08:18,459
But it wasn't turning me off.
192
00:08:18,483 --> 00:08:20,495
I was just looking out
For my own pleasure.
193
00:08:20,519 --> 00:08:22,318
- I like funyuns.
194
00:08:32,797 --> 00:08:35,142
- it's probably just
My friend melanie.
195
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:37,445
- she available for round two?
196
00:08:37,469 --> 00:08:38,746
- that's just...
197
00:08:38,770 --> 00:08:39,902
Oh, who cares?
198
00:08:44,342 --> 00:08:47,522
I'm sorry, she's kind of
Freaked out about the weather.
199
00:08:47,546 --> 00:08:50,725
- I think weather's cool.
200
00:08:50,749 --> 00:08:52,482
- maybe don't talk.
201
00:08:55,019 --> 00:08:57,065
Oh, god.
202
00:08:57,089 --> 00:08:59,534
The message isn't
From my friend.
203
00:08:59,558 --> 00:09:01,458
It's from my son.
204
00:09:05,063 --> 00:09:06,373
- oh, my god.
- I know!
205
00:09:06,397 --> 00:09:08,743
- is that the son you
Put up for adoption?
206
00:09:08,767 --> 00:09:10,578
- I don't have any others.
207
00:09:10,602 --> 00:09:12,902
- you never know with you.
208
00:09:19,578 --> 00:09:21,422
- the website I used to find him
209
00:09:21,446 --> 00:09:22,590
Gave him my information.
210
00:09:22,614 --> 00:09:24,058
- and he was
Looking for you too?
211
00:09:24,082 --> 00:09:25,392
That's amazing.
212
00:09:25,416 --> 00:09:27,562
- well, the nooner
Thought differently.
213
00:09:27,586 --> 00:09:29,997
- did you even know
The nooner's name?
214
00:09:30,021 --> 00:09:33,322
- not well enough
To use confidently.
215
00:09:35,393 --> 00:09:37,772
- uh, can't you
Talk to him later?
216
00:09:37,796 --> 00:09:41,075
- no, you don't
Understand, da... Fra...
217
00:09:41,099 --> 00:09:42,099
Dude.
218
00:09:45,370 --> 00:09:47,214
This is a big deal.
219
00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:48,683
See, I gave him up for adoption,
220
00:09:48,707 --> 00:09:51,686
And this is the first time
I've heard from him, ever.
221
00:09:51,710 --> 00:09:53,087
What should I say?
222
00:09:53,111 --> 00:09:55,556
- when my mom has guys over,
223
00:09:55,580 --> 00:09:57,091
She says she's taking a nap.
224
00:09:59,751 --> 00:10:01,362
- just kind of
Emotional right now.
225
00:10:01,386 --> 00:10:02,885
- oh, great.
226
00:10:05,390 --> 00:10:07,368
- see, a million years ago,
227
00:10:07,392 --> 00:10:09,236
My boyfriend and I were
In a little hotel room,
228
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:10,671
Just like this one.
229
00:10:10,695 --> 00:10:12,640
We used a condom and everything,
230
00:10:12,664 --> 00:10:13,941
But fertile myrtle over here
231
00:10:13,965 --> 00:10:15,810
Gets pregnant
The first time out.
232
00:10:15,834 --> 00:10:17,377
All the women in my family
233
00:10:17,401 --> 00:10:19,535
Get pregnant at
The drop of a hat.
234
00:10:21,339 --> 00:10:23,117
- wait... Where are you going?
235
00:10:23,141 --> 00:10:25,753
- listen... I love sex,
236
00:10:25,777 --> 00:10:27,888
But, truth is...
237
00:10:27,912 --> 00:10:32,793
My mom's place doesn't
Have any room for kids, so...
238
00:10:32,817 --> 00:10:34,127
- oh, go ahead.
239
00:10:34,151 --> 00:10:36,062
I don't need sex with you.
240
00:10:36,086 --> 00:10:37,486
I have my son.
241
00:10:42,260 --> 00:10:44,071
- you said that?
242
00:10:44,095 --> 00:10:45,939
- oh, you know what I meant.
243
00:10:45,963 --> 00:10:47,741
- well, what did you end up
Writing back to your son?
244
00:10:47,765 --> 00:10:48,975
- nothing.
245
00:10:48,999 --> 00:10:50,777
The storm knocked
Out all of the reception.
246
00:10:50,801 --> 00:10:53,146
Now I'm dying to tell him
How much I want to meet him,
247
00:10:53,170 --> 00:10:55,316
And he's someplace
Thinking I don't care.
248
00:10:55,340 --> 00:10:57,351
- oh, he's not thinking that.
249
00:10:57,375 --> 00:10:59,153
Oh, guh!
250
00:10:59,177 --> 00:11:00,821
That sounds horrible.
251
00:11:00,845 --> 00:11:02,356
And pete's out there.
252
00:11:02,380 --> 00:11:04,158
They called up all
The first responders.
253
00:11:04,182 --> 00:11:06,694
- ugh, I could never
Be a first responder.
254
00:11:06,718 --> 00:11:09,496
Maybe a fifth
Responder, you know.
255
00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:12,421
It's all cleaned up,
And the press can get in.
256
00:11:16,194 --> 00:11:17,604
- I just hope he's okay.
257
00:11:17,628 --> 00:11:19,473
- oh, I'm sure he's fine.
258
00:11:19,497 --> 00:11:21,842
He's probably someplace
Safe, wondering if you're okay.
259
00:11:21,866 --> 00:11:23,310
- well, actually, I'm not sure
260
00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:25,178
He's really thinking
About me right now.
261
00:11:25,202 --> 00:11:27,881
'cause I said something
I shouldn't have.
262
00:11:27,905 --> 00:11:30,183
Earlier today, I
Was calling my kids
263
00:11:30,207 --> 00:11:31,184
To calmly assure them
264
00:11:31,208 --> 00:11:32,686
That I was fine.
265
00:11:32,710 --> 00:11:34,455
- this may be the last
Time I ever speak to you.
266
00:11:34,479 --> 00:11:35,522
I just want you to
Know that I love you.
267
00:11:35,546 --> 00:11:37,558
I love you so much.
268
00:11:37,582 --> 00:11:38,892
Please don't worry,
269
00:11:38,916 --> 00:11:40,528
But...
270
00:11:40,552 --> 00:11:42,996
Please save this message...
271
00:11:43,020 --> 00:11:45,121
For the grandkids.
272
00:11:46,224 --> 00:11:48,068
Aah! Aah!
273
00:11:48,092 --> 00:11:49,203
Oh! Pete!
274
00:11:49,227 --> 00:11:50,804
Oh, my god! You're alive!
275
00:11:50,828 --> 00:11:53,173
I'm so happy!
276
00:11:53,197 --> 00:11:54,208
- am I getting a little insight
277
00:11:54,232 --> 00:11:55,276
Into how you handle a crisis?
278
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:57,078
- oh, my god, this is a crisis?
279
00:11:57,102 --> 00:11:59,680
- look, baby, I'm pretty
Sure the safety's on,
280
00:11:59,704 --> 00:12:00,914
But you're straddling my gun.
281
00:12:00,938 --> 00:12:02,183
- oh, sorry.
282
00:12:02,207 --> 00:12:04,184
- be truthful. How
Bad is it out there?
283
00:12:04,208 --> 00:12:05,385
- no, there's no need to panic.
284
00:12:05,409 --> 00:12:06,486
Did you get your
Emergency supplies together,
285
00:12:06,510 --> 00:12:07,788
Like I told you?
286
00:12:07,812 --> 00:12:09,489
- yes, I packed my
Shoes and my makeup,
287
00:12:09,513 --> 00:12:13,127
And my clothing iron
Runs on batteries.
288
00:12:13,151 --> 00:12:15,195
What? Those are
Emergency supplies in l.A.
289
00:12:15,219 --> 00:12:17,198
I'm still learning here.
290
00:12:17,222 --> 00:12:20,301
- you know, you are...
291
00:12:20,325 --> 00:12:22,658
Too cute.
292
00:12:26,130 --> 00:12:27,574
- ahem.
293
00:12:27,598 --> 00:12:29,409
Well?
294
00:12:29,433 --> 00:12:31,979
- oh, my god, you look gorgeous!
295
00:12:32,003 --> 00:12:33,146
- ohh.
296
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:34,715
- um, this is your idea
Of an emergency outfit?
297
00:12:34,739 --> 00:12:37,885
I really don't think you women
Are thinking this through.
298
00:12:37,909 --> 00:12:39,653
- no, she's dressed for
The daytime emmy awards.
299
00:12:39,677 --> 00:12:41,855
- you know, with any
Luck, if I leave now,
300
00:12:41,879 --> 00:12:43,523
I'll miss the tribute
To barker's beauties,
301
00:12:43,547 --> 00:12:46,693
But make it in time
For everything else.
302
00:12:46,717 --> 00:12:49,229
- would you please
Tell her that she is crazy
303
00:12:49,253 --> 00:12:51,098
To get on a plane
In this weather?
304
00:12:51,122 --> 00:12:53,200
- well, she can get on it,
But it's not going anywhere.
305
00:12:53,224 --> 00:12:55,703
- oh. Oh, pete.
306
00:12:55,727 --> 00:13:00,774
Dear, sweet, small-town pete.
307
00:13:00,798 --> 00:13:03,610
How can I put this in a
Way that won't offend you?
308
00:13:03,634 --> 00:13:05,946
- oh, I'm dying to find out.
309
00:13:05,970 --> 00:13:08,048
- well, here's how it
Works with celebrities.
310
00:13:08,072 --> 00:13:10,984
No matter what the weather,
Our private planes take off.
311
00:13:11,008 --> 00:13:13,253
And no matter how many
Infractions against the law
312
00:13:13,277 --> 00:13:15,089
We allegedly commit,
313
00:13:15,113 --> 00:13:19,159
Our autographs
Make it all go away.
314
00:13:19,183 --> 00:13:20,194
Do you understand?
315
00:13:20,218 --> 00:13:21,562
- yeah, I think so, uh...
316
00:13:21,586 --> 00:13:22,629
Well, you better get out there.
317
00:13:22,653 --> 00:13:24,265
- oh, good man.
318
00:13:24,289 --> 00:13:29,436
You know, I think there might
Be an autograph in your future.
319
00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:30,525
Wish me luck.
320
00:13:33,965 --> 00:13:35,208
Okay, victoria...
321
00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:36,710
We can do this.
322
00:13:36,734 --> 00:13:39,713
I played a lady storm
Chaser in the lifetime movie,
323
00:13:39,737 --> 00:13:41,749
lady storm chasers.
324
00:13:41,773 --> 00:13:46,453
I've been through
Much worse than this.
325
00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:47,922
- don't worry. She's
Not going anywhere.
326
00:13:47,946 --> 00:13:49,256
- okay.
327
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,659
- attention, all personnel
Report immediately
328
00:13:51,683 --> 00:13:54,028
To the emergency
Operations center.
329
00:13:54,052 --> 00:13:56,897
The tornado watch has
Been upgraded to a warning.
330
00:13:56,921 --> 00:13:58,098
- oh! A warning!
331
00:13:58,122 --> 00:13:59,500
- a funnel cloud has been...
- funnel?
332
00:13:59,524 --> 00:14:01,635
Spotted five miles
East of the metro area.
333
00:14:01,659 --> 00:14:06,306
- the funnel! That's
What makes the cows fly!
334
00:14:06,330 --> 00:14:08,942
- uh, you know, that
Happens a lot less often
335
00:14:08,966 --> 00:14:11,511
Than that movie suggests.
336
00:14:11,535 --> 00:14:13,047
Everything will
Probably be fine,
337
00:14:13,071 --> 00:14:14,481
But just promise me you'll
Go down to the storm cellar,
338
00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:15,516
Just in case.
339
00:14:15,540 --> 00:14:16,884
- okay, I will. I
Will, I will, I will.
340
00:14:16,908 --> 00:14:18,819
- I'll come back to check
On you just as soon as I can.
341
00:14:18,843 --> 00:14:20,520
- okay.
342
00:14:20,544 --> 00:14:22,989
Just be careful out
There. Please be careful.
343
00:14:24,882 --> 00:14:25,859
I love you!
344
00:14:25,883 --> 00:14:27,550
Oh!
345
00:14:30,221 --> 00:14:31,965
- "I love you"?
346
00:14:31,989 --> 00:14:34,034
You've only known
Him for a few weeks.
347
00:14:34,058 --> 00:14:35,936
- I know, it's way too soon.
348
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,038
It moves things to the
Next level way too quickly.
349
00:14:38,062 --> 00:14:39,339
If one of us doesn't die,
350
00:14:39,363 --> 00:14:41,283
It's gonna be really
Embarrassing.
351
00:14:47,071 --> 00:14:48,349
- do you love him?
352
00:14:48,373 --> 00:14:50,084
- I don't know.
353
00:14:50,108 --> 00:14:51,518
It was just so emotional.
354
00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:52,819
I had just talked to my kids.
355
00:14:52,843 --> 00:14:54,187
I was worried about victoria.
356
00:14:54,211 --> 00:14:56,356
I was telling
Everybody I love 'em.
357
00:14:56,380 --> 00:14:58,460
- all you said to
Me is, "I'll miss you."
358
00:15:00,818 --> 00:15:03,263
- well, my love for you
Goes without saying.
359
00:15:03,287 --> 00:15:05,966
- apparently.
360
00:15:05,990 --> 00:15:07,567
- did he say it back?
361
00:15:07,591 --> 00:15:08,902
- you know, I couldn't tell.
362
00:15:08,926 --> 00:15:11,371
The wind was so loud I
Couldn't hear anything.
363
00:15:11,395 --> 00:15:12,873
I don't even know
If he heard me.
364
00:15:12,897 --> 00:15:15,075
- oh, I wouldn't worry
About it too much.
365
00:15:15,099 --> 00:15:18,012
I've blurted it out
When I didn't mean it too.
366
00:15:18,036 --> 00:15:20,114
Someone recently mistook
Me for kate beckinsale,
367
00:15:20,138 --> 00:15:22,383
And I told him I loved him.
368
00:15:22,407 --> 00:15:24,018
- couldn't you
Have just given him
369
00:15:24,042 --> 00:15:26,875
A biscuit for his guide dog?
370
00:15:37,788 --> 00:15:41,201
- dating at our age is
A very delicate dance.
371
00:15:41,225 --> 00:15:43,403
You can't just go
Rushing into things
372
00:15:43,427 --> 00:15:45,205
And throwing "I
Love yous" around.
373
00:15:45,229 --> 00:15:46,974
I mean, he might
Not be ready yet.
374
00:15:46,998 --> 00:15:48,942
I might not be ready yet.
375
00:15:48,966 --> 00:15:51,178
I just got divorced. I
Moved to a new city.
376
00:15:51,202 --> 00:15:52,680
I'm enjoying being single.
377
00:15:52,704 --> 00:15:53,747
- oh, for heaven's sakes.
378
00:15:53,771 --> 00:15:55,382
Do you want him to
Say it back or not?
379
00:15:55,406 --> 00:15:58,185
- of course I do.
I'm crazy about him.
380
00:15:58,209 --> 00:15:59,753
Ohh!
381
00:15:59,777 --> 00:16:00,754
But not with this storm
382
00:16:00,778 --> 00:16:02,422
And all of us dying and all!
383
00:16:02,446 --> 00:16:04,458
- oh, will you stop it?
384
00:16:04,482 --> 00:16:06,093
Now, remember what elka said.
385
00:16:06,117 --> 00:16:08,629
Cleveland never
Gets hit by tornadoes.
386
00:16:11,855 --> 00:16:13,889
Elka: well, nice knowing you.
387
00:16:21,933 --> 00:16:24,478
All: aah!
388
00:16:24,502 --> 00:16:25,679
What if this really is it?
389
00:16:25,703 --> 00:16:27,147
We could be right
In the tornado's path
390
00:16:27,171 --> 00:16:28,148
And not even know it.
391
00:16:28,172 --> 00:16:29,583
I'll never meet my son!
392
00:16:29,607 --> 00:16:31,218
- and I'll never know
If I won that emmy.
393
00:16:31,242 --> 00:16:33,955
- and I'll never know if pete
Was gonna say "I love you" back.
394
00:16:33,979 --> 00:16:35,622
- okay, we need to get
This out of our heads,
395
00:16:35,646 --> 00:16:37,792
So let's just pretend
That the tv works.
396
00:16:37,816 --> 00:16:39,026
- okay.
397
00:16:39,050 --> 00:16:40,627
- it's emmy arrivals
At the red carpet.
398
00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:41,862
- okay.
399
00:16:41,886 --> 00:16:43,164
- all right, now...
400
00:16:43,188 --> 00:16:47,200
Who do we think looks like crap?
401
00:16:47,224 --> 00:16:49,169
- I'll go first.
402
00:16:49,193 --> 00:16:50,170
Lucci.
403
00:16:50,194 --> 00:16:52,873
- oh, you are such
A good friend.
404
00:16:52,897 --> 00:16:54,842
- and a liar.
405
00:16:54,866 --> 00:16:59,546
Lucci rocks the red carpet.
406
00:16:59,570 --> 00:17:01,349
- you know, honesty
Is overrated.
407
00:17:01,373 --> 00:17:03,117
I mean, what group of women
408
00:17:03,141 --> 00:17:04,818
Could stay best
Friends for 20 years
409
00:17:04,842 --> 00:17:06,553
Without bending
The truth a little.
410
00:17:06,577 --> 00:17:08,456
- 20 years?
- yeah.
411
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,791
We've been through
Everything together.
412
00:17:10,815 --> 00:17:13,627
Let's see, between
Us, six divorces...
413
00:17:13,651 --> 00:17:16,363
- five of them yours.
414
00:17:16,387 --> 00:17:19,199
And an endless array
Of bad boyfriends.
415
00:17:19,223 --> 00:17:20,835
All of them mine.
416
00:17:20,859 --> 00:17:21,868
- five kids.
417
00:17:21,892 --> 00:17:22,870
- two grandkids.
418
00:17:22,894 --> 00:17:24,427
- nieces, please.
419
00:17:27,532 --> 00:17:29,810
- we've just always
Had each other's backs.
420
00:17:29,834 --> 00:17:31,333
For better and for worse.
421
00:17:33,471 --> 00:17:35,816
- I wish I had what
You three have.
422
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,473
- well, you do... Now.
423
00:17:41,513 --> 00:17:44,091
- I meant a tolerance
For your voices.
424
00:17:44,115 --> 00:17:46,760
But yes.
425
00:17:46,784 --> 00:17:47,761
- yay!
426
00:17:47,785 --> 00:17:49,263
- wait, do you hear that?
427
00:17:49,287 --> 00:17:50,430
It's quiet outside.
428
00:17:50,454 --> 00:17:51,899
Maybe the storm's passed.
429
00:17:51,923 --> 00:17:54,134
- or maybe we're in
The eye of the storm.
430
00:17:54,158 --> 00:17:55,569
Victoria, find the news.
431
00:17:55,593 --> 00:17:58,205
- what, are you kidding?
No, the daytime emmys are on.
432
00:17:58,229 --> 00:18:00,240
I made a miracle comeback
From a fake illness
433
00:18:00,264 --> 00:18:01,775
To win this thing.
434
00:18:01,799 --> 00:18:04,178
If they call my name,
I want to hear it.
435
00:18:04,202 --> 00:18:06,480
Male announcer: and
Crystal mcallister
436
00:18:06,504 --> 00:18:07,948
for the strong and the gorgeous.
437
00:18:07,972 --> 00:18:09,249
- oh, my god, this
Is my category.
438
00:18:09,273 --> 00:18:12,886
Everybody just shut up.
439
00:18:12,910 --> 00:18:15,221
Announcer: and the emmy
For outstanding actress
440
00:18:15,245 --> 00:18:17,257
In a daytime drama goes to...
441
00:18:17,281 --> 00:18:19,626
victoria chase for
Edge of tomorrow.
442
00:18:19,650 --> 00:18:21,895
Oh, my god!
443
00:18:21,919 --> 00:18:22,930
- you won!
444
00:18:22,954 --> 00:18:24,932
Can you believe it?
445
00:18:24,956 --> 00:18:27,200
- victoria chase
Could not be with us.
446
00:18:27,224 --> 00:18:31,160
Accepting for her
Tonight, ms. Susan lucci.
447
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:40,948
- you have got to be kidding me.
448
00:18:40,972 --> 00:18:44,251
And in my one-of-a-kind dress.
449
00:18:44,275 --> 00:18:47,654
- victoria chase is
Now living in cleveland
450
00:18:47,678 --> 00:18:52,293
And recovering from
Some disfiguring disease.
451
00:18:52,317 --> 00:18:54,728
The words "Botched"
And "Surgery"
452
00:18:54,752 --> 00:18:56,096
Have been tossed around,
453
00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:58,766
But who can say?
454
00:18:58,790 --> 00:19:02,069
Although she cannot
Be here with us today,
455
00:19:02,093 --> 00:19:05,072
I know she must be
Feeling what I feel.
456
00:19:05,096 --> 00:19:06,306
Gratitude...
457
00:19:06,330 --> 00:19:08,775
For all my loyal fans!
458
00:19:08,799 --> 00:19:12,913
You have loved me
For so many years.
459
00:19:12,937 --> 00:19:14,448
Oh, and you don't have to worry,
460
00:19:14,472 --> 00:19:17,284
Because, unlike honor st. Raven,
461
00:19:17,308 --> 00:19:19,920
Erika kane will be
Around to entertain you
462
00:19:19,944 --> 00:19:25,191
For many, many years to come.
463
00:19:25,215 --> 00:19:27,961
- get your grubby little
Doll hands off my award,
464
00:19:27,985 --> 00:19:30,163
You beautiful freak!
465
00:19:30,187 --> 00:19:32,966
- aah!
466
00:19:33,991 --> 00:19:35,503
- melanie, are you there?
467
00:19:35,527 --> 00:19:37,971
- oh, pete! Yes,
We're down here!
468
00:19:37,995 --> 00:19:39,372
What's it like out there?
469
00:19:39,396 --> 00:19:40,841
- it's okay. It's over.
470
00:19:40,865 --> 00:19:43,510
They're working on the
Power, but the storm's passed.
471
00:19:43,534 --> 00:19:44,979
Everybody all right in here?
472
00:19:45,003 --> 00:19:46,513
- oh, I'm so glad you're okay.
473
00:19:46,537 --> 00:19:48,415
- uhh.
- oh, listen...
474
00:19:48,439 --> 00:19:50,283
I've been thinking
About this all day.
475
00:19:50,307 --> 00:19:51,552
When we said good-bye...
476
00:19:51,576 --> 00:19:53,887
- yeah, I was
Thinking about it too,
477
00:19:53,911 --> 00:19:55,077
And, uh...
478
00:20:14,565 --> 00:20:16,410
What the hell is all this stuff?
479
00:20:16,434 --> 00:20:18,078
- wait, what... You were
Gonna say something.
480
00:20:18,102 --> 00:20:20,936
- you had to date
A cop, didn't you?
33539
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