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- hot in cleveland is recorded
2
00:00:01,719 --> 00:00:03,696
In front of a live
Studio audience.
3
00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:07,398
- we're still in a rented
House in ohio, right?
4
00:00:07,422 --> 00:00:08,799
- yep.
5
00:00:08,823 --> 00:00:12,201
- so last night, a guy 15
Years younger than me
6
00:00:12,225 --> 00:00:14,235
Really did give me
His phone number.
7
00:00:14,258 --> 00:00:17,603
- oh, it's the magic
Of cleveland, joy.
8
00:00:17,627 --> 00:00:19,571
All the most beautiful
People in the world
9
00:00:19,595 --> 00:00:21,571
Move to l.A. To become stars,
10
00:00:21,595 --> 00:00:24,472
Leaving behind in
Their wake beauty voids
11
00:00:24,496 --> 00:00:25,995
For the rest of us to fill.
12
00:00:27,697 --> 00:00:29,408
- I've never dated younger.
13
00:00:29,432 --> 00:00:31,909
I think I'm gonna give it a try.
14
00:00:31,933 --> 00:00:32,943
It's exciting.
15
00:00:32,967 --> 00:00:35,499
- it's disgusting.
16
00:00:36,768 --> 00:00:38,512
You're too old and creaky
17
00:00:38,536 --> 00:00:40,746
To be robbing the cradle.
18
00:00:40,770 --> 00:00:44,704
- I'm old? Was ohio even a
State when you were born?
19
00:00:45,806 --> 00:00:48,705
- they were talking about it.
20
00:00:50,075 --> 00:00:52,618
- oh! I've run out
Of cotton balls.
21
00:00:52,642 --> 00:00:54,719
Elka, where's the
Nearest neiman marcus?
22
00:00:54,743 --> 00:00:56,609
- chicago.
23
00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:01,156
But there's a big n easy
Just down the street.
24
00:01:01,180 --> 00:01:03,290
This outfit...
25
00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:06,158
3 for $10.
26
00:01:06,182 --> 00:01:08,259
- incentive indeed.
27
00:01:08,283 --> 00:01:12,294
Although my agent has said
That having played honor st. Raven
28
00:01:12,318 --> 00:01:15,796
For the past 27 years, I
Am somewhat typecast
29
00:01:15,820 --> 00:01:17,996
As a woman of
Taste and refinement.
30
00:01:18,020 --> 00:01:21,731
Perhaps I could better
Portray a common person
31
00:01:21,755 --> 00:01:24,555
If I observe them in
Their natural habitat.
32
00:01:26,458 --> 00:01:28,134
- morning.
33
00:01:28,158 --> 00:01:30,302
How'd everyone sleep? Me, rock.
34
00:01:30,326 --> 00:01:32,504
And what a beautiful
Ohio morning.
35
00:01:32,528 --> 00:01:34,437
Birds are chirping.
People are smiling.
36
00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:38,038
Someone actually
Said "Hiya" to me...
37
00:01:38,062 --> 00:01:40,229
With the "Ya."
38
00:01:41,565 --> 00:01:45,709
- who put a quarter in that one?
39
00:01:45,733 --> 00:01:46,910
- oh, I have big news.
40
00:01:46,934 --> 00:01:48,744
I'm extending my lease here,
41
00:01:48,768 --> 00:01:51,278
And I'm thinking of putting
My house in l.A. On the market.
42
00:01:51,302 --> 00:01:53,613
- wow, melanie, you're really
Going through with this?
43
00:01:53,637 --> 00:01:56,447
- well, how are you
Gonna get your botox?
44
00:01:56,471 --> 00:01:58,103
- that's your first question?
45
00:01:59,473 --> 00:02:01,749
I'll find a doctor here.
46
00:02:01,773 --> 00:02:03,251
- cleveland botox?
47
00:02:03,275 --> 00:02:05,273
Good god, woman,
Are you an animal?
48
00:02:07,443 --> 00:02:08,920
- well, I'm glad you're staying.
49
00:02:08,944 --> 00:02:11,821
- well, thank you,
Miss belle of the bar.
50
00:02:11,845 --> 00:02:14,289
- oh, stop.
51
00:02:14,313 --> 00:02:17,590
- how many guys gave you
Their number last night?
52
00:02:17,614 --> 00:02:20,113
- one or two.
53
00:02:23,717 --> 00:02:25,894
I had to wait till I was 88
54
00:02:25,918 --> 00:02:27,883
To find out I have game.
55
00:02:29,353 --> 00:02:30,862
What do you want for breakfast?
56
00:02:30,886 --> 00:02:33,497
- oh, you cook?
- and give advice.
57
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:37,266
like drama on entourage.
58
00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:38,600
- you watch entourage?
59
00:02:38,624 --> 00:02:42,535
you seem more like
A weeds viewer to me.
60
00:02:42,559 --> 00:02:46,670
- that show is so unrealistic.
61
00:02:46,694 --> 00:02:49,471
- I'll have egg whites, please.
62
00:02:49,495 --> 00:02:51,506
- half a grapefruit,
Sprinkle of splenda.
63
00:02:51,530 --> 00:02:54,273
- steel-cut oats with
Seasonal berries.
64
00:02:54,297 --> 00:02:56,496
- pancakes and bacon, coming up.
65
00:03:06,469 --> 00:03:08,246
- I cannot believe
66
00:03:08,270 --> 00:03:10,281
That all this great
Furniture was in storage.
67
00:03:10,305 --> 00:03:12,382
I mean, I love the
Tables. I love the chair.
68
00:03:12,406 --> 00:03:14,316
I love the sofa. I
Really love the rugs.
69
00:03:14,340 --> 00:03:16,616
I might not even send
For my stuff in l.A.
70
00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:19,218
Oh, boy, if this furniture
Could talk, huh?
71
00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:22,174
- it would be a welcome relief.
72
00:03:24,477 --> 00:03:26,221
I'm sorry.
73
00:03:26,245 --> 00:03:28,622
I just... I get a little,
You know, carried away.
74
00:03:28,646 --> 00:03:31,223
So have you decided
Which guy to call yet?
75
00:03:31,247 --> 00:03:33,324
- no.
- really?
76
00:03:33,348 --> 00:03:35,057
Well, you know what? Why
Don't you let me help you?
77
00:03:35,081 --> 00:03:37,626
Just tell me a
Little bit about them.
78
00:03:37,650 --> 00:03:41,316
- well, arthur
Can drive at night.
79
00:03:44,186 --> 00:03:47,486
And larry has that
Nice full ring of hair.
80
00:03:49,556 --> 00:03:54,001
Sal has both original hips,
81
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:56,501
Which is sexy as hell.
82
00:03:56,525 --> 00:03:59,469
- well, it sounds to me
Like you can't go wrong,
83
00:03:59,493 --> 00:04:01,170
So just pick one and call.
84
00:04:01,194 --> 00:04:03,171
- uh, right.
85
00:04:03,195 --> 00:04:05,172
Maybe tomorrow.
86
00:04:05,196 --> 00:04:07,573
- elka, what's going on?
87
00:04:07,597 --> 00:04:10,875
- oh, melanie, I don't
Know how to call a man.
88
00:04:10,899 --> 00:04:12,609
- okay, I'm gonna help you.
89
00:04:12,633 --> 00:04:14,809
Let's just pretend, all
Right? We'll practice.
90
00:04:14,833 --> 00:04:16,510
Which one of these
Do you want me to be?
91
00:04:16,534 --> 00:04:18,344
- larry with the hair.
92
00:04:18,368 --> 00:04:20,012
- okay.
93
00:04:20,036 --> 00:04:22,313
I'm larry. You call me.
94
00:04:22,337 --> 00:04:23,813
- ring, ring.
95
00:04:23,837 --> 00:04:26,303
- hello?
- what are you doing?
96
00:04:27,940 --> 00:04:31,650
I mean, nobody over 80
Answers on the first ring.
97
00:04:31,674 --> 00:04:33,985
- well, yeah, okay.
98
00:04:34,009 --> 00:04:36,685
Sorry, sorry, my bad.
Um, let's try this again.
99
00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:38,887
- ring, ring.
100
00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:40,254
Ring, ring.
101
00:04:40,278 --> 00:04:43,089
Ring, ring.
102
00:04:43,113 --> 00:04:45,023
Ring, ring.
103
00:04:45,047 --> 00:04:46,324
Ring, ring.
104
00:04:46,348 --> 00:04:49,258
- hello?
- I can't do this.
105
00:04:49,282 --> 00:04:51,393
- oh, elka.
106
00:04:51,417 --> 00:04:53,460
- how do I look?
107
00:04:53,484 --> 00:04:56,861
- like you stepped
Out of a painting...
108
00:04:56,885 --> 00:04:58,550
Of hookers.
109
00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:03,064
- do not pay attention to her.
110
00:05:03,088 --> 00:05:04,865
Joy, you look
Absolutely gorgeous.
111
00:05:04,889 --> 00:05:06,767
- are you sure?
Not too "Cougary"?
112
00:05:06,791 --> 00:05:09,868
Oh, god, I hate
That bloody word.
113
00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:11,835
But that's what I am, aren't I?
114
00:05:11,859 --> 00:05:13,235
And I'm the worst
Kind of cougar...
115
00:05:13,259 --> 00:05:15,003
A self-hating cougar. Maybe
I should call and cancel.
116
00:05:15,027 --> 00:05:17,171
- stop acting so ridiculous.
117
00:05:17,195 --> 00:05:19,940
- but what if he makes
References I don't understand.
118
00:05:19,964 --> 00:05:21,307
- look, if you say
Something wrong,
119
00:05:21,331 --> 00:05:22,773
You can always fall
Back on being british.
120
00:05:22,797 --> 00:05:24,141
You know, you could say, um,
121
00:05:24,165 --> 00:05:25,942
That's what we calls it
122
00:05:25,966 --> 00:05:29,177
In london.
123
00:05:29,201 --> 00:05:30,810
- okay, I'll go,
124
00:05:30,834 --> 00:05:33,113
But only because I'm
Terrified you'll do that again.
125
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:35,980
Oh, can I help you?
126
00:05:36,004 --> 00:05:37,546
- it's me. Give me a hand.
127
00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:39,848
- can't. I'm leaving on my date.
- oh, what are you wearing?
128
00:05:39,872 --> 00:05:41,516
- that thing that I
Wore to that thing
129
00:05:41,540 --> 00:05:42,882
Where that guy
Thought I was that model.
130
00:05:42,906 --> 00:05:44,082
- mm. Good choice.
131
00:05:44,106 --> 00:05:47,174
Just remember what it
Does when you sit down.
132
00:05:49,276 --> 00:05:50,653
Oh, my god.
133
00:05:50,677 --> 00:05:52,654
What an ordeal. So many people.
134
00:05:52,678 --> 00:05:54,754
Although I got
To hand it to them,
135
00:05:54,778 --> 00:05:56,355
No matter how big you are,
136
00:05:56,379 --> 00:05:57,756
In cleveland,
Everybody seems to think
137
00:05:57,780 --> 00:05:59,779
That they can pull
Off wearing shorts.
138
00:06:02,148 --> 00:06:03,858
- so what's with all the stuff?
139
00:06:03,882 --> 00:06:06,026
- oh, you can't leave
A big n easy with less.
140
00:06:06,050 --> 00:06:07,361
You know, everywhere you turn,
141
00:06:07,385 --> 00:06:09,161
They're offering a
Lifetime supply of something
142
00:06:09,185 --> 00:06:10,262
For a pittance.
143
00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:13,229
- so you got all this for that?
- I know.
144
00:06:13,253 --> 00:06:14,997
I could have bought
Out the entire store
145
00:06:15,021 --> 00:06:18,598
For what I spent last
Month on vermouth.
146
00:06:18,622 --> 00:06:20,632
Oh, my god, vermouth.
I forgot the vermouth.
147
00:06:20,656 --> 00:06:21,767
I got to go.
148
00:06:21,791 --> 00:06:23,268
- wait, wait, it's still open?
149
00:06:23,292 --> 00:06:24,701
- oh, yeah, they never close.
150
00:06:24,725 --> 00:06:27,535
Oh, no, they welcome in all
People anytime, day or night.
151
00:06:27,559 --> 00:06:29,225
It's like hell.
152
00:06:32,228 --> 00:06:34,607
- you know, my
Favorite is the one
153
00:06:34,631 --> 00:06:36,608
Where jan got the wig.
- mm.
154
00:06:36,632 --> 00:06:38,041
- an excellent choice.
155
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:42,142
But for me, it has to be where
Marsha stalked davy jones.
156
00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:44,043
- I love all those old reruns.
157
00:06:44,067 --> 00:06:46,144
Yeah...
158
00:06:46,168 --> 00:06:49,646
Reruns.
159
00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:52,313
- and I know I said
It two minutes ago,
160
00:06:52,337 --> 00:06:53,948
But you are incredibly pretty.
161
00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:57,817
Stop.
162
00:06:57,841 --> 00:07:00,484
But don't stop.
163
00:07:00,508 --> 00:07:02,052
- and funny and smart,
164
00:07:02,076 --> 00:07:03,986
And your accent
Drives me crazy...
165
00:07:04,010 --> 00:07:06,553
In a good way.
166
00:07:06,577 --> 00:07:08,054
You know, I was
Actually born in britain.
167
00:07:08,078 --> 00:07:09,421
- really?
- yeah.
168
00:07:09,445 --> 00:07:12,322
My birth mom gave
Me up for adoption
169
00:07:12,346 --> 00:07:13,923
To this american couple.
170
00:07:13,947 --> 00:07:16,724
- really?
171
00:07:16,748 --> 00:07:18,626
Oh, my god!
172
00:07:18,650 --> 00:07:21,215
I think I'm dating my son.
173
00:07:26,586 --> 00:07:29,298
- so he was born in london?
- on the exact same day.
174
00:07:29,322 --> 00:07:31,998
- and year. I made him
Say it, like, three times.
175
00:07:32,022 --> 00:07:33,332
- wow, that is a
Huge coincidence.
176
00:07:33,356 --> 00:07:34,566
- no kidding.
177
00:07:34,590 --> 00:07:35,733
- so what did you say to him?
178
00:07:35,757 --> 00:07:37,501
- oh, I made up some lame excuse
179
00:07:37,525 --> 00:07:39,902
And basically
Bolted out of there.
180
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:42,670
And up until the time I found
Out I might be his mother,
181
00:07:42,694 --> 00:07:44,733
He was the best
Date I've had in years.
182
00:07:46,695 --> 00:07:48,561
- saw the light on. What's up?
183
00:07:51,098 --> 00:07:53,174
- oh, go ahead.
184
00:07:53,198 --> 00:07:55,942
- when joy was a
Teenager, she got pregnant.
185
00:07:55,966 --> 00:07:59,032
- I'm not surprised.
186
00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:03,980
- and now she thinks she
Might be dating her son.
187
00:08:04,004 --> 00:08:07,680
- still not surprised.
188
00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:10,404
You sleeping with him?
- no!
189
00:08:12,307 --> 00:08:14,852
- wait. You told me
You never had children.
190
00:08:14,876 --> 00:08:17,285
- because that's
What I tell people.
191
00:08:17,309 --> 00:08:19,320
I've never raised a child.
192
00:08:19,344 --> 00:08:22,375
Besides, it's a time in my
Life I prefer to keep buried.
193
00:08:28,214 --> 00:08:30,625
Oh, it's him asking if I'm okay.
194
00:08:30,649 --> 00:08:33,614
Oh. What a sweet boy.
195
00:08:38,486 --> 00:08:40,629
Maybe I should just call
Him and tell him the truth.
196
00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:42,396
- what, are you
Out of your mind?
197
00:08:42,420 --> 00:08:43,797
What if he isn't your son?
198
00:08:43,821 --> 00:08:47,054
- "I might be your mother"...
Probably a romance killer.
199
00:08:49,224 --> 00:08:51,301
- and what's even more
Horrific is you'd have to admit
200
00:08:51,325 --> 00:08:52,802
That you're old
Enough to be his mother.
201
00:08:52,826 --> 00:08:54,202
Now, how old does
He think you are?
202
00:08:54,226 --> 00:08:57,270
- he said I looked 38.
203
00:08:57,294 --> 00:09:00,560
- your son is
Mentally challenged?
204
00:09:07,399 --> 00:09:10,776
- I just wish I had some
Proof one way or another.
205
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,143
- you know, something like this
206
00:09:12,167 --> 00:09:13,477
Once happened
To honor st. Raven.
207
00:09:13,501 --> 00:09:15,811
You remember when
I was on that island
208
00:09:15,835 --> 00:09:17,045
Studying monkeys?
209
00:09:17,069 --> 00:09:20,281
- yeah, I might have
Missed that episode.
210
00:09:20,305 --> 00:09:23,015
- it was a six-month arc.
211
00:09:23,039 --> 00:09:26,149
- how long are we gonna do
This? Just tell us what happened.
212
00:09:26,173 --> 00:09:29,718
- well, the scientist I was
Working with kidnapped me
213
00:09:29,742 --> 00:09:31,319
And then revealed himself
214
00:09:31,343 --> 00:09:34,153
to be the venezuelan
Hit man el gato.
215
00:09:34,177 --> 00:09:36,688
- that's "The cat."
216
00:09:36,712 --> 00:09:39,777
- thank you, telemundo.
217
00:09:44,415 --> 00:09:46,692
But what does this have
To do with my situation?
218
00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:49,160
- well, he also
Claimed to be my father.
219
00:09:49,184 --> 00:09:52,028
- well, that's just stupid.
220
00:09:52,052 --> 00:09:54,796
- it was submitted
For a humanitas award.
221
00:09:54,820 --> 00:09:56,364
- by whom?
222
00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:59,398
- it was submitted.
223
00:09:59,422 --> 00:10:02,333
And anyway, I had to prove
That he wasn't my father,
224
00:10:02,357 --> 00:10:05,000
So I had to collect
A sample of his dna.
225
00:10:05,024 --> 00:10:06,234
Now, that's what you should do.
226
00:10:06,258 --> 00:10:08,235
- oh, yeah, like on csi.
227
00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:10,803
You could get his skin scrapings
From under your fingernails,
228
00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:12,671
Or you could get a
Sample of his blood,
229
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:15,505
Or you could swab the
Inside of his cheek with a q-tip.
230
00:10:15,529 --> 00:10:18,195
- all very natural
Dating activities.
231
00:10:19,998 --> 00:10:21,975
- but, joy, you need to know.
232
00:10:21,999 --> 00:10:24,309
I mean, is he your
Sweet baby boy
233
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:27,411
Or your dirty,
Sexy, hot boyfriend?
234
00:10:27,435 --> 00:10:30,579
And either way, win-win.
235
00:10:30,603 --> 00:10:33,113
- I can't believe I'm
Actually saying this,
236
00:10:33,137 --> 00:10:36,248
but how did honor st.
Raven get el gato's dna?
237
00:10:36,272 --> 00:10:39,015
- I plucked a hair from his head
238
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:41,516
With the follicle
Still attached.
239
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:44,685
You get that, and
We can test his dna.
240
00:10:44,709 --> 00:10:47,041
- from our home dna lab?
241
00:10:48,744 --> 00:10:50,120
- no worries.
242
00:10:50,144 --> 00:10:52,544
I've got a lab I've done
Some business with.
243
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:02,060
- so, young lady, you ready
To make that phone call again?
244
00:11:02,084 --> 00:11:04,493
- uh, I already did.
245
00:11:04,517 --> 00:11:06,929
Turns out he's not interested.
246
00:11:06,953 --> 00:11:08,095
- you're lying.
247
00:11:08,119 --> 00:11:11,297
- okay, fine. I
Just can't do it.
248
00:11:11,321 --> 00:11:13,564
I'm scared.
- oh, come on.
249
00:11:13,588 --> 00:11:16,065
Who would say no to this?
250
00:11:16,089 --> 00:11:19,968
- well, you got that right.
251
00:11:19,992 --> 00:11:21,635
- come on, call
Larry with the hair.
252
00:11:21,659 --> 00:11:22,936
Do you have his number?
253
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:25,092
- I know it by heart.
254
00:11:29,663 --> 00:11:32,606
Hello, this is elka ostrovsky
255
00:11:32,630 --> 00:11:35,741
Calling for larry.
256
00:11:35,765 --> 00:11:37,042
Uh-huh.
257
00:11:37,066 --> 00:11:41,243
Okay, saturday at 1:00.
258
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,412
I'll be there.
259
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:46,346
- yay! Good for
You. Lucky larry.
260
00:11:46,370 --> 00:11:49,036
- larry's dead. I'm
Going to his funeral.
261
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:54,850
See, it's fate telling
Me it's too late.
262
00:11:54,874 --> 00:11:57,718
- or this is fate reminding you
263
00:11:57,742 --> 00:11:59,419
That life is short,
So you'd better call
264
00:11:59,443 --> 00:12:03,587
The other one before
He pops off too.
265
00:12:03,611 --> 00:12:06,055
- okay, I'll try sal's number.
266
00:12:06,079 --> 00:12:08,712
- try sal.
267
00:12:10,881 --> 00:12:12,625
- he answered right away.
268
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:15,459
- well, he's got
The two good hips.
269
00:12:15,483 --> 00:12:18,761
- sal, this is elka.
270
00:12:18,785 --> 00:12:21,262
I met you at...
271
00:12:21,286 --> 00:12:23,151
Yes, it's dimples.
272
00:12:25,288 --> 00:12:26,931
I'm nervous.
273
00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:30,566
- you're doing great, and
I'm right here if you need me.
274
00:12:30,590 --> 00:12:34,635
- I was thinking we
Might meet later tonight
275
00:12:34,659 --> 00:12:38,202
For a double date.
276
00:12:38,226 --> 00:12:40,638
Her name is melanie.
- what?
277
00:12:40,662 --> 00:12:45,606
- you have a younger friend?
278
00:12:45,630 --> 00:12:47,896
Only 85.
279
00:12:49,999 --> 00:12:55,099
Uses a walker, but
Grips it very lightly.
280
00:13:02,605 --> 00:13:07,249
- oh, tyler, what
A lovely place.
281
00:13:07,273 --> 00:13:10,050
You're doing very
Well for yourself...
282
00:13:10,074 --> 00:13:14,786
Although you really should
Tidy up before company comes.
283
00:13:14,810 --> 00:13:17,842
- what are you, my mother?
284
00:13:20,413 --> 00:13:22,756
- would that be so bad?
285
00:13:22,780 --> 00:13:26,113
- what?
- nothing. Just joking.
286
00:13:30,650 --> 00:13:33,328
- yeah, you are funny...
287
00:13:33,352 --> 00:13:35,495
And smoking hot.
288
00:13:35,519 --> 00:13:38,831
- oh, well, good genes.
289
00:13:38,855 --> 00:13:41,264
- you know, I got to say,
I was a little surprised
290
00:13:41,288 --> 00:13:43,365
When I got your text
That we should skip dinner
291
00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:45,066
And come directly here instead.
292
00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:47,001
- well, it's a little
More private.
293
00:13:47,025 --> 00:13:48,567
- awesome.
294
00:13:48,591 --> 00:13:52,003
- you know, you have
The most fabulous hair...
295
00:13:52,027 --> 00:13:54,904
So thick and full.
296
00:13:54,928 --> 00:13:59,773
- yeah, it's just like yours.
- yeah, I noticed that.
297
00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:04,242
I just want to reach
In and grab hold...
298
00:14:04,266 --> 00:14:06,109
And grab harder.
299
00:14:06,133 --> 00:14:08,443
- yeah.
300
00:14:08,467 --> 00:14:10,277
- oh, god!
301
00:14:10,301 --> 00:14:12,011
I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
302
00:14:12,035 --> 00:14:13,446
- yeah, I'm fine.
303
00:14:13,470 --> 00:14:15,780
Really.
- oh, no, you're bleeding.
304
00:14:15,804 --> 00:14:19,915
Oh, you're bleeding!
305
00:14:19,939 --> 00:14:22,116
- I'll just go clean
Up. It's nothing.
306
00:14:22,140 --> 00:14:23,650
- no, no, no, wait.
I have tissues.
307
00:14:23,674 --> 00:14:25,351
Lots and lots of tissues.
308
00:14:25,375 --> 00:14:28,875
My friend victoria
Buys them in bulk.
309
00:14:30,544 --> 00:14:32,454
There. That should be enough.
310
00:14:32,478 --> 00:14:34,588
I mean, that's better.
311
00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:38,457
You know, I'd really prefer
White wine if you have it.
312
00:14:38,481 --> 00:14:40,090
- oh, okay.
313
00:14:40,114 --> 00:14:43,614
Coming right up.
314
00:14:45,484 --> 00:14:47,661
Any particular kind of...
315
00:14:47,685 --> 00:14:49,962
What are you doing?
316
00:14:49,986 --> 00:14:52,663
- oh, nothing.
It's just a baggie.
317
00:14:52,687 --> 00:14:55,931
My friend victoria gets
Those by the bulk too.
318
00:14:55,955 --> 00:14:59,400
She's nuts, that woman...
319
00:14:59,424 --> 00:15:02,089
Crazy, crazy, crazy victoria.
320
00:15:07,527 --> 00:15:09,270
- why are you
Collecting my blood?
321
00:15:09,294 --> 00:15:11,338
- oh, well, you know,
322
00:15:11,362 --> 00:15:13,406
Collecting blood
Is all the rage now.
323
00:15:13,430 --> 00:15:15,806
true blood, twilight,
324
00:15:15,830 --> 00:15:20,710
new moon, eclipse... I get it.
325
00:15:20,734 --> 00:15:22,744
- so, what, you're a vampire?
326
00:15:22,768 --> 00:15:25,644
- no, no, no, no, no, no.
327
00:15:25,668 --> 00:15:27,511
I don't want to suck your blood.
328
00:15:27,535 --> 00:15:30,668
I just want to take
It home with me.
329
00:15:35,606 --> 00:15:39,617
I was collecting
Your dna, because...
330
00:15:39,641 --> 00:15:42,119
I think I might possibly
Be your mother.
331
00:15:42,143 --> 00:15:43,685
- my mother?
332
00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:46,854
- it's better than a vampire.
333
00:15:46,878 --> 00:15:50,522
- no, it isn't.
334
00:15:50,546 --> 00:15:53,124
- look, I-I gave up a
Baby for adoption.
335
00:15:53,148 --> 00:15:54,825
- I know my birth mother.
336
00:15:54,849 --> 00:15:55,958
- you do?
337
00:15:55,982 --> 00:15:57,460
- yeah, I registered
On a website.
338
00:15:57,483 --> 00:15:58,827
I met her, like, ten years ago.
339
00:15:58,851 --> 00:16:01,961
- oh.
340
00:16:01,985 --> 00:16:05,228
Oh.
341
00:16:05,252 --> 00:16:08,464
Well, that's fantastic news.
342
00:16:08,488 --> 00:16:10,598
I'm not your mother.
343
00:16:10,622 --> 00:16:13,032
We can go back to
How we were now.
344
00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:16,189
- um...
- I'll just let myself out.
345
00:16:18,593 --> 00:16:22,537
- here's to the prettiest
Girl in the place.
346
00:16:22,561 --> 00:16:24,627
- well, thank you.
347
00:16:33,532 --> 00:16:35,276
- yes, that is refreshing.
348
00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:38,210
- what?
- it's refreshing!
349
00:16:38,234 --> 00:16:40,145
- it's refreshing, isn't it?
350
00:16:40,169 --> 00:16:43,712
- yeah.
351
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:46,370
- plenty more where
That came from.
352
00:16:52,174 --> 00:16:54,885
- hey, what are you
Doing home so early?
353
00:16:54,909 --> 00:16:56,719
Did you get the hair?
354
00:16:56,743 --> 00:16:59,087
- he's not my son...
355
00:16:59,111 --> 00:17:00,488
Or my boyfriend.
356
00:17:00,512 --> 00:17:03,322
- oh, sweetie, I'm sorry.
357
00:17:03,346 --> 00:17:04,523
- what a night.
358
00:17:04,547 --> 00:17:06,090
- yeah, I'll say.
359
00:17:06,114 --> 00:17:08,225
I was out with a
Handsy 85-year-old
360
00:17:08,249 --> 00:17:11,848
Who doesn't get "No means
No" because he couldn't hear it.
361
00:17:15,418 --> 00:17:17,462
Where's victoria?
362
00:17:17,486 --> 00:17:20,529
- big n easy... Where else?
363
00:17:20,553 --> 00:17:23,464
- she's really getting
Addicted to that place.
364
00:17:23,488 --> 00:17:25,398
- time for an intervention?
- yeah, I think so.
365
00:17:25,422 --> 00:17:27,833
- how many interventions
Have we done for her?
366
00:17:27,857 --> 00:17:32,091
- oh, counting
Kabbalah and colonics?
367
00:17:34,794 --> 00:17:37,237
Ooh, look, a crowd... It
Must be something good.
368
00:17:37,261 --> 00:17:39,205
- ooh, hope there's more
Of that beer-battered...
369
00:17:39,229 --> 00:17:40,605
What was that?
- who cares?
370
00:17:40,629 --> 00:17:42,573
It was battered in beer.
371
00:17:42,597 --> 00:17:46,475
- don't worry. No detergent
Box will go unsigned.
372
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:47,575
- victoria?
373
00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:50,943
- joy. Uh, melanie.
374
00:17:50,967 --> 00:17:52,877
What a surprise.
375
00:17:52,901 --> 00:17:55,813
Would you excuse
Me for just a moment?
376
00:18:01,405 --> 00:18:03,916
- darling, isn't this
All a little pathetic?
377
00:18:03,940 --> 00:18:06,317
- well, I suppose some
People might think so.
378
00:18:06,341 --> 00:18:09,174
By the way, how was
Your date with your son?
379
00:18:11,009 --> 00:18:12,586
- turns out he's not my son.
380
00:18:12,610 --> 00:18:14,420
- boyfriend?
- nope.
381
00:18:14,444 --> 00:18:15,887
- you okay?
382
00:18:15,911 --> 00:18:17,155
- yep.
383
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:19,044
Free samples are helping.
384
00:18:20,414 --> 00:18:21,490
- so you bought all that stuff
385
00:18:21,514 --> 00:18:22,891
Just as an excuse
To come down here?
386
00:18:22,915 --> 00:18:25,158
- yes.
387
00:18:25,182 --> 00:18:27,793
See, I've been
Feeling very insecure
388
00:18:27,817 --> 00:18:29,828
ever since the edge of
Tomorrow was canceled,
389
00:18:29,852 --> 00:18:32,562
And I-I just didn't want
To burden you two with it.
390
00:18:32,586 --> 00:18:34,663
- you talk about
It all the time.
391
00:18:34,687 --> 00:18:38,331
- yes, but I've really
Wanted to talk about it more.
392
00:18:38,355 --> 00:18:40,899
- attention, big
N easy shoppers...
393
00:18:40,923 --> 00:18:43,567
- can you believe that's us?
394
00:18:43,591 --> 00:18:45,501
- in the deli department,
We are proud to announce
395
00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:47,636
Our latest yard-long
Hero sandwich,
396
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:49,003
The victoria chase.
397
00:18:49,027 --> 00:18:50,903
- you see, I'm a hero.
398
00:18:50,927 --> 00:18:53,004
Oh, come on. I
Promised I'd spray on
399
00:18:53,028 --> 00:18:55,628
The first foot of cheese.
400
00:18:59,965 --> 00:19:00,942
- hey, what are you doing?
401
00:19:00,966 --> 00:19:02,443
- you won't approve.
402
00:19:02,467 --> 00:19:04,243
- tell us.
403
00:19:04,267 --> 00:19:06,845
- googling the ex.
404
00:19:06,868 --> 00:19:11,347
I found a picture of
Anders and kim in paris.
405
00:19:11,371 --> 00:19:14,348
Apparently, they were
Flying to some competition...
406
00:19:14,372 --> 00:19:17,116
'cause she's a fitness model.
407
00:19:17,140 --> 00:19:20,117
- all right, take it from
Someone who went searching
408
00:19:20,141 --> 00:19:22,240
For validation in bulk.
409
00:19:25,577 --> 00:19:28,854
Sometimes it's just
Best to let things go.
410
00:19:28,878 --> 00:19:31,489
- yeah, you're right.
What's past is past.
411
00:19:31,513 --> 00:19:35,758
- still, you can't
Pretend it never existed.
412
00:19:35,782 --> 00:19:38,625
Here, let me have that.
413
00:19:38,649 --> 00:19:40,459
Tyler mentioned this website
414
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:43,427
He used to let his mother
Know he was looking for her.
415
00:19:43,451 --> 00:19:45,528
- oh, joy, this is amazing.
416
00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:48,297
Are you really thinking
Of finding your son?
417
00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:49,864
- maybe.
418
00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:51,965
It's all just a...
419
00:19:51,989 --> 00:19:52,999
A lot.
420
00:19:53,023 --> 00:19:55,367
- I can't imagine.
421
00:19:55,391 --> 00:19:58,101
- yes, you can. You're a mother.
422
00:19:58,125 --> 00:20:02,036
- hey, so are you.
423
00:20:02,060 --> 00:20:03,436
- thanks.
424
00:20:03,460 --> 00:20:06,738
Oh, it's just so weird to
Think of him out there...
425
00:20:06,762 --> 00:20:08,805
A grown man.
426
00:20:08,829 --> 00:20:11,640
He could be married,
Have kids of his own.
427
00:20:11,664 --> 00:20:13,474
I might even have...
428
00:20:13,498 --> 00:20:16,776
Grandkids.
429
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,932
- hey, maybe one of 'em's
Old enough for you to date.
430
00:20:24,237 --> 00:20:26,647
Too soon?
30503
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