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1
00:00:01,568 --> 00:00:04,604
Ah, grade school.
Really takes me back.
2
00:00:04,636 --> 00:00:06,738
The spelling bees,
the book reports.
3
00:00:06,772 --> 00:00:08,775
Pantsing kids
in the playground,
4
00:00:08,807 --> 00:00:11,144
blowing up toilets.
5
00:00:11,176 --> 00:00:13,478
Yeah,
it was a magical time.
6
00:00:13,512 --> 00:00:15,548
Ok, girls, come on,
let's go.
7
00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:17,149
Bye, Daddy.
8
00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:17,149
Oh, my love.
9
00:00:17,182 --> 00:00:19,118
My sweetheart,
you have fun today,
all right?
10
00:00:19,684 --> 00:00:20,753
No pressure, princess,
11
00:00:20,786 --> 00:00:23,189
but you better get
all A's like I did.
12
00:00:23,222 --> 00:00:25,792
Bet you didn't
get one in gym.
13
00:00:25,824 --> 00:00:29,262
Her evil's growing
stronger, Jim.
I can feel it.
14
00:00:29,295 --> 00:00:31,631
Come on, baby,
let's go.
15
00:00:31,664 --> 00:00:33,633
Hey,
see that sign there?
16
00:00:33,665 --> 00:00:36,068
Father-daughter dance
Saturday night.
17
00:00:36,101 --> 00:00:38,837
Are you ready to boog-ay
and part-ay
18
00:00:38,871 --> 00:00:40,573
with your daddy?
19
00:00:41,874 --> 00:00:43,776
Could you please
not do that?
20
00:00:43,808 --> 00:00:45,677
Oh, okay, we'll save it
for Saturday night.
21
00:00:45,710 --> 00:00:48,246
All right, now give
your dad a big kiss,
because I got to go to work
22
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:49,849
and earn that money to put
you through public school.
23
00:00:49,881 --> 00:00:51,116
No.
24
00:00:52,417 --> 00:00:53,552
Why not?
25
00:00:53,585 --> 00:00:55,253
I just don't want to.
26
00:00:55,286 --> 00:00:57,122
Come on, you always
kiss me good-bye.
27
00:00:57,155 --> 00:00:58,490
I got to go.
28
00:01:03,395 --> 00:01:05,198
I did not flunk gym.
29
00:01:05,230 --> 00:01:06,198
Okay?
I took an incomplete
30
00:01:06,231 --> 00:01:08,600
because I didn't want
to wrestle with the boys.
31
00:01:08,634 --> 00:01:10,569
I don't like man-sweat.
32
00:01:11,469 --> 00:01:13,173
Get in the truck.
33
00:01:20,578 --> 00:01:23,148
JIM: Oh, baby!
34
00:01:23,182 --> 00:01:26,385
Dana, I need
you to taste these
low-carb brownies I made
35
00:01:26,418 --> 00:01:28,221
and tell me
if you think Jim will
know the difference.
36
00:01:30,722 --> 00:01:32,457
Um...
37
00:01:32,490 --> 00:01:33,659
Not if you put
ice cream on it
38
00:01:33,691 --> 00:01:36,228
and smother it
in chocolate sauce.
39
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:38,131
But deep-fry it first
just to make sure.
40
00:01:40,331 --> 00:01:41,666
Hey, honey.
How was work?
41
00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:42,501
My work was fine.
42
00:01:42,534 --> 00:01:45,404
It's your work
that I'm worried about.
43
00:01:45,436 --> 00:01:47,305
What did you do to Ruby?
44
00:01:47,338 --> 00:01:48,840
What are you talking about?
45
00:01:48,873 --> 00:01:51,643
She's moody, she's surly,
and her attitude stinks.
46
00:01:51,677 --> 00:01:53,513
I didn't do anything.
47
00:01:53,546 --> 00:01:54,847
Well,
I'm not the bad parent,
48
00:01:54,879 --> 00:01:56,348
because I'm never
around here.
49
00:01:58,216 --> 00:02:00,385
She would not kiss me
good-bye today at school.
50
00:02:00,418 --> 00:02:01,753
And while we're at it,
51
00:02:01,787 --> 00:02:03,356
Gracie's not
a day at the beach,
either.
52
00:02:04,757 --> 00:02:06,459
Will you guys
just calm down?
53
00:02:06,492 --> 00:02:09,729
I am her daddy.
She's supposed to kiss me.
54
00:02:09,762 --> 00:02:11,531
What's going on here?
55
00:02:11,563 --> 00:02:14,633
Jim, there comes a time
in every woman's life
56
00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:17,569
when they realize
you're creepy.
57
00:02:17,603 --> 00:02:19,472
You know, there comes
a time in every woman's life
58
00:02:19,504 --> 00:02:21,873
that they should go home
and get their own life.
59
00:02:21,907 --> 00:02:26,412
Look, Jim, I know
what Ruby did hurts,
60
00:02:26,444 --> 00:02:28,413
but, you know,
you just can't
take it personally.
61
00:02:28,447 --> 00:02:30,750
That's easy for you to say.
She isn't your daughter.
62
00:02:34,620 --> 00:02:37,323
Yeah, honey,
she kind of is.
63
00:02:37,355 --> 00:02:39,891
Look, she's just being
a 9-year-old girl.
64
00:02:39,925 --> 00:02:42,929
You know, she's right.
I read about this
in my parenting books.
65
00:02:42,961 --> 00:02:46,364
It's the classic first step
towards independence.
It's very healthy.
66
00:02:46,397 --> 00:02:48,901
But is it healthy for
a single, childless woman
67
00:02:48,933 --> 00:02:50,669
to have parenting books?
68
00:02:52,270 --> 00:02:54,272
Mom sends them to me, okay?
69
00:02:54,306 --> 00:02:56,609
Just like she sends you
those Russian bride catalogs.
70
00:02:57,842 --> 00:03:00,512
Yeah, but I don't use 'em
the way she wants me to.
71
00:03:00,545 --> 00:03:01,913
Oh!
72
00:03:01,947 --> 00:03:03,949
You guys know what I mean
when I say that?
73
00:03:06,518 --> 00:03:08,687
Look, Jim,
if it helps any,
it's not just you.
74
00:03:08,721 --> 00:03:11,790
When I take her to the mall,
she's embarrassed to be
seen with me,
75
00:03:11,824 --> 00:03:13,993
so she walks, like,
20 feet ahead.
76
00:03:14,026 --> 00:03:16,963
All right, that's it.
That's the end of this era.
77
00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:18,931
I'm going to go nip it
in the butt.
78
00:03:18,963 --> 00:03:21,466
It's bud.
It's a gardening reference.
79
00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:24,370
Oh, famous sayings
is always my Achilles tendon.
80
00:03:24,402 --> 00:03:26,805
Ok, hey, honey,
come on, come on, sit down.
81
00:03:26,838 --> 00:03:30,443
Sit down. I'm telling you,
it's perfectly normal.
82
00:03:30,475 --> 00:03:32,411
I did the exact same thing
to my father.
83
00:03:32,443 --> 00:03:35,513
Oh, and look where he is.
He's dead.
84
00:03:35,546 --> 00:03:37,682
That had
nothing to do with me,
he was hit by a bus.
85
00:03:37,716 --> 00:03:41,688
Yeah, or did he fling himself
in front of a bus because you
didn't kiss him good-bye?
86
00:03:42,854 --> 00:03:43,955
Jim.
87
00:03:43,989 --> 00:03:45,825
All right, all right,
all right.
88
00:03:45,858 --> 00:03:47,293
Well, what are we
supposed to do
with Ruby?
89
00:03:47,325 --> 00:03:48,227
Okay, well,
90
00:03:48,260 --> 00:03:51,329
sometimes the best
thing to do...is nothing.
91
00:03:51,362 --> 00:03:53,832
Nothing?
92
00:03:51,362 --> 00:03:53,832
Yes, you need
to leave it alone.
93
00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:55,434
Ruby's going through
a phase.
94
00:03:55,467 --> 00:03:57,436
Oh, I know
all about those.
95
00:03:57,468 --> 00:03:59,739
You remember that
summer fling I had
with Edith Anderson?
96
00:03:59,771 --> 00:04:03,342
Yeah. What's it like
getting dumped by
a 75-year-old woman?
97
00:04:04,475 --> 00:04:07,246
She didn't dump me.
She forgot who I was.
98
00:04:08,913 --> 00:04:11,316
All right,
say I take your advice
and do nothing.
99
00:04:11,349 --> 00:04:13,885
Well, I'm guessing
Ruby will just come around.
100
00:04:13,919 --> 00:04:15,588
If she doesn't
kill me first.
101
00:04:16,622 --> 00:04:17,790
Hey, look at it this way.
102
00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:19,491
She'll get hers
when she has her own kids.
103
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:22,528
Sweet.
104
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:23,862
Yeah, yeah.
105
00:04:25,363 --> 00:04:28,700
All right,
I guess I could
just take a deep breath
106
00:04:28,733 --> 00:04:30,702
and just not let her
get to me, that's all.
107
00:04:30,735 --> 00:04:33,471
Exactly.
108
00:04:30,735 --> 00:04:33,471
Yeah, I mean, come on,
I'm the adult here, right?
109
00:04:33,504 --> 00:04:35,841
Yes, you are. You are
a great, big adult.
110
00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:38,878
Now would you go upstairs
and get Ruby for dinner?
111
00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:39,946
Yeah, sure.
112
00:04:41,913 --> 00:04:44,050
What's this, we're
throwing out brownies now?
113
00:04:44,083 --> 00:04:45,318
They're low-carb.
114
00:04:45,350 --> 00:04:46,519
Oh, carry on.
115
00:04:52,891 --> 00:04:55,328
So what are you going to wear
to the dance Saturday night?
116
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:57,362
My dress is pink,
so don't wear pink.
117
00:04:59,732 --> 00:05:01,701
Hey, Rube,
it's time for dinner.
118
00:05:01,733 --> 00:05:03,769
What? I'm on the phone.
119
00:05:03,802 --> 00:05:05,071
Well, I can see that,
honey,
120
00:05:05,103 --> 00:05:07,038
but it's time
to hang up now. Come on.
121
00:05:07,072 --> 00:05:08,607
Hold on.
122
00:05:08,639 --> 00:05:11,076
No. I'm telling Ashley
something important.
123
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:18,951
I hear that,
124
00:05:18,983 --> 00:05:23,555
but perhaps you can continue
your conversation
after we dine.
125
00:05:25,089 --> 00:05:27,392
Can you just go away?
126
00:05:27,425 --> 00:05:30,695
So, anyway, Madison says
she has some sparkly
nail polish,
127
00:05:30,728 --> 00:05:32,063
so I'm going to trade her
my lips gloss...
128
00:05:32,096 --> 00:05:33,665
(CHUCKLING)
129
00:05:32,096 --> 00:05:33,665
Hey!
130
00:05:33,699 --> 00:05:34,867
Good-bye, Ashley.
131
00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:36,935
You can't talk to me
like that.
132
00:05:36,968 --> 00:05:39,939
I'm your father.
I'm not your Uncle Andy.
133
00:05:39,971 --> 00:05:42,807
Well, you can't just
walk in here any time
you feel like it.
134
00:05:42,841 --> 00:05:44,076
Since when?
135
00:05:44,108 --> 00:05:46,846
Since I said.
This is my room!
136
00:05:47,745 --> 00:05:50,649
Well, this is my house!
137
00:05:50,682 --> 00:05:53,086
And therefore,
all the rooms are mine!
138
00:05:54,119 --> 00:05:56,021
And another thing,
139
00:05:56,053 --> 00:05:57,989
tomorrow you're going to
kiss me good-bye
at school again.
140
00:05:58,023 --> 00:05:59,558
No, I'm not.
141
00:05:58,023 --> 00:05:59,558
Yes, you are!
142
00:05:59,591 --> 00:06:00,658
You're not the boss of me!
143
00:06:00,692 --> 00:06:03,129
I certainly am
the boss of you!
144
00:06:03,161 --> 00:06:04,629
I put food
on the table.
145
00:06:04,663 --> 00:06:06,766
I buy you those
Justin Timberwolf
albums.
146
00:06:08,766 --> 00:06:10,435
So you're going to listen
to me, young lady,
147
00:06:10,468 --> 00:06:11,971
and you're going to
start loving me.
148
00:06:12,004 --> 00:06:13,004
(SCOFFS)
149
00:06:16,475 --> 00:06:17,677
(SCOFFS)
150
00:06:19,511 --> 00:06:21,848
I was going to buy you
a pony, but not now!
151
00:06:24,949 --> 00:06:26,885
Goldfish for you,
young lady!
152
00:06:32,156 --> 00:06:35,093
Ruby, aren't you going to
sit in your seat
next to Daddy?
153
00:06:35,127 --> 00:06:38,564
No, I want to sit here now,
next to Uncle Andy.
154
00:06:38,596 --> 00:06:40,899
If I could bottle
this charisma, I'd
be a millionaire.
155
00:06:43,134 --> 00:06:44,469
What the hell's this?
156
00:06:44,502 --> 00:06:47,173
I'm not sitting
next to Jim!
157
00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:49,908
I did my time in this seat.
Now I'm not going back!
158
00:06:51,043 --> 00:06:52,478
Sit.
159
00:06:52,511 --> 00:06:54,046
(HUFFS)
160
00:06:54,079 --> 00:06:55,915
Hey, Ruby, watch it.
161
00:06:55,947 --> 00:06:58,883
Uncle Andy steals food
off your plate.
162
00:06:58,916 --> 00:07:02,487
Yeah, and toilet paper
from your apartment.
163
00:07:02,521 --> 00:07:05,658
If you're going to spring
for the aloe stuff
you should lock it up.
164
00:07:07,526 --> 00:07:08,994
Hey, what the hell
is this?
165
00:07:09,026 --> 00:07:10,962
What's she doing
sitting next to me?
Where's Ruby?
166
00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:12,697
Hey, I don't like it
any more than you do.
167
00:07:12,730 --> 00:07:14,933
Ruby took my seat.
168
00:07:14,966 --> 00:07:19,572
Oh. Ruby doesn't want to sit
next to Daddy, huh?
169
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:21,674
Well, okay, that's fine.
170
00:07:21,706 --> 00:07:23,543
Could somebody please
pass the cheese?
171
00:07:26,077 --> 00:07:28,180
Ruby, it's
right next to you.
172
00:07:30,882 --> 00:07:31,883
(GASPS)
173
00:07:34,052 --> 00:07:36,021
Ruby!
174
00:07:36,053 --> 00:07:39,991
That's okay. That's okay.
I'm not the boss of her
anymore, right, Ruby?
175
00:07:40,024 --> 00:07:41,026
(SCOFFS)
176
00:07:42,961 --> 00:07:44,930
There it is again!
(SCOFFS)
177
00:07:44,963 --> 00:07:46,599
What the hell is that?
You teach her that?
178
00:07:47,699 --> 00:07:48,901
All righty.
179
00:07:48,934 --> 00:07:51,670
Well, I'm going to go
into the kitchen and talk,
180
00:07:51,702 --> 00:07:53,905
and just so I don't
look crazy,
181
00:07:53,939 --> 00:07:55,808
you want to join me, Jim?
182
00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:04,050
What?
This could be a long one.
183
00:08:06,718 --> 00:08:07,887
(SIGHS)
184
00:08:08,987 --> 00:08:11,123
Jim?
185
00:08:08,987 --> 00:08:11,123
Huh?
186
00:08:11,156 --> 00:08:13,559
When you went upstairs
to get Ruby for dinner,
187
00:08:13,591 --> 00:08:14,961
did anything happen?
188
00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:17,997
She started it.
189
00:08:19,598 --> 00:08:21,699
Oh, God, what happened?
190
00:08:21,733 --> 00:08:24,703
Well, I went up there,
and she became impossible.
191
00:08:24,735 --> 00:08:27,673
I told her to knock it off,
and I ordered her to love me.
192
00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:31,843
Jim! You know that
only works with Andy.
193
00:08:31,877 --> 00:08:35,180
Cheryl, we have two different
kinds of parenting styles,
all right?
194
00:08:35,212 --> 00:08:37,048
I'm a busy man.
I work all day.
195
00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:39,918
I don't have time
to ride out a phase.
196
00:08:39,951 --> 00:08:42,321
I told you, you need
to just leave it alone.
197
00:08:42,354 --> 00:08:44,623
I tried to,
but you weren't there.
198
00:08:44,655 --> 00:08:46,157
She called me a dumbass!
199
00:08:47,024 --> 00:08:48,026
She what?
200
00:08:48,059 --> 00:08:49,861
Well, you know,
with her eyes.
201
00:08:51,229 --> 00:08:54,033
Look, Jim, I know this
isn't going to be easy,
202
00:08:54,066 --> 00:08:56,902
but, really,
we just have
to ride this out.
203
00:08:56,934 --> 00:08:58,603
Give her some time.
204
00:08:58,636 --> 00:09:00,872
Yeah, time. Time. Right.
205
00:09:00,905 --> 00:09:02,107
That's not going to
work for me.
206
00:09:03,041 --> 00:09:04,343
I have a better idea.
207
00:09:04,375 --> 00:09:06,879
Hey, hey, honey,
um, just for fun,
208
00:09:06,912 --> 00:09:09,048
you want to
run that plan
by me real quick?
209
00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:11,149
Cheryl, you're going to have
to watch and learn.
210
00:09:11,182 --> 00:09:14,052
She wants to mess with me,
I can mess with her.
211
00:09:14,086 --> 00:09:17,022
Okay, but just think
about this one thing.
212
00:09:17,054 --> 00:09:20,859
Ruby makes a much better
9-year-old than you do.
213
00:09:22,927 --> 00:09:24,096
We'll see.
214
00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:27,299
Crap!
215
00:09:27,331 --> 00:09:29,869
Is it me,
or is this spaghetti
not her best effort?
216
00:09:33,004 --> 00:09:35,173
It's better
than her brownies.
217
00:09:36,341 --> 00:09:39,711
Well, well, well,
Cheryl,
218
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:42,815
everything
looks so delicious.
219
00:09:42,847 --> 00:09:45,183
From here,
from where I'm sitting,
220
00:09:45,216 --> 00:09:48,052
it's something else.
(CHUCKLES)
221
00:09:48,086 --> 00:09:50,221
Hey, Gracie,
why don't you
come up here
222
00:09:50,254 --> 00:09:51,957
and sit on Daddy's lap?
223
00:09:52,423 --> 00:09:53,692
Why?
224
00:09:54,993 --> 00:09:56,962
Because I love you.
225
00:09:56,995 --> 00:09:58,230
Come on, sit on my lap.
226
00:10:00,698 --> 00:10:02,800
Hey, Gracie, look at this.
227
00:10:02,833 --> 00:10:03,969
You like the view?
228
00:10:04,702 --> 00:10:06,105
Get used to it,
229
00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:08,941
'cause one day
this could all be yours,
230
00:10:08,974 --> 00:10:11,344
when in the future
you become head
of the family.
231
00:10:12,943 --> 00:10:15,947
But I want to live underwater
with all the mermaids.
232
00:10:15,980 --> 00:10:18,850
Yeah. I'd hitch your wagon
to that dream.
233
00:10:21,385 --> 00:10:24,255
Jim, honey,
what are you doing?
234
00:10:24,288 --> 00:10:27,659
Oh, I'm just loving
my daughter.
235
00:10:27,692 --> 00:10:29,961
How about that?
How was your day today?
236
00:10:29,995 --> 00:10:32,230
I made a house
out of macaroni.
237
00:10:32,264 --> 00:10:34,099
Isn't that funny?
238
00:10:34,131 --> 00:10:36,901
I build houses,
and I eat macaroni.
239
00:10:40,404 --> 00:10:45,043
(LAUGHS)
Appreciative laughter,
music to my ears.
240
00:10:45,076 --> 00:10:47,278
Go ahead, baby, go ahead.
241
00:10:47,312 --> 00:10:50,716
Okay, so my teacher took out
this huge box full of
different colored macaronis,
242
00:10:50,749 --> 00:10:53,418
and I got to pick.
I picked a bunch
of orange ones. And then...
243
00:10:53,451 --> 00:10:57,023
Orange. Orange.
What a great story!
Orange! (LAUGHS)
244
00:10:57,755 --> 00:10:58,823
But I'm not done.
245
00:10:58,856 --> 00:11:01,159
Oh, we can fill in
the blanks, honey.
246
00:11:01,192 --> 00:11:02,995
Now give Daddy
a little kiss on the cheek.
247
00:11:03,961 --> 00:11:05,997
I'll kiss you, Daddy.
248
00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:08,433
Of course you will,
because I'm your father,
and it's cool, baby.
249
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:11,302
Come on up here
and sit on my lap, Son.
250
00:11:11,336 --> 00:11:12,738
There's room
for two of us.
251
00:11:12,770 --> 00:11:13,805
Yeah, at least.
252
00:11:15,807 --> 00:11:17,076
Oh, Daddy.
253
00:11:17,109 --> 00:11:19,411
Yes, my dear, my dove,
254
00:11:19,443 --> 00:11:21,713
my young love?
255
00:11:21,746 --> 00:11:23,748
I know
what you're doing,
and it's so lame!
256
00:11:23,782 --> 00:11:25,484
Ruby!
257
00:11:25,517 --> 00:11:27,319
And I'm not going
to that school dance
with you, either!
258
00:11:30,054 --> 00:11:31,423
Great.
259
00:11:31,456 --> 00:11:33,926
It's okay. Just relax.
260
00:11:33,958 --> 00:11:35,193
Got to wait it out.
261
00:11:35,226 --> 00:11:37,995
She doesn't want to miss
that dance.
262
00:11:38,028 --> 00:11:39,764
Okay, get off my lap.
Off my lap.
263
00:11:44,135 --> 00:11:45,803
Jim?
264
00:11:44,135 --> 00:11:45,803
Hmm?
265
00:11:45,836 --> 00:11:48,173
It's 6:30. The dance
starts in half an hour.
266
00:11:48,206 --> 00:11:49,975
So?
267
00:11:48,206 --> 00:11:49,975
So?
268
00:11:50,008 --> 00:11:51,509
You said that Ruby
would come around.
269
00:11:51,543 --> 00:11:53,378
She hasn't,
so you need to go up there
and talk to her.
270
00:11:53,410 --> 00:11:55,513
Cheryl, will you relax?
271
00:11:55,547 --> 00:11:58,417
She's going to crack.
Believe me.
272
00:11:58,450 --> 00:11:59,818
You know
what your problem is?
273
00:11:59,850 --> 00:12:02,020
You don't understand
the female mind.
274
00:12:04,556 --> 00:12:05,858
And you do?
275
00:12:05,890 --> 00:12:07,325
Absolutely not.
276
00:12:08,426 --> 00:12:10,796
No one does.
It's a bees' nest up there.
277
00:12:11,830 --> 00:12:13,932
But I do understand
my daughter,
278
00:12:13,965 --> 00:12:16,201
and she wants to go to that
father-daughter dance,
believe me.
279
00:12:18,102 --> 00:12:19,937
Guess what?
280
00:12:19,971 --> 00:12:22,073
I just came
from Ruby's room,
281
00:12:22,106 --> 00:12:24,475
where she asked me
to do her hair...
282
00:12:24,509 --> 00:12:25,543
For the dance!
283
00:12:25,576 --> 00:12:27,011
Ha!
284
00:12:27,044 --> 00:12:28,246
Oh, my God,
what time is it?
285
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:30,849
Right o'clock.
286
00:12:30,881 --> 00:12:32,150
Oh.
287
00:12:32,183 --> 00:12:34,786
Good thing Daddy didn't
forget to get a corsage.
288
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:36,388
Amateur.
289
00:12:36,421 --> 00:12:38,090
You're an amateur.
290
00:12:38,123 --> 00:12:40,225
Time for me
to put my suit on.
291
00:12:40,258 --> 00:12:42,161
You know what?
I do understand children.
292
00:12:42,193 --> 00:12:43,361
Maybe I should
write a book.
293
00:12:43,394 --> 00:12:45,997
Maybe you should
read one first.
294
00:12:46,030 --> 00:12:49,267
How droll. You must keep
your goldfish in stitches.
295
00:12:51,302 --> 00:12:54,840
Wow! Look at you!
296
00:12:54,873 --> 00:12:56,175
All ready for the dance?
297
00:12:56,207 --> 00:12:57,341
Yep.
298
00:12:57,375 --> 00:12:58,943
Well, I'm going to put
my suit on.
299
00:12:58,976 --> 00:12:59,911
I'll be down in a minute.
300
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:02,414
I'm not going with you.
I asked somebody else.
301
00:13:02,447 --> 00:13:03,916
(LAUGHS)
302
00:13:03,948 --> 00:13:06,351
Look who's got
her sense of humor back.
303
00:13:06,918 --> 00:13:08,153
Allo!
304
00:13:10,187 --> 00:13:12,124
Jim, what are you doing
out of bed?
305
00:13:12,157 --> 00:13:13,926
Ruby said you were
really sick, and...
306
00:13:15,493 --> 00:13:17,329
Why's everybody looking
at me so weird?
307
00:13:19,163 --> 00:13:22,100
Ruby, what are you doing?
308
00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:24,168
You're supposed to go
to this dance with Daddy.
309
00:13:24,201 --> 00:13:26,205
Well, I want to go
with Uncle Andy.
310
00:13:26,238 --> 00:13:28,474
Oh, Jim, I swear
I had no idea.
311
00:13:33,577 --> 00:13:35,179
Oh, God, I hate
these awkward silences,
312
00:13:35,212 --> 00:13:36,581
so I'm just going to talk
until someone
interrupts me...
313
00:13:36,615 --> 00:13:39,317
Dana, shut up.
314
00:13:36,615 --> 00:13:39,317
Thank you.
315
00:13:39,350 --> 00:13:41,253
Come on, Uncle Andy.
I don't want to be late.
316
00:13:41,285 --> 00:13:42,587
No, no, no, stop.
317
00:13:42,620 --> 00:13:44,590
Nobody's going anywhere.
318
00:13:45,190 --> 00:13:46,225
Jim!
319
00:13:48,326 --> 00:13:51,897
Well, it's obvious that
she wants to go to the dance
with her Uncle Andy.
320
00:13:53,097 --> 00:13:54,298
Just let her go.
321
00:13:54,331 --> 00:13:58,169
Jim, I can't...
322
00:13:54,331 --> 00:13:58,169
Andy, take her to the dance.
323
00:14:03,140 --> 00:14:04,142
Here.
324
00:14:08,947 --> 00:14:11,082
It's this God-awful charisma.
325
00:14:14,184 --> 00:14:16,587
All right.
326
00:14:16,620 --> 00:14:18,322
Guess you should go
to the dance,
327
00:14:18,355 --> 00:14:19,958
if that's what you want.
328
00:14:20,457 --> 00:14:22,360
Is that what you want?
329
00:14:24,361 --> 00:14:25,463
Yeah.
330
00:14:31,702 --> 00:14:33,071
Wow.
331
00:14:31,702 --> 00:14:33,071
Yeah.
332
00:14:33,104 --> 00:14:34,105
(DOOR CLOSES)
333
00:14:35,974 --> 00:14:38,243
Well, at least the tradition
of Andy taking a relative
334
00:14:38,275 --> 00:14:39,510
to the dance
is alive and well.
335
00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:50,521
Hey.
336
00:14:51,556 --> 00:14:53,091
Hey.
337
00:14:53,124 --> 00:14:54,625
How you doing?
338
00:14:54,658 --> 00:14:57,629
Oh, I'm not loving
being a parent right now.
339
00:14:59,397 --> 00:15:01,300
Yeah, I've been there.
340
00:15:02,133 --> 00:15:04,036
She dumped me for Andy!
341
00:15:05,403 --> 00:15:07,572
Can you believe that?
That guy can't even dance.
342
00:15:07,605 --> 00:15:09,575
Have you seen him dance?
It's a joke!
343
00:15:10,674 --> 00:15:12,109
She wanted to go
with you.
344
00:15:12,143 --> 00:15:13,577
Well, then why did she
pick Andy?
345
00:15:13,610 --> 00:15:15,980
Why is she
pushing me away?
346
00:15:16,014 --> 00:15:18,283
Because she's trying
to grow up.
347
00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:21,052
She's trying to be
her own person.
348
00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:22,421
Isn't that what you want?
349
00:15:22,453 --> 00:15:24,956
No!
350
00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:27,525
No, I want my little girl
who says "I love you, Daddy"
351
00:15:27,558 --> 00:15:29,026
and gives me
lots of kisses.
352
00:15:29,059 --> 00:15:31,295
Oh, I know.
353
00:15:31,328 --> 00:15:32,997
That will always
be a part of her.
354
00:15:33,030 --> 00:15:35,399
It's just going to be a
little bit more on her terms.
355
00:15:35,432 --> 00:15:37,269
No, not terms.
356
00:15:39,303 --> 00:15:42,673
She's too young
for terms.
357
00:15:42,706 --> 00:15:47,278
You know what the thing is,
Jim? I mean, she's going
to push.
358
00:15:47,312 --> 00:15:49,313
She just needs to know
we're gonna be there.
359
00:15:49,346 --> 00:15:51,317
Yeah. I don't get that.
360
00:15:54,719 --> 00:15:59,191
Okay, what's the first thing
you do when you buy a belt?
361
00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:05,129
Well, I bend over and tie my
shoes to make sure the belt
can take the strain.
362
00:16:07,599 --> 00:16:09,033
Right.
363
00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:13,706
But you don't really want it
to break, because you need it
to support you.
364
00:16:18,543 --> 00:16:21,446
You're good, lady.
365
00:16:18,543 --> 00:16:21,446
Yeah.
366
00:16:21,479 --> 00:16:23,014
You are really good.
367
00:16:24,315 --> 00:16:25,651
I'm the belt, right?
368
00:16:24,315 --> 00:16:25,651
Yeah.
369
00:16:34,558 --> 00:16:35,560
(MUSIC PLAYING)
370
00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:38,797
Hey, Ruby.
371
00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:40,198
Hi, Ashley.
372
00:16:40,230 --> 00:16:41,265
Where's your dad?
373
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:43,701
He's not here.
374
00:16:43,735 --> 00:16:45,104
So who brought you?
375
00:16:50,707 --> 00:16:52,110
Oh, uh,
376
00:16:52,844 --> 00:16:54,213
nobody.
377
00:16:55,746 --> 00:16:57,348
(ROBOTIC VOICE)
Hey, Ruby,
378
00:16:57,381 --> 00:16:59,450
come on out.
379
00:16:59,484 --> 00:17:03,655
I hope you are programmed
to boo-gie!
380
00:17:05,522 --> 00:17:07,058
That weird guy
knows your name.
381
00:17:08,559 --> 00:17:10,061
You should tell
a chaperone.
382
00:17:23,374 --> 00:17:24,410
Hey.
383
00:17:25,710 --> 00:17:27,612
What are you doing here?
384
00:17:27,644 --> 00:17:30,315
Oh, I was, uh,
taking a walk in my suit,
385
00:17:30,347 --> 00:17:32,384
and I heard some music,
so I thought I'd come in.
386
00:17:47,565 --> 00:17:51,437
Well, it's going to be
a long night for you,
huh?
387
00:17:52,703 --> 00:17:55,307
You know,
if you dumped that guy,
nobody would blame you.
388
00:17:56,173 --> 00:17:58,210
I would, but he's my ride.
389
00:17:59,210 --> 00:18:00,446
I got wheels, baby.
390
00:18:01,278 --> 00:18:03,315
I'm here stag.
391
00:18:03,347 --> 00:18:06,283
You can hang with me.
What do you say?
392
00:18:06,317 --> 00:18:07,818
Well...
393
00:18:07,852 --> 00:18:09,421
(SLOW SONG PLAYING)
394
00:18:12,323 --> 00:18:13,859
Can we dance while you
think about it?
395
00:18:14,826 --> 00:18:16,495
I guess.
396
00:18:16,528 --> 00:18:17,796
"I guess."
397
00:18:20,565 --> 00:18:22,834
I'm not a very good
dancer, okay?
398
00:18:22,866 --> 00:18:25,269
So if I step
on your toes,
you'll tell me?
399
00:18:25,303 --> 00:18:27,573
It's okay. Uncle Andy
stepped on my back.
400
00:18:34,244 --> 00:18:35,746
You know what, Ruby?
401
00:18:35,779 --> 00:18:37,749
Look, if you don't want
to kiss me
402
00:18:37,781 --> 00:18:40,451
when I drop you off
at school anymore,
403
00:18:40,484 --> 00:18:43,687
or whatever, it's okay.
404
00:18:43,721 --> 00:18:45,891
Thanks.
405
00:18:45,923 --> 00:18:48,493
Is there any time that
it would be okay, though?
406
00:18:49,626 --> 00:18:50,694
Well...
407
00:18:50,728 --> 00:18:53,832
I guess you can kiss me
at bedtime, or when I'm sick.
408
00:18:53,865 --> 00:18:56,334
Or when you come home
from work.
409
00:18:56,366 --> 00:18:57,836
How about when
your friends are over?
410
00:18:58,469 --> 00:19:00,372
No.
411
00:19:00,404 --> 00:19:02,206
What if they walk
in the other room?
412
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:03,442
Way too risky.
413
00:19:04,909 --> 00:19:06,745
All right, I get it.
414
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:12,683
Ruby Tuesday,
look at you.
415
00:19:12,717 --> 00:19:15,854
Do you know that you are
the most beautiful girl
here tonight?
416
00:19:15,886 --> 00:19:17,355
Thank you, Daddy.
417
00:19:17,387 --> 00:19:19,724
And you look so grown up.
You know why?
418
00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:23,162
Because you kind of are.
419
00:19:23,961 --> 00:19:25,329
Do you think I look 12?
420
00:19:25,363 --> 00:19:27,533
Oh! (CHUCKLING)
Thirteen, easy.
421
00:19:30,300 --> 00:19:34,372
Hey, Ruby, want to go hang out
at the snack table with me,
Beth, and Erin?
422
00:19:36,708 --> 00:19:38,843
Well, I'm kind of
dancing with my dad.
423
00:19:38,875 --> 00:19:40,778
No, no, no, no,
it's okay.
424
00:19:40,811 --> 00:19:41,979
No, go ahead.
425
00:19:42,012 --> 00:19:43,781
Look, we got
your whole life to dance.
426
00:19:44,682 --> 00:19:45,717
Go ahead.
427
00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:48,287
But just remember,
when you come back,
428
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:50,922
I'll still be here.
429
00:19:50,954 --> 00:19:52,923
But, honey...
430
00:19:52,957 --> 00:19:54,326
Bring me some cookies.
431
00:20:07,337 --> 00:20:09,641
Hey. (CHUCKLES)
432
00:20:09,673 --> 00:20:12,743
Ahh, you know, I've had
eight of those Jell-O shots.
433
00:20:14,278 --> 00:20:15,681
I think they're
just Jell-O.
434
00:20:19,616 --> 00:20:21,252
So, everything okay
with you and Rube?
435
00:20:21,286 --> 00:20:23,288
Yeah, for now.
436
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,889
You see, I'm the belt.
437
00:20:25,923 --> 00:20:28,693
And I'm also
the pair of pants, you see.
438
00:20:30,761 --> 00:20:34,298
And then I bend over,
and, uh...
439
00:20:34,332 --> 00:20:37,335
You know, you got to talk
to Cheryl about this.
440
00:20:37,367 --> 00:20:39,703
All I know is, from now on
I got to really work hard
441
00:20:39,737 --> 00:20:41,605
at not embarrassing
the little girl.
442
00:20:41,638 --> 00:20:43,274
I hear that, my friend.
443
00:20:44,575 --> 00:20:45,911
(UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)
444
00:20:47,778 --> 00:20:49,047
Let's kick this pig!
445
00:20:49,079 --> 00:20:50,447
Whoo-hoo!
446
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,017
Let's bump butts!
447
00:20:53,417 --> 00:20:54,619
Down low!
448
00:20:55,519 --> 00:20:56,721
Up high!
449
00:20:57,488 --> 00:20:58,789
Turn around!
450
00:21:00,023 --> 00:21:01,025
Is this too much?
451
00:21:01,058 --> 00:21:02,560
Not enough.
452
00:21:06,830 --> 00:21:08,299
(BOTH SCOFF)
29807
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