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1
00:00:02,103 --> 00:00:03,174
Hey.
2
00:00:04,275 --> 00:00:06,106
What's with the ice pack?
3
00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:08,778
Well, Andy, today my
son took a giant step
4
00:00:08,779 --> 00:00:10,440
into manhood.
5
00:00:10,441 --> 00:00:12,243
My pants bit me.
6
00:00:15,186 --> 00:00:18,118
He had first zipper malfunction.
7
00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:21,451
Oh! Oh, ouch!
Kyle!
8
00:00:21,452 --> 00:00:23,623
Oh, this is gonna be one
of the few days in your life
9
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:24,725
you wish you were a woman.
10
00:00:26,657 --> 00:00:28,758
Today and every time
you go out on a date
11
00:00:28,759 --> 00:00:31,461
because they don't
pay for anything.
12
00:00:31,462 --> 00:00:33,133
Anyway, tip-off's
in two minutes.
13
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,054
Oh, great, just enough
time for a bathroom break.
14
00:00:37,408 --> 00:00:39,140
Still hurts, huh?
15
00:00:40,211 --> 00:00:41,741
I'm sorry, son.
16
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:43,543
Well, that's the price
we men pay
17
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:44,814
for being able to have
something to grab
18
00:00:44,815 --> 00:00:46,676
when we're trying
to emphasize a point.
19
00:00:46,677 --> 00:00:47,778
Yeah.
20
00:00:49,420 --> 00:00:51,381
And you know what?
Soon you'll be able
21
00:00:51,382 --> 00:00:52,822
to learn to take care of it,
22
00:00:52,823 --> 00:00:54,824
and these kind of mistakes
won't ever happen again.
23
00:00:54,825 --> 00:00:56,287
(ANDY SCREAMING)
24
00:01:06,437 --> 00:01:08,569
I have a Snoopy bandage.
How about you?
25
00:01:16,447 --> 00:01:17,608
JIM: Oh, baby!
26
00:01:20,811 --> 00:01:23,353
Daddy?
Yes, my sweethearts?
27
00:01:23,354 --> 00:01:25,085
We want to be allowed
to say bad words.
28
00:01:28,859 --> 00:01:30,720
You know, uh,
29
00:01:30,721 --> 00:01:33,693
cursing is a big responsibility,
30
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:36,826
and, uh, you're gonna
want to do it right.
31
00:01:36,827 --> 00:01:38,598
So, why don't you write a report
32
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,331
on the bad words
you'd like to use,
33
00:01:41,432 --> 00:01:43,103
and how you want to use them.
34
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:47,277
Right. Write 10 pages
single-spaced.
35
00:01:47,278 --> 00:01:49,440
And don't just copy it
out of an encyclopedia.
36
00:01:51,382 --> 00:01:54,214
That's a lot of work
just to say the R-word.
37
00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,217
Well, that's the price you pay.
38
00:02:00,491 --> 00:02:01,622
BOTH: The R-word?
39
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:04,694
Oh, my fault?
I can't believe you!
40
00:02:04,695 --> 00:02:06,596
Say goodbye to Ryan, everyone.
He's gonna die this weekend.
41
00:02:06,597 --> 00:02:07,697
Bye, Ryan.
Bye, Ryan.
42
00:02:07,698 --> 00:02:10,260
Oh, stop it!
What are you talking about?
43
00:02:10,261 --> 00:02:11,702
Yeah, dead man, tell them.
44
00:02:13,564 --> 00:02:15,165
I'm going to a stock car
racing driving school,
45
00:02:15,166 --> 00:02:17,338
and apparently Dana thinks
she's the boss of me.
46
00:02:18,469 --> 00:02:21,271
Well, excuse me if
don't want my fiance
47
00:02:21,272 --> 00:02:23,913
crashing into a wall
at 200 miles an hour.
48
00:02:23,914 --> 00:02:26,217
Two hundred miles an hour?
Kick ass!
49
00:02:27,878 --> 00:02:30,350
You know, at that speed,
a bug is like a bullet.
50
00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:31,882
It'll rip your arm clean off.
51
00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:35,425
Big help, Andy. Thanks.
52
00:02:35,426 --> 00:02:36,686
I've been trying
to explain to Dana
53
00:02:36,687 --> 00:02:38,558
that they take a lot
of precautions, all right?
54
00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:39,829
And it's entirely safe.
55
00:02:39,830 --> 00:02:42,362
Yeah, they give you helmets,
a fire suit.
56
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:44,334
A fire suit?
Great. Great.
57
00:02:44,335 --> 00:02:45,935
All right, so how am I gonna
introduce you at the wedding?
58
00:02:45,936 --> 00:02:47,367
"Hi, everyone,
this is my husband.
59
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:50,340
"His skin comes
from a pig."
60
00:02:50,341 --> 00:02:52,242
No, that's it. You're not
going stock car racing.
61
00:02:52,243 --> 00:02:53,403
Hey, hey...
62
00:02:53,404 --> 00:02:54,644
Yeah, you know what?
We'll see about that.
63
00:02:54,645 --> 00:02:56,647
Hey, it's okay.
I'll talk to her.
64
00:02:57,908 --> 00:02:59,609
JIM: Here's
the good news.
65
00:02:59,610 --> 00:03:01,351
The closer you get
to the wedding,
66
00:03:01,352 --> 00:03:02,653
the crazier she'll get.
67
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:05,885
Hey, Ryan, word of advice.
68
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:07,457
Be careful of those fire suits.
69
00:03:07,458 --> 00:03:08,959
They have mighty big zippers.
70
00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:14,924
Yeah, hi, I'm getting married
at your hotel on the 15th.
71
00:03:14,925 --> 00:03:16,566
Yeah, cancel everything.
72
00:03:16,567 --> 00:03:17,928
Give it. Give me.
Give me...
73
00:03:18,669 --> 00:03:20,570
Stop it!
74
00:03:20,571 --> 00:03:23,373
Hi, this is Cheryl.
I'm Dana's sister.
75
00:03:23,374 --> 00:03:24,874
False alarm.
76
00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:26,606
Yeah, good to talk
to you again, too.
77
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:27,977
Okay.
78
00:03:27,978 --> 00:03:28,979
Cheryl!
Sit!
79
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:30,481
Ow!
80
00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:32,642
Chocolate.
81
00:03:32,643 --> 00:03:34,284
But, Cheryl, he's gonna... Eat.
82
00:03:34,285 --> 00:03:35,316
Mmm.
83
00:03:39,450 --> 00:03:40,820
All right,
84
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:43,823
you're going about this
thing with Ryan all wrong.
85
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:46,556
When men are on the
threshold of a major commitment,
86
00:03:46,557 --> 00:03:48,298
they need to do
something reckless
87
00:03:48,299 --> 00:03:51,431
to prove they're still in
charge of their own destinies.
88
00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:52,732
This is really good.
Is it sugar free?
89
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,364
Yes, it is.
Can you believe it?
90
00:03:54,365 --> 00:03:55,566
Oh! Focus! Focus!
91
00:03:56,407 --> 00:03:57,467
Okay.
92
00:03:57,468 --> 00:03:58,838
When Jim and I got engaged,
93
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:01,871
he suddenly decided
he needed a motorcycle.
94
00:04:01,872 --> 00:04:05,545
And I said, "No, there's no
way you're getting one of those."
95
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:08,448
So he did, because
I made it a thing.
96
00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:09,749
Well, it is a thing.
97
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,352
Dana, honey...
98
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:13,753
(SIGHING)
99
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:14,954
Word to the wise.
100
00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:17,757
Never get between
a guy and his thing.
101
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:20,259
(SIGHS)
102
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,891
Why can't Ryan's
thing be something
103
00:04:21,892 --> 00:04:24,364
that keeps him
at home, you know?
104
00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:27,837
Like fantasy football
or girls on the Internet.
105
00:04:27,838 --> 00:04:30,500
Because that doesn't
show you he's in charge.
106
00:04:30,501 --> 00:04:32,842
He's not in charge.
I'm gonna stop him.
107
00:04:32,843 --> 00:04:34,674
No, no, no.
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
108
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:36,506
No! Dana.
109
00:04:36,507 --> 00:04:38,277
You don't stop them.
110
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,909
You let them stop themselves.
111
00:04:39,910 --> 00:04:42,613
It's like mental judo.
112
00:04:43,914 --> 00:04:45,385
I don't get it.
113
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,357
(SIGHS)
114
00:04:47,358 --> 00:04:50,520
When I gave birth to Ruby,
Jim had to go sky diving.
115
00:04:50,521 --> 00:04:52,061
This time, I didn't fight it.
116
00:04:52,062 --> 00:04:53,664
You let him go?
No!
117
00:04:56,597 --> 00:05:00,630
I told him I loved
his adventurous spirit.
118
00:05:00,631 --> 00:05:02,502
See, I didn't make it a thing,
119
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:03,733
so he forgot all about it.
120
00:05:03,734 --> 00:05:05,975
He never mentioned it again.
121
00:05:05,976 --> 00:05:07,777
Adventurous spirit.
122
00:05:07,778 --> 00:05:09,409
Yeah. He ate it up.
123
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:13,082
I even got him a helmet
that said "Geronimo Jim."
124
00:05:13,083 --> 00:05:15,645
And you weren't afraid that he
was gonna go through with it?
125
00:05:15,646 --> 00:05:16,816
Well, a little,
126
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,749
but the scientific
breakthrough was worth it.
127
00:05:21,392 --> 00:05:24,354
Wow. This whole
simple housewife thing
128
00:05:24,355 --> 00:05:25,855
is just a ruse.
129
00:05:25,856 --> 00:05:27,097
You're a genius.
130
00:05:28,659 --> 00:05:29,760
You know, I am.
131
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,963
Yes, we call it
reverse psychology.
132
00:05:33,964 --> 00:05:36,666
Oh, also, it helps if you
wear something low-cut.
133
00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:37,668
Push 'em up.
134
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,911
And I said, "Woman...
135
00:05:41,912 --> 00:05:43,113
"Woman!
136
00:05:44,515 --> 00:05:47,518
"I'm going sky diving,
and that's that!"
137
00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:51,081
I know that's right.
138
00:05:53,724 --> 00:05:56,856
And she could tell by the
wild, crazy look in my eyes
139
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,858
that I wasn't gonna back down.
140
00:05:58,859 --> 00:05:59,990
And you know what?
141
00:06:00,691 --> 00:06:02,032
She came correct.
142
00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:06,467
She even gave me a helmet
that said "Geronimo Jim."
143
00:06:07,838 --> 00:06:09,138
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
144
00:06:09,139 --> 00:06:11,441
Jim not only wears the
pants, he wears the helmet
145
00:06:11,442 --> 00:06:13,473
in this family.
That's right.
146
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:16,045
That's right. That was a
defining moment in our marriage.
147
00:06:16,046 --> 00:06:18,708
That changed the course
of our relationship,
148
00:06:18,709 --> 00:06:21,150
because it taught Cheryl
to respect
149
00:06:21,151 --> 00:06:23,554
my sov-enty as a man.
150
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:27,588
That's right.
Sov-enty.
151
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,662
So, I should just be
more assertive with Dana.
152
00:06:32,663 --> 00:06:35,124
No, not more assertive!
You gotta go wild!
153
00:06:35,125 --> 00:06:37,897
You gotta go crazy! You gotta
let them know you mean business!
154
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,569
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let us see your eyes.
155
00:06:39,570 --> 00:06:41,472
Can you get
three corners of white?
156
00:06:42,773 --> 00:06:44,053
Try it, try it.
Come on, come on.
157
00:06:45,436 --> 00:06:47,677
Come on, come on. That's
the best you can do?
158
00:06:47,678 --> 00:06:50,610
We're talking about make or
break a marriage right here.
159
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:54,184
Now look at me and say
"I'm going stock car racing!"
160
00:06:55,145 --> 00:06:57,517
I'm going stock car racing.
161
00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:59,489
Hey, that's pretty good...
162
00:06:59,490 --> 00:07:01,821
For a little girl!
Come on! Come on!
163
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,993
Look me in the eye!
Come on! Say it!
164
00:07:03,994 --> 00:07:06,055
I'm going stock car
racing, and that's that!
165
00:07:06,056 --> 00:07:08,197
Oh, oh...
166
00:07:08,198 --> 00:07:11,160
Oh... All right,
that's good, that's good.
167
00:07:11,161 --> 00:07:12,662
Now look me in the eye and say
168
00:07:12,663 --> 00:07:14,003
"I'm gonna march
right in that kitchen!"
169
00:07:14,004 --> 00:07:15,635
I'm gonna march
right in that kitchen!
170
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:16,766
"And get Jim
and Andy a beer!"
171
00:07:16,767 --> 00:07:18,469
And I'm gonna get Jim and...
172
00:07:21,111 --> 00:07:22,542
All you have to do is ask.
173
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:23,544
Oh. Thank you.
174
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,982
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
where you going?
175
00:07:32,983 --> 00:07:35,084
Where's my bad word report?
176
00:07:35,085 --> 00:07:36,556
We're taking a break.
177
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,758
We're gonna have a
tea party in the back yard.
178
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,460
I get to be the table.
179
00:07:42,893 --> 00:07:44,565
I used to be the table.
180
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,567
They stuck gum to my belly.
181
00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:48,799
Oh...
182
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:51,901
JIM: Hey!
183
00:07:51,902 --> 00:07:53,002
Huh?
184
00:07:53,003 --> 00:07:55,004
Come on, are you
a man or a wuss?
185
00:07:55,005 --> 00:07:57,907
Well, have you ever seen a
wuss drive 200 miles an hour?
186
00:07:57,908 --> 00:07:59,679
I'm gonna race stock cars.
I laid down the law!
187
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,050
All right!
188
00:08:01,051 --> 00:08:03,753
(ALL BABBLING)
189
00:08:03,754 --> 00:08:05,985
That's great, man, that's great.
When are you gonna do it?
190
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,486
I said I'd hold off
for a little bit.
191
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:10,259
I don't want to rub my
sov-enty in her face too much.
192
00:08:10,260 --> 00:08:12,892
That is so cool,
zipping around corners,
193
00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:14,594
spitting in death's face.
194
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,966
Exactly. See, I cannot wait for
that adrenaline rush, you know?
195
00:08:16,967 --> 00:08:18,598
I mean, Jim, what was
that like for you?
196
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:21,000
What?
When you went sky diving.
197
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:23,272
Oh, I didn't go sky diving.
198
00:08:23,273 --> 00:08:25,234
I mean, you know, life
just kind of got in the way.
199
00:08:25,235 --> 00:08:26,706
A lot of distractions, you know.
200
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:29,639
Kids and sports on TV
201
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,612
and Cheryl wearing
a low-cut top.
202
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,814
Tell you what.
Dana is so cute.
203
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:36,085
Yes, she is.
204
00:08:36,086 --> 00:08:37,817
Yeah. She even
bought me a cool helmet.
205
00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:40,019
I told you. That's exactly
what Cheryl did for me.
206
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,151
Yeah, and then she said
that my adventurous spirit
207
00:08:42,152 --> 00:08:43,753
was part of why
she fell in love with me.
208
00:08:43,754 --> 00:08:46,055
Adventurous spirit? That's
exactly what Cheryl said to me.
209
00:08:46,056 --> 00:08:47,958
That's exactly
what Cheryl said to me!
210
00:08:55,165 --> 00:08:57,006
Let me ask you a question.
211
00:08:57,007 --> 00:08:58,768
Was she wearing
something low-cut?
212
00:08:58,769 --> 00:09:00,039
Oh, yeah.
And it was hot.
213
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,641
It was like,
"Here's your helmet."
214
00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:02,643
That's it!
215
00:09:06,977 --> 00:09:08,748
I can't believe it.
I can't believe it.
216
00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:10,280
She used reverse
psychology on me.
217
00:09:10,981 --> 00:09:12,322
(LAUGHING)
218
00:09:13,323 --> 00:09:14,654
Wow!
219
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:16,686
You do that to
the kids all the time.
220
00:09:16,687 --> 00:09:18,188
You must feel stupid.
221
00:09:21,932 --> 00:09:24,694
We gotta take a
stand here, that's all.
222
00:09:24,695 --> 00:09:27,266
That's right. Geronimo Jim
is gonna soar like an eagle
223
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,669
as a symbol for men everywhere,
224
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,201
never to be manipulated again.
225
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:33,973
You're gonna go sky diving?
226
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,605
We're gonna go sky diving.
227
00:09:35,606 --> 00:09:36,607
Yeah!
Yeah!
228
00:09:37,808 --> 00:09:38,909
(SLOWLY) Yeah.
229
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:42,852
Ha...
230
00:09:42,853 --> 00:09:44,353
You know,
231
00:09:44,354 --> 00:09:46,956
I appreciate you guys
trying to include me,
232
00:09:46,957 --> 00:09:48,959
but this is kind of
a married guy thing.
233
00:09:50,220 --> 00:09:51,822
BOTH: You're going.
234
00:09:52,362 --> 00:09:53,694
Are you sure?
235
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,971
You know, Andy,
236
00:10:01,972 --> 00:10:04,234
that really kind of only
works for chicks, you know?
237
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,708
Are you sure?
238
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,243
Put those away!
Put them away!
239
00:10:16,887 --> 00:10:19,920
So then I grabbed Ryan's hand
and I looked into his eyes, and I said,
240
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,751
"I was wrong.
241
00:10:21,752 --> 00:10:23,793
"I want you
to go racing."
242
00:10:23,794 --> 00:10:25,254
You should have seen
the look on his face.
243
00:10:25,255 --> 00:10:27,226
Oh... I love men.
244
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:30,299
They're so simple, but they
think they're so complicated.
245
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:32,261
Aw...
246
00:10:32,262 --> 00:10:34,103
Marriage is gonna be so easy
now that I have the playbook.
247
00:10:34,104 --> 00:10:36,405
Honey, it is like
shooting fish in a barrel.
248
00:10:36,406 --> 00:10:39,308
You know, without the gun and
the unnecessary cruelty to animals.
249
00:10:39,309 --> 00:10:40,370
Right.
250
00:10:42,012 --> 00:10:43,042
(RYAN AND ANDY WHOOSHING)
251
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:46,846
I claim this cloud in the name
252
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:49,018
of Geronimo Jim!
253
00:10:49,019 --> 00:10:50,150
(CHERYL SCREAMS)
254
00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,925
What are you doing?
255
00:10:55,926 --> 00:10:58,888
Uh, you know what? Ryan was
talking about going to the stock car races,
256
00:10:58,889 --> 00:11:02,161
and it reminded me of the time
that I wanted to go sky diving.
257
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,733
Remember, you wanted
me to do it, too,
258
00:11:03,734 --> 00:11:06,366
because of my...
Adventurous spirit?
259
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:12,301
Not ringing a bell.
260
00:11:12,302 --> 00:11:14,373
I believe you said
that adventurous spirit
261
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:17,176
is one of the reasons
you fell in love with me.
262
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,949
You even bought him
this cool helmet.
263
00:11:22,152 --> 00:11:23,313
Mmm-mmm.
264
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,855
But I never went.
265
00:11:25,856 --> 00:11:29,088
And that's not very adventurous.
266
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:32,061
So, I'm going sky
diving this weekend.
267
00:11:32,062 --> 00:11:34,063
And Andy's going, too.
268
00:11:34,064 --> 00:11:35,795
Well, I gotta check my calendar.
269
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:37,867
I'm due for a teeth cleaning.
270
00:11:37,868 --> 00:11:40,399
BOTH: You're going.
271
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,072
Oh, and, Dana, I've been thinking
about this whole stock car racing thing.
272
00:11:43,073 --> 00:11:44,333
I'm not gonna do it.
273
00:11:44,334 --> 00:11:46,035
Oh, are you sure, honey?
274
00:11:46,036 --> 00:11:48,337
Because I'm
totally fine with it.
275
00:11:48,338 --> 00:11:49,879
I know.
276
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:51,800
I just figured I'd rather
go sky diving with Jim.
277
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:56,246
You know, in honor of
his adventurous spirit.
278
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,250
(GASPING)
279
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:02,792
Something wrong, sweetie?
280
00:12:02,793 --> 00:12:04,353
No, no, no, no.
281
00:12:04,354 --> 00:12:06,096
No, we're fine.
It's just so exciting.
282
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:08,828
Cheryl, where are we going?
283
00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:11,160
We're gonna go make our
adventurers a hearty meal,
284
00:12:11,161 --> 00:12:13,863
because our three men are
gonna jump out of a plane.
285
00:12:13,864 --> 00:12:16,006
But...
Sky diving, woo!
286
00:12:17,207 --> 00:12:19,738
(LAUGHING)
287
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,939
I think I pulled a little
adventurous spirit right here.
288
00:12:25,115 --> 00:12:26,745
Oh, my God, oh,
my God, oh, my God!
289
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:27,877
(SHUSHING)
290
00:12:27,878 --> 00:12:29,448
Sky diving?
291
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:32,381
He wouldn't break enough
bones in a blazing car crash?
292
00:12:32,382 --> 00:12:34,784
It's your fault.
"Adventurous spirit"?
293
00:12:34,785 --> 00:12:36,856
You used the exact same
words I used on Jim.
294
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:39,128
Well, yeah, you said
it would work.
295
00:12:39,129 --> 00:12:41,290
You can't use exact words.
You gotta mix it up.
296
00:12:41,291 --> 00:12:42,762
The monkeys talk.
297
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:50,399
I thought... I thought they just
talked about sports and boobs.
298
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:53,002
Are you sure you're
ready to get married?
299
00:12:53,003 --> 00:12:55,274
Yeah, I even
picked out the shoes.
300
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,176
All right, all right, all
right. We can fix this.
301
00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:59,048
They're good, but we are better.
302
00:12:59,049 --> 00:13:00,409
You know what?
No way. Game over.
303
00:13:00,410 --> 00:13:01,881
I'm putting an end to this.
304
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:03,412
Fine, fine.
Make it a thing.
305
00:13:03,413 --> 00:13:04,784
Then they have to do it.
306
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,287
Damn!
307
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,119
Okay, coach, what's the play?
308
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,022
Okay, I don't know,
I don't know, I don't know.
309
00:13:13,223 --> 00:13:14,564
Chocolates, talk to me.
310
00:13:17,027 --> 00:13:18,968
Ah! I got it.
311
00:13:18,969 --> 00:13:21,570
We don't call their
bluff. We raise it.
312
00:13:21,571 --> 00:13:23,373
We are going sky diving.
313
00:13:28,939 --> 00:13:31,380
Brilliant! Let's all
get ourselves killed!
314
00:13:31,381 --> 00:13:34,243
Hey, bring the kids!
315
00:13:34,244 --> 00:13:38,087
Would you relax?
Nobody's going sky diving.
316
00:13:38,088 --> 00:13:40,950
Jim is not gonna let the mother
of his children risk her life.
317
00:13:40,951 --> 00:13:42,852
So, when he says
it's too dangerous for me,
318
00:13:42,853 --> 00:13:47,456
we pounce and use
his own logic against him.
319
00:13:47,457 --> 00:13:50,260
Why can't you just withhold
sex like a normal woman?
320
00:13:52,562 --> 00:13:54,003
I can't help myself.
321
00:13:54,004 --> 00:13:55,135
I need my monkey love.
322
00:14:00,110 --> 00:14:01,510
Daddy?
Yes, girls?
323
00:14:01,511 --> 00:14:03,042
We finished our report.
324
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,613
It's only one page,
325
00:14:04,614 --> 00:14:06,254
but we really just
want to say the R-word.
326
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:11,150
Rat poo?
327
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:12,522
(BOTH GASP)
328
00:14:15,285 --> 00:14:17,186
Rat poo?
329
00:14:17,187 --> 00:14:18,458
You girls are filthy.
330
00:14:20,530 --> 00:14:23,362
Well, everything seems
to be in order here.
331
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,334
Congratulations, girls.
332
00:14:25,335 --> 00:14:29,598
From now on, you can
curse like polite sailors.
333
00:14:29,599 --> 00:14:31,541
BOTH: Rat poo, rat poo,
rat poo, rat poo!
334
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:34,473
I thought the whole
point of the report
335
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:36,505
was to keep them from
doing what they wanted.
336
00:14:36,506 --> 00:14:40,879
No, no, not after I've been
burned by reverse psychology.
337
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,082
From now on, this family's
gonna say what they mean
338
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:44,584
and mean what they say.
339
00:14:46,356 --> 00:14:48,088
I don't want to go sky diving.
340
00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:51,180
Come on, you don't mean that.
341
00:14:53,223 --> 00:14:54,363
Hey, Jim?
342
00:14:54,364 --> 00:14:55,594
Yes?
343
00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,366
I've been thinking.
344
00:14:57,367 --> 00:14:59,528
Oh, have you now?
345
00:14:59,529 --> 00:15:01,630
Yeah, um, remember 10 years ago
346
00:15:01,631 --> 00:15:03,273
when you wanted
to go sky diving?
347
00:15:04,634 --> 00:15:06,675
There was something
I didn't tell you.
348
00:15:06,676 --> 00:15:11,281
Well, today's a very good day
to come clean with it then.
349
00:15:12,382 --> 00:15:15,584
Yeah, um, the thing
I didn't tell you is...
350
00:15:15,585 --> 00:15:17,247
Yes, my young bride?
351
00:15:19,149 --> 00:15:21,420
I want to go sky diving, too.
352
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,253
(LAUGHS) Well, well...
What!
353
00:15:25,295 --> 00:15:28,027
Well, for some reason,
I got it in my head
354
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:29,999
that it was unsafe,
355
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:34,003
but you are the protector of
this family, and you're gonna do it.
356
00:15:34,004 --> 00:15:36,435
So, I figure, what's the
worst that can happen?
357
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:37,706
You know, besides our
kids becoming orphans
358
00:15:37,707 --> 00:15:39,239
in the blink of an eye.
359
00:15:42,172 --> 00:15:43,343
Well...
360
00:15:44,174 --> 00:15:45,715
I think that's...
361
00:15:47,217 --> 00:15:48,578
A great idea.
362
00:15:53,483 --> 00:15:54,724
Well...
363
00:15:55,986 --> 00:15:57,057
Great.
364
00:15:58,288 --> 00:15:59,990
Absolutely great.
365
00:16:01,291 --> 00:16:03,563
Finally...
Sky diving.
366
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:06,666
Hot damn!
367
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:10,470
Hot diggity damn!
368
00:16:12,402 --> 00:16:13,603
See you at 10,000 feet.
369
00:16:15,245 --> 00:16:16,406
Fifteen.
370
00:16:19,549 --> 00:16:21,211
Even better!
371
00:16:25,455 --> 00:16:26,516
Crap!
372
00:16:27,757 --> 00:16:29,389
I thought she was gonna fold!
373
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:32,321
This sucks!
374
00:16:32,322 --> 00:16:33,763
Sky diving's off.
375
00:16:35,425 --> 00:16:37,296
The hell it is.
376
00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:40,029
She's bluffing,
and she's gonna crack.
377
00:16:40,030 --> 00:16:41,370
Then she's gonna have to admit
378
00:16:41,371 --> 00:16:42,772
that she rat-pooed me.
379
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,037
You can use it as a verb?
380
00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:50,340
Yeah, it's right here
in the report.
381
00:16:57,117 --> 00:17:02,251
So, Ryan, here we are. Men,
holding on to our maleness.
382
00:17:02,252 --> 00:17:04,393
I gotta tell you, Jim,
my maleness has been
383
00:17:04,394 --> 00:17:06,126
sucked up into my body cavity.
384
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:10,099
Don't you chicken out.
Not now.
385
00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:11,700
Otherwise, leave them up there,
386
00:17:11,701 --> 00:17:13,503
'cause you're never
gonna get them back.
387
00:17:15,565 --> 00:17:18,438
Hey, how you doing? How's
this harness holding up?
388
00:17:19,509 --> 00:17:20,540
Huh?
389
00:17:22,312 --> 00:17:23,372
(EXCLAIMS)
390
00:17:23,373 --> 00:17:25,414
It's a little lumpy in the back.
391
00:17:25,415 --> 00:17:27,116
(LAUGHS HUMORLESSLY)
392
00:17:27,117 --> 00:17:29,718
You know, I think it's time
for my pre-jump calisthenics.
393
00:17:29,719 --> 00:17:33,322
And a one, and a two,
and a three, and a four...
394
00:17:33,323 --> 00:17:34,523
Feel that burn?
395
00:17:34,524 --> 00:17:36,054
Stop it!
396
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,427
Okay, okay, I'll be good!
397
00:17:38,428 --> 00:17:41,190
Yeah, yeah, you also said
you'd be on time. Okay?
398
00:17:41,191 --> 00:17:43,832
But you're late, and we're
stuck with the tandem harness.
399
00:17:43,833 --> 00:17:46,135
I was putting on make-up.
400
00:17:46,136 --> 00:17:48,167
Who puts on make-up to sky dive?
401
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,539
They sell videos.
402
00:17:50,540 --> 00:17:52,441
Jim, may I talk to you
in private, please?
403
00:17:52,442 --> 00:17:54,173
Yeah, yeah, sure.
404
00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:56,576
What are you
talking about? Ow.
405
00:17:57,447 --> 00:17:59,509
Andy! Ow! Ah!
Stop it!
406
00:18:01,411 --> 00:18:02,711
Okay, what's up?
407
00:18:02,712 --> 00:18:05,214
Well, a couple of things.
Yeah?
408
00:18:05,215 --> 00:18:06,685
Cheryl's not budging,
409
00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:09,459
and I lied to the
jumpmaster about my weight.
410
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,621
Can we stop this now, please?
411
00:18:12,622 --> 00:18:14,663
Not on your life.
412
00:18:14,664 --> 00:18:18,127
You know, that's funny,
because it kind of is on my life!
413
00:18:18,128 --> 00:18:19,668
I don't want to die!
414
00:18:19,669 --> 00:18:22,472
Cheryl's gonna crack
before you splat.
415
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:26,675
Okay, we're on jump run!
416
00:18:26,676 --> 00:18:28,207
Let's get ready to go!
417
00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:30,279
Jim, Cheryl,
you're gonna go first!
418
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:31,610
Check your altimeters.
419
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,482
Check your harnesses.
We're gonna have fun.
420
00:18:33,483 --> 00:18:34,844
You guys are gonna do great.
421
00:18:36,846 --> 00:18:39,188
So, is there anything
you want to say
422
00:18:39,189 --> 00:18:40,389
to the mother of your children
423
00:18:40,390 --> 00:18:41,821
before she jumps out of a plane?
424
00:18:42,352 --> 00:18:43,592
Yes.
425
00:18:43,593 --> 00:18:44,824
Remember to arch!
426
00:18:49,659 --> 00:18:50,730
I'm gonna do it!
427
00:18:51,461 --> 00:18:52,602
Go ahead!
428
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:55,364
See you on the ground!
429
00:18:55,365 --> 00:18:56,536
Stop it!
430
00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:59,638
I can't believe you!
431
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,771
You're gonna let me
jump out of a plane?
432
00:19:02,612 --> 00:19:04,513
You're not gonna jump out.
433
00:19:04,514 --> 00:19:06,775
You're just trying to trick
me like you did 10 years ago.
434
00:19:06,776 --> 00:19:09,378
Fine! I tricked you!
435
00:19:09,379 --> 00:19:10,819
That's only 'cause we
were starting a family,
436
00:19:10,820 --> 00:19:12,551
and sky diving is unsafe!
437
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,753
It is not unsafe!
438
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,885
You're jumping out of
a plane at 15,000 feet,
439
00:19:16,886 --> 00:19:21,260
trusting a nylon sheet
to float you to safety.
440
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:23,592
It is stupid!
441
00:19:23,593 --> 00:19:26,566
Where does it say that I
can't do things that are stupid?
442
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,168
Geronimo!
443
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,740
Hey! Hey!
444
00:19:31,741 --> 00:19:34,244
We're not done
with this argument!
445
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:39,948
Now that those two nut jobs
are off the plane, unhook me.
446
00:19:39,949 --> 00:19:42,251
Hey, we're not jumping!
447
00:19:42,252 --> 00:19:43,652
Oh, thank God!
448
00:19:43,653 --> 00:19:46,815
Suit yourselves,
but there's no refunds!
449
00:19:46,816 --> 00:19:48,818
Peace out, Chicago!
450
00:19:53,763 --> 00:19:55,794
Let's never be
like Jim and Cheryl.
451
00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:57,796
Yeah. I'd say
that's a good goal.
452
00:19:57,797 --> 00:20:01,230
I think I'm going to throw up.
453
00:20:01,231 --> 00:20:02,802
Look out, Evanston.
454
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:05,304
Don't jump.
455
00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:06,705
You know, I got to
be honest with you,
456
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:08,407
I never wanted to do
this in the first place.
457
00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:09,778
So no stock car racing?
458
00:20:09,779 --> 00:20:12,511
No. I mean...
459
00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:14,384
You know, maybe
after the first child.
460
00:20:15,345 --> 00:20:16,446
I love you.
461
00:20:18,288 --> 00:20:19,289
(GROANING)
462
00:20:20,890 --> 00:20:23,493
If we were alone, we could
join the mile-high club.
463
00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:26,856
Rat poo!
464
00:20:36,366 --> 00:20:39,438
Jim! Jim!
465
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,841
You get back on that
plane right now!
466
00:20:43,913 --> 00:20:45,944
All right!
467
00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:47,646
I tricked you.
468
00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:49,718
But it's not because
I want to control you,
469
00:20:49,719 --> 00:20:53,022
it's because I love you
and I want you alive!
470
00:20:55,355 --> 00:20:56,685
Hey!
471
00:20:56,686 --> 00:20:58,558
Hey, I am talking to you!
472
00:20:59,889 --> 00:21:02,332
I think I just wet my pants!
473
00:21:04,994 --> 00:21:07,537
(BOTH YELLING)
474
00:21:09,299 --> 00:21:10,340
(ANDY YELLING)
31238
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