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1
00:00:01,172 --> 00:00:02,772
Good night, you guys.
See you at work.
2
00:00:02,773 --> 00:00:04,374
Gwen, thanks so much for coming.
3
00:00:04,375 --> 00:00:07,207
Don't forget your goodie bag.
4
00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,378
Bet you never got a goodie bag
5
00:00:08,379 --> 00:00:11,081
at a bachelorette party, huh?
6
00:00:11,082 --> 00:00:13,613
Not with homemade
salad dressing.
7
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:15,485
You know, if you want
the recipe...
8
00:00:15,486 --> 00:00:18,118
Yeah. Good night.
9
00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:20,690
Good night! Whoo!
10
00:00:20,691 --> 00:00:22,492
That was some party, huh?
11
00:00:22,493 --> 00:00:24,724
Great! Yeah, thank you
for throwing it for me.
12
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:27,427
Oh, honey. Hey, what was
your favorite part?
13
00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:30,060
Uh... Well, let's...
14
00:00:30,061 --> 00:00:31,661
Well, we knitted tea cozies.
15
00:00:31,662 --> 00:00:33,233
Yeah.
16
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:35,405
We painted pottery.
Right.
17
00:00:35,406 --> 00:00:37,408
We sat on balloons
and made them pop.
18
00:00:39,810 --> 00:00:42,412
Don't make me choose.
19
00:00:42,413 --> 00:00:44,144
(YAWNS)
20
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:45,415
I am beat.
21
00:00:45,416 --> 00:00:47,417
Oh, I know. It's
been a long night.
22
00:00:47,418 --> 00:00:49,780
God, it's
already... 9:15?
23
00:00:50,421 --> 00:00:52,682
Whoa, 9:15?
24
00:00:52,683 --> 00:00:55,285
Man, I better clean up
in the morning.
25
00:00:55,286 --> 00:00:57,427
We're meeting with
the caterer tomorrow,
26
00:00:57,428 --> 00:01:00,230
and we have the final
fitting for your dress.
27
00:01:00,231 --> 00:01:03,164
Oh, you are gonna be
such a beautiful bride.
28
00:01:04,395 --> 00:01:05,535
Oh, good night.
29
00:01:05,536 --> 00:01:07,437
Good night.
Hope I can sleep.
30
00:01:07,438 --> 00:01:11,070
God, I'm so wired
from the party.
31
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:14,073
It's hard to come down
off that knitting high, huh?
32
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,205
Yeah.
33
00:01:15,206 --> 00:01:16,446
Love you.
34
00:01:16,447 --> 00:01:17,707
Love you!
35
00:01:17,708 --> 00:01:19,150
Hate this.
36
00:01:21,452 --> 00:01:22,713
(SIGHS)
37
00:01:24,355 --> 00:01:25,685
Hey!
38
00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:26,756
Hey.
39
00:01:26,757 --> 00:01:28,458
What's going on here?
40
00:01:28,459 --> 00:01:31,491
Where'd the cattle go?
Huh?
41
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,193
Sorry, party's over.
42
00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:34,324
BOTH: What?
43
00:01:34,325 --> 00:01:35,625
No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait.
44
00:01:35,626 --> 00:01:37,197
No naked pillow fights?
45
00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:38,598
No JELL-O wrestling?
46
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,401
No "let's kiss just to
see if we like it"?
47
00:01:42,273 --> 00:01:44,474
Damn!
48
00:01:44,475 --> 00:01:48,209
You mean I taped over
Gracie's dance recital for nothing?
49
00:01:48,879 --> 00:01:50,780
Wow. Lame party.
50
00:01:50,781 --> 00:01:52,482
Yeah, well, when you start
with a lesson
51
00:01:52,483 --> 00:01:55,615
from the origami lady,
you burn out quick.
52
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,888
You know, unless you're 6
or 60, Cheryl's parties suck.
53
00:01:58,889 --> 00:02:00,820
JIM AND DANA: Yeah.
54
00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:04,394
Even in fast forward,
this party is slow.
55
00:02:04,395 --> 00:02:07,757
Well, at least I have
this little paper bird
56
00:02:07,758 --> 00:02:10,260
to remind me of this night.
57
00:02:10,261 --> 00:02:12,363
It doesn't even fly!
What the hell?
58
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:18,338
Dana, Dana, wait a second,
wait a second. Hey.
59
00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:20,370
You looking for a little fun?
60
00:02:20,371 --> 00:02:22,442
Because I happen to know
a gentleman
61
00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:25,376
who has a Master's degree
in "fun-ology."
62
00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:30,180
He studied at the Royal
Academy of Fun, did he not?
63
00:02:30,181 --> 00:02:34,524
Yes, he was in charge
of "fun-raising."
64
00:02:34,525 --> 00:02:38,658
Yes, yes, yes. And his jolly old
sidekick who goes by the name of Fun-dy.
65
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:39,759
Yes!
66
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,761
Ok, I get it.
It's you two,
67
00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,293
and you're both fun.
68
00:02:43,294 --> 00:02:46,196
Exactly. And Mr. Fun-dy
and myself
69
00:02:46,197 --> 00:02:49,899
would like to take you out
and give you a proper sendoff.
70
00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:52,942
I'm gonna go out for my
bachelorette party with you two?
71
00:02:52,943 --> 00:02:54,244
No, thanks.
72
00:02:54,245 --> 00:02:56,306
Fine! Fine!
Go home and pout.
73
00:02:56,307 --> 00:02:57,747
Or you can come out with us
74
00:02:57,748 --> 00:02:59,779
and have a night
you won't remember
75
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,952
the rest of your life.
76
00:03:04,315 --> 00:03:06,185
Booze?
Lots.
77
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,657
Music?
Loud!
78
00:03:07,658 --> 00:03:08,919
Strippers?
Oh, yeah!
79
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:12,262
She means male strippers.
80
00:03:12,263 --> 00:03:14,464
Ow.
81
00:03:14,465 --> 00:03:16,366
What the heck? Let's
do it! All right! Come on!
82
00:03:16,367 --> 00:03:18,368
We're gonna need a
chauffeur for the evening.
83
00:03:18,369 --> 00:03:20,701
Andy, call us a cab.
You're a cab.
84
00:03:24,735 --> 00:03:26,935
Trust me, in three hours,
that's gonna sound real funny.
85
00:03:27,578 --> 00:03:28,738
Come on, let's go.
86
00:03:28,739 --> 00:03:30,281
Get the cab.
87
00:03:36,647 --> 00:03:38,249
JIM: Oh, baby!
88
00:03:46,857 --> 00:03:48,859
Shh! Be quiet.
89
00:03:50,761 --> 00:03:52,832
I can't believe you did that.
90
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,834
I know!
91
00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:57,568
I know! I can't
believe it myself.
92
00:03:59,910 --> 00:04:01,812
What exactly did I do?
93
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:03,914
No idea.
94
00:04:05,276 --> 00:04:07,317
But it sure was funny.
95
00:04:07,318 --> 00:04:10,980
It was. It really was.
(LAUGHS)
96
00:04:10,981 --> 00:04:13,283
Ooh, I'm hungry.
I want eggs.
97
00:04:13,284 --> 00:04:15,885
Yes! Eggs and breakfast.
98
00:04:15,886 --> 00:04:17,026
(RATTLING)
99
00:04:17,027 --> 00:04:18,289
Shh!
100
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,692
You're gonna wake up breakfast!
101
00:04:22,533 --> 00:04:24,534
(LAUGHING)
102
00:04:24,535 --> 00:04:26,266
You said
"wake up breakfast."
103
00:04:27,738 --> 00:04:28,968
I did!
104
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:30,900
(LAUGHING)
105
00:04:30,901 --> 00:04:33,673
All right.
Eggs it is.
106
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:35,675
And pancakes.
Yes.
107
00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:38,378
Hey, let's have
a bucket of hash browns.
108
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:40,650
And we'll smother it
with spaghetti!
109
00:04:40,651 --> 00:04:41,681
Aw...
110
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:43,283
Hot spaghetti.
111
00:04:44,655 --> 00:04:46,386
Shh! Andy!
112
00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:47,688
Shh!
Shut up!
113
00:04:48,619 --> 00:04:49,990
What is going on down here?
114
00:04:51,462 --> 00:04:52,722
Ow!
115
00:04:52,723 --> 00:04:54,764
Honey, uh...
116
00:04:54,765 --> 00:04:58,027
Andy and I, we woke up early,
117
00:04:58,028 --> 00:05:00,631
and we're gonna
make some breakfast.
118
00:05:01,772 --> 00:05:04,834
Cajun style!
119
00:05:04,835 --> 00:05:06,806
Down in the bayou!
120
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,578
(BOTH SINGING)
121
00:05:08,579 --> 00:05:11,711
Guys, shut up! You
are so drunk! Shh!
122
00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:12,812
Shh!
123
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,344
It's 5:00 in the morning.
124
00:05:14,345 --> 00:05:15,816
What were you doing?
125
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,018
Drinking.
126
00:05:19,950 --> 00:05:21,721
And wrestling gators.
127
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:23,753
On Bourbon Street.
128
00:05:23,754 --> 00:05:25,826
Down in the bayou!
Shh! Shh!
129
00:05:26,897 --> 00:05:28,699
Where were you guys all night?
130
00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:31,562
It's a little fuzzy, ok?
131
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:35,606
But I know we were definitely...
132
00:05:36,467 --> 00:05:38,869
Not here.
133
00:05:40,911 --> 00:05:43,513
We were in a cab.
I know that.
134
00:05:43,514 --> 00:05:44,945
I have the receipt.
135
00:05:46,016 --> 00:05:47,977
What other receipts do you have?
136
00:05:47,978 --> 00:05:49,519
Let's see...
137
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,681
Oh, we were at Antlers.
138
00:05:51,682 --> 00:05:54,454
Ooh, I managed to get a number.
139
00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:55,486
Ooh!
140
00:05:56,827 --> 00:05:58,659
Any chance Gus is a girl?
141
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:09,469
I thought you guys were over at
Andy's watching a Karate Kid marathon.
142
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:11,871
Instead you were out
getting blasto?
143
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,674
Excuse me, Cherie...
144
00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:17,407
It's blotto.
145
00:06:17,408 --> 00:06:19,378
Oh!
146
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:22,012
And we were in total control.
147
00:06:23,414 --> 00:06:24,955
(PATRONS SHOUTING)
148
00:06:28,619 --> 00:06:29,890
(CHEERING)
149
00:06:31,121 --> 00:06:34,123
You call that in control?
150
00:06:34,124 --> 00:06:36,466
Hey, at least we didn't
fall off the bar.
151
00:06:36,467 --> 00:06:37,498
Ah!
152
00:06:42,773 --> 00:06:44,734
And, Cherie, let me tell you,
153
00:06:44,735 --> 00:06:45,936
a lot of people had fun.
154
00:06:48,739 --> 00:06:49,780
Jim!
155
00:06:50,981 --> 00:06:52,782
Mmm...
156
00:06:52,783 --> 00:06:54,644
You should have seen
how much Dana made.
157
00:06:54,645 --> 00:06:55,746
Whoo!
158
00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:57,187
What?
159
00:07:02,593 --> 00:07:04,924
She dancin' Cajun style!
160
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,997
Just like down in the bayou!
161
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,461
That's where we got that.
162
00:07:11,462 --> 00:07:12,562
Ahh!
163
00:07:12,563 --> 00:07:14,534
Hey, hey, hey. Focus!
164
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:16,936
What was Dana doing there?
165
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,540
She was having a
bachelorette party.
166
00:07:20,671 --> 00:07:22,872
I gave her a bachelorette party.
167
00:07:22,873 --> 00:07:26,646
You gave her a tea party.
168
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:29,519
We actually gave her a
party where there was fun.
169
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:32,482
You mean, Cajun-style fun!
170
00:07:32,483 --> 00:07:34,123
Down in the bayou!
171
00:07:34,124 --> 00:07:35,825
(BOTH SINGING)
172
00:07:35,826 --> 00:07:37,727
Hey, hey, hey!
173
00:07:37,728 --> 00:07:40,630
My party was fun!
We made s'mores!
174
00:07:40,631 --> 00:07:42,632
Shh!
175
00:07:42,633 --> 00:07:44,995
Cherie, you're gonna
wake up Cheryl!
176
00:07:47,898 --> 00:07:51,140
I'm gonna call Dana to make
sure she made it home ok.
177
00:07:51,141 --> 00:07:54,204
You did take her home,
right? You got her home?
178
00:08:02,953 --> 00:08:05,716
I don't think I have
a receipt for that.
179
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:10,720
Oh, my God!
You lost my sister!
180
00:08:10,721 --> 00:08:11,762
Hey!
181
00:08:12,823 --> 00:08:14,665
She's my sister, too.
182
00:08:20,631 --> 00:08:23,272
Yes, we did lose her.
183
00:08:23,273 --> 00:08:25,875
But I think I know where she is.
184
00:08:25,876 --> 00:08:28,007
Don't you dare say it!
185
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,079
Got to.
She down on the bayou!
186
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:31,741
And the gator's got my baby!
187
00:08:31,742 --> 00:08:33,684
♪ Chomp, Chomp
Pajama chomp... ♪
188
00:08:38,889 --> 00:08:40,651
Don't worry, Carol.
189
00:08:42,292 --> 00:08:45,294
We'll find Dana.
190
00:08:45,295 --> 00:08:47,928
Absolutely. We got a
paper trail right there.
191
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,261
Yep, we just go through
these retrace
192
00:08:52,262 --> 00:08:54,204
and we'll receipts our steps.
193
00:08:57,167 --> 00:08:59,169
Or I could call her cell.
194
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,872
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
195
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,723
(GRUNTING)
196
00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:15,184
Oh, my God.
197
00:09:15,185 --> 00:09:17,728
I hear some kind
of a grunting sound.
198
00:09:18,989 --> 00:09:21,060
Cheryl, it's probably Ryan,
199
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,634
and they're in the
middle of... Hang up!
200
00:09:24,795 --> 00:09:26,096
I'll have a listen.
201
00:09:26,897 --> 00:09:28,898
No!
202
00:09:28,899 --> 00:09:31,801
It can't be Ryan. He's in Milwaukee
at an OB/GYN conference.
203
00:09:31,802 --> 00:09:34,644
Honey, it sounds like
some kind of wild animal.
204
00:09:34,645 --> 00:09:36,205
Listen.
205
00:09:36,206 --> 00:09:38,178
(GRUNTING)
206
00:09:39,009 --> 00:09:40,611
Ah. It's Bobo.
207
00:09:42,352 --> 00:09:44,854
Oh, right. Bobo.
208
00:09:44,855 --> 00:09:46,956
Bobo, Bobo, relax.
Calm down.
209
00:09:46,957 --> 00:09:48,819
You're not making any sense.
210
00:09:50,020 --> 00:09:51,290
Who the hell is Bobo?
211
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:53,863
He's the chimp at the zoo.
212
00:09:53,864 --> 00:09:55,665
She's in a cage with a chimp?
213
00:09:55,666 --> 00:09:57,596
(LAUGHS) No!
214
00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:00,870
She must have just dropped
her cell phone there, that's all.
215
00:10:00,871 --> 00:10:03,002
What were you doing at the zoo?
216
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:05,636
I think I had a hankering
for some peanuts.
217
00:10:07,678 --> 00:10:08,738
What about Dana?
218
00:10:08,739 --> 00:10:10,139
Oh, she was laughing.
219
00:10:10,140 --> 00:10:13,113
She had a ball sliding
down the penguin slide.
220
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,345
No! Where is she?
221
00:10:16,346 --> 00:10:20,049
Mm. Okay, well,
according to this timeline,
222
00:10:20,050 --> 00:10:23,723
the zoo was before the
male strip club. Mm-hmm.
223
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,725
And Dana was definitely
with us there.
224
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:30,100
Oh, yeah. That's where
I made my classic toast.
225
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:33,904
(CHEERING)
226
00:10:39,670 --> 00:10:42,913
Holy crap, that guy's
junk can't be real.
227
00:10:46,316 --> 00:10:48,117
I got to make a toast.
228
00:10:48,118 --> 00:10:50,280
I'm not gay, but
I'll drink to that.
229
00:10:51,081 --> 00:10:52,222
For Dana.
230
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:54,423
All right, ladies.
231
00:10:54,424 --> 00:10:56,125
Ladies! Ladies!
232
00:10:56,126 --> 00:10:57,928
Pipe down, you horny hens.
233
00:10:59,289 --> 00:11:00,890
Take it off or sit down!
234
00:11:00,891 --> 00:11:02,161
Yeah!
235
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,933
(CHEERING)
236
00:11:03,934 --> 00:11:05,695
DANA: Hey, Jim...
237
00:11:05,696 --> 00:11:06,697
(WOMEN CHEERING)
238
00:11:11,341 --> 00:11:12,772
To Dana!
239
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:14,073
Yes.
240
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:16,806
To this beautiful young
bride-to-be.
241
00:11:16,807 --> 00:11:19,909
Whoo! That's me!
Thank you. Rock on.
242
00:11:19,910 --> 00:11:21,711
Thank you, Chicago.
243
00:11:21,712 --> 00:11:23,112
Yes.
244
00:11:23,113 --> 00:11:27,316
Here, Dana. To your last
gasp of freedom ever!
245
00:11:27,317 --> 00:11:29,219
(CHEERING AND WHOOPING)
246
00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:32,062
No, I'm serious, Dana.
247
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:37,197
You know, marriage
is like a prison.
248
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,831
You got to check in
with the warden,
249
00:11:41,832 --> 00:11:45,074
you're on permanent
laundry duty,
250
00:11:45,075 --> 00:11:48,939
and you can only have sex with
one person for the rest of your life.
251
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:51,380
Actually, Jim, I'm not sure
252
00:11:51,381 --> 00:11:54,043
that's technically
true of prison.
253
00:11:54,044 --> 00:11:58,788
Dana, you will now be one of
the many mothers in carpool,
254
00:11:58,789 --> 00:12:01,951
sitting home quietly
and drinking and wondering,
255
00:12:01,952 --> 00:12:04,353
"Where did it all
go wrong?"
256
00:12:04,354 --> 00:12:06,725
So say good-bye to briefcases
257
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,497
and Armani, and say hello
258
00:12:08,498 --> 00:12:10,199
to apron strings and babies.
259
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:11,501
Whaa! Whaa!
260
00:12:12,502 --> 00:12:14,363
Hey, I like kids.
261
00:12:14,364 --> 00:12:15,504
Well, you better,
262
00:12:15,505 --> 00:12:17,838
because they'll put
your body through hell.
263
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:20,770
So here's to Dana,
264
00:12:20,771 --> 00:12:23,042
who once was alive and free,
265
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:26,045
and now who's trapped
and practically dead.
266
00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:28,117
(CHUCKLING)
Hear! Hear!
267
00:12:28,118 --> 00:12:29,319
Ahh!
Ahh!
268
00:12:32,322 --> 00:12:35,154
Marriage is like a prison?
269
00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:37,256
Is that what you think about us?
270
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:40,329
No, of course not!
271
00:12:40,330 --> 00:12:42,132
I love being married.
272
00:12:42,893 --> 00:12:44,434
I got a good deal.
273
00:12:45,996 --> 00:12:47,436
Must be hell on you.
274
00:12:47,437 --> 00:12:49,338
Yeah.
275
00:12:49,339 --> 00:12:51,801
It's just drunk talk, Cheryl.
276
00:12:51,802 --> 00:12:54,004
That's what guys do
at bachelor parties.
277
00:12:54,504 --> 00:12:56,545
Guys, not girls.
278
00:12:56,546 --> 00:12:58,277
We talk about shoes and dresses
279
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,549
and seating arrangements,
not silly things
280
00:13:00,550 --> 00:13:02,510
like what the rest of our
lives are gonna be like.
281
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,085
No, we focus on the big day.
282
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:08,158
Well, you should focus
on the day after.
283
00:13:09,059 --> 00:13:10,489
That's what guys do.
284
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,421
Yeah, because it's a test.
285
00:13:12,422 --> 00:13:14,824
If they can take it, then
they're ready to get married.
286
00:13:14,825 --> 00:13:17,367
And if not, then
we got a runner.
287
00:13:20,570 --> 00:13:23,572
God. You must have
scared her to death.
288
00:13:23,573 --> 00:13:26,275
Oh, she was laughing
and having a great time.
289
00:13:26,276 --> 00:13:28,277
Yeah, think.
Was there any point at which
290
00:13:28,278 --> 00:13:30,580
she wasn't laughing
and having a great time?
291
00:13:33,583 --> 00:13:37,186
She got a little quiet...
292
00:13:37,187 --> 00:13:39,890
At that bar with all the trains.
293
00:13:41,191 --> 00:13:43,193
That was a train station.
294
00:13:45,095 --> 00:13:48,458
Dana's on the 5:00 AM.
To mil-wa-ukee.
295
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,062
What? Milwaukee?
296
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:54,533
Ryan's in Milwaukee!
297
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:55,935
Yes.
298
00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:57,136
That's right.
299
00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:59,138
She said she was so
moved by my speech,
300
00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:01,470
she wanted to go up and see Ryan
301
00:14:01,471 --> 00:14:03,944
so she could fall off
the bedding with him.
302
00:14:04,614 --> 00:14:05,615
What?
303
00:14:06,276 --> 00:14:07,616
No, Jim!
304
00:14:07,617 --> 00:14:09,919
Fall off the bedding.
You know that...
305
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:12,281
Crawl off to Redding.
306
00:14:12,282 --> 00:14:13,482
No, no...
307
00:14:13,483 --> 00:14:15,885
Fall off the bedding
doesn't make any sense.
308
00:14:15,886 --> 00:14:17,486
She said, "Fall off
the bedding."
309
00:14:17,487 --> 00:14:18,527
You must have been hammered.
310
00:14:18,528 --> 00:14:20,129
I certainly was.
311
00:14:20,130 --> 00:14:21,630
Hey, guys!
312
00:14:21,631 --> 00:14:24,935
What did Dana say?
313
00:14:26,136 --> 00:14:28,197
I have to call off the wedding.
314
00:14:28,198 --> 00:14:29,969
I have to call off the wedding!
315
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:30,971
(EXCLAIMS)
316
00:14:32,642 --> 00:14:33,974
Oh!
ANDY: Ah!
317
00:14:36,306 --> 00:14:38,507
Well, that makes sense.
318
00:14:38,508 --> 00:14:39,648
Jim.
319
00:14:39,649 --> 00:14:42,382
Jim, I think we got
ourselves a runner.
320
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,487
Ok! You guys,
it's 5:35.
321
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,159
If we hurry, we can stop her
from making
322
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:51,520
the stupidest mistake
of her life.
323
00:14:51,521 --> 00:14:53,392
Wait, second stupidest.
324
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,264
The stupidest was letting
you two jackasses
325
00:14:55,265 --> 00:14:58,067
throw her a bachelorette party!
326
00:14:58,068 --> 00:14:59,899
Cheryl! Hold it!
327
00:15:02,072 --> 00:15:03,373
Where's the parmesan?
328
00:15:06,376 --> 00:15:08,137
You are coming with me.
329
00:15:08,138 --> 00:15:09,278
And you're gonna tell her
that I love you
330
00:15:09,279 --> 00:15:10,409
and you love me,
331
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,412
and how damn wonderful
marriage is!
332
00:15:19,089 --> 00:15:22,291
And while the risk
of ectopic pregnancy is rare,
333
00:15:22,292 --> 00:15:24,954
our double-blind study
indicates that there is...
334
00:15:24,955 --> 00:15:27,427
All right, listen up, you gynos!
335
00:15:29,159 --> 00:15:31,200
Ryan? Where are you?
336
00:15:31,201 --> 00:15:32,261
Excuse me, ma'am...
337
00:15:32,262 --> 00:15:34,163
I know you're out there.
338
00:15:34,164 --> 00:15:36,335
All right, listen to me,
listen to me.
339
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:39,268
The wedding is off!
340
00:15:39,269 --> 00:15:41,410
Because I don't want
the kind of marriage
341
00:15:41,411 --> 00:15:44,344
that's a prison
with baby strings and aprons!
342
00:15:45,715 --> 00:15:51,181
I have a career
and I need good shoes for it.
343
00:15:52,522 --> 00:15:54,723
And I want romance,
344
00:15:54,724 --> 00:15:56,385
and I want sex.
345
00:15:56,386 --> 00:15:58,428
I want a lotta, lotta sex!
346
00:16:01,291 --> 00:16:03,493
Hey! There's writing
on my boobs.
347
00:16:07,197 --> 00:16:09,368
And if you don't like my body
348
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:12,101
after it's been ravaged
by birth,
349
00:16:12,102 --> 00:16:15,204
there's a lot of guys
out there who would.
350
00:16:15,205 --> 00:16:16,606
Show of hands!
351
00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:25,355
What's the matter, lady?
You don't like what you see?
352
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:33,222
And I do not want
to drive a minivan
353
00:16:33,223 --> 00:16:35,724
in a carpool
and then just be dead.
354
00:16:35,725 --> 00:16:39,098
Hear me, and hear me good,
Ryan Gibson.
355
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:41,401
You will not oppress me!
356
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,733
Oh, Dr. Gibson?
He left early.
357
00:16:44,734 --> 00:16:46,776
He said he missed his fiancee.
358
00:16:49,279 --> 00:16:50,340
Aww.
359
00:16:53,643 --> 00:16:54,784
Well...
360
00:16:55,785 --> 00:16:58,747
While I have your attention,
361
00:16:58,748 --> 00:17:01,550
those instruments
362
00:17:01,551 --> 00:17:02,792
are cold.
363
00:17:07,197 --> 00:17:08,428
You think about it.
364
00:17:14,804 --> 00:17:17,736
Oh! Dana!
Oh, thank God!
365
00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:20,469
Don't do it.
Don't call off the wedding.
366
00:17:20,470 --> 00:17:23,172
It's ok.
I never found Ryan.
367
00:17:23,173 --> 00:17:25,415
But I did find a roomful
of gynecologists.
368
00:17:26,516 --> 00:17:28,077
Tough crowd.
369
00:17:28,078 --> 00:17:30,420
Maybe I should have had
my legs up in the air.
370
00:17:32,782 --> 00:17:35,485
Bobo, I'm roaming.
Stop calling!
371
00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:40,689
Where's Ryan?
372
00:17:40,690 --> 00:17:42,631
He left the conference early.
373
00:17:42,632 --> 00:17:45,834
Apparently
he missed his fiancee.
374
00:17:45,835 --> 00:17:48,767
Oh...
I'm such an idiot.
375
00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:51,270
Oh, Dana.
You are an idiot.
376
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:52,641
Jim!
377
00:17:52,642 --> 00:17:54,443
She is, for misunderstanding
378
00:17:54,444 --> 00:17:56,575
what I was trying
to say last night.
379
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,178
All right, look, you're right.
380
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:03,081
I might have skewed it
a tad on the dark side.
381
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,355
You mean when you compared
marriage to prison and hell?
382
00:18:07,317 --> 00:18:09,718
Yeah, that's it.
383
00:18:09,719 --> 00:18:13,122
But the fact is,
Ryan is a great guy.
384
00:18:13,123 --> 00:18:14,723
And I was just trying
to make sure
385
00:18:14,724 --> 00:18:17,366
that you were ready
to take this big step.
386
00:18:17,367 --> 00:18:20,869
And, look, I would do it
for any guy I cared for.
387
00:18:20,870 --> 00:18:23,472
And I did it for you
because I...
388
00:18:23,473 --> 00:18:24,804
Care for you, too.
389
00:18:25,735 --> 00:18:26,876
A lot.
390
00:18:27,577 --> 00:18:29,309
I appreciate that.
391
00:18:30,180 --> 00:18:32,211
I'm just so mixed up.
392
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:34,883
Sure. Sure, you're having
a lot of feelings right now.
393
00:18:34,884 --> 00:18:36,315
Yeah.
394
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:37,886
You're having a lot of emotions.
395
00:18:37,887 --> 00:18:39,148
Mm-hmm.
396
00:18:39,149 --> 00:18:40,150
Cheryl?
397
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:42,251
Tag me out?
398
00:18:42,252 --> 00:18:43,353
Yeah.
399
00:18:51,461 --> 00:18:54,903
How could I be so stupid
to let Jim get to me?
400
00:18:54,904 --> 00:18:56,365
He said things
were gonna change,
401
00:18:56,366 --> 00:18:58,637
and I actually believed him.
402
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,770
Yeah, about that
changing thing...
403
00:19:01,911 --> 00:19:04,142
It's kind of true.
404
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,314
They are gonna change?
405
00:19:05,315 --> 00:19:06,375
Yeah.
406
00:19:06,376 --> 00:19:07,646
Marriage is like prison?
407
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:10,179
No, no. Marriage
is not like prison.
408
00:19:10,180 --> 00:19:11,181
(FARTS)
409
00:19:14,384 --> 00:19:17,457
No, you know, actually
in a lot of ways, it's worse.
410
00:19:21,791 --> 00:19:24,333
Why are you telling me this?
411
00:19:24,334 --> 00:19:27,366
Well, because I didn't before
and maybe I should have.
412
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:28,597
We've been spending
all this time
413
00:19:28,598 --> 00:19:30,569
talking about the wedding,
but we didn't talk about
414
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,441
what happens when you go
from being a single girl
415
00:19:32,442 --> 00:19:34,673
to a married woman.
416
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:37,246
It's a big change,
417
00:19:37,247 --> 00:19:39,678
and sometimes it really
is hard as hell.
418
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:40,850
(SIGHS)
419
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,412
So Jim's right.
420
00:19:43,413 --> 00:19:44,884
Oh, no, he's out of
his mind. No.
421
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:48,487
But what guys do that's good
422
00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:50,359
is they give each other an out.
423
00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:52,691
I mean, I've been working
so hard on your wedding
424
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:55,824
because I really want it
to be a great day for you,
425
00:19:55,825 --> 00:19:58,367
but if for any reason
you need an out,
426
00:19:58,368 --> 00:20:00,499
I am behind you
all the way. I am.
427
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,931
I know. No,
I don't need an out.
428
00:20:02,932 --> 00:20:04,273
It's just...
429
00:20:04,274 --> 00:20:05,335
What?
430
00:20:06,976 --> 00:20:09,608
I'm finally Dana.
431
00:20:09,609 --> 00:20:12,811
You know, and it took me
a long time to get here.
432
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,743
And I don't want to just...
433
00:20:14,744 --> 00:20:18,917
Just turn into somebody's
wife or somebody's mother.
434
00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:21,450
I don't want to lose me.
435
00:20:21,451 --> 00:20:23,221
Oh, honey.
436
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,994
Just 'cause you're married,
you don't lose the "me."
437
00:20:25,995 --> 00:20:28,857
It's just that the "me"
becomes a part of "us."
438
00:20:28,858 --> 00:20:29,999
(BURP)
439
00:20:34,464 --> 00:20:37,737
And sometimes "us" Is really
gonna get on your nerves.
440
00:20:39,709 --> 00:20:43,272
So why does anybody do this?
441
00:20:43,273 --> 00:20:47,245
Oh, because, honey, if
you find the right guy
442
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:50,779
and have a good,
loving relationship,
443
00:20:50,780 --> 00:20:55,285
then you get a chance to be more
you than you ever dreamed possible.
444
00:20:56,786 --> 00:20:58,627
Wow.
445
00:20:58,628 --> 00:21:02,030
That's good. I'm gonna
use that in my vows.
446
00:21:02,031 --> 00:21:04,263
Great. Gotta come up
with another toast.
447
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:06,765
(SIGHS)
448
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:07,896
Come on, let's get out of here.
449
00:21:07,897 --> 00:21:09,768
Yeah. I better go
wake Jim.
450
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:10,770
(FARTS)
451
00:21:13,343 --> 00:21:14,773
Do you still have
that train ticket?
452
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:15,875
Yeah.
453
00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:19,007
Let Amtrak deal with him.
454
00:21:19,008 --> 00:21:20,279
(DANA LAUGHS)
455
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,011
I love it!
28394
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