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1
00:00:01,772 --> 00:00:03,603
Well, I think that was the first family
gathering where I didn't see great Uncle Ray
2
00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:05,505
with a drink in his hand.
3
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:06,677
Well, it was a closed casket.
4
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,640
I can't believe
that Uncle Ray is dead.
5
00:00:10,641 --> 00:00:12,142
He was so full of life.
6
00:00:12,143 --> 00:00:13,413
Too full of life, Mom.
7
00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:17,147
A 93-year-old should not be
playing with a nail gun.
8
00:00:17,148 --> 00:00:20,150
Especially with a
drink in his other hand.
9
00:00:20,151 --> 00:00:23,293
Hey, Maggie, I'm so sorry
your Uncle Ray passed away.
10
00:00:23,294 --> 00:00:24,654
I mean, that's the only
reason we got to see you, huh?
11
00:00:24,655 --> 00:00:26,156
Well, on the positive side,
12
00:00:26,157 --> 00:00:28,458
I got a great deal
on the bereavement fare.
13
00:00:28,459 --> 00:00:30,460
Oh, good for you.
14
00:00:30,461 --> 00:00:33,163
Hey, if we're lucky, maybe
someone will kick around Christmas,
15
00:00:33,164 --> 00:00:34,684
and you can come back
and see the kids.
16
00:00:36,807 --> 00:00:39,439
I can't believe you!
17
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:43,114
There is nothing wrong with
taking home a funeral arrangement.
18
00:00:44,575 --> 00:00:47,447
Flowers are
for the living, Dana.
19
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:49,819
Well, what about
the deli platter?
20
00:00:49,820 --> 00:00:53,323
Salami's also
for the living, Dana.
21
00:00:53,324 --> 00:00:56,326
You know, I got to tell you,
this funeral business is a racket.
22
00:00:56,327 --> 00:00:58,588
I mean, this one cost $10,000.
23
00:00:58,589 --> 00:01:02,132
Cheryl, listen, when I die,
I don't want you to be afraid
24
00:01:02,133 --> 00:01:03,563
to go around and
get a good price.
25
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,265
Don't be afraid to haggle.
And remember...
26
00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:06,696
I know, I know.
27
00:01:06,697 --> 00:01:10,300
Cell phone in the
coffin just in case. Yes.
28
00:01:10,301 --> 00:01:13,543
Well, Jim, thank heavens
when your time comes,
29
00:01:13,544 --> 00:01:15,575
the arrangements will
already be taken care of.
30
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,207
What are you talking
about, Maggie?
31
00:01:17,208 --> 00:01:19,609
We've had a family plot
for years.
32
00:01:19,610 --> 00:01:22,352
See, you are gonna be
right next to Cheryl.
33
00:01:22,353 --> 00:01:25,386
Dana will be next
to her husband, God willing,
34
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,219
and Andy will be next to...
35
00:01:29,220 --> 00:01:30,821
His special friend.
36
00:01:33,364 --> 00:01:34,764
Mom, I'm not gay.
37
00:01:34,765 --> 00:01:36,766
How many times do I
have to tell you that?
38
00:01:36,767 --> 00:01:39,370
Just once on your
wedding day. To a woman!
39
00:01:42,473 --> 00:01:45,475
Cheryl, isn't it enough
that I have to spend
40
00:01:45,476 --> 00:01:47,337
every day eating breakfast,
lunch, and dinner
41
00:01:47,338 --> 00:01:48,578
with your family?
42
00:01:48,579 --> 00:01:50,109
Now I got to spend
eternity with them?
43
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,712
You do know
we're still in the room?
44
00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:55,645
You're always in the room.
That's my point.
45
00:01:55,646 --> 00:01:59,319
Oh, I don't want to talk about
death anymore. It's too depressing.
46
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:02,292
Can we talk about how
Mom thinks Andy's gay?
47
00:02:02,293 --> 00:02:06,397
You hide one Broadway cast album
under your bed, they never let it go.
48
00:02:08,699 --> 00:02:10,300
Jim, I just don't get
what the big deal is.
49
00:02:10,301 --> 00:02:11,661
I thought you liked my mom.
50
00:02:11,662 --> 00:02:13,303
I love your mother.
She's the greatest.
51
00:02:13,304 --> 00:02:16,906
But this is not about her.
This is about our family.
52
00:02:16,907 --> 00:02:20,370
This is about, why shouldn't
we have a family plot?
53
00:02:20,371 --> 00:02:22,812
Look, I don't want to be a
branch on someone else's tree.
54
00:02:22,813 --> 00:02:25,375
I want to be the trunk.
55
00:02:25,376 --> 00:02:27,518
Jim, have you seen yourself?
You're almost all trunk.
56
00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:31,781
Honey, it's the family plot.
57
00:02:31,782 --> 00:02:35,885
I just always assumed we'd
all be buried there together.
58
00:02:35,886 --> 00:02:38,658
Honey, it's really important to
my mom. Important to your mom?
59
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:42,332
Honey, what about me what's
important to me, your husband?
60
00:02:42,333 --> 00:02:43,893
You know, you got to
make a decision.
61
00:02:43,894 --> 00:02:45,735
Are you a wife
and a mother first,
62
00:02:45,736 --> 00:02:48,168
or are you some lady's daughter?
63
00:02:49,940 --> 00:02:51,871
Why can't I be both?
64
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:54,274
Cheryl, because you can't
be with everybody.
65
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:59,449
This isn't Costa Rica where we
live in a big hut and eat bananas.
66
00:02:59,450 --> 00:03:04,414
That is offensive to my
family. And Costa Rica.
67
00:03:04,415 --> 00:03:06,756
I'm just trying to tell you
that I would choose you first
68
00:03:06,757 --> 00:03:08,288
over my family.
69
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:09,759
Jim, we've met your family.
70
00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:11,361
That's not a strong argument.
71
00:03:11,362 --> 00:03:12,962
You haven't met them all.
72
00:03:12,963 --> 00:03:15,395
The fun ones are in prison.
73
00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:18,598
But I would still choose
you over them any day.
74
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:21,631
Okay, okay, I see your
point. We'll get our own plot.
75
00:03:21,632 --> 00:03:23,473
I just have to talk to my mom.
76
00:03:23,474 --> 00:03:24,934
(LAUGHING)
77
00:03:24,935 --> 00:03:27,237
Yeah, you're gonna talk to Mom.
78
00:03:27,238 --> 00:03:28,738
Yeah, why?
79
00:03:28,739 --> 00:03:30,340
You're scared of her.
80
00:03:30,341 --> 00:03:31,881
It's okay. We all are.
81
00:03:31,882 --> 00:03:34,213
I'm thinking about going gay
82
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,286
just so I don't disappoint her.
83
00:03:36,287 --> 00:03:38,988
I can stand up to Mom
whenever I want.
84
00:03:38,989 --> 00:03:40,520
I just choose my battles.
85
00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:41,991
Well, choose this one.
86
00:03:41,992 --> 00:03:45,455
I will. I will. I'm gonna
go upstairs right now,
87
00:03:45,456 --> 00:03:46,826
and I'm gonna tell
that woman what's what.
88
00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,498
That a girl!
89
00:03:48,499 --> 00:03:50,139
Just as soon as I make
her favorite lunch.
90
00:03:58,669 --> 00:03:59,670
JIM: Oh, baby!
91
00:04:03,714 --> 00:04:06,876
Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom,
zoom, zoom, zoom! (LAUGHS)
92
00:04:06,877 --> 00:04:09,018
You are such a cute boy.
93
00:04:09,019 --> 00:04:11,382
He looks so much older.
It's like he's a different kid.
94
00:04:13,023 --> 00:04:14,724
But Grandma loves you.
95
00:04:14,725 --> 00:04:16,356
I love you, too, Grandma.
96
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:17,757
Oh, my sweet boy.
97
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,629
Because you buy me stuff.
98
00:04:19,630 --> 00:04:20,631
Oh.
99
00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:25,665
Boy, kids really
love their new toys.
100
00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:28,669
I guess once you get boobs,
you have to buy your own gifts.
101
00:04:33,043 --> 00:04:36,306
Grandma, I wish you were staying
here instead of at Uncle Andy's.
102
00:04:36,307 --> 00:04:38,778
I know. I'll stay
here the next time.
103
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,381
So, can we come over
and do a slumber party?
104
00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:43,453
We'll do it Friday night.
105
00:04:43,454 --> 00:04:46,786
I'm sorry, but
shouldn't that question
106
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:50,360
be directed to the
actual home owner?
107
00:04:50,361 --> 00:04:53,323
I mean, I pay the
bills, I call the shots.
108
00:04:53,324 --> 00:04:55,366
I lent you the down payment.
109
00:04:56,927 --> 00:04:59,499
Extra pillows
in the hall closet.
110
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,501
Okay, so Friday night it is.
111
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:04,534
And, Andy, you know you can
sleep over here with Jim and Kyle.
112
00:05:04,535 --> 00:05:06,407
See if I show you how
to turn on the heat.
113
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,007
What?
114
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:10,840
It's all set then.
It'll be all us girls,
115
00:05:10,841 --> 00:05:13,813
including Mommy and Aunt Dana.
116
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,045
BOTH: Cool! Yay!
117
00:05:16,046 --> 00:05:17,687
Are you free Friday night, Dana?
118
00:05:17,688 --> 00:05:19,549
Am I free?
119
00:05:19,550 --> 00:05:21,421
Well, thank you, Mom, for asking
120
00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:22,792
and not just assuming
that I have no life,
121
00:05:22,793 --> 00:05:24,794
like everyone else
in this house does.
122
00:05:24,795 --> 00:05:26,556
6:00?
123
00:05:26,557 --> 00:05:29,759
I'll come at 5:00 and
help you set up. Oh.
124
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,802
Mom, um, I need to talk
to you about something.
125
00:05:32,803 --> 00:05:35,765
Well, of course, honey. Come
on, come on, sit down. Scoot, scoot.
126
00:05:35,766 --> 00:05:36,866
Ow, ow.
127
00:05:36,867 --> 00:05:38,938
You hear that, Andy?
128
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:41,711
Cheryl needs to talk to Mom.
129
00:05:41,712 --> 00:05:43,613
I wonder what she
needs to say so badly.
130
00:05:43,614 --> 00:05:45,115
Hmm.
Let's watch.
131
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:48,548
Well...
132
00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:50,350
What I have to say is...
133
00:05:51,882 --> 00:05:54,524
How about that lunch, huh?
134
00:05:54,525 --> 00:05:58,858
Oh, honey, that was
just a wonderful meal.
135
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,692
With fresh ingredients,
it would have been perfect.
136
00:06:03,794 --> 00:06:07,738
So, Cheryl, what did you
want to talk to Mom about?
137
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:12,371
Well, Dana,
it's kind of private.
138
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,003
Oh, I get it.
We should go.
139
00:06:14,004 --> 00:06:16,646
Yeah. Yeah. Oh,
but before we do,
140
00:06:16,647 --> 00:06:18,948
we just want to take
this opportunity to say
141
00:06:18,949 --> 00:06:20,450
thank you, Mother.
142
00:06:20,451 --> 00:06:23,584
Thank you for making
us a part of the burial plot.
143
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:29,118
You have cared for us
from cradle to grave.
144
00:06:29,119 --> 00:06:30,421
And beyond.
145
00:06:31,161 --> 00:06:34,424
Get out!
Okay!
146
00:06:34,425 --> 00:06:35,625
I have a feeling in a minute
147
00:06:35,626 --> 00:06:38,028
the gay son's
not gonna look so bad.
148
00:06:40,571 --> 00:06:43,704
Mom, what I want
to tell you is, um,
149
00:06:44,875 --> 00:06:47,076
how happy we are
that you're here,
150
00:06:47,077 --> 00:06:49,138
'cause it's so important
to spend time together
151
00:06:49,139 --> 00:06:51,741
when you're, you know, living.
152
00:06:51,742 --> 00:06:54,514
Because you just never know
where you're gonna end up
153
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,516
when you're dead.
154
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:59,789
I do. We'll all end up together
in the family burial plot.
155
00:06:59,790 --> 00:07:02,121
Um, interesting
you bring that up.
156
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:03,953
Jim and I don't want
to be buried in your plot.
157
00:07:03,954 --> 00:07:07,126
You want some lemonade?
Of course you do. I'll go get it.
158
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,899
What did you just say?
159
00:07:09,860 --> 00:07:11,000
About the lemonade, or...
160
00:07:11,001 --> 00:07:14,033
No, about the plot,
the family burial plot.
161
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:17,667
Oh. You are not gonna
let that go, are you?
162
00:07:17,668 --> 00:07:20,940
Um, well, Mom, Jim and I
were thinking about
163
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:25,545
maybe, um, you know, sort
of maybe getting our own plot.
164
00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:27,076
No, no, no! No!
165
00:07:27,077 --> 00:07:28,878
We're not thinking about it.
166
00:07:28,879 --> 00:07:30,050
We are doing it!
167
00:07:30,821 --> 00:07:32,452
If that's okay.
168
00:07:34,224 --> 00:07:36,526
Well, I suppose if
that's what you want,
169
00:07:36,527 --> 00:07:37,957
I certainly can
respect your wishes.
170
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,689
Really?
Yes, yes.
171
00:07:39,690 --> 00:07:41,461
Oh, Mom!
Oh, my God!
172
00:07:43,033 --> 00:07:45,234
Oh, I thought you were gonna
lay some sort of guilt trip on me.
173
00:07:45,235 --> 00:07:47,537
Oh, no! For heaven's
sakes, not at all.
174
00:07:47,538 --> 00:07:49,869
I mean, just because I
love you and raised you
175
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:53,703
and suffered through 40 hours
of labor with you, you know.
176
00:07:53,704 --> 00:07:55,975
Besides, you know,
it really is for the best.
177
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,147
I mean, I have been
alone since your father died,
178
00:07:58,148 --> 00:08:00,209
and I don't know if
I could really adjust
179
00:08:00,210 --> 00:08:03,013
to all my loved ones being
around me now anyhow.
180
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:05,856
Aw, Mom...
181
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,988
No, no, no, no!
182
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:12,261
I am a wife and a mother first
and a daughter second,
183
00:08:12,262 --> 00:08:15,995
and Jim and I are getting
our own plot. End of story.
184
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,598
Okay, I guess you've
made your decision.
185
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:19,999
Thank you.
186
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,031
Like when I decided
to go to work
187
00:08:22,032 --> 00:08:23,674
so you could go
to private school.
188
00:08:26,236 --> 00:08:28,608
I'm gonna get you that lemonade.
189
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:30,740
Remember, I only care
for the pink kind.
190
00:08:30,741 --> 00:08:32,643
You will get whatever we have.
191
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,015
Which is pink.
192
00:08:38,188 --> 00:08:39,889
So, this is all yours, huh?
193
00:08:39,890 --> 00:08:40,891
Yep.
194
00:08:41,592 --> 00:08:43,192
Nice, huh?
195
00:08:43,193 --> 00:08:46,796
Yeah, if you don't think about the
decomposing bodies beneath our feet.
196
00:08:46,797 --> 00:08:50,600
Can we get out of
here? No. Sit down.
197
00:08:50,601 --> 00:08:53,002
Come on. I paid this
much for a burial plot,
198
00:08:53,003 --> 00:08:56,235
I want to use the property
as much as possible.
199
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:58,076
Ruby and Gracie, they're
gonna be married here.
200
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,270
So, from now on, we're spending
201
00:09:01,271 --> 00:09:02,972
our lunch hours in a graveyard?
202
00:09:02,973 --> 00:09:04,774
Just till the first snow.
203
00:09:04,775 --> 00:09:06,876
Oh, you.
204
00:09:06,877 --> 00:09:09,849
I will say, sitting here does
put things into perspective.
205
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:12,021
Yeah. Life's
precious, huh?
206
00:09:12,022 --> 00:09:13,552
Cheesecake?
207
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,054
In a minute.
208
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,856
I'm gonna let
the corn dog settle first.
209
00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:19,088
Hey, I got an idea.
210
00:09:19,089 --> 00:09:20,229
Let's get that corn dog
moving a little bit.
211
00:09:20,230 --> 00:09:23,263
Come on, go long.
Go on. Go long.
212
00:09:23,834 --> 00:09:25,564
Longer.
213
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,697
Longer. All right,
to the left.
214
00:09:27,698 --> 00:09:29,739
Left. To the right.
By the angel, by the angel.
215
00:09:29,740 --> 00:09:31,570
Throw the damn ball!
216
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,903
Come on, button hook,
button hook!
217
00:09:35,105 --> 00:09:37,306
ANDY: Nice throw, Shirley.
218
00:09:37,307 --> 00:09:39,710
Well, you were running
all over the place.
219
00:09:42,052 --> 00:09:43,683
Oh, my God.
220
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,785
Jim, get over here
right now. What?
221
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:46,856
Come here. Hurry.
222
00:09:46,857 --> 00:09:47,857
I'm hurrying.
223
00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:53,963
JIM: Wow.
Yeah.
224
00:09:53,964 --> 00:09:56,666
Bronko Nagurski.
225
00:09:56,667 --> 00:09:59,699
We're standing on the grave of
the greatest football player of all time.
226
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:00,971
Oh, my God.
227
00:10:02,633 --> 00:10:04,974
(HUMMING NFL FILMS THEME TUNE)
228
00:10:04,975 --> 00:10:06,375
Bronko Nagurski.
229
00:10:06,376 --> 00:10:09,338
Took the Bears to two
national championships,
230
00:10:09,339 --> 00:10:10,941
1932 and 1933.
231
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:15,716
Unstoppable on offense,
impassable on defense.
232
00:10:17,047 --> 00:10:21,320
Andy, we are standing
on holy ground.
233
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,623
Hey, look, the plot
next to it's empty.
234
00:10:27,257 --> 00:10:28,358
Andy?
235
00:10:29,860 --> 00:10:31,801
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
236
00:10:31,802 --> 00:10:34,734
That we steal the
tombstone? What?
237
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,706
It looks heavy. I think
we'll need the truck.
238
00:10:36,707 --> 00:10:38,407
No, no, no, no, Andy,
stop that. Now, stop that.
239
00:10:38,408 --> 00:10:40,770
We're not doing that!
Stop it! Stop it!
240
00:10:40,771 --> 00:10:43,312
No. That's not
what I'm talking about.
241
00:10:43,313 --> 00:10:45,875
Don't you see?
When I threw the ball to you,
242
00:10:45,876 --> 00:10:49,318
Bronko intercepted it and dropped it
right here in front of his gravestone.
243
00:10:49,319 --> 00:10:51,721
No, he didn't.
It was a girly throw.
244
00:10:51,722 --> 00:10:54,153
It's a sign, Andy.
It's a sign.
245
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,255
I have to be buried right here.
246
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:57,857
Jim, what are you talking about?
247
00:10:57,858 --> 00:11:00,229
I'm talking about trading
my space next to Cheryl
248
00:11:00,230 --> 00:11:02,061
for this one right here. I'm
gonna be buried right here!
249
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:03,233
Really?
250
00:11:03,794 --> 00:11:05,234
Yeah.
251
00:11:05,235 --> 00:11:07,037
Andy, this is
my field of dreams.
252
00:11:08,038 --> 00:11:09,298
Yes.
253
00:11:09,299 --> 00:11:13,042
This is God's reward
for being a devoted Bears fan
254
00:11:13,043 --> 00:11:14,443
all my life.
255
00:11:14,444 --> 00:11:17,106
Jim, I don't think Cheryl's
gonna be okay with this.
256
00:11:17,107 --> 00:11:20,049
Ahh. She won't know
about it till I'm dead.
257
00:11:20,050 --> 00:11:23,052
We all know I'm going
way before her.
258
00:11:23,053 --> 00:11:25,054
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
So, you're just gonna die
259
00:11:25,055 --> 00:11:26,956
and leave me alone
with all these women?
260
00:11:26,957 --> 00:11:29,789
I said I'm gonna go before
Cheryl, not before you.
261
00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:33,092
Whew. Thanks,
buddy. That means a lot.
262
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:35,394
That gets me right
there in the old ticker.
263
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:37,155
Of course, that might be
the eight corn dogs.
264
00:11:38,729 --> 00:11:39,929
Run it off.
Yeah?
265
00:11:39,930 --> 00:11:42,231
Yeah, go. Go long.
266
00:11:42,232 --> 00:11:44,934
That's it. A little longer.
Too far, too far.
267
00:11:44,935 --> 00:11:47,477
By the stone there. All
right. To the right, to the right.
268
00:11:53,183 --> 00:11:54,343
CHERYL: Just think
269
00:11:54,344 --> 00:11:56,345
in the years to come,
this tree will provide
270
00:11:56,346 --> 00:11:59,218
shade when my grandchildren
come to pay their respects.
271
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,490
Hey, wouldn't it be dramatic
if you died in the autumn
272
00:12:01,491 --> 00:12:03,853
when the leaves were
at their peak colors?
273
00:12:03,854 --> 00:12:05,495
That would be so cool.
274
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,829
So, which are your plots?
275
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:11,460
Well, I'm here, and Jim's here.
276
00:12:11,461 --> 00:12:14,363
Oh, 'cause that's how you
sleep in bed. I get it. Very cute.
277
00:12:14,364 --> 00:12:16,335
No, no, in bed he's on my right
278
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,237
'cause it's farthest
from the window
279
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,358
where the tree moves and
looks like a man with an axe.
280
00:12:20,811 --> 00:12:23,844
Hmm. So, that's
Jim's plot? Yeah.
281
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,016
Oh!
282
00:12:27,017 --> 00:12:30,419
What? Cheryl, it's only
disrespectful if he's already dead.
283
00:12:30,420 --> 00:12:32,782
Dana! Come on, try it. It's fun.
284
00:12:32,783 --> 00:12:33,824
No.
285
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,326
Oh, for God's sake.
What?
286
00:12:37,327 --> 00:12:40,059
Who'd eat a cheesecake
in a cemetery?
287
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:43,532
Oh, and there's teeth marks
in the wax paper.
288
00:12:43,533 --> 00:12:44,935
Ew.
Pigs.
289
00:12:45,996 --> 00:12:49,138
Hey, what are you doing?
290
00:12:49,139 --> 00:12:52,141
Got a funeral here tomorrow.
Got to start digging.
291
00:12:52,142 --> 00:12:55,404
Oh, no. No, that's where my
husband's gonna be buried.
292
00:12:55,405 --> 00:12:59,548
Oh. I'm very sorry
for your loss.
293
00:12:59,549 --> 00:13:02,551
So, uh, how long do you plan
to wait before you start dating?
294
00:13:02,552 --> 00:13:06,385
He's not dead.
There's been a mistake.
295
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:09,318
Are you sure? When's
the last time you saw him?
296
00:13:09,319 --> 00:13:11,220
He's not dead!
297
00:13:11,221 --> 00:13:13,362
Well, it says here this plot
was sold yesterday
298
00:13:13,363 --> 00:13:15,364
when its owner traded it
for a different location.
299
00:13:15,365 --> 00:13:16,565
Traded it?
300
00:13:16,566 --> 00:13:18,167
Strange, huh?
301
00:13:18,168 --> 00:13:19,999
Not in my world.
302
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,071
How about you?
Hmm?
303
00:13:22,072 --> 00:13:24,073
Are you single?
304
00:13:24,074 --> 00:13:26,035
You're a gravedigger.
305
00:13:26,036 --> 00:13:27,507
And you asked me second.
306
00:13:32,482 --> 00:13:34,113
This is really good, Ruby.
307
00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:36,185
Hey, just make sure on this
branch of the family tree
308
00:13:36,186 --> 00:13:39,119
that you leave a lot of room
under my name for my future kids.
309
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,822
Just do it!
310
00:13:46,496 --> 00:13:47,897
Hey!
Hey!
311
00:13:47,898 --> 00:13:49,328
What are you guys doing here?
312
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:50,599
I thought it was
girls night out.
313
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,462
That I'm hosting
but not invited to.
314
00:13:53,864 --> 00:13:55,504
It is.
Mom's taking a nap.
315
00:13:55,505 --> 00:13:56,906
We're going over
in a few minutes.
316
00:13:56,907 --> 00:13:58,607
Yeah, we're doing a family tree,
317
00:13:58,608 --> 00:14:00,009
'cause, you know,
since the funeral
318
00:14:00,010 --> 00:14:01,410
the girls wanted to know
who they're related to.
319
00:14:01,411 --> 00:14:02,571
Oh.
320
00:14:02,572 --> 00:14:06,015
Look, there's Grandma
Maggie and Grandpa Gordon.
321
00:14:06,016 --> 00:14:08,277
And next to Mommy there's
Aunt Dana and Uncle Andy.
322
00:14:08,278 --> 00:14:10,950
Oh, isn't it so cute?
323
00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:12,281
Honey, show Daddy where he is.
324
00:14:12,282 --> 00:14:15,354
Mommy put you way over here...
325
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,357
Next to Bronko Nagurski.
326
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:33,373
This can't be a coincidence.
327
00:14:35,645 --> 00:14:37,407
You know something.
328
00:14:40,450 --> 00:14:43,152
Okay, girls, let's get
ready for your sleepover.
329
00:14:43,153 --> 00:14:46,155
Daddy's bright idea's
about to hit the fan.
330
00:14:46,156 --> 00:14:48,157
If you guys fight,
I want you to do it
331
00:14:48,158 --> 00:14:49,518
before you come over
to my place.
332
00:14:49,519 --> 00:14:51,992
I don't want you wrecking
all my new Versace china.
333
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:56,326
Okay, I see where
the gay thing's coming from.
334
00:14:59,369 --> 00:15:02,331
Hi. Did you think I
wouldn't find out?
335
00:15:02,332 --> 00:15:04,403
Of course I didn't think
you would find out.
336
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,475
That's why I do these things.
337
00:15:06,476 --> 00:15:08,938
You wanted me to
stand up to my mother
338
00:15:08,939 --> 00:15:10,279
so we could have our own plot,
339
00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,541
and now you're not even
gonna be buried next to me?
340
00:15:12,542 --> 00:15:15,914
Cheryl, Cheryl, it was part
of God's divine plan.
341
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,047
You see, I threw the football,
342
00:15:18,048 --> 00:15:20,589
and it dropped right
in front of Bronko's grave.
343
00:15:20,590 --> 00:15:23,022
It's a sign, don't you see?
344
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:25,295
Oh, God, I'm sure it was
just a girly throw.
345
00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:27,656
Cheryl!
346
00:15:27,657 --> 00:15:31,660
What was all that stuff about
me being a wife and mother first?
347
00:15:31,661 --> 00:15:33,232
What about you being
a husband and a father?
348
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:34,964
I still am a husband
and a father.
349
00:15:34,965 --> 00:15:36,435
It just so happens
that I'm being buried
350
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,038
next to a really cool guy.
351
00:15:39,309 --> 00:15:41,541
Honey, you're gonna be
first and 10 away.
352
00:15:43,473 --> 00:15:44,713
I don't believe you.
353
00:15:44,714 --> 00:15:48,447
Cheryl, Bronko is my hero.
354
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,679
You know what?
Why don't we find out
355
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,082
where Betty Crocker's
buried, all right?
356
00:15:53,083 --> 00:15:56,186
And then we'll get the slot
next to her for you!
357
00:15:58,128 --> 00:15:59,628
Betty Crocker?
358
00:15:59,629 --> 00:16:02,061
Yeah! It's a great deal. She's
the one that made all the cakes
359
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:04,633
and sewed the first flag.
360
00:16:04,634 --> 00:16:06,435
It'll be really cool for you.
361
00:16:06,436 --> 00:16:08,297
We're ready for our
sleepover, Mommy!
362
00:16:08,298 --> 00:16:09,538
I will too have a lot of kids,
363
00:16:09,539 --> 00:16:11,341
and they're gonna be
a lot cuter than you!
364
00:16:14,144 --> 00:16:17,006
Well, Jim, I hope you're happy
365
00:16:17,007 --> 00:16:18,647
spending the afterlife
next to your precious
366
00:16:18,648 --> 00:16:20,749
Bruno Nagonki.
367
00:16:20,750 --> 00:16:23,613
Cheryl, Cheryl, please wait.
368
00:16:25,015 --> 00:16:26,656
It's Bronko Nagurski.
369
00:16:38,228 --> 00:16:39,369
(SIGHS)
370
00:16:50,740 --> 00:16:52,342
Hey, Mac.
371
00:16:54,344 --> 00:16:56,785
Bronko?
Yep.
372
00:16:56,786 --> 00:16:58,547
Oh, Bronko.
373
00:16:58,548 --> 00:17:01,050
I got a million
questions for you.
374
00:17:01,051 --> 00:17:03,052
Hey, is it really true
that you had to take on
375
00:17:03,053 --> 00:17:05,154
a real job in the off season?
376
00:17:05,155 --> 00:17:07,025
How many bones did you break?
377
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,027
Hey, what's
with the leather helmet?
378
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,729
Come on, your head
must have stunk
379
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,731
by the end of a game, huh?
380
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:15,364
Hey, Jim, relax.
381
00:17:15,365 --> 00:17:17,806
We got a lot of time to talk.
382
00:17:17,807 --> 00:17:20,309
Yeah. Yeah.
383
00:17:20,310 --> 00:17:21,671
You're right.
384
00:17:22,572 --> 00:17:23,642
Oh, man.
385
00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:25,374
I'm just so excited.
386
00:17:25,375 --> 00:17:27,476
I can't wait to tell Cheryl
387
00:17:27,477 --> 00:17:29,818
I got to talk
to Bronko Nagurski!
388
00:17:29,819 --> 00:17:32,682
Cheryl? What are you
talking about?
389
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:35,725
It's just you and me, buddy.
390
00:17:36,826 --> 00:17:39,159
Forever.
391
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:44,234
Yeah.
392
00:17:46,236 --> 00:17:48,138
Forever's a long time.
393
00:17:49,699 --> 00:17:50,770
Yep.
394
00:17:52,642 --> 00:17:54,644
That's why they call it forever.
395
00:17:58,308 --> 00:17:59,309
(SIGHS)
396
00:18:17,727 --> 00:18:19,728
Cheryl!
What?
397
00:18:19,729 --> 00:18:21,800
Wake up. Wake up.
Is Kyle okay?
398
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,572
Yeah, no, no, Kyle's fine.
399
00:18:23,573 --> 00:18:25,174
He's with Andy.
400
00:18:25,175 --> 00:18:26,475
(SIGHS)
401
00:18:26,476 --> 00:18:27,637
It's me.
402
00:18:28,638 --> 00:18:30,479
I can't sleep.
403
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:33,343
That's it. Tomorrow we're
cutting down that creepy tree.
404
00:18:36,146 --> 00:18:38,116
It's not the tree.
405
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,618
What is it?
406
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:44,493
I've been thinking that
maybe perhaps possibly
407
00:18:44,494 --> 00:18:46,856
I might have
misinterpreted that sign.
408
00:18:48,758 --> 00:18:52,401
You mean the one where God
told you to screw me over? Yeah.
409
00:18:52,402 --> 00:18:54,463
Yeah, that's the one.
410
00:18:54,464 --> 00:18:56,865
You know, I woke up
and you weren't next to me,
411
00:18:56,866 --> 00:19:00,269
and I started thinking that...
412
00:19:00,270 --> 00:19:03,813
I don't know, what if you
weren't next to me, like, forever?
413
00:19:06,516 --> 00:19:09,578
We're supposed to be together.
414
00:19:09,579 --> 00:19:11,721
I want to be traded
back to the home team.
415
00:19:13,383 --> 00:19:14,883
Oh, honey.
416
00:19:14,884 --> 00:19:17,526
There's just one problem.
What?
417
00:19:17,527 --> 00:19:19,928
You sold your plot, so
now I'm spending eternity
418
00:19:19,929 --> 00:19:22,332
next to
Mavis Sutcliffe Eldridge.
419
00:19:24,234 --> 00:19:25,935
Yeah, that is a problem.
420
00:19:27,937 --> 00:19:30,399
Well,
421
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,273
what if we just sell our plots
422
00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:36,905
and get your mom's family plot?
423
00:19:36,906 --> 00:19:38,747
But, honey, I made
such a big deal about it.
424
00:19:38,748 --> 00:19:40,349
What am I supposed to do?
425
00:19:40,350 --> 00:19:43,412
I don't know, just wait
for the right time,
426
00:19:43,413 --> 00:19:45,384
and then bring it up.
427
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:48,318
(GASPS)
Oh! What?
428
00:19:51,321 --> 00:19:53,622
Maggie.
You're awake.
429
00:19:53,623 --> 00:19:54,793
Ha.
430
00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:56,965
Cheryl wanted to talk to you.
431
00:19:56,966 --> 00:19:59,698
Oh. What's wrong,
sweetheart?
432
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:02,401
Well, Mom, we want to
be buried in the family plot
433
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:04,834
with you, and that's the way
it's gonna be, end of story.
434
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,308
All right, honey.
Good night.
435
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:11,940
Ha!
436
00:20:11,941 --> 00:20:14,584
I know she got exactly what she
wanted, but I did it on my terms.
437
00:20:16,746 --> 00:20:19,718
Come on, get in here and keep
me warm. It's freezing in this house.
438
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,790
I know. It's like the
heat's not even turned on.
439
00:20:21,791 --> 00:20:22,952
I know.
440
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:29,458
Well, this is sweet.
Mmm.
441
00:20:29,459 --> 00:20:32,331
You know what? As
long as I'm next to you,
442
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:34,333
I don't care who else is around.
443
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:35,964
Do you think in the afterlife
444
00:20:35,965 --> 00:20:37,607
you could be
a little more quiet?
445
00:20:53,523 --> 00:20:55,253
Cheryl. Cheryl!
446
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,255
We got to switch
places right away.
447
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,757
(STAMMERING) I got
to switch places with you.
448
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,529
There's a man with
an axe in the window.
449
00:21:00,530 --> 00:21:02,761
Shh!
No, not again, honey.
450
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,994
It's a tree.
Go to sleep.
451
00:21:08,738 --> 00:21:09,769
Oh.
452
00:21:15,004 --> 00:21:17,976
Like this, Uncle Andy?
453
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:19,878
Ah, that's great, buddy.
454
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:22,512
Have a party at my house
and not invite me. Ha!
455
00:21:24,013 --> 00:21:25,485
Sweet dreams, ladies. (CHUCKLES)
456
00:21:27,317 --> 00:21:28,858
I really need help.
31485
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