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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,203
Hey, Daddy?
Yes, my dove?
2
00:00:03,204 --> 00:00:06,006
Can we hold umbrellas
and jump off the garage?
3
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:10,780
No, you can't do that.
That's too dangerous.
4
00:00:10,781 --> 00:00:14,184
Then can we have popsicles?
5
00:00:14,185 --> 00:00:16,286
All right, all right, I see
what you're doing here.
6
00:00:16,287 --> 00:00:17,647
You're opening
with something big
7
00:00:17,648 --> 00:00:19,549
so you can get
something smaller.
8
00:00:19,550 --> 00:00:22,352
I invented that.
9
00:00:22,353 --> 00:00:24,395
So can we?
Absolutely. Well played.
10
00:00:27,098 --> 00:00:28,198
James.
11
00:00:28,199 --> 00:00:29,299
Andrew.
12
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:30,700
(CHUCKLING)
What, what?
13
00:00:30,701 --> 00:00:33,032
Have I got some good
news for you. What?
14
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,804
You and I are spending
a glorious weekend
15
00:00:34,805 --> 00:00:37,167
at Fritz Kruer's cabin
up in Wisconsin.
16
00:00:37,168 --> 00:00:39,269
Wow, that place
is supposed to be great.
17
00:00:39,270 --> 00:00:40,770
How did you get it?
18
00:00:40,771 --> 00:00:44,114
Oh, Fritz and I ended up in a
high-stakes dice game last night.
19
00:00:44,115 --> 00:00:46,476
You playing craps
with one of our clients?
20
00:00:46,477 --> 00:00:50,049
Craps? Please.
We're not roustabouts.
21
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,751
We played a gentleman's
game of skill.
22
00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:53,183
Dungeons & Dragons.
23
00:00:53,184 --> 00:00:54,524
Uh-huh.
24
00:00:54,525 --> 00:00:56,086
Well, you better be
careful out in the woods.
25
00:00:56,087 --> 00:00:58,528
You know, it's still
nerd season.
26
00:00:58,529 --> 00:01:00,330
It's okay. They give
us special vests.
27
00:01:00,331 --> 00:01:01,462
Uh-huh.
28
00:01:03,694 --> 00:01:05,395
All right, so when are we going?
29
00:01:05,396 --> 00:01:07,237
And don't say next
weekend. Next weekend.
30
00:01:07,238 --> 00:01:08,738
Oh, no.
What?
31
00:01:08,739 --> 00:01:10,470
Cheryl's never
going to go for that.
32
00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:13,174
Next weekend is when
Aunt Kunka is coming to visit.
33
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,775
Aunt Kunka?
34
00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:17,607
Is she the one with the unibrow
35
00:01:17,608 --> 00:01:19,280
who soaks her underwear
in the sink?
36
00:01:21,112 --> 00:01:23,483
Yeah, she doesn't
trust washing machines.
37
00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:25,486
Or toothpaste
from what I remember.
38
00:01:26,757 --> 00:01:28,118
So stick her with Cheryl.
39
00:01:28,119 --> 00:01:29,819
What's the point
of having a wife?
40
00:01:29,820 --> 00:01:32,722
I get to sleep next to
a beautiful woman...
41
00:01:32,723 --> 00:01:35,765
Instead of staying up all night
playing Dungeons & Dragons.
42
00:01:35,766 --> 00:01:38,568
Don't knock it. Try it
once, you'll get hooked.
43
00:01:38,569 --> 00:01:40,771
Yeah, try mine once,
you'll get hooked, too.
44
00:01:43,374 --> 00:01:44,505
(INAUDIBLE)
45
00:01:51,482 --> 00:01:54,244
JIM: Oh, baby!
46
00:01:54,245 --> 00:01:55,885
Okay, Cheryl, come
on. Come on, up.
47
00:01:55,886 --> 00:01:57,247
Out of my chair, out
of my chair. No, no!
48
00:01:57,248 --> 00:01:59,319
You've been watching
TV for an hour.
49
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,690
If you wanted more time, you
should have put it in the wedding vows.
50
00:02:00,691 --> 00:02:02,292
Let's go.
Jim, no, no, no.
51
00:02:02,293 --> 00:02:04,594
Dr. Ted's almost over.
Only one more minute.
52
00:02:04,595 --> 00:02:06,526
Yeah, he's about to give
us his word of the day.
53
00:02:06,527 --> 00:02:07,757
Yeah!
54
00:02:07,758 --> 00:02:09,159
DR TED: (ON TV)
Now, until tomorrow,
55
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,261
I want y'all to think
about this word...
56
00:02:11,262 --> 00:02:12,533
Gratitude.
57
00:02:13,804 --> 00:02:15,865
Gratitude.
Gratitude.
58
00:02:15,866 --> 00:02:17,537
You know what my word
of the day is?
59
00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:19,669
My. My TV, my chair, my remote.
60
00:02:19,670 --> 00:02:20,910
Hey, hey, hey.
61
00:02:20,911 --> 00:02:23,543
My... Small word,
so much power.
62
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:25,345
Mmm-hmm.
63
00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:27,417
MAN: (ON TV) Attention,
Chicagoland viewers.
64
00:02:27,418 --> 00:02:30,820
Dr. Ted will be in your area this
weekend for his two-day seminar,
65
00:02:30,821 --> 00:02:32,782
Making Good Marriages Great.
66
00:02:32,783 --> 00:02:34,153
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
67
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,585
Dana, write down that address!
68
00:02:35,586 --> 00:02:37,827
We should go down there and
have Dr. Ted sign our books.
69
00:02:37,828 --> 00:02:39,189
Oh, that's brilliant.
70
00:02:39,190 --> 00:02:40,630
It'll be just like
when we met Journey.
71
00:02:40,631 --> 00:02:42,292
Remember, you made out
with the security guard,
72
00:02:42,293 --> 00:02:43,794
and we were
backstage in no time.
73
00:02:44,895 --> 00:02:46,696
What?
74
00:02:46,697 --> 00:02:48,269
Oh, just the once, honey.
75
00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:53,673
Look, if you really
want to see Dr. Ted,
76
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,575
why don't you just sign
us up for his seminar?
77
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:56,777
(ALL LAUGHING)
78
00:02:58,549 --> 00:02:59,909
No, I'm serious.
79
00:02:59,910 --> 00:03:02,852
You want to spend the
weekend at a marriage seminar?
80
00:03:02,853 --> 00:03:06,417
Why... Why is it so odd that I
want to work on our marriage?
81
00:03:10,321 --> 00:03:12,462
What?
82
00:03:12,463 --> 00:03:15,225
Well, Jim, it's on a weekend,
83
00:03:15,226 --> 00:03:17,268
and... And you'd have
to get up early.
84
00:03:17,668 --> 00:03:19,729
And shower.
85
00:03:19,730 --> 00:03:21,532
And change who you are.
86
00:03:24,375 --> 00:03:26,606
Fine, if you want to talk
me out of it, that's just fine.
87
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:29,479
No, no, no, no, no! No, I
mean, if... If you're serious,
88
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,982
then I'm going to call and get us
tickets before you change your mind.
89
00:03:32,983 --> 00:03:35,785
Oh, Cheryl.
Get me a ticket, too.
90
00:03:35,786 --> 00:03:40,291
Oh, Dana, it's... It's a
marriage seminar, and, well...
91
00:03:45,356 --> 00:03:47,397
If you liked the Journey story,
92
00:03:47,398 --> 00:03:48,858
ask her about Whitesnake.
93
00:03:48,859 --> 00:03:50,401
And Def Leppard.
94
00:03:50,901 --> 00:03:52,263
And Debbie Gibson.
95
00:03:56,807 --> 00:03:58,508
Jim...
96
00:03:58,509 --> 00:04:00,541
You beautiful,
sensitive man. Oh...
97
00:04:01,812 --> 00:04:03,973
Oh, I didn't think
I knew you, but...
98
00:04:03,974 --> 00:04:06,516
Come on, you don't know
me. You don't know me at all.
99
00:04:06,517 --> 00:04:08,418
Come here. No, no,
no, get away from me.
100
00:04:08,419 --> 00:04:10,520
(CHUCKLING)
101
00:04:10,521 --> 00:04:14,023
That little performance just bought
me a fishing trip to Wisconsin.
102
00:04:14,024 --> 00:04:15,925
How?
Well...
103
00:04:15,926 --> 00:04:19,689
I just made a deposit in
what I call the marriage bank.
104
00:04:19,690 --> 00:04:22,932
I deposit something
Cheryl wants, a seminar,
105
00:04:22,933 --> 00:04:25,395
and I withdraw
something I want, a...
106
00:04:25,396 --> 00:04:27,737
Fishing trip. Nice.
Uh-huh.
107
00:04:27,738 --> 00:04:28,938
(LAUGHS)
Thank you.
108
00:04:28,939 --> 00:04:30,300
Wait, wait, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
109
00:04:30,301 --> 00:04:32,502
You're going to make
Cheryl babysit Aunt Kunka?
110
00:04:32,503 --> 00:04:35,645
Well, it is a big check,
but I just covered it.
111
00:04:35,646 --> 00:04:36,747
(CHUCKLING)
112
00:04:40,611 --> 00:04:43,052
Oh, honey, it was so
great of you to suggest this.
113
00:04:43,053 --> 00:04:44,984
I mean, we already have
such a good marriage,
114
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:47,557
but anything good
can always be better.
115
00:04:47,558 --> 00:04:50,960
Well, then why do you get so upset
when I put ketchup on your meatloaf?
116
00:04:50,961 --> 00:04:54,293
There's already ketchup in it!
117
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,467
Oh, yeah, you're here 'cause
your marriage is so great.
118
00:04:57,568 --> 00:04:59,068
Hey.
Hey.
119
00:04:59,069 --> 00:05:00,470
What are you guys doing here?
120
00:05:00,471 --> 00:05:02,532
Well, you know how
much I love Dr. Ted,
121
00:05:02,533 --> 00:05:06,436
but as the darling of every
80s hair band reminded me,
122
00:05:06,437 --> 00:05:09,579
I'm still single,
so I got me a husband.
123
00:05:09,580 --> 00:05:12,483
As if she could ever trap
this piece of man steak.
124
00:05:14,545 --> 00:05:18,317
MAN: Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome, Dr. Ted!
125
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,420
(WOMAN SHRIEKS)
126
00:05:21,792 --> 00:05:23,494
(EXCLAIMS)
127
00:05:24,655 --> 00:05:25,856
(CROWD CHEERING)
128
00:05:27,057 --> 00:05:28,998
Are you people ready to...
129
00:05:28,999 --> 00:05:31,361
ALL: Set things right?
130
00:05:31,362 --> 00:05:33,604
Yeah, give yourself
a big round of applause.
131
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,770
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
132
00:05:40,771 --> 00:05:44,574
You know, during my many
years of counseling couples,
133
00:05:44,575 --> 00:05:50,119
I have uncovered the hidden
danger in every marriage.
134
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,782
It's in my new book, Making
Good Marriages Great,
135
00:05:52,783 --> 00:05:54,885
available in the lobby,
$34.95.
136
00:05:56,627 --> 00:05:59,889
And I have given
this danger a name,
137
00:05:59,890 --> 00:06:02,092
and I call it...
Tova, please.
138
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,498
The Marriage Bank.
139
00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:11,140
Now, the Marriage Bank
is a place
140
00:06:11,141 --> 00:06:14,705
where couples deposit
and withdraw favors.
141
00:06:16,046 --> 00:06:18,077
Now, the thinking is,
142
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:23,152
"I will only do something for
you if you do something for me."
143
00:06:23,153 --> 00:06:25,114
Now, is that starting to sound
familiar to some of you people?
144
00:06:25,115 --> 00:06:26,416
Come on, raise
your hand if it does.
145
00:06:26,417 --> 00:06:28,458
Raise your...
Come on, folks!
146
00:06:28,459 --> 00:06:29,659
I thought we were here to...
147
00:06:29,660 --> 00:06:31,522
ALL: Set things right!
148
00:06:31,922 --> 00:06:33,463
Yeah.
149
00:06:33,464 --> 00:06:36,666
The key to a
successful marriage,
150
00:06:36,667 --> 00:06:38,769
is to avoid
tit-for-tat behavior.
151
00:06:40,731 --> 00:06:42,702
I am so glad we don't do that.
152
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:45,034
(LAUGHING) No. I'm just
glad that I don't even know
153
00:06:45,035 --> 00:06:46,837
what the hell he's talking
about. Hmm, I know.
154
00:06:53,484 --> 00:06:55,084
Oh, honey, thank you so much
155
00:06:55,085 --> 00:06:56,786
for going to that
seminar with me.
156
00:06:56,787 --> 00:06:58,518
Oh, you're welcome, baby.
157
00:06:58,519 --> 00:06:59,719
You don't have to thank me
158
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:02,051
or, you know, do
anything in return. Oh!
159
00:07:02,052 --> 00:07:04,955
'Cause I just want
to set things up.
160
00:07:07,197 --> 00:07:09,499
Yeah, honey,
it's "Set things right."
161
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,661
That, too. That, too.
162
00:07:11,662 --> 00:07:13,563
I love you.
163
00:07:13,564 --> 00:07:14,635
I love you more.
164
00:07:15,806 --> 00:07:17,637
(LAUGHING)
165
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:19,869
Crap!
166
00:07:19,870 --> 00:07:22,743
Now I can't trade that
seminar in for a fishing trip.
167
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,875
Hold on a second.
168
00:07:25,876 --> 00:07:28,017
Did you see how proud
Cheryl was of you?
169
00:07:28,018 --> 00:07:29,549
Yeah, so?
170
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:32,722
So, Jim,
the deposit's been made.
171
00:07:32,723 --> 00:07:35,926
You just have to be creative
about how you make that withdrawal.
172
00:07:37,588 --> 00:07:39,960
You have my attention.
Continue.
173
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:43,594
If I bring up
the fishing trip now...
174
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,839
Hmm.
175
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,001
If I bring up the fishing
trip now in front of her,
176
00:07:52,002 --> 00:07:54,574
she'll think it's
a brand-new idea,
177
00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:56,245
and she'll still think
that you wanted to go...
178
00:07:56,246 --> 00:07:58,708
Ow!
179
00:07:58,709 --> 00:08:01,010
And she'll still think you
wanted to go to the seminar
180
00:08:01,011 --> 00:08:02,583
just because you love her.
181
00:08:04,114 --> 00:08:05,715
You know, Andy,
182
00:08:05,716 --> 00:08:08,487
if you didn't have such a
long history of being an idiot,
183
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,259
I'd say you were a genius!
184
00:08:10,260 --> 00:08:11,762
Follow my lead.
I'll follow it.
185
00:08:16,727 --> 00:08:18,868
Here, honey.
I brought you a beer
186
00:08:18,869 --> 00:08:20,770
for no other reason
than I love you.
187
00:08:20,771 --> 00:08:22,702
Oh, you are so sweet.
Aw.
188
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,003
Shut up.
189
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,275
Shut up.
190
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:28,808
Go up to your place
this weekend?
191
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:32,682
You, Fritz Kruer...
Go up to your cabin,
192
00:08:32,683 --> 00:08:36,015
up on the Iron River
in Wisconsin next weekend?
193
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,548
Well, I'll tell Jim,
but there's no way
194
00:08:38,549 --> 00:08:40,620
he's going to pass up
this golden opportunity.
195
00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:41,792
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
196
00:08:53,303 --> 00:08:54,765
(RINGING CONTINUES)
197
00:08:57,307 --> 00:08:58,308
Hey, Andy.
198
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,313
What was that about?
199
00:09:04,314 --> 00:09:05,915
You're never going to guess.
200
00:09:05,916 --> 00:09:08,718
Fritz Kruer invited us
to use his fishing cabin
201
00:09:08,719 --> 00:09:11,050
in Wisconsin next weekend. Oh!
202
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,551
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
next weekend?
203
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:13,783
Yeah.
204
00:09:13,784 --> 00:09:15,324
Rats.
205
00:09:15,325 --> 00:09:17,757
That's the weekend my
Aunt Kunka is coming to visit.
206
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,188
Oh, right.
But, Jim, come on.
207
00:09:19,189 --> 00:09:21,190
No, no, Andy.
No, no, no, no, no.
208
00:09:21,191 --> 00:09:22,962
This is not fair
to Cheryl, and...
209
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:24,634
And our marriage
is more important
210
00:09:24,635 --> 00:09:26,766
than a once-in-a-lifetime
fishing opportunity
211
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:28,298
(LAUGHING)
up in Wisconsin.
212
00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:29,939
Jim!
213
00:09:29,940 --> 00:09:32,042
(TALKING GIBBERISH)
214
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,976
Case closed.
215
00:09:36,647 --> 00:09:37,847
(SIGHS)
216
00:09:37,848 --> 00:09:38,948
You know, honey...
217
00:09:38,949 --> 00:09:40,711
Yes, my young bride?
218
00:09:43,754 --> 00:09:45,685
You love to fish.
219
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:47,087
You should go.
220
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:53,693
I mean, you did this whole
marriage seminar for me, right?
221
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:56,265
Well, honey, Dr. Ted
said we should avoid
222
00:09:56,266 --> 00:09:58,698
any tit-for-tats in a marriage.
223
00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:01,831
I don't expect anything
in return for letting you go.
224
00:10:01,832 --> 00:10:05,836
I mean, did you expect anything
from me for going to this seminar?
225
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,080
Well, Cheryl, yes.
226
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:12,843
An even better marriage.
227
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,716
Oh, honey.
228
00:10:16,987 --> 00:10:19,649
Look at you two.
229
00:10:19,650 --> 00:10:21,652
Boy, did I marry
the wrong sister.
230
00:10:27,397 --> 00:10:29,258
So...
231
00:10:29,259 --> 00:10:33,263
When you sow seeds in
the garden of marriage,
232
00:10:34,404 --> 00:10:37,406
you harvest a salad of love.
233
00:10:37,407 --> 00:10:38,408
(SOBBING)
234
00:10:46,777 --> 00:10:48,848
Kiss! Kiss!
235
00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:50,881
ALL: (CHANTING)
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
236
00:10:56,386 --> 00:10:57,927
DR TED: Go on.
237
00:10:57,928 --> 00:10:59,760
Give it to her.
Give her one.
238
00:11:01,892 --> 00:11:03,392
Uh-uh, uh-uh.
239
00:11:03,393 --> 00:11:05,795
Maybe they're not there yet.
240
00:11:05,796 --> 00:11:07,296
Thank you, thank you.
241
00:11:07,297 --> 00:11:08,968
Guys, we're going
to take a quick 10,
242
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:13,242
and then we're going to do a
fun little exercise on intimacy.
243
00:11:13,243 --> 00:11:15,444
Ooh, intimacy.
244
00:11:15,445 --> 00:11:17,206
Whoa, I hope you're
wearing your good underwear.
245
00:11:17,207 --> 00:11:19,208
Oh.
246
00:11:19,209 --> 00:11:21,080
Whoo, all that talk about salad
247
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,883
put me in the mood for a burger.
248
00:11:24,014 --> 00:11:25,384
Jim, it's only
a 10-minute break.
249
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,256
Can you really find
a burger that fast?
250
00:11:27,257 --> 00:11:29,458
(SLURPING) Sounds like
a challenge to me.
251
00:11:29,459 --> 00:11:30,721
Oh.
252
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:35,324
That, uh, that t-shirt
looks great on you.
253
00:11:35,325 --> 00:11:37,467
Of course, it'd look
a lot better off you.
254
00:11:39,329 --> 00:11:40,399
(GRUNTS)
255
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:41,700
What are you doing?
256
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:42,932
We're married.
257
00:11:42,933 --> 00:11:45,334
It's okay. I told her
we're swingers.
258
00:11:45,335 --> 00:11:46,476
Oh!
259
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,810
No, we're not.
260
00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:52,211
We are a loving couple.
261
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,243
We have adorable twins
Max and Maddie,
262
00:11:54,244 --> 00:11:56,786
and we listen to books on tape
in our hybrid vehicle... Oh, okay.
263
00:11:56,787 --> 00:12:00,089
And he makes me laugh
and laugh... Stop. Stop it.
264
00:12:00,090 --> 00:12:02,922
Just stop it. I want
a divorce, all right?
265
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:04,493
These walls... They're
closing in on me!
266
00:12:04,494 --> 00:12:06,797
This birdie's got to fly!
267
00:12:07,998 --> 00:12:09,999
Fine, but I'm telling
our Mother,
268
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,962
that you were
the worst husband ever!
269
00:12:16,366 --> 00:12:18,508
We have different
fathers, so it's cool.
270
00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:22,041
Hey.
271
00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:23,843
Oh, can you believe that jerk?
272
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:25,244
Well, to be honest,
I'm kind of surprised
273
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,445
you got him to come at all.
274
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,247
Oh, we made a deal.
275
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:31,380
I said I'd housesit for him
while he's fishing in Wisconsin.
276
00:12:31,381 --> 00:12:33,452
They didn't find out about
that trip till last night.
277
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:34,854
Sure they did.
278
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:36,786
No, I was there
when they got the call.
279
00:12:36,787 --> 00:12:38,058
That's weird.
280
00:12:39,529 --> 00:12:40,891
No.
281
00:12:41,932 --> 00:12:43,793
No, it's not.
282
00:12:43,794 --> 00:12:45,034
I bet Jim knew about that
283
00:12:45,035 --> 00:12:46,866
when he offered to do
the seminar with me.
284
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,397
(SCOFFS) 'Cause he loves me.
285
00:12:48,398 --> 00:12:49,469
My ass!
286
00:12:51,401 --> 00:12:54,204
You got all that from that
one little thing I said?
287
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,406
I've been married
to Jim for a long time.
288
00:12:57,407 --> 00:13:00,409
The one thing that always
trips him up is time lines.
289
00:13:00,410 --> 00:13:02,252
Well, that and Velcro.
290
00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:07,256
So what are you going to do?
291
00:13:07,257 --> 00:13:11,390
I'm going to make a good
marriage petty and vindictive.
292
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,493
Excellent.
Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
293
00:13:22,472 --> 00:13:25,034
Okay, okay.
I got my burger.
294
00:13:25,035 --> 00:13:27,337
Well...
What was my time?
295
00:13:28,839 --> 00:13:30,439
I wasn't timing you.
296
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:33,512
What? Why did I buy
you that nice watch?
297
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,415
Oh, you mean my Folex?
298
00:13:37,087 --> 00:13:39,518
Well, I can't take it back.
The guy drove away.
299
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,921
Mmm-hmm.
300
00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:45,224
So you must be pretty
excited about that fishing trip.
301
00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:48,257
Oh, yes, yes, yes, I am,
although you know what?
302
00:13:48,258 --> 00:13:50,960
I'm going to miss you,
as I oft do.
303
00:13:50,961 --> 00:13:54,433
Oh, you sweet, sweet
man. (CHUCKLING)
304
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,006
Oh, my sweetie pie.
305
00:14:01,471 --> 00:14:03,272
Okay, people, break's over.
306
00:14:03,273 --> 00:14:05,474
Time to do-si-do, huh?
307
00:14:05,475 --> 00:14:07,076
So grab your partner,
308
00:14:07,077 --> 00:14:08,477
line up in front of some
piece of equipment.
309
00:14:08,478 --> 00:14:10,849
As you see, what
we got here set up,
310
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,481
is what I like to call...
311
00:14:12,482 --> 00:14:14,553
The Love Walk.
312
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:18,257
Now, the Love Walk
is a trust exercise,
313
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:20,429
because one of you is
going to be blindfolded,
314
00:14:20,430 --> 00:14:22,992
and you are going to
have to trust your partner
315
00:14:22,993 --> 00:14:24,533
to lead you through this course
316
00:14:24,534 --> 00:14:26,635
using only words.
317
00:14:26,636 --> 00:14:28,237
No touching.
318
00:14:28,238 --> 00:14:30,139
Okay, let's go.
319
00:14:30,140 --> 00:14:31,400
Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
honey. You know what?
320
00:14:31,401 --> 00:14:32,871
We're not going to
be very good at this.
321
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,174
I mean, touching
is my best thing.
322
00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:38,207
And listening is
way low on the list.
323
00:14:38,208 --> 00:14:39,878
But, you know, why don't
we start with you? You start.
324
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:43,282
No, I insist, honey.
You go first.
325
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:44,653
(SIGHING)
All right, all right.
326
00:14:44,654 --> 00:14:47,356
Oh, come on...
Oh, nice.
327
00:14:47,357 --> 00:14:49,018
Hey, you nervous?
328
00:14:49,019 --> 00:14:51,090
Well, yeah. I mean, I
can't see a darn thing.
329
00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:52,661
Well, honey, you don't
have to be nervous.
330
00:14:52,662 --> 00:14:54,363
You know you can trust me,
331
00:14:54,364 --> 00:14:57,526
just like I know
I can always trust you.
332
00:14:57,527 --> 00:14:59,999
Okay, now, take one more
step... Hey, hey, no touching.
333
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,330
Oh, okay.
334
00:15:01,331 --> 00:15:03,232
Okay, one more
step. One more. Right.
335
00:15:03,233 --> 00:15:04,903
One more. Okay,
now step up and over,
336
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,936
over, up, up, over.
337
00:15:06,937 --> 00:15:09,538
Great. You did it.
Yes! I did it! I did it! Yes!
338
00:15:09,539 --> 00:15:11,680
Good job, honey.
We can do it!
339
00:15:11,681 --> 00:15:13,943
Let me ask you
something. Keep walking.
340
00:15:13,944 --> 00:15:16,185
What prompted you to
take this seminar with me?
341
00:15:16,186 --> 00:15:18,487
Oh, lots of things, honey.
342
00:15:18,488 --> 00:15:20,919
Uh, unselfish love
being one of them.
343
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,451
Aw, that is so sweet.
344
00:15:22,452 --> 00:15:24,023
All right, go ahead,
honey. Step.
345
00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:25,424
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Step.
346
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,026
(GRUNTING)
Oh!
347
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:29,298
Oh, honey... Oh, my bad. My bad.
348
00:15:29,299 --> 00:15:31,030
(GRUNTING)
349
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:32,701
I'm sorry. I meant to
say ramp. I'm sorry.
350
00:15:32,702 --> 00:15:34,433
That hurt, Cheryl.
351
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:35,704
I know, baby, but
you're good, you're good.
352
00:15:35,705 --> 00:15:38,167
Now you got clear sailing, okay?
353
00:15:38,168 --> 00:15:40,709
I trust you. I know,
honey, and you should.
354
00:15:40,710 --> 00:15:42,211
You're good, see?
355
00:15:42,212 --> 00:15:43,973
You're doing so great, honey.
356
00:15:43,974 --> 00:15:45,514
And there's only one guy
who's actually faster than you,
357
00:15:45,515 --> 00:15:47,076
but in your defense,
he's much younger.
358
00:15:47,077 --> 00:15:48,118
(GRUNTING)
359
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,153
Cheryl!
360
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:56,726
I know you're only here
'cause of that fishing trip!
361
00:16:00,130 --> 00:16:01,730
I'd like a new partner,
please. No. No.
362
00:16:01,731 --> 00:16:04,963
Anybody want to trade?
You put your arm down.
363
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,595
All right, how did
you figure it out?
364
00:16:06,596 --> 00:16:08,198
How do I always figure it out?
365
00:16:09,339 --> 00:16:11,101
Damn. Time lines.
366
00:16:12,542 --> 00:16:14,143
I don't believe you.
367
00:16:14,144 --> 00:16:15,404
You didn't come
here out of love.
368
00:16:15,405 --> 00:16:17,306
You just wanted to stick me
with your creepy Aunt Kunka.
369
00:16:17,307 --> 00:16:19,748
Okay, fine, it's obvious
you're in one of your moods,
370
00:16:19,749 --> 00:16:22,451
so why don't we just cut
our losses and go home?
371
00:16:22,452 --> 00:16:24,353
No, no.
372
00:16:24,354 --> 00:16:26,655
You want to go fishing, you
are staying here till the end.
373
00:16:26,656 --> 00:16:29,259
This marriage bank check
hasn't cleared yet.
374
00:16:31,221 --> 00:16:33,592
Fine. But I don't
need your help.
375
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,724
I'm 1/16th Cherokee.
376
00:16:35,725 --> 00:16:39,399
I'll let the voices
of my ancestors guide me.
377
00:16:46,736 --> 00:16:47,777
See?
378
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,639
(GRUNTING)
379
00:16:53,183 --> 00:16:54,414
I'm fine!
380
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,454
Hold on.
Hold on, everybody.
381
00:17:05,455 --> 00:17:10,129
I want everybody to focus on
Jim and Cheryl right back here.
382
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:13,762
Everybody, I want you
to take a look at this man.
383
00:17:13,763 --> 00:17:14,804
Thank you!
384
00:17:18,408 --> 00:17:22,342
No matter how many times
his wife led him into a wall
385
00:17:23,113 --> 00:17:26,175
or just abandoned him,
386
00:17:26,176 --> 00:17:28,717
he dusted himself
off and tried to...
387
00:17:28,718 --> 00:17:30,649
ALL: Set things right.
388
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,581
With his marriage.
389
00:17:32,582 --> 00:17:35,284
Let's give Jim a big hand.
390
00:17:35,285 --> 00:17:37,826
No, no, no, no, no, no applause!
391
00:17:37,827 --> 00:17:40,829
Please, please, please. I
didn't come here for applause.
392
00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:43,562
I came here to work
on my marriage, and to...
393
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,294
ALL: Set things right!
394
00:17:45,295 --> 00:17:46,565
No, no, no, no, no applause!
395
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,836
He doesn't deserve it.
396
00:17:47,837 --> 00:17:51,300
Shame on you, Cheryl. Shame. Oh.
397
00:17:51,301 --> 00:17:55,245
And shame on you, Jim,
for being such a doormat.
398
00:17:56,306 --> 00:17:59,208
Oh, you got a real
problem, friend.
399
00:17:59,209 --> 00:18:02,681
You're going to have to
find out what it is you want.
400
00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:05,314
Jim is going to have to find out
401
00:18:05,315 --> 00:18:07,286
what Jim loves,
402
00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:09,859
that Jim doesn't
get to do anymore.
403
00:18:11,621 --> 00:18:13,223
(JIM SNIFFLING)
404
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,466
Jim likes to fish.
405
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:22,531
No. I am not taking care of your
Aunt Kunka while you go fishing.
406
00:18:22,532 --> 00:18:23,702
Ooh.
407
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,534
Looks like Cheryl
the accountant's
408
00:18:25,535 --> 00:18:28,138
trying to cook the books
in the marriage bank.
409
00:18:28,678 --> 00:18:29,838
What...
410
00:18:29,839 --> 00:18:31,810
She does that a lot.
411
00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:34,383
I bet she does.
412
00:18:34,384 --> 00:18:38,347
People, this man
is what I like to call,
413
00:18:38,348 --> 00:18:40,519
one-half of a good marriage.
414
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,592
Now, how many of
you agree with me?
415
00:18:43,593 --> 00:18:46,325
Oh, thank you. No,
no, it's not necessary.
416
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:47,556
It's not necessary.
417
00:18:47,557 --> 00:18:51,200
Please, please. Oh, all
right. Everybody needs a hero.
418
00:18:51,201 --> 00:18:52,561
(LAUGHING) Yes.
419
00:18:52,562 --> 00:18:55,364
How are you? Thank you.
Thank you very much.
420
00:18:55,365 --> 00:18:56,566
Thank you, thank you.
421
00:19:01,771 --> 00:19:05,375
(MOCK CRYING)
"I want to go fishing."
422
00:19:07,577 --> 00:19:08,777
I should have married Andy.
423
00:19:08,778 --> 00:19:10,719
Oh, hey. Hey!
424
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,381
Come on, Cheryl.
425
00:19:12,382 --> 00:19:14,253
You're tearing us apart here.
426
00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:16,325
How long are you
going to hold onto this?
427
00:19:16,326 --> 00:19:18,428
It happened half an hour ago.
428
00:19:19,289 --> 00:19:20,759
Come on, honey.
429
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,261
I don't know what
upsets me most...
430
00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:24,533
That you embarrassed
me in that seminar,
431
00:19:24,534 --> 00:19:26,835
or that you only went 'cause
you wanted something in return.
432
00:19:26,836 --> 00:19:29,438
Cheryl, it's the way
of the world. No.
433
00:19:29,439 --> 00:19:31,640
Everybody does it,
including you.
434
00:19:31,641 --> 00:19:33,272
Oh, I do not.
435
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:34,773
(SCOFFS) Really?
436
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:36,805
How come every time
you feed me lasagna,
437
00:19:36,806 --> 00:19:38,877
all of a sudden, we're
going antique shopping?
438
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:40,410
(GASPS)
439
00:19:42,252 --> 00:19:43,682
How dare you?
440
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:47,316
Please, it's a total bribe.
441
00:19:47,317 --> 00:19:49,288
You're throwing some
noodles and meat on my plate,
442
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:51,249
and then we're looking
at dead people's furniture.
443
00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:54,263
Well, that is
just a coincidence.
444
00:19:54,264 --> 00:19:55,464
Oh, really, really?
445
00:19:55,465 --> 00:19:56,965
Is it a coincidence
that every time
446
00:19:56,966 --> 00:19:58,897
you put on your
cheerleading outfit,
447
00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:01,430
I end up going to some
co-ed baby shower
448
00:20:01,431 --> 00:20:04,434
or a wedding or someplace
you're going to show me off at?
449
00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:07,576
Fine.
450
00:20:07,577 --> 00:20:09,978
Fine, maybe...
Maybe...
451
00:20:09,979 --> 00:20:13,643
Once in a while, I... I do
the marriage bank thing.
452
00:20:14,584 --> 00:20:15,914
You happy?
453
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,986
Well, I'm not happy, but...
454
00:20:17,987 --> 00:20:20,350
I'm a lot more smug
than I was a minute ago.
455
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,324
Aw, this is so sad.
456
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:27,225
I thought we were
better than this.
457
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,329
I certainly thought
I was better than this.
458
00:20:29,999 --> 00:20:32,432
Well... you're not.
459
00:20:34,404 --> 00:20:36,506
You know what?
We're not.
460
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,868
But who cares, Cheryl?
461
00:20:39,869 --> 00:20:41,810
This works.
462
00:20:41,811 --> 00:20:43,612
We've got a good marriage.
463
00:20:43,613 --> 00:20:45,344
I know.
464
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:47,416
It doesn't mean anything
coming from my husband.
465
00:20:47,417 --> 00:20:49,418
(LAUGHS)
466
00:20:49,419 --> 00:20:51,580
I really wanted to
hear it from Dr. Ted.
467
00:20:51,581 --> 00:20:54,954
Why? Dr. Ted doesn't
love you like I love you.
468
00:20:56,486 --> 00:20:58,828
In fact, he doesn't
really even like you.
469
00:21:02,031 --> 00:21:03,632
(LAUGHING) Come here.
Come over here.
470
00:21:03,633 --> 00:21:04,693
Oh.
471
00:21:04,694 --> 00:21:06,335
Come on.
I have a little...
472
00:21:06,336 --> 00:21:09,339
(SIGHS) Intimacy
exercise we could try.
473
00:21:09,839 --> 00:21:11,740
Oh, hey.
474
00:21:11,741 --> 00:21:13,572
You know, I'd love to,
475
00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:16,346
but first, you have
to mow the lawn.
476
00:21:17,807 --> 00:21:20,810
Cheryl, you can't
trade sex for lawn care.
477
00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:24,514
Why not? I traded
it for this house.
478
00:21:26,956 --> 00:21:28,357
That was a good trade.
479
00:21:28,358 --> 00:21:29,659
(BOTH LAUGHING)
480
00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:31,660
Hey, pick up the kids?
481
00:21:31,661 --> 00:21:32,891
Steak for dinner?
482
00:21:32,892 --> 00:21:34,323
Take out the garbage?
Carrot cake for dessert?
483
00:21:34,324 --> 00:21:35,524
Done.
Love you.
484
00:21:35,525 --> 00:21:36,566
Love you more.
32456
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