Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

[theme music]

? Waynehead Waynehead ?

? The Party's just begun ?

? Waynehead Waynehead ?

? That's the 411 for fun ?

? Hey hoo ?

? Hey hoo ?

? Hey hoo ?

? Waynehead Waynehead ?

? The party's just begun ?

? Waynehead Waynehead ?

? That's the 411 for fun ?

? Hey hoo ?

? Hey hoo ?

? Wah wah wah wah wah ?

? Waynehead Waynehead ?

? Yo yo yo ?

? Waynehead Waynehead ?

? The party's just begun ?

? Waynehead Waynehead ?

? That's the 411 for fun ?

? Hey hoo ?

? Hey hoo ?

? Waynehead ?

[intense music]

[thunder rumbling]

Yo, I'm Thor, man.

And you don't want me to smack you with my hammer.

Heel, now.

Never!

[laughing]

Huh?

[ding]

[groaning]

thud

That taught him a lesson.

[thunder rumbling]

This is not today's lesson.

Huh?

Damey. How many times have I told you not to read

Mighty Thor comics in class?

- But-- - But nothing.

I'll see you after class, young man.

[laughing]

Busted!

[laughs]

[bell rings]

[laughing]

bang

You like reading about Vikings. Do you, Damey?

Mm-hmm.

I'll make a deal with you.

You start paying attention in class

and I'll let you work off your detention

'and learn about Vikings at the same time.'

Really? How?

(Ms. Nattlehoff) 'You are going to be in a play about Vikings.'

[indistinct chatter]

Damey, you're gonna be the faithful sword bearer

to our marvelous lead, Mr. Bruce.

I hope he's a professional, Rodney.

You know, I only work with professionals.

Oh, oh, I'm sure young Damey has a talent au naturale.

Hey, you can act, can't you?

Uh, I guess so.

People, people!

If we're going to knock them dead in Central Park.

We have work to do.

Alright, ladies, hit it.

? Our prince our prodigy ?

? Our hero ?

? He's coming he's almost brought ?

? All the members our glory he's coming ?

? Fair maidens I'm here ?

? At last I've arrived ?

? I finally appeared ?

? Our glory ?

? Is mine ?

Whoa. This is an opera?

I'm out of here.

I'm sure your parents would love to hear

how comic books are more fun than school.

Where do I stand?

Right over there.

And your line is, "Your sword, my Lord".

? My sword my boy my sword ?

? Your sword my lord ?

[sword clinking]

[operatic singing]

? Emerging so elegantly ?

? He carries himself with refinement and style ?

? He just moves magnificently ?

So, Damey, what do you think?

I think those fat ladies don't know what they're singing about.

- Hey. - Kevin!

I'm gonna be a Viking in a play at Central Park.

You know what happened to the last kid in this neighborhood

who was into plays and stuff like that?

What kid?

Remember that guy, who was in my class, Travis.

You know the nasty stain behind the deli.

That's Travis.

[thinking] I'll just hide this stuff.

I tell everybody, it's my lunch.

Yeah, that's it. Some kind of foreign food.

Perfect!

[school bell rings]

[kids screaming]

(Roz) 'Yo, Waynehead.'

Dang.

We're going down to the river to tease the bums, you're comin'?

Uh..

Well, I-I like to, but, I got extended detention.

[growls]

Wait, wait, wait.

Extended detention?

That never happened before.

'Not even that time when McGriff, the Crime Dog'

'came to school and Blue took a bite out of him.'

Cool, Waynehead.

Yo, what's with your arm?

Huh? Oh, it's caught on a thorn.

There. See?

Later, Waynehead.

[sighs]

What?

Give me that bag, you dumb ugly mutt.

This is pathetic.

I'm getting outrun by a three-legged dog.

Hey, wait, where are we going?

Yo, yo, yo, I told you Waynehead's got detention.

So we're gonna go laugh in his sorry face.

We gonna have to wait on that laughing.

He's not in there.

Maybe they took him somewhere to work him over.

They're probably torturing Waynehead right now.

And selling him bit by bit for medical experiments.

Man, we gotta find him and rescue him.

And they're sewing him back together

just like in Frankenstein.

[indistinct chatter]

Come on, let's get out of here.

[instrumental music]

Dress rehearsal, Central Park.

'Tomorrow morning at ten o'clock.'

Duff up your breastplates, my beauties.

(Marvin) 'Dang, man, it's Roz's turn.'

Chill, my brother, she's just a girl.

'How bad can it be?'

(Roz) Count me in, I'm coming..

thud

That's bad!

- Hey, Waynehead! - Oh. Yo.

Where have you been, my brother?

We've been looking all over for you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we thought you were a goner.

It-it.. Did it hurt?

'Did they take out your kidney?'

You aren't scarred much.

We figured they tortured you

and cut you up for medical experiments.

What? Oh, yeah. Um..

They made sure not to leave any marks.

But, uh, it was horrible.

Don't worry, Waynehead.

I'll come up with a plan tonight.

Then I hope you get your revenge on 'em.

We'll do it first thing tomorrow morning.

No! Uh, I mean, we'll have to do it some other time.

I got to go to Central Park tomorrow.

How come?

Ah, there's this thing at the lake.

Thing? You mean like "The Thing?"

Like in the movie?

Yeah, like, like, like that.

Yo, yo, yo, you gonna see a monster?

Ah, um, no, it's more of a sea serpent.

Hey, hey, hey, stop it.

I know exactly what you talking about.

The Lockstep Monster of Central Park.

The one that only comes out once a century.

And that's tomorrow, right?

You're going to see a man-eating monster?

I'm coming with you.

Ah, maybe you better let me check it out alone first.

No, man, we'll all go.

And I'll bring a camera

and sell the pictures to the National exposure.

We'll make a fortune, my brother.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, great idea, great idea.

I'll make me a harpoon and nail his sorry butt.

And I'll get the bank.

This is gonna be the bomb, Waynehead, the bomb.

No, wait.

Ah!

Hey, hold it! No.

'Come back.'

Oh, dang, man, give me a break.

[instrumental music]

(Marvin) 'Hey, hey, hey, everybody.'

'Commence Operation Thing Watch.'

'Now we gotta make sure we all got our stuff.'

I got The Thing net.

Check.

I got The Thing camera, check.

I got the fishing pole, cash.

I mean check.

Chump, you were supposed to bring bait.

I did, but it tasted so good, I had to eat it.

[burps]

I, uh, I better go around to the other side

and see if The Thing's over there.

Yo, Waynehead, what's in the bag?

Uh, it's, it's bait.

Um, in, in case Toof forgot to bring any.

- Thanks, Waynehead. - Huh?

[water splashes]

Oh!

(Marvin) 'Toof, you got something.'

Bring him in.

- Huh? - 'Look, it's The Thing.'

Oh!

Oh! Yuck!

Yo, yo, yo, The Thing, The Thing.

It's coming, it's coming.

Eeee-yaaa!

Aah!

[laughing]

Dang, Roz, you like to scare us to death?

What are you doing, data girl?

Trying to flush the thing out.

But I couldn't find it.

Dang, I gotta get to rehearsal.

Hey, I've got an idea.

How about we surround The Thing?

'You know, take him by surprise.'

'Catch him off guard.'

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know exactly what to do?

Yo, Toof, you go by that big tree.

Roz, on that bridge.

Mo, behind that fat guy over there.

And I'll go behind that big rock.

Cool, let's move.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[panting]

Oh-ho, ah!

thud

Here I am, Mr. Holendopolois.

'Hope I'm not late.'

Tardiness seems to be the least of your problems.

Yeah. Well, I sort of had an accident on the way here.

Oh!

From the smell of you, I can only assume

that it was some sort of sewer-related mishap.

'Now take your place, my boy'

'and try to make it somewhere downwind.'

? My sword my boy my sword ?

? Your sword my Lord ?

Whoa!

thud

Aah!

Aah!

thud

[metal clanking]

[thudding]

Dang, I wonder if this is what they mean

when they talk about bringing the house down.

This waiting stuff is whack.

I say we go after The Thing, catch him with our bare hands.

Smack it around for a while, then make a hostage of it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was just about to think of that.

Let's get Waynehead and go do it.

Yo, Waynehead, we outta here, let's go.

Dang, there's nothing here but Waynehead's hat.

How come his head ain't in it?

Think about it, knucklehead.

He's gone because The Thing grabbed him and ate him.

Hey, hey, hey, what are all those people looking at?

(Roz) 'Maybe they're watching The Thing'

chewin' on Waynehead's old dead remains.

Let's get over there while there's

still some gory stuff to see.

[operatic singing]

Yo, check this, what's going on?

In five more minutes, this thing will be over with.

Then I can get out of here without any of my crew

knowing that I was wearing this stupid costume.

(Roz) 'Oh, man.'

'It ain't The Thing chewing on Waynehead.'

It's just some kind of whickety whack play.

[gasps] They're here, what am I gonna do?

What am I gonna do?

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

? Fair maidens I'm here ?

? At last I've arrived ?

Dang, they're still here.

We gotta do the right thing and find Waynehead's remains

and drag his old dead cells back and give it back to his mama.

Dang!

? My sword my boy ?

The sword. Where's the stupid sword?

Oh, man, what's it doing up there?

I said..

? My sword my boy ?

Oh man, keep your dang horns on.

Ah!

[bang]

Ah!

? My sword my boy my sword ?

- Ah! - Where the heck is my sword?

snap

Bravo, bravo.

It's perfect.

[clapping]

thud

Yo, Waynehead, where have you been, man?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we thought you was dead.

And we smelled the stink.

And we think it that The Thing had left your old

chewed up limbs and stuff under here.

But it was just a dead squirrel.

So where you been anyway?

Ouch!

I, um, uh..

I heard this awful noise.

I, uh..

...thought it was probably The Thing torturing somebody.

But it was just a lousy opera.

Come on, Waynehead.

We got us a Thing to hunt down and kill.

Oh, well, no, we don't.

Check this, I ran into this guy and he told me

that The Thing was here yesterday.

Yesterday?

Yeah.

Now it won't come back for another 100 years.

Dang, and I told my granny I'd be home by six.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

I didn't want to say anything to embarrass you, Waynehead.

But I was pretty sure from the start

that you were wrong about The Thing's schedule.

Just one thing I know about me.

[gasping]

- This Monster-- - 'Marvin, look out.'

[screams]

Got you.

This is my bridge, alright and I'm taking you hostage.

- So, it's done. - Aah!

What are you, nuts?

Absolutely not.

I'm a troll and here is the declaration of my power.

This is instructions for diarrhea medicine.

All the more reason to fear me.

(Marvin) 'Aah! He got his head. over my mouth.'

Yo, step off, bum.

[indistinct chatter]

(male #1) 'Yo, what are you waiting for, man?'

That crazy wino thinks he's a troll.

'Now all you've got to do to fix the situation is'

'slap on the threads and lay some Viking drive on the man.'

You know what I'm saying, bro?

I can't let my crew know I was in that sissy play.

I'm too young to end up nothing but a stay-behind-a-deli man.

Let me give you the 411 on that.

Oh, I'm not saying that.

You desert a friend just to save your own skin.

You're less than a stain, man.

You're slime.

Get my meaning, sucka?

Mm-hm.

(Marvin) 'Yo, help, somebody help.'

Yo, help, somebody help.

Yo, troll, chill or I'll have to smack you, man.

I'm one of Thor's boys.

Thor?

The God of thunder.

The guy in charge of kicking trolls butt.

Dang straight.

You never saw me, man.

You never saw me.

Dang, Waynehead, you in that whack play?

What's the matter with you, man?

Save your breath, Marvin.

I'm out, Blue is probably gonna come and turn me into a stain.

I know it, I get it. That's cool.

Yo, Waynehead, you bugging or what?

Yeah, where you going, man?

You're the hero, knucklehead.

Yeah, you saved Marvin.

I figured you'll think I was stupid for being in the play.

Yo-yo-yo, we think that sucks.

But you, you still cool with us.

You're not gonna throw me out?

You still wanna hang with me?

Yeah, we hang with Toof, don't we?

And look how uncle he is.

[chuckles] Yeah we hand with Toof and.. Huh?

(Waynehead) Dang, you guys are great.

Hey, you wanna come to opening night?

I can get you tickets.

(Mo Money) Uh, no thanks.

(Marvin) What are you, crazy?

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