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1
00:00:07,398 --> 00:00:09,053
Oh, Lord, not today.
2
00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:11,844
Hey, Calvin, greetings...
3
00:00:12,030 --> 00:00:13,344
from the future.
4
00:00:13,915 --> 00:00:16,134
Goodbye... from the now.
5
00:00:16,844 --> 00:00:18,546
Just checking out this sweet ride
6
00:00:18,571 --> 00:00:20,248
to make sure it's safe for Grover.
7
00:00:20,584 --> 00:00:22,594
Have you fallen on your ass yet?
8
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,344
Not yet.
9
00:00:24,369 --> 00:00:26,491
Oh, well, then, looks like
I have a few minutes.
10
00:00:27,678 --> 00:00:30,897
Now, I always test out Grover's
toys before I give them to him.
11
00:00:30,922 --> 00:00:32,530
I've swallowed every size Lego there is
12
00:00:32,555 --> 00:00:34,217
to make sure they're
not a choking hazard.
13
00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:36,319
Turns out, some of them are.
14
00:00:37,459 --> 00:00:39,731
Dave, I got to get to work,
so if you're gonna fall,
15
00:00:39,756 --> 00:00:41,373
you know, let's make it happen.
16
00:00:41,850 --> 00:00:43,059
Actually,
17
00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:45,030
I'm starting to get the
hang of this thing.
18
00:00:45,311 --> 00:00:47,269
It's a lot easier than it looks!
19
00:00:47,294 --> 00:00:49,397
Whoa, whoa! Dave, watch out!
20
00:00:49,422 --> 00:00:51,100
Oh!
21
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,561
Hey, man, are you all right?
22
00:00:56,643 --> 00:00:58,139
Yes, but...
23
00:00:58,365 --> 00:01:00,209
Did you see that idiot out there?
24
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:02,530
Yeah, that speeding car almost hit him.
25
00:01:04,302 --> 00:01:05,874
Are you sure you're okay?
26
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,684
Yeah, I'm-I'm fine, thanks.
27
00:01:07,754 --> 00:01:11,069
Well, good. Well, look, I'm
late for work, but, um,
28
00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:12,749
this was totally worth it.
29
00:01:18,429 --> 00:01:23,607
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
30
00:01:23,844 --> 00:01:25,123
Oh, hey, Dave.
31
00:01:25,148 --> 00:01:26,976
Hey, Calvin. I need your signature.
32
00:01:27,001 --> 00:01:28,522
I told you, I am not autographing
33
00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:30,631
that picture of us at Benihanas.
34
00:01:31,795 --> 00:01:33,319
I'm not here for that.
35
00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:35,511
But FYI, everyone else
at the table signed it.
36
00:01:36,453 --> 00:01:37,715
Look, I'm sorry, Dave.
37
00:01:37,740 --> 00:01:39,241
I don't want Calvin signing anything.
38
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:42,022
I'm still trying to get him
out of that damn record club.
39
00:01:42,430 --> 00:01:44,034
Three years and 20 more CDs,
40
00:01:44,059 --> 00:01:45,636
and I'm Scot-free.
41
00:01:47,704 --> 00:01:49,740
Well, you know, actually,
after yesterday,
42
00:01:49,765 --> 00:01:51,762
I decided to do something
about all the speeders.
43
00:01:51,787 --> 00:01:53,571
It turns out there's
a new navigation app
44
00:01:53,596 --> 00:01:55,891
that's sending cars down our
street to beat the traffic.
45
00:01:56,041 --> 00:01:57,850
You know, I use done
of those things once.
46
00:01:57,875 --> 00:01:59,405
The stupid thing told me
47
00:01:59,430 --> 00:02:01,756
to drive through someone’s backyard.
48
00:02:02,463 --> 00:02:05,248
But on the plus side, I
saved about three minutes.
49
00:02:05,748 --> 00:02:06,959
Well, you know,
50
00:02:06,984 --> 00:02:09,428
I did some research, and the
city will put in a speed bump
51
00:02:09,453 --> 00:02:11,630
if I get a signature from
everyone on the street.
52
00:02:11,655 --> 00:02:12,874
You're my first stop.
53
00:02:12,899 --> 00:02:15,217
And your last one.
54
00:02:16,718 --> 00:02:19,061
A white guy going
door-to-door for signatures
55
00:02:19,086 --> 00:02:20,305
in this neighborhood?
56
00:02:20,476 --> 00:02:22,225
Nice knowing you, Dave.
57
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,577
What Calvin is trying to say...
58
00:02:24,602 --> 00:02:27,717
People around here are a little
suspicious of getting scammed.
59
00:02:27,811 --> 00:02:30,030
You know? Dwayne Wilson
thought he was signing up
60
00:02:30,055 --> 00:02:32,594
for free HBO and ended
up in the Marines.
61
00:02:33,646 --> 00:02:35,692
Poor bastard just made colonel.
62
00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:40,186
Well, if door-to-door
63
00:02:40,211 --> 00:02:41,780
isn't gonna work, what should I do?
64
00:02:41,805 --> 00:02:43,397
Well, first, if you want people
65
00:02:43,422 --> 00:02:45,964
to sign anything around here,
66
00:02:45,989 --> 00:02:48,028
- you got to earn their trust.
- Mm.
67
00:02:48,053 --> 00:02:49,248
Well, how do I do that?
68
00:02:49,273 --> 00:02:51,561
Well, I mean, they're
all individuals, Dave.
69
00:02:51,723 --> 00:02:54,897
For example, Trey likes
to talk about sports
70
00:02:54,922 --> 00:02:58,381
and how paternity tests
can be wrong sometimes.
71
00:02:59,573 --> 00:03:02,915
And Old Miss Kim like stalking
about Bingo, her garden
72
00:03:02,940 --> 00:03:05,881
and how her milkshake brings
all the boys to the yard.
73
00:03:07,608 --> 00:03:09,216
And whatever you do,
74
00:03:09,241 --> 00:03:12,984
do not ask Little Hatchet
how she got her nickname.
75
00:03:13,303 --> 00:03:15,711
Or why she got a divorce, but they're
76
00:03:15,736 --> 00:03:18,147
- basically the same story.
- Basically the same story.
77
00:03:21,275 --> 00:03:23,756
Man, it sounds like I've bit
off more than I can chew.
78
00:03:23,781 --> 00:03:26,256
This is that Lego
fireman all over again.
79
00:03:27,063 --> 00:03:28,975
Dave, just invite everybody over,
80
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,828
give them some food, and they'll sign.
81
00:03:30,918 --> 00:03:33,051
It'll only work if you do one thing.
82
00:03:33,801 --> 00:03:36,214
Feed 'em catfish and cornbread.
83
00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:37,985
Why that?
84
00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:40,214
Because that's what I'm in the mood for.
85
00:03:49,685 --> 00:03:50,964
Hey, G-man,
86
00:03:50,989 --> 00:03:52,512
what are you doing?
87
00:03:52,537 --> 00:03:54,713
Just playing soccer in my head.
88
00:03:55,065 --> 00:03:56,964
Hey, I just scored!
89
00:03:58,515 --> 00:04:00,600
Well, I used to pretend
like that in my head.
90
00:04:00,625 --> 00:04:02,410
Except instead of soccer, it was girls.
91
00:04:03,719 --> 00:04:05,858
Yeah, but you never scored.
92
00:04:07,389 --> 00:04:09,264
So, why are you just pretending to play
93
00:04:09,289 --> 00:04:11,047
when you got this whole lawn right here?
94
00:04:11,538 --> 00:04:13,322
Since my dad almost got hit by a car,
95
00:04:13,347 --> 00:04:15,296
my mom won't let me
play near the street.
96
00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:16,678
She's being crazy.
97
00:04:16,763 --> 00:04:19,248
No, I just think she's being
cautious and protective.
98
00:04:19,335 --> 00:04:21,590
No, she's being crazy. Watch.
99
00:04:22,881 --> 00:04:24,021
- Whoa!
- Grover,
100
00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:26,464
I told you to stay on the porch!
101
00:04:28,243 --> 00:04:30,714
Wow, Gemma. You got here
before your voice did.
102
00:04:31,686 --> 00:04:32,949
Sorry.
103
00:04:32,974 --> 00:04:35,037
I'm just so worried about
Grover getting hurt.
104
00:04:35,062 --> 00:04:37,506
You know, with all the cars
zipping up and down the street.
105
00:04:37,531 --> 00:04:38,717
Yeah, we get it.
106
00:04:38,742 --> 00:04:40,875
Our mom was afraid of
a lot of stuff, too.
107
00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:43,120
We spent half our childhood
locked up like Grover here
108
00:04:43,145 --> 00:04:45,155
in porch jail.
109
00:04:45,369 --> 00:04:47,895
Yeah, she put us in there
for earthquakes, pit bulls,
110
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,327
that guy with the ice cream truck
111
00:04:49,352 --> 00:04:51,354
that never had any ice cream.
112
00:04:55,932 --> 00:04:58,674
Well, hey, we are going to
check out the Pasadena fair.
113
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:00,551
Why don't you let us
take Grover with us?
114
00:05:00,576 --> 00:05:02,631
Can I, Mom, please?
115
00:05:02,821 --> 00:05:04,631
I don't know.
116
00:05:04,656 --> 00:05:06,881
Do you promise not to
do anything dangerous?
117
00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:08,342
Oh, absolutely.
118
00:05:08,367 --> 00:05:09,892
I guarantee we will have
119
00:05:09,917 --> 00:05:13,098
a no-fun, danger-free,
super-boring time.
120
00:05:14,577 --> 00:05:17,839
Uh, I'm not sure I want to go anymore.
121
00:05:19,379 --> 00:05:22,089
Hey, zip it, kid, we're
trying to break you out.
122
00:05:27,373 --> 00:05:29,760
I haven't seen this much
of the block in one place
123
00:05:29,785 --> 00:05:32,381
since Colonel Wilson got home from Iraq.
124
00:05:33,778 --> 00:05:35,954
And everyone is loving my food.
125
00:05:36,006 --> 00:05:39,381
No one's even noticed that the
catfish is actually tofu.
126
00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:42,068
Uh-uh. This ain't right.
127
00:05:45,438 --> 00:05:47,527
Calvin, you were right.
This was the perfect way
128
00:05:47,552 --> 00:05:49,787
to get the whole street on
board for the speed bump.
129
00:05:49,812 --> 00:05:51,683
What can I say, Dave?
These are my people.
130
00:05:51,883 --> 00:05:53,437
I love them, and they love me.
131
00:05:53,462 --> 00:05:55,464
Out of the way, jackass.
132
00:05:57,382 --> 00:05:59,327
- Who's that?
- Oh, that's Walter.
133
00:05:59,352 --> 00:06:01,523
That's the jerk that lives
on the other side of me.
134
00:06:01,548 --> 00:06:04,015
Oh, man, I've never seen him
outside of the house before.
135
00:06:04,129 --> 00:06:05,959
Yeah, because he only
comes out at night,
136
00:06:05,984 --> 00:06:08,047
like bats and vampires.
137
00:06:08,389 --> 00:06:11,797
Well, now that everybody's here,
let's... let's get started.
138
00:06:11,822 --> 00:06:15,547
Okay, uh, if I could have
everyone's attention, please.
139
00:06:16,428 --> 00:06:20,132
An easel? Is he gonna talk about
a speed bump or paint one?
140
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,071
Dave loves giving presentations.
141
00:06:23,206 --> 00:06:24,686
One time I asked him why,
142
00:06:24,711 --> 00:06:26,922
and he answered with a
ten-minute presentation.
143
00:06:28,032 --> 00:06:30,671
Okay, now, I don't want to
take too much of your time,
144
00:06:30,696 --> 00:06:32,422
so I'll just get right to it.
145
00:06:35,184 --> 00:06:36,751
Pasadena.
146
00:06:38,814 --> 00:06:41,687
Jewel of the San Gabriel Valley.
147
00:06:41,824 --> 00:06:43,976
Established in 1874, but, you know,
148
00:06:44,001 --> 00:06:45,882
oddly, not incorporated until...
149
00:06:45,907 --> 00:06:48,422
How long is this gonna take?
150
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,659
I have plans with a gentleman tonight,
151
00:06:51,684 --> 00:06:54,922
and I'm hoping he's not
gonna be a gentleman.
152
00:06:55,347 --> 00:06:57,390
Yeah.
153
00:06:57,415 --> 00:07:00,952
And I got a cable guy coming
between now and Friday.
154
00:07:02,052 --> 00:07:04,464
Hey, hey, Dave, you-you may
want to speed this up.
155
00:07:04,570 --> 00:07:06,355
Yeah, got it. Okay, uh,
156
00:07:06,445 --> 00:07:08,534
skipping the Industrial Revolution,
157
00:07:08,559 --> 00:07:11,964
the sinking of the Titanic,
uh, World War I...
158
00:07:15,028 --> 00:07:16,464
The automobile.
159
00:07:17,685 --> 00:07:19,164
I'm out.
160
00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:20,964
It's not worth the free food.
161
00:07:21,179 --> 00:07:22,615
I can come over earlier.
162
00:07:22,991 --> 00:07:24,351
Got to go.
163
00:07:24,376 --> 00:07:27,422
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. All
right, hold up, everybody.
164
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,617
Come on now.
165
00:07:28,642 --> 00:07:31,296
I want to walk out on Dave
just as much as you do,
166
00:07:31,871 --> 00:07:34,343
but he actually has
something important to say.
167
00:07:34,368 --> 00:07:37,676
More important than this sweet
piece of meat right here?
168
00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,880
Okay, all right, guys.
169
00:07:43,275 --> 00:07:44,693
Look, we've all seen how fast
170
00:07:44,718 --> 00:07:46,633
these cars have been
going down our streets.
171
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,485
And I think it's time we
do something about it.
172
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:49,914
- That's true.
- You got a point.
173
00:07:49,939 --> 00:07:51,921
- That is true.
- Hey, come on out here, Dave.
174
00:07:51,946 --> 00:07:52,985
Come on now. Come on now.
175
00:07:53,010 --> 00:07:54,297
Thank you, Calvin, and, look,
176
00:07:54,322 --> 00:07:55,767
I'll-I'll cut right to the chase.
177
00:07:56,690 --> 00:07:59,048
- To quote Henry Ford...
- Oh, you know what?
178
00:07:59,073 --> 00:08:01,640
To quote Calvin Butler, if
you sign, you can leave.
179
00:08:07,799 --> 00:08:10,291
So, how's that deep-fried pickle?
180
00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:13,042
- It's pretty disgusting.
- Um,
181
00:08:13,554 --> 00:08:15,836
some things should not be
battered and put on a stick.
182
00:08:17,315 --> 00:08:19,265
Ooh, deep-fried butter.
183
00:08:22,637 --> 00:08:23,883
- Whoa!
- Oh.
184
00:08:23,908 --> 00:08:26,093
Can we go on that roller coaster?
185
00:08:26,118 --> 00:08:27,748
Uh, sorry, little man.
We promised your mom
186
00:08:27,773 --> 00:08:29,122
we wouldn't do anything dangerous.
187
00:08:29,147 --> 00:08:31,541
And we already pushed our
luck with the petting zoo.
188
00:08:31,566 --> 00:08:33,394
That pygmy goat tried to eat my jacket.
189
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,711
Hey, how about we go
on the Ferris wheel?
190
00:08:36,736 --> 00:08:40,043
Ferris wheel? That's
the lamest ride here.
191
00:08:40,068 --> 00:08:41,968
Well, we can go back
to the bounce house.
192
00:08:41,993 --> 00:08:44,351
And if you promise to be careful,
193
00:08:44,376 --> 00:08:46,709
this time we’ll let you jump.
194
00:08:47,435 --> 00:08:50,220
Fine, we'll go on the
stupid Ferris wheel.
195
00:08:50,245 --> 00:08:52,209
But you guys are boring.
196
00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:56,959
That kid's not as cute as he used to be.
197
00:08:58,817 --> 00:09:00,471
Thank you.
198
00:09:00,496 --> 00:09:02,039
Oh, thank you so much.
199
00:09:02,095 --> 00:09:03,709
- Yeah, good.
- Oh, here you go.
200
00:09:04,078 --> 00:09:05,959
Now, you sure this not for the Marines?
201
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:07,914
Hmm.
202
00:09:08,484 --> 00:09:10,516
You'd be a lot safer joining the Marines
203
00:09:10,541 --> 00:09:12,703
than going over to Miss Kim's tonight.
204
00:09:14,506 --> 00:09:16,856
I know. Pray for me.
205
00:09:20,404 --> 00:09:22,275
Hey, thanks for backing me up, Calvin.
206
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:23,968
Everyone's signing the petition.
207
00:09:23,993 --> 00:09:25,531
Well, nothing’s more important to me
208
00:09:25,556 --> 00:09:27,210
than the safety of our neighborhood.
209
00:09:27,235 --> 00:09:29,193
I'll do anything to protect these kids.
210
00:09:29,218 --> 00:09:30,872
Oh, hey, Walter. If you could just sign
211
00:09:30,897 --> 00:09:32,290
on the last spot right there.
212
00:09:32,315 --> 00:09:34,711
Oh, yeah, I'd... I-I'd be happy to
213
00:09:34,736 --> 00:09:38,781
if Calvin finally agrees to move
his fence off of my property.
214
00:09:39,482 --> 00:09:41,952
Well, Dave, we tried.
215
00:09:53,474 --> 00:09:55,476
Hey, Calvin, what was that all about?
216
00:09:55,742 --> 00:09:59,277
That fool thinks my fence is
six inches onto his property.
217
00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:02,901
- I s it?
- Whose side are you on, Dave?
218
00:10:04,589 --> 00:10:06,678
Calvin, Walter's the
last signature we need
219
00:10:06,703 --> 00:10:08,088
to get the speed bump.
220
00:10:08,113 --> 00:10:10,244
Look, that fence has been
there since I moved in,
221
00:10:10,269 --> 00:10:11,748
and I'm not moving it now.
222
00:10:11,773 --> 00:10:15,072
Plus, if I give in to him
once, it won't stop there.
223
00:10:15,272 --> 00:10:18,928
I'm telling you, Dave,
kindness is a slippery slope.
224
00:10:19,888 --> 00:10:22,277
Well, okay, Calvin, that's not true.
225
00:10:22,302 --> 00:10:25,242
Oh, yes, it is. I said
hello to you once,
226
00:10:25,267 --> 00:10:26,964
and look at us now.
227
00:10:28,165 --> 00:10:29,587
Okay, well, if you won't move,
228
00:10:29,612 --> 00:10:31,360
then how are we gonna
get the speed bump?
229
00:10:31,385 --> 00:10:34,562
Oh, that's easy. Gonna
wait for him to die.
230
00:10:35,281 --> 00:10:37,713
Hey, besides, I got you’ll
those other signatures.
231
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:39,393
Yeah, which mean absolutely nothing
232
00:10:39,418 --> 00:10:41,227
if we don't get Walter's.
233
00:10:41,431 --> 00:10:42,998
Well, I'm sorry, Dave.
234
00:10:43,038 --> 00:10:44,696
If it makes you feel any better,
235
00:10:44,721 --> 00:10:47,071
I'll sign the picture of us at Benihana.
236
00:10:48,144 --> 00:10:49,363
It's too late.
237
00:10:49,388 --> 00:10:50,696
I already forged it.
238
00:10:55,311 --> 00:10:56,617
Ha-ha!
239
00:10:56,808 --> 00:10:58,915
Wow! What a view!
240
00:10:58,940 --> 00:11:00,844
Yeah, check this out, little man.
241
00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:02,860
You can see everything from up here.
242
00:11:02,885 --> 00:11:05,148
Like how much fun they're
having over there
243
00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:06,860
on the roller coaster!
244
00:11:07,138 --> 00:11:08,574
Are you kidding?
245
00:11:08,599 --> 00:11:10,484
That doesn't lookalike much fun at all.
246
00:11:11,635 --> 00:11:13,555
We are totally coming
back here tomorrow.
247
00:11:13,832 --> 00:11:15,454
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
248
00:11:15,479 --> 00:11:16,821
- Whoa!
- Hey, now, hey!
249
00:11:16,846 --> 00:11:17,977
What just happened?
250
00:11:18,002 --> 00:11:19,469
Uh, I don't know.
251
00:11:19,494 --> 00:11:21,583
Hey, maybe they're just
letting more riders on.
252
00:11:21,608 --> 00:11:22,826
Uh, or...
253
00:11:22,851 --> 00:11:24,397
maybe the motor just caught on fire,
254
00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:26,673
and the operator tried to
put it out with his beer!
255
00:11:27,384 --> 00:11:28,805
Seriously?
256
00:11:28,830 --> 00:11:31,118
Hey, hey, look, it's okay, little man.
257
00:11:31,143 --> 00:11:33,157
All right? Everything is gonna be fine.
258
00:11:33,182 --> 00:11:34,587
It's not fine.
259
00:11:34,612 --> 00:11:35,844
It's awesome!
260
00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:38,139
- What? Oh!
- Finally, some real fun.
261
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:40,253
- Whoa!
- No!
262
00:11:43,944 --> 00:11:45,391
Calvin Butler.
263
00:11:45,848 --> 00:11:47,402
What is wrong with you?
264
00:11:47,427 --> 00:11:48,993
I would say nothing, but I'm sure
265
00:11:49,018 --> 00:11:50,653
you're about to tell me different.
266
00:11:52,215 --> 00:11:54,043
You're damn right I am.
267
00:11:54,068 --> 00:11:55,486
Dave just told me what happened.
268
00:11:55,511 --> 00:11:57,180
I cannot believe after
all of these years
269
00:11:57,205 --> 00:11:59,603
you're still fighting
over that stupid fence.
270
00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:02,603
Why does Walter care so
much about six inches?
271
00:12:02,628 --> 00:12:04,439
Well, why do you care so much?
272
00:12:04,464 --> 00:12:06,110
It's six inches.
273
00:12:07,818 --> 00:12:09,337
Is it about the money?
274
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:12,001
I mean, it can't be that
expensive to move a fence.
275
00:12:12,026 --> 00:12:13,962
No, it's not about that.
It's about the principle.
276
00:12:13,987 --> 00:12:15,446
And it's like my father always said:
277
00:12:15,471 --> 00:12:18,243
"A man's fence is a man's fence."
278
00:12:19,341 --> 00:12:21,071
When did your father say that?
279
00:12:21,096 --> 00:12:23,275
Whose side are you on, Tina?
280
00:12:24,216 --> 00:12:25,899
Is your pride more important
281
00:12:25,924 --> 00:12:28,594
than the safety of the
kids in this neighborhood?
282
00:12:28,619 --> 00:12:31,743
Nah, babe. Don't try to make
this whole speed bump thing
283
00:12:31,768 --> 00:12:33,354
about safety.
284
00:12:35,848 --> 00:12:36,979
Okay...
285
00:12:37,476 --> 00:12:38,954
when Malcolm and Marty were little,
286
00:12:38,979 --> 00:12:41,764
you did everything in your
power to keep them safe.
287
00:12:42,081 --> 00:12:44,257
You even used to make
Marty wear a helmet
288
00:12:44,282 --> 00:12:46,105
just to play hide-and-seek.
289
00:12:46,459 --> 00:12:48,650
I made him wear that thing all the time.
290
00:12:48,675 --> 00:12:50,689
The kid had no balance.
291
00:12:50,714 --> 00:12:52,321
Okay.
292
00:12:52,346 --> 00:12:54,827
When Malcolm said that he was old enough
293
00:12:54,852 --> 00:12:57,896
to take his bike to the park,
you followed him in your car
294
00:12:57,921 --> 00:12:59,792
just to make sure he got there safely.
295
00:12:59,817 --> 00:13:01,134
I had to.
296
00:13:01,159 --> 00:13:03,352
He was pulling Marty in a wagon.
297
00:13:03,592 --> 00:13:05,980
That boy fell out every two blocks.
298
00:13:09,253 --> 00:13:10,471
Come on, babe.
299
00:13:10,688 --> 00:13:11,950
You love Grover.
300
00:13:13,213 --> 00:13:15,980
Doesn't he deserve to be just
as safe as our boys were?
301
00:13:17,774 --> 00:13:19,229
Yeah, I guess.
302
00:13:20,596 --> 00:13:22,641
That's my big papa bear.
303
00:13:22,666 --> 00:13:25,480
Taking care of all the little cubs.
304
00:13:26,217 --> 00:13:28,045
Yeah, you know me, huh?
305
00:13:28,070 --> 00:13:30,230
Always looking out for
the neighborhood kids.
306
00:13:30,255 --> 00:13:31,517
Mmm.
307
00:13:31,542 --> 00:13:33,029
- Oh. You know what?
- What?
308
00:13:33,054 --> 00:13:34,665
That gives me an idea. What?
309
00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:37,587
I can underpay them to move the fence.
310
00:13:41,026 --> 00:13:43,481
Yeah!
311
00:13:44,893 --> 00:13:47,265
Whoa, whoa, whoa! You have got
to cut that out, little man.
312
00:13:47,290 --> 00:13:49,633
You have got to stop.
313
00:13:49,989 --> 00:13:53,271
This rocking is not helping that
deep-fried pizza stay down.
314
00:13:54,769 --> 00:13:57,126
What? When did you eat that?
315
00:13:57,151 --> 00:13:59,396
When you guys were in the bathroom.
316
00:14:00,369 --> 00:14:01,674
You two are no fun.
317
00:14:01,699 --> 00:14:03,897
You're just as bad as my mom.
318
00:14:04,079 --> 00:14:06,508
Hey, look, don't be
so hard on her, okay?
319
00:14:06,533 --> 00:14:08,361
She just wants to keep you safe.
320
00:14:08,386 --> 00:14:10,910
Why? I'm not a baby.
321
00:14:10,935 --> 00:14:12,821
Yeah, I know. The only reason
322
00:14:12,846 --> 00:14:14,930
your mom is so overprotective
323
00:14:15,029 --> 00:14:17,337
is because of how much
she cares about you.
324
00:14:17,362 --> 00:14:19,712
Yeah, I-if you see a kid
having too much fun,
325
00:14:19,737 --> 00:14:21,772
that means his mom doesn't love him.
326
00:14:23,845 --> 00:14:26,032
So, that kid in front
of the roller coaster
327
00:14:26,057 --> 00:14:28,022
with his hands up in the air...
328
00:14:28,170 --> 00:14:31,022
You mean the one eating that
corn dog with no shirt on?
329
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:34,022
Yeah. His mama don't
even know he's here.
330
00:14:35,407 --> 00:14:38,022
Wow. That's sad.
331
00:14:38,087 --> 00:14:39,344
Exactly.
332
00:14:39,413 --> 00:14:42,618
So every time your mom
tells you, stop running,
333
00:14:42,643 --> 00:14:44,860
tie your shoes, or be careful,
334
00:14:44,974 --> 00:14:48,048
what she's really saying
is she loves you.
335
00:14:48,882 --> 00:14:50,772
I guess I'm pretty lucky.
336
00:14:50,797 --> 00:14:52,469
You sure are.
337
00:14:52,555 --> 00:14:55,204
Which means she's gonna be
super mad when she finds out
338
00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:56,939
you got me stuck up here.
339
00:14:57,643 --> 00:14:59,954
Uh, no, she won't, no, she won't.
340
00:14:59,979 --> 00:15:02,087
Because we're fine.
Right, Marty?
341
00:15:02,112 --> 00:15:03,592
Yeah, yeah. We-We're-we're totally safe.
342
00:15:03,617 --> 00:15:04,879
This kind of thing happens all the time.
343
00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:08,923
- Oh, thank you, Jesus!
- Ah, we are gonna live!
344
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:13,407
Thanks so much for doing this, Calvin.
345
00:15:13,432 --> 00:15:15,040
Did Tina change your mind?
346
00:15:15,065 --> 00:15:17,563
No. I was always gonna do it.
347
00:15:17,588 --> 00:15:19,772
I just needed to know
how committed you were.
348
00:15:21,747 --> 00:15:23,407
Well, you're doing the right thing,
349
00:15:23,432 --> 00:15:25,434
and I, for one, appreciate it.
350
00:15:25,642 --> 00:15:27,290
Do you appreciate it enough
351
00:15:27,315 --> 00:15:29,522
to give me six inches on your property?
352
00:15:30,058 --> 00:15:31,625
Sorry, Calvin.
353
00:15:31,650 --> 00:15:33,251
It's like my dad used to say:
354
00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:35,772
"A man's fence is a man's fence."
355
00:15:38,999 --> 00:15:41,564
Damn. You're not Miss Kim.
356
00:15:43,049 --> 00:15:44,915
Look, Walter, I need to talk to you.
357
00:15:44,940 --> 00:15:46,768
Oh, wha-what are you here to steal now?
358
00:15:46,793 --> 00:15:48,404
My Wi-Fi password?
359
00:15:48,429 --> 00:15:49,978
I'll give you a hint.
360
00:15:50,003 --> 00:15:52,564
It's "Calvin" and four other letters.
361
00:15:54,577 --> 00:15:56,009
Look, man,
362
00:15:56,034 --> 00:15:59,124
I just came over here to say
if you sign Dave's petition,
363
00:15:59,149 --> 00:16:00,806
I'll move the damn fence.
364
00:16:00,831 --> 00:16:03,814
Great. I was waiting for you to die.
365
00:16:05,046 --> 00:16:06,986
Walter, I really appreciate it.
366
00:16:07,011 --> 00:16:11,189
Just sign right under where Trey
wrote "Not joining Marines."
367
00:16:12,140 --> 00:16:13,794
Okay.
368
00:16:13,819 --> 00:16:16,429
But actually, since it
took you this long,
369
00:16:16,454 --> 00:16:18,522
maybe I should charge
you a little interest.
370
00:16:18,547 --> 00:16:20,861
How about we move that
fence a full foot?
371
00:16:20,886 --> 00:16:22,401
What?
372
00:16:22,426 --> 00:16:24,392
I got a full foot for you.
373
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,272
You know... Oh, okay,
all right, all right.
374
00:16:26,297 --> 00:16:27,556
Calvin, calm down.
375
00:16:27,581 --> 00:16:29,017
We need that speed bump. Please.
376
00:16:30,081 --> 00:16:32,150
All right. But this ain't for you.
377
00:16:32,175 --> 00:16:34,064
This is for the kids.
378
00:16:34,130 --> 00:16:36,259
Well, in that case, let's
move it two feet...
379
00:16:36,285 --> 00:16:38,345
One for me and one for the kids.
380
00:16:39,553 --> 00:16:41,022
Oh, to hell with you!
381
00:16:41,165 --> 00:16:43,689
You know what, I can't believe
you’re trying to pull this crap,
382
00:16:43,714 --> 00:16:46,522
after all the stuff I let you
slide with over the years.
383
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,111
What have you let slide?
384
00:16:48,136 --> 00:16:49,541
Are you kidding me?
385
00:16:49,768 --> 00:16:52,861
Do you know how many
of your old roof tiles
386
00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:54,798
have flown over into my yard?
387
00:16:54,823 --> 00:16:57,196
And what about the
floodlights you put up?
388
00:16:57,221 --> 00:17:00,422
They're just shining bright
all night in my bedroom.
389
00:17:00,447 --> 00:17:02,267
Every time I get up to
go to the bathroom,
390
00:17:02,292 --> 00:17:04,273
it feels like a prison break.
391
00:17:06,329 --> 00:17:08,056
Not my problem.
392
00:17:08,081 --> 00:17:10,251
A-Actually, Walter, it is.
393
00:17:10,276 --> 00:17:12,323
According to the Pasadena Zoning Manual,
394
00:17:12,348 --> 00:17:15,612
those are both residential
C-1 violations.
395
00:17:15,637 --> 00:17:16,682
So?
396
00:17:16,707 --> 00:17:18,405
So, if the city inspector finds out,
397
00:17:18,430 --> 00:17:21,607
you're staring down the barrel
of some pretty hefty fines.
398
00:17:22,088 --> 00:17:23,219
He is?
399
00:17:23,536 --> 00:17:25,229
You are.
400
00:17:26,882 --> 00:17:30,016
Yeah, you know, and now that I’m
looking around, there's no way
401
00:17:30,041 --> 00:17:32,482
that this half-saddle door
threshold is up to code.
402
00:17:32,507 --> 00:17:35,866
And don't even get me started
on the enclosed breezeway,
403
00:17:35,891 --> 00:17:38,970
which is clearly within five
feet of a multi-person dwelling.
404
00:17:41,065 --> 00:17:43,897
Do not get him started on breezeways.
405
00:17:45,338 --> 00:17:48,084
Well, hold on, now, we don't
have to get into all of that.
406
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:49,994
You're right, we don't.
407
00:17:50,019 --> 00:17:52,056
Because you're gonna sign that petition,
408
00:17:52,081 --> 00:17:54,823
and we're gonna put up a speed
bump to protect these kids.
409
00:17:54,848 --> 00:17:56,633
Are we clear?
410
00:17:56,687 --> 00:17:58,772
Crystal, baby.
411
00:18:02,817 --> 00:18:04,819
Fine. You win.
412
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:09,009
But that catfish at your party sucked.
413
00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:12,689
Give me my pen.
414
00:18:14,732 --> 00:18:17,145
Damn, Dave, that was gangsta, man.
415
00:18:17,170 --> 00:18:19,408
Yeah, you want to hear
something even more gangsta?
416
00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:21,353
I just made all that stuff up.
417
00:18:21,593 --> 00:18:23,568
I don't even know what a breezeway is.
418
00:18:30,791 --> 00:18:32,366
This is so great.
419
00:18:32,391 --> 00:18:35,331
That speed bump is really gonna
slow people down around here.
420
00:18:35,356 --> 00:18:38,605
Yeah, and it's short enough that
I could just zip around it.
421
00:18:39,905 --> 00:18:42,354
Mom, does this mean I
can play outside again?
422
00:18:42,379 --> 00:18:44,468
Yes. But not near the street,
423
00:18:44,503 --> 00:18:47,898
not after dark, and never
without supervision.
424
00:18:48,145 --> 00:18:49,798
I love you, too.
425
00:18:51,376 --> 00:18:53,468
Can I go inside and play on my iPad?
426
00:18:53,493 --> 00:18:55,108
Okay.
427
00:18:56,630 --> 00:18:59,355
What was I thinking? He
could get carpal tunnel.
428
00:19:01,997 --> 00:19:03,650
Look at that speed bump.
429
00:19:03,857 --> 00:19:05,467
Isn't she beautiful?
430
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:08,499
Yeah. It reminds me of you.
431
00:19:08,524 --> 00:19:09,917
- Mm.
- Black,
432
00:19:09,942 --> 00:19:11,171
curvy...
433
00:19:11,196 --> 00:19:14,147
and makes me want to slow
down and take my time.
434
00:19:14,172 --> 00:19:15,647
Oh...
435
00:19:16,674 --> 00:19:19,647
Oh, now I'm gonna feel guilty
every time I run over it.
436
00:19:20,657 --> 00:19:24,413
But, seriously, you did a
good thing for the community.
437
00:19:24,438 --> 00:19:26,046
You should be proud of yourself.
438
00:19:26,071 --> 00:19:27,952
Well, I'm glad you feel that way.
439
00:19:27,977 --> 00:19:29,897
Because I've decided...
440
00:19:32,095 --> 00:19:33,897
I'm not stopping here.
441
00:19:39,123 --> 00:19:40,646
What do you think?
442
00:19:40,671 --> 00:19:42,772
You're running for city council?
443
00:19:42,871 --> 00:19:44,178
- Yeah.
- You're kidding, right?
444
00:19:44,203 --> 00:19:45,813
Nope. You know, getting this done
445
00:19:45,838 --> 00:19:47,535
really woke up my sense of civic duty.
446
00:19:47,661 --> 00:19:50,730
Plus, I've always wanted to
see my face on a button.
447
00:19:52,144 --> 00:19:54,103
So, if you win,
448
00:19:54,128 --> 00:19:57,248
won't that mean you'll be super
busy doing government stuff
449
00:19:57,288 --> 00:20:00,865
and won't have the time to
hang around here as much?
450
00:20:01,007 --> 00:20:02,480
I'm afraid so.
451
00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:04,320
- Hmm.
- Well, in that case,
452
00:20:04,345 --> 00:20:05,678
you got my vote.
453
00:20:06,267 --> 00:20:11,718
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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