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1
00:00:03,406 --> 00:00:05,669
- Wine country, here we come.
- Yes.
2
00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:08,883
The car is loaded, and in a
few hours we will be, too.
3
00:00:08,908 --> 00:00:11,954
Ooh, this is gonna be the
best girls' trip ever.
4
00:00:12,414 --> 00:00:16,296
Gemma, I love America, but there
is no country like wine country.
5
00:00:16,321 --> 00:00:20,000
Okay, so one last decision
before we hit the road:
6
00:00:20,342 --> 00:00:22,711
Which one pairs best with Chardonnay,
7
00:00:22,736 --> 00:00:25,570
- Jeanette or Tamika?
- Ooh.
8
00:00:26,651 --> 00:00:28,479
Oh, what about that curly black one
9
00:00:28,504 --> 00:00:30,593
that got us kicked out
of that club in Vegas?
10
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:33,196
Dominique? Oh, no, no,
she's on the wagon.
11
00:00:33,221 --> 00:00:34,614
Oh.
12
00:00:34,980 --> 00:00:37,314
Uh-oh, Jeanette and Tamika.
13
00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:40,651
You can take one or the other,
but you can't take both.
14
00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:42,877
I'm not bailing you three out again.
15
00:00:43,901 --> 00:00:46,453
Well, it looks like I'm gonna
have to go with Tamika,
16
00:00:46,478 --> 00:00:49,047
so you better behave.
17
00:00:49,072 --> 00:00:51,378
So you want to come watch
the transformation?
18
00:00:51,403 --> 00:00:54,211
Does my Aunt Mayvene dress up
her cats for the holidays?
19
00:00:54,741 --> 00:00:57,636
I was hoping no, but sounds like yes.
20
00:00:57,661 --> 00:00:59,399
Yes.
21
00:00:59,516 --> 00:01:01,532
I'm just glad she's
not taking Dominique.
22
00:01:01,557 --> 00:01:03,751
That hair is trifling.
23
00:01:03,934 --> 00:01:05,942
What it do, C-Dawg?
24
00:01:06,924 --> 00:01:10,204
Oh, and I thought my biggest
problem was gonna be the wig.
25
00:01:10,644 --> 00:01:12,679
So, since the ladies are gonna be gone,
26
00:01:12,726 --> 00:01:14,742
I got a little surprise for us...
27
00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:17,610
Front row tickets to tonight's game.
28
00:01:17,635 --> 00:01:21,030
Seriously? Courtside to the Laker game?
29
00:01:21,055 --> 00:01:24,110
C-Dawg is in.
30
00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:25,704
Well, actually,
31
00:01:25,729 --> 00:01:28,526
it's to the hockey game.
32
00:01:30,383 --> 00:01:33,212
Hockey? C-Dawg don't bark for hockey.
33
00:01:33,692 --> 00:01:35,526
Well, come on, it's gonna be great.
34
00:01:35,551 --> 00:01:38,116
Kings are playing the Red Wings...
it's an epic rivalry.
35
00:01:38,141 --> 00:01:39,319
Why don't you want to go?
36
00:01:39,344 --> 00:01:42,026
Well, for starters, I'm black.
37
00:01:43,226 --> 00:01:45,946
I know that's what everybody
thinks about hockey,
38
00:01:45,971 --> 00:01:48,234
but the truth is, there's a
lot of black players now.
39
00:01:48,396 --> 00:01:51,703
Yeah, but they're probably all
Canadian, so that doesn't count.
40
00:01:52,145 --> 00:01:54,734
Come on, Calvin, don't be
such a Negative Nancy.
41
00:01:54,759 --> 00:01:56,367
I'll tell you what, if at any point
42
00:01:56,392 --> 00:01:58,742
you're not having a good
time, you can leave.
43
00:01:58,767 --> 00:02:00,985
Great. Bye-bye.
44
00:02:03,321 --> 00:02:05,321
- Corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
45
00:02:08,782 --> 00:02:09,853
Here's your beer.
46
00:02:09,932 --> 00:02:12,108
- What'd I miss?
- Nothing.
47
00:02:12,183 --> 00:02:14,744
Just a bunch of guys with
no vowels in their names
48
00:02:14,769 --> 00:02:16,166
skating in circles.
49
00:02:17,083 --> 00:02:18,694
I mean, the least they could do
50
00:02:18,736 --> 00:02:20,956
is light the puck on fire or something.
51
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,770
Come on, Calvin, you're missing
52
00:02:23,795 --> 00:02:25,554
the finer points of the game here.
53
00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:28,495
I mean, look at these guys,
they're incredible athletes,
54
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:31,868
skating 20 miles an hour on
a quarter-inch of steel.
55
00:02:32,291 --> 00:02:34,562
I don't know, man, I-I'm
just not seeing it.
56
00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:35,992
- Oh!
- Oh!
57
00:02:36,017 --> 00:02:37,090
Oh, I saw that.
58
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:39,509
Oh! Oh, and that!
59
00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:40,853
Oh!
60
00:02:40,878 --> 00:02:42,895
With hits like that, who needs vowels?
61
00:02:43,156 --> 00:02:45,680
Yeah! Get him!
62
00:02:47,271 --> 00:02:50,407
Wow, this place is beautiful.
63
00:02:50,821 --> 00:02:52,307
Now where's the wine?
64
00:02:52,595 --> 00:02:56,065
Ooh, there it is. Thank you.
65
00:02:56,090 --> 00:02:57,658
I don't work here.
66
00:02:59,837 --> 00:03:02,142
Oh, well, this is good stuff,
you should get another one.
67
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:05,845
Hello.
68
00:03:05,870 --> 00:03:08,520
Welcome to Coastal Breeze Winery.
69
00:03:08,651 --> 00:03:11,001
Hi. We have a reservation under Johnson.
70
00:03:11,026 --> 00:03:12,069
Hmm. If possible,
71
00:03:12,094 --> 00:03:13,878
no balcony. We may get crazy,
72
00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:16,470
and it's safer if we're in a
room we can't fall out of.
73
00:03:17,423 --> 00:03:18,581
Oh, and, um,
74
00:03:18,606 --> 00:03:20,595
also nothing near the elevator.
75
00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:23,188
We don't want to be bothered
by obnoxious drunks.
76
00:03:23,213 --> 00:03:24,650
Oh, yeah.
77
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:28,463
Fill 'er up.
78
00:03:28,488 --> 00:03:30,860
Oh, my God, I can't believe it.
79
00:03:31,275 --> 00:03:33,728
You're Mary J. Blige.
80
00:03:33,753 --> 00:03:35,190
What?
81
00:03:35,587 --> 00:03:38,697
Oh, no, honey, it's the wig.
82
00:03:40,605 --> 00:03:42,103
My name is Tina Butler.
83
00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:46,666
Oh, I get it. Keeping
things on the down low.
84
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,222
Like me.
85
00:03:49,770 --> 00:03:52,860
Sorry to disappoint you, but
she really is Tina Butler.
86
00:03:52,990 --> 00:03:56,123
Well, for "Tina Butler's" privacy,
87
00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:59,775
I'm going to upgrade you
to the penthouse suite.
88
00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:02,770
You can call me Mary J.
89
00:04:14,228 --> 00:04:16,463
Man, there are two things
you don't want to be
90
00:04:16,488 --> 00:04:19,562
in a horror movie...
having sex or black.
91
00:04:24,588 --> 00:04:28,090
I mean, you, uh, you're
not scared, are you?
92
00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:31,040
Please, Malcolm, I'm a grown man.
93
00:04:31,397 --> 00:04:33,478
I know scary movies aren't real.
94
00:04:45,331 --> 00:04:48,103
What the hell is wrong with you guys?
95
00:04:48,308 --> 00:04:50,102
Us? Nothing.
96
00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:52,978
Can't-can't two brothers
scream together?
97
00:04:54,141 --> 00:04:55,721
Yeah, uh,
98
00:04:55,746 --> 00:04:57,456
Pop, what's with the outfits?
99
00:04:57,481 --> 00:04:59,091
Oh, we went to the hockey game together.
100
00:04:59,116 --> 00:05:02,354
Yeah, and it was awesome. Give me some.
101
00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:09,830
Hey, so we on for tomorrow night?
102
00:05:09,855 --> 00:05:11,815
Pink Floyd laser show
at the planetarium?
103
00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:13,197
Oh, you can "planet" on it.
104
00:05:13,222 --> 00:05:14,987
Okay, see you tomorrow, buddy.
105
00:05:15,012 --> 00:05:16,650
- Bye, guys.
- See you, Dave.
106
00:05:16,675 --> 00:05:17,937
Yeah.
107
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:25,152
What?
108
00:05:25,266 --> 00:05:27,268
Uh, you're wearing a hockey jersey,
109
00:05:27,506 --> 00:05:29,726
you're going to a Pink Floyd laser show,
110
00:05:29,751 --> 00:05:31,619
and you just made a pun about planets.
111
00:05:31,644 --> 00:05:34,135
Come on, man, I thought it was "punny."
112
00:05:36,579 --> 00:05:38,058
Okay, it's official,
113
00:05:38,141 --> 00:05:40,542
you are turning into a very tan Dave.
114
00:05:41,118 --> 00:05:43,603
I am not turning into Dave.
115
00:05:43,628 --> 00:05:46,103
So you're saying you're
a Pink Floyd fan?
116
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,852
Yeah, all his new stuff is great.
117
00:05:51,144 --> 00:05:54,103
I don't know, Pop, ever since
you and Dave became friends,
118
00:05:54,128 --> 00:05:55,791
you are kind of a different person.
119
00:05:55,816 --> 00:05:56,971
Yeah, you don't go to
120
00:05:56,996 --> 00:05:59,729
Ernie's anymore, you don't
play dominoes with the boys,
121
00:05:59,754 --> 00:06:01,877
and just the other day I
saw you put a quarter
122
00:06:01,902 --> 00:06:03,437
in someone else's parking meter.
123
00:06:03,604 --> 00:06:05,687
It's called paying it forward,
124
00:06:05,712 --> 00:06:08,687
which also happens to
be an excellent movie.
125
00:06:09,601 --> 00:06:12,473
Okay, who are you, and what
have you done with our father?
126
00:06:13,646 --> 00:06:15,083
Man, y'all tripping.
127
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,937
You're just being a couple
of Negative Nancys.
128
00:06:19,478 --> 00:06:21,186
Who said that?
129
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:24,307
Did you see the bathroom?
130
00:06:24,332 --> 00:06:27,291
I mean, if this isn't the
nicest hotel I've ever seen,
131
00:06:27,316 --> 00:06:29,187
then my name isn't Mary J. Blige.
132
00:06:30,536 --> 00:06:32,937
Your name isn't Mary J. Blige.
133
00:06:33,492 --> 00:06:35,687
It's Tina J. Liar.
134
00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:40,176
Oh, come on, Gemma, we're
not hurting anyone.
135
00:06:40,201 --> 00:06:43,104
I know, but aren't you worried
about getting caught?
136
00:06:43,189 --> 00:06:44,502
A little,
137
00:06:44,527 --> 00:06:47,283
but I think those free
massages they're sending up
138
00:06:47,308 --> 00:06:49,484
will melt those worries away.
139
00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:51,859
Wait, when did you arrange that?
140
00:06:51,886 --> 00:06:54,802
I didn't, my publicist did.
141
00:06:55,149 --> 00:06:56,838
And if anyone asks you,
you're my publicist.
142
00:06:56,863 --> 00:06:59,877
No. Tina,
143
00:06:59,902 --> 00:07:01,904
we are never gonna be
able to pull this off.
144
00:07:02,050 --> 00:07:04,002
Just because one guy thought
you were Mary J. Blige
145
00:07:04,027 --> 00:07:06,189
doesn't mean you can fool a whole hotel.
146
00:07:06,304 --> 00:07:07,853
Of white people?
147
00:07:09,233 --> 00:07:11,383
Honey, I could tell them I
was Martin Luther King,
148
00:07:11,408 --> 00:07:13,103
and they'd believe it.
149
00:07:13,979 --> 00:07:15,775
All this free stuff just doesn't
150
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,603
seem like it's worth the risk.
151
00:07:17,703 --> 00:07:20,576
Gemma, this is not about free stuff.
152
00:07:20,601 --> 00:07:21,776
Then what is it?
153
00:07:22,136 --> 00:07:23,749
Well, I know this may sound silly,
154
00:07:23,774 --> 00:07:25,720
but ever since I was a little girl,
155
00:07:25,745 --> 00:07:28,052
I always wanted to be a famous singer,
156
00:07:28,077 --> 00:07:30,764
and now for the next
couple of days, I can be.
157
00:07:30,861 --> 00:07:32,852
I mean, didn't you ever dream like that?
158
00:07:33,694 --> 00:07:35,006
Yes.
159
00:07:36,358 --> 00:07:38,191
Back when I was growing
up in Hickory Corners,
160
00:07:38,216 --> 00:07:41,784
I always dreamed of being the
Fall Festival Hog Queen.
161
00:07:44,245 --> 00:07:45,905
What is that and why?
162
00:07:45,973 --> 00:07:48,413
It is the biggest honor in town.
163
00:07:48,438 --> 00:07:51,358
You get a sash, a tiara, and you
get to ride down Main Street
164
00:07:51,383 --> 00:07:54,313
on a float pulled by a team of pigs.
165
00:07:55,781 --> 00:07:57,561
What a relatable story.
166
00:07:58,161 --> 00:07:59,827
I would've won, too.
167
00:07:59,852 --> 00:08:02,418
I crushed the bacon-eating contest,
168
00:08:02,443 --> 00:08:06,241
but that damn greased pig got
away from me every time.
169
00:08:06,809 --> 00:08:08,717
Gemma, I never thought I would say this,
170
00:08:08,742 --> 00:08:12,194
but being Mary J. Blige...
171
00:08:13,846 --> 00:08:15,772
is my greased pig.
172
00:08:23,591 --> 00:08:25,669
Morning.
173
00:08:33,575 --> 00:08:35,210
Hey, look at that.
174
00:08:35,362 --> 00:08:38,906
- Great minds dress alike.
- We're not dressed alike.
175
00:08:39,015 --> 00:08:41,960
My shirt has little blue
squares, and yours has, um,
176
00:08:42,363 --> 00:08:44,078
little blue boxes.
177
00:08:44,914 --> 00:08:46,789
I don't know.
178
00:08:46,814 --> 00:08:48,250
Looks pretty similar to me.
179
00:08:48,275 --> 00:08:50,146
Yeah, well, no one
else would think that.
180
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:53,728
Look at you two, twinsies!
181
00:09:00,863 --> 00:09:02,827
Hey, what's up, boys?
182
00:09:03,599 --> 00:09:05,207
Well, what is up with you,
183
00:09:05,232 --> 00:09:08,147
Run-DMC, you're having a midlife crisis?
184
00:09:09,181 --> 00:09:11,731
Very funny. For your information,
185
00:09:11,756 --> 00:09:14,106
I'm kicking it with my
old dance crew tonight.
186
00:09:14,724 --> 00:09:16,671
Your old dance crew?
187
00:09:16,696 --> 00:09:18,698
Didn't Keith just have hip surgery?
188
00:09:18,723 --> 00:09:21,902
Yeah. You know, he's still
got his handicap placard,
189
00:09:21,927 --> 00:09:24,574
so we get to park right
in front of the club.
190
00:09:24,868 --> 00:09:26,339
But I thought you were supposed to go
191
00:09:26,364 --> 00:09:27,746
to the planetarium tonight?
192
00:09:27,771 --> 00:09:30,164
Yeah, man, but those planets
gonna be there forever.
193
00:09:30,354 --> 00:09:33,356
Keith's handicap placard,
it expires next week.
194
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:38,370
Come on, Pop, is this because we
teased you about becoming Dave?
195
00:09:38,395 --> 00:09:42,785
No. This is about me getting
back in touch with my roots,
196
00:09:43,046 --> 00:09:44,700
about not forgetting who I am.
197
00:09:44,837 --> 00:09:46,652
And who exactly is that?
198
00:09:46,677 --> 00:09:49,985
Calvi-tronic, the Bionic
Breaking Machine.
199
00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:01,030
Oh.
200
00:10:01,221 --> 00:10:02,840
I don't know about a breaking machine,
201
00:10:02,865 --> 00:10:04,965
but something just broke inside of me.
202
00:10:07,153 --> 00:10:10,714
Uh-oh, there's Dave.
What you gonna tell him?
203
00:10:10,739 --> 00:10:13,230
I'm a grown-ass man.
204
00:10:13,324 --> 00:10:14,613
I'm not afraid
205
00:10:14,638 --> 00:10:17,020
to tell him what's what.
206
00:10:17,216 --> 00:10:19,496
I'm gonna tell him I'm sick.
207
00:10:22,608 --> 00:10:24,496
Hey, Calvin. You ready to roll?
208
00:10:24,877 --> 00:10:27,074
Nice blanket. I have one just like it.
209
00:10:27,391 --> 00:10:30,238
Can't go tonight, man. I'm sick.
210
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:31,568
Oh, no.
211
00:10:31,593 --> 00:10:32,910
Got sick at the hockey game.
212
00:10:32,935 --> 00:10:35,566
It was really cold in there, man.
213
00:10:41,136 --> 00:10:42,359
Really? You know,
214
00:10:42,384 --> 00:10:44,348
they keep the rink at 65 degrees.
215
00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:47,402
I know, but for black
people, that's like 32.
216
00:10:48,733 --> 00:10:50,996
- Okay, well, feel better, buddy.
- Yeah.
217
00:10:51,021 --> 00:10:54,449
- Bye, guys.
- Okay...
218
00:10:54,474 --> 00:10:56,270
Damn, Pop, that was cold.
219
00:10:56,295 --> 00:10:57,832
I know.
220
00:10:58,342 --> 00:11:00,449
32 degrees, baby.
221
00:11:06,318 --> 00:11:09,512
Ooh, that was an amazing massage.
222
00:11:09,537 --> 00:11:11,254
Not as good as the one yesterday,
223
00:11:11,279 --> 00:11:13,630
but better than the one this morning.
224
00:11:14,436 --> 00:11:16,411
It was pretty great.
225
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:18,567
But do you feel like
we're taking advantage?
226
00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:21,901
Ooh, yay! That must be
our second lobsters.
227
00:11:23,246 --> 00:11:24,324
Hi, Jeffrey.
228
00:11:24,349 --> 00:11:26,038
Hi. This is awkward, but...
229
00:11:26,063 --> 00:11:28,309
We can explain. I
wanted to be Hog Queen.
230
00:11:30,889 --> 00:11:33,488
Don't... don't mind my publicist.
231
00:11:33,513 --> 00:11:35,535
She has a pill problem.
232
00:11:36,744 --> 00:11:38,629
So what can we do for you?
233
00:11:38,654 --> 00:11:41,246
Well, one of our guests is
celebrating her birthday
234
00:11:41,271 --> 00:11:43,926
later tonight in the lounge,
and I was hoping...
235
00:11:44,067 --> 00:11:47,246
that Ms. Blige could pop
by for a quick hello.
236
00:11:48,159 --> 00:11:49,401
Okay, honey,
237
00:11:49,426 --> 00:11:51,152
- that sounds like fun.
- Oh, and you know
238
00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:54,230
what would be even more fun?
If she sings "Happy Birthday."
239
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:55,800
Oh, yeah, that'd be real...
240
00:11:55,825 --> 00:11:57,661
Wait, what?!
241
00:11:58,090 --> 00:12:00,543
Oh, that is so amazing. Thank you.
242
00:12:00,568 --> 00:12:02,293
I am much obliged.
243
00:12:02,318 --> 00:12:03,964
You see what I did there?
244
00:12:03,989 --> 00:12:05,027
Did you see it? Fun.
245
00:12:05,052 --> 00:12:07,551
Okay.
246
00:12:07,576 --> 00:12:09,386
What the hell, Gemma?
247
00:12:09,411 --> 00:12:11,332
How tight is that towel?
248
00:12:11,943 --> 00:12:13,511
Tina. Don't you see?
249
00:12:13,536 --> 00:12:15,113
This is your dream.
250
00:12:15,138 --> 00:12:17,046
Tonight's your night to be famous.
251
00:12:17,071 --> 00:12:18,684
Yeah, but as soon as I open my mouth,
252
00:12:18,709 --> 00:12:21,410
they're gonna know that
I'm not Mary J. Blige.
253
00:12:21,435 --> 00:12:24,371
No, they won't. You
have an amazing voice.
254
00:12:24,396 --> 00:12:27,504
Yeah. But still!
255
00:12:28,359 --> 00:12:31,160
Besides, it's like you
said, this is a winery.
256
00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:34,037
Everyone here is whiter
than the chardonnay.
257
00:12:34,578 --> 00:12:37,270
Well, it does sound kind of fun.
258
00:12:37,312 --> 00:12:38,788
Now you're talking.
259
00:12:38,813 --> 00:12:40,989
And, hey, maybe I could
be your backup singer.
260
00:12:41,014 --> 00:12:43,288
Stay in your lane, pig girl.
261
00:12:47,050 --> 00:12:49,122
Oh, hey, uh, Dave.
262
00:12:49,147 --> 00:12:51,497
I thought you were going
to the planetarium.
263
00:12:51,606 --> 00:12:53,801
Well, I was, but I realized
it wouldn't be as much fun
264
00:12:53,826 --> 00:12:55,789
without Calvin, so I
decided to stay home
265
00:12:55,814 --> 00:12:57,153
and make him some soup.
266
00:12:57,178 --> 00:12:58,356
How's he doing?
267
00:12:58,381 --> 00:12:59,974
- Better.
- Worse.
268
00:13:00,575 --> 00:13:01,967
Well, which is it?
269
00:13:01,992 --> 00:13:03,943
- Worse.
- Better.
270
00:13:05,311 --> 00:13:06,607
Okay, well, uh,
271
00:13:06,632 --> 00:13:08,161
- maybe the soup will help.
- Yeah.
272
00:13:08,186 --> 00:13:10,205
Just tell him I'll check
in on him tomorrow.
273
00:13:15,053 --> 00:13:16,913
Yeah.
274
00:13:18,719 --> 00:13:20,111
Hey.
275
00:13:23,686 --> 00:13:25,599
Calvin, what are you doing out of bed,
276
00:13:25,624 --> 00:13:27,278
and why are you dressed so funky fresh?
277
00:13:28,066 --> 00:13:29,286
Uh,
278
00:13:29,311 --> 00:13:31,536
I went to the drugstore
to get some medicine.
279
00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:32,927
Where is it?
280
00:13:32,952 --> 00:13:35,318
Damn it, I knew I forgot something.
281
00:13:36,509 --> 00:13:37,622
Hold on.
282
00:13:37,647 --> 00:13:40,583
Calvin, did you lie to
me about being sick?
283
00:13:40,759 --> 00:13:43,501
No. Because I am sick.
284
00:13:43,569 --> 00:13:44,817
I let down my defenses
285
00:13:44,842 --> 00:13:48,645
and got all infected
with your Dave-ness.
286
00:13:50,053 --> 00:13:51,577
Wh... Infected?
287
00:13:51,602 --> 00:13:53,762
Yeah, I mean, you got
me going to hockey.
288
00:13:53,787 --> 00:13:55,762
I mean, you and I are dressing alike.
289
00:13:55,787 --> 00:13:57,832
The other day a Taylor
Swift song came on,
290
00:13:57,857 --> 00:13:59,728
and I didn't even turn it off.
291
00:14:00,153 --> 00:14:02,794
Actually, he turned it up.
292
00:14:05,488 --> 00:14:08,491
I didn't know having things
in common was being infected.
293
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,040
I thought that was being friends.
294
00:14:11,065 --> 00:14:12,286
Uh...
295
00:14:12,516 --> 00:14:14,083
- Dave.
- No, you know what, Calvin?
296
00:14:14,108 --> 00:14:15,778
You said your piece. Enjoy the soup.
297
00:14:15,803 --> 00:14:19,200
It's infected, too. With love!
298
00:14:23,553 --> 00:14:26,469
Ooh... thank you for
making me do this, Gemma.
299
00:14:26,494 --> 00:14:29,013
I'm feeling kind of hyped.
300
00:14:29,147 --> 00:14:30,802
Oh, good. You're here.
301
00:14:30,827 --> 00:14:32,904
Thank you again for doing this, Ms.
Blige.
302
00:14:32,929 --> 00:14:34,176
Okay. So the birthday girl's name
303
00:14:34,201 --> 00:14:35,981
is Cynthia, and she is sitting
304
00:14:36,006 --> 00:14:37,558
right over there.
305
00:14:40,177 --> 00:14:42,701
She is not going to believe this!
306
00:14:42,792 --> 00:14:44,589
No, she is not.
307
00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:49,349
Okay, so I'm gonna go introduce you.
Showtime!
308
00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:52,786
Tina, they're not white!
309
00:14:52,811 --> 00:14:54,217
They're gonna know.
310
00:14:54,242 --> 00:14:56,051
Okay. All right. Gemma...
311
00:14:56,076 --> 00:14:57,474
let's get the hell out of here.
312
00:14:57,499 --> 00:14:59,317
Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only
313
00:14:59,342 --> 00:15:01,346
Mary J. Blige!
314
00:15:01,371 --> 00:15:03,255
Oh... Gemma.
315
00:15:05,155 --> 00:15:06,380
How you doing?
316
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:08,810
Oh, what the hell are we gonna do?
317
00:15:08,811 --> 00:15:11,200
Okay. Okay. It's gonna be fine.
318
00:15:11,225 --> 00:15:12,481
You're gonna go up there,
319
00:15:12,506 --> 00:15:14,116
you're gonna sing your heart out,
320
00:15:14,141 --> 00:15:16,404
and you're gonna live your dream. Okay?
321
00:15:16,429 --> 00:15:17,821
You're right. You're right.
322
00:15:17,846 --> 00:15:19,044
- This is my chance.
- Yes.
323
00:15:19,069 --> 00:15:20,200
I got this.
324
00:15:20,225 --> 00:15:21,964
But just in case...
325
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:26,098
It'll be harder to
describe me to the police.
326
00:15:28,107 --> 00:15:30,169
Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.
327
00:15:30,444 --> 00:15:32,536
Hey, how you doing?
328
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:34,771
Well, this song goes out
329
00:15:34,796 --> 00:15:36,363
to my girl Cynthia.
330
00:15:40,034 --> 00:15:43,988
♪ Happy birthday ♪
331
00:15:44,021 --> 00:15:46,087
♪ To you ♪
332
00:15:48,383 --> 00:15:49,916
♪ Happy ♪
333
00:15:49,941 --> 00:15:53,157
♪ Birthday to ♪
334
00:15:53,182 --> 00:15:55,673
♪ You ♪
335
00:15:55,698 --> 00:15:58,829
♪ Happy birthday ♪
336
00:15:58,854 --> 00:16:01,750
♪ Dear Cynthia ♪
337
00:16:01,775 --> 00:16:06,289
♪ Happy birthday ♪
338
00:16:06,314 --> 00:16:08,672
♪ To ♪
339
00:16:08,697 --> 00:16:12,056
♪ You. ♪
340
00:16:15,071 --> 00:16:16,672
Thank you.
341
00:16:16,697 --> 00:16:19,032
Thank you so much, Ms. Blige.
342
00:16:19,057 --> 00:16:20,667
That was simply beautiful.
343
00:16:20,692 --> 00:16:22,571
Awesome. I'm not done yet.
344
00:16:22,596 --> 00:16:25,212
"Family Affair," hit it!
345
00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:30,664
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
346
00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:32,938
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
347
00:16:33,377 --> 00:16:35,094
♪ Come on, everybody! ♪
348
00:16:35,603 --> 00:16:37,016
Isn't she amazing?
349
00:16:37,041 --> 00:16:38,751
She is.
350
00:16:38,776 --> 00:16:41,256
But she sure as hell ain't Mary J.
Blige.
351
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:45,255
Okay, look. She's my best friend,
352
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,141
and she's up there living her dream.
353
00:16:47,166 --> 00:16:48,388
So?
354
00:16:48,413 --> 00:16:49,931
So, if you don't rat us out,
355
00:16:49,956 --> 00:16:51,649
you can have our penthouse suite,
356
00:16:51,674 --> 00:16:53,875
all the massages we have
scheduled for tomorrow,
357
00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:55,368
and...
358
00:16:55,511 --> 00:16:56,797
68 bucks.
359
00:17:00,225 --> 00:17:03,880
Go, Mary! Go, Mary! Go, Mary!
360
00:17:03,905 --> 00:17:06,131
♪ Let's get it crunk upon ♪
361
00:17:06,156 --> 00:17:08,725
♪ Have fun upon up in this dancery ♪
362
00:17:08,750 --> 00:17:11,834
♪ We got ya open, now you're floatin' ♪
363
00:17:11,859 --> 00:17:14,452
♪ So you gots to dance for me ♪
364
00:17:14,477 --> 00:17:16,982
♪ Don't need no hateration ♪
365
00:17:17,007 --> 00:17:19,334
♪ Holleration in this dancery ♪
366
00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:22,423
♪ Let's get it percolatin',
while you're... ♪
367
00:17:24,518 --> 00:17:25,693
Hey, Dave.
368
00:17:25,718 --> 00:17:27,214
Yeah, careful, Calvin.
369
00:17:27,239 --> 00:17:28,701
You don't want to catch anything else.
370
00:17:28,726 --> 00:17:31,464
I've been told my laugh
is pretty contagious.
371
00:17:32,377 --> 00:17:33,823
Look, man...
372
00:17:33,848 --> 00:17:35,303
I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings,
373
00:17:35,328 --> 00:17:37,811
but I just felt like your Dave-ness
374
00:17:37,836 --> 00:17:39,779
was rubbing off on me too much.
375
00:17:39,804 --> 00:17:41,328
Well, what's wrong with that?
376
00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:44,047
Why can't friends rub off on each other?
377
00:17:45,781 --> 00:17:48,709
Rubbing off on people
is completely natural.
378
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:51,296
I welcome people rubbing off on me.
379
00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:55,576
If anybody's listening,
we're just neighbors!
380
00:17:56,661 --> 00:17:59,247
I just don't understand
why it's such a bad thing
381
00:17:59,272 --> 00:18:01,357
for friends to influence each other.
382
00:18:01,458 --> 00:18:03,412
You don't think that I've
changed because of you?
383
00:18:03,437 --> 00:18:04,952
How have you changed?
384
00:18:04,977 --> 00:18:06,569
I'm more assertive, like you,
385
00:18:06,594 --> 00:18:08,193
I'm more confident, like you,
386
00:18:08,218 --> 00:18:10,716
and if someone's being a
jackass, I now tell them
387
00:18:10,741 --> 00:18:12,303
they're being a jackass...
388
00:18:12,328 --> 00:18:13,678
jackass.
389
00:18:14,029 --> 00:18:15,597
One more compliment like that,
390
00:18:15,622 --> 00:18:17,208
and we're gonna have a problem.
391
00:18:17,554 --> 00:18:20,052
Calvin, we already do have a problem.
392
00:18:20,077 --> 00:18:21,804
Why would I want to be
friends with someone
393
00:18:21,829 --> 00:18:24,330
who thinks being me is such a bad thing?
394
00:18:24,665 --> 00:18:25,971
'Cause I'm dope.
395
00:18:25,998 --> 00:18:29,381
And your attitude... it's...
wickity-wack.
396
00:18:31,236 --> 00:18:35,831
Look, Dave, I don't think
being you is a bad thing.
397
00:18:35,856 --> 00:18:37,510
All right, you're a good dude.
398
00:18:37,666 --> 00:18:39,737
But Calvin Butler has an edge.
399
00:18:39,762 --> 00:18:42,243
And around here, people
see me a certain way,
400
00:18:42,268 --> 00:18:43,792
and I don't want to lose that.
401
00:18:43,817 --> 00:18:45,166
Fine, but don't blame me
402
00:18:45,191 --> 00:18:48,190
because Taylor Swift sang
her way into your heart.
403
00:18:48,630 --> 00:18:51,283
I don't know what it
is, she just gets me.
404
00:18:53,721 --> 00:18:55,244
But you're right.
405
00:18:55,577 --> 00:18:59,756
I shouldn't have done that, and, uh...
I'm sorry.
406
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:03,524
You know what? It, it's okay.
407
00:19:04,051 --> 00:19:05,901
You know what's better than okay?
408
00:19:06,031 --> 00:19:07,729
That soup you made.
409
00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:11,331
I knew you’d like it.
410
00:19:11,510 --> 00:19:13,690
I used the parsnips we got
from the farmers market.
411
00:19:13,715 --> 00:19:15,143
Oh, yeah, right. From the lady...
412
00:19:15,168 --> 00:19:17,807
With the yellow overalls.
413
00:19:18,906 --> 00:19:21,917
- No, that's too much.
- Yeah, this is getting weird. Okay.
414
00:19:28,581 --> 00:19:30,836
Hey, man. We were in
the middle of a game.
415
00:19:30,861 --> 00:19:31,970
Not anymore.
416
00:19:31,995 --> 00:19:35,095
It's been canceled on
the account of dance.
417
00:19:36,074 --> 00:19:38,103
Oh, come on, Dad. We don't want to see
418
00:19:38,128 --> 00:19:39,627
your tired old dance moves.
419
00:19:39,652 --> 00:19:42,713
Yeah. And I'm not helping
you up this time.
420
00:19:43,150 --> 00:19:46,228
Nah, man. What you're
about to see is all new.
421
00:19:46,309 --> 00:19:47,791
Yo, D-Money!
422
00:19:56,897 --> 00:19:58,392
Let's get stupid.
423
00:19:59,871 --> 00:20:01,791
♪ Uh! ♪
424
00:20:04,015 --> 00:20:05,426
♪ Uh! ♪
425
00:20:07,866 --> 00:20:09,677
♪ Uh! ♪
426
00:20:12,661 --> 00:20:13,677
♪ Uh! ♪
427
00:20:16,075 --> 00:20:17,926
♪ Uh! ♪
428
00:20:23,929 --> 00:20:26,344
Are-are we gonna sit
here and watch this?
429
00:20:26,369 --> 00:20:28,154
Hell no.
430
00:20:28,179 --> 00:20:29,844
Let's battle these fools.
431
00:20:30,077 --> 00:20:31,687
♪ Uh! ♪
432
00:20:34,281 --> 00:20:35,848
♪ Uh! ♪
433
00:20:39,127 --> 00:20:40,607
♪ Uh! ♪
434
00:20:42,895 --> 00:20:44,375
♪ Uh! ♪
435
00:20:45,195 --> 00:20:46,554
♪ Uh! ♪
436
00:20:48,707 --> 00:20:50,187
♪ Uh! ♪
437
00:20:50,630 --> 00:20:54,421
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- www.addic7ed.com -
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