Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,426 --> 00:00:04,551
Thanks again for having us over, Tina.
2
00:00:04,552 --> 00:00:06,693
Yeah, the chicken and
dumplings are delicious.
3
00:00:06,694 --> 00:00:07,860
Aren't they, Grover?
4
00:00:07,861 --> 00:00:10,096
Wow, that is interesting.
5
00:00:11,742 --> 00:00:14,443
So I had to turn off my
football game for dinner,
6
00:00:14,444 --> 00:00:17,013
but the kid gets to
play world wide webs?
7
00:00:18,415 --> 00:00:20,583
Dad, the "world wide webs",
8
00:00:20,584 --> 00:00:23,686
or as people under a hundred
call it, the Internet...
9
00:00:25,131 --> 00:00:27,690
... is not a game. It's-it's
a, it's a global network...
10
00:00:27,691 --> 00:00:29,458
Marty... you're talking to Pop.
11
00:00:29,459 --> 00:00:32,028
The clock is still flashing
12:00 on his VCR.
12
00:00:33,781 --> 00:00:36,906
Which still has a tape of
Beverly Hills Cop stuck in it.
13
00:00:38,099 --> 00:00:41,070
You know what? That
was due back in 1997.
14
00:00:41,071 --> 00:00:43,072
Good thing Blockbuster
went out of business, huh?
15
00:00:45,809 --> 00:00:47,743
Grover, Mr. Calvin's right.
16
00:00:47,744 --> 00:00:49,946
Didn't we agree no screens at the table?
17
00:00:49,947 --> 00:00:54,050
Yeah, I wasn't really sure
where we landed on that.
18
00:00:55,419 --> 00:00:58,054
So, Calvin, it looks like your
auto shop has some competition.
19
00:00:58,055 --> 00:01:00,389
I saw a new Motor Boys
opened up down the block.
20
00:01:00,390 --> 00:01:02,325
Please.
21
00:01:02,326 --> 00:01:06,295
Some generic chain with a stupid jingle?
22
00:01:06,296 --> 00:01:07,897
I think it's catchy.
23
00:01:07,898 --> 00:01:10,299
♪ Car or truck, you're
in luck, with the ♪
24
00:01:10,300 --> 00:01:12,335
- ♪ Motor Boys. ♪
- Beep! Beep!
25
00:01:15,272 --> 00:01:17,940
Why don't you all go "beep-beep"
yourselves, all right?
26
00:01:18,976 --> 00:01:20,576
Whoa!
27
00:01:20,577 --> 00:01:23,179
Motor Boys has a really cool website.
28
00:01:23,180 --> 00:01:26,449
Grover! Didn't I just say
no screens at the table?
29
00:01:26,450 --> 00:01:30,019
Oh, so we are going with that.
30
00:01:31,621 --> 00:01:32,922
You know,
31
00:01:32,923 --> 00:01:35,024
business has slowed down
since they opened up.
32
00:01:35,025 --> 00:01:37,026
Maybe we should think
about updating our shop.
33
00:01:37,027 --> 00:01:38,794
Oh, I could upgrade
your computer system.
34
00:01:38,795 --> 00:01:40,196
Automate your payroll.
35
00:01:40,197 --> 00:01:41,430
Maybe make you a website
36
00:01:41,431 --> 00:01:42,531
that's not just a picture of you
37
00:01:42,532 --> 00:01:44,133
laying across the hood of a Corvette?
38
00:01:46,970 --> 00:01:49,638
While you're at it,
will you fix his e-mail?
39
00:01:49,639 --> 00:01:52,008
I send him stuff all the time.
40
00:01:52,009 --> 00:01:54,043
I never get a reply.
41
00:01:55,612 --> 00:01:58,481
Yeah, that's weird, huh?
42
00:01:58,482 --> 00:02:00,516
So what do you say, Calvin?
43
00:02:00,517 --> 00:02:01,550
Can Marty help us out?
44
00:02:01,551 --> 00:02:03,886
Why not? You can come in tomorrow.
45
00:02:03,887 --> 00:02:05,988
And I'll start working
on a jingle for you.
46
00:02:05,989 --> 00:02:09,492
Ooh, great. E-mail it to me.
47
00:02:15,495 --> 00:02:17,996
So what goes down at an
overnight teachers' retreat?
48
00:02:17,997 --> 00:02:19,631
Oh, we have so much fun.
49
00:02:19,632 --> 00:02:22,868
PowerPoint presentations,
course lectures,
50
00:02:22,869 --> 00:02:24,002
and... wait for it...
51
00:02:24,003 --> 00:02:26,972
we all come home with a huge binder!
52
00:02:26,973 --> 00:02:30,876
My God, I married the
world's hottest nerd.
53
00:02:32,879 --> 00:02:35,381
All right, sweetie, be good for
Dad. I'll see you tomorrow.
54
00:02:35,382 --> 00:02:38,150
I don't know. Probably in my room?
55
00:02:40,274 --> 00:02:42,208
You know what? You've
been on that thing a lot.
56
00:02:42,209 --> 00:02:44,377
Why don't we take a little
screen break for a few days?
57
00:02:44,378 --> 00:02:47,113
A few days? That's so unfair.
58
00:02:47,114 --> 00:02:48,848
No, come on. It's a good thing.
59
00:02:48,849 --> 00:02:50,830
Look, you can play outside,
climb some trees,
60
00:02:50,831 --> 00:02:52,118
ride your bike around.
61
00:02:52,119 --> 00:02:56,756
Okay, if I say I'm sorry,
can I not do any of that?
62
00:02:56,757 --> 00:02:58,959
All right, sweetie, I
got to go. Give me a hug.
63
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,261
I'll miss you, Mom.
64
00:03:01,262 --> 00:03:03,296
- So, so...
- I'm with Dad.
65
00:03:03,297 --> 00:03:06,066
- Bye.
- Cheer up.
66
00:03:06,067 --> 00:03:07,634
You're gonna have so much fun.
67
00:03:07,635 --> 00:03:09,469
It's gonna be great.
68
00:03:09,470 --> 00:03:11,304
It's gonna be terrible.
69
00:03:13,311 --> 00:03:14,845
What are you talking about?
70
00:03:14,846 --> 00:03:16,914
I have tried the "no
screens" thing before,
71
00:03:16,915 --> 00:03:19,016
and it always ends
in tears and tantrums.
72
00:03:19,017 --> 00:03:21,652
Well, if he throws a tantrum,
73
00:03:21,653 --> 00:03:23,720
I will deal with it.
74
00:03:23,721 --> 00:03:26,590
I was talking about me.
75
00:03:26,591 --> 00:03:29,493
You've just committed
yourself to 48 hours of:
76
00:03:29,494 --> 00:03:31,028
"Dad. Dad.
77
00:03:31,029 --> 00:03:32,696
Dad. Dad".
78
00:03:32,697 --> 00:03:34,765
And I will come back with,
79
00:03:34,766 --> 00:03:37,100
"What's up? I'm here.
80
00:03:37,101 --> 00:03:38,368
Let's rage".
81
00:03:38,369 --> 00:03:40,504
Ho-ho. Oh, don't worry.
82
00:03:40,505 --> 00:03:42,506
There will be rage.
83
00:03:42,507 --> 00:03:44,007
You know, I'm starting
to get the feeling
84
00:03:44,008 --> 00:03:45,509
that you don't think I can do this.
85
00:03:45,510 --> 00:03:47,611
Don't take this the wrong
way, but if I couldn't,
86
00:03:47,612 --> 00:03:49,746
you definitely can't.
87
00:03:49,747 --> 00:03:52,616
Ho-ho! Really?
88
00:03:52,617 --> 00:03:55,419
Well, what you don't realize
is I have something you don't.
89
00:03:56,621 --> 00:03:59,456
The mind of an eight-year-old boy.
90
00:03:59,457 --> 00:04:01,925
Finally, something we agree on.
91
00:04:04,529 --> 00:04:06,897
Okay. We're off to a great start.
92
00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:09,299
The TV in your waiting room
now gets more than one channel.
93
00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:11,101
Oh, great. How did you do that?
94
00:04:11,102 --> 00:04:12,803
Well, not to get too technical,
95
00:04:12,804 --> 00:04:15,105
but I put new batteries in the remote.
96
00:04:17,075 --> 00:04:19,943
The remote? Calvin, you
told me it was stolen.
97
00:04:19,944 --> 00:04:21,211
Yeah.
98
00:04:21,212 --> 00:04:24,381
Uh, looks like I fired
Eduardo for nothing.
99
00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:28,051
Well, thanks for your help, man.
100
00:04:28,052 --> 00:04:30,587
Be sure to treat yourself to
a hard candy on the way out.
101
00:04:32,123 --> 00:04:34,591
Calvin, look. You may
not want Marty's help,
102
00:04:34,592 --> 00:04:37,227
but as the person who keeps
the books around here, I do.
103
00:04:37,228 --> 00:04:40,831
Well, fine. We're watching
Beverly Hills Cop II tonight.
104
00:04:40,832 --> 00:04:44,935
That's right. I used a butter
knife to get Part I out.
105
00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:48,238
Okay, Marty, what's next?
106
00:04:48,239 --> 00:04:50,440
Well, let's take a look at
how you organize your invoices.
107
00:04:50,441 --> 00:04:52,809
Oh. Okay, everything's
stored right over here.
108
00:04:52,810 --> 00:04:55,078
Oh, file cabinet. Old school.
109
00:04:55,079 --> 00:04:56,513
Nike.
110
00:04:56,514 --> 00:04:58,915
So, that's August 2012.
111
00:05:01,319 --> 00:05:03,120
This is how you keep your records?
112
00:05:03,121 --> 00:05:05,622
How do you keep anything organized?
113
00:05:05,623 --> 00:05:07,090
These are barely receipts.
114
00:05:07,091 --> 00:05:09,693
"Herman, $200"? What'd
you do for Herman?
115
00:05:09,694 --> 00:05:11,361
It says it right here.
116
00:05:11,362 --> 00:05:13,163
$200 worth of work.
117
00:05:15,667 --> 00:05:16,767
Yeah, but,
118
00:05:16,768 --> 00:05:18,468
but what specifically did you do?
119
00:05:18,469 --> 00:05:20,671
Well, if you want to know that,
120
00:05:20,672 --> 00:05:22,139
then we gonna have to call Eduardo.
121
00:05:23,508 --> 00:05:24,875
How do you say,
122
00:05:24,876 --> 00:05:26,810
"Oops, my bad" in Spanish?
123
00:05:29,013 --> 00:05:30,881
That was so much fun. What's next?
124
00:05:34,652 --> 00:05:38,188
Grover. We just did
mini-golf, batting cages,
125
00:05:38,189 --> 00:05:40,323
we even went to the dog park.
126
00:05:40,324 --> 00:05:41,525
We don't have a dog.
127
00:05:43,561 --> 00:05:44,661
Aren't you tired?
128
00:05:44,662 --> 00:05:46,630
Not at all.
129
00:05:46,631 --> 00:05:51,168
Ooh. I thought all that
fetching would tire you out.
130
00:05:53,204 --> 00:05:54,838
So, now what?
131
00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:56,640
How about this?
132
00:05:56,641 --> 00:05:58,408
How about we take a five-minute break
133
00:05:58,409 --> 00:06:00,243
so Dad can rest his eyes?
134
00:06:00,244 --> 00:06:01,545
Okay.
135
00:06:01,546 --> 00:06:03,180
Whew...
136
00:06:04,849 --> 00:06:07,517
How will I know when
it's been five minutes?
137
00:06:07,518 --> 00:06:10,187
I'll tell you.
138
00:06:11,589 --> 00:06:12,656
How will you know?
139
00:06:14,659 --> 00:06:16,326
Buddy...
140
00:06:16,327 --> 00:06:18,551
look around you. You
have all these toys.
141
00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:20,597
You've got a big backyard.
142
00:06:20,598 --> 00:06:22,399
You've got a room upstairs.
143
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:26,002
Can you really find no
way to entertain yourself?
144
00:06:26,003 --> 00:06:28,338
- I have an idea.
- Oh, good.
145
00:06:28,339 --> 00:06:29,706
Screen time!
146
00:06:30,675 --> 00:06:32,209
Grover! Drop it!
147
00:06:32,210 --> 00:06:33,210
Bad boy!
148
00:06:35,046 --> 00:06:37,581
Sorry. I'm still in dog park mode.
149
00:06:37,582 --> 00:06:40,250
Listen. Come here, buddy.
150
00:06:42,286 --> 00:06:44,721
It would make my life...
151
00:06:44,722 --> 00:06:48,058
so much easier
152
00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:49,426
if I gave this to you.
153
00:06:49,427 --> 00:06:51,128
I don't know, Dad.
154
00:06:51,129 --> 00:06:53,930
Trust your instincts.
155
00:06:53,931 --> 00:06:58,068
But Mom doesn't think that we
can go a few days without it.
156
00:06:58,069 --> 00:07:00,303
And I want to prove to her that we can.
157
00:07:01,372 --> 00:07:03,306
Which is why...
158
00:07:03,307 --> 00:07:05,142
you're not gonna tell
her that I'm gonna let you
159
00:07:05,143 --> 00:07:06,943
play with this for a few minutes.
160
00:07:06,944 --> 00:07:08,111
Yes!
161
00:07:08,112 --> 00:07:10,080
But remember, we're not telling Mom.
162
00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:12,816
- Mom who?
- Oh...
163
00:07:12,817 --> 00:07:15,652
Okay, Dad. I just finished
setting up your new system.
164
00:07:15,653 --> 00:07:18,255
This tablet controls
all your scheduling,
165
00:07:18,256 --> 00:07:19,923
estimates and service notes.
166
00:07:19,924 --> 00:07:21,925
Does it have Angry Birds on there?
167
00:07:23,227 --> 00:07:26,596
'Cause I love pissing
off them uppity pigs.
168
00:07:27,632 --> 00:07:28,965
Hey, Calvin.
169
00:07:28,966 --> 00:07:30,467
Hey, what's up, Roy?
170
00:07:30,468 --> 00:07:32,302
I got a text saying my car was ready.
171
00:07:32,303 --> 00:07:33,770
I didn't text you.
172
00:07:33,771 --> 00:07:35,972
Uh, no. But your new system did.
173
00:07:35,973 --> 00:07:37,974
I programmed it so when
a customer's car is ready,
174
00:07:37,975 --> 00:07:39,242
they get a notification.
175
00:07:39,243 --> 00:07:41,478
I didn't ask you to do all that.
176
00:07:41,479 --> 00:07:43,747
I'm not sure I'm
comfortable with my shop
177
00:07:43,748 --> 00:07:46,183
making its own booty calls.
178
00:07:46,184 --> 00:07:48,952
Dad, trust me. This is
gonna make your business
179
00:07:48,953 --> 00:07:52,022
more efficient. See, customers
will be automatically billed,
180
00:07:52,023 --> 00:07:53,824
the payments go directly
into your account,
181
00:07:53,825 --> 00:07:56,293
and you don't have to call
them when their car is ready.
182
00:07:56,294 --> 00:07:58,829
Wait a minute. So I get my money faster?
183
00:07:58,830 --> 00:08:02,032
And I don't have to talk
to chatterboxes like Roy?
184
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,201
Hey.
185
00:08:04,202 --> 00:08:07,671
Roy, please. I know
more about your prostate
186
00:08:07,672 --> 00:08:09,973
than the doctor who gave you the exam.
187
00:08:14,679 --> 00:08:16,046
So what do you say, Dad?
188
00:08:16,047 --> 00:08:17,948
You want to give it a shot?
189
00:08:17,949 --> 00:08:19,149
Why not?
190
00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:20,784
All right, great! You'll see.
191
00:08:20,785 --> 00:08:22,118
This is gonna make you leaner,
192
00:08:22,119 --> 00:08:24,721
meaner and rolling in the greener.
193
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:29,459
Boy, you may be smart, but
you couldn't wrap a burrito.
194
00:08:32,463 --> 00:08:36,466
Thanks for letting me have
screen time again today, Dad.
195
00:08:36,467 --> 00:08:38,902
I don't know, maybe spaghetti?
196
00:08:40,371 --> 00:08:42,539
Uh-oh. Mom. Mom's home.
197
00:08:42,540 --> 00:08:44,574
Uh, quick, hide this.
198
00:08:44,575 --> 00:08:45,675
Okay, but you hide this.
199
00:08:47,846 --> 00:08:50,881
- Hey, guys.
- Oh, hey, Gem. How was the retreat?
200
00:08:50,882 --> 00:08:52,148
Did you get your binder?
201
00:08:53,184 --> 00:08:54,751
I got two!
202
00:08:54,752 --> 00:08:56,553
Oh.
203
00:08:56,554 --> 00:08:59,856
Wow. It looks like
you two are having fun.
204
00:08:59,857 --> 00:09:01,658
You bet your binders we are.
205
00:09:02,927 --> 00:09:06,329
You know, I'm gonna take this
magazine to read upstairs.
206
00:09:06,330 --> 00:09:08,098
It's got something
really interesting in it.
207
00:09:11,235 --> 00:09:13,536
So, how long before you
gave him his screen back?
208
00:09:13,537 --> 00:09:14,905
Because if it was under two hours,
209
00:09:14,906 --> 00:09:16,706
the choir teacher owes
me a hundred bucks.
210
00:09:18,042 --> 00:09:20,844
Well, I hate to disappoint you,
211
00:09:20,845 --> 00:09:23,280
but... we made it the whole time.
212
00:09:23,281 --> 00:09:24,581
Really?
213
00:09:24,582 --> 00:09:26,016
Yup.
214
00:09:26,017 --> 00:09:27,384
And no tantrums?
215
00:09:27,385 --> 00:09:30,720
Not him. Not me.
216
00:09:31,756 --> 00:09:33,623
Wow. I'm impressed.
217
00:09:33,624 --> 00:09:36,092
Well, Gem, what you
have to understand is...
218
00:09:38,296 --> 00:09:40,196
... I'm kind of a Dad-ass.
219
00:09:41,866 --> 00:09:44,067
Come on, Calvin, what's taking so long?
220
00:09:44,068 --> 00:09:46,303
I got a text an hour ago
that said my car was ready.
221
00:09:46,304 --> 00:09:48,905
Yeah, and you texted me a selfie.
222
00:09:48,906 --> 00:09:50,830
Everybody just calm down.
223
00:09:50,831 --> 00:09:52,042
I'm gonna get to y'all in a minute.
224
00:09:52,043 --> 00:09:53,376
And you, you delete that picture.
225
00:09:53,377 --> 00:09:54,811
I don't know you like that.
226
00:09:56,547 --> 00:09:59,382
All right. Okay, I opened
the customer profile,
227
00:09:59,383 --> 00:10:02,585
swiped to the diagnostic menu,
228
00:10:02,586 --> 00:10:04,421
clicked "payment".
229
00:10:04,422 --> 00:10:06,589
You just texted me another selfie.
230
00:10:08,030 --> 00:10:10,088
Hey, Dad. I just got your message.
231
00:10:10,089 --> 00:10:12,228
- What's the problem?
- I'm gonna tell you what the problem is.
232
00:10:12,229 --> 00:10:15,332
Your stupid system got me
sending pictures to dudes!
233
00:10:15,333 --> 00:10:17,767
Okay. There's nothing
wrong with the system.
234
00:10:17,768 --> 00:10:19,769
- You must've made a mistake.
- You know, the only mistake
235
00:10:19,770 --> 00:10:21,171
I made was letting you come up in here
236
00:10:21,172 --> 00:10:22,272
and mess up my business.
237
00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:24,407
Dad, calm down, man, I'll fix it.
238
00:10:24,408 --> 00:10:26,509
No. I think you've fixed enough.
239
00:10:26,510 --> 00:10:27,744
I'm just trying to help you.
240
00:10:27,745 --> 00:10:30,747
You want to help? Get out of my shop,
241
00:10:30,748 --> 00:10:32,115
and take this thing with you.
242
00:10:32,116 --> 00:10:35,652
Fine. You don't want my
help? Stay stuck in the past.
243
00:10:35,653 --> 00:10:37,520
You don't even know
what you're talking about.
244
00:10:37,521 --> 00:10:39,622
I'm not stuck in the past.
245
00:10:39,623 --> 00:10:41,081
All right, y'all sit tight.
246
00:10:41,082 --> 00:10:43,217
I'm gonna go in here and
check my shoebox file.
247
00:10:47,684 --> 00:10:50,019
- There you go, baby.
- Oh, thank you.
248
00:10:50,020 --> 00:10:51,573
Hey, I'm surprised Marty's not here.
249
00:10:51,574 --> 00:10:52,788
He loves your waffles.
250
00:10:52,789 --> 00:10:56,291
He's not coming. He texted to
say he's too mad at your father.
251
00:10:56,292 --> 00:10:58,360
Oh. Well, that's too bad.
252
00:10:58,361 --> 00:10:59,662
He don't know what he's missing,
253
00:10:59,663 --> 00:11:03,032
but, uh, he's about to.
254
00:11:03,033 --> 00:11:05,534
Ooh. Waffles.
255
00:11:05,535 --> 00:11:06,793
Hey.
256
00:11:06,794 --> 00:11:08,185
Those are my waffles.
257
00:11:08,186 --> 00:11:09,844
How could you treat Marty like that?
258
00:11:09,845 --> 00:11:11,445
He was just trying to help.
259
00:11:11,446 --> 00:11:14,048
Well, all he did was make
things more complicated.
260
00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:16,617
By the time I figured out
how to charge Mrs. Perkins
261
00:11:16,618 --> 00:11:19,620
for her oil change, she
was due for another one.
262
00:11:20,989 --> 00:11:23,190
Yeah, Pop, if you're not gonna upgrade,
263
00:11:23,191 --> 00:11:25,326
how do you expect to
compete with Motor Boys?
264
00:11:25,327 --> 00:11:26,961
Well, I'm glad you asked.
265
00:11:26,962 --> 00:11:29,329
You know, I spent all night coming up
266
00:11:29,330 --> 00:11:31,598
with a brilliant marketing strategy
267
00:11:31,599 --> 00:11:34,835
that is gonna bring in
tons of new business.
268
00:11:34,836 --> 00:11:36,036
Holla!
269
00:11:37,872 --> 00:11:41,475
Free tune-ups? How can
we afford to do that?
270
00:11:41,476 --> 00:11:44,144
Oh, it's easy. Just read the fine print.
271
00:11:44,145 --> 00:11:47,881
"One free tune-up
after 15 at full price.
272
00:11:47,882 --> 00:11:50,851
Offer good for one week only"?
273
00:11:52,053 --> 00:11:53,654
That's pretty slick, huh?
274
00:11:53,655 --> 00:11:55,989
Believe what I tell you,
275
00:11:55,990 --> 00:11:59,660
Motor Boys is going down.
276
00:11:59,661 --> 00:12:01,662
So, that's your big plan?
277
00:12:01,663 --> 00:12:03,864
You gonna beat Motor Boys
by standing on the corner
278
00:12:03,865 --> 00:12:05,298
and spinning that sign?
279
00:12:05,299 --> 00:12:07,401
No. You are.
280
00:12:15,677 --> 00:12:17,577
Oh, hey, Gemma. What's up?
281
00:12:17,578 --> 00:12:20,738
Not much. Just running some
errands, doing some shopping,
282
00:12:20,739 --> 00:12:22,340
wondering if I'm a terrible mom.
283
00:12:23,551 --> 00:12:24,685
What?
284
00:12:24,686 --> 00:12:26,687
- Let me ask you something.
- Mm-hmm?
285
00:12:26,688 --> 00:12:29,423
Do you ever feel like Calvin's
a better parent than you?
286
00:12:33,594 --> 00:12:36,396
Girl, please. Right now he
has one son that's not talking
287
00:12:36,397 --> 00:12:39,232
to him and the other that's
out working the street corner.
288
00:12:39,233 --> 00:12:42,035
Sit down. Tell me what's going on.
289
00:12:42,036 --> 00:12:44,984
Dave decided no screens
for Grover while I was gone,
290
00:12:44,985 --> 00:12:46,106
and it went great.
291
00:12:46,107 --> 00:12:49,042
But every time I've tried,
it's been a disaster.
292
00:12:49,043 --> 00:12:50,777
Oh, no. I'm sure it wasn't that bad.
293
00:12:50,778 --> 00:12:53,780
Last time, I was so
worn out, I told Grover
294
00:12:53,781 --> 00:12:57,084
it was daylight savings and
sent him to bed at 3 o'clock.
295
00:12:57,085 --> 00:12:59,720
Well, girl, that's nothing.
296
00:12:59,721 --> 00:13:02,222
Back when the boys were younger,
we used to play hide-and-seek.
297
00:13:02,223 --> 00:13:04,858
And the boys would search
around the house for an hour,
298
00:13:04,859 --> 00:13:07,127
while I'd be napping in the car.
299
00:13:08,063 --> 00:13:10,130
Well, Dave doesn't need any naps.
300
00:13:10,131 --> 00:13:12,399
Grover hasn't had a screen
in almost three days,
301
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,367
and he hasn't broken a sweat.
302
00:13:14,368 --> 00:13:15,936
Three days, huh?
303
00:13:15,937 --> 00:13:18,238
Hmm. Well, then, why are
304
00:13:18,239 --> 00:13:20,974
Grover and I playing Words
with Friends right now?
305
00:13:22,977 --> 00:13:24,978
Unbelievable.
306
00:13:24,979 --> 00:13:27,727
I know. What kind of
freaky eight-year-old
307
00:13:27,728 --> 00:13:30,917
knows the word "cacophony"?
308
00:13:32,153 --> 00:13:34,254
Hey, Calvin's Pit Stop.
309
00:13:34,255 --> 00:13:36,056
We got free tune-ups.
310
00:13:36,057 --> 00:13:37,557
Well, kind of.
311
00:13:39,093 --> 00:13:41,328
Malcolm, what the hell, man?
312
00:13:41,329 --> 00:13:43,096
You've been out here, like, two hours
313
00:13:43,097 --> 00:13:45,565
and not a single new customer's
come into the shop.
314
00:13:45,566 --> 00:13:48,602
How is that my fault? Look,
nobody's paying attention.
315
00:13:48,603 --> 00:13:51,738
That's 'cause you're
spinning the sign wrong.
316
00:13:51,739 --> 00:13:53,640
Look, you need to put some stank on it.
317
00:13:54,811 --> 00:13:56,669
Pop, the sign is not the problem.
318
00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:57,894
If you want to help your business,
319
00:13:57,895 --> 00:13:59,079
you need to listen to Marty.
320
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:02,015
- Oh...
- And maybe apologize to him while you're at it.
321
00:14:02,016 --> 00:14:06,153
He needs to be apologizing
to me for messing up my shop.
322
00:14:06,154 --> 00:14:08,680
Now give me this. Let me
show you how to do this, man.
323
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,270
You got to get down with
it. See that? Look at that.
324
00:14:11,271 --> 00:14:12,671
Look at that... spin that. Whoo!
325
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:15,918
Look at that. Look at that.
326
00:14:15,919 --> 00:14:17,265
For example, see, check this out.
327
00:14:21,636 --> 00:14:24,061
Whoa! I killed it right there.
328
00:14:24,062 --> 00:14:25,705
Look at that. Back at it, back around.
329
00:14:25,706 --> 00:14:28,708
Up, up, you flip it, then
you, like, ride it. Like that.
330
00:14:28,709 --> 00:14:30,544
Look at that.
331
00:14:30,545 --> 00:14:31,936
I killed that. You like that?
332
00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:33,547
Check this out right here.
333
00:14:33,548 --> 00:14:34,781
Oh...
334
00:14:39,053 --> 00:14:40,887
You know what? On second
thought, maybe it's a good time
335
00:14:40,888 --> 00:14:42,656
- to talk to Marty.
- Yeah.
336
00:14:47,061 --> 00:14:48,395
Quick, Mom's home.
337
00:14:49,463 --> 00:14:50,730
Oh, what's that, bud?
338
00:14:50,731 --> 00:14:52,465
I'm the best dad of all time?
339
00:14:52,466 --> 00:14:54,034
Come here.
340
00:14:56,003 --> 00:14:58,905
Oh, hey, Gem, I didn't see you there.
341
00:14:58,906 --> 00:15:01,908
Hmm. You probably didn't hear
me come in with all the noise.
342
00:15:01,909 --> 00:15:04,811
Some might call it a cacophony.
343
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,515
I'll be upstairs.
344
00:15:10,718 --> 00:15:13,553
So, what'd you two do while I was gone?
345
00:15:13,554 --> 00:15:15,155
Well, all kinds of stuff.
346
00:15:15,156 --> 00:15:18,725
We built Legos, read
books, played board games.
347
00:15:18,726 --> 00:15:20,493
Really? Which ones?
348
00:15:20,494 --> 00:15:23,663
Sorry? Risk? Trouble?
349
00:15:24,832 --> 00:15:26,433
You know, all of them.
350
00:15:28,836 --> 00:15:29,870
What was that?
351
00:15:31,272 --> 00:15:35,075
It sounds like, uh, my toast is ready.
352
00:15:35,076 --> 00:15:38,177
Ooh, I could go for some toast right now.
353
00:15:38,178 --> 00:15:39,379
Ooh.
354
00:15:39,380 --> 00:15:43,083
Darn it. You know, I
forgot to put the bread in.
355
00:15:48,356 --> 00:15:51,858
Well, look at that. Grover was
playing Words with Tina.
356
00:15:53,060 --> 00:15:54,294
What?
357
00:15:56,898 --> 00:15:59,065
When did he... Huh.
358
00:15:59,066 --> 00:16:01,868
That little stinker.
359
00:16:01,869 --> 00:16:04,604
Dave, give it up. I know
you gave him screen time.
360
00:16:04,605 --> 00:16:06,072
Okay.
361
00:16:06,073 --> 00:16:07,941
You're right. Sorry.
362
00:16:07,942 --> 00:16:10,325
It's just that when you
said that I couldn't do it,
363
00:16:10,326 --> 00:16:11,645
it made me want to do it.
364
00:16:11,646 --> 00:16:14,814
And then when I was doing it,
I realized I couldn't do it.
365
00:16:17,051 --> 00:16:19,319
And your solution was to lie to me?
366
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,755
You made me feel like a terrible mom.
367
00:16:21,756 --> 00:16:24,391
You are not a terrible
mom. You're a great mom.
368
00:16:24,392 --> 00:16:25,959
Uh... You're the best mom.
369
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,728
Sometimes I wish you were my mom.
370
00:16:28,729 --> 00:16:31,097
Well, then, why didn't
you just tell me the truth?
371
00:16:31,098 --> 00:16:34,467
Well, because I was
disappointed with myself.
372
00:16:34,468 --> 00:16:38,972
And I really liked you thinking
that I was this amazing dad.
373
00:16:38,973 --> 00:16:42,242
You are an amazing dad.
374
00:16:42,243 --> 00:16:44,077
But parenting is hard.
375
00:16:44,078 --> 00:16:47,647
And us not being honest with
each other just makes it harder.
376
00:16:47,648 --> 00:16:50,150
I know. I'm sorry.
377
00:16:53,321 --> 00:16:54,743
But I think you're right.
378
00:16:54,744 --> 00:16:57,791
Grover probably does need
to spend less time on screens.
379
00:16:57,792 --> 00:17:00,260
Well, what do you think?
Like, an hour a day?
380
00:17:00,261 --> 00:17:01,928
That sounds about right.
381
00:17:01,929 --> 00:17:03,797
How about two?
382
00:17:05,199 --> 00:17:08,301
How about I put you
to bed at 3:00 again?
383
00:17:08,302 --> 00:17:11,004
I knew that wasn't daylight savings.
384
00:17:14,141 --> 00:17:16,343
Ha, ha! Nice try, aliens.
385
00:17:16,344 --> 00:17:18,812
You thought you were slick, but
there is a new Galactic Sheriff
386
00:17:18,813 --> 00:17:20,847
in town, and his name is... Oh!
387
00:17:20,848 --> 00:17:23,149
I died.
388
00:17:24,785 --> 00:17:27,053
Who is it?
389
00:17:27,054 --> 00:17:31,391
Hey, M-Marty, look, I
came by just to, uh...
390
00:17:31,392 --> 00:17:32,859
What are you doing?
391
00:17:32,860 --> 00:17:34,527
Playing a video game.
392
00:17:34,528 --> 00:17:40,033
Really? 'Cause you look like
Ray Charles trying to ski.
393
00:17:40,034 --> 00:17:42,469
Look, I get it. You think
technology is stupid.
394
00:17:42,470 --> 00:17:44,471
But I'm kind of in the
middle of something,
395
00:17:44,472 --> 00:17:47,240
so feel free to grab a
hard candy on your way out.
396
00:17:52,179 --> 00:17:53,380
Okay.
397
00:17:54,715 --> 00:17:56,583
Whoa.
398
00:17:56,584 --> 00:17:58,351
Dad? Is that you?
399
00:17:58,352 --> 00:18:02,255
What is all this stupid space crap?
400
00:18:02,256 --> 00:18:04,357
It's you.
401
00:18:04,358 --> 00:18:05,759
Hey, look, son...
402
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:07,994
Dad, if you want to talk,
you got to shoot some aliens.
403
00:18:07,995 --> 00:18:10,597
There's a button on
your right controller...
404
00:18:10,598 --> 00:18:12,321
Whoa, you really seem to know
405
00:18:12,322 --> 00:18:14,868
- what you're doing with that blaster.
- Of course I do.
406
00:18:14,869 --> 00:18:16,336
I'm from the streets, Marty.
407
00:18:17,571 --> 00:18:18,705
So, now what?
408
00:18:18,706 --> 00:18:20,006
Well, we want to take cover
409
00:18:20,007 --> 00:18:21,893
before more Kurblock drones find us.
410
00:18:21,894 --> 00:18:23,743
Follow me.
411
00:18:28,783 --> 00:18:31,885
So, son, about what
happened at the shop,
412
00:18:31,886 --> 00:18:33,920
I know you were only trying to help,
413
00:18:33,921 --> 00:18:37,724
but all your new technology
is too much change for me.
414
00:18:37,725 --> 00:18:39,359
Look out. Laser arrows!
415
00:18:42,263 --> 00:18:45,231
Damn, these Kurblocks don't play.
416
00:18:46,467 --> 00:18:48,935
Look, I know change is hard for you,
417
00:18:48,936 --> 00:18:50,696
but I've seen you do it plenty of times.
418
00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:52,972
First you resist, but once you buy in,
419
00:18:52,973 --> 00:18:55,408
- you wonder what took you so long.
- Like when?
420
00:18:55,409 --> 00:18:57,444
Like when you refused to
give up your flip phone.
421
00:18:57,445 --> 00:18:59,946
I loved that thing.
422
00:18:59,947 --> 00:19:04,451
When you slammed it shut, people
knew you hung up on their ass.
423
00:19:04,452 --> 00:19:06,886
Yeah, but when you finally
got your smartphone,
424
00:19:06,887 --> 00:19:08,855
you realized how much better it was.
425
00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:10,890
And how about when Mom
wanted to get a new mattress
426
00:19:10,891 --> 00:19:12,459
but you didn't want memory foam?
427
00:19:12,460 --> 00:19:14,227
I didn't like the idea of my bed
428
00:19:14,228 --> 00:19:17,063
remembering what I did
in it the night before.
429
00:19:17,064 --> 00:19:20,166
Yeah, but what happened that
first night you slept on it?
430
00:19:20,167 --> 00:19:21,835
It was great.
431
00:19:21,836 --> 00:19:25,839
I slept so hard my left arm
didn't wake up for a week.
432
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:27,407
Exactly. I'm telling you,
433
00:19:27,408 --> 00:19:29,109
if you give this new system a chance,
434
00:19:29,110 --> 00:19:31,277
you're gonna pick it up
faster than you think.
435
00:19:31,278 --> 00:19:32,645
Maybe you're right.
436
00:19:32,646 --> 00:19:36,649
I am one of the smartest people I know.
437
00:19:36,650 --> 00:19:40,320
See? No one believes
in you more than you.
438
00:19:40,321 --> 00:19:42,922
Thanks, son. Come on.
439
00:19:42,923 --> 00:19:44,791
Bring it in.
440
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:50,452
Oh, Dad, look out!
441
00:19:52,313 --> 00:19:53,870
Kurblock, please.
442
00:19:53,871 --> 00:19:55,839
Whoo!
443
00:19:57,609 --> 00:20:00,835
And that's why, in the year
3215, the Galactic Assembly
444
00:20:00,836 --> 00:20:02,972
exiled the Vortulons from
the Andromeda Compact.
445
00:20:02,973 --> 00:20:06,359
Although, there were
some economic factors
446
00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:08,661
- that played into...
- Marty.
447
00:20:08,662 --> 00:20:11,097
What part of "the
streets" don't you get?
448
00:20:11,098 --> 00:20:14,467
I'm just here to blast these fools.
449
00:20:14,468 --> 00:20:16,002
Oh, hey, guys.
450
00:20:17,838 --> 00:20:20,473
Dave? Are you in Marty's apartment, too?
451
00:20:20,474 --> 00:20:22,475
No, I'm at Best Buy.
452
00:20:22,476 --> 00:20:25,511
Now that I'm back on screens,
I'm checking out VR headsets.
453
00:20:25,512 --> 00:20:27,981
Wait your turn, kid.
454
00:20:29,123 --> 00:20:30,423
Well, since you're here,
455
00:20:30,424 --> 00:20:32,292
you want to help us
take out some aliens?
456
00:20:32,293 --> 00:20:34,060
Actually, I came for a new vacuum.
457
00:20:34,061 --> 00:20:36,263
What do you guys think?
Do I go modern upright
458
00:20:36,264 --> 00:20:37,964
or classic canister?
459
00:20:37,965 --> 00:20:41,935
Or, and I'm just playing
devil's advocate here, Roomba?
460
00:20:41,936 --> 00:20:45,205
Dave, watch out! Incoming!
461
00:20:45,206 --> 00:20:46,773
I don't see anybody.
462
00:20:46,774 --> 00:20:48,108
I was talking about me.
463
00:20:52,873 --> 00:20:56,709
Watch the Fall Finale of Modern
Family, Wednesday on Global.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
34065
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof