All language subtitles for Mind Your Language - S02 - E08 - After Three

Enter! Enter

Did you say enter?

Did you ever think of getting
a hearing aid Sidney?

I beg your pardon.

Oh never mind

I brought the stock
room key back.

Oh, thank you. Don't forget it is
the school concert this week.

Pardon.

The school concert.

Oh, I'll get all ready.

Good. I wonder what Mr.
Brown's class is going to do.

Did he mention anything to you?

Oh no, he didn't. No, no.
As a matter of fact

I don't think anyone
will do anything.

That's non sense. Every class is
expected to put on some sort of show.

But you tell Mr. Brown to come
and see me at tea break.

Pardon?

Tea break

Oh, is it? I can do it.
See you.

I would like your presence
everyone. As you can

recall when last we met,
I gave you each

for your homework a different
task to do over the weekend.

Hope you have all done them.

Yes.

Good. I want you each in turn to
stand up and give me a report

on your various activities,
alright? Now who'd like to begin?

Me

We'll start at the back,
shell we? With you Jamila.

Your homework was a visit
to the cinema.

Would you like to tell us
about the film you saw?

It was about the most beautiful top
class Indian girl who is fell in love

with boy from bottom class.

Lower class.

But girl's father said
no get married.

So they ran away.

But father catched them and chopped
off boy's legs. Later, father died.

One day, girl see a beggar
man in the street.

Oh, it is her sweet heart! She cried.
No legs, no matter! You be marry me.

Okay, he say.

I will go and be make
myself look nice.

With no legs?

So he go. Girl, she cries and
run after him, and

then a big motor car hit
her and kill her.

It was most miserable film
and I enjoyed it very much.

Good, well done Jamila,
very good. Taro?

Your homework was a visit to
London Zoo. Tell us about it.

I arrive at London Zoo.

No, no Taro, no. London Zoo.
Start again.

London Zoo. There are no os.

Oh, yes please. There are
two Os in London and two Os

in Zoo.

That's absolutely correct Ali, but I'm
refering to the ends of the words

alright? Now carry on Taro, but
do try and get out of the habit

of ending everyother word in O

I try.

Went first to see buffal.

Bufful?

Like a big bull.

Oh, a buffalo.

Taro confusedo.

Words that end in O like buffalo or
radio or vertigo, you pronounce the o.

But where there's no o, you don't
have one, do you understand?

Yeso!

I give up. Alright Taro, thank you.

Now Ali!

Yes please.

I asked you to read one of
Shakespeare's plays.

Were you able to do that?

Most definitely. I'm reading
about Sherlock.

You mean Shaylock.

Yes please.
The Merchant of Venice.

Oh, good. Carry on.

First of all, there is a lady Porta.

Her name was Portia.

Yes please. Now a man called Bassanio
is fancying this lady Porta, Portia.

But he's broken.

Broken what?

Stony broken, no money.

You mean broke. Carry on.

So he's going to see his
friend Antonio. And saying,

"oh please be lending me
3.000 buckets. "

Duckets.

Sorry please. But Antonio
was also broken

so he's going to shaylock
the money lending man

and asking him to lend him
the money.

Shaylock is agreed.
But on one condition!

If in three months time he
is not paying him back

the money, then Shaylock could cut
off one pound of Antonio's fleshy.

Why is he wanting a pound
of human flesh?

Might be one of them is
cannon balls.

Cannibals.

Oh no, he is doing the because
he is not liking Antonio.

Anyway, Antonio is in a bigger
trouble. He wrecked all his chips.

Ships.

Ships. And he is not being able to
pay back the money. Now Shaylock is

wanting his pound of flesh.
But Lady Portia is pretending

to be lawyer man. And she
saying, "Agreement was for one pound

of flesh and no drop of blood. "

Sheylock has had it.

How can he had it when he
is not getting it?

You damn fool, you are not
understanding the queen's English.

I know the queen is English.
You think I'm stupid?

Most definitely.

You two sit down. Thank you Ali,
very well done.

Right. Now Su lee,

your task was a visit to
Petticoat lane.

Petticoat lane very disappointing.

Why was that?

Not see one Petticoat.

Look, don't you find market
places interesting?

Market places full of capitalistic
traders selling merchandizes

to ignorant walking people in very
high prices. General Mao Says...

Don't mind what general Mao says,
thank you Su lee. Well done.

Ranjeet, your task was a
visit to High Gate Cemetry.

And I am finding it very
interesting.

Good, then tell us all about it.

Firstly, I'm seeing the
burying place of Carl Marx.

Ah, yes, the father of Communism.

But I'm not understanding
which one he was.

I'm sorry I didn't understand.

Was he Chico, Harpo, or Groucho?

Carl Marx was not one of the
Marx's brothers.

Thousands apologies.

What else did you see?

I'm seeing many beautiful
grey stones.

Graves stones.

That is correct. And some of
them have written

on them beautiful words.
I'm writing one down.

You are gone my dearest
wife. Still I feel no pain

for I know at heaven's gate
we will meet again.

What's the matter Giovanni?

I can't help it professor.
It is so sad.

That poor husband, he was in love
with his wife very much

Don't be sad! Husband is
be very happy.

How do you know?

He dying the year after.

Oh, thanks goodness.
I'm so happy for him.

And they are both being
football fans.

How on earth do you know that?

He is having put on his stone:
United forever.

That's meant Ranjeet he's being
reunited with his wife in heaven.

Thousands apologies.

Yes, well thank you,
well done. Good.

Right! Giovanni have you
recovered sufficiently

to tell us about you visit
to speakers' corner?

Okay dockey. First, I taken the
tube to Hyde Park.

Then for an hour, nothing.

What do you mean nothing?

Nobody was there.

What? Ten o'clock on a
Sunday morning?

That's right.

That's strange. There's always people
at speaker's corner every weekend.

I asked a police man why
is there nobody here?

And I find out why there
is nobody there.

Why was it that there
was nobody there?

I was at the wrong corner.

Silence. Carry on Giovanni.

Excuse me Mr. Brown.

Oh yes Mrs. Courtney.

What have you done
about the concert?

Pardon?

Is everybody at the
school going deaf?

I want to know what you have
done about the concert?

Concert?

There has been a notice on the
board for the past two weeks.

You haven't read it?

Mr. Brown has read it. He was discussing
it with us before you came in.

Yes.

Yes, I was!

Good. Then what are
you going to do?

Well, I expect them all to be there.

Gentlemen I hope you will be there, but
what I want to know is what your students'

contribution will be.

Contribution?

Perform?

Perdón, señora. It's going
to be a surprise.

But I don't like surprises.

I want to be quite sure what they're
going to do would be acceptable.

So I suggest that after
tea break you and

your class can give me a
preview of the intended

We helped you out
pretty good, huh?

Yes, but not for very long.

Por favor!

We still have to think of something to do
for this concert in less than half an hour.

Yes, you're right. With your
brain, and our talent,

no problem!

To me!

To me!

No, over here!

Not you, me!

Right.

Okay.

I brought you a nice cup
of tea Mr. Brown.

Oh, thank you Gladis.

There!

Thank you!

What are they all going to
do for the Concert tonight?

The show thing that they are
practicing outside now.

Oh, would you like me to do a bit.

A bit of what?

Singing. I was in the choir.

Jerusalem. Jerusalem, lift
up your voice and sing!

Turn it up Gladis! You're
girgling in the milk.

Don't you be so jealous Sid!

Do you like my voice Mr. Brown?

I think it's remarkable.

Thank you.

I could do your turn if you like.

You, Sid?

Yeah, watch this!

Oh, that's cool!
Alright, come on! Let's start.

Alright Mr. Brown!

Alright!

Alright, come along everybody.
Good, good.

Jamila, what are you doing?

Ah, good. Yes, good!
Come along every body.

Miss Courtney
will be here any minute.

I'm here now Mr. Brown!

Good, would you like to sit
there Miss Courtney?

Thank you. I do hope
I'm going to enjoy this.

So do I.

I wouldn't like to be embarassed
in front of our distinguished guests.

No, no. What distinguished guests?

Quite a few members of the
educational authority always

come to see our concerts.

I don't want a repitition of
what happened last year.

What happened?

Mr. Jarvis's wood work
students were quite awful.

They sang rugby songs out of tune.
Mr. Jarvis still hasn't found

another job.

How comforting. Would you all come
out here when I introduce you?

I have a kind of program.

I shall stop you if there's
anything I don't like.

Right. Good evening ladies
and gentlemen.

Stop.

What's the matter?

This concert takes place
in the afternoon.

Stop!

Now what was wrong with that?

Mr. Brown, by the time you and
your class come out, the audience

will have been sitting on those hard
chairs for one and a half hours.

I wouldn't mention anything
about comfort if I were you.

Ah, right. Good afternoon ladies
and gentlemen. The English as

a foreign language class is proud to present
a pot pourri of music and laughter.

And to start us off, we have
from Hungary "Zoltan Szabo".

Good evening everybody.

Good afternoon!

Ah, good afternoon!
Hungarian magic!

Hungarian paper!

Second Hungarian magic.

Stop.

Don't you want to see
Hungarian magic.

You don't think I even want
first Hungarian magic.

Never mind Zoltan. That's very
good. Sit down. Yes, alright.

And now from Italy, the
irrepressible, Giovanni Cupello.

Grazie. For you, I'm gonna
do some impersonations.

Okay, here we go!

Hey, you wanna a nice piece of salame?
I've got a lovely piece for you.

And who is that supposed to be?

That's my butcher Antonio.

We have never heard
of your butcher.

Maybe not, but if you had,
it's very much like him.

Can you do and impressions
of and well-know people?

Sure, I can. Jimmy Cagney.
In a scene from the film

"Disaster on the fifth Avenue"

You dirty rat. Oh, you dirty,
dirty rat! I'm going to fix you.

I haven't finished yet.

Well, Mr. Cagney sounds
remarkable like you butcher.

And now from France,
the delightful, Danielle.

Thank you!

Do you know any of the
words Danielle?

I do not sing the words,
I just dance to the music.

And what is all this "off" business?

That is when I'm taking
off my clothes.

We can't have that sort of
thing going on.

It is not going on,
it is coming off.

Not in my school!

Yeah, well, thank you Danielle!
Well-done Jolly good!

And now, from the mysterious east,
we have to sing for you Taro Nagazumi.

I sing for you a traditional Japanese
song calledo a "Warrior's Lamento. "

Stop.

Why you tell me 'stopo'?

Because it was awful.

I thought it had a certain style!

Yeah, sickening.

Sorry, you no liko my song.

And now from Germany, will you
welcome with her animal impressions

Anna Schmidt.

Danke, I would like you to com to
visit me on a walk in the black forest.

First, we meet a farmer and
his dog. Wouf! Wouf!

The dog is chasing the sheep,
baa baa, and the cows, moo moo.

Here comes a man
on his horse, neigh neigh.

No, no Anna.

No, neigh, neigh.

You are supposed to do the
actuel sounds like...

I can't do that.
It hurts my throat.

Thank you for trying. Anyway,
jolly good! Well-done.

And now from China with
something peculiarly Chinese,

will you welcome
miss Chin Su Lee?

Chairman Mao he say,
in the conditions of remaining

China today, the contradictions among
the peasantry and the...

Stop. This is supposed to be
a school concert not a party

not a political broadcast.

Can't you sing or anything?

I can sing songs of revolution.

Right, and now
it's time for a little comedy

From Ali Nadim and Ranjeet Singh.

There's a little yellow island
at the north of Katmandu.

I am saying, I am saying,
I am saying.

Yes, please.

Why is a rhinoceros being
like an elephant?

Why is a rhinoceros is like
being an elephant?

Cause neither of them can
ride a bicycle.

I wasn't able to know that.
Please be leaving The stage.

There's a little yellow island
to the north of Katmandu.

I am saying, I am saying,
I am saying...

Stop!

You are not liking us?

No.

What did you expect?
More common ways?

If you're wanting, we can
be doing more common ways.

I could be the fat short
one with the hairy legs.

And I can be the one
with the glasses.

We'll discuss it later.
Thank you. Very good,

Our next student to entertain you with
a little culture is Jamila Ranjha.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am tell
you beautiful English poetries

by Thomas Grey.
Ellijah written in country

Elegy

Sorry Master.

...And leaves the world to
darkness and to me!

Incredible.

I'll work on her pronunciation.
Thank you Jamila. And now

From Spain to entertain
you comes Juan Cervantes.

Mr. Brown he tells you I am from
Spain. That's surprise, isn't?

When I speak, I have
no accent at all.

In Spain one times, I was
going to be the bull-fighter,

so one Sunday afternoon, I go to the
bull-fight and they put me in the bullring.

The bull comes out. I look at the bull
and the bull, he look at me.

He look at me, and I look at the bull.
The bull was better looking than me.

Why you no laugh?

It's alright. So I not become the bull fighter
because I don't kill pretty bulls.

Good, huh?

You never saw me dance
the flamenco.

I do it very good.

Alright, and finally to complete
our contribution,

Greece and Sweeden combine. Maximillian
Papandrious and Ingrid Svenson.

And now my beautiful assistant
and I are going to do some giggling.

Juggling.

All we need is a little practice.

We can't afford the plates.

Well-done.
Sit down both of you.

Well Mr. Brown, I think we
can cancel all this off.

Oh, please Miss Courtney,
the students would be so disappointed.

I mean we still have three days.
Just give us a chance.

Alright, very well. But
remember this Mr. Brown!

Good jobs are hard to find!

Thank you, "the weight watchers. "

And now Ladies and gentlemen,
hail Jeremy Brown

and his United Nations.

Thank you!