Original subtitles

My fiancé has great taste.

And to show him my appreciation, I plan on giving him a ring of his own

tomorrow.

Lucky guy.

Uh -oh.

You're not getting cold feet, are you?

No.

I'm just, you know, wondering if you, Lauren Winner, are really prepared to

become Mrs.

Derek Barnes.

Mr. Barnes, it would be my pleasure.

How you doing?

Good to see you.

Well, I can see you guys have made yourself at home.

No, we're just hanging out, Carly.

Good. Then you won't mind if I steal your fiancé for a little spa time. I've

booked us an appointment, and I can see you're already dressed for it.

You girls go get pampered while Derek and I toast the end of his bachelorhood.

Don't believe a word he says.

Have I ever?

Hold this for me. I'll need it when I get back from the sauna.

You guys have fun.

You too.

Does that mean that the engagement's off?

You're just jealous.

We'll have you proposing to Carly by the time the weekend's up. That'll be the

day. You boys behave yourselves.

Okay.

I'm going to get changed.

It's so nice to finally relax.

Relax? Are you completely excited about the wedding tomorrow?

Excited and really nervous.

There's so many people coming in from out of town for the wedding.

It's really overwhelming.

Just think of it as one big party.

The biggest, most expensive, significant, emotionally charged party

life. You're not helping.

I'm just kidding, Lauren.

Like, it might help if you had a sense of humor about this.

I know, but it's not easy.

I was reading in one of those wedding magazines about couples that were so

exhausted after their wedding night, they didn't even have sex.

Don't believe that.

Remember our friends, Dolores and Ralph?

You could have bought a house with what our parents spent on this wedding. And

even so, Dolores said the best part was what happened on the wedding night.

Once they were finally alone in their honeymoon suite, she and Ralph reenacted

their ceremony just for themselves.

Except they didn't stop with you may now kiss the bride.

my eyes

She said that it was the best sex she ever had.

Ralph swears it was the worst sex ever.

No kidding. I thought they just got married.

Yeah, but I talked to Ralph about a month later and he was miserable.

What happened?

He wasn't sure.

One night they were having sex and everything was going great.

Until suddenly it wasn't.

Dolores.

Ralph.

Ralph.

Ralph.

What are you doing?

I'm making love to you.

Well, did you ever find out what turned her off?

Nope. Sex between them just fizzled out.

That would never happen with me and Lauren. She's great in bed.

Funny. Ralph said the same thing to me once.

Look, I appreciate your concern.

I got it handled.

Well, at least Derek isn't one of those guys that thinks he has everything

handled. The guy I was dating before Derek was like that. What a total bore.

That's too bad. My girlfriend Amanda actually married a guy like that.

That feels good.

You know, you'd think these people would get those things figured out before

they got married.

You know, Amanda said that Jerry was really sweet and romantic at first.

But after they got married, things changed in the bedroom.

Yes, Amanda started to blame herself.

She thought that maybe she was going frigid or something.

You're kidding.

Why is it that when sex gets boring, it's always the woman's fault?

That's never been a problem with us.

woman's problem of course they just get bored it's definitely not an issue with

lauren and i not yet it isn't but you remember carly's friend amanda right

a couple of months after she got hitched she tells carly she's become frigid in

bed so carly tells her about this sex club where you can watch other people

having sex they're kidding it's for women only apparently it's supposed to

quite educational

So Amanda goes, and there's this incredible -looking chick named Xena

with some guy.

Amanda's behind this two -way mirror so she won't disturb them, and she watches

this guy start playing with some ice cubes.

Talk about frigid. No doubt.

What, did Amanda go home and try to tough out on her husband or what?

Are you kidding?

Frigid Amanda got so hot she wanted more.

So guess who she invited over for some private tutoring?

Xena?

Tease him.

Make him crave you.

Nothing like a little girl -girl action to take a woman's mind off her marriage

troubles.

for a chick she left her husband for another man you're kidding nope she

one of those hit gems as a co -ed locker she hooked up with a personal trainer

chat

That's it?

What about her husband?

Well, after Amanda got her confidence back sexually, Joe didn't stand a

The party was pretty much over.

And what a party it was.

Chuck's bachelor party had to be the most outrageous one I've ever been to.

Thank you.

Well, besides the harem girls, it sounds like every other bachelor party I've

been to.

Did I mention the groom getting blown in the back room?

Or the lessee pretzel?

Lessee pretzel?

Chuck slipped off with his chosen harem girl.

Meanwhile the rest of us were treated to a two -for -one special

So it's all about that.

Do that without breaking a bone.

Kind of makes you regret not having that bachelor party after all.

Especially considering the fact that Lauren's going to be the last woman you

sleep with.

Till death do you part.

Till death do us part.

Contemplating suicide?

No, silly.

I was just thinking about how Derek's going to be the last man I ever sleep

with.

Remember Mary from accounting?

Well, she also thought that she would be the last woman her husband ever slept

with.

Uh -oh. What happened?

I'm not sure, but from what Mary told me, it sounded pretty kinky.

Now for something a little new and different.

Bill. Hold on. Give me a second.

I don't want to do that.

That's it?

He wanted to try something new and she didn't?

You think they could easily talk that one out?

You'd think. But I guess some guys are less talkative than others.

Hey. You okay?

Yeah. So what happened?

Well, I guess Bill had his own plans for working things out.

Bill's way to work things out was to hook up with this hot blonde on the

So basically, he cheats on his wife.

Exactly.

If he can't get kinky with the one he loves, he'll get kinky with the one he's

with. A pro -name Vanessa, as I recall.

Take your time.

She took half of his stuff.

Now he's on his own again.

Why are you telling me this, Rob?

What do you mean?

If I didn't know you any better, I... I think you're probably trying to talk me

out of marrying Lauren.

Come on, Derek.

Lauren's a great girl.

It's just that... Well, marriage is a serious step.

Well, I really got to go check on Carly.

But let's meet down by the pool later for some real drinks. Okay. All right.

Is everything fine?

Oh, I'm great.

You know what? I promised Bob that I would make dinner reservations, and I

completely forgot.

It's okay. You're probably right. I should get back to Derek.

So you want to meet later for a drink?

Yeah, sure.

Do you miss me?

Oh, are you kidding me?

With all the stuff that we were talking about today, I was so turned on. Thought

I'd explode.

Yeah, me both.

Where have you been?

Oh, it's nice to see you, too.

Sorry, I just came back to the room and it was empty.

I missed you.

Yeah, I went down to the pool to think.

Is that Scott helping you think?

What the hell are we doing here, Lauren?

You mean, what the hell are you doing?

Marrying me?

No, it's not.

Yes. No.

Okay, now I'm all confused here.

Well, let me see if I can guess.

You just realized that I'm the last woman you will ever have sex with for

rest of your life.

And you're freaking out.

Wouldn't you?

No, actually.

I'm more worried that one day I'm going to come home and not be in the mood or

not want to do something new. Or maybe I'll just get bored with our sex life.

And then you'll leave me for someone else without trying to work it out

So why don't I just give you some of that time to think you were looking for

earlier?

So what was this conversation about that you two girls had that got you so hot?

We were just talking about sex, you know.

Topic of the day, I guess.

Really? So what does sex talk like between you guys?

I don't know. I was just telling Derek about some married couples I know. About

Marty and the bachelor party and about Bill and the hooker.

You didn't.

Rob, that is a horrible story to tell.

What do you mean? Bill told me that sex was hot.

Yeah, and Bill and Mary are divorced.

You don't tell a guy that's about to get married a story like that.

I mean, especially after the conversation that I had with Lauren.

Just what did you two talk about, Carly?

Nothing, really. I was just trying to get her excited about getting married.

I mentioned Dolores and Ralph and Joe and Amanda and Bill and Mary.

Oh, honey, you didn't.

Those are examples of failing couples.

Well, not at first. I mean, they didn't start having problems until... After

they got married.

Oh, God.

What did we do?

Where are you going?

I'm going to go make sure that Lauren's okay. I mean, the last thing that she

needs is us planning crazy ideas on our heads.

Oh, come on. Those stories weren't that bad. Are you kidding?

When Mary told me about Bill, I was ready to break it with you just to avoid

future heartbreak.

I better go talk to Derek.

Did I forget your key?

You look like hell.

Um, where's Lauren?

She left.

What do you mean she left?

We had a fight.

And she's giving me time to think. What were you guys fighting about?

I'm not so sure I can make this commitment.

Are you kidding me?

Lauren is the love of your life.

You've told us all that. She is, but...

But nothing. You know, I really think that you let the stories that Rob told

about our unfaithful friends get to you.

Not everyone is like that.

Well, it sure seems like they are.

Have I ever told you about our friends Raina and Vinny?

Well, they've been married for five years.

I was bitching to Raina about this dry spell that me and Rob had.

So she told me what a normal night was like between her and Vinny.

They were beat after a solid month of working.

And deadlines.

And we're looking forward to a really romantic vacation.

But she told me when Vinny hit the bed, that was it. No more rushing. And she

didn't mind that at all.

Vinny.

And that was just the beginning.

Raina told me their vacation was like a second honeymoon.

Well, we'll just have to see if I even get to the first one.

Working on that honeymoon tan already?

There isn't going to be a honeymoon.

Carly thought you guys might be fighting.

How'd she know?

Well, I told Derek some stories of some of my more philandering friends.

Carly thinks I scared him.

Yeah, well, he's one to talk.

I don't know if I can go through with this, Rob.

Of course you can. You love Derek, don't you?

Absolutely. More than anything.

I'm just afraid that one day we're going to get bored with each other and he's

going to go looking for someone else.

There's plenty of ways to keep sex interesting.

Yeah. With whips?

Sure, if that's your thing.

But personally, I prefer a less dramatic approach.

Like this one couple I know who make it a point to try something a little

different each time just to keep the sex alive.

Not yet.

I don't think I can wait.

You have something to do first.

It's the little things in the relationship that keep things spicy.

You don't have to go all out with the S &M getup just to keep the sex hot.

Somehow I doubt Derek would agree.

I think you would agree that it doesn't take much to keep you interested in sex,

right? Right, especially with Lauren.

So even if you guys just go down on each other, it's still great sex.

Yeah, whatever Lauren's into, it's great sex.

So just surprise her every once in a while.

Treat her to some good oral.

I promise you she'll be into it.

Forget and, of course, then just work on pleasing her.

It's like this couple I know, Dennis and Janet.

He cannot get enough of his tasty wife.

And Lauren enjoys it, right?

She loves it. Makes me love it, too. Well, good. Keep doing those things. It

only get better.

But sex with Derek is already incredible.

How can it get any better?

You already know the answer to that.

I do?

Great sex gets better with romance.

I thought that was only a chick thing.

No way.

Guys love it, too.

It's what makes us think about you all day and anticipate diving into bed with

you at night.

I know this one married couple, they've been together for years, but they still

make dates just to be alone together.

In fact, one of their favorite places to go is that fancy hotel downtown.

Bye. Bye.

Bye.

Together we will pull each other through.

We'll pass the test of time.

You know we gotta try.

Well, here we are together again.

You're holding me once more.

No matter what tomorrow will bring, my love is just to thrive.

Keep the romance alive, and your relationship stays solid.

Derek is a very romantic guy.

That's not the problem.

Problem is, is what if one person gets tired of the other person?

Have you guys ever acted out fantasies?

No.

You don't know what you're missing. My friends Amanda and Cole, they've been

married for a couple years.

Every now and then, they'll go to a bar and pick up each other like they've

never even met.

Then they rush home to act out their latest fantasies.

What is it?

What's going on?

It's my husband.

He may hear you.

Is he your husband now?

Yeah.

He's right next door.

If he knew you were here, he would kill us both.

You'd be very jealous if you knew how well you fucked me.

I miss him. The only way I can come is to pretend it's you.

I wish that I could find some way to change the rules of love

forever.

Do you know what you made me go through?

Do you realize the pain I've felt?

Just when I thought you'd throw it all away, you had to change your heart.

You couldn't see his heart.

I love you.

When things are not right, together

we will pull each other through.

We'll pass the test of time.

You know we gotta try.

Don't these people freak out when they pretend they're married to other people?

No way.

If anything, it satisfies the curiosity.

But with their own spouse.

It's the safest way I know to cheat.

I don't think Lauren would be into that.

Have you asked her?

Have you asked Derek about any of his fantasies?

Not really. He's pretty private about that stuff.

The one thing I do know is he used to go to strip clubs before we met.

So have you ever considered stripping for him?

I'd be way too embarrassed.

To strip for the man that you're going to marry? Give me a break.

If you're that self -conscious, take classes.

A friend of Carly's did.

Some sort of stripper aerobics. And she swears that the exercise is great.

And her sex life with her husband has been awesome ever since.

Hey. Hey.

How about some homework?

Absolutely.

The key to great sex is imagination and a passion to keep the sex great.

Thanks, Rob.

You've really inspired me. I'm going to go find my fiancé, if I can still call

him that.

We have some things we need to discuss.

She's still mad at me?

Why don't you find out for yourself?

Listen, I'm really sorry.

It's okay. I shouldn't have said those things to you.

You're probably right. I was kind of freaked out a little bit.

We both did.

But you mean more to me than anything.

I'll never let you go. Not that easily.

Well, I intend on marrying you tomorrow.

And I intend on staying married to you forever.

Hey. Did you talk to Lauren?

Yes, I did.

And your husband's a damn genius.

Husband? Wait a minute.

Is there something I should know?

Well, I was wondering.

Well, I was thinking maybe you and I should... Oh, yes, yes, definitely, yes,

yes.

I think you need to ask me something first.

What?

Lauren Winter.

Be my wife?

Be my pleasure to be Mrs. Barnes.

It's a beautiful ring.

I know. The love of my life has exquisite taste.

I've been meaning to give him something in return.

Sit right here.

And don't laugh.

Okay.

Thank you.