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1
00:00:00,689 --> 00:00:03,974
"Hot in Cleveland" is recorded
in front of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,626 --> 00:00:06,160
Why am I getting
my picture taken?
3
00:00:06,312 --> 00:00:09,264
Well, it seems I've become
a bit of a local celebrity.
4
00:00:10,037 --> 00:00:12,538
We're getting
an engagement portrait.
5
00:00:12,673 --> 00:00:16,709
My driver's license expired.
6
00:00:16,844 --> 00:00:21,013
I'm doing a nude calendar
for charity.
7
00:00:25,219 --> 00:00:27,186
What do you mean,
you're doing a nude calendar
8
00:00:27,271 --> 00:00:29,271
for charity?
9
00:00:29,390 --> 00:00:31,056
First, we thought
of a bake sale.
10
00:00:31,142 --> 00:00:34,026
Good idea.
Do that.
11
00:00:34,111 --> 00:00:38,731
And then, we started
doing Jell-O shots.
12
00:00:38,816 --> 00:00:40,950
When I saw the jiggle
in my glass,
13
00:00:41,068 --> 00:00:44,236
I came up with the idea.
14
00:00:44,322 --> 00:00:46,488
But can't you just cancel?
15
00:00:46,574 --> 00:00:48,123
You're the only ones
who know about it.
16
00:00:48,242 --> 00:00:51,744
Turn to page three.
17
00:00:51,829 --> 00:00:54,413
The mayor has agreed
to do a nude calendar
18
00:00:54,548 --> 00:00:56,966
to raise money for
the Cleveland animal shelter.
19
00:00:57,084 --> 00:00:58,217
It's in the papers?
20
00:00:58,302 --> 00:01:01,887
I drunk-dialed that in.
21
00:01:03,758 --> 00:01:05,808
Guess who just got
asked for their celebrity photo,
22
00:01:05,926 --> 00:01:06,926
and it's not Victoria.
23
00:01:06,927 --> 00:01:08,477
Is it you, Melanie?
24
00:01:08,596 --> 00:01:10,262
Yes!
25
00:01:10,348 --> 00:01:11,764
Because of my radio show,
26
00:01:11,899 --> 00:01:13,299
the dry cleaners
asked for my photo.
27
00:01:13,317 --> 00:01:15,684
Ah, the first time
the dry cleaner
28
00:01:15,770 --> 00:01:18,937
asks for your head shot—
I remember it well.
29
00:01:19,073 --> 00:01:22,274
I was between David Hasselhoff
and Henry Winkler,
30
00:01:22,410 --> 00:01:26,779
and ironically, a year later,
I was between them again.
31
00:01:26,914 --> 00:01:27,914
Oh, my God.
32
00:01:27,948 --> 00:01:28,948
What's wrong?
33
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,783
Oh, that stupid Ohio DMV!
34
00:01:30,918 --> 00:01:32,284
I went in to renew my license,
35
00:01:32,420 --> 00:01:34,620
and they sent it back to me
with someone else's picture.
36
00:01:34,672 --> 00:01:38,007
Look at that ugly, old woman.
37
00:01:38,125 --> 00:01:39,842
Victoria, honey, that's you.
38
00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:41,126
What?
39
00:01:44,181 --> 00:01:48,017
I told them I required
the celebrity Photoshop package,
40
00:01:48,135 --> 00:01:51,603
you know, like they have
at the Beverly Hills DMV.
41
00:01:51,689 --> 00:01:53,972
When I gave that greeter
outside $100,
42
00:01:54,058 --> 00:01:55,218
he said he'd take care of it.
43
00:01:55,309 --> 00:01:58,811
They don't have
a greeter at the DMV.
44
00:01:58,946 --> 00:02:03,399
That's what the sign said
on his shopping cart.
45
00:02:03,484 --> 00:02:05,401
Bob and I found
a fantastic photographer
46
00:02:05,486 --> 00:02:06,652
for our engagement photo.
47
00:02:06,737 --> 00:02:07,653
He could take your picture.
48
00:02:07,738 --> 00:02:08,987
Oh, that'd be great.
49
00:02:09,073 --> 00:02:10,239
Now, and then I could take
50
00:02:10,324 --> 00:02:13,042
my own professionally done
head shot to the DMV.
51
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,377
And he could take shots
for our thing.
52
00:02:15,496 --> 00:02:16,628
What thing?
53
00:02:16,714 --> 00:02:20,049
We're posing nude
for the animals.
54
00:02:24,004 --> 00:02:26,672
Well, as long
as people don't have to see it.
55
00:02:31,429 --> 00:02:33,512
♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba ♪
Sync by Alice | www.addic7ed.com
56
00:02:33,513 --> 00:02:33,646
Sync by Alice | www.addic7ed.com
57
00:02:33,647 --> 00:02:36,682
♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba ♪
Sync by Alice | www.addic7ed.com
58
00:02:36,817 --> 00:02:38,984
♪ Hey! ♪
59
00:02:43,941 --> 00:02:46,609
Stop making comedy faces.
60
00:02:46,694 --> 00:02:48,077
This is our engagement photo.
61
00:02:48,162 --> 00:02:50,446
Can't you just smile and think
about how happy you are?
62
00:02:50,531 --> 00:02:51,947
I'm sorry, Joy.
63
00:02:52,033 --> 00:02:54,917
It's just, when I think about
how I really feel, you know—
64
00:02:55,002 --> 00:02:57,336
about a guy like me getting
to marry a girl like you,
65
00:02:57,455 --> 00:02:58,671
well, I just—
66
00:02:58,789 --> 00:03:02,341
I can't believe how—
how lucky I am.
67
00:03:02,460 --> 00:03:04,677
I need a minute.
68
00:03:04,795 --> 00:03:07,096
Aw, that's so sweet.
69
00:03:07,181 --> 00:03:08,297
It is.
70
00:03:08,432 --> 00:03:10,883
I know it's surprising—
his sensitive side,
71
00:03:10,968 --> 00:03:14,687
seeing how tough and macho
he is on the outside.
72
00:03:15,773 --> 00:03:18,140
We're talking about Bob, right?
73
00:03:18,276 --> 00:03:21,810
Of course.
I'll go check on him.
74
00:03:21,946 --> 00:03:23,479
While we're waiting, do you want
to start on yours, Melanie?
75
00:03:23,614 --> 00:03:25,481
Oh, yeah, sure.
It's a little chilly in here.
76
00:03:25,616 --> 00:03:27,616
I'm just gonna put this shawl
around me while you set up.
77
00:03:27,702 --> 00:03:29,485
- Okay.
- You know, it's weird.
78
00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:31,654
I haven't had
a studio portrait taken
79
00:03:31,789 --> 00:03:34,123
without my husband or my kids.
80
00:03:34,208 --> 00:03:35,991
But I'm single now,
and that's okay.
81
00:03:36,077 --> 00:03:38,244
It just feels like
there should be something
82
00:03:38,329 --> 00:03:39,329
here next to me.
83
00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:42,164
Well, hi, you.
84
00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:43,832
What a sweet little kitty
you are.
85
00:03:43,918 --> 00:03:46,335
What is your name?
86
00:03:48,256 --> 00:03:51,724
Barney, well, that's a handsome
name for such a handsome fellow.
87
00:03:53,644 --> 00:03:56,178
Oh, God, Joy, without you,
88
00:03:56,264 --> 00:03:58,514
that could be me—
89
00:03:58,649 --> 00:04:01,984
sad, alone, talking to cats.
90
00:04:02,069 --> 00:04:04,186
I am not sad and alone.
91
00:04:04,272 --> 00:04:05,321
Can we get a smile, Melanie?
92
00:04:05,406 --> 00:04:07,489
No, I don't think we can.
93
00:04:11,746 --> 00:04:14,863
To Cleveland's calendar girls.
94
00:04:14,949 --> 00:04:20,252
You know, I'm gonna pose
with nothing but a python
95
00:04:20,371 --> 00:04:22,671
like Britney Spears.
96
00:04:24,091 --> 00:04:27,376
All I need are a couple puppies
97
00:04:27,461 --> 00:04:29,878
to cover my puppies.
98
00:04:31,966 --> 00:04:34,433
I'm gonna balance
a champagne glass on my butt
99
00:04:34,552 --> 00:04:36,101
like Kim Kardashian.
100
00:04:36,220 --> 00:04:38,103
I tried it at home.
101
00:04:38,222 --> 00:04:41,523
There's even room
for the ice bucket.
102
00:04:43,194 --> 00:04:47,279
I'm thinking
of posing behind clothes.
103
00:04:47,398 --> 00:04:49,698
But then you won't be naked.
104
00:04:49,784 --> 00:04:52,901
I guess I'm a little nervous
about being in the buff.
105
00:04:52,987 --> 00:04:55,454
Pardon my language.
106
00:04:55,573 --> 00:04:57,740
But you have a gorgeous body.
107
00:04:57,825 --> 00:04:58,825
How do you know?
108
00:04:58,876 --> 00:05:02,494
I've never even
seen myself naked.
109
00:05:02,580 --> 00:05:06,632
I take out my contacts
before I undress.
110
00:05:06,751 --> 00:05:10,085
I saw you when you went
through airport security.
111
00:05:12,089 --> 00:05:13,589
It was a nice outline.
112
00:05:16,227 --> 00:05:17,810
What if Reverend Bower sees it?
113
00:05:17,928 --> 00:05:20,012
Ooh, Reverend Bower?
114
00:05:20,097 --> 00:05:21,847
Somebody's hot for preacher.
115
00:05:23,934 --> 00:05:25,267
We're just friends.
116
00:05:25,353 --> 00:05:27,987
I wouldn't want him
to think less of me
117
00:05:28,105 --> 00:05:30,656
by seeing more of me.
118
00:05:30,775 --> 00:05:32,441
It's gonna be fine.
119
00:05:32,576 --> 00:05:34,076
Have another beer.
120
00:05:34,161 --> 00:05:36,996
What we need
is to order some pizzas.
121
00:05:37,114 --> 00:05:39,865
Elka, we've got
to watch our figures, honey.
122
00:05:39,950 --> 00:05:41,450
We've got a photo shoot coming.
123
00:05:41,585 --> 00:05:43,002
Relax.
124
00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,621
I'll just wear bigger puppies.
125
00:05:50,127 --> 00:05:51,427
You're a good friend,
126
00:05:51,512 --> 00:05:53,192
volunteering to keep me company
at the DMV.
127
00:05:53,297 --> 00:05:54,880
I didn't volunteer.
128
00:05:54,965 --> 00:05:57,800
You said we were going
for frozen yogurt.
129
00:05:57,885 --> 00:06:00,185
Next.
130
00:06:00,304 --> 00:06:02,271
Oh, my goodness, Victoria Chase!
131
00:06:02,356 --> 00:06:03,806
- I'm such a fan!
- Oh, thank you.
132
00:06:03,941 --> 00:06:05,891
You are not gonna believe this,
133
00:06:05,976 --> 00:06:09,311
but my nitwit assistant here
lost my driver's license.
134
00:06:09,397 --> 00:06:10,529
What?
135
00:06:10,648 --> 00:06:11,480
Oh, no problem.
136
00:06:11,615 --> 00:06:12,981
We have your photo on file.
137
00:06:13,117 --> 00:06:14,997
It would be my honor
to reissue one immediately.
138
00:06:15,069 --> 00:06:17,202
Yeah,
I need to replace that photo
139
00:06:17,321 --> 00:06:18,654
with this one.
140
00:06:18,739 --> 00:06:21,323
Oh, that's a beautiful photo.
141
00:06:21,459 --> 00:06:22,459
So pretty.
142
00:06:22,493 --> 00:06:25,127
I know.
So can you use it?
143
00:06:25,212 --> 00:06:26,829
Sorry, no can do.
144
00:06:26,964 --> 00:06:27,964
Why not?
145
00:06:28,049 --> 00:06:29,665
The best we can do
is take your photo again,
146
00:06:29,750 --> 00:06:31,083
but we have to use our camera.
147
00:06:31,168 --> 00:06:32,751
- It's the law.
- Seriously?
148
00:06:32,837 --> 00:06:35,304
I have to have my photo
taken with that piece of—
149
00:06:35,389 --> 00:06:38,891
Okay, I-I think what my boss
is trying to say is that
150
00:06:39,009 --> 00:06:40,342
it would be difficult
151
00:06:40,478 --> 00:06:42,428
to take a nice photo of her
with your equipment.
152
00:06:42,513 --> 00:06:44,680
Mm-hmm, perhaps
if you hadn't lost her license,
153
00:06:44,765 --> 00:06:46,982
she wouldn't be
in this predicament.
154
00:06:49,236 --> 00:06:51,487
Okay.
155
00:06:51,572 --> 00:06:54,656
She's my mother's friend.
I had to hire her.
156
00:06:57,862 --> 00:06:59,278
I'm sorry, Miss Chase.
157
00:06:59,363 --> 00:07:00,579
I want to help you out,
158
00:07:00,698 --> 00:07:03,282
but it's important that
everyone look like themselves.
159
00:07:03,367 --> 00:07:05,200
This isn't what I look like.
160
00:07:05,336 --> 00:07:08,203
This is what I look like.
161
00:07:08,339 --> 00:07:10,789
I'm sorry, no can do.
162
00:07:10,875 --> 00:07:13,792
All right, I will be back.
163
00:07:13,878 --> 00:07:14,877
Hey, do you think
you could get Miss Chase
164
00:07:14,962 --> 00:07:16,211
to autograph this for me?
165
00:07:16,347 --> 00:07:19,298
I'm sorry, no can do.
166
00:07:19,383 --> 00:07:21,467
It's assistants like you
that give stars
167
00:07:21,552 --> 00:07:24,353
like Victoria Chase a bad name.
168
00:07:26,724 --> 00:07:28,440
Okay, no more crying.
169
00:07:28,559 --> 00:07:30,192
Don't worry.
I've got this.
170
00:07:33,197 --> 00:07:36,365
Ah, my grandmother's ring
171
00:07:36,450 --> 00:07:39,368
on my beautiful fiancée's hand.
172
00:07:39,453 --> 00:07:41,203
Here I go again.
173
00:07:44,825 --> 00:07:45,825
Sorry.
174
00:07:45,826 --> 00:07:47,459
Oh, what's this on my dress?
175
00:07:47,578 --> 00:07:50,078
Oh.
176
00:07:50,214 --> 00:07:52,464
Nose tears?
177
00:07:52,583 --> 00:07:54,049
I've got to go clean this off.
178
00:07:54,135 --> 00:07:55,634
Pull yourself together.
179
00:07:55,753 --> 00:07:58,003
Okay. Ahh.
180
00:07:59,890 --> 00:08:01,974
I cannot wait
to marry that woman.
181
00:08:02,092 --> 00:08:03,092
Yeah, I can see that.
182
00:08:03,093 --> 00:08:04,760
You two planning on having kids?
183
00:08:04,895 --> 00:08:06,428
No, no.
184
00:08:06,514 --> 00:08:08,430
I mean, I've always dreamed
of having kids of my own,
185
00:08:08,516 --> 00:08:10,983
but when you get married
this late in life,
186
00:08:11,101 --> 00:08:13,602
it's not really in the cards,
187
00:08:13,737 --> 00:08:15,103
though I'd never say anything
to Joy about it.
188
00:08:15,189 --> 00:08:18,273
I wouldn't want her to think she
was disappointing me in any way.
189
00:08:21,529 --> 00:08:22,911
So Bob wants kids?
190
00:08:22,997 --> 00:08:24,947
He says he wants his own kids.
191
00:08:25,032 --> 00:08:26,114
Have you discussed
having children?
192
00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:28,083
I didn't think
we had to discuss it.
193
00:08:28,169 --> 00:08:30,118
Now I'm worried
I'm being unfair.
194
00:08:30,254 --> 00:08:31,286
Bob's a man.
195
00:08:31,422 --> 00:08:34,039
He could still have kids
with someone younger.
196
00:08:34,124 --> 00:08:36,091
And less dried out.
197
00:08:43,467 --> 00:08:45,267
Is this absolutely necessary?
198
00:08:45,352 --> 00:08:47,970
My photo shoot's tomorrow,
199
00:08:48,055 --> 00:08:50,606
and I need to practice
being comfortable.
200
00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:52,030
Naked.
201
00:08:53,027 --> 00:08:54,476
It's disturbing.
202
00:08:54,562 --> 00:08:56,061
It is a little awkward.
203
00:08:56,146 --> 00:08:58,697
Not for me.
Now, I'm an actress.
204
00:08:58,816 --> 00:09:01,483
I've been trained to convey
that the human body is beautiful
205
00:09:01,619 --> 00:09:03,569
no matter
what I'm actually feeling.
206
00:09:05,906 --> 00:09:07,456
So what are you gonna do?
207
00:09:07,541 --> 00:09:09,157
The mature,
responsible thing—
208
00:09:09,293 --> 00:09:11,076
pretend I never heard him.
209
00:09:11,161 --> 00:09:13,245
Having kids is a big issue.
210
00:09:13,330 --> 00:09:15,010
Ultimately, it's what broke up
me and Alec.
211
00:09:15,049 --> 00:09:17,466
I know, and I don't want
to go back to being
212
00:09:17,551 --> 00:09:20,302
sad, single, and alone.
213
00:09:20,387 --> 00:09:23,505
No offense, Melanie.
214
00:09:23,641 --> 00:09:26,725
I may be single,
but I'm not sad.
215
00:09:26,844 --> 00:09:28,677
It's so easy
for us to get dates,
216
00:09:28,762 --> 00:09:31,680
we've become reliant on guys
for our happiness,
217
00:09:31,815 --> 00:09:34,182
which is why I am having a date
with myself tomorrow night
218
00:09:34,268 --> 00:09:36,068
at that new restaurant
I've been dying to try.
219
00:09:36,186 --> 00:09:38,153
And now
I'm using my acting training
220
00:09:38,239 --> 00:09:40,856
to pretend
that Melanie's plan isn't sad.
221
00:09:43,027 --> 00:09:46,328
You know what is sad
besides Melanie?
222
00:09:46,413 --> 00:09:48,163
I am not sad.
223
00:09:48,249 --> 00:09:50,832
Mamie Sue thinks
her body isn't good enough
224
00:09:50,918 --> 00:09:52,000
to be in the calendar.
225
00:09:52,086 --> 00:09:54,002
Well, maybe she's just shy,
226
00:09:54,088 --> 00:09:58,707
and maybe you should be shy too.
227
00:09:58,792 --> 00:10:02,261
Hey, we're not gonna
look this hot forever.
228
00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:07,466
Mm-hmm. Next.
229
00:10:07,551 --> 00:10:11,020
Oh, Victoria Chase, are you back
to take your picture?
230
00:10:11,138 --> 00:10:13,472
Yes, I am, and I'm
going to use your equipment
231
00:10:13,557 --> 00:10:15,557
as required by law.
232
00:10:15,643 --> 00:10:17,609
Wonderful, just step over there.
233
00:10:19,530 --> 00:10:20,612
Okay, are you ready?
234
00:10:20,698 --> 00:10:23,982
Ready.
235
00:10:27,738 --> 00:10:30,789
Oh, wow, that was amazing.
236
00:10:33,210 --> 00:10:34,626
So did you get the shot?
237
00:10:34,712 --> 00:10:36,328
Oh, whoopsie.
238
00:10:36,414 --> 00:10:37,414
Whoopsie?
239
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:40,666
I got it.
Next.
240
00:10:43,586 --> 00:10:46,019
What kind of music should we
listen to for the photo session?
241
00:10:46,154 --> 00:10:49,539
Well, it's hard
to keep your clothes on
242
00:10:49,658 --> 00:10:52,125
when you're listening
to Sinatra.
243
00:10:52,460 --> 00:10:54,661
True story.
244
00:10:55,914 --> 00:10:58,414
I'm still feeling nervous
about this.
245
00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:00,800
Why? What's the worst
that can happen?
246
00:11:00,919 --> 00:11:04,637
Well, hello, Mamie Sue, ladies.
247
00:11:04,756 --> 00:11:05,972
Hello, Reverend Bower.
248
00:11:06,091 --> 00:11:08,925
It might look like
we were talking about something,
249
00:11:09,060 --> 00:11:10,643
but we weren't.
250
00:11:10,762 --> 00:11:13,763
Okay, I hope to see you
in the front pew
251
00:11:13,848 --> 00:11:14,968
in church again this Sunday.
252
00:11:15,016 --> 00:11:16,482
Oh, you will.
253
00:11:16,601 --> 00:11:18,151
What's your sermon
going to be about?
254
00:11:18,270 --> 00:11:20,520
Society's declining values.
255
00:11:22,524 --> 00:11:25,608
Ladies, Mamie Sue.
256
00:11:25,694 --> 00:11:26,776
Good-bye.
257
00:11:26,861 --> 00:11:30,113
I hardly know these women.
258
00:11:30,966 --> 00:11:33,049
She's hot for preacher.
259
00:11:33,135 --> 00:11:34,135
You said that already.
260
00:11:34,219 --> 00:11:35,919
I'm a nude model.
261
00:11:36,004 --> 00:11:38,922
I don't have to be smart.
262
00:11:39,007 --> 00:11:41,257
Well, I'm not going
to be a nude model.
263
00:11:41,343 --> 00:11:43,476
Because of Reverend Bower?
264
00:11:43,595 --> 00:11:44,595
It's not just him.
265
00:11:44,596 --> 00:11:47,430
Who wants to see me
like that anyway?
266
00:11:47,516 --> 00:11:48,982
Maybe 40 years ago.
267
00:11:49,101 --> 00:11:51,184
But why should we think
we're only beautiful
268
00:11:51,269 --> 00:11:52,852
up to a certain age?
269
00:11:52,938 --> 00:11:57,240
Girl, my varicose veins
look like a fault map.
270
00:11:57,325 --> 00:12:00,360
And my muffin tops
have muffin tops.
271
00:12:00,445 --> 00:12:04,614
And my ass
looks like a bag of socks.
272
00:12:05,834 --> 00:12:08,451
But are we gonna let
all that get in the way
273
00:12:08,587 --> 00:12:10,453
of our getting naked
in front of the world?
274
00:12:10,589 --> 00:12:12,622
Oh, hell, yeah.
275
00:12:12,707 --> 00:12:15,208
I'm with them.
I'm out too.
276
00:12:15,293 --> 00:12:18,011
Oh, come on, girls, what can
I do to change your mind?
277
00:12:18,130 --> 00:12:22,599
Turn the calendar back to 1965.
278
00:12:29,641 --> 00:12:31,441
Wow, these tables are so close.
279
00:12:32,694 --> 00:12:34,561
But don't worry.
I won't be eavesdropping.
280
00:12:34,646 --> 00:12:35,979
Why would I?
I have a book.
281
00:12:41,036 --> 00:12:42,819
Can I get you a drink,
or should we wait for your date?
282
00:12:42,954 --> 00:12:46,489
Uh, yes, you can get me
a glass of Merlot,
283
00:12:46,575 --> 00:12:48,324
and my date is already here.
284
00:12:50,662 --> 00:12:54,497
And what can I get for you?
285
00:12:54,583 --> 00:12:56,666
I know that
there's nobody sitting there.
286
00:12:56,751 --> 00:12:57,751
I'm not crazy.
287
00:12:57,836 --> 00:13:00,503
I am just a lady
on a date with herself,
288
00:13:00,639 --> 00:13:03,590
celebrating being alone.
289
00:13:03,675 --> 00:13:05,642
Oh, God, is that cat hair?
290
00:13:07,062 --> 00:13:08,394
Okay, don't look at me
like that.
291
00:13:08,513 --> 00:13:10,473
I'm sure there are plenty
of people that come here
292
00:13:10,515 --> 00:13:11,515
and dine by themselves.
293
00:13:11,650 --> 00:13:13,183
Not really.
294
00:13:13,268 --> 00:13:15,985
Uh, we were voted Cleveland's
most romantic restaurant.
295
00:13:16,071 --> 00:13:18,188
Oh, well,
then it's the perfect atmosphere
296
00:13:18,323 --> 00:13:21,407
for me to read
my World War II love story.
297
00:13:21,526 --> 00:13:22,826
Just bring me the chateaubriand.
298
00:13:22,911 --> 00:13:24,410
It's for two.
299
00:13:24,529 --> 00:13:26,830
We'll see about that.
300
00:13:33,588 --> 00:13:36,256
Oh, my God, Melanie Moretti
from the radio show.
301
00:13:36,374 --> 00:13:37,790
Yes, yes, that's me.
302
00:13:37,876 --> 00:13:39,125
I saw your picture
at the dry cleaner.
303
00:13:39,211 --> 00:13:40,677
Oh.
304
00:13:40,762 --> 00:13:42,011
I'm so sorry to bother you.
305
00:13:42,097 --> 00:13:43,763
No, no, no,
it's no bother at all.
306
00:13:43,882 --> 00:13:45,048
What would you like
to talk about?
307
00:13:45,133 --> 00:13:46,099
Is there anything
you'd like to talk about?
308
00:13:46,218 --> 00:13:48,468
Please sit down.
309
00:13:48,553 --> 00:13:50,220
I just wanted to say thank you,
310
00:13:50,305 --> 00:13:51,938
because you said
on your radio show,
311
00:13:52,057 --> 00:13:53,439
"Fear of being alone
312
00:13:53,558 --> 00:13:55,775
is no reason to stay
in a bad relationship,"
313
00:13:55,894 --> 00:13:57,393
so I dumped
my terrible boyfriend,
314
00:13:57,529 --> 00:13:59,729
and now I just go out by myself
if I want to.
315
00:13:59,865 --> 00:14:01,281
And it's fun, right?
316
00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:03,149
So fun.
317
00:14:04,569 --> 00:14:05,702
I mean, the first time I did it,
318
00:14:05,787 --> 00:14:07,453
I was so self-conscious,
I ate a whole bread basket.
319
00:14:07,572 --> 00:14:09,539
Oh, I just ordered
3 pounds of meat.
320
00:14:09,624 --> 00:14:12,792
Oh.
Okay.
321
00:14:12,911 --> 00:14:14,494
But this is nice too.
322
00:14:14,579 --> 00:14:16,079
Ah, so nice.
323
00:14:16,214 --> 00:14:17,413
Yeah.
324
00:14:22,087 --> 00:14:23,567
Want to go someplace
and pick up guys?
325
00:14:23,588 --> 00:14:25,555
- Oh, God, yes.
- Okay.
326
00:14:28,009 --> 00:14:30,393
Joy, I was up all night
practicing.
327
00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:32,262
How's this?
328
00:14:32,347 --> 00:14:35,265
Oh, Bob,
that's a beautiful smile.
329
00:14:35,350 --> 00:14:37,233
- You look so handsome.
- Thanks.
330
00:14:37,319 --> 00:14:38,768
I was looking in the mirror,
331
00:14:38,904 --> 00:14:41,521
thinking about what I love most
about you, and I saw this smile,
332
00:14:41,606 --> 00:14:43,323
and I thought, "That looks good.
333
00:14:43,441 --> 00:14:46,159
That looks damn good."
334
00:14:46,278 --> 00:14:47,994
You know,
you're a lucky woman, Joy.
335
00:14:48,113 --> 00:14:49,362
- I am.
- Mmm.
336
00:14:49,447 --> 00:14:51,197
Mmm.
337
00:14:51,283 --> 00:14:53,616
So what do you love most
about me?
338
00:14:53,752 --> 00:14:56,619
I love that we're a team.
339
00:14:56,755 --> 00:14:58,421
We may disagree
about the little things,
340
00:14:58,506 --> 00:15:00,123
but we agree on the big things,
341
00:15:00,208 --> 00:15:01,591
and that's what matters most.
342
00:15:01,676 --> 00:15:06,512
Yes, it's important
to agree on the big things
343
00:15:06,631 --> 00:15:08,965
and be open and honest
with each other
344
00:15:09,050 --> 00:15:10,466
about the big things.
345
00:15:10,552 --> 00:15:13,970
All right,
you two lovebirds, smile.
346
00:15:16,808 --> 00:15:20,693
Bob, what if
there were one big thing that,
347
00:15:20,812 --> 00:15:24,147
if revealed,
could potentially destroy us?
348
00:15:24,282 --> 00:15:26,566
Would you still love me?
349
00:15:26,651 --> 00:15:28,651
I guess,
350
00:15:28,787 --> 00:15:32,739
although I feel my smile
starting to fade a little.
351
00:15:32,824 --> 00:15:34,741
Oh, it's nothing
we should talk about now
352
00:15:34,826 --> 00:15:36,209
or ever, really.
353
00:15:36,328 --> 00:15:38,661
Ah.
354
00:15:38,747 --> 00:15:40,630
How big, Joy?
355
00:15:40,715 --> 00:15:42,882
How big is the big thing?
356
00:15:43,001 --> 00:15:44,884
It's big.
357
00:15:45,003 --> 00:15:47,804
Joy, I think I need to know
what the big thing is.
358
00:15:47,889 --> 00:15:48,889
All right.
359
00:15:49,007 --> 00:15:50,340
Wait.
360
00:15:50,475 --> 00:15:51,507
I heard you talking
361
00:15:51,643 --> 00:15:53,676
about how you'd always dreamed
of having kids,
362
00:15:53,762 --> 00:15:56,229
and I felt terrible.
363
00:15:56,348 --> 00:15:59,232
You should be marrying someone
you can have children with.
364
00:15:59,351 --> 00:16:02,935
Joy, you're the woman
I want to marry.
365
00:16:03,021 --> 00:16:04,741
If you don't want to have kids,
that's fine.
366
00:16:04,773 --> 00:16:06,189
But I do.
I would love to.
367
00:16:06,274 --> 00:16:09,909
I'm just too...
not young enough.
368
00:16:10,028 --> 00:16:11,611
But what difference
does age make?
369
00:16:11,696 --> 00:16:12,945
We can adopt.
370
00:16:13,031 --> 00:16:15,031
But I thought
you wanted your own child.
371
00:16:15,116 --> 00:16:19,369
If we adopt a child,
it will be my own—our own.
372
00:16:19,504 --> 00:16:21,871
Oh, Bob.
373
00:16:21,956 --> 00:16:24,123
I would love
to adopt a child with you.
374
00:16:24,209 --> 00:16:26,592
And I with you.
375
00:16:31,716 --> 00:16:33,883
Do you guys want to,
like, reschedule or—
376
00:16:34,019 --> 00:16:37,220
No, no, no, no, no,
take the photo.
377
00:16:37,305 --> 00:16:39,856
I want to capture exactly
how we're feeling right now,
378
00:16:39,941 --> 00:16:41,774
in this moment.
379
00:16:48,350 --> 00:16:49,633
How's this?
380
00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,118
Same time tomorrow?
381
00:16:54,586 --> 00:16:55,718
Do you want me
to turn up the heat?
382
00:16:56,054 --> 00:17:00,639
No, keep it down for perkiness.
383
00:17:00,725 --> 00:17:03,509
So, uh, you're the only model
for this calendar?
384
00:17:03,944 --> 00:17:08,163
Nope, Miss December
is in the house, child.
385
00:17:09,784 --> 00:17:10,784
Marcia.
386
00:17:10,868 --> 00:17:13,168
I thought about what you said
387
00:17:13,254 --> 00:17:15,587
about women our age
being invisible,
388
00:17:15,706 --> 00:17:18,624
and I don't want
to be invisible.
389
00:17:18,709 --> 00:17:20,426
Neither do I.
390
00:17:20,544 --> 00:17:22,478
I got a full-body wax.
391
00:17:22,513 --> 00:17:25,764
I'm hairless from my eyebrows
to my ankles.
392
00:17:26,968 --> 00:17:29,351
Helen, what changed your mind?
393
00:17:29,470 --> 00:17:32,221
Your inspiring words
and two vodkas.
394
00:17:34,358 --> 00:17:36,225
Poor Mamie Sue.
395
00:17:36,310 --> 00:17:38,561
She'll never know
how freeing this is.
396
00:17:38,646 --> 00:17:40,863
Yes, she will.
397
00:17:40,982 --> 00:17:42,281
Mamie Sue!
398
00:17:42,366 --> 00:17:44,116
You were right, Elka.
399
00:17:44,202 --> 00:17:46,068
We ought to be doing this.
400
00:17:46,153 --> 00:17:49,488
A girl should feel
she's beautiful her whole life,
401
00:17:49,574 --> 00:17:52,741
not just the years
she's actually beautiful.
402
00:17:54,662 --> 00:17:55,711
Get over here.
403
00:17:55,830 --> 00:17:58,247
- Let's make a calendar.
- I'm ready.
404
00:18:04,338 --> 00:18:08,173
I forgot my wallet.
405
00:18:08,259 --> 00:18:10,175
But I don't need it.
406
00:18:15,399 --> 00:18:17,600
How'd it go
at the adoption agency?
407
00:18:17,685 --> 00:18:20,019
Looks good,
but it's gonna be a process.
408
00:18:20,154 --> 00:18:22,321
Oh,
I'm all for you two adopting,
409
00:18:22,406 --> 00:18:24,523
and FYI, with your light skin,
410
00:18:24,609 --> 00:18:27,526
a darker baby would really pop.
411
00:18:27,662 --> 00:18:29,245
We should open some champagne.
412
00:18:29,363 --> 00:18:30,746
To celebrate the baby?
413
00:18:30,865 --> 00:18:34,450
That and the blessed arrival
of my new driver's license.
414
00:18:34,535 --> 00:18:36,201
Take a look, ladies.
415
00:18:36,337 --> 00:18:37,836
Oh, honey,
that's a terrible picture.
416
00:18:37,922 --> 00:18:40,673
Yeah, I know,
but look at the birth date.
417
00:18:40,758 --> 00:18:42,424
1980?
418
00:18:44,011 --> 00:18:45,544
So they made a mistake.
419
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:49,715
Uh-uh, according to the great
state of Ohio, I'm 35,
420
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:51,717
and we're all gonna
go with that.
421
00:18:53,938 --> 00:18:55,888
The calendars are out, girls.
422
00:18:57,642 --> 00:18:59,692
Oh, look at Miss September.
423
00:18:59,777 --> 00:19:01,894
She's 98?
424
00:19:01,979 --> 00:19:04,480
Oh, and look
at that cute, wrinkly Shar-Pei
425
00:19:04,565 --> 00:19:06,699
she's holding in her lap.
426
00:19:06,784 --> 00:19:09,818
She didn't pose with a dog.
427
00:19:17,430 --> 00:19:19,848
Is this unbelievable or what?
428
00:19:19,933 --> 00:19:22,751
Well, this has been great
for my marriage.
429
00:19:23,020 --> 00:19:25,587
My husband is looking at me
differently.
430
00:19:25,689 --> 00:19:27,355
He's looking at me.
431
00:19:28,859 --> 00:19:32,611
I heard the senior center alone
bought 50 copies.
432
00:19:32,696 --> 00:19:35,113
We've caused two heart attacks
already!
433
00:19:37,117 --> 00:19:39,117
Mamie Sue.
434
00:19:39,202 --> 00:19:41,836
Reverend Bower,
I can't believe you're here.
435
00:19:41,922 --> 00:19:46,124
I am so proud that you
have taken what God gave you
436
00:19:46,209 --> 00:19:47,709
and put it toward a good cause.
437
00:19:47,794 --> 00:19:49,878
Really?
Thank you.
438
00:19:50,013 --> 00:19:51,880
And even though it's April,
439
00:19:51,965 --> 00:19:54,466
my calendar still shows January.
440
00:19:56,053 --> 00:19:58,553
That's my month.
441
00:19:58,639 --> 00:20:00,021
You know, Mamie,
442
00:20:00,107 --> 00:20:02,147
there's a raffle night
coming up at the church—
443
00:20:02,233 --> 00:20:05,350
And you'd like me
to pose nude for the poster?
444
00:20:05,436 --> 00:20:07,185
Sure!
445
00:20:07,271 --> 00:20:10,856
Actually, I was just hoping
you'd be my date.
446
00:20:11,441 --> 00:20:13,191
I would love that.
447
00:20:13,226 --> 00:20:14,809
Wonderful.
448
00:20:17,498 --> 00:20:20,999
So apparently,
men don't seem to mind
449
00:20:21,085 --> 00:20:23,168
when you take your clothes off.
450
00:20:24,505 --> 00:20:26,538
Who knew?
451
00:20:26,687 --> 00:20:30,687
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www.addic7ed.com
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00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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