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Hot in Cleveland is recorded
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in front of a live studio audience.
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You know, I've never been
to a vodka tasting.
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Do you sip and spit?
5
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,309
And waste good vodka?
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Just swallow. That's my motto.
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Don't you dare.
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Unlike your boyfriends, Joy,
I don't swing at the easy ones.
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Mmm. This stuff is great.
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- When are you shooting your commercial?
- Next week.
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Victoria Chase for Paleo vodka.
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The vodka the cavemen drank.
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Cavemen didn't drink vodka.
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Well, you were there.
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Elka, the mayor is out there sitting alone.
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You invited him over here,
so you could make nice.
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But I hate him.
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We'll just end up fighting.
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Oh, take this.
20
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Nothing solves fights better than alcohol.
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This is a little heavy.
22
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Lighter now.
23
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There's no reason
we can't be nice to each other
24
00:01:05,100 --> 00:01:07,032
for one night, Mr. Mayor.
25
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No reason at all, Councilwoman.
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Your speech today was
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almost interesting.
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And your rebuttal
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almost made sense.
30
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Hey, guys.
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Owen, I see you've met my boyfriend, Jack.
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I've never met an Owen I didn't like,
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and I've met over two Owens.
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How did you get to be so adorable?
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Might be because I'm descended
from kittens.
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Isn't he the cutest?
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He's right up there.
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I think I'm gonna go talk to my mother.
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Hi, honey. So how's things with you?
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Have you asked Debbie out yet?
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00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:51,011
First of all, mom,
stop saying her name that way.
42
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Like what? I'm just saying Debbie.
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Is she pretty?
44
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Yes, she's pretty, but I work with her.
45
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I want to take my time.
46
00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:00,354
You're right. Don't rush.
47
00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:04,191
Maybe tonight you'll
meet a girl at this party.
48
00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:09,596
Looking good, Owen.
49
00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:14,768
Fine, I'll ask Debbie out.
50
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,970
Well, it's been
an exciting evening, everyone,
51
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but it's getting late.
52
00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:20,140
I do have a long drive home.
53
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,878
It's funny because he only lives
across the street.
54
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I'll see you in a little bit.
55
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It'll seem like a long bit to me.
56
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Seems like a long bit to all of us.
57
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What a fun evening.
58
00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:39,126
Oh, and don't you just love Jack?
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Absolutely.
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Adore him.
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I know. He's sweet, right?
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Crazy sweet.
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Sickeningly sweet.
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And the two of them together
makes my teeth hurt.
65
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Oh, it's like Sugar dating Syrup.
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00:02:49,838 --> 00:02:51,471
It makes me want to throw up...
67
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:55,209
My hands in the air and be
so happy for Jack and Melanie.
68
00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:56,910
Aww. Thanks.
69
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:58,312
Oh.
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00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:02,249
You know, I am so pleased about
my paleo vodka endorsement.
71
00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:05,552
I was disappointed not to be
the UNICEF ambassador, but...
72
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:09,857
In some ways, vodka ambassador
helps far more people.
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00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:12,626
- Oh, it does.
- It so does.
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00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:13,861
It's gonna be great.
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It's gonna be a disaster.
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She never reads her contracts.
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She just signs them,
and the next thing you know,
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00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:22,102
she's in North Korea singing
"happy birthday" to Kim Jong...
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00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:24,071
Un, deux, trois, quatre.
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Yes, they're all here.
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00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:29,977
Oh, it's Dwayne.
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00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:32,079
He's flying in tomorrow to do my hair.
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Thinking of going blonde.
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- Exciting.
- Fabulous.
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It's never gonna happen.
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00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:38,452
Who's she kidding?
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I mean, for as long as we've known her,
88
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she's had the same hair... She is!
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00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:45,292
We were just saying how gorgeous
you are gonna be blonde.
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00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:46,527
Oh, totally.
91
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,428
Okay, well, I'm off to get ready
92
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:50,631
for my big romantic evening with Jack.
93
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,766
I'm gonna stay over at his place tonight.
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00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:54,568
So, as they say in New Zealand...
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00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:55,569
G'night, ladies.
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00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:57,571
I'm off to have g'sex.
97
00:03:57,604 --> 00:03:59,806
- G'brilliant.
- G'wonderful.
98
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,875
G'snore.
99
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:03,744
How boring is that sex gonna be?
100
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:05,746
I know. It's same with same.
101
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:08,916
It's like yams having sex
with sweet potatoes.
102
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:12,619
The last thing you want is two
nice people doing it politely.
103
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:15,822
Vanilla on vanilla is the worst sex of all.
104
00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:21,895
Is that vanilla I smell?
105
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:24,731
Yes, it's my scented candles.
106
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,066
They're called "vanilla escape."
107
00:04:26,101 --> 00:04:27,601
Mm.
108
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:29,069
Not too overpowering, though.
109
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:32,172
Nothing worse than over-scented candles.
110
00:04:32,206 --> 00:04:35,075
Apart from maybe war and poison spiders.
111
00:04:37,211 --> 00:04:40,080
So may I kiss you now?
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Asking for a kiss,
113
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:45,719
it's like sixth grade.
114
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What next?
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00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:49,423
"Would it be all right"
116
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,091
"if I unhook the back of your brassiere?"
117
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Everything all right?
118
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:56,430
Oh, uh, yeah. Yes.
119
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,098
I was thinking
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00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,100
how lovely it would be to have some music.
121
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,035
Great idea.
122
00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,239
What are you two doing here?
123
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:07,808
We're in your head.
124
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:08,809
Prove it.
125
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,008
Right now you're thinking,
126
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:11,545
"I knew I was having sex tonight.
127
00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:12,579
Why didn't I shave my legs?"
128
00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:15,482
Oh, my God, you are in my head!
129
00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:17,885
Why?
130
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:22,089
We just popped in to watch you
have vanilla sex.
131
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:23,957
Well, I am gonna kiss him,
132
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,927
and it is gonna be so hot
that when I open my eyes,
133
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,363
you two will be gone.
134
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:41,808
Are you sure you're all right?
135
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,143
You seem a little distracted.
136
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,411
No. No, no.
137
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Let's just have that kiss.
138
00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:46,780
Okay.
139
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:50,817
Wow.
140
00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,488
Still here.
141
00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:05,799
Synced and corrected by oykubuyuk
www.addic7ed.com
142
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,735
You guys ruined sex for me.
143
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:10,170
What are you talking about?
144
00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:11,605
Jack and I didn't have sex last night
145
00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:13,240
because the two of you were in my head.
146
00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:14,775
Why were we in your head?
147
00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,777
Because I overheard you talking
148
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:20,147
about how vanilla our sex was gonna be.
149
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,548
I would never talk about the two of you
150
00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,150
behind your back like that.
151
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:24,785
Unlike the two of you, I'm a good friend.
152
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:26,220
Really?
153
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:28,789
Are you the good friend who said
Victoria will screw things up
154
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,057
because she never reads contracts?
155
00:06:30,092 --> 00:06:31,391
What? Melanie!
156
00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:33,794
Well, you said Joy never changes her hair.
157
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,562
- Victoria.
- Oh, please.
158
00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:38,365
Melanie will have interesting
sex before you go blonde.
159
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:41,835
Victoria!
160
00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:43,203
So...
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00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:45,906
I slept with the mayor.
162
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:48,842
You said you invited him over last night
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to find common ground.
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00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,379
We found common ground.
165
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,548
In bed.
166
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,518
But you disagree on every issue.
167
00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:59,586
That's what makes it hot.
168
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,455
You are a councilwoman.
169
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:02,856
You cannot sleep with the mayor.
170
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:05,726
Olivia pope sleeps with the president.
171
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,562
Onscandal,which is a TV show.
172
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,230
Used to be.
173
00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:12,332
Now it's real.
174
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,702
What if this gets out?
175
00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:18,238
Your supporters like that
you actually oppose the mayor.
176
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:20,941
And when there were rumors
about him and the treasurer,
177
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,309
you told The Plain Dealer,
178
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:24,211
"anyone dumb enough to sleep with the mayor
179
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:26,680
doesn't deserve to be in public office."
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00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:31,251
I could see where that
could come back to bite me.
181
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:32,619
So you'll break it off?
182
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:34,354
Fine.
183
00:07:34,388 --> 00:07:38,125
I'm gonna have to delete
some stuff from the cloud.
184
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:45,566
Victoria, we are so excited
here at paleo vodka
185
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:47,768
to have you as our spokesperson.
186
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:48,869
Let's sign these contracts.
187
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:50,270
Glad to, but first,
188
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:52,272
I've had issues with contracts before,
189
00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:55,976
so I must read this very carefully.
190
00:07:58,078 --> 00:07:59,479
Mm.
191
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:00,979
Mm-hmm.
192
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:02,449
You're not really reading.
193
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:05,819
You're just furrowing your brow
and making "mm-hmm" noises.
194
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:07,588
Hey.
195
00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:08,789
Is there a problem?
196
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,157
No.
197
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:13,460
I've read all the words,
and it appears to be in order.
198
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,494
Pen, please.
199
00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:18,899
Great.
200
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:20,467
And good luck with survival night.
201
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:22,769
The what-what now?
202
00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:24,002
Survival night.
203
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,472
You spend 24 hours in a cave
204
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:28,208
surviving the elements caveman-style.
205
00:08:28,242 --> 00:08:29,243
It was all in the contract.
206
00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:30,944
Of course it was.
207
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,219
- Mm.
- Mm-hmm.
208
00:08:39,253 --> 00:08:42,256
We're reading all the words.
209
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:46,093
So same old, same old?
210
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:49,263
Actually, I was thinking...
211
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:51,431
No, just the usual, please.
212
00:08:51,465 --> 00:08:52,933
Okay.
213
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,835
"I'm Joy Scroggs, I am,
214
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,204
and I never change me look."
215
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:58,705
"I like things"
216
00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:02,276
"the way they are, guv'na."
217
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:04,895
I sound nothing like that.
218
00:09:04,930 --> 00:09:07,481
Dwayne, I want to go blonde.
219
00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:08,615
Not just blonde.
220
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:09,616
Platinum.
221
00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:14,555
I'll get the bleach.
222
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,529
Hello, stranger.
223
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,169
I know. It's a bit different.
224
00:09:29,203 --> 00:09:30,470
The stylist thought it would be better
225
00:09:30,504 --> 00:09:32,506
if my eyebrows and eyelashes
matched, but I...
226
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:33,507
no, no, no, no, no.
227
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,275
You gotta get out of here.
228
00:09:35,309 --> 00:09:37,311
You look like an albino,
and Debbie's coming.
229
00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:38,345
So?
230
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:40,681
What does Debbie have to do with this?
231
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,049
That.
232
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:48,121
Why didn't you tell me she was an albino?
233
00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:52,359
Because I didn't know
you were going tobean albino.
234
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:54,194
Besides, it sounded racist.
235
00:09:54,228 --> 00:09:55,629
Is it a race?
236
00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:58,498
Shh.
237
00:09:58,532 --> 00:10:00,267
Hey, Owen.
238
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,736
Debbie, this is my mom, Joy.
239
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:03,804
Hi.
240
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:05,973
Don't worry. This was a mistake.
241
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,241
Be back to normal soon.
242
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:08,308
Not "normal."
243
00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:09,676
You look normal,
244
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,512
if normal is incredibly beautiful.
245
00:10:11,545 --> 00:10:13,480
Gosh, I'd go out with you if...
246
00:10:13,514 --> 00:10:15,716
if you weren't dating my son
and I was gay and you were.
247
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:17,851
Why doesn't somebody else talk?
248
00:10:19,686 --> 00:10:22,523
You know, I'm getting kind of
a weird vibe here, Owen.
249
00:10:22,556 --> 00:10:25,559
I'll see you back at work.
250
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,535
So...
251
00:10:34,568 --> 00:10:37,571
Anyone else at the office you like?
252
00:10:42,702 --> 00:10:45,906
Elka, are you breaking up with me?
253
00:10:45,939 --> 00:10:49,309
Don't act like it was more than it was.
254
00:10:49,342 --> 00:10:54,247
We were just enemies with benefits.
255
00:10:54,281 --> 00:10:56,516
You're right.
256
00:10:56,550 --> 00:10:59,619
It's best for both of our careers.
257
00:10:59,653 --> 00:11:05,525
No more sexy texts during council meetings.
258
00:11:05,559 --> 00:11:07,827
No more letting our hands
259
00:11:07,861 --> 00:11:11,198
linger on the shovel at ground-breakings.
260
00:11:12,332 --> 00:11:13,900
Go now.
261
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:15,869
Don't look back.
262
00:11:34,921 --> 00:11:36,323
Wow, you really did it.
263
00:11:36,356 --> 00:11:39,893
Yes, but only because you
and Victoria were in my head.
264
00:11:39,926 --> 00:11:42,596
And then I saw Owen, and he
was on a date with Debbie.
265
00:11:42,629 --> 00:11:44,231
- Yay!
- No, Melanie.
266
00:11:44,264 --> 00:11:45,498
Not yay.
267
00:11:45,532 --> 00:11:47,000
Debbie's an albino.
268
00:11:47,033 --> 00:11:50,136
Oh, my God, and you look like an albino.
269
00:11:50,170 --> 00:11:51,137
Did she notice?
270
00:11:51,171 --> 00:11:54,474
Yeah, she did.
271
00:11:54,508 --> 00:11:56,076
Oh, my God.
272
00:11:56,109 --> 00:11:57,611
I know. My hair.
273
00:11:57,644 --> 00:12:01,581
Joy, this is not about you
and how terrible you look.
274
00:12:01,615 --> 00:12:03,250
I have to sleep in a cave
275
00:12:03,283 --> 00:12:05,752
because you two said that
I didn't read contracts.
276
00:12:05,785 --> 00:12:08,788
Oh, how the hell
am I gonna survive in the wild?
277
00:12:08,822 --> 00:12:11,858
I can barely make it
through a night at the radisson.
278
00:12:11,892 --> 00:12:14,528
See, this is the problem
with women living together.
279
00:12:14,561 --> 00:12:15,762
We're in each other's heads.
280
00:12:15,795 --> 00:12:17,197
Our mind cycles are synced.
281
00:12:17,230 --> 00:12:18,198
You're right.
282
00:12:18,231 --> 00:12:19,766
We have PMS.
283
00:12:19,799 --> 00:12:22,002
Persistent mental...
284
00:12:22,035 --> 00:12:23,837
Something.
285
00:12:23,870 --> 00:12:24,938
What do we do?
286
00:12:24,971 --> 00:12:27,073
What women have done for centuries:
287
00:12:27,107 --> 00:12:30,043
Drink, eat chocolate, and try
to stay away from each other.
288
00:12:30,076 --> 00:12:33,647
And stay away from me while you're at it.
289
00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:37,984
Wait, whose head is she in?
290
00:12:42,815 --> 00:12:46,986
Hi, I'm bear Thomas,
and this dark, damp, remote cave
291
00:12:47,020 --> 00:12:49,822
is gonna be Victoria Chase's
bedroom for the night.
292
00:12:49,857 --> 00:12:52,091
All that stands between her
and the elements
293
00:12:52,125 --> 00:12:55,561
is a sleeping bag
and a bottle of Paleo vodka.
294
00:12:55,595 --> 00:12:57,463
- I'm gonna leave her now.
- What?
295
00:12:57,497 --> 00:12:59,299
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
296
00:12:59,332 --> 00:13:02,869
You have to protect me
against all this nature.
297
00:13:02,902 --> 00:13:04,237
The whole point of the promotion is
298
00:13:04,270 --> 00:13:07,106
you here against the elements.
299
00:13:07,140 --> 00:13:10,410
The good news is, all the bugs
in this cave are edible.
300
00:13:10,443 --> 00:13:11,678
Oh, and the bats won't come out
301
00:13:11,711 --> 00:13:13,880
unless you make a sudden
movement or scream in fear.
302
00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:15,711
See you tomorrow.
303
00:13:24,411 --> 00:13:27,414
Oh. I'm so alone.
304
00:13:27,447 --> 00:13:29,816
The only voice in my head is my own,
305
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:34,321
saying, "why didn't you read
your [bleep] contract?"
306
00:13:34,354 --> 00:13:37,557
Oh, I wish Melanie was in my head.
307
00:13:37,591 --> 00:13:39,126
She'd know what to do.
308
00:13:39,159 --> 00:13:41,895
Hey, how come you didn't
want me in your head?
309
00:13:41,929 --> 00:13:43,130
Because I'm better in a crisis.
310
00:13:43,163 --> 00:13:44,531
If you can't drink it or sleep with it,
311
00:13:44,564 --> 00:13:46,166
you don't know what to do.
312
00:13:46,199 --> 00:13:47,701
Good one, Victoria.
313
00:13:47,734 --> 00:13:48,936
That was my line.
314
00:13:48,969 --> 00:13:51,438
No, but I'm the one
imagining you saying it.
315
00:13:51,471 --> 00:13:53,307
Now, help me.
316
00:13:53,340 --> 00:13:54,841
How am I gonna get through the night?
317
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:56,843
You're an actress.
318
00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:59,079
An academy award-winning actress.
319
00:13:59,112 --> 00:14:02,215
I never get tired of thinking it.
320
00:14:02,249 --> 00:14:04,551
Just act like you're not in a cave.
321
00:14:04,585 --> 00:14:07,988
You're in the cave room
of an exclusive outdoor spa.
322
00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:10,023
Gwyneth tried to book it but was
told you were more important.
323
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:11,758
There's nobody here to impress,
324
00:14:11,792 --> 00:14:13,560
so you don't have
to pretend to read a book.
325
00:14:13,594 --> 00:14:16,063
And instead of cucumber water, you have...
326
00:14:16,096 --> 00:14:18,131
Vodka.
327
00:14:19,499 --> 00:14:22,002
Oh, I like the way I'm thinking.
328
00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:28,075
I am so sorry about the other night.
329
00:14:28,108 --> 00:14:29,476
That's okay.
330
00:14:29,509 --> 00:14:32,980
Believe it or not, I have
not had sex with women before.
331
00:14:34,481 --> 00:14:35,816
Do you want to come around again tonight
332
00:14:35,849 --> 00:14:39,386
for a nice evening in?
333
00:14:39,486 --> 00:14:41,154
Or...
334
00:14:41,188 --> 00:14:43,590
We could be naughty and do it
right now in the bathroom.
335
00:14:43,624 --> 00:14:45,192
The bath...
336
00:14:45,225 --> 00:14:47,127
The bathroom?
337
00:14:49,329 --> 00:14:50,564
I've never done it in public before.
338
00:14:51,632 --> 00:14:52,833
Back in New Zealand,
339
00:14:52,866 --> 00:14:56,503
I had a sensual encounter
at a bus stop once.
340
00:14:56,536 --> 00:15:00,407
But it was interrupted by sheep.
341
00:15:00,507 --> 00:15:01,908
Meet me in the handicap bathroom.
342
00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:03,310
Five minutes.
343
00:15:03,345 --> 00:15:04,678
Sounds naughty.
344
00:15:04,711 --> 00:15:05,979
Oh, super naughty.
345
00:15:06,013 --> 00:15:08,949
Because if we get caught
in the handicap bathroom,
346
00:15:08,982 --> 00:15:10,183
we have to pay a fine.
347
00:15:22,896 --> 00:15:26,266
Oh!
348
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:28,168
Oh, how do you make a bathroom sexy?
349
00:15:28,201 --> 00:15:29,434
I wish Joy were here.
350
00:15:29,469 --> 00:15:32,005
Why did you think of me first?
351
00:15:32,039 --> 00:15:34,308
Exactly. I've had sex in bathrooms.
352
00:15:34,341 --> 00:15:35,976
Yeah, but admit it.
353
00:15:36,009 --> 00:15:39,012
You think of Joy first.
354
00:15:39,046 --> 00:15:40,714
What are you doing here?
355
00:15:40,747 --> 00:15:43,483
I just came by to say that.
356
00:15:46,853 --> 00:15:48,288
Okay, you guys, what do I do?
357
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:50,190
Well, first of all,
you have to be drunk enough
358
00:15:50,223 --> 00:15:52,659
to forget you're in a public bathroom.
359
00:15:52,693 --> 00:15:55,329
I'm not drunk. It's lunchtime.
360
00:15:55,362 --> 00:15:57,331
Oh, Melanie, this isn't you.
361
00:15:57,364 --> 00:16:00,033
And not being yourself is
the worst sex of all.
362
00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:02,402
I thought you said nice sex
was the worst sex of all.
363
00:16:02,502 --> 00:16:03,971
What do we know? We're not nice.
364
00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:06,306
We've never had nice sex.
365
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:07,374
Maybe it's good.
366
00:16:07,407 --> 00:16:08,976
It is good.
367
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,513
Ooh, roomy, isn't it?
368
00:16:13,547 --> 00:16:17,384
Lots of space for sex.
369
00:16:17,417 --> 00:16:19,686
And, of course, bacteria.
370
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,722
Jack, I'm sorry. This isn't me.
371
00:16:21,755 --> 00:16:23,690
And I'm... I'm sensing
this isn't you either.
372
00:16:23,724 --> 00:16:24,825
Mm.
373
00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:27,426
And not being yourself
is the worst sex of all.
374
00:16:27,461 --> 00:16:31,531
Well, actually, not having sex
is the worst sex of all.
375
00:16:31,565 --> 00:16:33,500
Shall we go back to my place? Yes, please.
376
00:16:33,533 --> 00:16:34,868
And if you still want to spice things up,
377
00:16:34,901 --> 00:16:37,904
I do have a scented candle
called "Moroccan Sundays,"
378
00:16:37,938 --> 00:16:40,874
which would be rather naughty
to light, as today's Tuesday.
379
00:16:42,609 --> 00:16:44,111
Hi, Debbie.
380
00:16:44,144 --> 00:16:45,579
I need to talk to you.
381
00:16:45,612 --> 00:16:47,748
Oh, my God, how did you know I was here?
382
00:16:47,781 --> 00:16:49,783
I've been following you all day
383
00:16:49,816 --> 00:16:52,986
but not in a creepy way.
384
00:16:53,020 --> 00:16:54,588
How is that not creepy?
385
00:16:54,621 --> 00:16:57,858
Because my son needs
a companion Saturday nights,
386
00:16:57,891 --> 00:17:00,360
and it can't be me anymore.
387
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:01,628
Look...
388
00:17:01,662 --> 00:17:04,498
I've texted Owen. He's on his way here.
389
00:17:04,531 --> 00:17:07,034
And I was hoping
to smooth things over with you,
390
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:08,502
so you'd give him another chance.
391
00:17:08,537 --> 00:17:10,203
No, you are crazy.
392
00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:13,240
Leave me alone, or I'm calling the police.
393
00:17:13,273 --> 00:17:16,076
You don't have to do that. I'm leaving.
394
00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:21,615
You can't give up like that.
395
00:17:21,648 --> 00:17:22,916
Have some confidence.
396
00:17:22,950 --> 00:17:26,219
Now get back in there,
and do what I do with my kids.
397
00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:27,621
When we've hurt each other,
398
00:17:27,656 --> 00:17:28,989
we start all over again
399
00:17:29,022 --> 00:17:30,691
and do it the way we wish we'd done it.
400
00:17:30,724 --> 00:17:32,960
We call it a do-over.
This one time with Jenna...
401
00:17:32,993 --> 00:17:34,761
you do realize that
you can make her stop talking
402
00:17:34,795 --> 00:17:36,463
at any time.
403
00:17:41,902 --> 00:17:44,371
Hello, I'm Joy Scroggs.
404
00:17:44,471 --> 00:17:46,873
What are you doing?
405
00:17:46,907 --> 00:17:49,441
I'd like to try a do-over.
406
00:17:49,476 --> 00:17:52,946
I'm sorry for the way
things started with us.
407
00:17:52,980 --> 00:17:55,582
My son really likes you.
408
00:17:55,616 --> 00:18:00,721
He says every other woman
pales in comparison to y...
409
00:18:00,754 --> 00:18:04,391
not pales.
410
00:18:04,491 --> 00:18:07,160
Look, Owen is a great guy,
411
00:18:07,194 --> 00:18:09,229
and you should give him another chance.
412
00:18:09,263 --> 00:18:11,231
Mom, what's going on?
413
00:18:11,265 --> 00:18:15,002
Debbie, I am so sorry. This woman is crazy.
414
00:18:15,035 --> 00:18:16,603
Oh, she is crazy,
415
00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:19,673
but she also said that I should
give you a second chance.
416
00:18:19,706 --> 00:18:21,875
And besides, a nice guy like you
417
00:18:21,908 --> 00:18:24,177
shouldn't be spending all of his
Saturday nights with his mother.
418
00:18:24,211 --> 00:18:26,847
Wha...
419
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,216
you told her that?
420
00:18:29,249 --> 00:18:32,352
Would you like to join me for a drink?
421
00:18:32,452 --> 00:18:33,453
I would.
422
00:18:37,157 --> 00:18:39,693
Oh, this is so cute.
423
00:18:39,726 --> 00:18:40,694
Mom.
424
00:18:40,727 --> 00:18:43,463
Going. Totally going.
425
00:18:45,265 --> 00:18:47,467
But so cute.
426
00:18:50,465 --> 00:18:51,633
You know, Joy,
427
00:18:51,666 --> 00:18:53,167
I'm really starting
to get used to the hair.
428
00:18:53,201 --> 00:18:54,269
I'm loving it.
429
00:18:54,302 --> 00:18:55,503
I'm changing it back tomorrow.
430
00:18:55,536 --> 00:18:58,740
- Oh, thank God.
- It's hideous.
431
00:18:58,773 --> 00:19:02,710
Grow your mustache out,
you'll look like Mark Twain.
432
00:19:06,047 --> 00:19:08,850
So how'd things go with Jack?
433
00:19:08,883 --> 00:19:11,085
Well, my friends, there is a reason
434
00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:13,921
that vanilla is the most popular
flavor of ice cream
435
00:19:13,955 --> 00:19:15,890
in the world.
436
00:19:15,923 --> 00:19:18,626
How many scoops?
437
00:19:18,660 --> 00:19:20,028
Elka!
438
00:19:23,498 --> 00:19:24,532
Oh.
439
00:19:31,739 --> 00:19:33,942
- Oh.
- Hello.
440
00:19:33,975 --> 00:19:35,877
I have some urgent city business
441
00:19:35,910 --> 00:19:38,346
to discuss with the councilwoman.
442
00:19:42,717 --> 00:19:45,787
So what's the urgent city business?
443
00:19:47,588 --> 00:19:48,656
I miss you.
444
00:19:48,690 --> 00:19:52,026
I miss you, too.
445
00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:54,929
Just doing our jobs, serving the people?
446
00:19:54,963 --> 00:19:56,965
That's boring.
447
00:19:56,998 --> 00:20:00,735
It's Scandal without the sex.
448
00:20:00,835 --> 00:20:02,070
Who's watching that?
449
00:20:02,103 --> 00:20:04,872
I'm not.
450
00:20:04,906 --> 00:20:06,307
Can we get back together?
451
00:20:06,341 --> 00:20:07,508
Don't do it, Elka.
452
00:20:07,542 --> 00:20:09,077
Think of your career.
453
00:20:09,110 --> 00:20:11,579
It'll end in tears.
454
00:20:11,613 --> 00:20:14,649
What do you think?
455
00:20:14,682 --> 00:20:15,650
Go for it.
456
00:20:15,683 --> 00:20:17,885
Those women are idiots.
457
00:20:17,919 --> 00:20:19,587
I don't like Joy.
458
00:20:19,621 --> 00:20:21,756
None of us do.
459
00:20:24,425 --> 00:20:26,761
Let's do it for Cleveland.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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